The Eric Andre Show 1x4

Directed by

Brandi Glanville as Self • Lisa Stanley as Self • Killer Mike as Self

Eric and Hannibal pretend to be News Anchors. Andre plays basketball in a werewolf costume.

Request examples:

!req The Eric Andre Show 1x4 [02:32]
!req The Eric Andre Show 1x4 [The Eric Andre Show 1x4]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Eric Andre Show 1x4 [10-11]; !req The Eric Andre Show 1x4 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

2. "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

3. MMM!

4. OKAY. UH...

5. OKAY. UH... SO, UH —

6. SO, UH — SO, UM, UH, GUNS N' ROSES, THEY

7. SO, UH — SO, UM, UH, GUNS N' ROSES, THEY JUST GOT INTO THE

8. SO, UM, UH, GUNS N' ROSES, THEY JUST GOT INTO THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME.

9. JUST GOT INTO THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME.

10. ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME. CHINESE DEMOCRACY?

11. CHINESE DEMOCRACY? YEAH, RIGHT — MORE LIKE

12. CHINESE DEMOCRACY? YEAH, RIGHT — MORE LIKE TAIWANESE CONSTITUTIONAL

13. YEAH, RIGHT — MORE LIKE TAIWANESE CONSTITUTIONAL MONARCHY.

14. TAIWANESE CONSTITUTIONAL MONARCHY.

15. MONARCHY. HORRIBLE PUNCH LINE.

16. HORRIBLE PUNCH LINE. UH, UH, SO, UH, SANTA CLAUS,

17. HORRIBLE PUNCH LINE. UH, UH, SO, UH, SANTA CLAUS, H-HE'S RUNNING FOR...

18. UH, UH, SO, UH, SANTA CLAUS, H-HE'S RUNNING FOR... PRESIDENT SOON BECAUSE...

19. H-HE'S RUNNING FOR... PRESIDENT SOON BECAUSE... I-I'M SORRY, Y'ALL.

20. PRESIDENT SOON BECAUSE... I-I'M SORRY, Y'ALL. BUT I'VE BEEN MEANING TO DO THIS

21. I-I'M SORRY, Y'ALL. BUT I'VE BEEN MEANING TO DO THIS FOR A LONG-ASS TIME.

22. BUT I'VE BEEN MEANING TO DO THIS FOR A LONG-ASS TIME.

23. YEA-A-A-H.

24. SIR, SIR, OR, MA'AM, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE ALLEGATIONS?

25. YOU THINK ABOUT THE ALLEGATIONS? A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS, MA'AM.

26. A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS, MA'AM. MA'AM, WHAT DO YOU THINK

27. MA'AM, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE ALLEGATIONS?

28. ABOUT THE ALLEGATIONS? SIR, PLEASE IGNORE ME A-AND PUT

29. SIR, PLEASE IGNORE ME A-AND PUT YOUR ARM UP.

30. YOUR ARM UP. PLEASE IGNORE ME, SIR.

31. PLEASE IGNORE ME, SIR. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR

32. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

33. YOURSELF? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

34. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHERE DO YOU STAND?

