The Curse 1x1

1. Well, first I had one job,

2. then she got diagnosed last year.

3. I then had to get two jobs.

4. I pay for her care and myself at the same time.

5. But now... nothing.

6. A day here, a day there... but no work.

7. No work.

8. I mean, I email my resume, but I don't hear back.

9. And if I do get an interview,

10. walk through the door, they take one look at me...

11. and, yeah.

12. I'm sorry. I...

13. I can't imagine how hard that's been for you.

14. Our hearts go out to you, both, both our hearts.

15. Thank you.

16. How long has it been?

17. That you've been looking for work?

18. It's been about nine months.

19. Jesus.

20. Actually, can we not use me saying "Jesus"?

21. I, I, I don't wanna—

22. I just wanna say a different response.

23. You're good. It's fine.

24. - Uh-huh. - Just keep going.

25. Okay.

26. So, we actually come with some positive news.

27. We shared your story with the owners of Barrier Coffee,

28. which is opening this week,

29. and they have decided to offer you

30. a full-time position.

31. That's amazing. Thank you, guys.

32. Thank you.

33. You're welcome.

34. Happy...

35. Mommy, happy! Your son has a job, right?

36. Yeah.

37. So, and it's such a good job.

38. And you understand, your son, Fernando,

39. he just got a good new job.

40. He's gonna make money. Mucho dinero!

41. - Yeah. - Yes?

42. - Yes, yes, okay. - Yes.

43. He can pay for the cancer.

44. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

45. Yes, okay. Yes.

46. Um, Fernando, can you tell your mom?

47. Because I don't think she, she understands.

48. She looks very upset that you got the job

49. and that doesn't make any sense.

50. It's okay. She's doing great.

51. - You're doing great. - I think she's happy.

52. - It's just how she expresses it. - Yeah.

53. - Yeah. - Um, is it okay

54. if I put some water in her eyes?

55. You wanna put water on her eyes?

56. Yes.

57. Okay. Yes, okay.

58. I'm gonna get fresh water, not yucky.

59. - Okay. - Backwashed stuff, okay? Great.

60. Let's get her straight.

61. It's all right. Yeah.

62. - Hey, man. - Yeah.

63. Yeah, I think she looks happy enough.

64. I know. It's just a little water.

65. Standard stuff, just an option.

66. - She's, she's dying. - I know, sad.

67. You're doing great by the way.

68. Yeah.

69. Yeah. I know. Right now...

70. Okay. So...

71. He just wants that he has the option.

72. - He says it's standard. - Yes, it's cancer.

73. Okay. My aunt had cancer.

74. That's it.

75. Very, very difficult disease. Head back.

76. Very difficult.

77. You know, you had to be very tough and you're a tough woman.

78. There we go, that's great.

79. Great. You know, she was in remission for 10 years.

80. Okay.

81. There you go, just a little bit more, yes.

82. Ten years and then one day,

83. out of nowhere, just bam, it came back like a ton of bricks.

84. Okay. There we go.

85. Just a little more.

86. No, that's enough.

87. - That's enough. - Oh, okay. Okay.

88. - That's enough, Dougie. - Okay.

89. - That's enough. - All right.

90. And then I'm just gonna do a little bit of the menthol

91. because it makes the eyes red.

92. - It looks realistic. - I don't think...

93. - I, I... - I think that's fine.

94. - That's fine. - We're good. I'm done.

95. - Okay. All right. - I'm done.

96. Amazing work, okay?

97. - Great. - Let's just make sure we're—

98. we get this before the water dries, all right?

99. Okay. It's a little TV magic for you.

100. Yay.

101. You're a movie star.

102. Looks like you're crying for real.

103. - Yeah. Estrella de cine. - Yes.

104. It does look like you're crying.

105. Now, wipe away the tears.

106. So happy. Limpiar. Your, your son has the job.

107. Great.

108. And okay now, Fernando, look at your mom,

109. look, look in her eyes and say, "I love you."

110. "I can pay for your treatment now."

111. I can pay for your treatment.

112. So sweet.

113. It's okay.

114. I don't care what standard

115. or how reality shows get made.

116. That was disgusting and disgraceful.

117. I, I know.

118. If he keeps doing shit like that,

119. I'm not making this show anymore, okay?

120. You do not treat people that way.

121. We— we have to trust that he knows what he's doing.

122. HGTV trusts him.

123. We trust HGTV, right?

124. No, we're not HGTV.

125. We don't share those values.

126. Okay. I, I know.

127. It won't be like this anymore.

128. We should figure out how to make this work.

129. Trust me, okay?

130. Yeah, I love my house.

131. - You love it? Good. - Beautiful.

132. - You do? - It's very...

133. It's better than— better than your last place?

134. I miss, still, my last place, but I love this place a lot.

135. - Mm-hmm. - Oh, good.

136. The utmost priority for Asher and I

137. is to take care of our local Española community.

138. So we know that the rent here is a little bit higher

139. than at your last place.

140. And so, we have worked out a deal with Diego,

141. with your landlord,

142. that Asher and I will be using some of our money

143. to subsidize the rent

144. to make sure that you're always covered

145. and you don't need to pay any more

146. than what you used to pay.

147. - Okay. Thank you, guys. - Yeah.

148. Really appreciate it.

149. I'm so happy that I still could live in Española

150. and my rent is still gonna be the same.

151. All right, Elizabeth.

152. Okay. Well, see you, guys.

153. - Oh, we'll see you soon. - See you.

154. All my invisible homes are net-zero structures,

155. meaning the amount of energy used by the home

156. is equal to the amount of energy created on site.

