1. It's a scene normally reservedCopy !req
2. for major Hollywood
blockbusters.Copy !req
3. The faithful have been
lined up for days.Copy !req
4. Some arrived in costume.Copy !req
5. All for the love of chicken.Copy !req
6. Okay, try it!Copy !req
7. Huey!Copy !req
8. Tomorrow, the fried chicken
event of a lifetime!Copy !req
9. One more herb.
One more spice.Copy !req
10. The new Kernel's Fried Chicken
New Original Recipe.Copy !req
11. Now with 13
herbs and sp—Copy !req
12. What the—?
I bet it's your brother.Copy !req
13. I knew I should have
abandoned him at the mallCopy !req
14. when I had the chance.Copy !req
15. Boy!Copy !req
16. What did I tell you?
Huh?Copy !req
17. I said you can do
what you wantCopy !req
18. with your survival thing
but don't mess with my TV!Copy !req
19. Every year
it's a new disaster.Copy !req
20. Bird flu, swine flu,Copy !req
21. World War III,
killer astranoids,Copy !req
22. New World Order. What was it,
the Trisexual Commission?Copy !req
23. What the hell
is a trisexual anyway?Copy !req
24. Trilateral.Copy !req
25. I got a silly contraption
in my garage,Copy !req
26. a hundred gallons
of fucking water.Copy !req
27. I got more damn Cheerios
and canned green beansCopy !req
28. than I'm ever gonna eat!Copy !req
29. Granddad, I promise
you'll be thanking meCopy !req
30. when the crisis comes.
