The Boys 1x1

1. Yo, I am so psyched for Invisible Force 2.

2. Please. Invisible Force 1 was lame.

3. I'm all about Rising Tide.

4. Rising Tide? The Deep?

5. - Uh-huh. - Translucent could kick the Deep's ass.

6. How? He's invisible.

7. That's, like, all he's got. That's it.

8. Exactly. He sneaks up on the Deep,

9. and then boom, motherfucker!

10. - Sit down. - Until the Deep makes a shark

11. bite Translucent's dick off.

12. How's he gonna find his dick? It's invisible.

13. Holy shit.

14. Benjy!

15. Get up. Get up, get up, get up.

16. Come on, Benjy. Come on, come on.

17. Stay back.

18. Just stay the fuck back.

19. What are you smiling at?

20. Homelander?

21. You boys okay?

22. Can I... can I get a selfie?

23. 'Course you can.

24. The Seven's Queen Maeve and Homelander

25. made another heroic save today,

26. stopping a hijacked armored truck

27. on the streets of Brooklyn,

28. then staying behind for a photo op

29. - with some very lucky fans. - Nice to meet you.

30. - Jean? - Thanks, Jennifer. And now...

31. So, this is pretty much

32. everything in one. Bluetooth speakers.

33. It's in stereo, so you can put it

34. all around your living room, have some fun with it.

35. You said you have a standard cable box, right?

36. - Uh-huh. - Okay, then I need to get you

37. an audio transmitter, aptX Low Latency.

38. It makes it so there's less audio lag,

39. and it's got a standard optical in.

40. And let's hook you up with thousand-meg HDMI.

41. Let's go with this one.

42. Uh, it costs a little bit more,

43. but the carbon's way more conductive.

44. Hey, Gary. Um...

45. - I really need to talk to you about something. - Later, kid.

46. Okay. Cool.

47. Later... you want, like... want, like, 30-30 minutes?

48. Like, a solid 45?

49. Excuse me, sir?

50. Hi. I'd like to make an appointment

51. for you to come over and...

52. lay some cable.

53. Okay. Uh... oh, Robin.

54. Oh, dear, dear, Robin.

55. Um, that doesn't mean what you think it means.

56. Um, "laying cable" means sex.

57. No, "laying pipe" means sex.

58. "Laying cable" means

59. you want me to come over to your house

60. and just take a big, old shit.

61. - That's disgusting. - Well, okay.

62. But you... Who-who said it, though?

63. Okay. Are you ready? Despite your best efforts,

64. I'm actually still hungry.

65. I'm actually more hungry now.

66. - Where are we gonna go after all this hot talk? - I don't know.

67. - You know? - More importantly, where are we gonna go

68. to lay some cable afterwards?

69. Geez.

70. So, did you ask him?

71. - Who? - Gary.

72. Did you ask Gary for the raise?

73. Yeah. Yeah. It was... it was a...

74. Look, it was a crazy day, and-and he was super busy,

75. but tomorrow for sure. Yes.

76. Okay.

77. What was I supposed to do, kick his door down?

78. Like Homelander?

79. I said "okay".

80. Yeah, but you didn't mean it.

81. Hey, I see the look.

82. I see it. Come on.

83. This is like when we started dating.

84. I don't think that's... I don't think that's true.

85. Dude, I had to ask you out.

86. Well, excuse me for waiting.

87. You ever hear of chivalry?

88. Listen, this is about you getting what you deserve.

89. I'm killing myself at school

90. because I think it's gonna be worth it for both of us.

91. You know, if we move in together.

92. Wait, what? What? W-W-Wait. Hey, hey, hey.

93. Hey, hey. What was that?

94. What'd you just say?

95. Well, I mean, we can't keep, you know, laying pipe

96. at your dad's place.

97. Trying to be all quiet.

98. Staring up at that dumb Billy Joel post...

99. - ... poster. - Hey.

100. Don't you ever besmirch Billy Jo...

101. I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop.

102. Can't stop. Can't stop.

103. Robin?

104. Robin?

105. Robin!

106. Robin!

107. Let the energy go through the wall.

108. I am Starlight.

109. I'm 110 pounds, and I'm five foot six.

110. Turn around, please.

111. Okay. Let's see it, dear.

112. - You should look away. - Sorry?

113. You should turn away from the camera,

114. and you should close your eyes, or else I'll blind you.

115. All right.

116. Okay, go ahead.

117. I am so sorry.

118. Are you all right?

119. I was born Super-Abled.

120. Uh, my mom was thrilled.

121. She took me to all the little miss hero pageants,

122. but I hated it.

