The Bernie Mac Show 1x6

1. [ Children Shouting,

2. Arguing ]

3. SANCTUARY.

4. HOW Y'ALL DOING?

5. YOU KNOW, LOOK.

6. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A COMEDIAN,

7. AND I'M LIVING IN TRAGEDY.

8. SEE, I'M TAKING CARE

9. OF MY SISTER'S KIDS—

10. YOU KNOW,

11. UNTIL SHE GET OUT OF REHAB.

12. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE MY GUESTS, BUT

13. THEY ACT LIKE THEY LIVE HERE.

14. YOU KNOW, GUESTS

15. ARE SUPPOSED TO BE POLITE.

16. GUESTS DON'T WANNA BE A BOTHER.

17. I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT,

18. 'CAUSE, SEE,

19. I'M THE PERFECT GUEST.

20. YOU THINK ABOUT IT, AMERICA.

21. EVERY WEEK YOU INVITE ME

22. INTO YOUR HOME—

23. UH, BY THE WAY,

24. I WANNA SAY, THANK YOU.

25. I TELL A FEW JOKES AND I'M OUT.

26. 21 MINUTES, TOPS!

27. BUT SEE, THE POINT IS,

28. I DON'T OVERSTAY

29. MY WELCOME. SEE?

30. WE GOT A SAYING

31. IN SHOW BUSINESS.

32. YOU ALWAYS LEAVE THEM

33. WANTIN' MORE.

34. NOW, THOSE KIDS,

35. THEY DON'T LEAVE ME

36. WANTIN' MORE.

37. SOMEBODY BEEN USING

38. MY TOOTHBRUSH.

39. OH, THAT WAS BRYANA.

40. BRYANA HAS A TOOTHBRUSH.

41. GOT BARNEY ALL ON IT.

42. YES, WELL, SHE SAW

43. HER AUNT WANDA

44. BRUSHING HER TEETH...

45. WITH THE BIG PEOPLE'S

46. TOOTHBRUSH, SO—

47. - WHAT DID YOU DO?

48. I BRUSHED MY TEETH

49. WITH BIG PEOPLE'S BRUSH.

50. AND NOW I HAVE BIG TEETH.

51. SEE?

52. SHE WAS SO CUTE.

53. I COULDN'T STOP HER.

54. WELL, SHE WASN'T GONNA

55. USE MINE.

56. TRY SOAP.

57. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

58. THEY THINK THIS

59. IS SOME KIND OF HOTEL,

60. AND EVERYTHING IN IT

61. IS COMPLIMENTARY.

62. NEED SOAP? TRY BERNIE'S.

63. IT'S COMPLIMENTARY.

64. AND WHY NOT USE

65. BERNIE'S DENTAL FLOSS.

66. IT'S PROVIDED

67. FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE.

68. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST,

69. PLEASE FEEL FREE...

70. TO USE BERNIE'S TOILET

71. BECAUSE IT'S SANITIZED

72. FOR YOUR PROTECTION.

73. AIN'T THAT—

74. THANKS, UNCLE BERNIE.

75. WHAT?

76. - NO, BOY, DON'T FLUSH IT!

