1. The Beverly HillbilliesCopy !req
2. - Ma! Oh Ma!Copy !req
3. Here ya are Ma, the signs
all ready to put out front.Copy !req
4. - Yeee doggy, that's nice.Copy !req
5. - Aunt Pearl,
you sure do look pretty.Copy !req
6. - Ain't nobody can set at a pianoCopy !req
7. with the style of ya Aunt Pearl.Copy !req
8. - Aunt Pearl, where did
you get the cookies?Copy !req
9. Did granny make em for you?Copy !req
10. - No I started em off this
morning before she got up.Copy !req
11. - Granny's gonna whomp ya
for getting into her kitchen.Copy !req
12. - I didn't bother her none.Copy !req
13. Jed, what do you think of my prices?Copy !req
14. - Well is that what you've
been charging at home?Copy !req
15. - No, but Beverly Hills is fullCopy !req
16. of millionaires and movie stars.Copy !req
17. So I figured I could double
them and get away with it.Copy !req
18. - I reckon you might kin.Copy !req
19. I don't recollect seeing one signCopy !req
20. in this whole town
advertising yodeling lessons.Copy !req
21. - It does take a special knack.Copy !req
22. Yodeling does.Copy !req
23. - Hush Duke.Copy !req
24. - I know it hurt your ears Duke.Copy !req
25. Pretty soon me and you is going toCopy !req
26. take a nice long walk outside.Copy !req
27. - These your cookies Pearl?Copy !req
28. That I found in my kitchen?Copy !req
29. - Yeah Granny,
are you going to whomp her?Copy !req
30. - Of course not, Pearl just made themCopy !req
31. to give to her music pupils.Copy !req
32. - I figured that, so I drawed
some of Cider to go with em.Copy !req
33. - Well now, ain't that nice.Copy !req
34. - Looks like you two ain't
going to fight no more.Copy !req
35. - Aw, shucks.Copy !req
36. - Now you give a cup of this toCopy !req
37. every one of your pupils, Pearl.Copy !req
38. - Well thank you, granny.Copy !req
39. - Now Granny, this ain't none
of your hard cider is it?Copy !req
40. - Hmm, not specially.Copy !req
41. - See, it ain't my hard stuff.Copy !req
42. - You'd of had every
one of my pupils stoned!Copy !req
43. - Well if they're gonna
set here and listen to youCopy !req
44. they ought to have something to numb em.Copy !req
45. - Now you listen
to me just a doggone minute!Copy !req
46. - Hot diggity dog, they is at it again!Copy !req
47. - Jethro, you and your ma take the signCopy !req
48. and go on and take it out in front.Copy !req
49. Elly May, you and me is
going to pick the chairsCopy !req
50. and put them in the front hall thereCopy !req
51. for a Pearl's pupils.Copy !req
52. Granny, you pour that
cider back in the barrel.Copy !req
53. Gentle!Copy !req
54. Cause we don't want to blow
up all of Beverly Hills.Copy !req
55. - Come on cider, back to the still.Copy !req
56. If her singing don't stone
em, her cookies will.Copy !req
57. Surprising what a little cementCopy !req
58. will do in the cookie batter.Copy !req
59. - You think you're such a critic.Copy !req
60. Well, just for that—Copy !req
61. - How do you like it there, Ma?Copy !req
62. - Well, it's too far from the street.Copy !req
63. - How's that?Copy !req
64. - Take it out to the gate.Copy !req
65. - Okay, Ma.Copy !req
66. - Elly May, your Aunt Pearl would like youCopy !req
67. to put on that pretty new dressCopy !req
68. that she made for you and when the folksCopy !req
69. comes in for the lessons,Copy !req
70. you give them their numbers.Copy !req
71. - What numbers?Copy !req
72. - Well, Pearl wants everybody toCopy !req
73. take a number when they come in,Copy !req
74. that way it's first come, first serves,Copy !req
75. and won't be nobody trampled in the rush.Copy !req
76. - But, Pa, I was gonna take
Duke for a nice long walkCopy !req
77. so as Aunt Pearl's yodeling
wouldn't hurt his ears.Copy !req
78. - Yeah, I reckon it is a
might piercing for Duke.Copy !req
79. - Yeah, he can hear sounds that
ain't meant for human ears.Copy !req
80. - Yeah, and Pearl can make em, too.Copy !req
81. - How about cousin Jethrine
a-handin' out the numbers?Copy !req
82. - Well, Pearl wants
Jethrine to be a-playin'Copy !req
83. and a-singin' as a example
of what her teachingCopy !req
84. can do to a person.Copy !req
85. - Here, Duke.