123. Ugh, I mean, I can still...

124. smell the hairspray.

125. Uh, but...

126. at the Q and A, they always asked me what my wish was,

127. and I always said, "to save the world."

128. And the judges just chuckled

129. like it was cute.

130. But it wasn't a joke to me.

131. Since when did "hopeful" and "naive"

132. become the same thing?

133. I mean, why would you get into this business

134. if not to save the world?

135. That's all I have ever wanted.

136. And that's why I've always wanted

137. to be in The Seven.

138. Thanks, Jennifer.

139. Thought Robin's service was nice.

140. Did you see how many people came?

141. Wow.

142. Lot of respect for that girl.

143. Lot of love in the room.

144. And the spread. What a spread.

145. Just really nice.

146. That does not begin to convey

147. the terrible regret...

148. Aw, geez. Maybe there's a movie on.

149. - No, keep it. - No, we can switch it.

150. Keep it.

151. awful, tragic loss.

152. My deepest condolences to Robin Ward's family.

153. I was chasing these bank robbers.

154. She just stepped in the middle of the street,

155. and I-I couldn't...

156. Middle of the...

157. She was a half step off the fucking curb.

158. Oh, now, come on, Hughie.

159. Just, uh, don't get upset, okay? Just...

160. He knows.

161. swift, thoughtful attention...

162. Now I think that A-Train would like to get back to work.

163. Everyone at Vought is just...

164. just wrecked about Robin.

165. Now, you two weren't married, and look,

166. technically, there's no legal claim.

167. But...

168. Vought wants to do the right thing:

169. offer you $45,000 in restitution.

170. All you have to do is sign

171. right here,

172. and I'll offer you the check.

173. This is a confidentiality agreement.

174. It's a boilerplate NDA.

175. I sign this, and...

176. I can't talk about it?

177. Have to pretend like it didn't happen,

178. like I wasn't holding Robin's arms in my hands?

179. Look, I know you're upset,

180. but we're just trying to help.

181. Then say you're sorry.

182. Excuse me?

183. I mean, you people say "our condolences"

184. and "my sympathies" and "our regrets",

185. but nobody can look me in the fucking eye

186. and say "I'm sorry."

187. I'm not signing anything. Get out.

188. I said get the hell out!

189. You okay?

190. As I said, boilerplate NDA, really.

191. Pretty standard stuff.

192. Can I think about it?

193. If you have any questions at all,

194. just, uh...

195. Unit 44, code 20.

196. Address is 142063rd Street...

197. Any maniacs out there?

198. Mm-mm. Quiet night.

199. Like every night.

200. That's too bad.

201. We could really use the press right now.

202. Oh, Annie.

203. I'm hungry.

204. Don't worry. I didn't get the job.

205. You don't know that.

206. They're auditioning girls nationwide.

207. Besides, Countess probably got it.

208. She's so good in a room.

209. If you're negative, negative things happen to you.

210. Hello?

211. Yes, I'm her mother.

212. Uh, yes. Uh...

213. uh, one moment.

214. It's them.

215. It's them.

216. Hello?

217. Yes, this is she.

218. I got it?

219. You got it!

220. You got it!

221. Shh.

222. Oh, my God.

223. Uh, I'm so... I'm so sorry.

224. It's a weird connection.

225. I don't know what that was, actually.

226. Uh... Mm-hmm.

227. Oh, shit.

228. Yeah?

229. I think she was an addict.

230. Needle tracks?

231. 12 marks on one arm.

232. More dope coming in.

233. More pushers at work.

234. What you doing?

235. Can't file a criminal case

236. against A-Train. Supes are like cops.

237. They can't be charged

238. - for damages while they're on the job. - Okay.

239. But maybe we can file a wrongful death.

240. I just got to get Robin's parents to sign off on it.

241. - Hughie, come sit with me. - Dad, I'm not...

242. I'm right...

243. Okay.

244. Good for you.

245. You want to make this right, what happened to Robin.

246. But you can't.

247. So sign this.

248. What?

249. This is a lot of money, Hughie.

250. We could really use it.

251. I can't... Dad, they killed her.

252. Be realistic, okay?

253. Even if we could pay for a lawyer...

254. and that's a big if... there's no case.

255. She was in the street.

256. - Be like if a bus hit her. - Dad, she was one step

257. - off the curb. - I...

258. - I saw it! - Hughie, look. Look.

259. - You can't do this. - Why not?