Where is the crisis, boy?Copy !req
31. Where's the disaster?Copy !req
32. Where's the return
on investment?Copy !req
33. All this damn money
for extra food and toilet paper.Copy !req
34. That's it. It's over.
I ain't spendingCopy !req
35. another damn dime
on the end of the world.Copy !req
36. You on your own now. Boy, you
ready to go get some chicken?Copy !req
37. Yeah, yeah!Copy !req
38. You want fried chicken, baby?Copy !req
39. Fried chicken is murder.Copy !req
40. Suit yourself.
Come on, let's go.Copy !req
41. Yeah!Copy !req
42. What's that for anyway?Copy !req
43. It's a generator.Copy !req
44. What does it do?
Nothing right now.Copy !req
45. But if I can get it to work,
it could save our lives.Copy !req
46. So how bad
is it gonna be?Copy !req
47. When the end
of the world comes?Copy !req
48. I don't know. But I got
it all worked outCopy !req
49. so the three of us
can survive in this houseCopy !req
50. as long as possible.Copy !req
51. Three?Copy !req
52. Me, Riley
and Granddad.Copy !req
53. What about everyone else?Copy !req
54. I can't save
everyone else.Copy !req
55. If I tried, I'd just
end up saving nobody.Copy !req
56. What about me? Would you
let me stay here?Copy !req
57. You know,
if things got bad?Copy !req
58. The plan is
for three people.Copy !req
59. A fourth person and we could
run out of food or water—Copy !req
60. But I'm your friend. Can't you
make a plan for four people?Copy !req
61. I guess.Copy !req
62. I feel much better
about that now.Copy !req
63. You know, Huey, everybody says
you're a loony person,Copy !req
64. but I think one day you're gonna
be smarter than everybody.Copy !req
65. Man, this chicken
gonna be off the chain!Copy !req
66. See, you kids don't know
how lucky you have it.Copy !req
67. All my life we only had
11 herbs and spices.Copy !req
68. This is a whole new—
Oh.Copy !req
69. Aah!
Aw, man...Copy !req
70. A two-piece special
with lots of hot sauceCopy !req
71. and all the fries
you can give me.Copy !req
72. Boy, wake up,
it's almost chicken time.Copy !req
73. What? I can't believe
what you telling me!Copy !req
74. Huh, what? No way!
No goddamn way!Copy !req
75. Hell, no!
What is it?Copy !req
76. Motherfuckers talking about
they out of chicken!Copy !req
77. What?
Listen! Listen!Copy !req
78. Welcome to Kernel's
Fried Chicken.Copy !req
79. We are out of chicken
at the moment.Copy !req
80. Please go away until
we have more chicken.Copy !req
81. Thank you. God bless.
They ran out of chicken?Copy !req
82. Aw, man, this is
some old bullshit!Copy !req
83. No chicken? I ain't gonna
be able to get that bucket?Copy !req
84. How can they
be out of chicken?Copy !req
85. It's Kernel's Fried Chicken!Copy !req
86. This is outrageous!
This is an outrage!Copy !req
87. Hello? 911?Copy !req
88. No, I ain't calling to snitch,
I got a real emergency.Copy !req
89. Yeah, I'll hold.Copy !req
90. Some of us have been
looking forward to this dayCopy !req
91. for a long, long time.Copy !req
92. Hello? My emergency?Copy !req
93. These fools done
ran out of chicken.Copy !req
94. Welcome to Kernel's
Fried Chicken. Unfortunately—Copy !req
95. I ain't leaving
this motherfuckerCopy !req
96. until I get my chicken!Copy !req
97. I'm standing
out here waiting!Copy !req
98. That's what they do.
Keep screwing the little man.Copy !req
99. They're not gonna
get away with this.Copy !req
100. You right!
Hey, he right!Copy !req
101. It's time for us
to fight back!Copy !req
102. Let's knock some
motherfuckers out.Copy !req
103. We are not gonna
take it anymore!Copy !req
104. Huh?Copy !req
105. Tonight,
civil unrest explodesCopy !req
106. in several major
American cities.Copy !req
107. There have been reports
of fires, looting,Copy !req
108. and violence
in the streets.Copy !req
109. All over a fast-food promotion
gone terribly wrong.Copy !req
110. As the first customers tasted
the new secret recipe,Copy !req
111. reviews were stellar.Copy !req
112. Yo, motherfucker!
This— Yo, nigga.Copy !req
113. This shit is bad as fuck.Copy !req
114. Put this shit
in your mouth.Copy !req
115. Eat that motherfucker!
Eat it!Copy !req
116. But early on in the day there
were signs of trouble.Copy !req
117. Impatient crowds, drive-through
lines stretching for miles,Copy !req
118. scuffles between tired
and hungry customers.Copy !req