Come and get it, boy.Copy !req
86. - Well, how about Granny?Copy !req
87. - I reckon things will go a lot smootherCopy !req
88. if we keep Granny away from Pearl.Copy !req
89. - Where's old Duke?Copy !req
90. I've got a used-up soup bone for him.Copy !req
91. - I ain't seen him, Granny,Copy !req
92. but it ain't like Duke
not to come when you call.Copy !req
93. - Give me the bone, Granny. I'll find him.Copy !req
94. - Well what about Pearl's numbers?Copy !req
95. - Well, you give them out till I get back.Copy !req
96. I got to find Duke.Copy !req
97. - You know, in my born days,
I ain't never seen a youngunCopy !req
98. as wild about critters as that one.Copy !req
99. She likes them all.Copy !req
100. Dogs, cats, squirrels, owls, eagles...Copy !req
101. I bet she'd even be friendly to a bat.Copy !req
102. - She is. Speaks to Pearl every day.Copy !req
103. - Oh, that's fine, Jethro.Copy !req
104. Now, you stay out here with the sign.Copy !req
105. You got your speech memorized?Copy !req
106. - I think so.Copy !req
107. - Well, suppose I was to
drive up in a car and stop.Copy !req
108. What would you say?Copy !req
109. - I'd say, Hi, Ma.Copy !req
110. When did you learn how to drive a car?Copy !req
111. - I ain't your Ma.Copy !req
112. - You ain't?Copy !req
113. - I'm pretending I ain't so
you can practice your speech.Copy !req
114. Now, start again.Copy !req
115. - How do you do, sir?Copy !req
116. This young beautiful widow woman here...Copy !req
117. - What do you mean, sir?Copy !req
118. - Well, that's what you
wrote for me to learn.Copy !req
119. - I wrote you 2 speeches,
one for men, one for women,Copy !req
120. I'm a woman.Copy !req
121. - I'm a man, so I learned that one.Copy !req
122. How do you do, sir?Copy !req
123. This young, beautiful widow woman here...Copy !req
124. - N-Never mind, Jethro.Copy !req
125. Just point.Copy !req
126. Say, "This way to the music lessons."Copy !req
127. Can you do that?Copy !req
128. - Yes'm.Copy !req
129. - Well, do it.Copy !req
130. - This way to the music—lessons.Copy !req
131. Excuse me, Ma.Copy !req
132. I'm sorry, Ma.Copy !req
133. - Honest to Pete, Jethro.Copy !req
134. - Duke? Duke!Copy !req
135. - Hey, here comes Elly May.Copy !req
136. - Have y'all seen Duke?Copy !req
137. - Well, I seen him run out the front door,Copy !req
138. but that was some time back.Copy !req
139. - Well, Aunt Pearl would you do me a favorCopy !req
140. and cut loose with a
short blast of yodeling?Copy !req
141. - Why, of course.Copy !req
142. - Thank you, Aunt Pearl.Copy !req
143. Sounds like he's over
at the Drysdales' place.Copy !req
144. - Hey, yonder comes Mrs.