157. Using technology developed

158. right in our backyard in Los Alamos,

159. the reflective glass design is laminated

160. with a photovoltaic profile

161. which captures the reflection of the light

162. and transforms it into energy.

163. And every one of our homes is certified

164. by the Passive House Society in Germany,

165. the gold standard for eco-living.

166. So when we first discovered this property,

167. it was painful how much energy waste there was.

168. We're talking weak insulation.

169. So, during the summer months,

170. you had to blast the A/C all day to keep this place cool.

171. But now, as a passive home, that's not necessary.

172. You're right, Whitney.

173. One of the primary goals is to eliminate thermal bridging,

174. which are areas where heat escapes from the house.

175. Those are your windows, your basements, your attic.

176. What you end up with is a home

177. that's kind of like a Thermos

178. that maintains a consistent and comfortable temperature inside,

179. while the air is kept healthy using heat recovery ventilation.

180. Mm-hmm.

181. And all that without sacrificing design.

182. People say all the time,

183. "But a passive home can't have a fireplace."

184. And there it is.

185. It's fully insulated, so you don't get much heat,

186. but it looks great.

187. Well, the heat's not necessary

188. because the temperature in this place is always just right.

189. And your viewers should be aware

190. you don't need a mirrored exterior to be a passive house.

191. But it is a lovely touch.

192. So I'm watching this, and this shit sucks.

193. All right? It's boring.

194. Really boring.

195. I'm watching a guy talk about air for four minutes.

196. You gotta help me out.

197. You know this stuff's important to us.

198. All right. I'm talking as a friend.

199. All right, we have a chance

200. to make something really, really good,

201. like way beyond HGTV, breakout hit kind of stuff.

202. But it's feeling like an infomercial.

203. So, just work with me a little, like...

204. all right, in the coffee shop, all right?

205. When we get started,

206. just look at Whitney, and just roll your eyes

207. and say, "Ugh, you're being so uptight."

208. And we'll get a camera right on her face

209. getting her reaction.

210. I'm not gonna say that.

211. All right, all right. Hey, wait, wait, wait.

212. Ashman, Ashman, come here.

213. Matched your mom last night.

214. All right. You do your thing, all right?

215. Three, two, one.

216. We couldn't be more proud to be a part of this community.

217. Thank you for welcoming us.

218. Enjoy a free Barrier Coffee on the house.

219. I mean, don't get me wrong.

220. We, we love Santa Fe.

221. We just... we love Española a little better.

222. And to be even a— a small part

223. in bringing much deserved attention to it is,

224. is just... it's magical.

225. And I see I'm not the only one with a camera crew here today.

226. Yes! Yes.

227. We are here filming the pilot episode of our new show,

228. which is kind of about our— our holistic home philosophy

229. on steroids. But good steroids.

230. Um, it— the show is called "Fliplanthropy."

231. And this isn't your typical "home flipping" show

232. where everything's about making a profit.

233. It— it documents Asher and I

234. in our efforts to conscientiously rejuvenate

235. distressed homes in a way that has a net-positive impact

236. on communities as a whole.

237. And we're husband and wife,

238. so what could go wrong?

239. How long have you guys been married?

240. Oh, just a year.

241. "Just"? Does that imply there's still time

242. to change your mind?

243. Well, if you're giving me the option...

244. Although there's a lot of excitement,

245. there seems to be an equal dose of apprehension

246. amongst the locals who I've spoken with.

247. Rent is already increasing as interest grows in the area.

248. So, what would you two say to those in Española

249. who are concerned about gentrification?

250. That's a great and important question, Monica.

251. No one's more concerned about the G-word than us.

252. But we really believe that gentrification

253. doesn't have to be a game of winners and losers.

254. And that's sort of why we're here today.

255. We understand that the price point

256. of carbon-neutral living is still higher

257. than many people can afford,

258. and the influx of eco-conscious buyers

259. can push rent up and displace current residents.

260. But unlike other home developers that you might see on TV,

261. rather than ignoring residents

262. that might be displaced by our actions,

263. we use a portion of each home sale to subsidize local rent.

264. Take for example lifelong resident Fernando Castillo.

265. His mother was facing, uh, eviction

266. because of a rent increase.

267. And not only did we help to keep her housing affordable,

268. but we actually arranged a full-time job for Fernando

269. at the coffee house right behind us.

270. Affordable housing,

271. so would this initiative include any of your parents' buildings?

272. My family has no buildings in Española,

273. and I'm— I'm not affiliated with that company in any way.

274. Exactly, Whitney.

275. These new shops behind me are all eco-friendly brands

276. committed to helping Española thrive.

277. And we couldn't be more excited about this collaboration.

278. Joining the Española Passive Living Office,

279. which we also use to showcase local artists,

280. Barrier Coffee and Iosheka Jeans have all committed

281. to hiring staff exclusively from the Española community.

282. So, while affordability may be decreasing,

283. opportunities are rising.

284. We are trying to offset the negative impacts of change

285. by creating a sustainable ecosystem of sorts,

286. one where there are no losers.

287. Oh, so everybody's a winner here?

288. Everybody's a winner.

289. I just wanna go back to your family, Whitney.

290. Do you think that they're...

291. Why are we going back to her family? She answered that.

292. Let's move on.

293. Yes.

294. - Yeah. - But the Bookends Building

295. has been referred to by residents as "Hell on Earth,"

296. and in fact, in 2020,

297. the Santa Fe reporter called your parents slumlords

298. because of their ruthless approach to evictions.

299. So, I'm just wondering if your holistic approach

300. would extend to that community as well?

301. Our focus is on Española.

302. I see.

303. Have you thought about potentially

304. talking to your parents, though, about how maybe they—

305. We're here to talk about us today, okay?

306. - Ash. - Okay.

