The Curse 1x5

1. We're officially ordering

2. ten episodes of Fliplanthropy

3. for HGTV Go!

4. Spank you!

5. Spank you very much!

6. The coffee shop's reopening soon anyway,

7. so we don't even need him doing security anymore.

8. God, she's so good, it's annoying.

9. Have you seen Cara's work before?

10. We own four of her pieces.

11. If you're bringing new people to this community,

12. they should know that these aren't public roads.

13. This is Pueblo land.

14. It's crazy. Some of these title companies

15. don't even wanna issue insurance

16. because they're so concerned

17. what the Pueblos might do.

18. Just 'cause Whitney has a moral issue with something

19. that's happening, we just toss it away?

20. Give me a fucking break.

21. You know, with a gas unit,

22. this house no longer qualifies as passive.

23. We need to be more discerning about

24. who we're selling these homes to.

25. People like Vic

26. just do not deserve to be part

27. of what we're building.

28. All right. Lucinda, hands in the front,

29. Dennis, point out the features of the house.

30. Yeah. I like the, um, bushes over there. Nice.

31. - Like, really nice. - And the cactus, too.

32. No talking though, okay?

33. We don't need the audio.

34. Maybe, um, a little less impressed,

35. more skeptical of the house.

36. No, not... not skeptical.

37. It's beautiful.

38. You like it.

39. All right, we got this. Let's move on to the tour, okay?

40. Dougie? Dougie? Did we get enough of him smiling?

41. Yes, we did.

42. All right, squeeze, squeeze.

43. Ready? One, two, three.

44. All right.

45. - Got it? - Got it.

46. - Thank you. - Man,

47. this is actually very easy.

48. We could do this ourselves.

49. Ugh. What do we need you for?

50. Okay, fine, you do it. I quit.

51. Good riddance. See ya.

52. Oh, yeah, the fucking spoiled TV host

53. can film her own TV show.

54. You don't appreciate us.

55. I almost got you.

56. That's funny.

57. You know, I think you do need to think

58. about the things that you say

59. around a bunch of people

60. as opposed to the jokes you make only with me,

61. you know.

62. Like you laughing in my face is not okay.

63. You need to show me the respect I deserve.

64. Okay, Remi?

65. Was that clear?

66. Yeah, I'm sorry.

67. I'm really sorry, uh, it won't happen again.

68. Oh, my God.

69. You... you fucking got me!

70. We should've been filming that for the show.

71. - You fucking got me. - You should have seen your face.

72. You fucking got me.

73. Have they signed the contract yet?

74. Uh, not yet.

75. It's... it's a tricky thing to bring up

76. just because we're a week away from closing.

77. I just don't want them to think that they have to sign a letter

78. in support of the tribe as a condition,

79. like a new condition of closing on the home,

80. - you know what I mean? - Well, they do.

81. - I mean, they do. - I'm, like—

82. Well, we hope they agree,

83. but we're not gonna,

84. like, pull out of the deal if they don't.

85. No, we're not gonna pull out of the deal,

86. but we're, you know—

87. Hey, is my mic on, Jose?

88. - Were you just recording me? - What happened?

89. - Were you recording? - No, no, no. Of course not.

90. - No? Let me... - No. No, yeah, I'm not. Okay.

91. - Let me listen. - Of course. Yeah.

92. Hello? Hello? Test?

93. - No signal. - You turned it down

94. - when I was walking. - No. Actually, I was—

95. - I saw, you're fidgeting. - I was greasing the knobs.

96. - Oh, you're greasing the knobs? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

97. That's a... that's a thing you do?

98. Yeah, it's a term.

99. Yeah. Whenever this knob gets stuck, we have to— Yeah.

100. I see. Okay. No recording

101. in between filming, okay?

102. We talked about that, man.

103. Hey.

104. Maybe I can record you sometime.

105. What does that... what does that mean?

106. Making you come.

107. Oh, my God. Just get the contract signed.

108. - What? - What?

109. What?

110. Oh. Don't!

111. - Jose. - What's up?

112. Were you listening to what we were just saying?

113. No, the mics are off.

114. - Okay. Thank you. - Yes, sir.

115. Ugh, right? All this...

116. - Hey. - Oh, hey.

117. You guys are doing great so far.

118. Thank you.

119. - Yeah. - I'm just trying to

120. channel the feeling of when we first saw it.

121. Oh, yeah?

122. And what feeling was that?

123. - Uncertainty? - Yeah.

124. Uh, we've never heard of a passive house,

125. so we just really weren't sure.

126. - Wow. - Still aren't.

127. Yeah.

128. You're trapped now.

129. Uh, but seriously,

130. the home is amazing.

131. Whitney puts everything into these things

132. so you guys... you guys will be very happy.

133. Um, are you familiar

134. with the San Pedro Pueblo at all,

135. just south of here?

136. Um, we did have a question

137. about the easements controversy we've been seeing on the news.

138. I wasn't sure if it was about this neighborhood,

139. - but I wanted to— - No, exactly.

140. It's not about this neighborhood at all. And...

141. To be honest, the whole thing is a little

142. sensationalism.

143. Basically, uh, the Pueblo is just trying to negotiate

144. a lease agreement with the federal government

145. for public use of their roads,

146. which are rightfully theirs, and they've been

147. allowing people to use for free for decades.