Drysdale driving a car.Copy !req
145. Reckon she'd want to take lessons?Copy !req
146. - Well, Mr. Drysdale's
right fond of yodeling.Copy !req
147. Maybe she will.Copy !req
148. - Tried to stop.Copy !req
149. Purt near went off the road trying.Copy !req
150. - Well, that's what you
get for trying to driveCopy !req
151. and close the windows at the same time.Copy !req
152. - Come right in, Mrs. Drysdale.Copy !req
153. - Margaret, how nice to see you,Copy !req
154. I was hoping you'd drop—Copy !req
155. - Milburn, I insist that those hillbilliesCopy !req
156. next door to us be deported.Copy !req
157. - Deported?Copy !req
158. - At once.Copy !req
159. - Well, where to?Copy !req
160. - Oh, any place. Pasadena.Copy !req
161. - Oh, please Margaret.Copy !req
162. - Milburn, do you realize
that Beverly HillsCopy !req
163. is preparing for its
semi-centennial celebration?Copy !req
164. - Yes, but—Copy !req
165. - And do you realize that the eyesCopy !req
166. of the entire world will
be on our famous city?Copy !req
167. - Yes.Copy !req
168. - Do you realize that I am the chairwomanCopy !req
169. of the celebration committee?Copy !req
170. - Yes, but—Copy !req
171. - And do you realize
that famous personagesCopy !req
172. will be coming to our
home committee meetings?Copy !req
173. Well, answer me, Milburn. Speak up.Copy !req
174. - Oh, yes.Copy !req
175. - And do you realize that
they will have to passCopy !req
176. the Clampett home to get to ours?Copy !req
177. - What's bad about that?Copy !req
178. - They're out in front, that's what's bad.Copy !req
179. As I drove by just now, that Pearl womanCopy !req
180. screeched at me.Copy !req
181. - She was probably yodeling.Copy !req
182. - Well, it frightened me so,Copy !req
183. I almost wrecked the car.Copy !req
184. - Yes, she was definitely yodeling.Copy !req
185. - And that brown mongrel dog of theirsCopy !req
186. came running through our flower beds,Copy !req
187. making the most mournful racket.Copy !req
188. - No, don't worry dear, I'llCopy !req
189. take care of everything.Copy !req
190. - I've already taken care
of that unearthly howling.Copy !req
191. I called the dog-catcher.Copy !req
192. - But, Margaret, they-they
won't take Pearl.Copy !req
193. - I called the dog-catcher
to take their dog.Copy !req
194. - Mrs. Drysdale, the
Clampetts prize that animal.Copy !req
195. Elly May will be heartbroken.Copy !req
196. - Then let them keep it in the house,Copy !req
197. as I keep my French poodle.Copy !req
198. - Mrs. Drysdale, Duke is a hunting dog.Copy !req
199. He's used to the outdoors...Copy !req
200. - Miss Hathaway, I believe youCopy !req
201. have a telephone call to make.Copy !req
202. - Oh! Oh, yes, right, Chief.Copy !req
203. Immediately.Copy !req
204. - I've also taken care of
that so-called yodeling.Copy !req
205. I preferred charges against Pearl BodineCopy !req
206. for disturbing the peace.Copy !req
207. - Oh, Margaret.Copy !req
208. - Elly May, they're starting
to come, hurry down!Copy !req
209. - Jethrine, commence
a-playin' and a-singin'.Copy !req
210. - Okay, Ma.Copy !req
211. - Jethro, you're supposed to be out front.Copy !req
212. And them cookies is for my students.Copy !req
213. - I got hungry.Copy !req
214. They're crisp.Copy !req
215. - I reckon Elly's out lookin' for Duke.Copy !req