307. What do your parents do?

308. Just curious, what do they do?

309. My mom's a nurse and my dad actually abandoned us

310. when I was really young,

311. so I don't know what he's doing right now.

312. I'm so sorry about your father.

313. That must have been very challenging.

314. How would you feel if I asked you,

315. uh, about your father and kept asking more about that?

316. Huh? I'm not going to, but I'm making a point.

317. You're not him, right? You're your own woman.

318. You're smart, you're intelligent,

319. you're beautiful, you're your own woman.

320. And so are we.

321. We're the Siegels.

322. We're not slumlords.

323. So let's talk about us, okay?

324. Look at me when I'm talking to you, okay?

325. Don't look at her.

326. I'm— I'm the one talking,

327. so you should look at me

328. because when you don't look at me,

329. it makes me feel like you're not listening

330. and not registering the things that I'm saying.

331. It's just common courtesy.

332. It's a little rude to do.

333. But, um...

334. we're here to talk—

335. we're just talking and this is great,

336. and we're talking about the community,

337. and we're here for the community today

338. and that's just so exciting and that's what— that's the point.

339. So, let's continue.

340. Mm-hmm.

341. All right. Um...

342. You know, I think we're good.

343. I think we have everything.

344. Thank you guys so much.

345. You can actually go ahead and start taking the mics off.

346. Yeah. Thank you.

347. Oh, thank you so much.

348. Great.

349. Thank you. I got it.

350. Thank you.

351. You're good.

352. Goodbye.

353. That was a sneak attack.

354. She said nothing about your parents

355. when I reached out to her.

356. That was awful.

357. You were so aggressive.

358. We can't— we can't have that air.

359. What do we say?

360. It's like, you tell a reporter not to air something.

361. And that, that becomes the story,

362. that becomes part of...

363. There's, there's nothing on Google that ties me to them,

364. and now this is the first thing that's gonna come up.

365. This is— we have nothing to do with their business.

366. Hi. So, we've got coffee, cookies, and croissants today.

367. You get a free drip coffee with your voucher there

368. and any pour-over is extra, though.

369. Uh, yeah. So that gets you a drip coffee.

370. - Yeah, coffee. - Yeah.

371. Cool.

372. What if we offered her something else?

373. Like what do you mean?

374. Like you're always complaining about the gaming board.

375. Yeah.

376. You know? And maybe this is your chance

377. to do something about it.

378. Like offer her that story as like a trade?

379. Fifteen minutes.

380. Oh, yeah.

381. You know, yeah, you're a star.

382. Oh, yeah.

383. Now, these Australians,

384. they're just here for today, right?

385. Because we promised that we were gonna have all local hires.

386. Yeah, totally. They're a part of our promo team.

387. - Okay. - That's just a branding thing.

388. Phew!

389. Yeah? Okay?

390. Hey, can— can you do the next thing without us?

391. Something came up that we need to take care of.

392. Nope. I need you guys.

393. What's so important?

394. Can we stop by the KOE station on the way?

395. Gonna need more info than that.

396. - Hey... - Whoa, whoa.

397. Hey, I messed up the news interview, okay?

398. I lost my cool. We need to get the story killed.

399. - All right. - I'm serious.

400. I get it. We got to film this.

401. We got to film this. All right?

402. Absolutely not, no.

403. Come on, we're making a show about your life, right?

404. You never know if we wanna use it.

405. Let's just— let's just do it.

406. I do know, and I don't want to, no.

407. All right, fine.

408. Well, I have some information that may be newsworthy.

409. I, uh, I worked for a period of time

410. at the Whistling River Casino,

411. and during my time there,

412. I saw some things.

413. Yeah, no, of course—

414. and you will not see that side of me again.

415. I'm sorry, and I apologize for my behavior.

416. That was completely inappropriate, but— mm-hmm.

417. Subway? Okay.

418. Great.

419. I'll, I'll— we'll be right there—

420. I'll be right there.

421. Thank you, Monica.

422. There it is.

423. No, don't, don't park near her. Go straight.

424. And then make a right here.

425. We'll park at the other side of the lot.

426. Hey, you're nervous. Don't be nervous.

427. Take off your sunglasses.

428. Look at me. Eyes. Eyes.

429. - Not now. - Hey...

430. You don't wanna come in there with me?

431. No, I don't.

432. This is your story.

433. Just be careful what you disclose

434. because we don't wanna do anything to harm the tribe.

435. This is about the Gaming Control Board,

436. - not the Pueblo, right? - Mm-hmm.

437. So make sure she knows that, the casino is sacred.

438. You're a good person.

439. You got this.

440. You give me the strength to do anything.

441. Go. Go.

442. All right. I'm gonna go in.

443. What, what, what, what are you doing?

444. Relax. We're just getting B-roll, you know,

445. I'm not gonna lose the whole day over this.

446. God forbid I film your life

447. for a show about your life, right?

448. - Just kidding. - Mm-hmm.

449. This one's off limits.

450. Got it.

451. - Hey. - Hey, I need ten minutes, okay?

452. - Ten minutes? Okay. - Yeah.

453. Mm-hmm.

454. Mm-hmm.

455. Right, you have to... Oh, sorry, one second.

456. - How did it go? - She needs ten minutes.

457. Okay.

458. Yo, Ashman.

459. Come here.

460. Um, let's grab a quick shot of you,

461. um, giving money to that little girl over there.

462. Why?

463. It'd be good, you know?

464. Showing you giving back to the community—

465. charitable stuff, all right?

