1. Captioning sponsored byCopy !req
2. FOX BROADCASTING COMPANYCopy !req
3. and REGENCY TELEVISIONCopy !req
4. America, we've had someCopy !req
5. good times together, right?Copy !req
6. So now you know me.Copy !req
7. Even with the television show,Copy !req
8. I'm still Bernie Mac.Copy !req
9. I still say the thingsCopy !req
10. you want to say, but you can't.Copy !req
11. I'm not saying it's easy.Copy !req
12. See, every week somebody'sCopy !req
13. in my face, talking aboutCopy !req
14. "Bernie Mac, you can't say this.Copy !req
15. Bernie Mac, you can't say that."Copy !req
16. I told you televisionCopy !req
17. was not going to change meCopy !req
18. and it hasn't.Copy !req
19. I still say what I want.Copy !req
20. You hear me?Copy !req
21. I'm still not sureCopy !req
22. what the problem is.Copy !req
23. Is Bryana hurt?Copy !req
24. Oh, something she said.Copy !req
25. Well, what did she say?Copy !req
26. You don't want to discuss itCopy !req
27. over the phone?Copy !req
28. Okay, I'm on my way.Copy !req
29. What did baby girl say?Copy !req
30. I thought in the timeCopy !req
31. it would take you to get hereCopy !req
32. I would have the courageCopy !req
33. to repeat it.Copy !req
34. But, um...Copy !req
35. You can't say it?Copy !req
36. Well, can you write it down?Copy !req
37. I already did.Copy !req
38. Baby girl said this?Copy !req
39. Now, see, whatCopy !req
40. I cannot understand, Mr. MacCopy !req
41. is where she could haveCopy !req
42. heard it.Copy !req
43. I mean, who would have saidCopy !req
44. such an ugly,Copy !req
45. hateful, angry thing?Copy !req
46. Hey, baby?Copy !req
47. Hmm?Copy !req
48. The phone bill'sCopy !req
49. kind of high this month.Copy !req
50. Look at that.Copy !req
51. Oh, Vanessa wasCopy !req
52. doing good in schoolCopy !req
53. so I let herCopy !req
54. call some friends.Copy !req
55. Nessa?Copy !req
56. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
57. You still gotCopy !req
58. to watch her, baby.Copy !req
59. I mean, she alreadyCopy !req
60. thinks we're rich.Copy !req
61. Well, compared toCopy !req
62. where she's from...Copy !req
63. Yeah, but she thinksCopy !req
64. we're all country club rich.Copy !req
65. Old money rich.Copy !req
66. Shoot, we're justCopy !req
67. Nigga rich.Copy !req
68. What?Copy !req
69. Look at that.Copy !req
70. I don't mean to talkCopy !req
71. out of turnCopy !req
72. but we here at WellingtonCopy !req
73. don't consider this to beCopy !req
74. appropriate language.Copy !req
75. You know, I agreeCopy !req
76. and I'm going to talkCopy !req
77. to baby girlCopy !req
78. and I guarantee you she willCopy !req
79. never use that word again.Copy !req
80. Well, that's great.Copy !req
81. But, Mr. Mac?Copy !req
82. Yes?Copy !req
83. I don't mean to talkCopy !req
84. out of turn againCopy !req
85. but I'm not sure thatCopy !req
86. it's appropriateCopy !req
87. for anyone to say.Copy !req
88. Well, it's...Copy !req
89. Look, I don't mean to overstep.Copy !req
90. No, no, no. Step.Copy !req
91. I mean, maybe I'm not inCopy !req
92. a position to say...Copy !req
93. No, no, you're in a position.Copy !req
94. If I'm speaking out of turn...Copy !req
95. It's your turn to speak.Copy !req
96. But isn't this such an uglyCopy !req
97. hateful,Copy !req
98. angry word?Copy !req
99. You know, let me explain.Copy !req
100. I'm not quite sureCopy !req
101. I really know how to explainCopy !req
102. but when I was growing upCopy !req
103. we used this wordCopy !req
104. in many different waysCopy !req
105. and we didn't reallyCopy !req
106. mean anything by it.Copy !req
107. For example, if someoneCopy !req
108. did something ridiculousCopy !req
109. we would say,Copy !req
110. "Look at that crazy..."Copy !req
111. Or if a brotherCopy !req
112. was real toughCopy !req
113. we'd say,Copy !req
