1. Rallo, are you done with the internet?Copy !req
2. Because I need to find some dataCopy !req
3. about building a rocket
for the school science fair,Copy !req
4. because they're having
a science fair at school,Copy !req
5. and I want to build a rocket for it.Copy !req
6. Take a knee, Chubs. I'm wrapping it up.Copy !req
7. You'd be amazed
how many people on the internetCopy !req
8. want to meet a five-year-old boy.Copy !req
9. Move it, Heavy C.
This ain't the microwave.Copy !req
10. I need to update my Facebook pageCopy !req
11. with these slammin' pictures
of me in my new bikini.Copy !req
12. Facebook is a joke.Copy !req
13. You know who is my friend on Facebook?Copy !req
14. Margaret Cho.Copy !req
15. A woman I have not met,
nor wish to ever meet,Copy !req
16. is somehow a friend of mine.Copy !req
17. Puh-lease!Copy !req
18. I also don't need
your stupid status updates.Copy !req
19. Ooh, Betsy Sherman is excited
to watch Heroes.Copy !req
20. Go suck an egg, Betsy!Copy !req
21. You know what? I need to Twitter that.Copy !req
22. "Go suck an egg, Betsy."Copy !req
23. Guys, notice anything different?Copy !req
24. - No.
- Put your finger in my nose.Copy !req
25. Okay.Copy !req
26. Mm. Smooth.Copy !req
27. Yeah, you bet it is,
thanks to the Nasalaser.Copy !req
28. Laser-guided system
burns follicles at the root.Copy !req
29. Same one Joe Buck uses.Copy !req
30. That's a clever invention.Copy !req
31. I got the inventor bug myself.Copy !req
32. Among other bugs. And crabs.Copy !req
33. What kind of stuff you invent, Lester?Copy !req
34. Well, I got something
called the Buddy Beer.Copy !req
35. Give me a sec.Copy !req
36. You know, I never leave home
without the prototype.Copy !req
37. It's a beer bottle with two necks,Copy !req
38. so if you're short on cash,
you and a buddy can share it.Copy !req
39. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
40. We should invent something!Copy !req
41. I've always wanted to be an inventor.Copy !req
42. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
43. what if I told you, you could have
a cracker that's also a phone?Copy !req
44. Boom. The i-Ritz.Copy !req
45. I just made a call on a cracker!Copy !req
46. I just ate a phone!Copy !req
47. That's stupid!Copy !req
48. You're stupid!Copy !req
49. I-I got a couple of ideas,
uh, rattling around the old noodle.Copy !req
50. Hell, I got notebooks of ideas.Copy !req
51. And song lyrics.Copy !req
52. That's the spirit!Copy !req
53. Let's everybody come up with an invention,Copy !req
54. and we'll meet back here tomorrow night.Copy !req
55. All right!Copy !req
56. Don't look. It's Margaret Cho.Copy !req
57. Cleveland?Copy !req
58. Damn.Copy !req
59. Mm. Better get my wood to woodshop.Copy !req
60. I'm making you a mad large key
to hang all your other keys on.Copy !req
61. This is real, yo.Copy !req
62. Roberta, the bell has rang.Copy !req
63. Rung. Rang?Copy !req
64. The bell has rang.Copy !req
65. The bell has rung. Hm.Copy !req
66. The bell went...
and you're going to be late for class.Copy !req
67. I'm sorry, I just need one minute
to make sure I look good.Copy !req
68. Do you think I look good, Mr. Armstrong?Copy !req
69. Kiss me.Copy !req
70. You didn't hear that. Hear what?Copy !req
71. Nothing to hear. Okay.Copy !req
72. They'll never find me up here.Copy !req
73. You're tardy, Ms. Tubbs.Copy !req
74. I'm sorry, Mr. Elmore.Copy !req
75. I was taking a long, soapy shower
after PE and—Copy !req
76. Ouch!Copy !req
77. Who are you?Copy !req
78. I'm Ms. Eck, Mr. Elmore's replacement,Copy !req
79. and I do not tolerate tardiness,
Ms. Tubbs.Copy !req
80. A C-minus?Copy !req
81. If you have a problem with your grade,
you can see me after class.Copy !req
82. Now, please take your seat.Copy !req
83. Ignore that.Copy !req
84. I have seen this before, you know.Copy !req
85. Pretty girl, coasting by on her looks,Copy !req
86. taking life for granted