260. - Dad, I have... - You don't have the fight.

261. You never have.

262. I'm sorry, but it's-it's true.

263. Neither do I.

264. Now...

265. come and... come and sit with me, okay?

266. Remington Steele's on.

267. Hughie! Where you going?

268. the red carpet outside of Vought headquarters,

269. here for the annual shareholders presentation...

270. There she is.

271. Welcome to New York.

272. I'm Ashley Barrett, director of talent relations.

273. So, uh, are all these people here for me?

274. Oh, honey.

275. Who else would they be here for?

276. Come on.

277. We're running late.

278. Oh, my God.

279. Ladies and gentlemen,

280. it is without a doubt a good time

281. to be in the Superhero business.

282. Our net income is up 14%.

283. Our latest film, G-World War,

284. just grossed shy

285. of $1.7 billion world-wide.

286. And this fall, we break ground

287. on our newest theme park outside of Paris.

288. The branding opportunities are limitless.

289. But, you know, none of that really matters.

290. Because job one is managing, supporting,

291. and advising the brave heroes

292. who put themselves in harm's way each and every day

293. for us.

294. Let's take a look.

295. A world without crime,

296. with liberty and justice for all,

297. that's within our reach,

298. thanks to the 200-plus Superheroes

299. in the Vought Family.

300. We see a bright future ahead,

301. where there is a Vought Hero in every town.

302. You're doing really well, by the way, so far.

303. I-I haven't done anything yet.

304. Yeah, exactly. You're already up

305. two-and-a-half points with Midwesterners

306. and conservative Christians in 18 to 49.

307. That speech, by the way, your audition...

308. It was modest; it was humble.

309. Really fucking smart choice.

310. Uh, I-I meant it.

311. Yeah, that's why we love you.

312. So you ready for your life to change?

313. including the jewel

314. in Vought's crown,

315. the greatest superhero team

316. the world's ever seen:

317. The Seven.

318. That is our job, our honor.

319. We are Vought.

320. We make heroes super.

321. I have a very exciting surprise for you.

322. Both a member of The Seven,

323. and Lord of the Seven Seas,

324. live and in person, the Deep.

325. Thank you.

326. Thank you, everybody.

327. After a long,

328. distinguished career with The Seven,

329. my good friend, the Lamplighter, has retired.

330. Let's give him a big "thank you".

331. What do you say?

332. Thank you, Lamplighter!

333. But now,

334. as we turn towards the future,

335. I'd like to introduce someone very special.

336. And I, for one, can't wait to work with her.

337. Please welcome Starlight.

338. Go. Go. That's you.

339. - Ooh, look at that. - Ladies and gentlemen,

340. Starlight and the Deep.

341. Oh. Hi.

342. I love you, Starlight!

343. We love you!

344. Hey, buddy, you okay?

345. Hey, buddy!

346. Wow.

347. Pretty cool, huh?

348. Oh, hey, check this out.

349. We have two World View-4 satellites

350. in geocentric orbit.

351. We can essentially read a getaway car's license plate

352. from 380 miles up.

353. That is just...

354. I mean...

355. G... I was working with a police scanner

356. that I bought on eBay.

357. Yeah, well, not anymore you're not.

358. Oh, and wait till you check out the dining room.

359. We, uh, may or may not have stolen Miro

360. from Gramercy Tavern.

361. Yeah, he's fan-fucking-tastic.

362. That's his, isn't it?

363. Homelander's? Yeah.

364. But you'll have your own soon.

365. Here. Come on.

366. Give it a test drive.

367. Come on.

368. O-Oh, you-you okay?

369. It's just...

370. I used to stand in the mirror,

371. pretending to be where I am right now.

372. You know something?

373. On my first day, I, uh...

374. Well, I-I felt like a fraud.

375. Yeah. But the good news is, everybody feels that way.

376. Thank you.

377. And, hey, we're a team now.

378. We'll help each other out.

379. I bet growing up you had

380. a poster of Homelander on your wall, huh?

381. No, actually, I...

382. I don't know, Homelander's so...

383. He's like Jesus or something.

384. If you want to know the truth,

385. I actually had a poster of you.

386. Really?

387. - Yeah. Yeah. I kind of... - Oh.

388. I kind of had a schoolgirl crush on you.

389. - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

390. I hope that's not inappropriate to say.

391. No, no, no, no, no. It's not inappropriate at all.

392. It's just, it's kind of wild.

393. What?

394. I mean, you said you had a crush on me.

395. I figured that, you know...

396. - That is... - Whoa, whoa, wh-wh-whoa, hey.