466. Jose, quick. Make sure his mic's on.

467. Just, like, go hand her money?

468. - Yeah. No. - Isn't that weird?

469. Just buy whatever the fuck she's selling. It'll be fine.

470. Do it quick, all right? Make it look natural.

471. Sprite mini, two dollars. It's hot out.

472. Go.

473. Jose, don't cut that sound, all right?

474. I wanna make sure we're rolling

475. when he's with the news lady, all right?

476. Hey, there. Hi.

477. Here's a little something just for being you.

478. Thank you.

479. Okay.

480. Would you like a Sprite mini?

481. No, no, that's okay.

482. Hani, Hani! I got a hundred!

483. - Hani! - Good. Got it!

484. Hani! I got a hundred dollars.

485. - Hani! - Hey. Hey.

486. So, we were just shooting, uh, a little TV show over there.

487. And we were just getting a shot.

488. You're a little movie star!

489. Um, but that hundred-dollar bill was all I had.

490. So, how about you give it back to me and I'll go get change

491. and I'll buy that whole six-pack from you for $20.

492. - What do you say? - She's not giving back to you.

493. You gave her the money. It's a done deal.

494. Oh, come on, that's not fair.

495. I'm gonna buy the whole six-pack.

496. It's fair. You— we do no refunds.

497. - I'm gonna buy the whole six... - There's a sign.

498. Is that your dad? Can you tell them?

499. I'm gonna buy a whole six-pack.

500. Can you tell them?

501. I'm gonna buy a whole— the whole six-pack here.

502. - Here. - Give it back to her.

503. It's okay. It's okay. I...

504. You can't do that, or I'll curse you!

505. You'll what?

506. I curse you.

507. Okay. Okay.

508. I'm gonna go get change, okay? So I'll be right back.

509. Just stay here. I'm getting change!

510. Nala!

511. Hey. Do you have a twenty on you or anything?

512. I don't carry cash.

513. Shit.

514. Hey, wait! Wait, wait.

515. Hold on one sec.

516. Wait, wait. Hold on. One sec.

517. I'm just gonna go in that store,

518. and I'm gonna get $20 cash, okay?

519. Well, just— wait, wait, wait. One sec.

520. I'm gonna get— I'm just gonna get cash, okay? Will you wait?

521. Okay.

522. You'll wait? Okay. Thank you.

523. Thank you. I'll be right back.

524. - May I help you? - Hi.

525. Would I be able to get change for a hundred?

526. I'm sorry, we don't accept hundreds.

527. If I buy one of those candy things or something?

528. Not even, but there is an ATM right there.

529. Okay. Okay. Thanks.

530. You gotta shove it.

531. Like the machine? The keypad is not working.

532. There is a trick to that.

533. - Yeah. - There's a trick.

534. What's your PIN?

535. You're going to do it or...

536. - Yeah. There's a trick. - Are you showing the trick?

537. It'll take me two seconds. What's your PIN?

538. Um, well, just show me the trick and I can just— yeah.

539. I— all I need is your PIN, and it'll take me two seconds.

540. - It's like really hard to use. - Yeah, yeah.

541. So, what do— so, what do I do? I shove the machine?

542. You gotta...

543. You have to shake it and then press.

544. Shake it then press? Okay.

545. - It's hard. - Like that?

546. For real, bro.

547. It won't take but a second.

548. Um, yeah, I mean, if you show me how to, um...

549. You think we need your money or what?

550. No. Um...

551. It's, um, 5181.

552. I use them all the time.

553. Twenty or forty?

554. Um, 20. Uh, 40 actually, 40.

555. - There you go. - Thank you.

556. Just pulled a whole hundred out.

557. I mean, it's tough working there sometimes.

558. Mmm.

559. All these gambling addicts coming in, it's really sad.

560. And you think there are these rules in place to help them.

561. But are those rules actually being enforced

562. by the Gaming Control Board?

563. That's honestly why I decided to stop working in that business.

564. This is all the stuff I could only talk about off the record,

565. obviously.

566. But what I know...

567. what I've seen has national implications.

568. I mean, if you have a story that you would like to share,

569. I'd love to hear about it.

570. It' just...

571. I'm taking a big risk to do that.

572. And if I'm gonna take that risk,

573. I just need to be sure that our reputation

574. with what we do in Española isn't gonna be sullied.

575. We're very committed to this community.

576. Well, I happen to know Barrier Coffee

577. is a paid sponsor of your show,

578. and it has only signed a six-month lease.

579. So, it's not really saying

580. "commitment to the community" to me.

581. Why are you doing this? We're not the enemy.

582. No one is committed to this community.

583. Have you seen this place?

584. Have you driven around? Take a loop, honestly.

585. We're also giving those businesses free rent

586. so this place has a fighting chance.

587. Monica, these are new jobs for locals.

588. So, you're telling me everybody working in that coffee shop

589. is from Española?

590. You don't understand what you have right now.

591. This is big, what I'm giving you.

592. I know you want a story.

593. Why are you worrying yourself with this shit?

594. This is a national story you could have.

595. This is a career-maker story, okay?

596. And I'm handing it to you on a silver platter.

597. And you wanna air this shit with us?

598. Who cares about us? We're nothing.

599. This is huge.

600. Do you wanna be on the anchor desk

601. or do you wanna keep driving around with a van

602. with that fat guy? I'm serious.

603. We're doing good here. We are good people.

604. We are really good. I swear to fucking God.

605. We're really good.

606. Okay. So let's keep walking.

607. We're casually talking and walking, you know.

608. Laugh. I just told you a really funny joke, right?

609. And, um, anything— any signal? No? No? Okay.

610. Keep going closer. All right. So— it's so funny, right?

611. Still signal nothing? No? Then all right. Keep going.

612. Keep— a little closer.

613. A little closer but don't forget it.

614. Keep talking like—

615. it's so funny, right? Nothing, right? No signal? Okay.

