The Beverly Hillbillies 1x30

Harriet MacGibbon as Margaret Drysdale • Narda Onyx as Mlle. Denise

Mlle. Denise comes back for the birth of her dog's puppies, and to see Jed. They do some "courtin' and sparkin'" Mrs. Drysdale isn't nearly so happy when she finds the puppies share more in common with Duke the bloodhound than Claude the poodle.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - The Beverly Hillbillies!

2. - Excuse me, Granny, I'm going to the store.

3. Is there anything you need?

4. - I'll check my supplies whilst you string these beans.

5. - That's women's work.

6. - What'd you say?

7. - I said stringin' beans is women's work.

8. - It's anybody's work I tells 'em to do it.

9. - Well, I ain't gonna do it.

10. - Jethro, that's the first time

11. you've ever talked back to Granny,

12. and it's the last!

13. Now, you go out and cut me a hickory switch,

14. and meet me in the woodshed!

15. - We ain't got no hickory tree, no woodshed neither.

16. - That's the truth, ain't it?

17. - Yeah.

18. Hey now, what'd you wanna go and do that for?

19. - Now, do you wanna string beans,

20. or you wanna stand up for your meals for the next few days?

21. - I wanna string beans.

22. - Hop to it.

23. Let's see what I got here.

24. One deviled hawk eggs, two pickled pawpaws,

25. three hominy grits, one salted down hog jowls,

26. one sack of salt, one sack of sugar,

27. and one sack of dried beans, one skunk.

28. One skunk.

29. Jethro, there's a live skunk in that cabinet!

30. You go git him out!

31. I'm sorry, Granny, I'm gonna have to talk back to you again.

32. - Here, Charlie, here Charlie (smacking lips).

33. - Elly May, is Charlie a critter about this size

34. with a white streak down his back?

35. - Yeah, Granny, you seen him?

36. - He's in that cabinet over there.

37. Now you go over there and git him out!

38. - Come on, Charlie.

39. He likes to crawl in dark places and snooze.

40. - Elly May, I never said nothin'

41. when you drug home 14 dogs, three cats, a rooster,

42. and a duck, and a baby lion, and a brace of goats,

43. but by dingies, I ain't gonna hold still for skunks!

44. - Granny, you're scarin' him.

45. - What'd you suppose he done to me?

46. I've looked at many a sack of beans,

47. but it's the first one that ever looked back at me!

48. - I'm sorry, Granny, but I got him to help old Duke.

49. - How's he gonna do that?

50. - Well, Pa says old Duke was losing his smeller.

51. He can't trail nothin' no more.

52. So I figured if he could sniff any trail, it'd be Charlie's.

53. - Yeah, your Pa has been quite worried here lately

54. about old Duke's nose goin' bad on him.

55. - Smell that, Duke, nice big, fat rabbit.

56. Come on, trail it, trail it, Duke.

57. Come on.

58. Well, I think I know what you're gonna like.

59. A big, sassy fox.

60. Git 'em, boy, come on.

61. Come on, git 'em.

62. Git 'em, come on.

63. Come on, boy, git 'em.

64. Come on, he's hidin' in a hollow log.

65. Sniff 'em out, boy, sniff 'em out.

66. Come on, sniff 'em out.

67. This will get action.

68. A raccoon, this is your favorite.

69. Come on, git 'em, boy.

70. Now, come on, git 'em, git 'em, git 'em.

71. Git 'em, boy.

72. Git that old raccoon.

73. Come on, come on.

74. He kickin' dirt in your face.

75. You ain't gonna stand for that, are you?

76. Sure is a pitiful thing, Duke,

77. to have a nose that big and not have it workin'.

78. - Pa, Pa, is old Duke any better?

79. - Elly, honey, there's a dog used to able

80. to trail a butterfly through a swamp after a rain.

81. Now he couldn't smell cabbage cookin'.

82. - I got something here I'll bet he can smell.

83. - He won't do nothin', Pa.

84. He likes me.

85. - Yeah, but how's he feel about me?

86. - Charlie, this here's my Pa.

87. Now you be nice to him.

88. And this here is old Duke.

89. You let him get a good whiff and then he's gonna trail you.

90. - Now, Charlie, it's all in fun, no hard feelings.

91. - Maybe he caught your cold, Pa,

92. and got his nose stopped up.

93. - Either that or he just don't give a hoot.

94. - He looks worried.

95. - Elly May, all hounds look worried.

96. I have noticed him lookin' over at the Drysdale place

97. every now and then, kinda whimperin'.

98. - I betcha he misses Cotton Patch.

99. - Who?

100. - The white poodle Mrs. Drysdale brought over from France

101. to marry up with her poodle.

102. - Oh, yeah.

103. - She's in the hospital.