397. Look, you're gorgeous.

398. I'm not... I'm not talking about sex,

399. just a little bit of pole-smoking.

400. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

401. It's just a question of how bad you want to be in The Seven.

402. Excuse me?

403. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

404. Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

405. Take it easy.

406. Settle down. We're just, we're just talking.

407. And look, I know that you're powerful.

408. I get it. Your powers are no joke.

409. The thing is...

410. I am number two around here.

411. So, like, if I say so,

412. you know, you'd be out of here.

413. Especially since you attacked me.

414. I what?

415. Yeah. Look.

416. I mean, Iowa's sweetheart, the Defender of Des Moines,

417. just went psycho on the Deep.

418. I mean, that...

419. that could put you out of the business.

420. Yeah.

421. I mean, home to Mommy, tail tucked between your legs.

422. Just think of all those kids.

423. I mean, the kids.

424. Those kids who look up to you,

425. they'd just be shattered.

426. I mean, th-that's not what you really want, right?

427. Or we come together as a team.

428. You and me, we just roll with the punches,

429. for, like, three minutes, maybe.

430. It's not a big deal.

431. And then you know what happens?

432. All your dreams come true.

433. I-I'm sure you guys have all heard

434. that Translucent stopped a home invasion

435. in Yonkers last night, a young, single mother

436. and her two kids.

437. Just incredible. Just...

438. So tell us, how are you able to-to vanish?

439. No, I don't actually vanish.

440. My skin turns into this carbon meta-material

441. that bends the light.

442. Like an invisibility cloak.

443. All right, but just to be clear,

444. you have to be completely naked, right?

445. I appreciate you coming on the show, my man. I love you.

446. You guys stay tuned for a behind-the-scenes look

447. at Invisible Force 2, and later, Translucent himself...

448. You interested in a nanny cam?

449. 'Cause we're actually running a special on that.

450. Um, it's a pretty popular bear.

451. There's cameras in the eyes.

452. Tell me,

453. how many nannies shake their babies?

454. Uh, I'm sorry?

455. You know, a good... hard shake, like...

456. like tryin' to get ketchup out of a bottle.

457. One percent? Less?

458. I-I don't really know.

459. Funny, that.

460. They sell a billion dollars worth of that shit worldwide.

461. Goes to show you, doesn't it?

462. The bollocks people will believe

463. if you get them scared enough.

464. Cool.

465. Cool, cool.

466. Um...

467. Is there anything I can help you with today, or... ?

468. I'm not gonna piss you about, Hughie.

469. I heard what happened to Robin.

470. I'm-I'm-I'm sorry, who are you?

471. She wasn't in the street.

472. She was one step off the fucking curb.

473. And you didn't take the pay-off.

474. Yeah. I said, who the hell are you?

475. How do you know that?

476. Name's Butcher.

477. Billy Butcher.

478. Listen, I was thinking that, uh,

479. you and me should have a little bit of a chat.

480. Y-You're a Fed?

481. You don't sound like a Fed.

482. What, I can't immigrate?

483. There's a giant green slapper with her ass in the harbor

484. that says different.

485. You don't really look like one, either.

486. No? What do I look like?

487. Like you're starring in a porn version of The Matrix.

488. Well, it's all right there in black and white.

489. Okay. Uh, what exactly can I do for you?

490. No, you got it all wrong, Hughie.

491. It's what I can do for you.

492. You see, you ain't alone, son.

493. It happens a lot more than you think.

494. Supes lose hundreds of people each year to collateral damage.

495. No. Come on, that'd be all over the news.

496. People would be screaming bloody murder.

497. Yeah, look, there might be the odd mention

498. of it now and again, like with Robin,

499. but there's a fuck-sight more that happens

500. that just gets swept right under the rug.

501. Why?

502. Ain't it obvious?

503. Movie tickets, merchandising,

504. theme parks, video games.

505. A multi-billion dollar global industry supported

506. by corporate lobbyists

507. and politicians on both sides.

508. But the main reason that you won't hear about it

509. is 'cause the public don't want to know about it.

510. See, people love that cozy feeling that Supes give them.

511. Some golden cunt

512. to swoop out of the sky and save the day

513. so you don't got to do it yourself.