119. How you gonna say
you got chickenCopy !req
120. and you ain't got
no chicken?Copy !req
121. You knew y'all was gonna
do this for a year!Copy !req
122. How am I supposed
to feed my family now?Copy !req
123. I want my chicken!Copy !req
124. My babies want
their chicken!Copy !req
125. I can't believe after
all that, no chicken!Copy !req
126. I always miss out
on the hot new thing.Copy !req
127. And now,
another crisis brewing,Copy !req
128. this one around
a mysterious virusCopy !req
129. that seems to have
appeared out of thin airCopy !req
130. and is spreading
like wildfire.Copy !req
131. Already there are
400 confirmed casesoCopy !req
132. of the mystery virus
in all 50 states,Copy !req
133. and the CDC warns
it could spreadCopy !req
134. to hundreds of thousands
by the end of the week.Copy !req
135. Personally, I'm scared
shitless, and for good reason.Copy !req
136. Where this virus came from
is anybody's guess.Copy !req
137. It's the chicken.Copy !req
138. Who is it?Copy !req
139. Have you eaten the chicken?Copy !req
140. Huh? Huey,
it's Tom and Jazmine.Copy !req
141. Have you eaten
the chicken?Copy !req
142. Ha-ha. No.Copy !req
143. What?Copy !req
144. Huey, did you hear
about the mystery virus?Copy !req
145. Huey, you've got
Jazmine terrifiedCopy !req
146. about all of this
end-of-the-world stuff.Copy !req
147. Tell him, Huey. Tell him
the end is coming.Copy !req
148. Look, if you guys
wanna playCopy !req
149. your little make-believe
survival games that's fine.Copy !req
150. But sweetie, I promise you,
the world is not going to end.Copy !req
151. Please, Daddy.
It's not safe.Copy !req
152. Honey, I have
to pick up your mother.Copy !req
153. Stay as long
as you want, have fun.Copy !req
154. Call me when you wanna
come home.Copy !req
155. No!Copy !req
156. He made his choice.
You in or out?Copy !req
157. Nobody,
anywhere saw it coming.Copy !req
158. Oh!
It's being calledCopy !req
159. the fried chicken flu.Copy !req
160. Thousands are sick, and CDC
officials confirmed todayCopy !req
161. that the same fried chicken
responsibleCopy !req
162. for a second day of riots
around the countryCopy !req
163. is also responsible
for a pandemicCopy !req
164. that experts are saying could
reach biblical proportions.Copy !req
165. I've never seen
any fucked up shit like—Copy !req
166. I gotta get out of here!
Get out of my fucking way!Copy !req
167. Oh, my God!Copy !req
168. Oh, man,
this is terrible.Copy !req
169. Now we'll never get
to try that chicken.Copy !req
170. Today the mayor of Louisville
ate chickenCopy !req
171. at a press conference
in a show of support.Copy !req
172. Seven hours later,
he was in a coma.Copy !req
173. Yet amazingly, people are
still eating chicken.Copy !req
174. Packing into
the few restaurantsCopy !req
175. that still have
the golden bird in stock.Copy !req
176. Willing to risk life and limb
for a leg and a thigh.Copy !req
177. We're all gonna die!Copy !req
178. We're not going to die.Copy !req
179. No, she's right.
We're all gonna die!Copy !req
180. God, please, take
everybody else, but not me!Copy !req
181. We are not going to die.Copy !req
182. This is the day I've been
planning for my whole life.Copy !req
183. Here is the survival plan.Copy !req
184. It contains guidelines
for security,Copy !req
185. food and water rationing,
energy usage,Copy !req
186. communications,
et cetera, et cetera.Copy !req
187. What?
Nigga, what is this, homework?Copy !req
188. Everything you need to know
is in your packet.Copy !req
189. It's easy to understand,
and I used extra large type.Copy !req
190. Uh, I don't like
to read instructions.Copy !req
191. Yeah, and I don't like
to read period.Copy !req
192. Just give us the gist.Copy !req
193. No. You need
to read all of it.Copy !req
194. It's all important.Copy !req
195. Okay, but what's
the most important stuff?Copy !req
196. I guess the most
important thingCopy !req
197. is that we keep quiet
about our emergency supplies,Copy !req
198. and we don't let anyone else
in the house no matter what.Copy !req
199. Fine. Agreed.
What about Mommy and Daddy?Copy !req
200. There's nothing we can do
for them. They're goners.Copy !req
201. Huey's right,
they're on their own.Copy !req
202. They gonna die.Copy !req
203. Hey, man, she gonna be crying
like this all the time?Copy !req