114. "That's one bad..."Copy !req
115. You know, or ifCopy !req
116. a cat smelled real badCopy !req
117. we would say,Copy !req
118. "Old stinkin'..."Copy !req
119. Okay. Thank you, Mr. Mac.Copy !req
120. I understand your point.Copy !req
121. Now hold up, America.Copy !req
122. See, Bernie Mac is not condoningCopy !req
123. the use of this word.Copy !req
124. I'm just trying to explainCopy !req
125. to herCopy !req
126. how I used it in the pastCopy !req
127. and I'm quite sureCopy !req
128. some of you...Copy !req
129. But that's all right.Copy !req
130. Bernie Mac ain't mad at you.Copy !req
131. Anyway, I've used it, too.Copy !req
132. See, I'm just being truthfulCopy !req
133. so before y'all startCopy !req
134. casting stonesCopy !req
135. let's move on.Copy !req
136. Let me sh...Copy !req
137. No, y'all don't need to seeCopy !req
138. everything.Copy !req
139. You don't need to knowCopy !req
140. everything.Copy !req
141. She said, "N..."Copy !req
142. ( talking whileCopy !req
143. brushing teeth )Copy !req
144. everybody watching meCopy !req
145. and I ain't got no privacy.Copy !req
146. I understand, baby.Copy !req
147. But we should watchCopy !req
148. what we say in frontCopy !req
149. of Bryana, though.Copy !req
150. Honestly, sweetheartCopy !req
151. I didn't knowCopy !req
152. she was over there.Copy !req
153. I wasn't tryingCopy !req
154. to hurt nobody.Copy !req
155. She alreadyCopy !req
156. eavesdropping.Copy !req
157. Honey...Copy !req
158. I think it's moreCopy !req
159. than that, you know?Copy !req
160. When it was justCopy !req
161. you and me in the houseCopy !req
162. there were certain thingsCopy !req
163. that we could doCopy !req
164. certain thingsCopy !req
165. that we could sayCopy !req
166. and now we haveCopy !req
167. a house full of kids.Copy !req
168. We're role models now.Copy !req
169. Role models!Copy !req
170. Role model?Copy !req
171. Huh. I'm already a role model.Copy !req
172. Oh, come on, America.Copy !req
173. Y'all see me every week.Copy !req
174. I feed those kids,Copy !req
175. I keep them in lineCopy !req
176. I put a roof over their headCopy !req
177. and you're going to tell meCopy !req
178. I'm not a role model?Copy !req
179. Please. That's not granted.Copy !req
180. Sometimes my methods areCopy !req
181. a little coarseCopy !req
182. but I don't have anyCopy !req
183. outside kidsCopy !req
184. you know what I'm saying?Copy !req
185. Now, see, Bernie Mac,Copy !req
186. he's one of those...Copy !req
187. Uncle Bernie?Copy !req
188. Did I say something bad?Copy !req
189. Come here, baby girl.Copy !req
190. Oh...Copy !req
191. You know...Copy !req
192. I said something badCopy !req
193. and I shouldn'tCopy !req
194. have said it.Copy !req
195. My big mouth.Copy !req
196. And I don't ever want youCopy !req
197. to say it again, okay?Copy !req
198. Okay.Copy !req
199. Uncle Bernie?Copy !req
200. Hmm?Copy !req
201. Are you goingCopy !req
202. to say it anymore?Copy !req
203. I'm going to tryCopy !req
204. my best not toCopy !req
205. and I want you to pray forCopy !req
206. your Uncle Bernie, okay?Copy !req
207. Okay.Copy !req
208. Now do me a favor.Copy !req
209. I want you to goCopy !req
210. in the kitchenCopy !req
211. pour yourselfCopy !req
212. some chocolate milkCopy !req
213. and I'm goingCopy !req
214. to come in thereCopy !req
215. and we're going to haveCopy !req
216. some together, okay?Copy !req
217. Okay.Copy !req
218. Hey, I love you.Copy !req
219. You didn't say nothing back.Copy !req
220. There you have it, America.Copy !req
221. I guess Bernie MacCopy !req
222. can't say whatever he wants.Copy !req
223. All right, I learned my lesson.Copy !req
224. End of story.Copy !req
225. Sorry, America,Copy !req
226. I guess it's a short one tonightCopy !req
227. and I don't thinkCopy !req
228. I need to tie up any loose endsCopy !req