216. I'll hand out the numbers for you, Pearl.Copy !req
217. - Oh, Jed, start with 20 or something,Copy !req
218. so it'll look like we're
doing the big business.Copy !req
219. Enjoy your free cookie, and
you had a very good lesson!Copy !req
220. - But, Ma!Copy !req
221. - Next.Copy !req
222. Come in, come in.Copy !req
223. - Are you Mrs. Pearl Bodine?Copy !req
224. - Uh, Widow Bodine, they call me.Copy !req
225. - Are you the one who's
been doing the yodeling?Copy !req
226. - That's right.Copy !req
227. Give him a number.Copy !req
228. - Here you are.Copy !req
229. - This is my cousin Jed.Copy !req
230. - Happy to meet you.Copy !req
231. - And that there's Granny.Copy !req
232. - Here you are, mister.Copy !req
233. A little cup of cider.Copy !req
234. You're gonna need it.Copy !req
235. - That's one of my best pupils.Copy !req
236. Come along.Copy !req
237. Come on. Come on in.Copy !req
238. - What is it? What's the matter?Copy !req
239. - Chief, I telephoned the animal shelter.Copy !req
240. - They get Duke?Copy !req
241. - Yes, and Elly saw them.Copy !req
242. She followed them all the wayCopy !req
243. to the shelter and proceeded to,Copy !req
244. and I quote, "beat the living daylightsCopy !req
245. out of the entire staff."Copy !req
246. - Get over there right away!Copy !req
247. - Right, Chief.Copy !req
248. - Did Elly May Clampett do this?Copy !req
249. - If you mean that wildcat
in blue jeans, she sure did.Copy !req
250. - She clobbered me with a bone this big.Copy !req
251. Such a shot she gave me.Copy !req
252. - If the Dodgers are still lookingCopy !req
253. for a power hitter, we have found her.Copy !req
254. - Where is she now?Copy !req
255. - She's in the cage.Copy !req
256. Back there.Copy !req
257. - You thrust that child into a cageCopy !req
258. like an animal?Copy !req
259. - Heck no!Copy !req
260. She climbed in to be with the dog,Copy !req
261. and we slammed the door and ran.Copy !req
262. - I'll assume full responsibilityCopy !req
263. for all costs and damages.Copy !req
264. Release her immediately.Copy !req
265. - You release her.Copy !req
266. I wouldn't go near her without a whip,Copy !req
267. a chair, and a pistol.Copy !req
268. - Don't you worry, Duke.Copy !req
269. We'll get out of here.Copy !req
270. And when we do...Copy !req
271. - Elly May!Copy !req
272. - Over here, Miss Jane.Copy !req
273. Did you come to let Duke and me out?Copy !req
274. - Yes, but first you
must give me your wordCopy !req
275. that there will be no further violence.Copy !req
276. Those men out there were
simply doing their duty.Copy !req
277. - Okay, I won't hurt them no more.Copy !req
278. I busted Duke's bone
a-whompin' that big one.Copy !req
279. Well, open the other cages.Copy !req
280. - Well, I can't do that.Copy !req
281. - Well, Duke and me
ain't comin' out neither.Copy !req
282. - Elly, dear.Copy !req
283. The animals here receive
the very finest careCopy !req
284. and the kindest of treatment.Copy !req
285. If they were allowed to run loose,Copy !req
286. they might go hungry or
be run over and hurt.Copy !req
287. - Well do they have to
stay here all the time?Copy !req
288. - Oh no, only untilCopy !req
289. someone comes along who will payCopy !req
290. for their license and
give them a good home.Copy !req
291. I had to open my big mouth.Copy !req
292. - Good-bye.