204. 'Cause I say if she is
we kick her out.Copy !req
205. Shh!
Everybody shush! Shush!Copy !req
206. President Obama
is talking.Copy !req
207. He's gonna
tell us what to do.Copy !req
208. My fellow Americans.
Uh, good afternoon.Copy !req
209. I'd like to start off by
thanking all of you out there,Copy !req
210. uh, who have called
and written lettersCopy !req
211. about the safety
of the First Family.Copy !req
212. You'll be happy to knowCopy !req
213. that Michelle, Sasha, Malia,
myself and Bo are all fine.Copy !req
214. Don't nobody
care about you, man!Copy !req
215. Tell us everything
will be okay for us.Copy !req
216. Everything is going
to be okay...Copy !req
217. for us.Copy !req
218. We are currently
in our very own super-secretCopy !req
219. underground bunker
with enough food and waterCopy !req
220. and entertainment to last
several lifetimes.Copy !req
221. But I'm here tonight
to talk about you.Copy !req
222. In times of crisis,
Americans pull together.Copy !req
223. And what's gonna get us
through this difficult time?Copy !req
224. Sharing.
Sharing?Copy !req
225. Lending a helping hand to a
neighbor in their hour of need.Copy !req
226. No. Fuck a neighbor.
What we need is a cure.Copy !req
227. Unfortunately, there is no cure
for the pandemic we now face.Copy !req
228. But we do have
an even more powerful weapon.Copy !req
229. Compassion
for our fellow man.Copy !req
230. No! Fuck compassion
for our fellow man!Copy !req
231. In conclusion I want to sayCopy !req
232. that we are all in
for some tough times ahead.Copy !req
233. And when I say we,
I mean you.Copy !req
234. But Michelle, Sasha, Malia,
myself and BoCopy !req
235. are gonna be right here,
rooting for you all the way.Copy !req
236. Good night,
and God bless you.Copy !req
237. And may God bless
the United States of America.Copy !req
238. We all gonna die!Copy !req
239. We all gonna die!Copy !req
240. Hey, good morning,
Huey.Copy !req
241. You want some breakfast?Copy !req
242. Granddad, what's going on?Copy !req
243. Just a little breakfast.Copy !req
244. Oh, by the way,
this is Tina.Copy !req
245. She's gonna be staying here
until the crisis blows over.Copy !req
246. Granddad, the plan was
for four people.Copy !req
247. How come you get
to have a friendCopy !req
248. and I can't
have a friend?Copy !req
249. It's not a slumber party,
Granddad.Copy !req
250. I planned
on Jazmine being here.Copy !req
251. I didn't plan
for anyone else.Copy !req
252. Well, your plan sucked.Copy !req
253. You think the world's gonna end
and I'm gonna be trapped hereCopy !req
254. looking at y'all
sweaty-necked Negroes?Copy !req
255. Ew! I'll get it.Copy !req
256. Granddad, wait! Granddad,
the emergency plan saysCopy !req
257. we don't open
the front doorCopy !req
258. until we know the identity
of the person outsideCopy !req
259. and can confirm
they don't have—Copy !req
260. What do you want?Copy !req
261. Hey, uh,
Riley told me y'all hadCopy !req
262. a fly little emergency setup
over here andCopy !req
263. to be honest a nigga
was kinda wonderingCopy !req
264. if he could hold it down
for little while.Copy !req
265. Ha-ha!
What up, Thugnificent?Copy !req
266. Granddad, can he
stay with us too?Copy !req
267. No!
Why should I help him?Copy !req
268. Look, old nigga,
this fried chicken fluCopy !req
269. is kinda scaring a nigga.Copy !req
270. Motherfucker is wiling
out and shit.Copy !req
271. I don't know shit about
survival. I'm a rapper.Copy !req
272. No!
Nope. Sorry.Copy !req
273. That's a cold situation.Copy !req
274. Both of y'all get friends
and I can't have a friend?Copy !req
275. He does have a point.
I don't play favorites.Copy !req
276. Don't think I came here
empty-handed either.Copy !req
277. Ain't nothing thugnificentCopy !req
278. about being a freeloader,
you smell me?Copy !req
279. Leonard!Copy !req
280. Yo, anybody hungry?Copy !req
281. I got the whole menu right here.
Mm-hm.Copy !req
282. Minus the chicken,
of course.Copy !req
283. Check it out.Copy !req
284. We got singles,
doubles, bacon doubles,Copy !req
285. double bacons with a little
bit of meat on it, fries,Copy !req
286. Frostys,
some chili-cheese.Copy !req
287. I wouldn't touch that, though.
I taste it on the way here.Copy !req
288. I ate all the chili-cheese,
that's why I saidCopy !req
289. don't taste it, but who wants