148. So, I don't know what you've read,

149. but if you, you know, seen anything about charging

150. residents tolls or not allowing people

151. to access their homes,

152. that's all completely salacious fake.

153. It's racist, to be honest.

154. Um, yeah. We're very close with the tribe.

155. So, there won't be any issues with title in the future?

156. No. No, not at all. I mean,

157. you were able to get title insurance, weren't you?

158. - Yeah. Yeah. - I mean, yeah.

159. I mean, insurance companies aren't really

160. in the business of losing money.

161. So as long as you never sell,

162. you'll be fine. I'm just kidding.

163. Just in... in all seriousness,

164. um, they wouldn't have issued you that insurance

165. if they foresaw any future title issues,

166. so I feel like...

167. Oh, you're all buttoned up.

168. I think... I think it's just,

169. you know, you've been very upfront and transparent with us

170. about everything else,

171. and I think we were just a little disappointed that,

172. you know, we didn't hear about this from you,

173. - we had to see it on the news. - The news, yeah.

174. Right. Well, there would be no point

175. in me telling you about it

176. because it has nothing to do with this property.

177. It would be like me, you know, talking about land issue

178. that's in the Gaza Strip

179. when I'm trying to sell you this home.

180. One has nothing to do with the other.

181. - Right. - Yeah. So...

182. Um, we're gonna grab you two for touch-ups

183. before we go inside and keep you looking beautiful, okay?

184. - Okay. - Yes. Don't put too much

185. makeup on them, uh, I like...

186. They're very beautiful, how they are.

187. Maybe a little blow drier or something. Um...

188. Yeah, yeah. We'll-we'll take care of that.

189. - Okay. With you? Come with you? - It's not a problem. Yup.

190. - All right. Enjoy. Yes. - Thanks, Asher.

191. - Thank you. - Yes.

192. Oh, so nice to meet you.

193. I'm Whitney, and this is Asher.

194. - I'm Dennis. - Hi.

195. - Nice to see you. - Dennis. Good to meet you.

196. - Hello. - Come on in. Yeah.

197. All right. Come on through and follow me.

198. So before I get into the details

199. of everything you're seeing here,

200. I'd love to just take you into this space

201. so you can really take it in, feel it.

202. We, uh, we feel it. It's great.

203. We feel it.

204. And, you'll notice that the color temperature

205. from the LED lighting

206. matches the outside light that's coming in

207. from your windows and your skylight.

208. Uh, so the sink water comes from the toilet?

209. All right. Wasn't gonna go there first,

210. but let's talk about my favorite room in the house.

211. That is the Japanese-inspired powder room.

212. And actually, it's the other way around.

213. The toilet water comes from the sink.

214. - Oh. - Yeah.

215. Kind of like a prison.

216. Well, actually, prisons have one of the most

217. energy-efficient waste systems.

218. - Cool. So we'd be paying... - Yeah

219. $850,000 to live in a prison?

220. Prison toilets don't have lids.

221. - That's true. - Uh, maybe...

222. Let's... Let's stop comparing them to a prison.

223. You know, prisons also don't have

224. reclaimed oak flooring, do they?

225. - True. - Yeah. Yeah.

226. Should we check out the kitchen?

227. - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. Great. Follow me.

228. There is so much storage in these built-ins.

229. Uh, pretty great for a home chef. Oh.

230. Sorry. Can I just get a water?

231. - It's just really hot in here. - Sure.

232. Can I get some waters on standby, please?

233. Some trouble thinking. Sorry.

234. - Okay. You ready? Okay. - Yup.

235. So, at the back of your induction range here,

236. this is actually gonna capture the steam

237. and convert it into energy

238. that goes right to your central battery.

239. It's kind of a bonus

240. on top of the moisture recovery ventilation,

241. which is something we, uh, threw in.

242. Most passive homes actually don't have that,

243. so we're pretty proud of that.

244. - Cool. - Yeah.

245. And, uh, this is a fun fact,

246. but this induction range

247. is actually the preferred cooking method

248. of Michelin-Star chefs.

249. - Really? - They absolutely

250. swear by it because of the heat control.

251. - Cool. - Ah!

252. Oh!

253. You!

254. I thought... I thought you burnt your hand.

255. - She's funny. - Maybe you should,

256. uh, grab your metal trays because the menu today

257. is mashed potatoes with gravy.

258. It's a... prison joke from the...

259. Oh, don't drop the soap.

260. Oh. That's a good prison joke.

261. That is—

262. No, it's actually goat milk soap.

263. It's really lovely.

264. - Oh. - Yeah.

265. Um, I do have one question.

266. Um, is there enough wattage in here

267. to power a couple, uh, like split AC units?

268. - Yes. Good question, Dennis. - Just because...

269. Okay. Well, the answer to that is...

270. you don't need one.

271. The beauty of a passive home is

272. it actually functions like a thermos.

273. So it's never going below 66 degrees in the winter

274. or above 78 degrees in the summer,

275. - if you can believe that. - Right, but, uh,

276. 78 is, like, sweltering. I mean,

277. you know, how... what is it in here right now?

278. Because I guess it depends on wherever you're from,

279. you know, you adjust to.