because everything is handed to her.Copy !req
87. I get things handed to meCopy !req
88. because I'm smart,
and funny, and talented.Copy !req
89. Yes, my body is re-donk-a-donk-ulous,Copy !req
90. but I'm also very likable.Copy !req
91. I'm like a black Halle Berry.Copy !req
92. Sit down.Copy !req
93. I want to show you something.Copy !req
94. This is Pam Anderson in 1997.Copy !req
95. This is her today.Copy !req
96. Kirsten Dunst, June 10th, 2004.Copy !req
97. This is her four days later.Copy !req
98. Meg Ryan, 1989.Copy !req
99. And now.Copy !req
100. Oh, my God! Turn it off!Copy !req
101. You know, I myself used to be doable.Copy !req
102. Well, what happened?Copy !req
103. I turned 30.Copy !req
104. I'll make a deal with you.Copy !req
105. If you can prove that your life would be
just as easy if you were unattractive,Copy !req
106. then I'll raise this C to an A.Copy !req
107. It's the only way you can proveCopy !req
108. that you can succeed based on who you are
on the inside. Deal?Copy !req
109. Deal.Copy !req
110. But how am I supposed to make this ugly?Copy !req
111. A fat suit?Copy !req
112. Just like Tyra Banks.Copy !req
113. Hollywood costume shop. High quality.Copy !req
114. Look at this fupa.Copy !req
115. Look at this poopa.Copy !req
116. Fupa. Poopa.Copy !req
117. Ah, what a good time.Copy !req
118. Okay, my invention is magnetic fly jeans.Copy !req
119. Easy to get off and on,Copy !req
120. and if you're bear-hairy down there,
like I am,Copy !req
121. t-there's no more worrying
about the zipper jaws of death.Copy !req
122. Don't need it. Shaved. And waxed.Copy !req
123. I got a chicken wing glove.Copy !req
124. It's got razor blades on the fingers
to pull the meat off the bones,Copy !req
125. wet naps on the pinky,Copy !req
126. and the thumb's a blue cheese dispenser.Copy !req
127. thing.Copy !req
128. Okay, I got a gum reflavorizor.Copy !req
129. You put new flavor in your gum
with a syringe thing.Copy !req
130. It's like Netflix, but with shirts.Copy !req
131. And a fart amplification device,
which is self-explanatory.Copy !req
132. What'd you come up with, Terry, hm?Copy !req
133. Aw, nothing, man.
Nah, I forgot we were even doing this.Copy !req
134. Holt, slide me
one of those beers, will you?Copy !req
135. Thank you.Copy !req
136. Hey, that's what someone should invent,Copy !req
137. a device where you can slide
a beer to someone.Copy !req
138. How handy would that be?Copy !req
139. Bars all over the world would buy that.Copy !req
140. A coaster that rolls.Copy !req
141. The Roller Coaster.Copy !req
142. Gentlemen, I think we just invented
an invention.Copy !req
143. Yeah!Copy !req
144. Oh, what—? What do I do?Copy !req
145. I think you're supposed to put it
in your rectumCopy !req
146. to maintain its body temperature
till you get to the hospital.Copy !req
147. Right, right, right. I knew that.
Thanks, bro.Copy !req
148. Fug alert, yo!Copy !req
149. Hi, I'm Tyra. I'm new here.Copy !req
150. Can you show me around the school?Copy !req
151. Step off, beast!Copy !req
152. I already got a shawty,
and she got mad ass, yo.Copy !req
153. Mad ass!Copy !req
154. Is-is that the only reason you like her,
because she's hot?Copy !req
155. She's smart and-and funny, too, right?Copy !req
156. What's party
with all these questions, Buggawoof?Copy !req
157. It don't matter if she smart or funny,Copy !req
158. so long as I'm peepin'
dat sweet apple bottomCopy !req
159. and fine set of breasteses.Copy !req
160. Know what I'm sayin', Omega Mu?Copy !req
161. Excuse me, I know you're new here,
but that's no excuse for tardiness.Copy !req
162. I'm sorry, I just needed one minute
to make sure I look good.Copy !req
163. Do you think I look good?Copy !req
164. Oh!Copy !req
165. Oh, wonderful.
My antidepressants are in there.Copy !req
166. Five bucks a pop.Copy !req
167. Go get me a glass of water, fatty.Copy !req
168. Gentlemen, I present to you the—Copy !req
169. - Peek-a-boo!