229. you know what I mean?Copy !req
230. So, what can I possibly sayCopy !req
231. right now?Copy !req
232. What could be said?Copy !req
233. Come on, Mr. Cooley.Copy !req
234. What do you meanCopy !req
235. we got a problem?Copy !req
236. No, I saidCopy !req
237. "potential problem."Copy !req
238. Potential problem?Copy !req
239. Well, Mr. MacCopy !req
240. the teacher doesn't wantCopy !req
241. to talk out of turnCopy !req
242. but she's concerned aboutCopy !req
243. your choice of wordsCopy !req
244. around the children.Copy !req
245. They seem hostile to her.Copy !req
246. Hostile? Cooley, I ain't saidCopy !req
247. nothing hostile to those kids.Copy !req
248. Well, weren't you angryCopy !req
249. about a phone bill?Copy !req
250. Yeah, I was ang...Copy !req
251. I mean, I wasn't angryCopy !req
252. when I said...Copy !req
253. Um...Copy !req
254. I know she told youCopy !req
255. what I said.Copy !req
256. Once again, she didn't wantCopy !req
257. to talk out of turn.Copy !req
258. For somebody who doesn't wantCopy !req
259. to talk out of turnCopy !req
260. she sure is bumping her gums.Copy !req
261. Mr. Mac...Copy !req
262. Come on!Copy !req
263. You've known meCopy !req
264. for a while now.Copy !req
265. I'm a good person.Copy !req
266. I do good by those kids, man.Copy !req
267. You know, and I mean,Copy !req
268. to some other kidCopy !req
269. I'd probably be a role model.Copy !req
270. I'm not going to file a report.Copy !req
271. This was obviouslyCopy !req
272. a misunderstanding.Copy !req
273. All right, fine, that'sCopy !req
274. what I'm talking about.Copy !req
275. So we're cool again, right?Copy !req
276. Just one word in advice.Copy !req
277. I know her kind.Copy !req
278. She's one of thoseCopy !req
279. touchy-feely Berkeley types.Copy !req
280. Just be extra-carefulCopy !req
281. what you say around herCopy !req
282. especially in anger.Copy !req
283. Oh, come on now,Copy !req
284. Cooley, come on...Copy !req
285. Then you won't haveCopy !req
286. to have somebody like meCopy !req
287. coming aroundCopy !req
288. and wasting your time.Copy !req
289. I want to go play.Copy !req
290. No, you don't.Copy !req
291. You're going to sitCopy !req
292. right thereCopy !req
293. and you're going toCopy !req
294. wait on your sister.Copy !req
295. Come on, Uncle Bernie.Copy !req
296. Jordan, I said sit thereCopy !req
297. and wait on your sister.Copy !req
298. That's what I mean.Copy !req
299. You want to race?Copy !req
300. No, I don't want to race.Copy !req
301. I just want to sit right hereCopy !req
302. and wait on your sister.Copy !req
303. There she is.Copy !req
304. Jordan! No, you don't.Copy !req
305. You better not haveCopy !req
306. put a dent in my car, I swear.Copy !req
307. There's a dent,Copy !req
308. I'll put your handCopy !req
309. right in the door and smash it.Copy !req
310. I'm not kidding.Copy !req
311. Every time I try to tell youCopy !req
312. something...Copy !req
313. ( yells ):Copy !req
314. Oh, Jordan!Copy !req
315. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
316. Are you blind?Copy !req
317. Huh?Copy !req
318. What do I have to do to putCopy !req
319. some sense in your head,Copy !req
320. Jordan?Copy !req
321. Beat you in the headCopy !req
322. with a dictionary?Copy !req
323. It ain't goingCopy !req
324. to do no goodCopy !req
325. 'cause you ain'tCopy !req
326. going to see it comingCopy !req
327. your big, thick pop-bottleCopy !req
328. glasses you got on.Copy !req
329. Jordan, I swear,Copy !req
330. you make me soCopy !req
331. doggone angryCopy !req
332. I just want to wring your neck,Copy !req
333. you stupid little beetle!Copy !req
334. You...Copy !req
335. Hi, Uncle Bernie!Copy !req
336. Stupid little beetle?Copy !req
337. Oh, Lord...Copy !req
338. Hi.Copy !req
339. The boy dented my car, Cooley.Copy !req
