The Beverly Hillbillies 1x20

Directed by Richard Whorf

Bea Benaderet as Cousin Pearl Bodine • Joi Lansing as Gladys Flatt • Earl Scruggs as Self • Lester Flatt as Self • Midge Ware as Louise Scruggs

Two of Pearl's most ardent former suitors come to visit her in Beverly Hills. Pearl thinks they're there to propose because a letter they sent mentions an engagement. But, the duo were actually referring to a concert they have in the Los Angeles area and in fact are already married. Jed throws a wingding for them and the duo play music for the Clampetts.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Oil, that is. Black gold, Texas tea.

2. Hills, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars.

3. - The Beverly Hillbillies.

4. - Uncle Jed, Uncle Jed! Ma, ma!

5. - Yeah, Jethro, what?

6. - When that boy gets to going he's a one man stampede.

7. - Nobody gets in his way. - Granny, granny!

8. Elly May, Elly May!

9. - Granny, did Jethro come through here?

10. - Granny, did Jed and Jethro come...

11. Granny, what in the world?

12. Have you been at your rheumatoid medicine?

13. - Well, it figures Jethro got to going so fast

14. he ran clean into the cement pond.

15. Something wrong with Granny?

16. - Well, I hate to tell you this, Jed,

17. but she's stiff as a board. (audience laughing)

18. - At this time in the morning?

19. Well, I never knowed Granny

20. to take more than a thimble-full at all.

21. She is stiff. Granny, I'm ashamed of you.

22. - Pa, this here's the letter Jethro dropped

23. when he fell in the cement pond.

24. He says he'll be right in.

25. - Oh no he won't.

26. Jethro, you stay out in the sun till you're dry.

27. - What's wrong with Granny?

28. - Go outside and chase Jethro till he gets dry.

29. - If I catch him can I wrassle him?

30. - No, Elly, just run him. (audience laughing)

31. - What happened? What hit me?

32. - Corn liquor, I reckon.

33. - Well, whoever throwed it at me left it in the jug.

34. - Granny, can you walk? - Of course I can walk.

35. - Let's walk over to the table here

36. and sit down while Pearl reads us this letter.

37. - Quit pulling the table away from me.

38. - Granny, and you and Miss Drysdale

39. been hitting the juice a little?

40. (audience laughing) - Of course not.

41. I never take more than a thimble-full and you know it.

42. - Granny, Jed, I can't read all the writing

43. 'cause the ink is run, but this letter's from Lester Flatt

44. and Earl Scruggs, and they's a flyin' out here.

45. - Hey, doggy, you hear that, Granny?

46. Ol' Lester and Earl's coming out here to see ya.

47. - You mean they're coming to see Pearl.

48. Them too always was crazy in love with her.

49. - Oh Granny, that was a long time ago

50. before they moved to Nashville and become famous.

51. - A man never forgets his first love, Pearl.

52. And you were the first love of both Flatt and Scruggs.

53. - Oh stop it, I was just a girl and they was just boys.

54. Big boys, I grant you. (audience laughing)

55. - I never seen two big boys

56. crazier in love with one little woman.

57. - They was all scrapping over you.

58. - Or singing to ya.

59. - Sometimes they'd do both,

60. sing a chorus and then scrap a chorus.

61. - You had their heart meltin'

62. like hog grease on a hot griddle.

63. - Now stop it, you got me a blushin.'

64. I don't want to hear no more about it.

65. - All right, Pearl.

66. - Remember the way they used to serenade me?

67. - Yes, Lester with his guitar and Earl with his banjo.

68. - Both of 'em singing love songs till their throats was raw.

69. Pearl, how come you never said yes to one of them fine boys?

70. - I just couldn't decide betwixt them.

71. They both asked me to elope, but I couldn't decide

72. whether to fly with Flatt or skip with Scruggs.

73. - Better decide now.

74. I'll bet that's why they're flying out here,

75. to get your answer.

76. - After all these years? Oh, Granny, don't be ridiculous.

77. - A man never forgets his first love, Pearl.

78. - Hey Earl, Earl, I think we better stop this song

79. 'cause yonder come our wives.

80. - Yeah, they're jealous of Pearl as it is.

81. - Well, they got a reason to be,

82. 'cause I ain't never seen a girl as pretty as Pearl.

83. - We have settled for second best.

84. - Why'd you stop singing, Earl?

85. - Yes, what was that song you boys were doing just now?

86. - Just an old tune we used to sing.

87. - Before we met you. (audience laughing)

88. - You going to use it in your Los Angeles engagement?

