The Bear 3x9

1. The fantasy is what we're doing now,

2. right here in this room, with these lights and cameras and mirrors.

3. Something else is existing there. I don't know what,

4. but there's something happening. It's not part of our normal day—

5. literal nature of how we live—

6. but we're trying to create something different.

7. All you have to do is reach up in the air and get all you want.

8. Grab one. In the can. That's good.

9. With the other hand. In the can.

10. That's better. Blow on it, big boy, youse.

11. Hold that can with both hands.

12. People frequently talk about how much more difficult it is

13. to cheat in a card game than to perform good sleight of hand.

14. But if you think about it,

15. what makes magic different is that it's inherently honest.

16. You tell someone you're gonna deceive them before you deceive them.

17. In some way, that makes it more difficult.

18. That is the ace of clubs, the card the woman on the aisle took.

19. - You're shaking your head no? - Four of diamonds.

20. If you insist.

21. Magic at its best, for it truly to be magic,

22. a magical moment, it has to be spontaneous.

23. It has to be something that just happens.

24. I'm so tired.

25. - This sucks. - Yeah, this does suck.

26. Yeah. Well, if we did it when it was scheduled,

27. like suggested in the nonnegotiables, it wouldn't be this bad.

28. I swear we do though. We do it, Carm.

29. - Neil. - All we do is break down boxes.

30. Boxes come in, we break 'em down.

31. Yeah, then a shipment comes in, and we have to do it again, right?

32. - What if this is a haunt? - It's not a fucking haunt.

33. - You think it's a haunt? - I don't know.

34. - Why would this be a haunt? - Could be a haunt.

35. - No. - What if it was?

36. - Yeah, what if it was? - Who would wanna haunt us? Why? Why?

37. - Who's pissed at us right now? - Nobody's pissed.

38. - Sammy's pissed at us all the time. - Yeah, but I'd see his ass.

39. That's a big deal. You know what I'm saying?

40. Sure.

41. I know who's pissed at us.

42. - Who? - Yeah, who?

43. Claire Bear.

44. - Well, not us. Just you. - Not us.

45. - No. No, Claire wouldn't haunt us. - How do you know?

46. Because that would be chaos, and she's peace.

47. Totally. Piece. Like— Like of ass, right?

48. - What? - Like piece of ass.

49. Like on the inside.

50. - No. - Like a gorgeous person.

51. No, no, like she's calm. She's like the peace.

52. - P-E-A-C-E. Peace. - Okay. Yeah. All right. Respect. Respect.

53. Do you think about her?

54. Not really. Just, like, every day.

55. See? She's haunting your ass, dude.

56. - She's haunting you. - No.

57. - Why don't you just say you're sorry? - Yeah.

58. Can't do that. It's too hard.

59. It's not too hard, pimp.

60. - There's always time. - It's super easy.

61. Bear, check this out.

62. - Hey, Ted. - Yeah?

63. You be Claire Bear. I'm gonna be Carmy because we're best friends.

64. - I know his nuances. - Okay.

65. - Check this out. - Yeah.

66. - Hey, Claire Bear. - Yeah?

67. Hey, I'm really sorry.

68. - Done. Done. - Done. See?

69. - Break down the fucking boxes. - I'm breaking 'em down.

70. - I'm breaking 'em. The boxes. - We're making way.

71. We always break down the boxes. For sure.

72. Maybe she's haunting me.

73. - Stupid boxes. - They're stupid.

74. Okay. I wanted to— I wanted to start off by

75. saying I'm— I'm so— I'm grateful and— All right.

76. This— Okay, so I wanted— I wanted to talk to you

77. because an opportunity came up and it's very— It's exciting.

78. Do it fast. Fuck.

79. This needs to get good to go away.

80. Still waiting on Wagyu. Let's fucking go.

81. Still waiting on Wagyu. Let's push.

82. - No. Still waiting on Wagyu. - I've refired, Chef.

83. Refire it again. I had to cook it myself. Let's fucking go.

84. Faster, please.

85. You're fucking killing me. Please.

86. The cook on the Wagyu has been off all night tonight.

87. Please, chefs. Please, let's pick it up.

88. You don't want smoke, but you want music.

89. - You hear the music here? - Yes.

