The Eric Andre Show 1x1

1. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

2. "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

3. MY HANDS!

4. THAT'S, UH — THAT'S ALL I HAD PLANNED FOR THE, UH — FOR THE SHOW.

5. PLANNED FOR THE, UH — FOR THE SHOW. WHAT SHOULD I, UH — WHAT SHOULD

6. SHOW. WHAT SHOULD I, UH — WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?

7. WHAT SHOULD I, UH — WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW? I DON'T KNOW.

8. I DO NOW? I DON'T KNOW. DO A MONOLOGUE OR SOMETHING.

9. I DON'T KNOW. DO A MONOLOGUE OR SOMETHING. YEAH, OKAY. I GOT THAT.

10. DO A MONOLOGUE OR SOMETHING. YEAH, OKAY. I GOT THAT.

11. YEAH, OKAY. I GOT THAT. ALL RIGHT, SO, UH...

12. ALL RIGHT, SO, UH... MICHAEL JACKSON?

13. ALL RIGHT, SO, UH... MICHAEL JACKSON? HE — HE HASN'T BEEN IN THE NEWS

14. MICHAEL JACKSON? HE — HE HASN'T BEEN IN THE NEWS TOO MUCH LATELY, RIGHT?

15. HE — HE HASN'T BEEN IN THE NEWS TOO MUCH LATELY, RIGHT?

16. TOO MUCH LATELY, RIGHT? IT'S LIKE, WHERE YOU HIDING,

17. IT'S LIKE, WHERE YOU HIDING, JACKO?

18. IT'S LIKE, WHERE YOU HIDING, JACKO? HE'S DEAD, MAN.

19. JACKO? HE'S DEAD, MAN. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

20. HE'S DEAD, MAN. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I'M — DON'T LOOK — WORK THE

21. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I'M — DON'T LOOK — WORK THE CROWD, MAN.

22. I'M — DON'T LOOK — WORK THE CROWD, MAN. DON'T LOOK AT ME.

23. CROWD, MAN. DON'T LOOK AT ME. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,

24. DON'T LOOK AT ME. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER.

25. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER. SO, UH, UM, BEYONCé, SHE'S,

26. WHATEVER. SO, UH, UM, BEYONCé, SHE'S, UH — SHE'S TRYING TO TRIM DOWN

27. SO, UH, UM, BEYONCé, SHE'S, UH — SHE'S TRYING TO TRIM DOWN ON THAT BABY FAT.

28. UH — SHE'S TRYING TO TRIM DOWN ON THAT BABY FAT.

29. ON THAT BABY FAT. SAW HER WITHOUT HER SHIRT ON,

30. SAW HER WITHOUT HER SHIRT ON, I WAS LIKE, WHOO, WHO'S THAT

31. SAW HER WITHOUT HER SHIRT ON, I WAS LIKE, WHOO, WHO'S THAT WOMAN WITH SIX TITS LIKE A DOG?

32. I WAS LIKE, WHOO, WHO'S THAT WOMAN WITH SIX TITS LIKE A DOG? WHAT?

33. WOMAN WITH SIX TITS LIKE A DOG? WHAT? I WAS LIKE...

34. WHAT? I WAS LIKE...

35. I WAS LIKE... HONK, HONK.

36. HONK, HONK. WAIT A MINUTE.

37. HONK, HONK. WAIT A MINUTE. YOU FOR REAL THINK THAT THOSE

38. WAIT A MINUTE. YOU FOR REAL THINK THAT THOSE WORDS THAT YOU JUST SAID SHOULD

39. YOU FOR REAL THINK THAT THOSE WORDS THAT YOU JUST SAID SHOULD BE ON TELEVISION?

40. WORDS THAT YOU JUST SAID SHOULD BE ON TELEVISION?

41. I'M DYING. WE ALL ARE.

42. CONGRATULATIONS!

43. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AMERICA'S FAVORITE LEADING MAN, GEORGE CLOONEY!