616. Okay. This, this fucking woman, huh? Just goddammit.

617. Nothing? All right. We're good.

618. No. This number is no longer associated with that address.

619. I-I've never lived there.

620. Yes, I'll hold.

621. Tuesday is gonna be the latest that I could hold the story.

622. - Okay. - So, we're gonna need something,

623. you know, concrete, verifiable, video, documents.

624. At that point then, we may have a path forward.

625. - Tuesday? - Yep.

626. - Tuesday it is. - Okay. Yeah.

627. I also just wanna say that I— my intention is not to hurt

628. the, the casino in any way.

629. This has nothing to do with the Pueblos.

630. Mm-hmm.

631. I, I, I just wanna help improve some of these practices,

632. and sometimes the best way to do that

633. is by shining a light onto it.

634. No. You don't have to convince me.

635. That's why I got into this business.

636. Yeah. I just want this to be constructive.

637. - That way, there are no losers. - Yeah. No losers. Got it.

638. Representative.

639. Should we ask her if she can still air

640. the good parts of the interview?

641. I'm kidding. Your face.

642. - Representative. - Who are you calling?

643. My bank because I'm just gonna change my PIN.

644. Oh, it didn't come through. Okay.

645. This wasn't pregnancy-fat. This was fat-fat.

646. She was in one of those carts, Whit.

647. You know, the fat people, they can't walk.

648. - Enough. Enough. - Hey, Whit.

649. You got one of those little fabric hats for me?

650. - Oh, yes, I do. Mm-hmm. - Do I get a costume, too?

651. No. This is just for Dad.

652. Hey. Why does the city keep calling me

653. and saying my phone number is associated

654. with units in Bookends?

655. I, I don't have to wear it if you don't want me to.

656. You would not believe how fat she was.

657. It was devastating, I'm not kidding.

658. Lizzy, maybe we dial it back with the body shaming, huh?

659. What does that mean?

660. Oh, my God. That is not funny.

661. - It's pretty funny. - It's, it's, it's not.

662. - Amen. - Amen.

663. Okay. So, why do you do the candles?

664. Oh, um, well, we do them because...

665. Whitney wants to do them.

666. Well, it's, it's a little early today,

667. but typically, you, you do light the candles

668. before the sun goes down

669. because the Torah forbids lighting a fire after dark.

670. So, really, you light the candles,

671. and then you're able to see your dinner.

672. It's only practical.

673. Is that the reason?

674. That's what he told us in the class. Yeah.

675. Oh, I didn't know that.

676. Amen.

677. Amen.

678. Just, uh— you just set them right here.

679. I have got a treat for you.

680. Oh, look at this. Homegrown.

681. Try one. They're amazing.

682. Okay.

683. They're beautiful, huh? I'll tell you what I do.

684. I put a, a little small fish in the soil.

685. Hmm.

686. Just a touch of urine, human urine.

687. - You're kidding, right? - No, I'm not kidding.

688. Relax. It's not like I'm pissing on the tomatoes.

689. - I just— it's on the soil. - And it helps?

690. - Yeah, it helps. - Hmm.

691. I understand that you,

692. you guys are thinking about snapping up more properties,

693. and I thought you were fully leveraged.

694. It's the right move.

695. The, the numbers don't matter anymore.

696. We have— we have the show.

697. You might wanna think about building on sales

698. from your initial profits.

699. That's how we started. What do I know?

700. No, no, no. I, I, I— that's definitely the plan.

701. It's just, you know, to do the homes to Whit's standards,

702. there, there aren't really any profits from the homes.

703. We really need the land value to rise.

704. So, we're snapping up as many plots as possible.

705. Because I mean, HGTV has a massive audience.

706. And so, you know, we're pumping Española like crazy.

707. It's gonna be the neighborhood no one saw coming, 'cause we...

708. - Okay. - ... invented it. Yeah.

709. You better hope the show pans out, huh?

710. Hey! There he is! Check this out.

711. Hey. Speak. Say "I love you."

712. That a boy.

713. He's good. He's good.

714. And he's never done that before.

715. Really?

716. - No, just kidding. - Okay.

717. Would you like to see where the magic happens? Follow me.

718. Asher, people are a lot like tomatoes.

719. You got your big old beefsteaks over here...

720. - like, you just had. - Uh-huh.

721. And you got your little tiny cherries.

722. They're very different,

723. but once you slice up a cherry and you put it in a sandwich,

724. it tastes great.

725. Okay.

726. Once you put it between the bread, it's all the same.

727. - Sure, yeah. - Yeah.

728. Here, you wanna try one?

729. - Yeah, please. - Let me see. Let me see.

730. Where is the little beauty?

731. Yeah.

732. Right. Wow.

733. - So just fish and urine, huh? - Yeah.

734. Now, if you don't mind, they're due and so am I.

735. Yeah.

736. Asher, I just—

737. I want you to know that I, uh,

738. understand what you're going through with my daughter.

739. - I, I'm not sure... - Yeah.

740. I, I don't— I don't know what you mean.

741. Lizzy and I, we dealt with it, and I got over it.

742. And look at me now. I got a lovely family.

743. You don't think I had some issues, though? Yeah, I did.

744. I did, but who wants to live with that? Be humiliated.

745. Embrace it. Tell you what you do.

746. You just— you say it once.

747. You say it to a, a complete stranger,

748. "Hello. I've got a small penis."

749. You think they're gonna laugh at you,

750. but you know what, they're gonna laugh with you.

