1. Hold on, I just got
out of the shower.
Copy !req
2. There's some juice
on the table.
Copy !req
3. Mm-hm.
Take your time.
Copy !req
4. You wanna explain to me
what you're doing here?
Copy !req
5. I came looking
for booty.
Copy !req
6. You came looking for sex
with an underage boy?
Copy !req
7. Oh, no. I ain't come looking
for no little boys.
Copy !req
8. I ain't got no milk,
no cookies, nothing.
Copy !req
9. I came looking
for man's butt.
Copy !req
10. A man's butt?
Excuse me?
Copy !req
11. Oh, I know who you are,
Chris Hansen.
Copy !req
12. But see I calls you
Chris Handsome.
Copy !req
13. I watch your TV show
all the time.
Copy !req
14. So you can go ahead
and bring in them cameras
Copy !req
15. and them police
is waiting outside.
Copy !req
16. It don't make me
no difference.
Copy !req
17. Now, I'll tell you what.
Copy !req
18. I like you,
and I want you.
Copy !req
19. Now, we can do this
the easy way,
Copy !req
20. or we can do it
the hard way.
Copy !req
21. The choice is yours.
Copy !req
22. Well, I don't think
you and I
Copy !req
23. will be doing anything
any kind of way.
Copy !req
24. Okay, I see
you choosing the hard way.
Copy !req
25. Okay, cut.
This isn't working.
Copy !req
26. Someone get this guy out—
Copy !req
27. Don't make me ruin
that butt, Chris!
Copy !req
28. No. Please!
I'm a warrior!
Copy !req
29. Tom DuBois was widely known
Copy !req
30. to be a friend
of the gay community.
Copy !req
31. Tom was a crusader
for gay marriage.
Copy !req
32. He marched
in gay pride parades.
Copy !req
33. He watched gay movies
and never once turned away
Copy !req
34. or even made a face during
the gay sex scenes.
Copy !req
35. Wow.
Copy !req
36. Sean Penn is amazing.
Copy !req
37. But beneath Tom's support
of the gay community
Copy !req
38. was a dark secret.
Copy !req
39. Tom had a fear
of going to jail
Copy !req
40. and being anally raped.
Copy !req
41. Hey, hey, hey nigga.
Copy !req
42. You got a nice
little ass, nigga.
Copy !req
43. Gimme your ass, nigga.
Copy !req
44. You see me looking at you.
Gimme your ass.
Copy !req
45. No! Stay away!
Hey, brown skin!
Copy !req
46. The phobia got so bad
Copy !req
47. he took a leave of absence
from his job.
Copy !req
48. Eventually, he stopped
leaving the house altogether.
Copy !req
49. Finally, Tom found a program
specializing in his phobia,
Copy !req
50. treating patients
with a combination
Copy !req
51. of group therapy...
My name is Tom.
Copy !req
52. And I have a fear
of going to jail
Copy !req
53. and being anally raped.
Copy !req
54. Hi, Tom.
Copy !req
55. confidence-building
affirmations...
Copy !req
56. My booty is mine.
Copy !req
57. It belongs to me.
Copy !req
58. You cannot take my booty.
Copy !req
59. and basic self-defense.
Copy !req
60. So when grabbed
from behind,
Copy !req
61. The first thing we do
is drop our center of gravity.
Copy !req
62. Then, we thrust
our hips backwards
Copy !req
63. and our arms forward,
breaking the hold.
Copy !req
64. Okay, Tom.
Now, I'll do you
Copy !req
65. and you try to get me off.
Copy !req
66. I can't!
Copy !req
67. It was a long road
to recovery.
Copy !req
68. This is the third time
your boys have been caught
Copy !req
69. fighting this quarter,
Mr. Freeman.
Copy !req
70. This time, it was a brawl
against five other boys.
Copy !req
71. What happened to him?
He got in the way.
Copy !req
72. You have two options,
Mr. Freeman.
Copy !req
73. The first is that both
of your boys
Copy !req
74. are expelled from school.
Copy !req
75. Ooh,
I'll take that one.
Copy !req
76. Pick that one,
Granddad!
Copy !req
77. And, uh,
what's the other?