77. YOU SEEN MY SPORTS ACTION

78. MAGAZINE?

79. YOU SEEN MY SPORTS ACTION

80. MAGAZINE, WITH THE FOOTBALL

81. PLAY-OFF PREVIEW ON THE COVER?

82. MY DOOR WAS SHUT.

83. HAVE YOU SEEN IT?

84. NO.

85. I SEE YOU SETTLING RIGHT ON IN.

86. YOU MAKING YOURSELF

87. RIGHT AT HOME, HUH, NESSA?

88. GOT YOUR PICTURES UP.

89. LOOK AT THAT.

90. POSTERS OF KOBE BRYANT.

91. YOU LIKE KOBE BRYANT?

92. HE'S ALL RIGHT.

93. HE'S ALL RIGHT?

94. SHOOT. HE'S MORE

95. THAN ALL RIGHT.

96. WITH THEM BABY-LIKE

97. JORDAN MOVES GOING—

98. PEARLING. OW!

99. HE LAY THE BALL UP.

100. BOY, LOOK AT THAT. BAM!

101. I KNEW IT! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET

102. WHEN YOU TRY TO FAKE OUT

103. BERNIE MAC.

104. YOU GET SCHOOLED.

105. TALKIN' ABOUT I DIDN'T SEE IT.

106. LOOK AT THIS.

107. THIS WAS A COLLECTOR'S EDITION.

108. BUT DOES SHE CARE?

109. HELL, NO.

110. I DON'T GET NO "MAY I PLEASE?"

111. OR "CAN I BORROW IT?"

112. EVERYTHING COMPLIMENTARY,

113. THEIRS FOR THE TAKING.

114. THIS DOESN'T BELONG TO HER.

115. WHO DOES IT BELONG TO?

116. ME. BERNIE MAC.

117. WHERE KIDS CHECK IN,

118. BUT THEY DON'T CHECK OUT.

119. NOW YOU HOLD ON, AMERICA.

120. I WOULDN'T SAY KIDS WERE LIKE

121. COCKROACHES. I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

122. BUT I'LL JUST COMPARE

123. THE TWO SPECIES,

124. AND YOU MAKE THE CALL.

125. FIRST OF ALL, BOTH PESTS

126. GET INTO YOUR FOOD.

127. WHO TOUCHED MY FAMOUS AMOS?

128. BOTH PESTS GET UNDER YOUR FEET.

129. BOTH SCATTER WHEN

130. YOU TURN THE LIGHTS ON.

131. HA! I GOT YOU WITH THE GOODS!

132. YEAH, YEAH, I GOT YOU!

133. I GOT YOU!

134. I KNEW Y'ALL—

135. STOP TOUCHING MY FAMOUS AMOS!

136. YES, SEE, WHAT WE HAVE HERE

137. IS AN INFESTATION OF KIDS.

138. IT'S SMALL,

139. BUT IF NOT CAREFUL,

140. THOSE KIDS COULD SPREAD

141. ALL OVER THE HOUSE.

142. BUT SEE, I'M LUCKY.

143. EARLY DETECTION IS

144. THE KEY TO CONTAINMENT.

145. NOW, SEE, ALL I HAVE TO DO NOW

146. IS JUST DRAW THE LINE.

147. OKAY, WE'RE DONE WITH THAT.

148. NOW WE'RE GONNA MOVE ON

149. TO MARSHMALLOW PUFF.

150. NOW, YOU SEE THIS, KIDS?

151. LOOK. I'M GONNA DRAW A NEW LINE.

152. SEE THAT? LOOK AT THAT LINE

153. RIGHT THERE. NOW LET ME EXPLAIN

154. SOMETHING TO YOU.

155. YOU ALL CAN EAT

156. ALL THE MARSHMALLOW PUFF

157. YOU WANT DOWN TO THIS LINE.

158. WHEN YOU GET DOWN

159. TO THIS LINE, BERNIE PUFF.

160. NO MORE PUFF.

161. THAT'S ENOUGH PUFF.

162. YOU DONE HAD ENOUGH PUFF.

163. YOU EAT ALL THE PUFF YOU WANT.

164. AFTER THAT, BERNIE'S PUFF.

165. NOW, PEANUT BUTTER,

166. THAT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

167. LOOK AT ALL THE PEANUT BUTTER

168. YOU GOT. I DON'T CARE ABOUT

169. PEANUT BUTTER THAT MUCH.

170. BUT WHEN YOU GET DOWN

171. TO THAT LINE RIGHT THERE,

172. IT'S BERNIE'S BUTTER.