44. AMERICA'S FAVORITE LEADING MAN, GEORGE CLOONEY! COME ON OUT, YEAH!

45. GEORGE CLOONEY! COME ON OUT, YEAH! THERE HE IS.

46. COME ON OUT, YEAH! THERE HE IS. THERE HE IS. YES, OKAY.

47. BEFORE YOU TAKE A SEAT, COULD — COULD YOU START OUT DOING SOME OF YOUR AWARD-WINNING STAND-UP

48. COULD YOU START OUT DOING SOME OF YOUR AWARD-WINNING STAND-UP COMEDY FOR US?

49. OF YOUR AWARD-WINNING STAND-UP COMEDY FOR US? COME ON UP THERE.

50. COMEDY FOR US? COME ON UP THERE. UH, WELL, AWARD-WINNING —

51. COME ON UP THERE. UH, WELL, AWARD-WINNING — I DON'T KNOW.

52. UH, WELL, AWARD-WINNING — I DON'T KNOW. LET'S SEE HERE. UH, HMM.

53. I DON'T KNOW. LET'S SEE HERE. UH, HMM. UH...

54. LET'S SEE HERE. UH, HMM. UH... UH...

55. YOU KNOW, WHEN I'M SPARRING WITH MY BUDDIES — BRAD AND THE BOYS — WE DON'T DO A LOT OF,

56. WITH MY BUDDIES — BRAD AND THE BOYS — WE DON'T DO A LOT OF, UH, KARATE, "HYAH, HYAH."

57. BOYS — WE DON'T DO A LOT OF, UH, KARATE, "HYAH, HYAH." WE EXPLORE MORE LIKE LOVERS,

58. UH, KARATE, "HYAH, HYAH." WE EXPLORE MORE LIKE LOVERS, YOU KNOW?

59. WE EXPLORE MORE LIKE LOVERS, YOU KNOW? IT'S LIKE A BONDING AND ROLLING

60. YOU KNOW? IT'S LIKE A BONDING AND ROLLING AROUND, YOU KNOW.

61. IT'S LIKE A BONDING AND ROLLING AROUND, YOU KNOW. BUT —

62. AROUND, YOU KNOW. BUT — GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.

63. BUT — GREAT, GREAT, GREAT. THANK YOU.

64. GREAT, GREAT, GREAT. THANK YOU.

65. THANK YOU. EXCELLENT.

66. EXCELLENT. SO, YOU TOLD ME LAST TIME A

67. EXCELLENT. SO, YOU TOLD ME LAST TIME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR —

68. SO, YOU TOLD ME LAST TIME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR — YOUR WIFE.

69. LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR — YOUR WIFE. IT'S FUNNY WHEN YOU —

70. YOUR WIFE. IT'S FUNNY WHEN YOU — YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE,

71. IT'S FUNNY WHEN YOU — YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE, AND THE FIRST NIGHT WAS WILD,

72. YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE, AND THE FIRST NIGHT WAS WILD, SO, YOU KNOW, WE, UH — NO

73. AND THE FIRST NIGHT WAS WILD, SO, YOU KNOW, WE, UH — NO QUESTION IN OUR MIND.

74. SO, YOU KNOW, WE, UH — NO QUESTION IN OUR MIND. WE WERE DONE. WE HOOKED UP.

75. QUESTION IN OUR MIND. WE WERE DONE. WE HOOKED UP. OH, WOW.

76. WE WERE DONE. WE HOOKED UP. OH, WOW. FIRST NIGHT? FIRST NIGHT?

77. OH, WOW. FIRST NIGHT? FIRST NIGHT? YEAH, YEAH.

78. FIRST NIGHT? FIRST NIGHT? YEAH, YEAH. FIRST NIGHT?

79. YEAH, YEAH. FIRST NIGHT? OH!

80. FIRST NIGHT? OH! OW!

81. OH! OW! YEAH, YEAH.

82. OW! YEAH, YEAH.

83. YEAH, YEAH. IT TOOK ME A WHILE FOR —TO

84. IT TOOK ME A WHILE FOR —TO TEACH HER ENGLISH.