104. Been there a couple of weeks or so.

105. Reckon that's why Duke's a pinin'.

106. - Duke, you just have to get her off your mind.

107. She belongs to somebody else.

108. - Oh, Duke, don't cry.

109. - Uncle Jed, Uncle Jed!

110. Look what was in the mailbox for you.

111. Come all the way from Paris, France.

112. - For me?

113. - Says right on it Monsieur J.D. Clampett.

114. Hey, I betcha that's from that pretty French lady.

115. - The one that brought Cotton Patch over.

116. - Yeah, the one you was courtin' and sparkin'.

117. - What're you talkin' about, courtin' and sparkin'?

118. - Well, you shaved for her and in the middle of the day.

119. - And you slickered down your hair with smell.

120. - And you shined your shoes

121. and it weren't even Sunday.

122. - Put on your swallowtail coat and your courtin' derby.

123. - And then you went right on over to—

124. - Ain't you two young'uns got

125. some chores to do or something?

126. - No, Pa.

127. - Hey, why don't you open that up,

128. and see what that pretty French lady sent you?

129. - Probably ain't from her at all.

130. Probably just some catalog.

131. - From Paris, France?

132. - Elly, why don't you go out and help Granny,

133. and take Charlie back where you found him?

134. - Jethro, you take Duke for a run through the hills.

135. Do you both good.

136. - Well, where you goin', Uncle Jed?

137. - You just take care of Duke.

138. I'll take care of me.

139. - Come on, Duke.

140. Uncle Jed wants me to take you for a run.

141. Duke, you can't run unless you get to your feet.

142. Come on, Duke, try to get both ends up at once.

143. - Jethro, run me over to Mr. Drysdale's bank.

144. - Okay, Uncle Jed.

145. I can run you a heap easier than I can run old Duke.

146. - Wait a minute, wait a minute!

147. I mean run me down in the truck.

148. - Oh, oh, all right, I'll go fetch it.

149. - One of these days I gotta have a long talk with that boy.

150. - Oh, Chief, you told me to warn you if your wife came in.

151. - She's here?

152. - The doorman just called.

153. - Oh, well, tell her I've gone to Las Vegas

154. to get some money.

155. - Chief.

156. - Milburn!

157. - Oh (chuckles), Margaret.

158. - Claude has something to tell you.

159. - Oh, well, write me a letter, Claude.

160. I'm very busy right now.

161. - Do you know what day this is.

162. - Black Wednesday?

163. - It's homecoming day for your grandchildren.

164. - My what?

165. - I talked to the doctor at the hospital,

166. and he said Claude's wife and babies can come home today.

167. Isn't it exciting?

168. Aren't you thrilled?

169. - Beyond description.

170. - Claude is the father of quintuplets.

171. Aren't you proud of him, Milburn?

172. - Margaret, it is not unusual for a dog litter

173. to number 12 or even more.

174. - Why must you always belittle Claude?

175. You know how sensitive he is.

176. - Oh, I'm sorry, Claude.

177. Good show, congratulations.

178. Now, I got a lot of work to do, Margaret.

179. - You certainly have.

180. We want you to help pick five baby names,

181. three boys and two girls.

182. We want your suggestions.

183. - Well, my first suggestion is for you to go home and do it.

184. I've got a bank to run.

185. - Bank, bank, bank, that's all your dadums talks about.

186. Now, of course, the first boy should be Claude Junior,

187. and the first girl should be Claudette.

188. Claude wanted to name one of the boys after his dadums,

189. but Milburn just doesn't sound French.

190. - Hallelujah.

191. - Now, let's all sit down,

192. and we can go over my list of names.

193. Claude, you can lie down.

194. Poor darling, he's a nervous wreck.

195. He's chewed his nails right down to the paw.

196. - Well, I'm going to be doing a little nail chewing myself

197. after all this is over.

198. - Isn't it exciting?

199. - Oh, Mr. Clampett, how nice to see you.

200. I'll tell Mr. Drysdale you're here.

201. - Oh, no, no, please, ah, it's you I come to see.

202. - I?

203. - Yes, ma'am, you see, ah, this come for me in the mail.

204. I think it's wrote in French.

205. Would you ah—

206. - Translate (chuckles), I'd be happy to, sit down.

207. Ooh, Mademoiselle Denise (chuckles).

208. - She said she's gonna send me a picture.

209. - Such a beautiful woman, so sweet and so charming.

210. - Funny thing about her.

211. I couldn't understand a word she was sayin',

212. but I sure did like the way she was sayin' them.

213. - Shall I read the letter to you?

214. - Yes, ma'am, but eh, not too loud.

215. - Dear Mr. Clampett.