173. THIS YOURS. BELOW THE LINE,

174. BERNIE'S BUTTER.

175. NOW, LET ME EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU.

176. THIS IS KIND OF TRICKY.

177. ROOT BEER— A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

178. BERNIE DRINKS ALL

179. THE ROOT BEER HE WANTS

180. UNTIL HE GETS TO THIS LINE.

181. BELOW THAT LINE,

182. I DON'T CARE NO MORE

183. BECAUSE IT LOSES ITS FIZZ.

184. AND I REALLY DON'T WANT IT.

185. SO I DON'T CARE.

186. YOU ALL CAN DRINK ALL YA WANT.

187. BERNIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

188. I'M TEACHING THE KIDS

189. A NEW SYSTEM.

190. HEY, ABOVE THE LINE, KIDS.

191. BELOW THE LINE, OFF-LIMITS.

192. BERNIE?

193. YES?

194. CAN I TALK TO YOU?

195. SURE. REMEMBER.

196. ABOVE THE LINE, KIDS.

197. BELOW THE LINE, OFF-LIMITS.

198. SAY IT.

199. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.

200. WHAT?

201. THOSE KIDS ARE NOT

202. YOUR ROOMMATES.

203. I KNOW THAT.

204. ROOMMATES PAY RENT.

205. ALL RIGHT. IS THIS THE WAY

206. YOU WANNA PLAY?

207. LIKE A CHILD?

208. FINE, LET'S PLAY.

209. UNTIL YOU START TREATING

210. THOSE KIDS LIKE

211. THEY'RE WELCOME HERE,

212. BELOW THIS LINE,

213. OFF-LIMITS.

214. BUT THAT'S BERNIE MAC'S PUFF.

215. TAKING AWAY

216. WHAT'S BELOW THE BELT,

217. NOW THAT'S BELOW THE BELT.

218. IT'S EXTORTION, I TELL YOU,

219. AND I'M NOT HAVIN' IT.

220. YOU CAN'T BLACKMAIL

221. THIS BLACK MALE.

222. BERNIE MAC'S STRONG.

223. I CAN HOLD OUT.

224. YOU WATCH.

225. BELOW THIS LINE— OKAY.

226. WALK WITH ME, LORD.

227. I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF

228. THINKING, AMERICA, AND

229. I'VE COME TO A REVELATION.

230. THOSE KIDS

231. AREN'T MY HOUSEGUESTS.

232. THEY'RE MY FAMILY.

233. AND I THINK FAMILY

234. SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE FAMILY.

235. I'VE SOLVED THE ERROR

236. OF MY WAYS.

237. I'M OKAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO

238. TAKE THIS WALK WITH ME.

239. I GOT FAITH.

240. I TOLD YOU

241. I COULD DO IT, BABY.

242. YOU DID GOOD, BABY.

243. MMM.

244. I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

245. YOU DON'T HAVE TO

246. GET THE WHOLE STORE.

247. EACH OF YOU ALL

248. GET ONE SNACK. ONE.

249. THEREFORE, EVERYBODY

250. WILL HAVE A SNACK THEY—

251. SNACK, SNACK, SNACK, SNACK.

252. WHAT'S WRONG WITH Y'ALL?

253. YOU PUT THIS BACK.

254. PUT THAT BACK.

255. HO, HO, HO, HO.

256. MASCARA, BACK.

257. "B," THIS IS NOT A SNACK.

258. I'M GONNA PUT JUICE IN IT.

259. YOU'RE NOT GONNA PUT NOTHING

260. IN IT. YOU'RE GONNA PUT IT BACK.

261. A TELESCOPE?

262. SON, YOU GOT TO BE CRAZY.

263. PUT IT BACK.

264. - BUT I NEED IT.

265. - YOU NEED IT?

266. SON, I DIDN'T APPRECIATE

267. THE TOTALITY OF YOUR ARGUMENT.

268. I SAID PUT IT BACK.

269. - BUT I WANNA SEE STARS.

270. - YOU GONNA SEE STARS.