751. Because life's a fucking joke. You know what I'm saying?

752. I— Yeah, I'm, I'm not sure I have the, uh,

753. the issue you're...

754. - Asher... - ... referring to.

755. break the illusion in your mind.

756. "Hey, I'm the guy with the small dick."

757. I tell all my friends. They know.

758. My old man, he— fuck him—

759. a very, very small one.

760. And he, he never shared that with anyone.

761. Not even me.

762. And I can tell you, he was, uh, very sad in his final years.

763. I'm sorry.

764. Obviously, we're a very open family,

765. and you're a part of it now,

766. and Whitney is 35 years old.

767. And goddamn it, this is just such

768. a fucking awkward conversation to have,

769. but I know— I know Whitney.

770. And I can tell you 100%, she has no issue with your size.

771. Yeah, yeah, and, and I, I can— I talk—

772. I can talk with her about this stuff.

773. - We talk— yeah. - Asher.

774. - Ash. - Mm-hmm.

775. I've loaned you, like, a million bucks.

776. Look at what I'm working with here.

777. - Uh, thank you. - All right.

778. Look, obviously, I know that you two,

779. you talk about this kind of stuff,

780. but I just wanna say that for guys like us,

781. once you— once you find someone,

782. you find a special person who doesn't care...

783. - Hmm. - ... like Whitney...

784. be the clown.

785. It's the most liberating thing in the world.

786. It's like fucking with a 10-inch cock.

787. All right. Thank you.

788. Look at us.

789. We're the cherry tomato boys.

790. - Okay. - Uh-huh?

791. - Yeah. Okay. Okay. - Come on.

792. I mentioned it to my mom

793. when we first started dating, and that's it.

794. That is the only time I mentioned it.

795. Did you tell her it's not a big deal

796. and that we joke about it?

797. Because Paul seemed to think

798. it's something I'm insecure about.

799. No. I don't talk to my dad about that stuff.

800. I don't know where he could've gotten that idea, then.

801. They brought up us having kids,

802. and I said it's not an urgent priority right now.

803. And so, he maybe thought

804. that's why we're not having sex that much.

805. - I have no clue. - You told him

806. we're not having sex?

807. - I said... - What are you sharing

808. with these people?

809. I said that we are not trying to have kids at this moment.

810. That's what I said.

811. Hmm, it's interesting

812. that he thinks it's me who's putting on the brakes.

813. What do you want me to say?

814. In case you're wondering,

815. your dad's dick is way smaller than mine.

816. I thought you two were the cherry tomato boys.

817. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

818. Yeah? You want a cherry tomato? Open up.

819. Open wide, huh? Separate those teeth.

820. - You want it? - Put it away from me.

821. - Yeah. Come on. You want it. - Stop it.

822. Open your teeth and eat it. Open it.

823. I'm full.

824. You're gonna get a cherry tomato! You want...

825. Oh, my goodness. Be careful. Be careful.

826. Okay.

827. You better get excited for, uh, temple Thai coconut curry.

828. They forgot the chicken in the chicken penne.

829. I'm gonna call for a refund, this is ridiculous.

830. What?

831. What?

832. - What? - What?

833. Why are you looking at me like that?

834. I'm not looking at you like anything.

835. Put the rest of the food away.

836. And then we can fuck?

837. Steven.

838. Steven, can I join too?

839. He says not yet.

840. Can you ask Steven if I can watch?

841. He says— he says that you can listen,

842. but he doesn't wanna see your face.

843. Okay. I'm looking away. Tell him I'm looking away.

844. Okay. Okay.

845. Steven says it's your turn.

846. I wanna— I wanna watch you finish with him.

847. Oh, Steven.

848. Oh, Steven, Steven.

849. Hi, Vic.

850. We had given Vic the keys to his new passive house.

851. And this is some pottery made by artists

852. from the San Petro Pueblo.

853. Oh, thanks. Thank you so much.

854. You're welcome.

855. But we knew he couldn't truly be an Españolan

856. without an introduction to community leader

857. Father Manny.

858. We have our outreach program

859. designed to tackle poverty in the area,

860. and we're always looking for volunteers.

861. Yeah, yeah. It's cool.

862. A lot of stuff going on.

863. You seem uncomfortable.

864. Uh, I'm an atheist, that's all.

865. Where do you derive your meaning from? Your purpose?

866. Right here, pause it— pause it— pause it.

867. Look at how uncomfortable he is.

868. It's the perfect moment if you just give some voiceover,

869. like Vic wasn't ready to be converted today.

870. Well, I prefer not to get into religion.

871. But you put a fucking priest in the show.

872. Vic's talking to a priest, you know.

873. Yeah, but his community work is secular.

874. Oh, we definitely can't use the Australians.

875. They're not local hires.

876. Give me a fucking break, please.

877. - Dougie, Jesus Christ. - Jesus Christ.

878. You can't just sit here and say,

879. this is the show or this isn't the show.

880. You can't do that, all right?

881. There's a reason there isn't a network executive

882. hounding over us...

883. - Relax, Dougie, okay? - ... the entire time.

884. Goddammit, man. They believe in me.

885. They trust me.

886. Hey, we trust you too, Dougie. We really do.

887. - We really do. - Okay.

888. These are just a couple small requests, you know what I mean?

889. - We're pointing out... - Yeah.

890. some things that are very important.

891. - I mean, these aren't locals. - Look, guys.

892. - That would be dishonest. - I'm gonna prove to you that

893. I know what the fuck I'm doing, all right?

894. Here's a show, here's a show that I made,

895. and it's very similar to what we're trying to do here...

896. - Okay. - All right?