514. But if you knew half the shit they get up to...

515. Ooh...

516. Fuckin' diabolical.

517. But then... that's where I come in.

518. Come in to... to do what?

519. Spank the bastards when they get out of line.

520. How do you spank a Supe?

521. Come on, son.

522. Uh, where?

523. You'll love it.

524. Uh, not likely.

525. Uh, listen.

526. I think this is good; I'm good.

527. Uh, thank you for an extremely weird conversation,

528. but, uh, I don't want to go to a second location with you.

529. So, I'm gonna get back to work.

530. Thank you.

531. Hughie! Hughie.

532. This is your one and only, mate.

533. Once I go, I'm gone.

534. I'm offering you the opportunity

535. to get them that got your girl.

536. What have you got to lose

537. that you ain't already lost?

538. Where are we?

539. Keep your mouth shut.

540. Harry.

541. Got your message.

542. Thank you for being an upstanding citizen.

543. You know this is fucking police brutality, man.

544. You know what they'll do to me, they catch me letting you in?

545. Not half of what I'll do if you don't.

546. Did he just say you were police?

547. Yeah, you know, cop, Fed, all the same to twats like that.

548. Holy shit.

549. Pick your jaw up off the floor

550. and try to blend in.

551. This is the only place

552. where the Supes can scratch their filthy little itch

553. without the paps taking snaps.

554. Wait, wait, wait. That's Ezekiel.

555. The "Capes for Christ" guy...

556. preaches all that...

557. "pray the gay away" shit.

558. And now he's the meat in the Manwich.

559. Fucking hypocrite.

560. Keep going forward.

561. That's it. Further.

562. Further.

563. There. There.

564. - Stop. - Wait, wait, wait.

565. A-Train's... A-Train's here right now?

566. Was. This is from last night.

567. Turn it up.

568. I cannot believe you ran through a bitch.

569. You want to hear something crazy?

570. I ran so fast through this bitch

571. that I swallowed one of her molars.

572. Like a bug on the fucking freeway.

573. Dude, that's nasty.

574. They're laughing.

575. Just... Like she's a joke.

576. They're fucking laughing.

577. So what are you gonna do about it?

578. Oh, for Chrissakes.

579. Clean yourself up.

580. Never let them see you like this.

581. Translucent,

582. you're a goddamn pervert.

583. Ah...

584. Oh, uh...

585. I'll just go.

586. They're all like that?

587. All of them? Even Homelander?

588. Homelander's the exception.

589. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke.

590. Man's a saint.

591. But the rest of 'em, yeah.

592. Pardon my French, fuck those fuckers.

593. Here.

594. Have a shufti of that.

595. - What are these? - That's the police log

596. the day that Robin got murdered.

597. Couple of bar fights. A few cars got nicked.

598. But you know what's not in there?

599. No bank alarms going off.

600. No one charged at Central Booking.

601. A-Train stopped two bank robbers, my arse.

602. Someone's fucking hiding something.

603. - Hiding what? - Well, I don't know,

604. whatever dodgy shit he was up to that night.

605. Why couldn't he stop? I mean, what was in that bag?

606. You know? Who was he running from?

607. - Or where was he running to? - Bingo.

608. Work that out, and we'll have the fucker, I can smell it.

609. Okay.

610. Okay, so, um...

611. what can I do to help?

612. Here's what you do.

613. Ring Vought, tell 'em you'll take the money, sign the NDA,

614. but only if A-Train's there in person when you do it.

615. Why does A-Train need to be there?

616. Then they'll take you into The Seven Tower,

617. through security, mate,

618. - and then you're gonna plant a bug. - A bug?

619. A bug. And we'll have a little listen.

620. See what's really going on.

621. Okay, let me just... sorry, let me just get this straight.

622. You want me to... you want me to go to Seven Tower by myself,

623. and-and you want me to plant a bug,

624. like I'm... what, like I'm fuckin' James Bond?

625. - Yeah, exactly. You got it. - You're FBI.

626. If you're FBI, then get a warrant.

627. - Why do you... why do you even need me? - Hughie, Hughie,

628. look, mate, I got a warrant, all right?

629. But that place is firewalled, untappable,

630. and locked up tighter than a nun's knickers.

631. I couldn't get myself in there in a million years.

632. But you, son, you could do it.

633. - No, no, I can't, okay? - Yeah.

634. I can't. No. You didn't see A-Train covered in...

635. And-and I'm, what, I'm just supposed to go in there,

636. and I'm supposed to... I'm supposed to shake his hand?

637. - And smile? - Yeah.

638. I'm not... Do you know who my favorite musician is?

639. - Who? - James Taylor.