Copy !req
78. We send your boys to prison.
Copy !req
79. Hold up. Don't you think
that's a little—
Copy !req
80. This is a permission slip
for our Scared Stiff program.
Copy !req
81. Delinquent students
visit a real jail
Copy !req
82. so they can interact
with real inmates
Copy !req
83. and see the real future
that awaits them
Copy !req
84. if they continue with their
pathological behavior.
Copy !req
85. Ooh, I change my mind,
Granddad!
Copy !req
86. Pick jail! Pick jail!
Pick jail! Pick jail!
Copy !req
87. Please let me go to jail!
Copy !req
88. Tom, do you have something
Copy !req
89. you'd like to share
with the group?
Copy !req
90. Why, yes I do.
Copy !req
91. My name is Tom.
And I am no longer afraid
Copy !req
92. of going to prison
and being anally raped.
Copy !req
93. That's fantastic, Tom.
Copy !req
94. And to prove it,
tomorrow I'm going to prison.
Copy !req
95. Did he say—?
Copy !req
96. I've agreed to chaperone
a Scared Stiff program.
Copy !req
97. I'm taking a group
of troubled youths to prison
Copy !req
98. so they can mend
their ways.
Copy !req
99. Well, that's excellent, Tom.
Copy !req
100. Whoa, man,
are you sure about that?
Copy !req
101. Absolutely.
I'm looking forward to it.
Copy !req
102. See? Tom is going to face
his fears head on.
Copy !req
103. And he's gonna walk out
of that prison with his rectum
Copy !req
104. and his peace of mind
intact.
Copy !req
105. Way to go, Tom!
Way to go, buddy.
Copy !req
106. Anybody wanna come
with me?
Copy !req
107. No.
Copy !req
108. No? Okay.
Copy !req
109. Honey, it is great
that you're making
Copy !req
110. so much progress
with the therapy,
Copy !req
111. but I just don't want you
Copy !req
112. to think you have to prove
anything to anyone.
Copy !req
113. Oh, honey—
Look, I'm not worried
Copy !req
114. about your safety,
Copy !req
115. but I'd hate for you to have
a bad experience
Copy !req
116. and go back to
how you were.
Copy !req
117. You know,
I was thinking about
Copy !req
118. becoming
a defense attorney.
Copy !req
119. But how can I do that
Copy !req
120. if I'm too scared
to step foot in prison?
Copy !req
121. How would I meet
with the clients?
Copy !req
122. Wow! Tom.
I had no idea.
Copy !req
123. Imagine it, sweetie.
Copy !req
124. Saving people
from anal rape
Copy !req
125. instead of sending them
to it.
Copy !req
126. And that's what this trip
is about.
Copy !req
127. These boys need
this trip.
Copy !req
128. They don't fear
jail at all,
Copy !req
129. which means they'll probably
end up there
Copy !req
130. if no one does anything.
Copy !req
131. Don't you see, honey?
Copy !req
132. If I'm afraid
to live my life
Copy !req
133. then the anal rapists win.
Copy !req
134. My anus
is gonna be fine.
Copy !req
135. And I'm gonna make sure
those young boys' anuses
Copy !req
136. are just fine too.
Copy !req
137. Pause.
Copy !req
138. Okay, guys,
remember to stay
Copy !req
139. with the group at all times.
Copy !req
140. And remember,
nothing metal in your pockets.
Copy !req
141. The guards will take it away
from you
Copy !req
142. and you won't
get it back, okay?
Copy !req
143. Ah, okay, this is it.
Copy !req
144. All right, alrighty.
Copy !req
145. My name is Uncle Ruckus,
Volunteer Corrections Officer.
Copy !req
146. Next stop, Willie Horton
Maximum Security Prison.
Copy !req
147. Now, you white
children be prepared.
Copy !req
148. This is gonna be
like a trip to the zoo.
Copy !req
149. But do not worry,
Copy !req
150. your Uncle Ruckus
will protect you.
Copy !req
151. And as for you Negroes,
Copy !req
152. well, this just gonna be
like a trip to the future.
Copy !req
153. So it should be exciting
for everybody!