280. But, um, we did open the door

281. when we all came in the front door

282. and so it, it takes a little while to equalize.

283. - And let in some air. - Yeah.

284. - Okay. Right. - Yeah. But once it does,

285. - it is heavenly. It's heavenly. - Okay. Okay.

286. - Yeah. - How long does it usually take?

287. Uh, five to seven hours, probably?

288. - To equalize, yeah. - Yeah.

289. Every time you open the door?

290. Yeah. Just because heat will come in

291. and then we'll take time to...

292. um, or a window will cause the same.

293. But once you get that temperature, you know,

294. you wanna keep the doors and windows shut

295. - because you got it locked in. - Right.

296. It's a nice 72... 70 to 72.

297. So don't open any doors or windows?

298. Unless you want it to get hot or cold.

299. - Like a thermos. - Yes.

300. - Or prison. - Yeah.

301. - Yeah. - Well...

302. I don't think he's actually

303. gonna put in an AC and I think

304. he was just pretending for the camera.

305. I think he didn't even mention an AC

306. when they actually toured the house two months ago.

307. Have they signed the contract yet?

308. There hasn't been a good moment yet.

309. Oh.

310. And let's not refer to it as a contract, okay?

311. It's a non-legally binding letter of intent.

312. Thank you. Okay.

313. Go ahead.

314. Do you have my phone, Whit? Have you seen my phone?

315. No.

316. What are you doing?

317. Oh, fuck.

318. I'm sorry, man. I thought that was my phone.

319. Your phone's a different brand.

320. I know. This was so stupid. Fuck. What's up?

321. Why are there dating apps on here?

322. You put Jdate and Tinder on my phone.

323. I was gonna give it to Whitney and say I found your phone.

324. Why is it wet?

325. Ashman. It's funny, come on.

326. - Two seconds. - Two seconds.

327. - Hey. - Not leaving, are you?

328. No, no, uh, we're just hanging out.

329. Yeah. Um, I... Um, I can't always tell

330. what's real or not when we're shooting,

331. so, um, I just wanted to say

332. that if you're really interested in a ductless AC,

333. I actually have a contact in California

334. who does these great integrated HVACs.

335. Oh, uh, thanks, um, but my brother,

336. uh, he actually works at Roadrunner

337. so he's just gonna hook us up with one for free.

338. Oh, that's great.

339. - You can't beat free. - Yeah.

340. Do you know what kind of system it is by chance?

341. I don't know,

342. but I'm assuming it's one of those

343. Energy Star ones, for sure. Yeah.

344. You know, people think Energy Star is efficient,

345. but it's actually not.

346. And if you're... if you're interested

347. in maintaining the passive certification,

348. then it's— You're gonna lose it

349. if you don't put in the right system.

350. - I mean, that's— - The certification

351. isn't important to us.

352. This is one of 12 houses in all of New Mexico

353. that's certified passive,

354. so you're members of a very exclusive club.

355. And to throw all of that away to save a couple,

356. what, thousand bucks on AC does...

357. doesn't seem like a wise investment... to me.

358. I mean, you could be part of history here with this.

359. I just think that—

360. That's good to know.

361. - Yeah. - Thank you.

362. - Yup. - Great.

363. - Okay. - Okay.

364. Where's the contract?

365. Um, it's in my laptop bag in the hallway closet.

366. Tonya. Hey. Do you have a pen?

367. Thank you.

368. Whit.

369. Whit!

370. Whit!

371. Hi. We're asking all of our new buyers

372. to, uh, sign this letter of support

373. of the San Pedro Pueblo

374. ownership of the roads

375. and easements in this area.

376. We just wanna make sure that

377. any new guests in the community

378. understand the injustices affecting the tribe

379. and will maintain a good relationship with them.

380. - It's non-legally binding. - Then what is it?

381. It's saying that we won't object to any claims

382. of ownership by the tribe.

383. What if they claim our land?

384. Well, this property is not in dispute.

385. Who's to say they won't change their minds?

386. Isn't that what they're doing with the easements?

387. - No. - Nobody changed their mind.

388. This should have been in the disclosure.

389. The easements relate to, uh,

390. just clarifying a vague language

391. in the Indian Act from over a hundred years ago.

392. That's... That's what they're doing.

393. If you go back far enough,

394. they could put claims on anything, no?

395. It just says you support the tribe.

396. That's all.

397. What if we don't?

398. So I mean, we don't know where this ends—

399. You don't have to sign it if you don't want to. Okay?

400. We don't know what these people are capable of.

401. - We'd prefer not to. - Hmm.

402. We talked to our realtor and he told us—

403. You know what, if you don't wanna live here,

404. no one's gonna force you to.

405. - Okay, okay. - Okay? All right?

406. Let's not go there. Okay.

407. - Let's not go there. - You didn't tell us

408. - about anything. - We're just talking.

409. - Okay. Yeah. It's okay. - We're just talking, right?

410. - Yes. We're just talking. - Okay. It's all good.

411. - All good. All right. - All right.

412. - Great. Thank you. - Okay.