35. WHERE DO YOU STAND? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

36. WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHAT ABOUT THE PHOTOS, MA'AM?

37. WHAT ABOUT THE PHOTOS, MA'AM? DO YOU THINK THE PHOTOS ARE

38. DO YOU THINK THE PHOTOS ARE GONNA PLAY A ROLE?

39. GONNA PLAY A ROLE? ARE YOU SERIOUS?

40. ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE

41. WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE ISSUE?

42. ISSUE? WHY IS SOMEONE FOLL— UM, I

43. WHY IS SOMEONE FOLL— UM, I DON'T KNOW.

44. DON'T KNOW. CHANNEL 43. UH, IS IT TRUE?

45. CHANNEL 43. UH, IS IT TRUE? IS IT TRUE?

46. IS IT TRUE? NO, IS IT —

47. NO, IS IT — NO, MY CLIENT WON'T SPEAK ON

48. NO, MY CLIENT WON'T SPEAK ON THESE ALLEGATIONS RIGHT NOW.

49. THESE ALLEGATIONS RIGHT NOW. HEY, COME ON, MAN!

50. HEY, COME ON, MAN! GET THE BONSAI PLANTS.

51. GET THE BONSAI PLANTS. HEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT MY

52. HEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT MY CLIENT OR HER FRIENDS.

53. CLIENT OR HER FRIENDS. I DON'T FEEL WELL, MAN.

54. I DON'T FEEL WELL, MAN. I'M TRAPPED IN A JOB I DON'T

55. I'M TRAPPED IN A JOB I DON'T CARE FOR!

56. CARE FOR! EVERY WEEKEND, SLATER!

57. EVERY WEEKEND, SLATER! DUE PROCESS IN A COURT OF LAW

58. DUE PROCESS IN A COURT OF LAW AND ALL THAT STUFF.

59. AND ALL THAT STUFF. LOOK AT MY SUIT.

60. UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

61. UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, O-OUR NEXT GUEST IS, UH...

62. UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, O-OUR NEXT GUEST IS, UH... BRANDI GLANVILLE.

63. O-OUR NEXT GUEST IS, UH... BRANDI GLANVILLE. B-BRANDI GLANVILLE.

64. BRANDI GLANVILLE. B-BRANDI GLANVILLE.

65. HEY.

66. HEY. WHOO!

67. WHOO!

68. UP TOP!

69. BOOM! HELLO. HAVE A SEAT. ENJOY YOURSELF.

70. HELLO. HAVE A SEAT. ENJOY YOURSELF. UM...

71. HAVE A SEAT. ENJOY YOURSELF. UM... YOU ARE A REALITY STAR.

72. UM... YOU ARE A REALITY STAR. YOU'RE AN ACTRESS.

73. YOU ARE A REALITY STAR. YOU'RE AN ACTRESS. YOU'RE A MODEL.

74. YOU'RE AN ACTRESS. YOU'RE A MODEL. YOU ARE CRYSTAL PEPSI

75. YOU'RE A MODEL. YOU ARE CRYSTAL PEPSI PERSONIFIED.

76. YOU ARE CRYSTAL PEPSI PERSONIFIED. TELL ME YOUR NAME ONE MORE TIME.

77. PERSONIFIED. TELL ME YOUR NAME ONE MORE TIME. BRANDI GLAN—

78. TELL ME YOUR NAME ONE MORE TIME. BRANDI GLAN— YOU ARE A — YOU ARE ON A

79. BRANDI GLAN— YOU ARE A — YOU ARE ON A SHOW.

80. YOU ARE A — YOU ARE ON A SHOW. YEAH, I'M ON A SHOW.

81. SHOW. YEAH, I'M ON A SHOW. YEAH, "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF

82. YEAH, I'M ON A SHOW. YEAH, "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS."

83. YEAH, "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS." "BEVERLY HILLS 90210."

84. BEVERLY HILLS." "BEVERLY HILLS 90210." HELLO.

85. "BEVERLY HILLS 90210." HELLO. WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU

86. HELLO. WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU DID THE "MACARENA"?

87. WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU DID THE "MACARENA"? OH, I FORGOT YOU WERE THERE!

88. DID THE "MACARENA"? OH, I FORGOT YOU WERE THERE! HOW'D YOU FORGET I —

89. OH, I FORGOT YOU WERE THERE! HOW'D YOU FORGET I — IT'S, LIKE, A LITTLE CREEPY

90. HOW'D YOU FORGET I — IT'S, LIKE, A LITTLE CREEPY HAVING HIM, LIKE, HOVER OVER,

91. IT'S, LIKE, A LITTLE CREEPY HAVING HIM, LIKE, HOVER OVER, RIGHT?

92. HAVING HIM, LIKE, HOVER OVER, RIGHT? SHUT UP.

93. RIGHT? SHUT UP. YOU'RE CREEPY.

94. SHUT UP. YOU'RE CREEPY. I-I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

95. YOU'RE CREEPY. I-I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. YOU — WHY DO YOU KEEP SWITCHING

96. I-I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. YOU — WHY DO YOU KEEP SWITCHING BACK TO YOUR GLASSES?

97. YOU — WHY DO YOU KEEP SWITCHING BACK TO YOUR GLASSES? HUH?

98. BACK TO YOUR GLASSES? HUH? YOU JUST KEEP SWITCHING YOUR

99. HUH? YOU JUST KEEP SWITCHING YOUR GLASSES OUT.

100. YOU JUST KEEP SWITCHING YOUR GLASSES OUT. I'VE NEVER SWITCHED GLASSES.

101. GLASSES OUT. I'VE NEVER SWITCHED GLASSES. I SWORE YOU HAD, LIKE, BLACK

102. I'VE NEVER SWITCHED GLASSES. I SWORE YOU HAD, LIKE, BLACK RAY-BANS ON.

103. I SWORE YOU HAD, LIKE, BLACK RAY-BANS ON. I DON'T SUPPORT THE RAY-BAN

104. RAY-BANS ON. I DON'T SUPPORT THE RAY-BAN COMPANY.

105. I DON'T SUPPORT THE RAY-BAN COMPANY. YOU DON'T?

106. COMPANY. YOU DON'T? NO.

107. YOU DON'T? NO. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR

108. NO. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR GLASSES?

109. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR GLASSES? LensCrafters.