340. I'm not saying thatCopy !req
341. you're not justified.Copy !req
342. What you saying, then?Copy !req
343. I get peeved myself.Copy !req
344. You're not a bad man.Copy !req
345. It's just the words you chose.Copy !req
346. Cooley...Copy !req
347. Look...Copy !req
348. it's not like I'm hereCopy !req
349. to take away the kids.Copy !req
350. You know what, Cooley?Copy !req
351. That's not a bad idea.Copy !req
352. That's a solution.Copy !req
353. You need to take away the kids.Copy !req
354. I'm a bad man, Cooley.Copy !req
355. Okay, Mr. Mac, if ICopy !req
356. thought you were seriousCopy !req
357. I'd be worriedCopy !req
358. but I know that heart'sCopy !req
359. in the right place, okay?Copy !req
360. Okay, man, that's it.Copy !req
361. Well, not quite.Copy !req
362. I'm going to have toCopy !req
363. visit you periodicallyCopy !req
364. over the next weekCopy !req
365. for observation.Copy !req
366. What?Copy !req
367. Just to make sureCopy !req
368. this isn't a hostileCopy !req
369. environment.Copy !req
370. See, Cooley,Copy !req
371. there you go againCopy !req
372. with that doggone wordCopy !req
373. "hostile."Copy !req
374. What do you mean by "hostile"?Copy !req
375. Well, it's justCopy !req
376. standard procedure.Copy !req
377. Oh, Cooley, you...Copy !req
378. Mr. Mac...Copy !req
379. this is nothing to beCopy !req
380. overly concerned about.Copy !req
381. Just watch your words.Copy !req
382. Watch my words.Copy !req
383. Come on, America, how am ICopy !req
384. suppose to watch my words?Copy !req
385. What the hell is this?Copy !req
386. Let's move on.Copy !req
387. What?Copy !req
388. Did you remember to signCopy !req
389. my permission slipCopy !req
390. for the Covina meet?Copy !req
391. You do your homework?Copy !req
392. Yeah.Copy !req
393. All of it? Your math?Copy !req
394. Yeah.Copy !req
395. Well, Nessa, if youCopy !req
396. did your homeworkCopy !req
397. you'd know thatCopy !req
398. your permission slipCopy !req
399. inside your math book.Copy !req
400. Nessa, you justCopy !req
401. lied to me.Copy !req
402. Just for thatCopy !req
403. you spend two daysCopy !req
404. in your room.Copy !req
405. Two days? That's not fair.Copy !req
406. You know what? You're right.Copy !req
407. Let's make it three.Copy !req
408. Two plus one is three.Copy !req
409. You'd know that ifCopy !req
410. you did your math.Copy !req
411. But...Copy !req
412. But nothing.Copy !req
413. What you mean "but"?Copy !req
414. You keep on talking, youCopy !req
415. get a life sentence.Copy !req
416. You'll never see the sun.Copy !req
417. Now, go to yourCopy !req
418. room, Nessa.Copy !req
419. You little liar.Copy !req
420. Baby girl, come on,Copy !req
421. put some clothes on.Copy !req
422. But I'm Beach Barbie.Copy !req
423. Baby... baby girl, look.Copy !req
424. Look.Copy !req
425. It's too cold for youCopy !req
426. to wear that.Copy !req
427. You going to mess around,Copy !req
428. you're going to get sick.Copy !req
429. But Beach BarbieCopy !req
430. wears a bikini.Copy !req
431. But Beach BarbieCopy !req
432. can't catch a cold, baby.Copy !req
433. Okay, you want to wear thatCopy !req
434. you're going to catch the flue.Copy !req
435. And if you catch the flueCopy !req
436. and start throwing upCopy !req
437. I'm not going to do nothing.Copy !req
438. And if you start throwing up,Copy !req
439. I'm going to make you lie in it.Copy !req
440. Now, you want to do that?Copy !req
441. No.Copy !req
442. Baby girl, could you pleaseCopy !req
443. put on some clothes?Copy !req
444. Okay.Copy !req
445. Thank you.Copy !req
446. Now, that's good parenting.Copy !req
447. Jordan, put that ice cream up.Copy !req
448. You're about to eat dinnerCopy !req
449. in a few minutes.Copy !req
450. Oh, but I'm hungry now.Copy !req
451. I didn't ask you that.Copy !req