Copy !req
154. Come on aboard!
Copy !req
155. We got mm-hm, all right...
Copy !req
156. Wait, where's Riley?
Copy !req
157. Riley, what are you doing?
Copy !req
158. Nothing.
Give it here.
Copy !req
159. Come on.
Copy !req
160. Riley, I am very
disappointed in you.
Copy !req
161. Now go get on that bus.
We going inside, Mr. DuBois.
Copy !req
162. Anything
can happen in there.
Copy !req
163. I gots to have
my shank.
Copy !req
164. You want me make you one?
Copy !req
165. I brought
an extra toothbrush.
Copy !req
166. Now.
Man, if something happens,
Copy !req
167. it's your fault.
Copy !req
168. Anything can happen
in there.
Copy !req
169. If something happens,
it's your fault.
Copy !req
170. Anything can happen in there.
We going inside, Mr. DuBois.
Copy !req
171. Put my finger
in your ass, man.
Copy !req
172. It's tougher
to shock kids nowadays.
Copy !req
173. They already know
what goes on in jail.
Copy !req
174. But we do our best to scare
the living shit out of them.
Copy !req
175. Some of you are here today
'cause you think jail is cool.
Copy !req
176. But see y'all wouldn't
know nothing about that shit.
Copy !req
177. Ain't shit cool
about jail, nyukka!
Copy !req
178. Ain't nothing cool.
Copy !req
179. I been here 10 years,
and I ain't never getting out.
Copy !req
180. I ain't do much.
Just kill somebody.
Copy !req
181. It ain't like the nyukka
ain't have it coming.
Copy !req
182. He sure did.
Y'all think
Copy !req
183. it's just about us in here,
Copy !req
184. but this is about
an oppressive,
Copy !req
185. fucked-up system
designed to keep niggas
Copy !req
186. down and shit.
Copy !req
187. Y'all wouldn't know
nothing about that.
Copy !req
188. What about you, little nigga?
Copy !req
189. You know about that?
Yes.
Copy !req
190. Oh, you know about that?
Copy !req
191. Tell me
what you know about that!
Copy !req
192. Tell me what you think
about that!
Copy !req
193. The prison-industrial complex
is a system situated
Copy !req
194. at the intersection
of government
Copy !req
195. and private interests.
Copy !req
196. It uses prisons as a solution
to social, political,
Copy !req
197. and economic problems.
Copy !req
198. It includes
human rights violations,
Copy !req
199. the death penalty,
Copy !req
200. slave labor,
policing, courts,
Copy !req
201. the media,
political prisoners,
Copy !req
202. and the elimination of dissent.
Copy !req
203. Nigga, did you just say
Copy !req
204. what I was trying to say
but smarter?
Copy !req
205. I like this little nigga.
Copy !req
206. But you left one thing out,
little nigga.
Copy !req
207. Show of hands, how many people
ever raped a man.
Copy !req
208. Pause. Heh-heh.
Copy !req
209. Uh-huh. How many people
ever been raped by a man?
Copy !req
210. Pause again.
Copy !req
211. All of them.
One hundred percent.
Copy !req
212. You can't get no higher
than that, nyukka.
Copy !req
213. You step in here,
you getting raped.
Copy !req
214. Right up the motherfucking
brown eye, baby.
Copy !req
215. I raped a few niggas myself.
Copy !req
216. I ain't really enjoy it,
not that much.
Copy !req
217. Shit, it felt good
to the motherfucker though.
Copy !req
218. I ain't let that nigga
kiss me or nothing,
Copy !req
219. but I did tear that
motherfucking ass up, nigga,
Copy !req
220. I ain't gonna lie about it.
Copy !req
221. But that's what the Man's
Copy !req
222. oppressive system did to me.
Copy !req
223. Now, me?
Copy !req
224. I'm more
of a romantic type.
Copy !req
225. I'll still rape you,
but I'll definitely stroke
Copy !req
226. your head lovingly
while I do it.
Copy !req
227. See, cause I want you
to like it.
Copy !req
228. Now, you don't have
to like it.
Copy !req
229. But I—
Copy !req
230. Sorry. I was distracted
Copy !req
231. by that fine motherfucker
right there.