89. - Oh no, I don't think we'd better.

90. Say, Earl, it sure will be nice

91. to see ol' Jed Clampett again, won't it?

92. - It sure will, Lester.

93. - You know who they can't wait to see again, don't you?

94. - 'Course, the fabulous Pearl.

95. - We'll finally get a look at this raving beauty.

96. - I'm dying to meet her, aren't you?

97. - Can you make out any more of the letter, Pearl?

98. - There's another word coming through.

99. E-N-G-A-G, engagement!

100. - Granny was right, they's coming for your answer.

101. You got to get engaged to one of them.

102. - Oh, I don't believe it. After all these years?

103. - Pearl, you want to take my advice.

104. You marry that little Earl Scruggs.

105. - Don't you do it, Pearl. Take Lester Flatt.

106. - I aint' figurin' on marryin' nobody.

107. Now let's not have no more of this kind of talk.

108. - Well, ma, I'm winded but I'm dry.

109. - Jethro Scruggs! Flatt!

110. Oh, go change your clothes.

111. - Elly May, you out here?

112. - Yes, pa, over here by the water.

113. - Taught that rascal to swim,

114. now I just can't keep her out of the water.

115. - You and your critters.

116. Next you'll be teaching them dogs how to climb trees.

117. - Look up yonder. (audience laughing)

118. - Elly, quick as you can come on in the house

119. and give Granny a hand.

120. She's cooking for the big wingding tonight.

121. - We're having a wingding? - We sure are.

122. Earl Scruggs and Lester Flatt coming to town.

123. - I heard of them. They make records and everything.

124. - Them two learned how to sing and play

125. serenading your Aunt Pearl.

126. - Really? Well, tell me about it, pa.

127. - Your Aunt Pearl was just about your age then.

128. And she favored you a lot too. Real purdy.

129. Corn silky hair, just like yours, and a beautiful figure.

130. Well sir, she pretty near drove Lester and Earl

131. out of their banjo pickin' minds.

132. Tormented them boys till they finally

133. left the Hills and moved to Nashville.

134. - How come Aunt Pearl didn't marry up with one of them?

135. - Couldn't make up her mind, I reckon.

136. But she's gonna have to tonight.

137. Them boys are coming out here insisting on an engagement.

138. - That's how come we's having a wingding, huh?

139. - Yeah, back home we'd had a barn dance.

140. Trouble is these Beverly Hills places ain't got no barns.

141. - Well, couldn't be borrow somebody's barn, pa?

142. - Scarce as they are and us being strangers

143. it'd be too much to ask. (audience laughing)

144. We'll make do though.

145. I sent Jethro out with a truck to find some hay

146. and some corn shucks and one thing and another

147. and put 'em in the drawing room.

148. - Reckon he can make it look like a barn?

149. - I told him to do the best he could.

150. - Hey, ma, I got a surprise.

151. Come see how I fixed the drawing room up

152. for that wingding tonight.

153. - In a minute, dear.

154. I've got to decide which dress I'm going to wear tonight.

155. Do you think this one shows off my figure?

156. - Well, yeah, ma. But wear it anyway, it's pretty.

157. - Come on, ma, Uncle Jed told me

158. to fix the drawing room up like a barn.

159. See how you like it.

160. You ain't seen nothing yet, me, come on in.

161. - I'm surprised you didn't bring in a mule.

162. - That rascal get out again?

163. - Jethro, you're making me old before my time.

164. How could you bring this livestock into a mansion like this?

165. - It wasn't easy, ma, but I figured it out.

166. Took a truck up to the front of the mansion and—

167. - You get this livestock outta here

168. and you be quick about it.

169. - But why? - Because I say why.

170. Now take it out, take it back where you got it,

171. and I mean right now.

172. - Well, I'll do my best, ma.

173. But first I got to round up that mule and the other pigs.

174. - I should've married Lester or Earl

175. and maybe this wouldn't have happened to me.

176. - This is the special operator.

177. The number you have dialed does not exist.

178. - You sound like the same lady I was talking to before.

179. - Yes. I'm afraid I am.

180. - Well, then you put me through

181. to the same butcher shop I was talking to before.

182. I told that fella to send me a side of pork

183. and some pig's feet for tonight's wingding

184. and it better get here too, before I—

185. Nevermind, honey, it's here, and I gotta say, it's fresh.

186. - There you are, you little rascal. You're going home.

187. - Where are you going with that pig?

188. - Ma told me to take him back where he come from.

189. - That's true, she do.

190. Lester and Earl just called from the hotel.

191. - They're here already?