640. Number two, Simon & Garfunkel. Number three, Billy Joel.

641. Any of those guys, they don't infiltrate.

642. Okay? I'm not an infiltrator.

643. Hughie, Hughie, fucking grow a pair.

644. You heard that cunt laughing at your girl.

645. No. No. No.

646. No, I can't. I can't do that.

647. I'm sorry, I'm just gonna fuck it up,

648. and you're not gonna have your bug...

649. and I'll be dead.

650. I'm not... I'm not like you.

651. This is amazing, Madelyn.

652. Thank you for this. My kid is gonna lose his mind.

653. Ah, it is our pleasure.

654. Just do not sell it online.

655. All right. What are you thinking?

656. Baltimore is a beautiful town.

657. But you've got a problem.

658. Your homicide rates are up, what, 62%?

659. The police are not closing cases.

660. You're on the verge of needing a federal lifeline.

661. Cut to the chase, Madelyn.

662. Who are you proposing?

663. Nubian Prince.

664. Fits your population's demo,

665. but not too militant.

666. Caucasians love him, too, with a...

667. 59% approval rate.

668. I am willing to give you a three-year exclusive contract

669. with full PR support,

670. and I'm gonna give you nine and a half points

671. of the merchandising.

672. I thought he was in Detroit.

673. Well, we're thinking about making a move.

674. How much?

675. $300 million a year.

676. I know, I know, it's a tough swallow.

677. But we both know that your city needs a hero.

678. $200 million for Nubian Prince.

679. - I can sell that. - Mm.

680. I'm sorry, Steve, I can't do it.

681. We've got Atlanta waiting in the wings.

682. I think maybe you can.

683. And why is that?

684. I happen to know about Compound V.

685. What is Compound V?

686. It's the type of rumor

687. that could really tarnish those heroes of yours.

688. Nobody wants that.

689. People need heroes.

690. Now, I can make sure that that stays a rumor,

691. because I'm a friend.

692. But friendship does cut both ways.

693. I'm sorry, Steve, I don't know what you're talking about.

694. $300 million is the price,

695. or we go to Atlanta.

696. So, how amazing is it?

697. What's Homelander like?

698. Uh... he's busy.

699. I haven't really met him yet, but...

700. Mom, I got to tell you what happened.

701. Oh, I forgot.

702. I was playing mah-jongg with Patty and Trish,

703. and Patty is going on and on about how her daughter

704. got into med school, and I'm thinking, so what?

705. My daughter got into The Seven!

706. Anyway, so-so, what did you want to tell me?

707. Everything's great.

708. Just how we dreamed.

709. Um...

710. Mom, actually, you know what? I have to go.

711. All right. Bye, honey.

712. Um...

713. excuse me.

714. I'm sorry, a-are you okay?

715. Just seemed like a...

716. tough call.

717. Sorry. I don't mean to bother you.

718. No, no, it's okay.

719. Uh...

720. I'm fine. I'm just...

721. I'm just having a bad day.

722. Yeah, me, too.

723. Uh... is it, like, a-a work thing, or...

724. a-a life thing?

725. It's a work thing.

726. You?

727. Uh... life thing.

728. You know how you have this...

729. image of yourself?

730. Like, I thought I was strong.

731. You know? Like, made of steel.

732. A fighter.

733. And...

734. then I was faced with this horrible situation

735. with this asshole...

736. and...

737. I just heard my mom's voice in my head,

738. "Keep smiling,

739. the show must go on,"

740. and... I didn't fight.

741. And now I just feel sick.

742. Partly because I did it, but...

743. mostly because...

744. turns out I'm not who I thought I was.

745. - Oh. Oh, I'm, um, sorry. - Uh...

746. I-I didn't mean to just dump all of that onto you.

747. No, no, it's totally fine that you dumped. Um...

748. Listen, d-do you like your job?

749. Oh.

750. It's the only thing I've ever wanted.

751. And it's a good job?

752. Like, you're not selling kids smack?

753. No, it's a great job.

754. I could help a lot of people.

755. Thing is, I, um...

756. used to know this girl,

757. and we used to go skating at Rockefeller,

758. and I'd be on the side

759. with this death grip on the rails.

760. She would just charge headfirst into the middle of the rink.

761. And she wasn't... good.

762. Like, she fell...

763. a lot...

764. but she was never scared.

765. And she always used to say:

766. "Just 'cause you fall on your ass doesn't mean

767. you have to stay there."