452. I said put it up.Copy !req
453. Oh, come on, Uncle Bernie.Copy !req
454. If I tell you again, JordanCopy !req
455. you're going toCopy !req
456. be holding the cartonCopy !req
457. to the lump I putCopy !req
458. on your head.Copy !req
459. Put it up.Copy !req
460. Aw...Copy !req
461. What's that you're writing,Copy !req
462. Jordan?Copy !req
463. Nothing.Copy !req
464. Let me see it.Copy !req
465. Move.Copy !req
466. "State of California,Copy !req
467. Department of Social Service."Copy !req
468. What the hell is this?Copy !req
469. That's a standardCopy !req
470. Social Services form.Copy !req
471. For what?Copy !req
472. Well, sometimes in ourCopy !req
473. passionate expressivenessCopy !req
474. we can be careless withCopy !req
475. the words we choose.Copy !req
476. And this is justCopy !req
477. a little exerciseCopy !req
478. to help us withCopy !req
479. our awareness.Copy !req
480. It's an awareness exercise.Copy !req
481. Oh, Cooley, I'm aware.Copy !req
482. I'm aware I got a coupleCopy !req
483. of stool pigeonsCopy !req
484. trying to send me downCopy !req
485. the doggone river, Cooley.Copy !req
486. No, Mr. Mac, they're justCopy !req
487. writing down your words.Copy !req
488. Uh, for instance,Copy !req
489. Vanessa said hereCopy !req
490. that you would lock herCopy !req
491. in her roomCopy !req
492. and she would never see the sun?Copy !req
493. Uh-uh, now-now,Copy !req
494. Cooley, Cooley, that wasCopy !req
495. that was taken out of context.Copy !req
496. Well, not seeing the sunCopy !req
497. in any context is harsh.Copy !req
498. Let's move on.Copy !req
499. Okay...Copy !req
500. Jordan said he'd haveCopy !req
501. to hold ice creamCopy !req
502. to the lump you gaveCopy !req
503. him on his head.Copy !req
504. No, no, no,Copy !req
505. I'm-I'm not going down for that.Copy !req
506. I was referringCopy !req
507. to the ice cream.Copy !req
508. Well, lump on a child'sCopy !req
509. head is hostile.Copy !req
510. Wh-Wh-What'd you suggest I say?Copy !req
511. Knot? Bump? Contusion?Copy !req
512. I'm just saying thatCopy !req
513. a head injury to a childCopy !req
514. is inappropriate.Copy !req
515. Oh... that's bull!Copy !req
516. "Bull."Copy !req
517. Can you believe this?Copy !req
518. They got the kids diming on me.Copy !req
519. All right, cool.Copy !req
520. Let them twist Bernie Mac wordsCopy !req
521. to sound like they're angryCopy !req
522. or hostile.Copy !req
523. I'm going to tell youCopy !req
524. what I'm going to do, America.Copy !req
525. I'm going to slap the tasteCopy !req
526. out of one of their mouths.Copy !req
527. That's right.Copy !req
528. I can see them nowCopy !req
529. "Uncle Bernie,Copy !req
530. I can't taste my breakfast."Copy !req
531. That's because Uncle BernieCopy !req
532. slapped the tasteCopy !req
533. out of your mouth.Copy !req
534. Did I go too far?Copy !req
535. Stool pigeon. Rats. Tricks.Copy !req
536. "How would you likeCopy !req
537. a four-knuckle tattoo"?Copy !req
538. No, no, no, no, now hold on.Copy !req
539. Hold on, now, Cooley.Copy !req
540. I never said nothing...Copy !req
541. Let's... let's move on.Copy !req
542. "Jump down your throatCopy !req
543. and stomp on your liver"?Copy !req
544. Hold... Cooley, hold on.Copy !req
545. Now, you know that's not evenCopy !req
546. physically possible.Copy !req
547. You know that, Cooley.Copy !req
548. "Nanny-nanny boo-boo.Copy !req
549. Stick your head in doo-doo."Copy !req
550. What? That's good, right?Copy !req
551. "I'm going shoppingCopy !req
552. for a tiny pink coffin"?Copy !req
553. Look... look here.Copy !req
554. I was talking aboutCopy !req
555. the little Barbie doll.Copy !req
556. There's no way in heckCopy !req
557. I was talking aboutCopy !req
558. little baby girl like that.Copy !req
559. Come on, you know I wouldn't sayCopy !req