413. Um, let's, uh, let's not pull out the shanks.

414. We don't want the warden to get mad at us.

415. She's a lot.

416. Let me talk to her. Okay?

417. You do have to watch your fucking language, though.

418. I'm fucking serious!

419. You don't talk about my wife like that!

420. Fucking bitch!

421. Maybe it's worth changing some of the language in the letter.

422. Uh, I could call James right now

423. and see if he's okay with, like, different wording

424. because some of the wording is a little... a little intense

425. - in the letter. You're scaring— - I'm sorry. What... What...

426. What are you saying? What are you saying?

427. The wording was scaring a little bit.

428. We're not— We're not selling to them.

429. They don't wanna live here.

430. They literally said they don't support the tribe.

431. I think... I think they might have just been confused.

432. Are you defending them?

433. - What? - No, no, baby, not at all.

434. Don't— You know what,

435. give the deposit back.

436. There are so many people who'd kill to live here.

437. - I didn't— - Sorry. Sorry.

438. Hey. I didn't spend four years of my life

439. perfecting this house to just give it to someone

440. who's not gonna care about it, or care about the community.

441. How do you not see what I'm seeing?

442. - Uh, I do. - I'm so confused.

443. I do see. I see everything.

444. - Oh, oh, really? - Yo, yo, yo.

445. What's going on? What'd you do?

446. What'd you say? They're done.

447. They don't wanna do the community garden,

448. they don't wanna do anything.

449. Cookout, it's over, they're saying.

450. Hmm.

451. We're not selling to them anymore.

452. Wow. Really?

453. Vic, too. So what are we gonna do?

454. What's the show gonna be like?

455. Who are we gonna follow? Tell me.

456. We had a backup offer.

457. The college girl who came with her... I could call her.

458. Okay. Can she get here today?

459. - Can she get here today? - She's with her dad, I guess.

460. No. No. She's, she's 20.

461. She's 20. Then it's gonna look like

462. that's the community we're building.

463. - And it's like a college town. - Look... fine.

464. No. That's a wrong idea.

465. It can be anybody. All right?

466. You can use her dad.

467. We can use fucking Remi.

468. We take off his dumb hat

469. and put on a shirt from my car.

470. It'll be great.

471. What?

472. Yeah. On my Bahamas show,

473. we did it all the time.

474. No real buyers.

475. It was just fucking pretend.

476. This could be anybody. All right?

477. Find somebody.

478. Remi, could you shut that off, please?

479. - Hi. - Hi.

480. Thank you so much for doing this.

481. - You're a lifesaver. - Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

482. - This is fun. - Yeah.

483. So, I basically just need to pretend

484. that I can afford a home like this?

485. I can't even afford a home like this.

486. You're totally lying to me, but, okay.

487. I'm not lying.

488. Um, so, yeah, it's... basically,

489. it's just kind of like,

490. they want you to really love the home, you know?

491. - Shows like this, it's like— - Yeah, yeah, yeah,

492. - for sure. - Whatever, TV stuff.

493. I know how to do it. I know...

494. - I know all the lingo and— - Okay.

495. Welcome to our passive home.

496. I'm Whitney and this is Asher.

497. Oh, my God.

498. I love it.

499. - Oh. - I'll take it.

500. This is exactly what I was looking for.

501. I'm gonna have, like, a million dinner parties here.

502. Great, but feel free to take a look around.

503. And if you have any questions, you can just let us know.

504. I heard that there's a lot of crime in the area,

505. and I saw some suspicious-looking people

506. on my drive here today. I mean, uh,

507. could you tell me about the security system?

508. Well, we... we actually... we don't have a security system,

509. uh, hooked up right now,

510. - um, but that's just... - Well—

511. because it doesn't feel necessary.

512. It's just such an inclusive neighborhood.

513. I read online

514. that this is one of the most dangerous

515. neighborhoods in the country.

516. Oh. Oh, my God.

517. I love this. Can I touch this?

518. Sure.

519. Wow.

520. Should I... should I just go reset it? I...

521. It's fine. Just let it happen.

522. So, are you looking for yourself...

523. - Don't worry about... - ... or... or family?

524. the security system.

525. I'm gonna put up an electric fence.

526. High voltage.

527. This is great.

528. Wow.

529. Um, do... do you have any questions about passive homes

530. or, uh, are you interested in them?

531. Oh, is that what this is?

532. A passive home?

533. I think I read about those in Amazing Architecture.

534. So, that's the bedroom you're walking into right now.

535. And, um, you could see the steps.

536. Come on.

537. All right. We're gonna cut and go over.

538. What was she doing? Was she making fun of me?

539. No, no, I think she just didn't wanna

540. be seen as herself on camera.

541. She... She wanted to be a character.

542. - She's a performance artist. - Amazing Architecture?

543. I mean, they did post about it.

544. - You want one? - No, I'm okay.

545. Um, I should probably follow-up with the college girl then,

546. right, to see if she's still interested?

547. I thought there was tons of interest.

548. The only other offer we got was from Mark Rose.

549. - The outdoorsy guy? - No.

550. That... The guy with the American flag on his truck?

551. - Yeah. - No.

552. We're not selling to him. Uh-uh.

553. - Right. - There was a blue line

554. - on that flag. - Yeah, yeah, right. Okay.

555. - Right. - Okay?

556. Yeah.

557. I just think we shouldn't put it off too long.

558. We do need to find someone to buy the house.

559. But I think we shouldn't worry so much

560. about selling it right now.