110. GLASSES? LensCrafters. OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

111. LensCrafters. OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. THEY HAVE ONE IN, UH, WALMART

112. OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. THEY HAVE ONE IN, UH, WALMART NOW.

113. THEY HAVE ONE IN, UH, WALMART NOW. LIKE, YOU CAN JUST GO IN THERE.

114. NOW. LIKE, YOU CAN JUST GO IN THERE. IT'S OPEN LIKE 24 HOURS.

115. LIKE, YOU CAN JUST GO IN THERE. IT'S OPEN LIKE 24 HOURS. I DON'T SUPPORT WALMART

116. IT'S OPEN LIKE 24 HOURS. I DON'T SUPPORT WALMART EITHER.

117. I DON'T SUPPORT WALMART EITHER. OH.

118. EITHER. OH. I'M MORE OF A SMALL-BUSINESS

119. OH. I'M MORE OF A SMALL-BUSINESS TYPE OF GUY.

120. I'M MORE OF A SMALL-BUSINESS TYPE OF GUY. WELL, LensCrafters IS A GIANT

121. TYPE OF GUY. WELL, LensCrafters IS A GIANT CHAIN.

122. WELL, LensCrafters IS A GIANT CHAIN. LIKE JAMBA JUICE.

123. CHAIN. LIKE JAMBA JUICE. RIGHT.

124. LIKE JAMBA JUICE. RIGHT. Y-YOUR GLASSES SAY "RAY-BAN."

125. RIGHT. Y-YOUR GLASSES SAY "RAY-BAN." I'M NOT GONNA LIE.

126. Y-YOUR GLASSES SAY "RAY-BAN." I'M NOT GONNA LIE. I SWEAR I JUST SAW IT ON THE

127. I'M NOT GONNA LIE. I SWEAR I JUST SAW IT ON THE SIDE.

128. I SWEAR I JUST SAW IT ON THE SIDE. OH, MAN.

129. SIDE. OH, MAN. WHAT'S THE — WHAT'S THE

130. OH, MAN. WHAT'S THE — WHAT'S THE FARTHEST YOU EVER GOT WITH A

131. WHAT'S THE — WHAT'S THE FARTHEST YOU EVER GOT WITH A WOMAN?

132. FARTHEST YOU EVER GOT WITH A WOMAN? UH, REALLY?

133. WOMAN? UH, REALLY? YEAH, CARDS ON THE

134. UH, REALLY? YEAH, CARDS ON THE TABLE.

135. YEAH, CARDS ON THE TABLE. I'VE GONE ALL THE WAY.

136. TABLE. I'VE GONE ALL THE WAY. REALLY?

137. I'VE GONE ALL THE WAY. REALLY? YEAH.

138. REALLY? YEAH.

139. YEAH. WH— WHO ARE THESE WOMEN?

140. WH— WHO ARE THESE WOMEN? LESBIANS.

141. WH— WHO ARE THESE WOMEN? LESBIANS.

142. LESBIANS. WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR WOMB

143. WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR WOMB AS BEING BARREN?

144. WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR WOMB AS BEING BARREN? MY WOMB — I HAVE TWO SMALL

145. AS BEING BARREN? MY WOMB — I HAVE TWO SMALL CHILDREN.

146. MY WOMB — I HAVE TWO SMALL CHILDREN. UM, SO IT'S BEEN OCCUPIED.

147. CHILDREN. UM, SO IT'S BEEN OCCUPIED. IT IS NOW, I GUESS —

148. UM, SO IT'S BEEN OCCUPIED. IT IS NOW, I GUESS — ANDREW, YOU KNOW, I CAN HEAR

149. IT IS NOW, I GUESS — ANDREW, YOU KNOW, I CAN HEAR YOU TALKING THE WHOLE

150. ANDREW, YOU KNOW, I CAN HEAR YOU TALKING THE WHOLE INTERVIEW, MAN.

151. YOU TALKING THE WHOLE INTERVIEW, MAN.

152. INTERVIEW, MAN. IT'S JUST REALLY FRUSTRATING,

153. IT'S JUST REALLY FRUSTRATING, DUDE.

154. IT'S JUST REALLY FRUSTRATING, DUDE. SORRY. I-I DON'T KNOW —

155. DUDE. SORRY. I-I DON'T KNOW — HEY!

156. SORRY. I-I DON'T KNOW — HEY! HEY.

157. HEY! HEY. HEY. SORRY.

158. HEY. HEY. SORRY. HEY, ANDREW, CAN I TALK TO YOU

159. HEY. SORRY. HEY, ANDREW, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