some other stuff?Copy !req
290. Granddad, this is
not in the plan.Copy !req
291. Well, according to the plan
all we got to eatCopy !req
292. is Cheerios and green beans
so once again your plan sucks.Copy !req
293. You got a bacon
cheeseburger?Copy !req
294. Here you go,
Mr. Freeman.Copy !req
295. Thank you kindly.Copy !req
296. Where my room at,
nigga?Copy !req
297. Now again, we don't
want anyone to panic,Copy !req
298. but let's look at someCopy !req
299. of the projected
casualty rates by state.Copy !req
300. Let's start
with New York,Copy !req
301. projected million
and a half dead.Copy !req
302. Maryland,
300,000 dead.Copy !req
303. Florida, a million and a half
projected to push up daisies.Copy !req
304. And now certain fears
that the virus may haveCopy !req
305. jumped franchises and may
be infecting chickensCopy !req
306. from Bluto's, Temples Chicken,
even Chick-le-fai.Copy !req
307. Damn, everybody's
catching this shit, man!Copy !req
308. That must be some
good-ass chicken!Copy !req
309. The real tragedy isCopy !req
310. that we may never ever get
to eat fried chicken again.Copy !req
311. Robert? Huey?Copy !req
312. Anyone home?Copy !req
313. Say no.Copy !req
314. Hey!
Mommy and Daddy!Copy !req
315. What do you want?
This...Copy !req
316. is a restricted area.Copy !req
317. Hey, uh, it's us.Copy !req
318. We're just checking
on Jazmine, and, um,Copy !req
319. wondering if it was
too late to—Copy !req
320. Is Huey home? Can we just
talk to Huey, or Robert?Copy !req
321. This is Huey.Copy !req
322. Huey, let us in.
I can't.Copy !req
323. That's not fair!
You let everyone else in!Copy !req
324. They're on their own.Copy !req
325. We don't have enough food
for two more people.Copy !req
326. What about
what Leonard brought?Copy !req
327. No way, that's for us.Copy !req
328. Guys, it's us!
Tom and Sarah!Copy !req
329. We are your neighbors
and dear friends.Copy !req
330. We've had so many hilarious
adventures together.Copy !req
331. Come on.Copy !req
332. You're really gonna leave us
out here to die?Copy !req
333. Oh, come on!
We should let them inCopy !req
334. because Jazmine
will start cryingCopy !req
335. and we'll never get
her to shut up.Copy !req
336. Okay, I guess.
Step closer to the camera.Copy !req
337. They can come in.
Really?Copy !req
338. Thank you, Huey!
Thank you, thank you!Copy !req
339. They're not allowed
to eat anything.Copy !req
340. Works for me.Copy !req
341. I like it when the
burger is stuck in my teeth,Copy !req
342. I can get it out
and eat it too.Copy !req
343. Nine people.Copy !req
344. We don't have anywhere
near enough food and water.Copy !req
345. I agree. There are way
too many darkies in this house.Copy !req
346. Ruckus?
What are you doing here?Copy !req
347. Oh, funniest thing happened.Copy !req
348. I was in the attic replacing
some of that insulationCopy !req
349. like you asked me to,
Robert.Copy !req
350. Then it was like some
kind of explosion,Copy !req
351. then it went black
and I hit my noggin.Copy !req
352. I just woke up
like five minutes ago.Copy !req
353. You've been here
this whole time?Copy !req
354. Yeah,
but don't you worry.Copy !req
355. Old Uncle Ruckus is fine,
I'm just fine.Copy !req
356. Oh, I noticed
the president was on TV.Copy !req
357. What was that well-dressed
nigga talking about?Copy !req
358. Get the hell out!Copy !req
359. Please don't send me out there!
Come on, go!Copy !req
360. I don't want
the chicken flu!Copy !req
361. Lord,
I'm too young to die!Copy !req
362. Please, I swear I'll never say
anything about darkies again!Copy !req
363. No. Get your fat ass
out of here!Copy !req
364. Here, have a gas mask.Copy !req
365. Asian stocks posted their
biggest single-day declineCopy !req
366. in history because of the
fried chicken flu outbreak—Copy !req
367. The government in
Pakistan collapsed todayCopy !req
368. as a result of the fried
chicken flu pandemic—Copy !req
369. Authorities say fried chicken
flu is responsibleCopy !req
370. for the tsunami that hit the
coast of Vietnam this morning—Copy !req
371. With everyone either sick
or afraid of getting sick,Copy !req
372. the nation has come
to a complete standstill.Copy !req
373. Hospitals are overwhelmed,
as are all basic services.Copy !req
374. Power, water, cell phones,
and Internet service provi—Copy !req