85. IT TOOK ME A WHILE FOR —TO TEACH HER ENGLISH. WHOA.

86. TEACH HER ENGLISH. WHOA. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?

87. WHOA. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? GOD IS EVERYTHING — YOU

88. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? GOD IS EVERYTHING — YOU KNOW, THE MOUNTAINS, THE

89. GOD IS EVERYTHING — YOU KNOW, THE MOUNTAINS, THE OCEAN...

90. KNOW, THE MOUNTAINS, THE OCEAN... SORRY TO BACKTRACK.

91. OCEAN... SORRY TO BACKTRACK. YOU SAID THAT YOU HAD TO TEACH

92. SORRY TO BACKTRACK. YOU SAID THAT YOU HAD TO TEACH HER ENGLISH.

93. YOU SAID THAT YOU HAD TO TEACH HER ENGLISH. BRIGHT WATER...

94. HER ENGLISH. BRIGHT WATER... BUT YOU SMASHED THE FIRST

95. BRIGHT WATER... BUT YOU SMASHED THE FIRST NIGHT, SO...

96. BUT YOU SMASHED THE FIRST NIGHT, SO... I — RIGHT NOW I HAVE A

97. NIGHT, SO... I — RIGHT NOW I HAVE A SQUIRREL ALWAYS COMING TO MY

98. I — RIGHT NOW I HAVE A SQUIRREL ALWAYS COMING TO MY HOUSE, AND IT'S ALWAYS KNOCKING

99. SQUIRREL ALWAYS COMING TO MY HOUSE, AND IT'S ALWAYS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR...

100. HOUSE, AND IT'S ALWAYS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR... WHAT DID YOU DO TO SMASH IF

101. ON THE DOOR... WHAT DID YOU DO TO SMASH IF YOU COULDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH TO

102. WHAT DID YOU DO TO SMASH IF YOU COULDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH TO HER?

103. YOU COULDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH TO HER? KIND OF LIKE, YOU KNOW,

104. HER? KIND OF LIKE, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST WONDERING, MAYBE THAT'S

105. KIND OF LIKE, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST WONDERING, MAYBE THAT'S MY MOM.

106. I'M JUST WONDERING, MAYBE THAT'S MY MOM.

107. MY MOM. OH, I THINK — OH, YES, WE'RE

108. OH, I THINK — OH, YES, WE'RE GOING TO DO THE COFFEE

109. OH, I THINK — OH, YES, WE'RE GOING TO DO THE COFFEE CHALLENGE.

110. OH, BOY. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

111. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO.

112. COFFEE CHALLENGE. DON'T BE SHY. SLAM IT?

113. DON'T BE SHY. SLAM IT? AS MUCH AS YOU CAN DO.

114. SLAM IT? AS MUCH AS YOU CAN DO. SLAM IT.

115. AS MUCH AS YOU CAN DO. SLAM IT. ARE YOU KIDDING? OH, BLACK?

116. SLAM IT. ARE YOU KIDDING? OH, BLACK? CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, YEAH.

117. ARE YOU KIDDING? OH, BLACK? CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, YEAH. CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG,

118. CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, YEAH. CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG.

119. CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG.

120. GLAD WE GOT A TABLE HERE. YEAH. YEAH. ALL RIGHT! NICE.

121. YEAH. YEAH. ALL RIGHT! NICE. ALL RIGHT, I'M BACK. OKAY.

122. NICE. ALL RIGHT, I'M BACK. OKAY. EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT.

123. ALL RIGHT, I'M BACK. OKAY. EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT. NOW YOU'RE BACK, BABY.

124. EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT. NOW YOU'RE BACK, BABY. ALL RIGHT, HOW WAS THAT FOR YOU?

125. NOW YOU'RE BACK, BABY. ALL RIGHT, HOW WAS THAT FOR YOU? THAT WAS GOOD.

126. ALL RIGHT, HOW WAS THAT FOR YOU? THAT WAS GOOD. THAT WAS GREAT.

127. THAT WAS GOOD. THAT WAS GREAT. GUN TO YOUR HEAD, WHO WOULD

128. THAT WAS GREAT. GUN TO YOUR HEAD, WHO WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE SEX WITH — YOUR

129. GUN TO YOUR HEAD, WHO WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE SEX WITH — YOUR MOM OR YOUR DAD?

130. YOU RATHER HAVE SEX WITH — YOUR MOM OR YOUR DAD? WHOO!

131. MOM OR YOUR DAD? WHOO!

132. THIS IS OUR FLAG. OH, LORD. OH, LORD.

133. OH, LORD. OH, LORD. OH, LORD. HIDE US! HIDE ME!

134. OH, LORD. HIDE US! HIDE ME! HIDE ME, MAN! HIDE ME, MAN!

135. HIDE US! HIDE ME! HIDE ME, MAN! HIDE ME, MAN! HIDE US! SOMEBODY HIDE US!

136. HIDE ME, MAN! HIDE ME, MAN! HIDE US! SOMEBODY HIDE US! HIDE US! HIDE US! HIDE US!

137. HIDE US! SOMEBODY HIDE US! HIDE US! HIDE US! HIDE US! HIDE US!

138. HIDE US! HIDE US! HIDE US! HIDE US! AAH!

139. DON'T FORGET THEM SLAVES! LOOK OUT, HERE THEY COME!

140. LOOK OUT, HERE THEY COME! WHY IS EVERYBODY WATCHING?

141. LOOK OUT, HERE THEY COME! WHY IS EVERYBODY WATCHING? YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!

142. WHY IS EVERYBODY WATCHING? YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!

143. YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! OH, LORD! OH, LORD!

144. AND WE'RE BACK WITH GEORGE CLOONEY. LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW MOVIE.

145. GEORGE CLOONEY. LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW MOVIE. ♪ THE WATERS FROM THE TALLEST

146. THE SEA ♪ ♪ OUR EMPIRE ♪ ♪ THE CENTER OF OUR RIVER

147. WRONG ♪ THAT WAS HELLA BORING.

148. THAT WAS HELLA BORING. WHOO.

149. THIS NEXT GUEST YOU'VE SEEN ON "VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN."

150. THIS NEXT GUEST YOU'VE SEEN ON "VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN." PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR —

151. ON "VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN." PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR — IT'S TIME TO PLAY "THIS OR

152. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR — IT'S TIME TO PLAY "THIS OR THAT?"

153. IT'S TIME TO PLAY "THIS OR THAT?"

154. THAT?" CONTESTANTS, ARE YOU READY?

155. CONTESTANTS, ARE YOU READY? NO.

156. CONTESTANTS, ARE YOU READY? NO. NO.

157. NO. NO. YOGA OR TAI CHI?

158. NO. YOGA OR TAI CHI? TAI CHI?

159. YOGA OR TAI CHI? TAI CHI?

160. TAI CHI? SORRY. WE COULD NOT HEAR YOU.

161. SORRY. WE COULD NOT HEAR YOU. HOT COFFEE TO THE FACE!

162. SORRY. WE COULD NOT HEAR YOU. HOT COFFEE TO THE FACE! AAH! OH! OH, MY GOD!

163. HOT COFFEE TO THE FACE! AAH! OH! OH, MY GOD! NEXT QUESTION.

164. AAH! OH! OH, MY GOD! NEXT QUESTION. MOLESTED OR GENIUS?

165. NEXT QUESTION. MOLESTED OR GENIUS? OH, MY GOD.

166. MOLESTED OR GENIUS? OH, MY GOD. OH. OH.

167. OH, MY GOD. OH. OH. LETTUCE.

168. OH. OH. LETTUCE.

169. LETTUCE. I DIDN'T SEE THE —

170. I DIDN'T SEE THE — OH, COME ON, MAN!

171. I DIDN'T SEE THE — OH, COME ON, MAN! HOW DOES THIS GAME EVEN WORK?

172. OH, COME ON, MAN! HOW DOES THIS GAME EVEN WORK? CLOACA OR COCHLEA?

173. HOW DOES THIS GAME EVEN WORK? CLOACA OR COCHLEA? OH, MY GOD.

174. CLOACA OR COCHLEA? OH, MY GOD. COCHLEA?

175. OH, MY GOD. COCHLEA? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE

176. COCHLEA? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN, MAN!

177. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN, MAN!

178. WORDS MEAN, MAN! AAH!

179. AAH!

180. ERIC, DRINK THIS MILK AND

181. ERIC, DRINK THIS MILK AND TELL US, IS IT FRESH OR SPOILED?

182. ERIC, DRINK THIS MILK AND TELL US, IS IT FRESH OR SPOILED? WHAT?

183. TELL US, IS IT FRESH OR SPOILED? WHAT? UGH! DEFINITELY SPOILED!

184. WHAT? UGH! DEFINITELY SPOILED!

185. UGH! DEFINITELY SPOILED! GOD! OH!

186. GOD! OH! OW! OH!

187. GOD! OH! OW! OH! YO, YOU OWE ME 3,000 BUCKS,

188. OW! OH! YO, YOU OWE ME 3,000 BUCKS, SON.

189. YO, YOU OWE ME 3,000 BUCKS, SON. WHAT?

190. SON. WHAT?

191. AAH!

192. AH, A MAN WHO NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION — PLEASE GIVE IT

193. AH, A MAN WHO NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION — PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR DOLPH LUNDGREN,

194. INTRODUCTION — PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR DOLPH LUNDGREN, EVERYBODY!

195. UP FOR DOLPH LUNDGREN, EVERYBODY! YAY.

196. EVERYBODY! YAY.

197. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. THERE HE IS.

