The Brady Bunch 1x1

Directed by John Rich

J. Pat O'Malley as Henry Tyler • Dabbs Greer as Minister • Joan Tompkins as Mrs. Tyler • James Millhollin as Mr. Pringle

In the series opener, Mike Brady, a widower with three boys, marries Carol Martin, a widow with three girls. Just as the minister says "I do" the boy's dog, Tiger gets loose and chases the girl's cat through the wedding party. Chaos breaks loose which prompts Carol and Mike to yell at their kids to control their pets. Guilt over yelling at their kids comes into play later during Mike and Carol's honeymoon.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. You finished with this juice, Peter?

2. Okay, now, look, boys.

3. Let's all eat a good breakfast today.

4. I know you're bound to be nervous,

5. but we have to have plenty of nourishment and energy,

6. and that's why it's important to have a good breakfast.

7. We're almost finished, Dad.

8. You didn't eat anything at all.

9. Oh, yeah, well.

10. Yeah, I'll just have my coffee.

11. I don't blame you for being nervous, Mr. Brady.

12. This is a very important Saturday.

13. Alice, I know it's an important Saturday.

14. Who said I'm nervous?

15. I'm mature and I'm logical and I know I'm doing the right thing.

16. Why should I be nervous?

17. What makes you think I'm nervous?

18. It's the first time I ever saw you take 21 spoons of sugar.

19. I like it sweet.

20. Every bridegroom's a little jumpy, Mr. Brady.

21. It's a normal male reaction, Dad...

22. for your generation.

23. I once saw a movie

24. where a man was getting married.

25. He was so nervous, he forgot to put his pants on.

26. You're okay, Dad.

27. Thanks, son. Would you sit down?

28. I'm sure you're going to be very happy.

29. Mrs. Martin is a lovely woman.

30. Mmm... she's out of sight, Dad.

31. Groovy.

32. I think she's neat-o.

33. That makes it unanimous.

34. I think she's pretty special myself.

35. Ooh!

36. Well, I certainly hope

37. the bride isn't as nervous as the groom.

38. No, not my bride.

39. I'm sure the future Mrs. Brady

40. is cool, calm and collected.

41. I'm shaking like a leaf.

42. The wedding's only an hour away,

43. and I can't even brush your hair.

44. And I've got to fix yours, too.

45. And Cindy, what happened to your curls?

46. A half hour ago, I made your curls.

47. Oh, look at me.

48. Brides are supposed to be beautiful, and I look awful.

49. We think you look beautiful.

50. Uh-huh.

51. How can you girls sit there

52. and say that I look beautiful?

53. 'Cause we love you.

54. Girls.

55. Oh, you do like Mike, don't you?

56. Sure, we like him.

57. A lot.

58. You know how much we like him?

59. How much?

60. This much.

61. I'm sure we're all going to be very happy.

62. You're going to be happy.

63. I'm going to be happy.

64. Mike's going to be happy.

65. And Greg... and Peter and Bobby.

66. They're going to be happy.

67. If we're all going to be so happy,

68. how come your eyes look like they're going to cry?

69. Oh! Because grownups are silly.

70. Sometimes they cry when they're happy.

71. That must be Mike.

72. What makes you think so?

73. It's always Mike.

74. Hello.

75. It's Mike.

76. I'm just fine, honey. How are you?

77. I'm nervous, that's how I am. Nervous.

78. To tell the truth,

79. I've got a few butterflies in my stomach.

80. Were you sleeping with your mouth open, Mommy? Huh?

81. How did those butterflies get in your stomach?

82. Oh, they're not real butterflies, sweetheart.

83. I'll explain it to you later.

84. Hold on a minute, Mike, would you?

85. Why don't you girls run along

86. and get your clothes ready,

87. and I'll be along

88. in a minute to help, okay?

89. Oh, can't we stay here?

90. Come on.

91. The bride and groom want to talk privately.

92. Thank you, Miss Protocol.

93. It's all right.

94. I'm sorry, Mike.

95. Cindy thought there were

96. real butterflies in my stomach.

97. You're lucky if you only have butterflies.

98. I've got six flying saucers in mine.

99. Why don't you take a tranquilizer?

100. I took one.

101. Well, maybe you should take another one.

102. Nothing doing.

103. I want to be calm for the ceremony,

104. but there's the honeymoon to consider.

105. That's an architect for you... always planning ahead.

106. How you coming?

107. Okay, Dad.

108. Let's have a little inspection here.

109. Looks like you got dressed in the dark here.

110. There you go.

111. Well, Bobby, you look pretty good.

112. You look good, too, Dad.

113. Thank you very much.

114. Well, let's get going.

115. Not right for a man to be late

116. for a wedding, especially his own.