Copy !req
232. What's your name,
fine motherfucker?
Copy !req
233. I, uh...
What's your name?
Copy !req
234. Don't think that's, um—
Tom.
Copy !req
235. Okay, now let's talk
about Tom.
Copy !req
236. Tom is the type of nigga
Copy !req
237. that gives us
wet dreams up in here.
Copy !req
238. Medium brown.
Copy !req
239. Soft features.
Tall and in shape,
Copy !req
240. but still soft and squishy.
Copy !req
241. Now, I like to put
the jelly inside my ass.
Copy !req
242. Then put some of this peanut
butter on top of it.
Copy !req
243. I call it a peanut butter-jelly
and asshole sandwich.
Copy !req
244. But Tom here
will be calling it lunch.
Copy !req
245. Yeah, nigga!
Copy !req
246. You know what the system
does when you come to prison?
Copy !req
247. They strip you.
They strip you mentally,
Copy !req
248. emotionally,
and they strip you naked.
Copy !req
249. But-ass naked! What the fuck
is you looking at nigga?
Copy !req
250. Punch you right in your
motherfucking temple, nigga.
Copy !req
251. Give me your clothes.
Beat his ass.
Copy !req
252. You're supposed
to be scaring the kids.
Copy !req
253. I said give me your clothes.
Copy !req
254. Start with your shoes. Hurry up.
Copy !req
255. You need some help?
I got it.
Copy !req
256. Now you see this, kids?
You really,
Copy !req
257. really, don't want this
to happen to you, okay?
Copy !req
258. And your shirt too,
nigga! Hurry up!
Copy !req
259. Take it off!
Copy !req
260. Okay. Y'all
motherfuckers looking, huh?
Copy !req
261. Tom just got his motherfucking
manhood tested.
Copy !req
262. And he failed.
He should have knocked
Copy !req
263. my motherfucking
head off.
Copy !req
264. And you know
what that means, don't you?
Copy !req
265. Tom, you getting raped.
Copy !req
266. When you go to prison,
the most important thing
Copy !req
267. in your life
is gonna be booty.
Copy !req
268. Better listen to him.
Copy !req
269. A man's butt.
Copy !req
270. Booty, getting some booty
Copy !req
271. is more important
than eating food.
Copy !req
272. It's more important
than drinking water.
Copy !req
273. If I see a man I like,
I tell him like this here:
Copy !req
274. I likes you, and I want you.
Copy !req
275. Now, we can do this
the easy way,
Copy !req
276. or we can do it
the hard way.
Copy !req
277. The choice is yours.
What you want?
Copy !req
278. What's it gonna be?
Copy !req
279. Say it, nigga.
I asked you a question, Tom.
Copy !req
280. I can't hear you.
Say it, Tom!
Copy !req
281. I-I don't want to answer.
Copy !req
282. Uh, excuse me
I didn't hear you, Tom.
Copy !req
283. I said I-I don't want to answer.
Copy !req
284. I don't wanna...
Copy !req
285. I don't wanna do this
anymore.
Copy !req
286. Sound like to me
you want it the hard way.
Copy !req
287. Give it to him!
Copy !req
288. Out of the way!
Copy !req
289. All right,
everybody calm down!
Copy !req
290. Calm down! Now we taking
over the prison.
Copy !req
291. So back up! Back up!
Copy !req
292. Back up! Back up!
Copy !req
293. You can't have my booty!
Copy !req
294. Get him! Get him!
Copy !req
295. And more reports coming
in that hostages
Copy !req
296. are being held
inside the prison.
Copy !req
297. Oh, my God.
I can't believe this.
Copy !req
298. Hello, 911 emergency.
Copy !req
299. Oh, my God. Listen,
you have to help!
Copy !req
300. Help me, please!
Sir, please calm down.
Copy !req
301. What's your emergency?
Copy !req
302. I'm inside William Horton
Maximum Security Prison
Copy !req
303. and they attacked
the guards.
Copy !req
304. I think there's
a riot happening.
Copy !req
305. They've got hostages too.
Copy !req
306. Children. Oh, my God,
I left the children.
Copy !req
307. Sir, where did you say
you were again?