561. And we should focus more

562. on finding a buyer for the home

563. on the show.

564. Right.

565. I mean, this is an opportunity

566. because we can pick anyone

567. as a buyer on the show.

568. And they can embody the values of the community.

569. Like an avatar.

570. It's perfect.

571. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

572. It's just a little abstract

573. to... to think about... Yeah.

574. I know I can find the person.

575. I can see it in my head.

576. Yeah, me, too. Yeah.

577. I'm gonna talk to Dougie.

578. - Okay. Good. Yeah. - Okay.

579. And the word would spread throughout the camp

580. and everybody was like,

581. "Dougie's selling Playboy pages."

582. And it was tough 'cause sometimes the body

583. was like stuck in the lab.

584. - What's up? - Hey, Dougie,

585. if you let me go to Santa Fe really quickly,

586. I promise you, I can find you a buyer for this house.

587. It'll be really quick.

588. And we can use Cara for the blooper reel.

589. Um, I can actually drop you off on my way.

590. - Tonya. - Oh, it's fine.

591. - I'll just chill here. - Go with her

592. for one hour, all right? Make sure.

593. - Are you sure? - Yeah.

594. I'm going right by your house.

595. Oh, it's fine. I'll just chill.

596. Okay.

597. - Let's go. - Mm-hmm. You smoke, huh?

598. - I do. - It's gross. Disgusting.

599. Well, there's a lot of things

600. that I find disgusting about you.

601. Hmm. Oh, you're gonna die from that.

602. It's poisonous.

603. Well, at least I'll die happy.

604. My wife died, you know.

605. Of smoking?

606. No.

607. It was a car accident.

608. Hmm, sorry about that.

609. Won't people be weirded out?

610. How do they know you're not a sketchy person?

611. Well, sometimes they do think I'm a sketchy person.

612. I mean, when you street cast, you get a lot

613. of "No's" for sure, but sometimes people

614. get really excited to be on TV.

615. Oh, shit.

616. We have to stop by the plaza.

617. Do you want a coffee or something?

618. Did you take anything today?

619. Fernando said you took some jeans.

620. - Liar! - Liar, huh?

621. Do you have any ID?

622. - Anything? - We're just gonna...

623. - We're just gonna sit here... - What happened here?

624. Well, she stole a pair of jeans. I heard Enola yelling

625. and chasing her from the store.

626. So, I came out and restrained the woman

627. until the cops got here.

628. Fernando, you're not allowed to restrain people.

629. Oh, don't worry. I just blocked her from getting into her car.

630. - I didn't even touch her. - Okay.

631. Excuse me.

632. Uh, can we not press charges?

633. Uh, I'm the landlord of this place.

634. You could make a statement to the DA if you want.

635. Okay.

636. Luisa, can you go back in?

637. Fernando, can you...

638. can you get back to work, please?

639. Yes, of course.

640. Calm down!

641. - Enola. - Hi.

642. Hi. Are you okay?

643. Yeah. I just didn't know what to do.

644. One person took something two days ago,

645. and it made me feel uncomfortable.

646. - Oh, sweetie. - But my manager said

647. we have a zero-tolerance policy.

648. And Fernando said to tell him next time,

649. and he helped catch her.

650. Okay. We... We have to realize, um,

651. that when people commit crimes like this,

652. they're not hurting anyone, really.

653. You know, it's usually from a place of hardship.

654. But it hurts the business.

655. But do we really wanna ruin people's lives for something?

656. You know, I have an idea.

657. Do you have a pen?

658. - Yeah. - Okay.

659. Here is my credit card number.

660. Okay? I want you to write that down.

661. And then if someone takes an item from the store,

662. charge my credit card.

663. And then it's not stealing.

664. Some of these jeans are over $200.

665. That's... That's fine.

666. It's just we don't wanna call the police anymore.

667. And we don't want to confront anyone.

668. Just let them walk right out.

669. Okay?

670. This is... This is crazy.

671. I love your earrings.

672. - Thank you. My uncle made them. - Mm-hmm.

673. Um, does this have a three-digit code.

674. One-three-one.

675. There you go.

676. One macchiato and one flat white.

677. Enola was really appreciative of your help.

678. She's a good kid. Hold on one second.

679. There you go. This is on the house.

680. - Thank you, Fernando. - You're welcome. Enjoy.

681. Sorry that took so long.

682. It's okay.

683. Is everything okay?

684. Oh, yeah, I mean it's... everyone looks at Española

685. and sees these crazy crime rates,

686. but no one is looking at what the crimes actually are.

687. It's like, people stealing jeans...

688. "Oh, no, call the SWAT."

689. I mean... No wonder it's so hard to get people

690. to buy homes here.

691. Wasn't a guy got shot in his car last week?

692. Oh, that was outside of Fisher-Chick.

693. That's in La Mesilla.

694. Actually, I had to call the newspaper

695. to get that headline changed.

696. So, we work together.

697. We're working on a reality show,

698. um, and we're casting couples.

699. - You guys are a couple, right? - Yeah.

700. Do you think you'd be interested?

701. They're not interested.

702. - How much did you offer? - $50.