271. PUT IT BACK.

272. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG

273. WITH YOU KIDS.

274. LISTEN, WE'RE NOT HERE

275. TO GET TOYS OR TELESCOPES.

276. WE'RE HERE TO GET SNACKS

277. AND SNACKS ONLY.

278. YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

279. I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO

280. TAKE YOU KIDS TO THE STORE

281. WITHOUT THE RISK...

282. OF HAVING

283. A CORONARY INFARCTION.

284. IS THAT ASKING TOO MUCH?

285. SEE, YOUR PROBLEM IS YOU

286. ALL DON'T KNOW THE VALUE—

287. HI, BABY— OF A DOLLAR.

288. BUT THAT'S OKAY.

289. UNCLE BERNIE'S GONNA TEACH YOU.

290. SO THEREFORE, I'VE DECIDED

291. TO GIVE YOU ALL AN ALLOWANCE.

292. YEA! WE GET MONEY.

293. NO, BABY, YOU DON'T GET MONEY.

294. YOU EARN MONEY BY DOING CHORES.

295. AND AT THE END OF THE WEEK,

296. YOU ALL WILL RECEIVE $5.

297. YOU CAN BUY

298. WHATEVER YOU WANNA BUY.

299. YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK ME

300. OR AUNTIE WANDA FOR ANY MONEY.

301. - OKAY.

302. - COME ON. WE GOT PIZZA.

303. THANKS, SWEETHEART.

304. PEPPERONI. YEAH.

305. LOOK HERE.

306. YOU ALL GONNA LOVE THIS.

307. I HAVE INVENTED A CHORE WHEEL.

308. LOOK. SEE THAT?

309. SEE, BRY?

310. - IT SAYS I GOTTA DO THE DISHES.

311. - THAT'S RIGHT. AND YOU GOTTA

312. EMPTY OUT THE TRASH.

313. - I'M ALLERGIC TO DUST.

314. - OKAY. YOU TAKE THE

315. GARBAGE CAN TO THE CURB.

316. - OKAY.

317. - UNCLE BERNIE?

318. YES, BABY?

319. WHAT CAN I DO?

320. YOU MAKE THE BED EVERY MORNING.

321. NOW, LISTEN UP.

322. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

323. AND YOU PROMISE TO

324. GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE

325. PRETTY SMILES EVERY DAY.

326. - CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME?

327. - I CAN DO IT.

328. AH, NOW, HOLD ON.

329. YOU GOTTA SAVE SOME

330. FOR TOMORROW. OKAY?

331. NOW GIVE YOUR DISH TO VANESSA

332. SO SHE CAN WASH IT.

333. COME ON. COME ON NOW.

334. THIS WHEEL IS THE DUMBEST

335. THING I EVER HEARD OF.

336. BOY, IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

337. WE GOT A SYSTEM.

338. GOOD JOB, BABY.

339. TWENTY FOR YOU.

340. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR,

341. FIVE FOR YOU.

342. FIVE FOR YOU.

343. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

344. AH, GIVE ME THAT.

345. HERE.

346. BERNIE. BERNIE, GET UP.

347. HUH?

348. THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS HERE.

349. SO?

350. SO, NO ONE TOOK

351. THE CANS OUT.

352. WHAT?

353. THOSE DOGGONE KIDS.

354. JORDAN. JORDAN.

355. WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE

356. THE GARBAGE OUT?

357. I DON'T KNOW.

358. WHAT YOU MEAN,

359. YOU DON'T KNOW?

360. THAT'S HOW YOU GET

361. YOUR ALLOWANCE, SON.

362. DON'T YOU WANT YOUR ALLOWANCE?

363. - I WANT MINE.