216. Here is the photograph I promised.

217. I shall be coming to Beverly Hills again very soon now,

218. and I hope that I may take one of you back to Paris with me.

219. - Well, I wonder which one of us she's gonna take?

220. Be a treat for Granny.

221. - No, Mr. Clampett, she means a photograph of you.

222. - Oh, I don't think I got none.

223. - Leave that to me.

224. It's easily arranged.

225. (clears throat) I read on.

226. Mrs. Drysdale has cabled me that Collette is expecting,

227. and has invited me to come,

228. and take my pick of the litter of puppies.

229. I am looking forward to seeing you then.

230. Sincere best wishes, your friend,

231. Mademoiselle Denise Bouchard.

232. - Mm doggie, sure is handy

233. to understand that foreign writin' and talkin'.

234. Reckon you could learn me?

235. - Oh, oh, well, well, ah, yes, in, in time.

236. - Today?

237. - I could give you a lesson at noon.

238. - How long would it take?

239. - Oh, an hour.

240. - Hour, that ain't bad.

241. - Well, I'll tell Mr. Drysdale and be right over.

242. - Thank you.

243. - Come in.

244. - Sure is gonna be nice talkin' foreign with you.

245. - How do you do?

246. It is good to see you again.

247. Thank you, I am fine.

248. How do you do?

249. It is good to see you again.

250. I am fine.

251. - Who you talkin' to?

252. - Oh, you're that foreign speakin' lady

253. that Jed got all frizzled up over (chuckles).

254. Come on in.

255. Well, sure nice to see you again.

256. - How do you do?

257. It is—

258. - Just fine, thanks.

259. How are you?

260. - Ah, how do you do?

261. It is—

262. - Just fine, thank you!

263. How are you?

264. - How do you do?

265. - I don't know whether you ah, don't hear me,

266. or you don't believe me.

267. - Granny, won't you, oh, hiya, ma'am.

268. Nice to see you again.

269. How are you?

270. - How do you do?

271. - Oh, just as frisky as a flea on a fat dog, thank you.

272. - Don't do know good to tell her.

273. She'll only ask you again.

274. - How do you do, it ah—

275. - See what I mean, kinda random.

276. Better take her out to the kitchen and give her some coffee.

277. - Ah, coffee (speaking in foreign language).

278. - Well, I reckon she could steer you up a bone,

279. but wouldn't you rather have a donut?

280. - How do you do?

281. - Get that coffee, quick.

282. - Thank you, Jethro.

283. - Uncle Jed, can I see what you got from Paris?

284. - Oh, I reckon not, Jethro.

285. Besides, it's wrote in French.

286. - Can you read French?

287. - Miss Hathaway's comin' over here to learn me.

288. Now, you pull the truck up out of the way.

289. Granny.

290. - Jed, you got company.

291. - Who?

292. - That beautiful foreign lady

293. that you were so sweet on from Paris.

294. - She here already?

295. - In the kitchen havin' coffee.

296. - Doggone, another hour and I'd have had my French lesson.

297. - Where you goin'?

298. - Goin' up to wash my hands.

299. - Howdy, Granny.

300. - Jethro, finish my sweepin'.

301. I gotta go someplace.

302. - No, ma'am, Granny.

303. - What?

304. - Sweepin' is women's work.

305. - You go cut me a hickory switch and you wait for me.

306. - Granny, I told you before,

307. ain't no hickory switches nor woodsheds in Beverly Hills.

308. - No wonder they have to have policemen

309. to watch the young'uns.

310. - (chuckles) I ain't gonna bite on that one again.

311. I'm too smart.

312. - Is that a fact?

313. - Yes, ma'am, Granny.

314. Uncle Jed said it's because I go to school.

315. - Oh, you're much too smart for a poor, old woman

316. that ain't had no schoolin' or nothin'.

317. - (chuckles) Yeah.

318. - That'll be the day

319. when you can outsmart your old Granny (laughing)!

320. - Hey, Uncle Jed,

321. you done shaved again in the middle of the day.

322. Hey, Elly May, Granny, come on in and see Uncle Jed!

323. - If your brain was as big as your mouth,

324. you'd be teachin' school instead of goin' to it.

325. - Pa, you done slickered your hair down again,

326. (sniffs) and put smell 'em on it too and shined your shoes.

327. - You better be quieting down, Elly,

328. or you're gonna get a mouthful of hat.

329. - Mr. Clampett.

330. - Oh, howdy there, Miss Denise.

331. You look as pretty as a bag full of striped candy.

332. Just my luck, another hour,

333. and I'd been able to understand every word she said.

334. - Margaret, this was my den,

335. and you said I could have it back.

336. - All right, dear,

337. if you'd rather I add a new wing to the house.

338. - Oh, nevermind, I'll keep on using the basement.