560. nothing like that.Copy !req
561. Cooley, I swear. Come on.Copy !req
562. I can't eat... but I...Copy !req
563. See, that's...Copy !req
564. I can't say...Copy !req
565. All right, fine. Fine.Copy !req
566. I ain't saying nothing.Copy !req
567. No, you don't.Copy !req
568. Yes, I do!Copy !req
569. No, you don't.Copy !req
570. Be quiet!Copy !req
571. You baby, be quiet!Copy !req
572. You stupid jerk!Copy !req
573. Cut it out!Copy !req
574. Shut up!Copy !req
575. Leave me alone!Copy !req
576. You alwaysCopy !req
577. get your way.Copy !req
578. No, you don't.Copy !req
579. Yes, I do!Copy !req
580. No, I don't!Copy !req
581. Yes, you do!Copy !req
582. No, I don't!Copy !req
583. Yes, you do,Copy !req
584. little baby!Copy !req
585. No, I don't!Copy !req
586. Yes, you do,Copy !req
587. little ugly baby!Copy !req
588. So what happened?Copy !req
589. Yo, all kinds of stuff.Copy !req
590. She had this little paddle.Copy !req
591. Wanted me to act likeCopy !req
592. a naughty boy.Copy !req
593. This girl was fine,Copy !req
594. too, man.Copy !req
595. I'd take a spankingCopy !req
596. from her.Copy !req
597. Would you?Copy !req
598. Yeah, I would.Copy !req
599. Would you take one now?Copy !req
600. Give me all the chips,Copy !req
601. baby, all the chips.Copy !req
602. Yes, sir.Copy !req
603. Hey.Copy !req
604. I took five dollars offCopy !req
605. your dresser for nail polish.Copy !req
606. Oh, okay.Copy !req
607. Hey, man.Copy !req
608. Uh-huh.Copy !req
609. You all right?Copy !req
610. Yeah.Copy !req
611. Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
612. I think she said sheCopy !req
613. took your money, man.Copy !req
614. I heard her.Copy !req
615. Yo, yo, man, uhCopy !req
616. you want me toCopy !req
617. handle up on this?Copy !req
618. Look, fellas, I'm fine.Copy !req
619. Come on, I thought weCopy !req
620. were going to play cards.Copy !req
621. Okay, I'll deal, then.Copy !req
622. Yeah, well, justCopy !req
623. deal the cards.Copy !req
624. Bernie.Copy !req
625. You sure you'reCopy !req
626. all right, man?Copy !req
627. I'm fine.Copy !req
628. You all right?Copy !req
629. When the last timeCopy !req
630. you had a physical?Copy !req
631. Six months ago.Copy !req
632. You check your hearing?Copy !req
633. I said I'm fine.Copy !req
634. You fine?Copy !req
635. Deal the damn cards.Copy !req
636. Deal them.Copy !req
637. All right.Copy !req
638. Oh, go on, man.Copy !req
639. I'm fine.Copy !req
640. Damn. Let's play some cards.Copy !req
641. Ooh, Chewy Bears.Copy !req
642. Ugh, those are...Copy !req
643. I hate those.Copy !req
644. Hey!Copy !req
645. Jordan, baby girl,Copy !req
646. stop it, please.Copy !req
647. What you looking at?Copy !req
648. Did I say anything to youCopy !req
649. when you picked about, whatCopy !req
650. 15, 16 items?Copy !req
651. Don't turn your back on meCopy !req
652. when I'm talking to you.Copy !req
653. You the one started it.Copy !req
654. Yeah, you better walk away.Copy !req
655. Yeah, walk away and judgeCopy !req
656. somebody else's kids.Copy !req
657. That's right.Copy !req
658. What everybody looking at?Copy !req
659. Everybody all in my business.Copy !req
660. America, you knowCopy !req
661. what need to be done.Copy !req
662. You know what they need.Copy !req
663. I can't do nothing.Copy !req
664. My hands are tied.Copy !req
665. Look, they took thatCopy !req
666. away from me.Copy !req
667. America, I am truly sorryCopy !req
668. about that.Copy !req
669. I just couldn't hold it in.Copy !req
670. I shouldn't haveCopy !req
671. taken it out on her.Copy !req
672. If any one of you allCopy !req
673. know her out thereCopy !req
674. please tell her that Bernie MacCopy !req
675. is sorry, please.Copy !req
676. I know better than that.Copy !req
677. I was brought upCopy !req
678. better than that.Copy !req
679. Big Mama gave me home training.Copy !req