703. That feels low.

704. We should just up it to $200 or something.

705. No, they're not interested at all.

706. Oh. Ooh.

707. That guy. That guy. Look at him. Right there.

708. - The guy with the long hair. - Mm-hmm.

709. - The handsome guy. - Yeah. He is, right?

710. And that woman. Look, that woman over there

711. with the red hat. She's perfect,

712. - with the baby. - Okay.

713. - Yeah. - Okay.

714. Two of them. Okay.

715. Don't... Don't point at me this time,

716. just because it's, you know, it's like creepy.

717. It's like I'm spying.

718. Yeah.

719. Excuse me. Hi.

720. Uh, I'm so sorry to interrupt.

721. - What's up? - Um, but have you ever dreamed

722. of being on TV?

723. Oh.

724. Uh, no, not really.

725. Okay. Uh, do you mind

726. if I join you for a minute?

727. Yeah. It was, like, it's from my point,

728. it's like, um, I wanna say like five.

729. Yeah.

730. - I still have that, too. - Five? That's a lot.

731. It's like a... It's weird.

732. - It's like a fresh rubber... - Yeah. I mean,

733. I love your sense

734. if you just, like, feel you, like...

735. - Look at that. - ... every time.

736. - Hey, Doug. Sorry to interrupt. - Yeah.

737. Um, can I... can I just talk to you for one sec?

738. Yeah. Yeah.

739. Whoa, one second.

740. Be right back.

741. - So what's up? - Okay. Um, I want it to be

742. the guy with the long hair

743. and the woman with the baby as a family.

744. Okay. What about the...

745. the girl with the two-tone.

746. Yeah. No. I just...

747. I think that's a better unit.

748. - Okay. - And they can be curious

749. about the house, but not critical.

750. - Okay. - And, um, just no jokes

751. about any of it.

752. Like, no negativity about the neighborhood.

753. - None of that. - All right. You got that, Tonya?

754. - Mm-hmm. - No jokes, no negativity,

755. just good conversation about the house.

756. - Copy. - Cool.

757. Good?

758. - Yeah. - Cool.

759. See, I was thinking of getting some experts.

760. - You should. - Yeah.

761. That would be so amazing.

762. And be like, "Yo, what's going on?"

763. - They have— - Secured.

764. They have all that stuff that Doubleday.

765. - Doubleday - Yes.

766. - Yeah? Spicy? - Yeah.

767. You guys having fun?

768. Yeah. Having a good time over here.

769. - Yeah? - Yeah. I learned that

770. there's like a menthol stick that you can blow

771. into people's eye, and it makes them cry.

772. Oh, I know. It's so cool.

773. Yeah.

774. Dougie is the best.

775. He... He is.

776. Did you guys talk about the artwork in the home?

777. Just 'cause, Dougie, um, made me send you that release.

778. - Oh. - And it's just apparently,

779. we need, like, an official signature before...

780. - Right. - ... we can use your artwork

781. - in the... in the show. - Yeah.

782. Yeah, yeah, I need to do that.

783. Sorry.

784. Oh, no, it's, like, no rush.

785. Uh, kind of a rush, but not... not a big rush.

786. Yeah.

787. I'll get to it.

788. Did you let them know we're flexible on price?

789. Pascal doesn't wanna be

790. a couple with the other woman. He wants to be on camera

791. with his real girlfriend.

792. Did you not make that clear when you asked him

793. to do it in the first place?

794. I mean, I said we wanted just him,

795. but he's being difficult.

796. Do you wanna talk to him? Because I...

797. - Goddamn it! - I don't really know

798. what else to do?

799. But she hasn't bought a different home.

800. So, does— Are you sure

801. she doesn't wanna come look at it again?

802. We just pass that onto her?

803. You can just go in separately. I don't understand.

804. Yeah, multiple people come in to see homes.

805. I don't see why it would be a problem.

806. I'm sorry. I don't have that information quite for you...

807. - Hi. Hi, guys. - ... but I'm sure she can

808. - take care of you, guys. - I'm Whitney. I'm the host.

809. - Hi. - Thank you for coming out

810. - on such short notice. - No, we're good. Yeah.

811. Uh, you all good? Do you need anything?

812. - Yeah. No. - You need water?

813. - I'm good. Thank you. - I'll have a water.

814. - You want water? Okay. - Yeah. Um—

815. Can you get her a water, please?

816. - Yeah, I can. - Thank you.

817. I was just asking if it would be okay for me to go

818. with my girlfriend here.

819. She's really excited about this whole thing, and...

820. Of... of course. Yeah.

821. - Really? - Yeah.

822. Oh, great. Yeah.

823. Uh, someone was telling us

824. that, uh, me and her would have

825. to pretend to be a couple.

826. And... I... I didn't really see, uh—

827. Who said that?

828. Oh, well, she was just telling us.

829. - Yeah. Yeah. - Oh.

830. - So— - Oh, Tonya. Oh.

831. - Yeah. - I'll talk to her.

832. It's a... a little misunderstanding.

833. - That's okay. - Okay.

834. All right. Thank you.

835. All right. So, I guess he'll... whatever...

836. - he'll go with the girlfriend. - Mm-hmm.

837. Um, can you try to arrange

838. that the baby goes in with them?