- Good byeCopy !req
293. - Good-bye, now.Copy !req
294. - You come back, you hear?Copy !req
295. - Thank you very much, thank you.Copy !req
296. - Everything all right, Sarge?Copy !req
297. - Yes, Gray. The nicest
bunch of people I ever met.Copy !req
298. - Sarge, you haven't had a nip, have you?Copy !req
299. - Course not.Copy !req
300. Just a friendly little sup of kider.Copy !req
301. Uh, cup of cider.Copy !req
302. - I'm taking you to the diner
for a cup of black coffee.Copy !req
303. - Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
304. - Maybe you'd better.Copy !req
305. I just saw a car, and I can swearCopy !req
306. there's a dog driving it.Copy !req
307. - Miss Hathaway, is all them your dogs?Copy !req
308. - No, Mr. Clampett, they're yours.Copy !req
309. - Howdy, Pa.Copy !req
310. These here's all friends of Duke and me.Copy !req
311. - Weee, doggies.Copy !req
312. - Now, we ain't gonna
have no more slappin'Copy !req
313. or bitin' or scratchin' or spittin'.Copy !req
314. You two's got to learn
to get along together.Copy !req
315. Now make up and be friends.Copy !req
316. Come on.Copy !req
317. Kiss and make up.Copy !req
318. - Elly May, I think I got a job I'mCopy !req
319. gonna turn over to you.Copy !req
320. - What's that, Pa?Copy !req
321. - See if you can get Pearl and Granny toCopy !req
322. stop bitin' and scratchin' at each other.Copy !req
323. - Folks is a lot harder to
handle than critters, Pa.Copy !req
324. - That's the truth.Copy !req
325. Now you better get all
your dogs and cats outside,Copy !req
326. because the house just
ain't a place to keep...Copy !req
327. - Help, help!Copy !req
328. Help, help!Copy !req
329. There's a big rat after me!Copy !req
330. Help, help,Copy !req
331. help save me from the big rat!Copy !req
332. - This here's a dog, Jethrine.Copy !req
333. Don't be scared.Copy !req
334. Shame on you, Samson.Copy !req
335. You're always bullying somebody.Copy !req
336. - My baby's screaming, what's wrong?Copy !req
337. - Nothing, nothing, she's all right.Copy !req
338. - One of them dogs scared me, Ma.Copy !req
339. - Aww, well, there there,
baby, don't you cry.Copy !req
340. Don't you cry.Copy !req
341. I tell you, Jed, this house
is full of cats and dogs.Copy !req
342. How am I gonna give my music lessons?Copy !req
343. - Well, Elly May's just
fixing to take them allCopy !req
344. down by the cement pond, ain't you, Elly?Copy !req
345. - Yeah, Pa, I'll just run upstairsCopy !req
346. and put on my bathing suit,Copy !req
347. and we'll all go swimming together.Copy !req
348. - Yeah, but Elly May
was supposed to help meCopy !req
349. handle my music pupils.Copy !req
350. - Well, it don't look like youCopy !req
351. is exactly swamped, Pearl.Copy !req
352. - No, and I can't understand it.Copy !req
353. I even cut my prices.Copy !req
354. - Oh, come on, Jethro.Copy !req
355. Just a short ride?Copy !req
356. - I don't think Ma would like it.Copy !req
357. She said somebody's gotta
stay here with the sign.Copy !req
358. - Just a short ride.Copy !req
359. It such a beautiful day.Copy !req
360. - Gee, I'd sure like to, but I dasn't. No.Copy !req
361. - I'll tell you what.Copy !req
362. I'll let you drive my car.Copy !req
363. - Hot diggity dog, that
does it, I'm going!Copy !req
364. - Don't leave the
sign or Ma will be mad!Copy !req
365. - Well, I, suppose
that's part of his charm.Copy !req
366. - Danged if you ain't the biggest thingCopy !req
367. I ever did see that
wasn't pullin' a wagon.Copy !req
368. Now, you're looking at me asCopy !req
369. though you'd like to take me outCopy !req
370. and bury me and dig me up
later on and gnaw on me.Copy !req
371. Now listen, I got to get to that ice box.Copy !req
372. I'm losin' patience with you,Copy !req
373. you big overgrowed lummox!Copy !req
374. Now we're gonna seeCopy !req
375. who's gonna run this kitchen...Copy !req
376. You or me.Copy !req
377. And I say it's gonna be me!Copy !req
378. - Come on, fellas, let's go swimmin'!Copy !req