680. I just act like I drankCopy !req
681. or something. I don't...Copy !req
682. Ignorant.Copy !req
683. God, dog!Copy !req
684. Huh!Copy !req
685. Wanda!Copy !req
686. What's wrong, baby?Copy !req
687. Come here.Copy !req
688. Bernie, you all right?Copy !req
689. No, I ain't all right.Copy !req
690. I almost brokeCopy !req
691. my doggone neckCopy !req
692. because you got a millionCopy !req
693. pair of shoes up in here.Copy !req
694. Why you got so many shoes?Copy !req
695. You only got two feet.Copy !req
696. Bernie, I'm not goingCopy !req
697. to argue with youCopy !req
698. about these shoes.Copy !req
699. I'm not arguing, Wanda.Copy !req
700. I'm just telling youCopy !req
701. how I feel.Copy !req
702. What's going on?Copy !req
703. Wanda, I can't take it.Copy !req
704. I swear I can't take it.Copy !req
705. I keep biting my tongueCopy !req
706. around these kidsCopy !req
707. I'm going to pop,Copy !req
708. I'm going to lose it.Copy !req
709. I can't be myself,Copy !req
710. I can't be Bernie Mac.Copy !req
711. And if I can't beCopy !req
712. Bernie MacCopy !req
713. this is how it'sCopy !req
714. going to come out.Copy !req
715. Somebody gotCopy !req
716. to pay the price.Copy !req
717. You all I got.Copy !req
718. Can you hold me, baby?Copy !req
719. I'm pitiful, Wanda.Copy !req
720. That's okay, baby.Copy !req
721. Jordan says you gave himCopy !req
722. a threatening look.Copy !req
723. But I'm not goingCopy !req
724. to put that down.Copy !req
725. And Vanessa saysCopy !req
726. that you mumbledCopy !req
727. something incoherently.Copy !req
728. That's not a big deal.Copy !req
729. So it seems like thingsCopy !req
730. have gotten a lot better.Copy !req
731. Yeah, Uncle Bernie's beenCopy !req
732. on excellent behavior.Copy !req
733. His word choiceCopy !req
734. has been phenomenal.Copy !req
735. I learned that.Copy !req
736. Heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
737. Yeah, he's much moreCopy !req
738. pleasant to be around.Copy !req
739. Great. Okay.Copy !req
740. Mr. Mac, you haveCopy !req
741. anything to add?Copy !req
742. Nothing?Copy !req
743. For what, Cooley?Copy !req
744. Anything I say is goingCopy !req
745. to get twisted aroundCopy !req
746. and you're going to writeCopy !req
747. down in that little pad.Copy !req
748. Actually, no.Copy !req
749. Anything that's saidCopy !req
750. within this meetingCopy !req
751. is between usCopy !req
752. and goes no further.Copy !req
753. It's completely confidential.Copy !req
754. Completely confidential?Copy !req
755. Yes, like an attorney-Copy !req
756. client privilege.Copy !req
757. Really?Copy !req
758. Yes.Copy !req
759. So I can say anythingCopy !req
760. I want, right?Copy !req
761. As long as it's withinCopy !req
762. the context of this meeting.Copy !req
763. So I can talk about grabbingCopy !req
764. somebody by the ponytailCopy !req
765. shaking their head tillCopy !req
766. they're damn near dizzyCopy !req
767. till water startCopy !req
768. pouring out their eyesCopy !req
769. you know whatCopy !req
770. I mean, Nessa?Copy !req
771. I can talk aboutCopy !req
772. that, can't I?Copy !req
773. And you, Jordan,Copy !req
774. you know doggone wellCopy !req
775. you're not supposedCopy !req
776. to throw no candy.Copy !req
777. As a matter of fact,Copy !req
778. you're not supposedCopy !req
779. to throw anything.Copy !req
780. I should've put a dentCopy !req
781. in your head the sameCopy !req
782. way you did in my car.Copy !req
783. It's all right for meCopy !req
784. to do that, Cooley?Copy !req
785. And you, baby girl, yeah.Copy !req
786. You're just too cute.Copy !req
787. That's the only wayCopy !req
788. you get away with it.Copy !req
789. But that's not going to last.Copy !req
790. It'll lastCopy !req
791. till you're around six.Copy !req