839. Because I just really want it to feel like a family.

840. Um, they're technically not here as actors.

841. Like, so it's okay if the baby goes in with her mom,

842. but it gets a little complicated

843. if you're trying to use the baby as an actor.

844. I'm not asking the baby to act.

845. No. I mean, you can tell it's not their baby.

846. So I was thinking it's adopted or whatever,

847. but... Can you just—

848. I mean, uh... You... But you talked to them, right?

849. Yeah. Yeah.

850. - So they're going in? - Um, just hold on one second.

851. But, yeah, will you just try to...

852. I'll... I'll talk to them.

853. Okay.

854. - There's my movie star! - Hi.

855. Um, today is... today is actually not a good day

856. just because it's really busy

857. and we're really behind the scene. Um, please—

858. Oh, yeah. Sweetie, just do your work.

859. We're just here to support you.

860. Which is... quickly, quickly, quickly.

861. Paul and I had this amazing idea.

862. We wanna have his 70th birthday

863. - right here before you close. - No.

864. All of his friends— Yeah, they can—

865. I just wanna run inside. Get some measurements—

866. I'll stand out the way.

867. It's a quick measurement.

868. Dad, get in the car. Get in the car.

869. - Get in the car? - Okay.

870. Yeah? Okay.

871. Big guy, all right.

872. - Do you want us to— - But we're having—

873. Roll the windows up, please.

874. Why are we parking over here?

875. Where are we going? Because I'm not gonna walk

876. 150 yards with my ankle.

877. Oh, I mentioned to Shelly

878. the idea of having Paul's birthday over there.

879. And she said she could bring a photographer

880. and put it on social for her network.

881. Okay. Can you... Can you pull over here, Mom?

882. - Pull over there? Pull over. - All right. All right.

883. Okay. Shelly is your person.

884. We are not cross-pollinating publicity.

885. And Dad's 70th is not gonna be a PR event, okay?

886. Shelly just thinks it would be good for us

887. to be associated with the homes.

888. With something good for a change.

889. What is going on with you?

890. The reason that I came back from California

891. was you said these properties could be mine.

892. Mine. And now you're planning parties

893. and you're not even talking to me about it.

894. You treat me like a child!

895. And I'm a grownup. I'm a grownup woman! Okay?

896. I... I wouldn't have come back from California

897. if I knew that you'd be lording over me

898. like I'm some type of baby.

899. I wouldn't have! These properties are mine!

900. Española is mine! Okay? End of story.

901. So just... just— You're ruining my day!

902. I'm so busy, I'm going back to work.

903. Is everything okay?

904. - Are we okay? - I don't know.

905. Is it?

906. I'm leaving. You guys are going home.

907. Okay? Just drive that way.

908. Do not go back past that house.

909. You're so right. The temperature

910. is very consistent and comfortable.

911. And to think that we'll save $15,000

912. - over ten years in energy? - Yeah.

913. That's a lot of money.

914. Over time, a passive home is actually cheaper.

915. I'll tell you this, your energy bill

916. will be cheaper than my haircut.

917. I love this place. It's beautiful.

918. Yeah, yeah, like, like, they would call it,

919. like, "Native America" or something like that.

920. Native America. Emmy Award-winning, right?

921. Yeah.

922. Exactly.

923. - Yeah. - Man, it's disgusting.

924. - Yeah. - I love it, though.

925. - I know. - Um, Ronald Raven

926. - would be the president. - Ronald Raven?

927. So stupid.

928. Um, yeah.

929. Yeah, that's... that's way silly.

930. So how do you know Whitney?

931. She said you guys are good friends.

932. - She said that? - Yeah.

933. That we were good friends?

934. Yeah, she loves you.

935. Huh.

936. Yeah.

937. You know, I wasn't super familiar with Española,

938. but it has a really nice vibe and this just feels

939. like a community I'd be excited to be a part of.

940. I think we're ready to make an offer.

941. All three of us.

942. - Welcome to Española. - Yeah.

943. Yes. Thank you.

944. Okay. That was so good!

945. Let's... Let's actually just quickly do

946. just one other option where you don't touch your stomach.

947. - Okay. - Just in case we wanna cut

948. - the baby thing. Okay. - Cool.

949. And then, um... Okay, great.

950. So you guys are all set?

951. Okay. Got it.

952. I'm really starting to wish

953. that you guys were actually buying the house.

954. Truly.

955. Hey. In two weeks, get ready for your close ups!

956. You guys excited?

957. - Very. - Yeah?

958. - Super excited. - Good.

959. Hmm?

960. What does that mean?

961. - Enjoy. Yeah. - Enjoy, yes.

962. Enjoy, yes.

963. You said you love food.

964. I meant to say "this food."

965. One ketchup enough?

966. So, um, the college girl is out.

967. I think that's for the best.

968. We don't want the neighborhood filled with people

969. whose rich parents bought them houses.

970. Good.

971. What?

972. Oh, nothing.

973. I thought you're being, uh, self-deprecating.

974. I was.

975. I know.

976. Um...

977. I called Mark Rose's broker

978. to see if he's still interested.

979. We don't wanna be selling this home in the winter.

980. Okay? And he is still interested,

981. and he's willing to stay at his original offer.

982. - This is... This is... - Whit,

983. all I'm saying is let's not say no

984. just because of a flag.