379. Thought we'd forgotten ya, huh?Copy !req
380. - Well, Elly, did you get them all now?Copy !req
381. - Yeah, Aunt Pearl.Copy !req
382. - Well, thank goodness.Copy !req
383. I'll be surprised if I got any voice leftCopy !req
384. after all these carryings-on.Copy !req
385. Go see Elly.Copy !req
386. - Rusty, now that you and
Skippy's such good friends,Copy !req
387. I bet you you'd like it
fine if you could swim, too.Copy !req
388. There ain't no reason that cats can't swimCopy !req
389. just as good as dogs.Copy !req
390. It ain't nothing to it.Copy !req
391. All you got to do is hold your head upCopy !req
392. out of the water, and
all your feet a-kickin'.Copy !req
393. Just like Skippy's doing, see?Copy !req
394. That there's what you call the dog paddle.Copy !req
395. But for you, we'll call it the cat paddle.Copy !req
396. Water ain't nothin' to be scared of,Copy !req
397. if you know how to swim.Copy !req
398. Watch and I'll show you how to do it.Copy !req
399. See? Just keep everything a-movin'.Copy !req
400. And hold your head up out of the waterCopy !req
401. so's you can see where you're going.Copy !req
402. And that's all there is to swimmin'.Copy !req
403. When you get good enough,Copy !req
404. one of these days I'll take you toCopy !req
405. the creek or the lake and
you can catch your own fish.Copy !req
406. Oh, Aunt Pearl's gonna set
them dogs to howlin' again.Copy !req
407. - No, no, Sarge, I'll
handle this complaint.Copy !req
408. Now, the chief wants that
howling and yodeling stopped.Copy !req
409. Mrs. Drysdale's putting on the pressure.Copy !req
410. - I can handle it.Copy !req
411. - Those hillbillies will just soft soapCopy !req
412. and hard cider you again.Copy !req
413. They won't get through to me.Copy !req
414. I'm a big city boy, they
don't speak my language.Copy !req
415. - I'm sorry Mrs. Drysdale
got upset about the dogs,Copy !req
416. but Elly May can handle them.Copy !req
417. - Well, she'd better
or I may have to placeCopy !req
418. her under arrest.Copy !req
419. - Elly May!Copy !req
420. Young feller here that
wants to talk to you.Copy !req
421. - Howdy.Copy !req
422. What you want to say to me?Copy !req
423. - Young feller?Copy !req
424. - Hmm?Copy !req
425. - What you want to say about the dogs?Copy !req
426. - What dogs?Copy !req
427. - I reckon the ones
that's jumpin' up on ya.Copy !req
428. - Oh, yeah.Copy !req
429. Wonderful.Copy !req
430. Beautiful.Copy !req
431. I love them.Copy !req
432. - Do you like cats?Copy !req
433. - I love them.Copy !req
434. - I got a cat that swims.Copy !req
435. - Wonderful.Copy !req
436. - He'd rather swim than eat fish.Copy !req
437. Come on, I'll show you.Copy !req
438. - Young feller?Copy !req
439. Don't you want to see the cat swim?Copy !req
440. - Who are you kidding? Cats can't swim.Copy !req
441. - Critters will do things for that girlCopy !req
442. they wouldn't do for nobody else.Copy !req
443. - Come on, Rusty.Copy !req
444. Jump in.Copy !req
445. Come on, Rusty, that's the way.Copy !req
446. Good girl.Copy !req
447. Good girl!Copy !req
448. - Ain't that something?Copy !req
449. - Sure is.Copy !req
450. - Now you can tell your friends
you've seen a swimmin' cat.Copy !req
451. - Who are you kidding? Cats can't swim.Copy !req
452. - Well, how'd it go?Copy !req
453. - Great.Copy !req
454. - Take care of the dogs?Copy !req
455. - What dogs?Copy !req
456. - Don't they have a bunch of dogs?Copy !req
457. - I didn't see any.Copy !req
458. But they got a cat— that swims.Copy !req
459. - Get in. I'm taking you to theCopy !req
460. diner for some black coffee.Copy !req
461. - You know, Pa?Copy !req
462. I never did figure out
what that fella wanted.Copy !req
463. - Oh, he'll be back.Copy !req
464. - Elly, you got to do
something about that dog.Copy !req
465. - What's he doin?Copy !req
466. - Well, he's diggin' a hole,Copy !req
467. and it makes me powerful nervous.Copy !req
468. - Granny, all dogs digs holes.Copy !req
469. - Yeah, but he's diggin' one just my size.Copy !req