768. So you fell on your ass, you know?

769. That's not who you are.

770. So who are you?

771. I'm a fighter.

772. I'm gonna fight.

773. Yeah.

774. I'm gonna take that son of a bitch's head

775. - clean off his body. - Okay. Wow, that was...

776. Okay.

777. Cool.

778. Little scary, but...

779. but-but cool.

780. I'm-I'm Hughie, by the way.

781. Annie.

782. Okay, man. I'm in.

783. Okay, it's ringing.

784. Yeah, hello?

785. Hi. Hi.

786. Yes, hello. Hello, Mr. Friedman.

787. It's Hughie Campbell. I got your message,

788. and-and $45K, it's just...

789. it's just... it's bingo, like, life-changing.

790. Um, but I just need one thing before I-I sign anything.

791. I need an apology

792. - from A-Train. - Uh, he already apologized.

793. Well, no, no, no.

794. No, he hasn't. Yes, he sent his...

795. he sent his regrets and his sympathies on...

796. On TV, but I-I...

797. if I could just get an apology face-to-face,

798. that would be fantastic.

799. Just to... just for closure,

800. just to put... just to put a b-button on it.

801. Okay, yeah. But, uh...

802. Hugh, I'm telling you, the answer's gonna be no.

803. All right, in that... in that case, can you

804. just give me... Uh, hello?

805. I think... They hung up.

806. I don't think they're gonna go for it.

807. Hmm. Oh, yes, they will.

808. Starlight.

809. Don't want to be late to your first official meeting.

810. I had a whole welcome speech planned.

811. Sorry, sir.

812. Please, Homelander's fine.

813. Beginning to wonder if you'd even show up.

814. I mean, all that pressure,

815. it's a lot for anyone to swallow.

816. Yeah. Don't worry, I'll be fine.

817. I'm here,

818. and I'm not going anywhere.

819. Can we get back to this, please?

820. This is a serious crime. These assholes pirated my movie

821. three weeks before release,

822. and you can't walk down 5th Avenue

823. without bumping into a table of unlicensed Homelander shirts.

824. Copyright infringement is costing Vought

825. $1.2 billion per year.

826. That's money out of our pockets.

827. We've all got, what, four points each?

828. What the fuck?

829. You got four points?

830. And clearly better lawyers.

831. Hey, hey, hey, guys, come on.

832. Stop.

833. What's Starlight gonna think?

834. Listening to us haggling over nickels.

835. We're The Seven, for God's sake.

836. Whether we're out there or we're in here.

837. Now, what I do want to hear

838. is who you saved this week.

839. Huh?

840. Who's up for that?

841. Black Noir.

842. Let's start with you, man.

843. Do you have a dog?

844. No.

845. All right, give us your phone.

846. There's fuck-all security to worry about.

847. In fact, they're a bunch of muppets.

848. And the metal detector won't pick this up.

849. Right? And what they'll probably do is take you

850. through the security and then up into the boardroom.

851. Sit down. Be nice, congenial.

852. Then, real polite-like, tell 'em you're gonna take a fake shit.

853. Go into the bog, take the bug out.

854. Peel back the plastic bit to reveal the sticky side.

855. Put the plastic bit in the bog. Flush it.

856. Then go back into the boardroom,

857. sit down... big smiles...

858. plant the bug underneath the table.

859. Easy peasy Japanesey.

860. Bob's your uncle. That's that.

861. - That's that? That was... that was a lot. - Yeah.

862. Th... I've... Hold on, can you just... can you repeat it again?

863. Just a little bit slower? Because I...

864. Shh. Listen.

865. - Fuck. - Hughie, calm down, all right?

866. This is like that scene in The Matrix.

867. Now, you could take the fucking red pill, right?

868. Spend the rest of your life jacking off,

869. crying into your chai tea

870. green latte, what the fuck. Or...

871. you could take the blue pill.

872. Or is it the red pill? Anyway, take the other pill

873. - and quit being a cunt. - Which pill do you want me to take?

874. Just quit being a cunt. That's what I'm saying.

875. Fuck me. Okay.

876. Sir, could you empty your pockets, please?

877. Thank you.

878. Um...

879. excuse me, can-can I, uh...

880. can I use your bathroom?

881. Just to be clear, A-Train's apology

882. isn't an admission of any sort of culpability whatsoever.

883. Do you understand?

884. I'm sorry about what happened to your girlfriend,

885. all right?

886. Hey, dude, are you okay?

887. Fine.

888. I appreciate the apology.

889. Accidents happen, right?

890. After all,

891. I mean, you were saving the world.

892. Okay, great. Thank you so much. As you know,

893. a crimefighter's work is never done. Douglas here will handle

894. the rest of the paperwork for you, okay? Thank you.