90. Push, chefs! Please! The cook is fucked. Refire, please.

91. Waiting on Wagyu all fucking day.

92. Please, again. Let's fucking go.

93. Faster and cleaner, Chef.

94. No. Refire again, guys. The cook is off all fucking night tonight.

95. Let's fucking go. You guys are fucking killing me.

96. Still waiting on agnolotti.

97. Cavatelli. Still waiting on agnolotti and Wagyu.

98. Please. Let's fucking go.

99. Let's fucking push, please. Let's fucking go.

100. Syd, waiting on Wagyu.

101. - Richie asked for a hold. - Richie doesn't get fucking holds.

102. Push. Refire again. Let's fucking go.

103. Please give me the fucking agnolotti. Push.

104. Still waiting on Wagyu. Let's fucking go.

105. Push, please.

106. Marcus, waiting on 23.

107. Waiting on agnolotti.

108. Waiting on Wagyu.

109. Marcus, speak.

110. Firing, Chef. - Fire faster, please. We are behind.

111. - Faster. Faster. - Chef Sydney, refire 21. Server dropped.

112. That's the third fucking time in two weeks!

113. What do you want me to do? - Teach your people how to walk!

114. Teach your people how to fucking cook faster!

115. I'm so fucking sick of this.

116. What is this? - Promo.

117. Today felt like two days.

118. Long one, man.

119. How many turns?

120. One and three-quarters.

121. Oh, what's this asterisk?

122. Extra dessert on 42.

123. Why?

124. Birthday.

125. - We missed a birthday? - Yeah.

126. Shit.

127. Fuck. That's on me.

128. Fuck. Going forward—

129. We don't miss birthdays.

130. - Chef. - Chef.

131. Expo is killing us.

132. I could trade again.

133. - Then I'd have to cover your station. - Okay. Then I'd cover yours.

134. You good?

135. Yeah, I'm gonna crack it eventually.

136. I didn't mean the plate.

137. I'm fine. Yeah.

138. You good?

139. Yeah, I mean. I could stay later if you need—

140. No. No, no, no.

141. You should get some rest.

142. You should get some rest.

143. Tonight was off.

144. Been off.

145. I'm sorry.

146. - It's hard to keep up with you sometimes. - Yeah. Well, I've been doing this longer.

147. I didn't mean on a skill level.

148. There's something I wanna run by you.

149. Okay.

150. It can wait.

151. - You sure? - Yeah, I'm tired.

152. - We're both tired. - Yeah. I'm right here.

153. It's fine.

154. We're closed tomorrow night.

155. Yes.

156. Did you just remember?

157. No.

158. It's the, um, Ever funeral service

159. - tomorrow night. - Oh. Whoa.

160. Heavy.

161. But on the bright side, you know,

162. you'll be able to see a lot of really incredible people, like—

163. Yeah. Yeah, no. It's gonna be...

164. everybody.

165. Yeah, serious, man. Real heat.

166. You should come.

167. No. Um... No, I'm—

168. - Yeah. - Nah, I've got a lot of stuff to do and—

169. It will be your last chance to eat at Ever.

170. - I'm very aware of that, but... - Right.

171. I don't really think that's, like, my place to...

172. - be there. - Syd, it's— it's— it's Ever.

173. - Yeah, I— I know. I— - So what are you talking about?

174. You should come.

175. Okay.

176. - Good. - Good.

177. Look. I, uh...

178. I've been wanting to talk about...

179. About?

180. I don't want it to be so hard to keep up with me.

181. Okay.

182. Got it. Great.

183. Okay. Thank you.

184. Then, good night.

185. Good night.

186. I'm sorry.

187. I'm sorry. Fuck.

188. I...

189. I...

190. - Saline flush. - What happened?

191. He was playing with friends. Fell off the roof.

192. - You ready? - Ready.

193. Okay. One, two, three.

194. I really love you.

195. - Chef. - Morning, Chef.

196. What you doing here?

197. Been getting my ass kicked during service, so I just figured I'd come in

198. and work on some things while we're not in the shits.

199. - What about you? - Same same, man.

200. Yeah.

201. - Morning, morning, chefs. - Chef.

202. You working on something?

203. Grapes.

204. - Hey, neph. Yo. - Unc, what you got?

205. Uh...

206. The name they got for these is golf clubs.

207. You know, funnily enough, I am missing one.

208. Wouldn't happen to be the one

209. wedged up your ass the last couple of weeks, would it?

210. - You come here to give me shit or what? - Relax.