160. HEY, ANDREW, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? OH, NO.

161. FOR A SECOND? OH, NO. AND BEND OVER.

162. OH, NO. AND BEND OVER. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

163. AND BEND OVER. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. OH, MY GOD!

164. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. OH, MY GOD!

165. OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!

166. OH, MY GOD! WHEN I'M DOING THE

167. OH, MY GOD! WHEN I'M DOING THE SHOW, SHUT UP!

168. MAN!

169. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS TONIGHT'S TOP 1 LIST.

170. TONIGHT'S TOP 1 LIST.

171. TONIGHT'S CATEGORY — TOP 1 REASONS TO GO TO A KOREAN STRIP CLUB.

172. REASONS TO GO TO A KOREAN STRIP CLUB.

173. CLUB. AND NUMBER ONE IS...

174. AND NUMBER ONE IS... THE TITS.

175. AND NUMBER ONE IS... THE TITS. WAIT, IS THAT, LIKE, A TWIST

176. THE TITS. WAIT, IS THAT, LIKE, A TWIST 'CAUSE KOREANS DON'T HAVE BIG

177. WAIT, IS THAT, LIKE, A TWIST 'CAUSE KOREANS DON'T HAVE BIG TITS?

178. 'CAUSE KOREANS DON'T HAVE BIG TITS? HEY.

179. TITS? HEY. I DON'T — I DON'T —

180. HEY. I DON'T — I DON'T — THAT'S YOUR DESK.

181. I DON'T — I DON'T — THAT'S YOUR DESK.

182. RECENTLY, PAKISTANI OFFICIALS STATED THAT NATO AIRCRAFT HAD KILLED AT LEAST 12 COMBATANTS

183. STATED THAT NATO AIRCRAFT HAD KILLED AT LEAST 12 COMBATANTS ALONG THE SOUTHEASTERN AFGHAN

184. KILLED AT LEAST 12 COMBATANTS ALONG THE SOUTHEASTERN AFGHAN BORDER.

185. ALONG THE SOUTHEASTERN AFGHAN BORDER. HERE TO COMMENT ON THE NEWS IS

186. BORDER. HERE TO COMMENT ON THE NEWS IS VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN.

187. VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN.

188. UGH! WHAT THE HELL? JOE, SHOULDN'T WE NOT MESS

189. WHAT THE HELL? JOE, SHOULDN'T WE NOT MESS WITH PAKISTAN?

190. JOE, SHOULDN'T WE NOT MESS WITH PAKISTAN? I MEAN, THEY HAVE NUKES.

191. WITH PAKISTAN? I MEAN, THEY HAVE NUKES.

192. I MEAN, THEY HAVE NUKES. THAT'S A — I UNDER—

193. THAT'S A — I UNDER— I UNDERSTAND.

194. THAT'S A — I UNDER— I UNDERSTAND.

195. PAUL TSONGAS? WHAT UP? WHERE YOU ALL KNOW EACH OTHER

196. WHERE YOU ALL KNOW EACH OTHER FROM?

197. THE LORD... MAY OR MAY NOT BE REAL!

198. THE LORD... MAY OR MAY NOT BE REAL! WHO IS TO SAY THAT GOD EXISTS?

199. MAY OR MAY NOT BE REAL! WHO IS TO SAY THAT GOD EXISTS?

200. WHO IS TO SAY THAT GOD EXISTS? JESUS...

201. JESUS... DID SOME STUFF...

202. JESUS... DID SOME STUFF... MAYBE.

203. DID SOME STUFF... MAYBE. SHOUT IF YOU HAVE DOUBT!

204. MAYBE. SHOUT IF YOU HAVE DOUBT! SHOUT!

205. SHOUT IF YOU HAVE DOUBT! SHOUT!

206. SHOUT! WHERE MY LONELY DRIFTERS AT?

207. WHERE MY LONELY DRIFTERS AT? I BELIEVE. I BELIEVE.

208. YEAH! YOU HAVE SOMEBODY TO WORSHIP NOW.

209. YOU CAN SEE OUR NEXT COMEDIAN DEFEND HIS UFC MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT THIS SATURDAY

210. DEFEND HIS UFC MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT THIS SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE FUNNY BONE IN