192. - Yeah, I told them to come over around six o'clock

193. for the wingding. - Oh my goodness!

194. I haven't even picked out a dress for tonight.

195. Oh Jed, how do you like this one?

196. - I like them all, I've already looked at six.

197. - I just can't decide.

198. - Have you decided which one you're going to say yes to?

199. - Nope. I thought I'd wait and see

200. how the years had treated him.

201. - Yeah, I reckon you're smart to look them over first.

202. Some folks ages quicker than others.

203. - That's right.

204. And don't forget them boys is pretty near

205. 18 or 19 years older than when I seen 'em last.

206. I'm pretty near 10 years older myself.

207. Jed, don't you go away,

208. I want you to see the rest of my dresses.

209. - Pearl, I ain't no judge of women's clothes.

210. - I need a man's opinion. Listen, Jed.

211. Mrs Lester Flatt. Mrs Earl Scruggs.

212. Pearl Flatt. Pearl Scruggs. (audience laughing)

213. They all sound good, don't they?

214. - Wait for us, driver.

215. - Louise, I think we're making a mistake.

216. Lester and Earl'll be furious when they find out about this.

217. - Let them be furious.

218. I want to get a look at Pearl before that party tonight.

219. I want to know how I'm going to stack up.

220. - But we just spent three hours at the beauty parlor.

221. You look gorgeous!

222. - So do you, but maybe Pearl looks super gorgeous.

223. - Louise, be sensible.

224. Our husbands knew this woman years and years ago.

225. Do you realize how old she must be by now?

226. - I hear they start very young back in those Hills.

227. Now we've come this far

228. and I'm not leaving until I've seen Pearl

229. - But this is going to be very embarrassing.

230. She's going to think we're a couple of snoopy worried wives.

231. - Aren't we? (audience laughing)

232. Look, Gladys, if it'll make you feel any better

233. we won't tell her who we are.

234. We'll say we're a couple of those

235. house to house cosmetic saleswomen.

236. - But she'll find out who we are at the party.

237. - Then we'll all have a good laugh over it. Now come on.

238. - Oh, howdy there, ladies, come in, come in.

239. - Thank you. - What can I do for you?

240. - We're selling cosmetics.

241. - You're selling what?

242. - Cosmetics, you know, beauty cream, face powder, perfume.

243. - Oh, thank you ladies, but I never use it.

244. - We sell it to the lady of the house.

245. And we understand a lady named Pearl lives here.

246. - Yeah, yeah, she sure does.

247. - Jed?

248. - Yeah? - I need your help out in the,

249. oh, I didn't know you had company.

250. - Are you Pearl? - Please be Pearl.

251. - Well I ain't. Who are you?

252. - These ladies sell beauty cream, Granny.

253. - You can see, I don't need none.

254. Come on, Jed, I need ya.

255. - Well, Pearl'll be down directly.

256. She comes down them stairs every five minutes

257. wearing a different, beautiful gown.

258. She's trying to pick one for the wingding tonight.

259. (audience laughing) Make yourselves at home.

260. - Howdy, do y'all think this dress

261. is fancy enough for a wingding?

262. - Well? - Back to the beauty shop.

263. - Pearl, Pearl! Didn't Lester and Earl get here yet?

264. - No they didn't and it's coming up for seven.

265. - Well, they better get here quick before Jethro

266. has all the vittles ate. (audience laughing)

267. - Lester, Earl, it sure is wonderful to...

268. (audience laughing) Where are they?

269. - Didn't come yet, Pearl.

270. - Why'd you call me, Granny?

271. - For you to stop that overgrown youngin' of yourn

272. from eating us out of a wingding.

273. He's done gone through my crawdad dip and my paw-paw spread.

274. And right now he's in there tossin' down

275. those pickled pig's feet like they was popcorn.

276. - Jethro, you come on out here.

277. - You better stop him before he gets into

278. the ham hocks on the turnip greens.

279. - Too late. (audience laughing)

280. - Them ham hocks sure was good.

281. - Jethro, did you eat all those ham hocks alone?

282. - No, ma'am, I done like you always told me.

283. I ate the greens too. (audience laughing)

284. - Hey everybody, I taught Skippy and Anya

285. a little trick to do at the wingding.

286. - Elly May, what happened

287. to that pretty dress you was wearing?

288. - Oh pa, I can't square dance in that thing.

289. And it ain't good for working with my critters, neither.

290. - If Lester and Earl don't get here soon

291. our wingding is gonna fall apart.

292. - I tell you, Earl, I just don't understand it.

293. Our wives spent all afternoon in the beauty shop

294. and then went back again tonight.