- Rallo?Copy !req
170. Where's the Roller Coaster?Copy !req
171. Chillax. It's right here.Copy !req
172. Put the beer on it.Copy !req
173. You mean this empty bottle?Copy !req
174. Wha... You drank the beer?Copy !req
175. Maybe. Give me a light.Copy !req
176. The Roller Coaster!Copy !req
177. Ooh!Copy !req
178. Mm, I gotta be honest.Copy !req
179. I ain't a hundred percent on the name.Copy !req
180. What-what's wrong with the name?Copy !req
181. It's too obvious.Copy !req
182. How about something
like the Brew-Choo Train?Copy !req
183. The Brew-Choo—?
No, we're not gonna call it the Bre...Copy !req
184. Ale Aboard!Copy !req
185. Mm-hm, mm-hm.
We could change the name. We could.Copy !req
186. Or we could just stick
with the Roller Coaster.Copy !req
187. So, let's do that, okay? Cool.Copy !req
188. Well, how come you get to decide?Copy !req
189. What, you think just 'cause you're Black,
you're automatically the leader?Copy !req
190. No.Copy !req
191. A little.Copy !req
192. All in favor of Brew-Choo Train?Copy !req
193. - Aye!
- What?Copy !req
194. Aye!
- What's happening?Copy !req
195. All for Roller Coaster?Copy !req
196. - Aye!
- Rallo! Tater tots!Copy !req
197. All right!Copy !req
198. It's okay, I'm drunk. Doesn't hurt.Copy !req
199. Do you mind if I sit with you?Copy !req
200. Um...Copy !req
201. okay.Copy !req
202. I'm Tyra.Copy !req
203. Nice to meet you, Tyra.Copy !req
204. I'm Student Council President
Cleveland Brown, Jr.Copy !req
205. I was the new kid recently,Copy !req
206. so I know how many buttholes
are at this school,Copy !req
207. but I'm sure once people get to know you,
you'll have lots of friends.Copy !req
208. Thank you, Cleveland Jr.Copy !req
209. That's the nicest thing
anybody has said to me in days.Copy !req
210. - What's that?
- It's a rocket.Copy !req
211. I'm building it for the science fair,Copy !req
212. but it won't lift off
because the astronaut's too heavy.Copy !req
213. But if I take him out,
then it won't be authentic.Copy !req
214. Hm.Copy !req
215. Well, maybe you could do this.Copy !req
216. That's a great idea!Copy !req
217. - Thanks!
- You hear that, guys?Copy !req
218. Cleveland Jr. thinks this is gonna win
the science fair.Copy !req
219. Well, what are you guys making?Copy !req
220. We've translated Monty Python
and the Holy Grail into Klingon,Copy !req
221. and we're going to do
a shot-for-shot, stop-motion remakeCopy !req
222. using vintage, new-in-box, eight-inch,
Mego DC Comics action figures.Copy !req
223. Nerds!Copy !req
224. That does sound better than a rocket.Copy !req
225. Uh-uh.Copy !req
226. Junior's gonna win that science fair,
and I'm gonna help him do it.Copy !req
227. You are? Oh, boy!Copy !req
228. Who are you?Copy !req
229. I'm Fat Girl.Copy !req
230. It's the Alda-nator,
converting any voice into that of...Copy !req
231. TV star Alan Alda.Copy !req
232. You want to try?Copy !req
233. Um, I'm liberal know-it-all Alan Alda.Copy !req
234. Holy crap, this thing really works.Copy !req
235. Give me that.Copy !req
236. Hello?Copy !req
237. Kendra, it's Alan Alda.Copy !req
238. Oh, my Lord.Copy !req
239. I just wanted to thank you for the lettersCopy !req
240. and tell you that I wish all my fans
were just like you.Copy !req
241. Oh, I love you, Mr. Alda.Copy !req
242. Thank you for calling!Copy !req
243. What? I-I love my wife.Copy !req
244. If that makes me some kind of homo,
then so be it.Copy !req
245. What the hell is this?Copy !req
246. I've tried to be diplomatic,Copy !req
247. but the Brew-Choo Train is a stupid name.Copy !req