985. Let's meet with the guy and see if he shares our values.

986. Let's not make any assumptions.

987. It's not an assumption.

988. It was a "Blue Lives Matter" flag.

989. We don't even know if that was his car.

990. It... It could have been a friend's car.

991. Look, look... Whit...

992. I cannot believe you reached out to him.

993. - Wow. - We're on the same team, okay?

994. We're on the same team. We're trying to build

995. something special together, but we need money to do that.

996. We can't just keep searching for a buyer

997. that might not even exist.

998. It's been one day.

999. Look at his Instagram, okay?

1000. He was at the protest against the Conquistador statue.

1001. There were White supremacists there.

1002. Read the caption.

1003. - "It's a good day?" - Yeah.

1004. There's, uh, an indigenous woman in the photo

1005. - holding a protest sign. - There's militia in the photo.

1006. How do you know that "It's a good day"

1007. is it referring to the militia shooting a protester?

1008. She's in the center of the frame.

1009. The militias are more to the side of the frame.

1010. She's obviously the focus.

1011. Whit, come on.

1012. We're— He's willing to meet us at the house tonight, okay?

1013. Just talk to him

1014. and if you still don't wanna sell to him,

1015. then I'll just ask you one more time.

1016. I'm joking. Whit... Baby.

1017. Money, money, money...

1018. Hey, Mark. Good to see you.

1019. Thanks for coming on such short notice.

1020. Oh, thanks for calling! I'm excited.

1021. - You remember Whitney? - Of course.

1022. - Yeah. - How could I forget?

1023. - Nice to see you again. - I shouldn't shake your hand.

1024. I'm feeling a little sick.

1025. Ah, I don't mind.

1026. You feeling sick, babe?

1027. - Nice to see you again. - Nice to see you. Yeah.

1028. - Outlaw? - Uh, yup.

1029. - Hmm. - That's me.

1030. Uh, should we head inside? Yeah? Come on.

1031. - Yes. Let's... Let's do that. - Um...

1032. You were here in the daytime last time, right?

1033. - Yes, this— - Right.

1034. So you haven't seen any of the, uh,

1035. - the beautiful uplighting. - It looks...

1036. It looks very different. I like it.

1037. After I saw this one,

1038. I started searching for other passive homes,

1039. and there's none in the area.

1040. I mean, I saw some eco-homes,

1041. but you ask them about thermal bridging

1042. and they haven't even considered any of that.

1043. I love that these are basically off the grid.

1044. You don't have to rely on anyone.

1045. But it's not like you're living in some shack

1046. cursing out the government.

1047. This has got style.

1048. It's so nice.

1049. Plus, it's really close to the labs.

1050. So, easy commute for me.

1051. Twenty minutes, straight shot.

1052. Now there's an interesting

1053. American flag sticker on your car.

1054. Oh, yeah. It's in support of, uh, local police.

1055. - Mm-hmm. - Firefighters.

1056. They have really, really tough jobs.

1057. And I show my support in other ways, too.

1058. You donate to...

1059. To the police.

1060. And to other causes.

1061. UNICEF, World Wildlife Fund,

1062. Christian missionaries, um...

1063. So, uh, I'm not sure if you've seen anything about the,

1064. uh, tribal easements in the area on the news,

1065. but, uh, we're asking all of our—

1066. That's in San Pedro, right?

1067. Yeah, not this property...

1068. It's total bullshit.

1069. All of the tribes need to be paid

1070. for the public use of those roads.

1071. It's like they take everything

1072. and we have to fight for pennies.

1073. My great-grandmother was Apache on my mother's side.

1074. So, it's a personal thing for me.

1075. Hmm.

1076. Have you guys, uh, made any changes?

1077. Oh, please tell me you did not touch the toilets.

1078. Yes!

1079. Oh.

1080. I'm gonna need a few minutes.

1081. Take your time.

1082. So that was... not bad, huh?

1083. Hmm?

1084. You don't think so?

1085. He seemed polite.

1086. It's crazy about his heritage, too, huh?

1087. I just love how much he, like, appreciated the home and,

1088. you know, all the hard work you put into it.

1089. That's, like, really important

1090. and, um...

1091. Is everything okay?

1092. I'm just thinking.

1093. He seemed good though, right?

1094. To sell to?

1095. Sure.

1096. I think he'll really get along with the neighbors, too,

1097. like, his personality seems like...

1098. So, I'll probably contact his broker

1099. in the morning then, I guess.

1100. Great.

1101. Are you sure, babe?

1102. Yeah.

1103. Yay, we sold the home!

1104. Still feeling a little sick?

1105. What are you doing over there?

1106. Just moisturizing.

1107. Maybe I should use some of that tonight.

1108. My hands are dry.

1109. Oh. You got a lot of extra there.

1110. Care to share?

1111. So the, um, app says

1112. you're at peak fertility today.

1113. Hmm.

1114. You sure everything's okay?

1115. You're not upset about selling to Mark, are you?

1116. If I was upset, you would know it.

1117. Okay.

1118. Do you mind if I crack the window open

1119. a little bit?

1120. Whatever you want.

1121. I want what you want.

1122. Okay. I'm just gonna open it a crack.

1123. I love you.

1124. I love you, too.

1125. You're my angel.

1126. You know that, right?