211. CHAMPIONSHIP BELT THIS SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE FUNNY BONE IN SCHAUMBURG, INDIANA.

212. NIGHT AT THE FUNNY BONE IN SCHAUMBURG, INDIANA. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR

213. SCHAUMBURG, INDIANA. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR T.P. "PITCHFORK" BULGER!

214. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR T.P. "PITCHFORK" BULGER! YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

215. T.P. "PITCHFORK" BULGER! YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

216. YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

217. SIR! HEY, SIR! SIR, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SITUATION?

218. SIR, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SITUATION? WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE

219. SITUATION? WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE ISSUES?

220. WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE ISSUES? WHICH ISSUES?

221. ISSUES? WHICH ISSUES? ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM.

222. WHICH ISSUES? ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM. ALL THE ISSUES.

223. ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM. ALL THE ISSUES. ARE THERE ANY DOCUMENTS ON

224. ALL THE ISSUES. ARE THERE ANY DOCUMENTS ON CHANNEL 43?

225. ARE THERE ANY DOCUMENTS ON CHANNEL 43? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

226. CHANNEL 43? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

227. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. WHERE ARE THE DOCUMENTS, SIR?

228. TALKING ABOUT. WHERE ARE THE DOCUMENTS, SIR? WHERE IS THE SITUATION WITH

229. WHERE ARE THE DOCUMENTS, SIR? WHERE IS THE SITUATION WITH THE DOCUMENTS?

230. WHERE IS THE SITUATION WITH THE DOCUMENTS? WHAT IS A DOCUMENT?

231. THE DOCUMENTS? WHAT IS A DOCUMENT? WHICH DOCUMENTS?

232. WHAT IS A DOCUMENT? WHICH DOCUMENTS? I MEAN, UH...

233. WHICH DOCUMENTS? I MEAN, UH... CAN YOU TELL YOUR FANS WHAT

234. I MEAN, UH... CAN YOU TELL YOUR FANS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOCUMENTS?

235. CAN YOU TELL YOUR FANS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOCUMENTS? ALL OF THE DOCUMENTS.

236. HAPPENED TO THE DOCUMENTS? ALL OF THE DOCUMENTS. SIR, PLEASE, ALL OF THE

237. ALL OF THE DOCUMENTS. SIR, PLEASE, ALL OF THE DOCUMENTS.

238. SIR, PLEASE, ALL OF THE DOCUMENTS. MY CLIENT ONLY SPEAKS TO

239. DOCUMENTS. MY CLIENT ONLY SPEAKS TO CABLE NEWS.

240. MY CLIENT ONLY SPEAKS TO CABLE NEWS. MY CLIENT WILL NOT SPEAK WITH

241. CABLE NEWS. MY CLIENT WILL NOT SPEAK WITH YOU.

242. MY CLIENT WILL NOT SPEAK WITH YOU. GIVE ME A LITTLE KISS.

243. YOU. GIVE ME A LITTLE KISS. NO COMMENTS.

244. GIVE ME A LITTLE KISS. NO COMMENTS. WILL YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE

245. NO COMMENTS. WILL YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE KISS?

246. WILL YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE KISS? WILL YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE KISS,

247. WILL YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE KISS, SIR?

248. THIS IS ENOUGH.

249. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MUSICAL GUEST OF THE EVENING, OPERA SINGER LISA STANLEY AND

250. MUSICAL GUEST OF THE EVENING, OPERA SINGER LISA STANLEY AND HER HYPE MAN, KILLER MIKE.

251. OPERA SINGER LISA STANLEY AND HER HYPE MAN, KILLER MIKE.

252. OPERA, HO ♪

253. ♪ AND I'M IN LOVE WITH A

254. ♪ I EAT YOU LIKE YOU PASTA,

255. ♪ THOSE HOS REALLY DON'T

256. LOVE YOU, MAN ♪ ♪ THOSE HOS DON'T LIKE THEIR OWN

257. KIND ♪

258. ♪ THIS MATH IS MORE THEY SEE,