248. Look, I'm the only one who knows
what he's doing in this group.Copy !req
249. It was my idea, I did all the work,Copy !req
250. and now, you want me to ruin it
with your stupid name?Copy !req
251. I don't think so.Copy !req
252. You know, Cleveland,
I'm getting sick of your face.Copy !req
253. Yeah, man, you know,
you're starting to put yourselfCopy !req
254. before the project,Copy !req
255. and you, sir, are no Alan Parsons.Copy !req
256. Cleveland, you're fired.Copy !req
257. Well, then, I'm taking my sign.Copy !req
258. Go (bleep) yourselves.Copy !req
259. Another failed launch.Copy !req
260. I'm starting to feel
like whoever's in chargeCopy !req
261. of Fox's live-action sitcoms.Copy !req
262. Wait a minute.Copy !req
263. The wind.Copy !req
264. We forgot to account for wind resistance.Copy !req
265. Of course!Copy !req
266. We need to adjust
the trajectory at launch to compensate.Copy !req
267. Wow, Tyra, you're smart.Copy !req
268. Thank you.Copy !req
269. I've never been friends
with a girl before.Copy !req
270. Is it true you guys can clap your breasts
together like a seal?Copy !req
271. No.Copy !req
272. Thanks a lot, Wikipedia.Copy !req
273. Three, two, one!Copy !req
274. Yeah, real tough.Copy !req
275. This is still pretty cool!Copy !req
276. And the winner of this year's
Stoolbend High School science fair is—Copy !req
277. Cleveland Brown Jr. and Tyra Obama.Copy !req
278. - Whoo-hoo!
- Hooray!Copy !req
279. That's A+ work, Tyra.Copy !req
280. Yay!Copy !req
281. Mm!Copy !req
282. Why did you do that, Junior?Copy !req
283. Because I...Copy !req
284. I love you, Tyra!Copy !req
285. Will these two fatties
make a love connection?Copy !req
286. Well, we'll be back
to let you know in two and two.Copy !req
287. Good morning, my beautiful family.Copy !req
288. Well, Junior, you're in a good mood.Copy !req
289. It's because I'm in love!Copy !req
290. In love? Who is she?Copy !req
291. It's a she, right?Copy !req
292. 'Cause if it's a he, I'm sending you
to one of those camps.Copy !req
293. She's a new girl at school,Copy !req
294. and I'm super excited.Copy !req
295. You see, Dad, it's not just superficial.Copy !req
296. I'm deep in love.Copy !req
297. How deep?Copy !req
298. You know how when I go in the ball pit
at Cheese E. Charley's,Copy !req
299. and I sink all the way down to the bottom,Copy !req
300. and you can't find me?Copy !req
301. That deep?Copy !req
302. That's right, Dad.Copy !req
303. No problem, just here dropping off
an application.Copy !req
304. Players in my day
didn't make as much as they do today.Copy !req
305. Huh, sorry to hear that.Copy !req
306. Um, where was I?Copy !req
307. Well, that's great, Junior.Copy !req
308. Why don't you invite her over for dinner?Copy !req
309. No!Copy !req
310. I mean, um, girls don't like being pushed
into meeting parents.Copy !req
311. You're gonna scare her away.Copy !req
312. That's stupid.Copy !req
313. Teenage girls love to be told what to do.Copy !req
314. "Come over here, sweetie.Copy !req
315. Lose the top.Copy !req
316. All right, now lose the bottom.Copy !req
317. Hmm, not bad.Copy !req
318. Turn around.Copy !req
319. Okay, now turn back around and show me
how bad you want to be a cheerleader."Copy !req
320. From the mouths of babes.Copy !req
321. Here she comes!Copy !req
322. Now, I didn't tell her you'd be here
because I didn't want her to be nervous.Copy !req
323. Tyra, over here!Copy !req
324. Roberta!Copy !req
325. Oh, my God!Copy !req
326. That is exceptional.Copy !req
327. Family, I want you to meet Tyra.Copy !req
328. - Tyra?