211. I'm flying out to Seattle tonight, so I don't want to leave them in the car.

212. What are you doing?

213. Fucking spraying shit?

214. Yeah. Just spraying shit.

215. Any idea when this fucking review's coming?

216. No.

217. Haven't really been thinking about it.

218. - It'll be good. - Yeah.

219. Like at all.

220. Yeah. No, me neither.

221. - You been thinking about it? - A lot.

222. Yeah, me too.

223. - It's gonna be a good review. - How you know?

224. I don't.

225. Well, dreams are a son of a bitch, aren't they?

226. I went to this lecture series at U of Chicago.

227. You went to a lecture series?

228. Yeah, I went to a lecture series.

229. How you think I got so fucking erudite? A bong hit?

230. Anyway, dreams, they always, like— They start from a place of passion, right?

231. And by the way, when I say dreams, I mean goals.

232. Not like when you're, you know, asleep and you're stuck

233. at the bottom of a swimming pool and your fucking teeth keep

234. floating up out of your head and you look down

235. and you got a fucking tattoo of a bulldog on your cock.

236. Anyway, so I'm in this lecture,

237. and it's called "The Day Tomorrow Began," right?

238. It's all about these breakthroughs in, like, science

239. and fucking culture and whatever.

240. And, um, actually about how they're all born from people

241. of the U of Chicago, right here in Illinois, you know?

242. Crazy fucking shit, let me tell you.

243. Like carbon dating. You know what that is?

244. I don't think so.

245. So when anything is alive—

246. anything, like plants, animals, human beings, whatever,

247. we absorb carbon 14 atoms into our tissue, all right?

248. So then when we die, those atoms start to get released back out in the atmosphere.

249. This one motherfucker, right?

250. He figures out how to measure how long something's been dead

251. by counting the remaining carbon 14 atoms.

252. Who the fuck thinks of that, right?

253. - I don't know. - Another one?

254. First nuclear reactor.

255. That's right. University of fucking Chicago, baby.

256. - Huh. - Yeah. It's inspiring, really,

257. 'cause it's kind of, like, if you really nurture these dreams, these goals,

258. no matter how batshit crazy they sound,

259. and trust me, there are, like, 15 more of these breakthroughs,

260. positively fucking idiotic, all right?

261. But you can make an impact, right?

262. You can actually change the fucking world,

263. as long as you have a place like the university to take care of you,

264. to... let you do your thing.

265. Let you drive, right?

266. And, uh, keep you financed.

267. I just remember, the whole time, thinking, "Whoa,

268. not everything can be that."

269. Bear, listen, you know, I've been trying to nurture this thing.

270. - I have. - I know.

271. But if we get killed...

272. I-I-I gotta not get killed.

273. Okay?

274. All right. So, what are you telling me?

275. I'm telling you that if we get a bad review, I gotta cut the fucking string.

276. All right.

277. So look, there's some other info

278. it is my duty to impart to you,

279. and it's just my sincere hope you don't resent me for it too much.

280. Is it worse than that?

281. Depends.

282. I can't wait.

283. Your mom wants you to call her.

284. It's the baby.

285. Yeah, no, no. I figured.

286. When did you see her?

287. Been helping me with something.

288. You've been fucking avoiding it, haven't you?

289. - Yeah. Hoping it would just go away. - Well, only one way to make that happen.

290. - What's that? - Just you run right the fuck into it.

291. I don't resent you.

292. Phew.

293. Were you losing sleep over that one?

294. Actually...

295. I don't know, Bear. I've been thinking the last few days, uh...

296. - What? - Uh...

297. Sometimes I-I wish that, uh—

298. I wish I'd have done more.

299. - What more? - You know, with your ma and Mikey,

300. and all the fucking crazy shit.

301. What could you have done?

302. I could have tried.

303. I also...

304. I wasn't really there.

305. Buddy, I do not blame you one fucking second for cruising, all right?

306. - I know, but I did it. - You got that clear?

307. - And sometimes I think I could have— - What? What the fuck could you have done?

308. I could have tried.

309. Well,

310. here we are.

311. We can call it even?

312. We're even.

313. Except for the 850 fucking thousand dollars you owe me,

314. we are square, baby.

315. Dead fucking even.

316. Yeah, there is that.

317. All right, so this was nice.

318. Where do I put these motherfucking things

319. so that weird people don't put their hands on 'em?

320. Fuck. One second.

321. How'd it go?

322. Fine.

323. - 'Cause you didn't tell him. - I kinda told him.