117. Where's your mother's picture, Bobby?

118. I put it away... in the drawer.

119. Because of Carol?

120. I thought maybe she might not like it

121. when she moves in.

122. Come here, Bobby.

123. Now, you can put it right back, son.

124. Are you sure?

125. I'm positive.

126. I don't want you to forget your mother.

127. And neither does Carol.

128. Gee, that's swell.

129. I really like this picture,

130. but I didn't want to upset my new mom.

131. You know something?

132. Your mother would be very proud

133. of you right now.

134. Greg, Peter.

135. Just combing our hair, Dad.

136. Well, come on. We can't wait all day.

137. We're all dressed up. So's Tiger.

138. Sorry, fellows. Tiger stays home.

139. Now, this is just for the family.

140. Alice is going to be there.

141. Alice is a member of the family.

142. So's Tiger.

143. He's our brother.

144. Now, look, boys, I love you,

145. and I love Tiger, too.

146. But we are not taking a dog to a wedding.

147. Hey, look, Dad. The caterers are here.

148. Good. I'm hungry.

149. Hungry? You just ate breakfast.

150. You'll eat after the wedding.

151. Get out the other side, boys.

152. Fluff them out a little.

153. Oh, that's better.

154. Henry!

155. I... I... I was just testing, dear.

156. There'll be plenty of time for that

157. when the guests arrive.

158. Thank you.

159. Oh, Mom and Dad, it all looks so beautiful.

160. The wedding's going to be lovely.

161. Well, wait till you and Mike get the bill, dear.

162. Henry.

163. Oh, mother, I know he's kidding.

164. I don't know what I would have done

165. without you two these past few years.

166. I don't know what I would have done either.

167. Well, you want to know something?

168. We're really going to miss you, sweetheart.

169. You're going to visit us, aren't you, Grandpa?

170. Of course they are, Cindy.

171. Mike's house is only 20 minutes away.

172. Sure.

173. Oh, that must be another telegram.

174. Hey, let me get it! Let me get it!

175. All right, off you go.

176. Hey, you look pretty.

177. Hi.

178. Well, you sound a little disappointed.

179. I thought you were going to be a telegram.

180. Hi, Mike.

181. Greg, Peter, Bobby, Tiger.

182. Tiger! You brought Tiger?

183. He'll frighten Fluffy to death.

184. Fluffy. I forgot about the cat.

185. Greg, put Tiger back in the car.

186. Aw, Dad... Now, wait, Mike.

187. We'll keep Fluffy up in the girls' room.

188. Oh, honey, we don't want you to lock up Fluffy.

189. Greg, you and Peter put Tiger back in the car.

190. Okay, Dad.

191. Come on, Tiger.

192. And put the top up,

193. and open the window a bit.

194. Come on in, Bobby.

195. Hello.

196. Mike! So you decided to show up after all.

197. Henry!

198. That's all right, Mrs. Tyler.

199. I don't get upset very easily.

200. Oh, yeah? This morning,

201. he put 21 spoons of sugar in his coffee.

202. Don't exaggerate.

203. But he didn't forget his pants.

204. Oh.

205. Well!

206. Cindy, why don't you take Bobby upstairs,

207. and tell the girls your new brothers are here, okay?

208. Okay, come on.

209. I got a swell new dollhouse.

210. Dollhouse? Dad... That sounds like fun.

211. Yuck.

212. Bobby, remember what I told you.

213. Come on!

214. Don't they look cute together?

215. Thank you.

216. I mean the kids.

217. Oh... Mike, I want you to see something.

218. What? You have a swell new dollhouse, too?

219. Oh, Mike.

220. Mom and Dad, would you excuse us?

221. Why, sure.

222. Well, what do you think?

223. Hey, everything looks beautiful.

224. Did you say everything looks beautiful?

225. Oh, everything. The flowers are beautiful,

226. the cake is beautiful, the hors d'oeuvres are beautiful.

227. Aren't you forgetting something?

228. Oh, the silverware looks beautiful, too.

229. Thank you.

230. Well, how do I look?

231. You, my dear, are prettier than flowers,

232. sweeter than the cake,

233. more appetizing than the hors d'oeuvres,

234. and more sparkling than the silverware.

235. Oh, Mike, be serious.

236. You want to know something?

237. Yes.

238. I am serious.

239. A few years ago, I thought it was the end of the world.

240. Now it's just the beginning...

241. for both of us.