895. Can I use your bathroom?

896. What the fuck?

897. And I look him right in the eye, and I smile.

898. And that was awesome, man,

899. just getting to stare that asshole down.

900. I get why you dig this job.

901. Yeah, you know, it has its moments, doesn't it?

902. You were right. Fuck A-Train.

903. Fuck A-Train. Fuck-fuck The Seven.

904. Fuck all... Seven.

905. What are we, uh...

906. what are we doing here?

907. Well, you got to go to work, don't you?

908. Yeah, but, um, I don't, uh...

909. Well, I mean, that's all I need you for right now, yeah?

910. Yeah, I mean, but I-I can...

911. I can help with other stuff, you know?

912. I could... I could be, like, your tech guy.

913. You know? Like, I could be in the van with the thing

914. and, like, you know, "He's down the hall to the left."

915. Like, I can...

916. Yeah, look, son, I, uh...

917. I think it's best that I take it from here.

918. - You know what I mean? - Yeah, but I-I can...

919. I can really help.

920. I know you can help. I got it.

921. Oh, w... Oh, hey, wait.

922. You ever see an asshole tear up $45K?

923. Hughie.

924. You're a good lad.

925. Ms. Stillwell, I wasn't sure you'd call.

926. This fucking chafes, but, um...

927. I'm willing to come down to $230 million for Nubian Prince.

928. That's very reasonable, Maddie. Thank you.

929. And, Steve, this, um, Compound V,

930. any rumors you may have heard about my heroes...

931. libelous and completely untrue.

932. But we all know how rumors spread,

933. so... I'd appreciate your discretion.

934. Of course.

935. You have my word.

936. Thank you.

937. Have a safe flight home.

938. Policing cities is a thorny enough issue as it is,

939. but allowing superheroes into national defense?

940. We'd basically be privatizing war.

941. Good night, Hughie.

942. You'll lock up?

943. - Yeah. - Yeah.

944. Thanks, Gary.

945. Sorry, we're closing up.

946. Hello?

947. Who are you?

948. The fuck?

949. Right in front of you, prick.

950. You think I wouldn't find this thing?

951. Hughie.

952. You pussy, I followed you from the fucking Tower.

953. No, no, no!

954. Who's that guy you were with, in the car?

955. - Who was he? - I don't...

956. - He put you up to this? - I don't know!

957. He was just some Uber driver, okay?

958. Don't give me some bullshit! Uber driver!

959. Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?

960. - Why'd you plant the bug? - Please.

961. Please, please, please.

962. No, please.

963. We're The Seven,

964. Earth's most mighty,

965. champions of the innocent,

966. motherfucker!

967. Sorry about the mess.

968. You should fuck off, Hughie.

969. Hughie, run!

970. Well, well, well,

971. if it ain't the invisible cunt.

972. There you are.

973. So who are you?

974. Fucking spy?

975. For who? Huh?

976. You're gonna fucking tell me,

977. or I'm gonna smash your fucking scalp off!

978. Who the fuck are you?

979. I'll tell you who you are.

980. A fucking moron.

981. "Translucent" doesn't even mean "invisible".

982. It means "semi-transparent".

983. Is he... is he dead?

984. Is he...

985. Well, he ain't moving.

986. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.

987. How'd you know the electric could do the job?

988. Skin's carbon.

989. Highly conductive.

990. Saw it on, uh, Jimmy Fallon.

991. Would've taken me forever to work that one out.

992. Good job.

993. Let's get him in the boot.

994. Wait, wait, what? Wait, what? What?

995. The trunk.

996. No, no, I mean, what are we... what are we...

997. what are we doing with him?

998. Well, Hughie, you just offed one of The Seven, mate.

999. Me? I...

1000. You-you hit him with a fucking car!

1001. Look, potato, fucking po-tah-to.

1002. We're both in a shitload of trouble.

1003. No, no, no, we're not! It's... It...

1004. He-he attacked us, okay?

1005. And you're-you're a federal officer, you know?

1006. Just-just call the fucking FBI.

1007. Yeah, o-okay, so, look,

1008. technically, I'm not a Fed.

1009. What?

1010. Then who the fuck are you?

1011. Don't worry about it, kiddo. It's just a little turbulence.

1012. It'll be okay.

1013. Whoa.

1014. Dad. Dad. Dad!

1015. What's he doing out here?

1016. Are you guys friends?