198. HOW ARE YOU? YEAH. DOLPH DADDY!

199. YEAH. DOLPH DADDY! I LOVE BOYZ II MEN.

200. DOLPH DADDY! I LOVE BOYZ II MEN.

201. I LOVE BOYZ II MEN.

202. I'M VERY EXCITED.

203. I'M VERY EXCITED. THANKS, MAN.

204. I'M VERY EXCITED. THANKS, MAN. YOU — YOU AGED — YOU AGED

205. THANKS, MAN. YOU — YOU AGED — YOU AGED AMAZING.

206. YOU — YOU AGED — YOU AGED AMAZING. HOW DO YOU — WHAT'S YOUR

207. AMAZING. HOW DO YOU — WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?

208. HOW DO YOU — WHAT'S YOUR SECRET? YOU MUST EAT A TON

209. SECRET? YOU MUST EAT A TON OF VITAMINS.

210. YOU MUST EAT A TON OF VITAMINS. NO, I GOT, LIKE, THOSE VIKING

211. OF VITAMINS. NO, I GOT, LIKE, THOSE VIKING GENETICS TO JUST LIKE — A BUNCH

212. NO, I GOT, LIKE, THOSE VIKING GENETICS TO JUST LIKE — A BUNCH OF, LIKE, RAPISTS AND PILLAGERS,

213. GENETICS TO JUST LIKE — A BUNCH OF, LIKE, RAPISTS AND PILLAGERS, YOU KNOW, BUT FROM SWEDEN, YOU

214. OF, LIKE, RAPISTS AND PILLAGERS, YOU KNOW, BUT FROM SWEDEN, YOU KNOW?

215. YOU KNOW, BUT FROM SWEDEN, YOU KNOW? I'VE ALWAYS TOLD HANNIBAL I

216. KNOW? I'VE ALWAYS TOLD HANNIBAL I KNEW YOU HAD RAPIST BLOOD.

217. I'VE ALWAYS TOLD HANNIBAL I KNEW YOU HAD RAPIST BLOOD. I GOT IT.

218. KNEW YOU HAD RAPIST BLOOD. I GOT IT.

219. I GOT IT. AND YOU WERE IN "HE-MAN."

220. AND YOU WERE IN "HE-MAN." YEP.

221. AND YOU WERE IN "HE-MAN." YEP. YOU EVER BEEN INSIDE A

222. YEP. YOU EVER BEEN INSIDE A SHE-MAN?

223. YOU EVER BEEN INSIDE A SHE-MAN? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

224. SHE-MAN? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT WAS THE '70s.

225. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT WAS THE '70s. IT WAS FUN — LET'S PUT IT

226. IT WAS THE '70s. IT WAS FUN — LET'S PUT IT THAT WAY — FOR A SWEDISH KID

227. IT WAS FUN — LET'S PUT IT THAT WAY — FOR A SWEDISH KID WHO, YOU KNOW, USED TO DO

228. THAT WAY — FOR A SWEDISH KID WHO, YOU KNOW, USED TO DO CHEMICAL ENGINEERING.

229. WHO, YOU KNOW, USED TO DO CHEMICAL ENGINEERING. IT WAS — IT WAS — IT WAS A BIG

230. CHEMICAL ENGINEERING. IT WAS — IT WAS — IT WAS A BIG CHANGE, THAT'S FOR SURE.

231. IT WAS — IT WAS — IT WAS A BIG CHANGE, THAT'S FOR SURE. HOW MANY CHEMICALS ARE THERE?

232. CHANGE, THAT'S FOR SURE. HOW MANY CHEMICALS ARE THERE? HOW MANY CHEMICALS?

233. HOW MANY CHEMICALS ARE THERE? HOW MANY CHEMICALS? WELL, THERE ARE, YOU KNOW, HOW

234. HOW MANY CHEMICALS? WELL, THERE ARE, YOU KNOW, HOW MANY ELEMENTS, WHICH...

235. WELL, THERE ARE, YOU KNOW, HOW MANY ELEMENTS, WHICH... 67.

236. MANY ELEMENTS, WHICH... 67. THERE'S ABOUT 104, I

237. 67. THERE'S ABOUT 104, I THINK, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...

238. THERE'S ABOUT 104, I THINK, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT... YEAH.

239. THINK, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT... YEAH. IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY.