242. Uh-uh. For all of us.

243. Right.

244. The whole blooming Brady bunch.

245. Now, Carol Ann, Michael Paul,

246. will you join hands, please?

247. Do you, Carol Ann,

248. take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?

249. To have and to hold, to honor and obey,

250. to love and cherish,

251. in sickness and in health

252. till death do you part?

253. I do.

254. Do you, Michael Paul,

255. take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?

256. To have and to hold, to honor and obey,

257. to love and cherish till death do you part?

258. I do.

259. I now pronounce you man and wife.

260. They whom God hath joined together

261. let no man put asunder.

262. Well, aren't you going to kiss the bride?

263. You bet I am!

264. Fluffy!

265. I told you boys, put that dog back in the car!

266. We did, Dad!

267. Well, put him back!

268. Fluffy!

269. Fluffy!

270. Stop it. You're ruining the wedding.

271. Grab him!

272. We got him.

273. Tiger!

274. Girls, stop that screaming.

275. You boys wanted to bring that dog! Now go get him!

276. I'm so sorry, everybody. Just sit quiet.

277. It'll be quite all right.

278. Henry, please do something!

279. Just calm down, dear.

280. Everything's going to be all right.

281. Tiger! Tiger!

282. Alice, can't you control that dog?

283. Yes, ma'am.

284. Thank you, Alice.

285. Tiger!

286. Tiger, sit! Sit!

287. Not you, sir. Tiger!

288. Where...?

289. Tiger! Tiger!

290. Tiger, if you don't stop, you're going to get it!

291. Oh, Reverend, I'm so sorry.

292. Why, it's all right.

293. Everything's going to be all right.

294. Waiter, get me some ice, please.

295. Tiger, Tiger!

296. There she goes!

297. Mike, thank goodness you saved the cake!

298. Oh!

299. Oh, Mike!

300. Just what we wanted...

301. A nice, quiet wedding.

302. Boy, show Mr. and Mrs. Manors

303. to room 312, please.

304. I do hope you folks enjoy your stay.

305. Oh, and may I be of service to you?

306. Thank you very much.

307. We're Mr. and Mrs. Brady, and we have reservations.

308. Oh, yes, Mr. Brady. Let me see now.

309. Brady, Brady, Bra... Oh, yes, Mr. Brady.

310. You have the honeymoon suite.

311. Right. The honeymoon suite.

312. Would you care to register, please?

313. Thank you.

314. Now, I am Mr. Pringle,

315. and if there is anything I can do,

316. you just call on me.

317. Thank you.

318. Thank you.

319. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Mr. Brady.

320. You have signed this "Mr. Ad Mrs. Brady and family."

321. I forgot.

322. That's force of habit.

323. The kids aren't with us.

324. Well, you did ask for the honeymoon suite.

325. Oh, it's quite all right, Mr. Pringle. You see...

326. It's all right, darling. No need to explain.

327. It's obvious this gentleman

328. doesn't dig the modern generation.

329. Boy.

330. Bradys to suite H.

331. Thank you, Mr. Pringle.

332. Oh, you're welcome.

333. Honey?

334. Yes?

335. Champagne's ready.

336. Champagne? Where did that come from?

337. The hotel sent it up.

338. How about that?

339. Lovely.

340. There you go.

341. Well...

342. here's to a great, big bubbly life together.

343. Oh, I forgot. What?

344. Champagne has a terrible effect on me.

345. It makes me dizzy.

346. Well, champagne has a terrible effect on me, too.

347. What? You'll find out.

348. Michael Brady, you stop that or I'll...

349. You'll what?

350. I was afraid Tiger was going to hurt Fluffy.

351. I couldn't help screaming,

352. and neither could Marcia and Jan.

353. But Mama yelled at us anyway.

354. She didn't even yell at the boys.

355. And it was their dog that chased Fluffy.

356. Maybe she likes them better than us.

357. I feel funny about Cindy...

358. and Marcia and Jan, too.

359. I shouldn't have scolded them at the wedding.

360. I shouldn't have yelled at the boys.

361. But it was such a mess.

362. Tiger was chasing Fluffy,

363. and the hors d'oeuvres were flying.

364. And all those ice cubes.

365. Poor Mrs. Feldman and her frozen front.

366. How about me and my nose

367. full of wedding cake?