339. - Milburn, isn't it cunning?

340. - Where are the puppies?

341. - They're with their mumsy wumsy (giggles).

342. - I'm surprised you didn't hire a baby nurse.

343. - Oh, I must speak to the poodle pediatrician about that.

344. (gasps) Milburn, this going to be the most thrilling moment.

345. Our first look at our first grandchildren.

346. - Will you please stop calling them that.

347. They are dogs.

348. Now, let's have our look so I can get back to the bank.

349. - Oh, wait, dear.

350. Don't forget your mask.

351. - What, oh, for heaven's sake!

352. - Oh, it's that hillbilly beast.

353. Shoo, scat, you mongrel!

354. - Ah, Margaret, something tells me

355. you closed that window a couple of months to late.

356. - What do you mean?

357. Oh, Milburn, how are we going to break this to Claude?

358. He's already in analysis, oh (crying).

359. - Now, try again, Mr. Clampett.

360. Once more.

361. Good, now what does that mean?

362. - Um, open the window?

363. - No, that is (speaking in foreign language).

364. - Ah, the pen of my aunt.

365. - No, that is (speaking in foreign language),

366. is good day, my friend.

367. - Oh, that's right.

368. How long have we been at this French lesson?

369. - Oh, about 55 minutes.

370. - You say it takes a hour?

371. - That's right.

372. - Well, them last five minutes must be doozies.

373. - Now let's take.

374. Good, now what does that mean?

375. - Well, let's see now, ah (clears throat), a pencil box?

376. - Mr. Clampett, I love you (chuckles).

377. - Well, thank you, ma'am,

378. but since we only got five minutes left,

379. maybe we better stick to business.

380. - I think that ah, will be enough for today.

381. Where is Mademoiselle Denise?

382. - Oh, Elly May took her down to the cement pond

383. to meet her critters.

384. - Excellent, excellent.

385. - Howdy, you furry, little varmint.

386. - Well, if that's French, we've been talkin' it for years.

387. - I rather imagine she learned that

388. from listened to Elly May (chuckles).

389. - Jed, hey, Jed, Jed, Mrs. Drysdale's here,

390. and she's squawkin' like a two pound chicken

391. layin' a three pound egg.

392. - There you are, Mademoiselle Denise.

393. You may take this wanton hussy

394. back to the streets of Paris where she belongs.

395. - Why Mrs. Drysdale?

396. - Milburn, show them why?

397. - Duke, there sure enough is a family resemblance.

398. - He's guilty as sin.

399. Claude will be over later to demand satisfaction,

400. and to reap vengeance on this mongrel.

401. - If that means he's gonna tangle with Duke here,

402. I wouldn't recommend it.

403. I seen this old hound dog hold his own with a bobcat.

404. - And as for calling him a mongrel,

405. the bloodhound happens to have much more ancient lineage

406. than the French poodle.

407. - Milburn, are you going to tolerate this insult?

408. - Why not, I'm not a French poodle.

409. - Mrs. Drysdale, does all this talkin' mean

410. we can keep these here puppies?

411. - And this shameless, canine coquet.

412. Come, Milburn, it's time for Claude's tranquilizer.

413. - Well, is everybody stayin' for supper?

414. - Well, Granny, I kinda figured that ah,

415. Miss Denise bein' so far from home and all,

416. that ah, she might wanna eat supper out

417. at one of them French eatin' places.

418. - Well, good, if that's what she wants, let her go.

419. How many of us does that leave?

420. - Well, you don't understand.

421. I'd be goin' with her.

422. - My cookin' ain't good enough for ya, huh?

423. - Now, Granny, it ain't that.

424. It's just ah, I'd like to spend

425. a little time with her alone.

426. - Oh, well, why didn't you say so?

427. - Ah, Miss Hathaway, would you please ask Miss Denise

428. if she'd allow me to take her out for vittles?

429. - Certainly.

430. - Something tells that meant yes.

431. - Well, we're ready.

432. - We?

433. - Yes, you'll need an interpreter.

434. - Well, I ah.

435. - (sighs) Mr. Clampett,

436. if you're thinking three's a crowd, you're right,

437. but I've taken care of that.

438. Jethro (speaking in foreign language).

439. - Hey, Uncle Jed, Miss Jane says we gonna double date.

440. - Well, now, that wasn't exactly the way I planned, ah.

441. - Mr. Clampett, I told Jethro that if you went out tonight,

442. it would be a double date.

443. - Oh, well, then in that case,

444. I can't let you break your promise.

445. A double date it will be.

446. Well, ma'am, we didn't talk much,

447. but I can't remember when I've had a better time.

448. How'd you like it?

449. - Wee doggie.

450. - How about you two in the backseat?

451. Did you enjoy the double date?