Copy !req
308. I'm inside the prison.
Copy !req
309. How long before the cops
come in and save us?
Copy !req
310. Well, I wouldn't hold
your breath.
Copy !req
311. Yeah, I got a guy
on the phone that says
Copy !req
312. he's at Horton Prison.
Copy !req
313. I-I don't know,
I'll ask.
Copy !req
314. Uh, sir,
have they raped you yet?
Copy !req
315. Ha-ha-ha!
Have they raped—
Copy !req
316. No! What kind of a fucked
up question is that?
Copy !req
317. Hello?
Hello.
Copy !req
318. You have a collect call from
a correctional facility from:
Copy !req
319. Do you accept the call?
Copy !req
320. Yes! Yes!
Honey!
Copy !req
321. Oh, Tom! What's wrong?
Copy !req
322. I was in the prison, and...
Copy !req
323. Riley had a shank and I—
I didn't throw it away
Copy !req
324. and then it started a riot.
Copy !req
325. Damn it, who let
that booty get away?
Copy !req
326. Don't look at me, I was fighting
with the guards.
Copy !req
327. Well, what do we do now?
Ask him, it was his idea.
Copy !req
328. I thought you had some
escape plan worked out.
Copy !req
329. Wasn't no escape plan.
Copy !req
330. Uh, booty is more
important than escaping.
Copy !req
331. So I said to myself
when I seen that shank,
Copy !req
332. "This an opportunity for me
to get some booty."
Copy !req
333. That was it? Nigga,
I thought you had demands.
Copy !req
334. Oh, I had demands.
Copy !req
335. I had demands
to get some booty.
Copy !req
336. I thought this was supposed
to be some Attica type shit.
Copy !req
337. Now, how y'all think
that make me feel?
Copy !req
338. Y'all let the booty get away.
Copy !req
339. Now I got to go
hunt down the booty. Damn.
Copy !req
340. Tom!
Copy !req
341. Please. Do what you want
Copy !req
342. to them two little
gorilla chimps over there.
Copy !req
343. But leave these beautiful
little white children alone.
Copy !req
344. Are you gonna rape us?
Copy !req
345. Do we look like priests?
We ain't gonna hurt no kids.
Copy !req
346. Now, that's good. That's good.
Copy !req
347. But it is okay
if you do hurt them.
Copy !req
348. Hey, nigga. Hey,
didn't I just say
Copy !req
349. we ain't gonna hurt no kids?
So shut the fuck up
Copy !req
350. and let me think!
Copy !req
351. No plan, huh?
We didn't exactly
Copy !req
352. put a whole lot of thought
into this,
Copy !req
353. you know what I'm saying?
Guess we just kind of,
Copy !req
354. you know, got caught up
in the motherfucking moment.
Copy !req
355. You have grievances, right?
Copy !req
356. Like a motherfucker.
Copy !req
357. Well, you got hostages.
Copy !req
358. Might as well
make the best of it.
Copy !req
359. Make a list
of reasonable demands
Copy !req
360. in exchange for the hostages
and this might all work out.
Copy !req
361. Hey, yo, what y'all think,
niggas?
Copy !req
362. Should we try to like, uh,
you know what I'm saying
Copy !req
363. and shit, like, uh, negotiate
Copy !req
364. with these motherfuckers
for stuff?
Copy !req
365. There's definitely some things
I'd like to see changed.
Copy !req
366. Me too.
Well, if we gonna do this shit,
Copy !req
367. we need to do it right.
We can't just be acting like
Copy !req
368. a bunch of wild ignorant niggas
Copy !req
369. out there just be shouting out
demands and shit.
Copy !req
370. We got a motherfucking
black president now.
Copy !req
371. Ha! Good luck! Baboon Bama'll
be in here soon too.
Copy !req
372. Hey, hey! You ain't too fat
Copy !req
373. and ugly to get raped,
motherfucker.
Copy !req
374. I apologize for my outburst.
Copy !req
375. I left the kids.
I gotta go back for the kids.
Copy !req
376. Honey, just stay there.
Let the professionals handle it.
Copy !req
377. No. This is all my f-fault.
Copy !req
378. I have to make it right.
Copy !req
379. I love you, sweetie.
Tom!