792. What are you,Copy !req
793. five and three-quarters?Copy !req
794. Yeah, and then you'll beCopy !req
795. right along with them.Copy !req
796. And you know what,Copy !req
797. when you get with themCopy !req
798. POW! Slap allCopy !req
799. three of y'all.Copy !req
800. Boy, I feel so much better,Copy !req
801. Cooley.Copy !req
802. See, the beauty of itCopy !req
803. you all ain't hearCopy !req
804. the real Bernie MacCopy !req
805. two-piece. Pow-pow!Copy !req
806. So you ain't goingCopy !req
807. to see the second oneCopy !req
808. 'cause the first oneCopy !req
809. knocked you out.Copy !req
810. Mr. Mac, I can no longer beCopy !req
811. a party to this abusive tirade.Copy !req
812. No, come on, CooleyCopy !req
813. I can't keepCopy !req
814. watching what I sayCopy !req
815. in front of these kids.Copy !req
816. It's going to comeCopy !req
817. out like this.Copy !req
818. You leave meCopy !req
819. no other choice.Copy !req
820. Jordan, you gotCopy !req
821. one more timeCopy !req
822. to sit at that breakfast tableCopy !req
823. and chew your foodCopy !req
824. with your mouth openCopy !req
825. breathing through your nose.Copy !req
826. I'm going to give you a jabCopy !req
827. in the bread basket.Copy !req
828. I swear that'll clear upCopy !req
829. your sinuses.Copy !req
830. Oh, Mr. Mac.Copy !req
831. No, you not there,Copy !req
832. Cooley.Copy !req
833. You don't see himCopy !req
834. every morning—Copy !req
835. This has got to stop.Copy !req
836. This has been going onCopy !req
837. for over an hour.Copy !req
838. Look here, CooleyCopy !req
839. I'm just startingCopy !req
840. to enjoy myself.Copy !req
841. I ask you, you goingCopy !req
842. to come tomorrow?Copy !req
843. I wasn't planning to.Copy !req
844. Well, come on, hey, kidsCopy !req
845. don't y'all want to seeCopy !req
846. Brad Cooley tomorrow?Copy !req
847. Say yeah.Copy !req
848. Please, Mr. Cooley,Copy !req
849. make him stop.Copy !req
850. Very good, Mr. Mac.Copy !req
851. Very good.Copy !req
852. Bernie Mac is back, baby.Copy !req
853. I can say what I want again.Copy !req
854. Well, for the most part.Copy !req
855. But you knowCopy !req
856. what I'm talking about.Copy !req
857. Life is good, America.Copy !req
858. Life is good.Copy !req
859. These kids taking meCopy !req
860. through all that.Copy !req
861. They're just a pain in the ass.Copy !req
862. That's what they are, America,Copy !req
863. just a pain in the ass.Copy !req
864. Y'all got kids, you know.Copy !req
865. I just deal with mine up front.Copy !req
866. I don't go behind the curtain,Copy !req
867. you know.Copy !req
868. Just a pain in the ass.Copy !req
869. Ooh, every time you knowCopy !req
870. it's a kid around.Copy !req
871. When your booty start hurting,Copy !req
872. it's a kid around.Copy !req
873. A kid is close.Copy !req
874. Ooh, my booty hurt.Copy !req
875. It's a kid somewhere.Copy !req
876. Ow!Copy !req
877. It's children.Copy !req
878. Bryana, what did youCopy !req
879. just say Billy was?Copy !req
880. I said BillyCopy !req
881. was a pain the...Copy !req
882. Ass?Copy !req
883. I understand, baby.Copy !req
884. We should watchCopy !req
885. what we say in frontCopy !req
886. of Bryana though.Copy !req
887. Honestly, baby, I didn'tCopy !req
888. know she was over there.Copy !req
889. I didn't mean nothing by it.Copy !req
890. She over there eavesdropping.Copy !req
891. Honey, I thinkCopy !req
892. it's more than that.Copy !req
893. You know, when it was justCopy !req
894. you and me in the houseCopy !req
895. certain thingsCopy !req
896. we could doCopy !req
897. certain thingsCopy !req
898. we could say.Copy !req
899. But we have a houseCopy !req
900. full of kids where...Copy !req
901. Cut!Copy !req
902. Did you pay the bill?Copy !req
903. Captioned byCopy !req
904. Media Access Group at WGBHCopy !req