897. It's doing good for somebody,

898. but also being entertaining and funny.

899. The two things don't have to go and cancel each other out.

900. Most people say that real beauty is on the inside,

901. but do they actually believe it?

902. This show puts that claim to the test as 15 single women

903. vie for the heart of one man

904. whose face will be concealed the entire time.

905. I can tell you right now, he will fall in love,

906. and one of these women will fall for him too.

907. I'm really falling for you.

908. Only once the couple are legally wed

909. in an official ceremony

910. will she see his face for the first time.

911. The women were told he could be anybody,

912. a celebrity, tycoon, a prince perhaps.

913. But in reality,

914. he is the survivor of a horrific apartment fire.

915. Will these women stand by their belief

916. that beauty is on the inside...

917. Or will his physical appearance be too much to handle?

918. I'm your host, Dan Cortez.

919. Join me for this once- in-a-lifetime chance at love

920. for a man who desperately

921. doesn't wanna be taken at face value.

922. Find out what happens this season

923. on Love To The Third Degree.

924. See? This is what I'm talking about.

925. It's, it's a show about a guy

926. who was dealt a hard hand, all right?

927. And now he's got 15 women

928. throwing themselves at him, right?

929. We gave him a new chance at life,

930. kind of like you guys and Fernando.

931. This is not at all similar.

932. It's like playing a prank on a burn victim.

933. How could it be pranking him if he's in on the joke?

934. The guy thought it was hilarious.

935. Did— did you know about this?

936. No, I've only seen the HGTV stuff he's done,

937. the same stuff you have seen.

938. - Who's seen this show? - Nobody has seen it.

939. - I— it didn't get picked up. - This is...

940. I was trying something new. That's it.

941. - Listen. Hey. - Uh... then this is...

942. - ... this is your taste? - This is not my taste.

943. - This is your taste. - No, no, no. What?

944. - Listen. - You vouched for him.

945. Dougie, Dougie, we have a reputation in this community.

946. I get it.

947. This show has to reflect our values.

948. Whitney has a lot of followers...

949. - Yeah, I get it. - ... okay?

950. The show needs to reflect who we are.

951. - Whitney. - Mm-hmm.

952. This, I was having a little fun with Third Degree.

953. Yes, I admit it. This is different.

954. Our show's different. It's feel-good.

955. You know, it's, it's helping the community.

956. It's immune to criticism, so why not have some fun too?

957. What is that?

958. That's nothing.

959. - Asher in the parking lot? - It's nothing.

960. What?

961. I was getting a quick shot of Asher

962. doing some good— charity work in the community.

963. That's it. See?

964. You promised me that you weren't filming any of this.

965. So, I would like to see it, please. Play it all.

966. All of it. I wanna see every second of this.

967. You can play it. It was just a quick shot.

968. This is your promise, Dougie.

969. Hey there. Hi.

970. Look at her, she's great.

971. Here's a little something just for being you.

972. How much is that?

973. A hundred.

974. No, no, that's okay.

975. That's the end of it.

976. You can— you can stop playing.

977. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

978. Well, we don't need to see it anymore. That's the end.

979. Doug— no, Dougie broke a promise to me.

980. I wanna see all of it.

981. What do you need to see? That was what we shot.

982. - I wanna see all of it. - All of what?

983. - I'm watching all of it, Ash. - That was what we shot.

984. Why is it still recording? I don't even understand.

985. I told Remy very clearly, stop recording.

986. - I told Jose... - Okay.

987. We don't need to see this. This stuff's useless.

988. Whit. You don't need to see this.

989. I'm watching it.

990. - Is this for abs? - Yeah.

991. This is a waste of time to watch this.

992. This is— this is a waste of time.

993. - You know what? I don't care. - We should be doing other stuff.

994. - This is what I want. - The whole six-pack here.

995. - It's a waste of time. - Give it back to me.

996. - It's okay. - We don't need to see this.

997. This is...

998. I curse you.

999. - What did she say? - Okay. Okay.

1000. She said she cursed me.

1001. But why, why did you snatch the money away from her?

1002. Why didn't you just give her the hundred?

1003. It was just for the shot.

1004. That's the end of the clip.

1005. That was— she was selling those for $2 each.

1006. I was— I was gonna buy six of them for $20.

1007. So you, you went back and you gave her $20?

1008. I tried. I took the money out,

1009. but she was gone when I got back.

1010. Oh, my God.

1011. Now, we have this hanging over us.

1012. What?

1013. Look what you did, what she said.

1014. "I curse you"? Oh, come on, Whit.

1015. What? You, you think you can just do whatever you want,

1016. there's not gonna be consequences?

1017. She's a little kid.

1018. "I curse you"? Come on, you're not a moron.

1019. Hey.

1020. Fucked up.

1021. What if— what if I believed in anything?

1022. You're gonna call me a moron after your friend?

1023. - Of course— of course not. - This is so...

1024. - No, no. - Oh, God.

1025. Baby, baby, baby, baby, come on. What do I need to do?

1026. - You know what you need to do. - Okay.

1027. I just— I, uh, I do— I do know.

1028. You just tell me what I need to do, okay?

1029. Go find her.

1030. Go find her and give her the money,

1031. the full hundred dollars.

1032. - Go now. - Absolutely, yes.

1033. Okay.

1034. Yeah.

1035. She, she might not be there right now.

1036. Well, search for her...

1037. - Of course. I will. - ... Ash.

1038. - Yes, I'll look for her. - Find her.