Copy !req
380. No,
please don't be brave.
Copy !req
381. Bravery isn't your thing.
Copy !req
382. I love you, sweetie.
Copy !req
383. If I don't come back,
tell Jazmine that I-I...
Copy !req
384. Okay, so all the motions
Copy !req
385. brought before this
motherfucking committee
Copy !req
386. to add, uh, a demand
to the official list of demands
Copy !req
387. will be ratified
with a motherfucking
Copy !req
388. majority vote, nigga.
Unless that demand is vetoed
Copy !req
389. from the committee chief
executive,
Copy !req
390. at which point it will require
Copy !req
391. a two-third majority vote
to pass.
Copy !req
392. Yo, who gets to be
the chief executive?
Copy !req
393. I'm the motherfucking
chief executive, motherfucker.
Copy !req
394. I didn't vote for you.
I thought this was
Copy !req
395. a democracy,
you autocratic motherfucker.
Copy !req
396. Come over here,
and say that shit
Copy !req
397. and I'll turn your motherfucking
teeth upside down.
Copy !req
398. The chief executive
is a rotating office to be held
Copy !req
399. by each member of
the Executive Riot Committee
Copy !req
400. in order of prison ID number,
Copy !req
401. for a period not to exceed
90 minutes' time.
Copy !req
402. Well, wait a goddamn minute.
Copy !req
403. Who the fuck is this
Executive Riot Committee?
Copy !req
404. Us.
Copy !req
405. Oh yeah, right.
Copy !req
406. Okay, good.
Copy !req
407. First motion to introduce
a demand for rafification:
Copy !req
408. all in favor of bitches?
Copy !req
409. Brother Huey, let the record
Copy !req
410. show that the motion has passed.
Copy !req
411. Please add "bitches"
to the official list of demands.
Copy !req
412. Yeah! Bitches!
Copy !req
413. Okay, next motion?
Copy !req
414. White bitches.
Wait.
Copy !req
415. Isn't that covered
in bitches?
Copy !req
416. Hold up! Bitches
and white bitches
Copy !req
417. is two different things.
Copy !req
418. Well, then we have
to go back and amend
Copy !req
419. the previous demand
to specify white bitches.
Copy !req
420. Why we gotta have
a white bitch
Copy !req
421. because you got a white bitch?
Copy !req
422. To me it's a wasted demand.
Copy !req
423. They never gonna give us
a white bitch.
Copy !req
424. They never give us one
if we don't ask.
Copy !req
425. We got to stand up,
Copy !req
426. and not just demand bitches,
but white bitches.
Copy !req
427. Well, fuck it then,
I want me an Alaskan bitch.
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428. Beggars can't be choosers,
motherfucker.
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429. We already asking
for bitches, all right?
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430. We have white hostages.
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431. We have the strategic
leverage to get white bitches.
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432. Man, y'all being
too picky, man.
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433. A bitch is a bitch.
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434. Man, look, look,
why can't y'all
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435. just shut the fuck up
and be happy
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436. with whatever bitch
we get up in here?
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437. I guess you never heard
the phrase "Yes, we can."
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438. It's my God-given right
as an inmate
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439. to have a white bitch.
That's not a God-given right
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440. for an inmate.
Or anyone else, really.
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441. Oh. Well, I may not have
a God-given right
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442. to white bitches.
But I do have a God-given right
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443. to ask for white bitches.
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444. Hey, man, the nigga
do have a point.
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445. Hey, he's right.
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446. Motion to add
"white bitches"
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447. to the official list
of demands.
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448. Everyone in favor?
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449. Motion passes.
Please add
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450. "white bitches" to the official
list of demands.
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451. Okay, next motion.
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452. I'm telling you
they getting bitches in here.
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453. As soon as they get
the bitches in here
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454. I'll stop tapping your ass.
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455. Okay, so the list
so far is: "Bitches.
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456. "White bitches, Asian bitches,
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457. "Brazilian bitches,
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458. "East Indian Bitches,
West Indian Bitches...
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459. Ruckus! Come on!
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460. "Broadband internet porn,
K-Y Jelly, Condoms,
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461. Viagra, People magazine,
and Alaskan bitches."