364. LOOK AT THIS ROOM.

365. LIKE A PIGSTY IN HERE.

366. AND WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

367. WHAT IS THIS?

368. BOOTY.

369. LET ME SEE WHAT ELSE

370. YOU ALL AIN'T DONE AROUND HERE.

371. WHERE THAT CHORE WHEEL?

372. IT GOT THROWN OUT

373. WHILE WE WERE CLEANING.

374. YOU THREW IT OUT?

375. YEAH, WE DID ALL THE STUFF

376. ON THE CHORE WHEEL.

377. JORDAN, YOU DID IT ONCE.

378. YOU ALL SUPPOSED

379. TO DO THIS EVERY DAY.

380. YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD US.

381. IT'S HARD FOR ME TO TELL

382. YOU ALL ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

383. I'M GETTING WEAK UP

384. IN HERE FROM THE SMELL.

385. Y'ALL GET UP AND START CLEANING

386. THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW.

387. DON'T MAKE

388. NO DOGGONE SENSE.

389. GET UP! CLEAN IT UP!

390. - HERE.

391. - NO, NO, NO, NO.

392. BOY, WHAT YOU MEAN, "NO, NO?"

393. NO, NO— OH.

394. NO, YOU DIDN'T.

395. UH-UH. YOU SIT

396. RIGHT THERE. UH-UH.

397. JORDAN, WHERE'D

398. YOU GET THIS FROM?

399. I'M GONNA ASK YOU

400. ONE MORE TIME.

401. WHERE DID YOU GET THIS FROM?

402. - FROM YOU.

403. - I DIDN'T GIVE YOU

404. NO MONEY TO BUY THIS.

405. - YES, YOU DID.

406. - WHEN?

407. DID YOU SAY YOU WANTED PREVENTIL

408. OR THE GENERIC INHALER?

409. - WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

410. - THE GENERIC'S ONLY $8.

411. GENERIC.

412. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, JORDAN.

413. YOU LITTLE SNEAK.

414. JORDAN, DID YOU REALLY?

415. UH-OH.

416. THIS FUNNY?

417. YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE,

418. YOUNG MAN. I MEAN, BIG TROUBLE.

419. YOU CAN'T PUNISH HIM.

420. YOU WATCH

421. AND SEE IF I DON'T.

422. YOU'RE JUST MAD

423. 'CAUSE HE PLAYED YOU.

424. LET ME TELL YOU

425. SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.

426. THE BOY DIDN'T PLAY ME.

427. HE STOLE FROM ME.

428. LET'S CALL IT THE WAY IT IS.

429. THE BOY STOLE.

430. YOU SIT RIGHT THERE UNTIL I

431. FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUNISH YOU.

432. YOU ALL, GET OUT. OUT.

433. I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU,

434. JORDAN.

435. LOOK HERE, AMERICA. YOU THINK

436. I WANNA PUNISH THE BOY?

437. I DON'T WANNA PUNISH THE BOY,

438. BUT I HAVE TO.

439. THAT CHILD GOTTA LEARN

440. RIGHT FROM WRONG.

441. I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU.

442. IT'S GONNA HURT ME A LOT MORE...

443. THAN IT'S GONNA HURT HIM.

444. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S SOME BULL.

445. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

446. THE PUNISHMENT BALL IS ROLLIN'.

447. MY HANDS ARE TIED.

448. I DON'T KNOW, BERNIE.

449. NO TV FOR A MONTH?

450. AREN'T YOU COMING DOWN

451. A LITTLE HARD ON HIM?

452. THE BOY STOLE FROM ME, BABY.

453. WHAT YOU PROPOSE I DO?

454. I DON'T KNOW.

455. HOW WOULD YOUR FATHER

456. HAVE PUNISHED YOU?

457. MY FATHER? HE'D PROBABLY USE

458. THE NONCONFRONTATIONAL APPROACH.

459. BABY, I KNOW

460. IT AIN'T WORKING HERE.

461. WHY NOT?

462. BECAUSE I'M NOT WALKING

463. OUT ON YOU AND THEM KIDS.

464. WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.

465. I MADE MY DECISION.

466. THAT'S RIGHT. LET IT GET

467. GOOD AND COLD. 'CAUSE YOU

468. GONNA FINISH EVERY BITE.

469. YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN

470. JORDAN DESSERT BEFORE

471. YOU SENT HIM TO HIS ROOM.

472. THE BOY SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT

473. SOME COOKIES WHEN HE WENT

474. ON THAT SPENDING SPREE.

475. - HE DID.