- That's a "Tyra-ble" disguise.Copy !req
329. Oh, Junior, what have you done?Copy !req
330. I'm sorry I tricked you, Tyra,Copy !req
331. but I really wanted my family to meet you
to prove you were real.Copy !req
332. A real girl who likes me!Copy !req
333. And not a prostitute or a robot.Copy !req
334. W-would you excuse me?Copy !req
335. I need to use the restroom.Copy !req
336. Yeah, I'll bet you do,
'cause you're so full of crap.Copy !req
337. And that's why I'm dressed this way.Copy !req
338. A fat suit?Copy !req
339. What the hell kind of comedy high school
are you going to, anyway?Copy !req
340. Hey, Tyra, see you at the game on Friday.Copy !req
341. What do I do, Cleveland?Copy !req
342. I don't want to hurt him,
but I have to go back to being myself.Copy !req
343. You got yourself into this mess.Copy !req
344. You've got to figure a way out.Copy !req
345. Fup-away!Copy !req
346. Oh, look who it is.Copy !req
347. You come to gloat about your success?Copy !req
348. Well, how about you suck it instead?Copy !req
349. Check it out.Copy !req
350. Comes with its own "shirt-a-lope."Copy !req
351. You mail it back, three days later...Copy !req
352. whole new shirt.Copy !req
353. Cleveland, we, uh—Copy !req
354. We wanted to a-apologize to youCopy !req
355. for, uh, you know, uh,
kicking you out of the groupCopy !req
356. like you were, uh, some gay soldier.Copy !req
357. Uh, we also wanted to tell youCopy !req
358. we're getting sued
for copyright infringement.Copy !req
359. - What?
- The Brew-Choo Train already exists.Copy !req
360. Except it's called the Cider Glider.Copy !req
361. Awesome name. Better than ours.Copy !req
362. That sounds kind of familiar.Copy !req
363. It's time to say goodbyeCopy !req
364. to the frustration of not being able
to slide your beverage across a tableCopy !req
365. because the Cider Glider is here!Copy !req
366. Pssh!Copy !req
367. They should call that the Roller Coaster.Copy !req
368. Huh, I totally forgot about that.Copy !req
369. Well, I guess I lucked out, then, huh?Copy !req
370. Well, uh, not really.Copy !req
371. Uh, you see, we-we, uh—Copy !req
372. We forgot to take your name
off the paperwork as, uh, inventor,Copy !req
373. so-so what that means is, uh,
you're the only one getting sued.Copy !req
374. So, uh, so sorry about that.Copy !req
375. Uh, Stool later?Copy !req
376. You got served!Copy !req
377. I'm tired of you.Copy !req
378. Good morning, Tyra.Copy !req
379. I brought you a flower for your hair
to brighten up your face a little.Copy !req
380. I'll work on myself, too,
but you got to do your part.Copy !req
381. Look, Junior, I have some bad news.Copy !req
382. My family is moving to Alaska.Copy !req
383. What? But you just moved here.Copy !req
384. I know, but you got to keep this a secret.Copy !req
385. My dad is Iron Man.Copy !req
386. Wow!Copy !req
387. But what about us?Copy !req
388. I'm really sorry, Junior.Copy !req
389. You know, I've gone to a lot of schools,
and I've never met a boy as sweet as you.Copy !req
390. I've learned so much about myself
just being your friend.Copy !req
391. Thank you, Junior.Copy !req
392. Goodbye, Tyra.Copy !req
393. I got a postcard from Tyra!Copy !req
394. "Dear Junior, how are you?Copy !req
395. Alaska is very cold. It is our 49th state.Copy !req
396. Its main exports are fish, energy,
and crazy people.Copy !req
397. Miss you bunches. XOXO.Copy !req
398. Your friend, Tyra."Copy !req
399. Isn't she great?Copy !req
400. She's all right, Junior. She's all right.Copy !req
401. I'm gonna go upstairs
and try to start puberty.Copy !req
402. Uh-oh, I'd better go hide
my Niagara Falls pocket pooswah.Copy !req
403. It's a change purse, Rallo.Copy !req
404. Tomato, tomah-to.Copy !req
405. And that's how Len Stein
settled my copyright lawsuit.Copy !req
406. - I wish we could invent something else.
- I got one.Copy !req
407. Last night I thought of something
called the Alda-fier,Copy !req
408. a handheld device that converts any voice
into that of TV star, Alan Alda.Copy !req
409. You got to lay off the weed.Copy !req