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462. Isn't there anything else
you guys want?
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463. You may never get
this chance again.
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464. Anything else?
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465. I thought that's what
the magazine was for.
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466. No. I'm gonna knock
that down too.
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467. What about an end
to the outsourcing
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468. of prison labor
to private companies?
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469. I like that.
Yeah, yeah. That's not bad.
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470. What if we keep doing
the work
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471. but they pay us
in white bitches?
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472. Yo, that's crazy.
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473. Man, white bitches.
I'd work my ass off.
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474. Come on.
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475. Follow him,
white children.
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476. Niggas know they way
through prison.
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477. Best, you know what? I'd love
to be paid in white bitches.
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478. Hey, yo, nigga!
Where the hostages?
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479. Thank God.
Is everyone all right?
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480. There's a service exit
not far from here.
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481. Aw, my precious
little white children.
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482. I told you, y'all would be safe
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483. with your Uncle Ruckus.
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484. Ruckus, where's Huey
and Riley?
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485. Where they belong,
with the convicts.
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486. You left Huey and Riley?
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487. Course I did.
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488. You guys go ahead.
I've gotta go back.
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489. Tom! Tom, are you crazy?
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490. Tom! Stay away
from that tossed-salad guy!
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491. You got peanut allergies!
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492. You! I'm talking to you!
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493. The booty is mine.
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494. It belongs to me.
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495. ♪ Tom, come out to play
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496. Ow!
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497. So you wanna do it
the hard way, huh?
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498. I got it for you hard.
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499. Ugh!
Don't drop the soap, Tom!
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500. I want that booty, Tom.
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501. You can't have my booty.
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502. Oh, yeah, I can.
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503. The booty is mine,
it belongs to me,
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504. you cannot take my booty.
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505. The booty is mine,
it belongs to me,
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506. you cannot take my booty.
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507. Mm-hm.
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508. Mm-hm, come on, Tom.
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509. You can't have it!
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510. Ah, man!
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511. Yo! Them niggas left without us.
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512. Ain't that a bitch.
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513. Whose job was it to watch
the motherfucking hostages?
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514. You forgot to assign
it to someone,
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515. Mr. Chief Motherfucking
Executive.
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516. Did y'all know about this?
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517. If we did, do you think
we'd still be here?
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518. What are we gonna do
with demands and no hostages?
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519. We got them.
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520. Man, we won't get
any strategic leverage
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521. with them two.
I motion we end the riot,
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522. disband the Executive
Riot Committee,
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523. and surrender to authorities.
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524. Okay. All in favor
of ending the riot.
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525. Motion passes.
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526. Wait a minute,
let me get this right.
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527. Do the, uh,
jelly go inside your ass?
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528. You know, I spend
a lot of time, you know,
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529. thinking about all the shit
I could've done.
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530. I mean, I wake up
in the morning and I think,
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531. I could've been
the motherfucking president.
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532. Shit.
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533. Nigga, I wish
things had've been different.
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534. I mean, I'd do anything
in the motherfucking world
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535. just for things
to be different.
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536. I guess I'm just gonna be
raping niggas' asses
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537. for the rest
of my motherfucking life.
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538. Boys! Boys, are you okay?
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539. Yeah. Are you okay?
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540. Yes. Heh. I'm okay.
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541. For the first time
in a long time, I'm okay.
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542. Of course you okay. You ran.
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543. How a chaperone
gonna run, Mr. DuBois? Huh?
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544. "Leave the kids, save yourself?"
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545. Is that what chaperoning
mean to you?
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546. Pfft. I can't believe
this is supposed to scare me.
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547. A prison full
of bitch-ass niggas.
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548. The convicts is bitch-ass
niggas. All they did was vote.
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549. The COs was bitch-ass niggas,
'cause they just fell over.
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550. And, Tom, you's a bitch-ass
nigga too.
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551. Because all you did was run.
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552. They wouldn't know what to do
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553. with a real nigga like me
up in here.
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554. Lucky for them
I'm a little kid
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555. so they can't put me
in a real jail.
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556. They gotta put me
in a jail for, like,
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557. real nigga little kids.
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