375. What? What's that?Copy !req
376. We're going live to yet another
address from President Obama.Copy !req
377. Good evening.
My fellow Americans,Copy !req
378. I want you to know
in this time of crisisCopy !req
379. I am personally doing
everything I can to help youCopy !req
380. and by everything I mean
sitting hereCopy !req
381. and talking to you
in a calm, soothing voice.Copy !req
382. And as long as you
can hear my voice,Copy !req
383. everything is going
to be just fine—Copy !req
384. Oh, no!
Oh, man!Copy !req
385. All that work.
All that planning.Copy !req
386. Why did I even try?Copy !req
387. Because you're different
from everyone else.Copy !req
388. Okay, try it.Copy !req
389. I knew you
could do it.Copy !req
390. Oh!Copy !req
391. Guys, wait! You're gonna
use up all the power.Copy !req
392. What, boy?Copy !req
393. You're gonna use up
all the power!Copy !req
394. I can't hear you! We have
too much electronic equipmentCopy !req
395. running at the same time!Copy !req
396. I'm scared of the dark!
Damn!Copy !req
397. How long we gotta be
up in here?Copy !req
398. It's been like a week
and a half,Copy !req
399. it's getting a little old,
all right?Copy !req
400. No one's forcing you
to stay here.Copy !req
401. I get it, you want me to leave
and get the fried chicken flu?Copy !req
402. Is that it? You trying
to kill a nigga, nigga?Copy !req
403. Robert Freeman!Copy !req
404. This is the Woodcrest Fried
Chicken Flu Militia.Copy !req
405. We demand to speak with you
at once.Copy !req
406. We understand you are
hoarding emergency supplies.Copy !req
407. This is a serious offense
in a time of crisis.Copy !req
408. You tell them,
Ms. Von Hausen.Copy !req
409. They got all types
of goodies up in there.Copy !req
410. They got green beans and
Cheerios, and drinkable water.Copy !req
411. Even a device
that lets you pee in a cupCopy !req
412. and drink it
right back in again.Copy !req
413. Still tastes like pee,
but you get the idea.Copy !req
414. The Woodcrest
Fried Chicken Flu MilitiaCopy !req
415. will enforce the law
until order is reestablished.Copy !req
416. We demand that you let us in
to inspect your house.Copy !req
417. Huh?Copy !req
418. No.Copy !req
419. I insist, Mr. Freeman!Copy !req
420. Let us in at once!Copy !req
421. Let me try.Copy !req
422. Get the fuck on!Copy !req
423. Mr. Freeman!Copy !req
424. We are not leaving
until you allow us in.Copy !req
425. That bitch must have
lost her mind.Copy !req
426. We gotta do something.
What should we do?Copy !req
427. It's in the plan.Copy !req
428. Did anyone read the plan?Copy !req
429. I did!Copy !req
430. Hm. Homemade
tear gas.Copy !req
431. Homemade teargas.
That's an idea.Copy !req
432. Uh-uh.
Yeah, that's it.Copy !req
433. That's the ideal response.Copy !req
434. That'll solve our problems.Copy !req
435. Hey, old woman!
Suck on this!Copy !req
436. That's right!
Eat an old dick, old bitch!Copy !req
437. Fall back, faggots!Copy !req
438. Now, Riley, there's no need
to be homophobic.Copy !req
439. Eat it, you pussy punk
bitches!Copy !req
440. The terrorists are using
chemical weapons! Retreat!Copy !req
441. Yay!Copy !req
442. How do you know if someone
has fried chicken flu?Copy !req
443. Well, it normally starts
with a temperature,Copy !req
444. and excessive sweatiness.Copy !req
445. After that,
tremendous stomach pain.Copy !req
446. Headache.
Loss of balance.Copy !req
447. As mucus builds up,
they will beginCopy !req
448. to have an incredible
amount of snot.Copy !req
449. Soon after that, the inevitable
projectile vomiting.Copy !req
450. Oh, God!Copy !req
451. Okay, stay calm, stay calm. Oh.Copy !req
452. Tom, Tom.Copy !req
453. Can you hear me?Copy !req
454. Tom, I need to know
how you contracted the flu.Copy !req
455. Did you leave the house?Copy !req
456. No. I was so hungry, I—
Leonard.Copy !req
457. It was so delicious.Copy !req
458. I swear my left hand,
right hand to God,Copy !req
459. I did not feed him
no chicken.Copy !req
460. Just some fries
and some Buffalo wings.Copy !req
461. Oh, man, there was chicken
in here all this time?Copy !req
462. Chicken?
No, no, not chicken.Copy !req
463. Buffalo. You ain't just hear
me just say Buffalo wings?Copy !req
464. When I tried one
I thought to myself,Copy !req
465. "This tastes like chicken."