476. - WHAT'D YOU SAY?

477. - NOTHING, WARDEN.

478. - YOU CAN GO IN THE ROOM

479. AND JOIN HIM.

480. - BETTER THAN LISTENING TO YOU.

481. - DON'T WALK AWAY

482. FROM ME, NESSA.

483. NESSA!

484. FINE! YOU JUST KEEP

485. RIGHT ON WALKING.

486. YOU GO RIGHT UP IN THERE

487. WITH YOUR BROTHER AND

488. STAY WITH HIM, NESSA.

489. I'M ABOUT SICK OF THIS.

490. I'M GLAD THIS HAPPENED. TIME

491. FOR ME AND YOU TO GET IT ON.

492. WHERE'S JORDAN?

493. BABY GIRL, FIND YOUR BROTHER...

494. AND TELL HIM I SAID

495. GET HIS SKINNY BUTT

496. DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW.

497. NOW, BACK TO YOU.

498. I HATE IT HERE!

499. YOU AIN'T GOTTA

500. STAY HERE, NESSA.

501. NOBODY KEEPIN' YOU.

502. YOU CAN LEAVE.

503. MATTER OF FACT, I'LL HELP YOU.

504. YOU KNOW WHERE YOU WANNA GO?

505. MONTE CARLO? SAINT-TROPEZ?

506. YOU BETTER PACK REAL HEAVY

507. 'CAUSE I HEARD IT GETS

508. REAL CHILLY DOWN THERE.

509. I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU KIDS.

510. I GIVE Y'ALL EVERYTHING. THAT

511. AIN'T ENOUGH. Y'ALL WANT IT ALL.

512. - UNCLE BERNIE?

513. - WHAT?

514. I CAN'T FIND JORDAN.

515. I LOOKED EVERYWHERE.

516. BABY, I LOOKED IN THE CELLAR.

517. HE'S NOT THERE.

518. BERNIE, LOOK.

519. HE LEFT HIS MEDICINE.

520. UNCLE BERNIE,

521. IS JORDAN GONE?

522. NAH, HE'S AROUND, BABY.

523. HE'S AROUND. WE'RE GONNA

524. GO LOOK FOR HIM.

525. HE'S ONLY BEEN

526. GONE TEN MINUTES.

527. HE CAN'T BE THAT FAR.

528. HE— COME ON.

529. COME ON.

530. IS THIS MY FAULT?

531. WAS I TOO HARD ON HIM?

532. OH, LORD.

533. WHAT WAS I THINKING,

534. PUNISHING THE BOY LIKE THAT?

535. HE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT TV.

536. HE'S JUST A BOY.

537. HE'S JUST A CHILD.

538. WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME,

539. AMERICA? YOU KNOW

540. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

541. I'M NEW AT THIS.

542. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, BABY.

543. WE'RE GONNA FIND HIM.

544. I'LL BET YA THAT.

545. IF IT TAKE ALL NIGHT.

546. DON'T WORRY, BABY.

547. WE'RE GONNA FIND HIM.

548. VANESSA, I NEED YOU TO THINK

549. OF WHERE YOUR BROTHER COULD BE.

550. I DON'T KNOW.

551. - THINK, NESSA! DOGGONE, THINK!

552. - HEY, I'M NOT THE ONE

553. WHO MADE HIM LEAVE.

554. - HE THE ONE WHO STOLE! I DIDN'T

555. MAKE HIM LEAVE NOWHERE!

556. - STOP IT, YOU TWO.

557. - THIS ISN'T HELPING.