240. YEAH. IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY. 2.

241. IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY. 2. WHAT ARE YOU — YOU'RE VERY

242. 2. WHAT ARE YOU — YOU'RE VERY SPIRITUAL.

243. WHAT ARE YOU — YOU'RE VERY SPIRITUAL. NO, YOU'RE NOT.

244. SPIRITUAL. NO, YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE — YOU'RE A HARD-CORE

245. NO, YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE — YOU'RE A HARD-CORE ATHEIST — NIHILIST.

246. YOU'RE — YOU'RE A HARD-CORE ATHEIST — NIHILIST. I THINK BUDDHISM IS KIND OF

247. ATHEIST — NIHILIST. I THINK BUDDHISM IS KIND OF COOL BECAUSE THEY — THEY THINK

248. I THINK BUDDHISM IS KIND OF COOL BECAUSE THEY — THEY THINK YOU SHOULD LEARN SOMETHING EVERY

249. COOL BECAUSE THEY — THEY THINK YOU SHOULD LEARN SOMETHING EVERY TIME YOU COME BACK.

250. YOU SHOULD LEARN SOMETHING EVERY TIME YOU COME BACK. YEAH.

251. TIME YOU COME BACK. YEAH. YOU KNOW?

252. YEAH. YOU KNOW? MY GRANDDAD IS REINCARNATED.

253. YOU KNOW? MY GRANDDAD IS REINCARNATED. YEAH. HUH?

254. MY GRANDDAD IS REINCARNATED. YEAH. HUH? HE — HE REINCARNATED AS ALL

255. YEAH. HUH? HE — HE REINCARNATED AS ALL WATER, MY GRANDDAD.

256. HE — HE REINCARNATED AS ALL WATER, MY GRANDDAD. THAT'S COOL.

257. WATER, MY GRANDDAD. THAT'S COOL. AT LEAST HE'S WET, YOU KNOW?

258. THAT'S COOL. AT LEAST HE'S WET, YOU KNOW? YEAH.

259. AT LEAST HE'S WET, YOU KNOW? YEAH. OH, WANT SOME?

260. YEAH. OH, WANT SOME? I'M GONNA MAKE A LITTLE PILLOW,

261. OH, WANT SOME? I'M GONNA MAKE A LITTLE PILLOW, YOU KNOW?

262. WELCOME TO HELL! AAH!

263. AAH! MAN, WHY'D YOU GO AND SCARE

264. MAN, WHY'D YOU GO AND SCARE MY GIRL LIKE THAT, MAN?

265. MAN, WHY'D YOU GO AND SCARE MY GIRL LIKE THAT, MAN? YOU'RE THE ONE-MILLIONTH

266. MY GIRL LIKE THAT, MAN? YOU'RE THE ONE-MILLIONTH PERSON TO USE THIS GARBAGE CAN.

267. YOU'RE THE ONE-MILLIONTH PERSON TO USE THIS GARBAGE CAN. OH, MY GOD.

268. PERSON TO USE THIS GARBAGE CAN. OH, MY GOD. SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU,

269. OH, MY GOD. SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU, MAN, STANDING IN GARBAGE CANS?

270. SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU, MAN, STANDING IN GARBAGE CANS? TRYING TO GIVE SOMEBODY A HEART

271. MAN, STANDING IN GARBAGE CANS? TRYING TO GIVE SOMEBODY A HEART ATTACK?

272. TRYING TO GIVE SOMEBODY A HEART ATTACK? NO.

273. ATTACK? NO. HUH?

274. NO. HUH? I BOOKED TONIGHT'S MUSICAL

275. HUH? I BOOKED TONIGHT'S MUSICAL ACT BEFORE I REMEMBERED I

276. I BOOKED TONIGHT'S MUSICAL ACT BEFORE I REMEMBERED I ALREADY BOOKED ANOTHER MUSICAL

277. ACT BEFORE I REMEMBERED I ALREADY BOOKED ANOTHER MUSICAL ACT FOR THE NIGHT, SO WITHOUT

278. ALREADY BOOKED ANOTHER MUSICAL ACT FOR THE NIGHT, SO WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ADO, PLEASE WELCOME

279. ACT FOR THE NIGHT, SO WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ADO, PLEASE WELCOME MODERN TIME MACHINES AND

280. ANY FURTHER ADO, PLEASE WELCOME MODERN TIME MACHINES AND RETALIATE.