1039. Uh, I just, um— it was just the noodles.

1040. Sorry. It was a noodle meal?

1041. It was a chicken penne, but it came without chicken.

1042. So you were delivered the pasta?

1043. So I'd like a—

1044. I'd like a refund for the meal because it came incomplete.

1045. But we did deliver the penne.

1046. I know. Uh, it was a chicken penne,

1047. and it came without chicken.

1048. Hi. I'm, uh, looking for someone.

1049. We're actually closed tonight, but if you wanna leave a note,

1050. I could pass along the message.

1051. - Sure. Yeah. - Come on in.

1052. Do you know if, uh, a, a man

1053. with, um, uh, two young girls is staying here?

1054. Well, honestly, I can't really share any client information

1055. just due to our privacy policy.

1056. But if you can describe who you're looking for,

1057. I can pass along the message

1058. to anyone who fits that description.

1059. Okay. Um, yeah, it's a— it's a father,

1060. I think, um, 40-ish, um,

1061. two young girls, elementary school age.

1062. - Black, I think. - Okay.

1063. And then, uh, your name?

1064. - Asher Siegel. - Asher Siegel.

1065. Why are all the beds empty?

1066. Uh, funding, unfortunately,

1067. we currently only have funding to stay open

1068. three nights a week, so...

1069. - Oh. - ... we can always use donations.

1070. Okay. Thank you.

1071. The people here are so real,

1072. and their vibrancy and resilience is infectious.

1073. That's why we're proud to call Española my home.

1074. It's— oh, shit.

1075. Our home.

1076. You're all right. You got it.

1077. - You're okay. - Oh, God.

1078. I'm sorry. I, I just— I'm not concentrating.

1079. I just feel like the energy in here is all off.

1080. - It's just... - I know.

1081. - Oh, God. - Asher, right?

1082. It's really messed up, what he did.

1083. Right?

1084. Whit?

1085. It's messed up, right?

1086. Um...

1087. Maybe not, though.

1088. Look, I always thought Asher

1089. was gonna be like a day trader or something,

1090. you know, 'cause he's so analytical.

1091. I mean, you know Data from Star Trek?

1092. You, you do? The, the robot with the white makeup on...

1093. - Yeah. - ... the nerdy guy?

1094. Everybody at camp, we always used to joke that Asher was him,

1095. but, uh, I don't know.

1096. This, this thing that you're doing right now,

1097. it's, it's, it's really good.

1098. You know, you're really helping people and saving lives.

1099. And, uh, I never thought Asher

1100. would ever be a part of something like this.

1101. It requires so much empathy on his part.

1102. It's funny when, uh, when Asher asked me

1103. to come down from New York to help him out with this.

1104. I was like, "There's no way this is gonna work", you know?

1105. But then, uh, then I met you, and I was like,

1106. not only is this gonna work, it's gonna be a hit.

1107. When you enter the room, everything gets brighter.

1108. When you look into that camera, everything lights up.

1109. And I think people, when they watch this,

1110. people are really gonna be dreaming about being with you.

1111. Trust me, swear to God.

1112. Let's try another one.

1113. - Okay. - Let's do it.

1114. Ooh.

1115. - Who is it? - It's me.

1116. - Ash? - Incher. My man.

1117. - Hey. - What's going on, man?

1118. - You're good? Cool. - Yeah.

1119. - Excuse me. - Yeah.

1120. I'm sorry. Just one second.

1121. Did you find her? Did you find her.

1122. Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1123. - She was happy. - Yeah.

1124. - So you gave her the money? - Yeah.

1125. And did she seem like— was she...

1126. - Yeah, yeah. - ... satisfied?

1127. She said that, uh— she said there's no curse.

1128. - Really? - Yeah.

1129. I wanna know exactly what she said.

1130. Tell me exactly what she said.

1131. Where was she living? Who was she living with?

1132. I wanna know what everyone said.

1133. I talked to someone at Pathways,

1134. and they said she's actually, that her—

1135. their family's living in one of the, the buildings

1136. across the street.

1137. - They're... - The transitional housing?

1138. - Yeah, exactly. - Okay.

1139. So it turns out they're not homeless, which is a good thing.

1140. - Unhoused. - Unhoused, sorry.

1141. And so I went over there and I looked at the buzzer.

1142. - Yeah. - And I was looking at it,

1143. and they happened to walk in at that exact moment.

1144. And so I said, "Hey, you know, you remember me?"

1145. - Yeah. - And they said, "Yeah, yeah... "

1146. - Okay. - And then I, you know,

1147. - gave her the hundred dollars. - Yeah.

1148. And then they said thank you.

1149. And they, they invited me up for dinner,

1150. but I said no 'cause I had to come back here.

1151. - Mmm. - And, um, then I said,

1152. you know, is the curse gone?

1153. And she said yeah.

1154. - So, yeah. - And then you left?

1155. Yeah. And then we hugged and then— and then I left.

1156. Thank God.

1157. - Okay. - Good. Yeah.

1158. - It's good. - Okay.

1159. Who is it?

1160. Just kidding. You guys good?

1161. - Yeah. - I'm, uh, I'm ready.

1162. - All right. - Yeah.

1163. I'm good.

1164. Whenever you're ready.

1165. There's no such thing as a perfect city,

1166. but to me, this city is as close as it comes.

1167. The people here are so real,

1168. and their vibrancy and resilience is infectious.

1169. That's why we're proud to call Española our home,

1170. voted the cleanest air in the country in 2012

1171. with the Rio Grande flowing right through our downtown.

1172. I can't think of a better place

1173. to begin our passive house revolution,

1174. saving the earth one kilowatt at a time.

1175. Let's just— let's just do it again right away.

1176. - I can do it better. - All right.

1177. Okay.

1178. There's no such thing as a perfect city, but to me...