558. - RIGHT, NESSA,

559. THIS AIN'T HELPING.

560. SORRY, GUARDIAN.

561. SHE CALLED ME A GUARDIAN.

562. I DESERVE IT.

563. THE GIRL'S RIGHT.

564. BUT I KNOW ONE THING.

565. I'LL TELL YOU LATER.

566. I GOTTA GO FIND THAT BOY.

567. I NEVER, NEVER MEANT

568. FOR NONE OF THIS TO HAPPEN.

569. YOU KNOW THAT, BABY.

570. YOU KNOW THAT.

571. I LOVE ALL YOU KIDS.

572. I MEAN, EVERY LAST—

573. IF ANYTHING HAPPEN

574. TO ONE OF Y'ALL, I'LL DIE.

575. - THERE'S SOMETHING ON THE ROOF.

576. - WHAT?

577. BABY, IT'S JORDAN!

578. HE'S ON THE ROOF! JORDAN!

579. - WHAT'S HE HOLDING?

580. - SWEET LORD.

581. JORDAN!

582. I KNOW UNCLE BERNIE'S

583. BEEN HARD ON YOU, SON,

584. BUT PLEASE, DON'T TAKE IT OUT

585. ON THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

586. - BABY, THAT BOY GOT A RIFLE.

587. - IT'S A TELESCOPE.

588. WHAT?

589. JORDAN? JORDAN?

590. SON? WHAT YOU DOIN'

591. UP HERE?

592. YOU HAD US WORRIED SICK

593. ABOUT YOU.

594. I WANTED TO SEE IT.

595. BUT I CAN'T.

596. I CAN'T SEE IT.

597. YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT?

598. THE SEARS TOWER.

599. THE SEARS TOWER?

600. THAT'S IN CHICAGO.

601. I KNOW.

602. I WANTED TO SEE HOME.

603. HOME?

604. OH, JORDAN.

605. YOU WANNA SEE YOUR REAL HOME.

606. YOU MISS YOUR MOM.

607. HOW 'BOUT THAT?

608. ALL THIS TIME, I'M THINKING

609. HOW SPOILED THOSE KIDS ARE,

610. TAKING WHATEVER THEY WANT.

611. NEVER REALIZING WHAT

612. THEY REALLY WANT IS TO

613. BE BACK IN THE PROJECTS.

614. ISN'T THAT THE MOST STUPID THING

615. YOU EVER HEARD?

616. OH, THOSE BEAUTIFUL,

617. STUPID KIDS. I LOVE 'EM.

618. YOU KNOW, JORDAN,

619. I KNOW SOMETIME...

620. YOU MISS YOUR MOM.

621. BUT YOUR MOM NEEDS YOU

622. TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW.

623. AND I KNOW SOMETIMES, MAN,

624. I MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE

625. YOU'RE IN THE WAY.

626. AND THAT'S WRONG, JORDAN.

627. LONG AS YOU'RE HERE, I WANT YOU

628. TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE AT HOME.

629. 'CAUSE, SEE, WE FAMILY.

630. AND FAMILY NEED TO BE AT HOME.

631. YOU UNDERSTAND?

632. COME ON, SON.

633. LET'S GO INSIDE.

634. CAN I WATCH TV?

635. YEAH, YOU CAN WATCH TV.

636. WHY WOULDN'T YOU BE ABLE

637. TO WATCH TV?

638. Y'ALL THOUGHT

639. HE HAD ME, DIDN'T YOU?

640. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.

641. BE CAREFUL.

642. DOGGY, DOGGY, DOGGY.

643. DOGGY, DOGGY, DOGGY.

644. OW.

645. WHAT'S WRONG?

646. IT'S COLD.

647. IT'S ICE CREAM.

648. - STOP IT.

649. - DUH.

650. WELL, THERE YOU

651. HAVE IT, AMERICA.

652. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

653. OH, BABY.

654. WHAT'S THAT FOR?

655. FOR FINDING MY BROTHER.

656. AH, NESSA.

657. COME HERE, BABY.

658. I GOTTA GO.

659. I AIN'T GONNA NEVER UNDERSTAND

660. THAT CHILD. NEVER.

661. NO, BOY, DON'T FLUSH IT!

662. NO, NO!

663. NO, BOY, DON'T FLUSH IT!

664. - NO! NO! NO!

665. WHAT THE—