368. I'm still sneezing rosebuds.

369. Oh, you were a sight.

370. Mike?

371. Hmm?

372. I feel guilty about the kids.

373. Hey, wait a minute.

374. We're on our honeymoon.

375. We're supposed to be enjoying ourselves.

376. Those kids are fine.

377. I'm sure they've forgotten all about it by now.

378. You're probably right.

379. Of course I'm right.

380. Listen, I know my boys.

381. They can be miserable one minute,

382. and laughing the next.

383. Right now, I'll bet

384. they've got a smile on their faces a mile wide.

385. Okay, when boys don't eat cake,

386. there's got to be a reason. Let's have it.

387. Dad shouldn't have yelled at us.

388. We were only trying to help.

389. He didn't yell at the girls,

390. and it was their cat that caused the trouble.

391. He only yelled at boys... us.

392. I guess that's the way it's going

393. to be around here from now on.

394. Just because they're Carol's kids,

395. we're going to get blamed for everything.

396. Now, you men don't really believe that.

397. We sure do.

398. When those girls move in,

399. they're going to take over.

400. Yeah. They're going to be Dad's favorites.

401. Yeah.

402. It's a marvelous hotel.

403. And the service... the service is great.

404. I told you boys to put that dog back in the car!

405. I told you boys to put that dog back in the car!

406. Put him back!

407. Girls, stop that screaming right now!

408. Girls, stop it! You're ruining the wedding!

409. Girls, stop that screaming right now!

410. Girls, stop that...

411. Whoopee.

412. Yahoo.

413. You know the answer as well as I do.

414. Let's go.

415. Like this?

416. It's an emergency.

417. Mr. Brady!

418. Don't worry, Mr. Pringle.

419. We'll be back.

420. Mommy!

421. Shh! You'll frighten Grandma and Grandpa.

422. Come on, girls.

423. Wake up, girls. Come on.

424. What's going on?

425. How would you girls like to come along with us?

426. On your honeymoon?

427. That's right.

428. Oh, boy! I've never been on a honeymoon.

429. Neither have I.

430. And I'm older than you are.

431. Shh, shh, shh!

432. What can you expect from children?

433. Mike, I'd better wake Mom and Dad

434. and tell them we're taking the girls.

435. Would you pack a few things for them?

436. Okay, pack a few dresses.

437. Bobby? Bobby?

438. Dad!

439. Hi, Bobby.

440. Shh! Shh! Come on, get up. Get up.

441. Peter? Peter?

442. Wake up. Come on. Come on.

443. Well, what are you doing here?

444. Hey, what's happening?

445. How would you boys like to come with us

446. on our honeymoon?

447. What?

448. Marcia, Jan and Cindy

449. are waiting downstairs.

450. Wow! I'd love to go on a honeymoon.

451. What should I take?

452. A girl, dummy.

453. Yeah, that'll do, Greg.

454. Come on, Petey. Get up.

455. I'm going back to bed.

456. Aren't you coming with us?

457. Not me. I'm too old to go on a honeymoon.

458. Dad's older than you are, and he's going.

459. Come on, Greg. We're all going to go together.

460. Now, go get some clothes on.

461. You boys get ready, too.

462. Honey, I'm going to go wake Alice and tell her.

463. Alice is right here.

464. Alice, what are you doing up at this hour?

465. Well, I figured you'd be back.

466. I packed the boys' clothes last night.

467. Mr. Brady!

468. Oh. It's okay, Mr. Pringle.

469. They're with us.

470. If there's one thing

471. that's better than a honeymoon for two,

472. it's a honeymoon for eight.

473. You mean a honeymoon for nine, Mommy.

474. You mean a honeymoon for ten.

475. Fluffy!

476. Tiger!

477. Eleven!

478. Don't forget Alice.

479. That makes 12.

480. Alice... I know this is a stupid question,

481. but what are you two doing here?

482. Well, he wouldn't go to sleep without you.

483. Besides, I figured someone ought to look after the kids.

484. Hey... good thinking.

485. Okay, gang... let's go.

486. Just a minute!

487. Ladies first.

488. Oh, no, it's by age.

489. The youngest one should be first!

490. I'm younger than you are!

491. I have as much right to go first as anybody!

492. Be careful of Cindy!

493. Boys!

494. Only one way to handle it.

495. Attention!

496. Okay, fall in.

497. Right here.

498. According to size, and big ones first.

499. Come on, fast.

500. Fill in ranks back there. Come on.

501. No talking in the ranks.

502. Come on, hurry up, hurry up.

503. Okay... left foot first.

504. Forward... march! Two, three...

505. Good night, Mr. Pringle.

506. Two, three, four...

507. Hut! Left, left, right, left.

508. Left, left, left, right, left.

509. Left, left, left, right, left.