295. - That's what we get for marrying city women.

296. Yeah, I reckon we'll just have to leave the party tonight

297. at nine o'clock and go pick them up.

298. - I reckon so. - Hey, I've got an idea.

299. Let's surprise old Jed with that song we wrote about him.

300. - You're on.

301. - Come on, Skippy. Come on, jump, come on, jump.

302. THat's the way, that's a boy. Come on.

303. Come on, come on. Jump, jump.

304. Good doggy, come on, that's a good doggy.

305. - It's them! - They's here.

306. - That's Lester and Earl all right.

307. - Not yet, Jed, let me get upstairs first.

308. - What for, Pearl? - So I can make an entrance.

309. Oil, that is. - Texas tea.

310. - Come in, come in, you know Granny and Jethro.

311. My daughter, Elly May.

312. Where'd that song come from y'all were singing out there?

313. - We wrote it, Jed.

314. We heard about your good luck clean down in Nashville.

315. Where's Pearl? - Upstairs, waiting.

316. - Come on down, Pearl. (audience laughing)

317. Here's Earl and Lester, come on, we're waiting for ya.

318. - Lester, Earl, so good to see you both!

319. - Listen everybody, I hope you'll excuse us

320. for coming without wives. - You're excused.

321. (audience laughing) - We have a good reason.

322. - Of course you do. And we understand, Earl.

323. Let's all relax now and have some good old stomping music

324. and some of Granny's vittles

325. and get acquainted all over again.

326. - That's it, everybody's invited

327. into the drawing room for vittles.

328. I remember how you boys like a nice rump roast.

329. And wait till you see the beauty I've up for ya.

330. - Pearl, just a minute now, I want to talk to you.

331. - And I cooked up a great big mess of grits.

332. Some possum shakes, some sweet potatoes,

333. some some grits, and some pone. (laughs)

334. Elly May, look what your dog has done!

335. - I'm awful sorry, Granny, I'll get 'em right out.

336. Come on, Jethro, help me. (audience laughing)

337. - I declare if I ever did see

338. anything like that in my whole life.

339. - Calm down, Granny, calm down.

340. We wasn't hungry no way.

341. I tell you what you do, you come over here

342. and sit yourself down in this chair

343. and Earl and me will play you some soothing music.

344. - Jed, I just can't decide. I like them both.

345. - Well, you better get to liking one

346. better than the other one.

347. There's just too many pretty women

348. out here in Beverly Hills.

349. Now you take them two come to the door

350. this afternoon selling beauty cream.

351. If Earl and Lester ever gets to look at them

352. you ain't going to keep them on the string for long.

353. - Jed, I just made my decision.

354. - Which one, Pearl?

355. - Can marry neither one of them.

356. - Why not?

357. - Because I'll be busting up one of the most wonderful

358. musical teams in this whole country.

359. - How come you say that?

360. - Because the one that don't get me will be eat up

361. with jealousy and they'll get to fighting like they used to.

362. - Pearl, I believe you're right.

363. - Just let me get up the nerve to tell them

364. because this is gonna hurt.

365. - You've cheered me up.

366. I'm going out to the kitchen and roust you up some vittles.

367. Even if I have to open my last jar of deviled hawk eggs.

368. - Earl, I've got a good idea for our Los Angeles engagement.

369. - What's that?

370. - Let's ask Pearl and all the rest

371. of them to square dance on the stage.

372. - That's a great idea.

373. - Pearl, we got something to ask.

374. You know, we come all the way out here for an engagement.

375. - Lester, before you go any further, the answer is no.

376. (audience laughing) - What?

377. - No to both of you. - But Pearl.

378. - Now don't make her, boys.

379. This hurts Pearl more than it does you.

380. - Time heals all wounds. (audience laughing)

381. - Speaking of time, Earl, we're late, come on.

382. - We'll be back just as soon as we can make it.

383. - Pearl, they couldn't take it.

384. They run off just like they'd done 18 years ago.

385. - They left their guitar and the banjo.

386. Don't you think we oughta wait up

387. for 'em to come back for 'em?

388. - It might take another 18 years, let's get to bed.

389. They ain't coming back, Granny.

390. If you could've seen 'em run outta here when I said no.

391. - Folks, we'd like you to meet her wives,

392. Mrs Flatt, Mrs Scruggs, Gladys and Louise.

393. - Howdy. - Howdy.

394. - See Pearl, I told you if they ever met them two women

395. you wouldn't keep them on the string.

396. They married 'em on the rebound.

397. - Poor Lester and Earl, had to settle for second best.