But the fact it was a buffalo,Copy !req
466. I was like, I don't
wanna say it out loud,Copy !req
467. y'all gonna think
I'm stupid.Copy !req
468. That's why I ain't
get no chicken.Copy !req
469. Get out of here!
Hold up, man!Copy !req
470. You too,
you nasty-ass hooker!Copy !req
471. It ain't like that!Copy !req
472. I didn't just catch
you on top of Tina?Copy !req
473. Well, yeah, you did,Copy !req
474. but I swear I thought
it was cool, man.Copy !req
475. You thought it was cool?
How is that cool?Copy !req
476. I swear to God, man,
she told me you wouldn't mind.Copy !req
477. I thought you was
sharing with the homey!Copy !req
478. It ain't no fun unless—Copy !req
479. Nigga, you know
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
480. I thought we was tag teaming
on the ass, man, all right?Copy !req
481. That's disgusting.
Get out! All of you. Out!Copy !req
482. Out!
Please, please, please,Copy !req
483. let me stay!
Get out of here.Copy !req
484. I'm sorry I smashed your broad.
What we gonna do?Copy !req
485. I didn't mean
to kill Tom.Copy !req
486. I fed him 'cause
I wanted him to live.Copy !req
487. And now he not gonna live, so
it's like, why'd I feed him?Copy !req
488. But I didn't mean
to kill him.Copy !req
489. Come on, old nigga!
We gonna die out here!Copy !req
490. Betty's going to come back.Copy !req
491. And we can't defend
this place by ourselves.Copy !req
492. We have to go.
Leave the house?Copy !req
493. But where are we gonna go?Copy !req
494. Don't know.Copy !req
495. We'll have
to take our chances.Copy !req
496. You guys go without me.Copy !req
497. I'm only gonna slow you down.Copy !req
498. Oh, honey, no.
We'd never leave you.Copy !req
499. Okay, if that's what you want.
Come on, boys.Copy !req
500. Mr. Freeman!
It's okay.Copy !req
501. There isn't enough room
for the food and me.Copy !req
502. Take the food.Copy !req
503. Leave me.Copy !req
504. Let's get them all.
Put the cans in there.Copy !req
505. Put it up there.Copy !req
506. Tighten it up.
Oh, my God, Tom, you heavy.Copy !req
507. Don't die in my trunk.Copy !req
508. Robert Freeman!Copy !req
509. You, sir, are a terrorist
and a threat to public good!Copy !req
510. Prepare to be
apprehended!Copy !req
511. After them!Copy !req
512. Get on the bus!
Get on the bus!Copy !req
513. Yeah!
Slow down!Copy !req
514. Watch out!Copy !req
515. Yeah, that's right!Copy !req
516. Next time, niggas!Copy !req
517. Ride out, old man!Copy !req
518. I love you,
Robert!Copy !req
519. I'm sorry,
old nigga!Copy !req
520. What the fuck
are y'all wearing?Copy !req
521. We're here at a Kernel's Fried
Chicken outside of Woodcrest.Copy !req
522. It now seems
that fried chicken fluCopy !req
523. was actually
just salmonella.Copy !req
524. None of those millions of people
projected to die have died.Copy !req
525. In fact it appears
nobody has died.Copy !req
526. We are being told
there are still large areasCopy !req
527. without power, meaning many
people are still not awareCopy !req
528. that the crisis has ended.Copy !req
529. We're going to go now to—
Wait, I'm seeing something here.Copy !req
530. Uh, it looks like something
coming right at us...Copy !req
531. Dear God! Run!Copy !req
532. Oh, my God!Copy !req
533. Are we dead?Copy !req
534. I'm okay.
Honey?Copy !req
535. Oh!Copy !req
536. Can I get...Copy !req
537. Can I get a two-piece
and a biscuit?Copy !req
538. And all the fries
you can give me.Copy !req
539. Oh.Copy !req