324. - What am I supposed to say? - That you can't cover your shorts.

325. He's terrible at math.

326. You say, "I'm fucked. The market ripped, and I'm fucked."

327. You give him a deadline, you apologize,

328. you tell him you love him, you'll make it up to him down the road.

329. But this is this. It is what it is.

330. - You don't have kids. - Dude, you have a 15-year-old.

331. I'm not talking about him.

332. How are we for time?

333. - Hour and a half. - Should give us plenty of time

334. - for you to lose the rest of it. - Suck my fucking balls.

335. - The truth is, it's better— - Shut the fuck up.

336. I pay you too much money. Shut the fuck up right now.

337. First, are you gonna be able to continue to pay me?

338. Second, I think this:

339. It's probably better for you to experience what it's like to be poor.

340. They say that leads to empathy.

341. - Hey. - Yeah.

342. - I got an idea. - Go ahead.

343. How about you take a nice, long walk off a short pier,

344. and then go fuck yourself?

345. How's your job?

346. It's okay.

347. Kids are still kind of fucked up from COVID.

348. Can you blame them? - No.

349. - I can't imagine being a kid right now. - Mm-mmm.

350. How's the restaurant?

351. It's great.

352. Am I allowed to come in yet?

353. - Yeah, when it's perfect. - Perfect? Yes. Understood.

354. Yo! Oh, no!

355. Do not pick that up! - Put that down right now! No!

356. When are you gonna RSVP?

357. - I did. - No, you didn't.

358. - Yeah, I did. - Are you going to?

359. Yeah, I—

360. I mean, I don't wanna make you, but I would like you to be there.

361. No, I just— I guess it must have slipped my mind.

362. - I know it's a lot. - No.

363. I don't wanna be weird about this with you...

364. - It's all good. - ... but—

365. What?

366. It's all good, baby, baby.

367. It's all good.

368. I don't wanna be dramatic about it, but, you know,

369. I don't have a lot of family left.

370. - I know. - You're kind of like it for me.

371. I don't wanna make it weird,

372. but unless it's really awful and hard or fucking terrible for you,

373. I would like you to come, and I'm gonna be honest with you,

374. even if it is awful and fucking terrible for you, I'd still like you to come.

375. And it's gonna be really mellow, at our house.

376. Not a lot of people.

377. I see you using all those good key words.

378. Well, I know my demographic.

379. Is it about Frank?

380. No.

381. - Nah, he seems okay. - Yeah.

382. It would be nice to hate him though, right?

383. Yeah, it'd be nice to hate him.

384. I mean,

385. I just think it would be nice for her if you're there.

386. Can I ask you, did you tell her that I'm alone?

387. Um...

388. I didn't know what to say, 'cause...

389. Hey! Hey, don't eat that! Do not eat that! No! No!

390. Actually, you should eat that.

391. Yeah, you're gonna love that. It tastes just like carrots.

392. - Yuck! That's gross. - Okay.

393. - That's what I thought. - That was good.

394. Ever meet anyone that hates carrots as much as her?

395. Yeah. Unc. Yeah.

396. That dude fucking hates vegetables.

397. I'm sorry that I told her you were alone.

398. I don't want her worrying about me.

399. I get that.

400. Did I tell you that I saw Claire?

401. She told me everything that Carmy said to her.

402. - It was so fucked up. - Who fucking cares?

403. He said something like, if anything good happens to him,

404. it's gonna explode in his face, and it'd be all her fault or something.

405. - I wonder where he picked that up. - Yeah, I wonder where he picked that up.

406. Thanks for being so good to her.

407. And thank you for being so good to her.

408. Just RSVP, okay? Don't be a bitch.

409. Yeah, yeah.

410. How's it going, Chef?

411. You ever get lost in a plate?

412. Every single day.

413. - Can I try it? - Please. Yeah.

414. It's really good.

415. - Really? - Mm-hmm.

416. Totally.

417. I know I haven't asked you in a minute, but—

418. Well, I'm all right.

419. - Really? - Yeah.

420. It's okay if you're not all right, you know?

421. Sometimes I'll get, like—

422. like, flashes of her.

423. Like, memories.

424. Good memories?

425. Yeah.

426. You're lucky to have 'em.

427. I sure am.

428. Hey, can I give you an idea?

429. Please. Huh.

430. Okay, um...

431. When I was in Copenhagen, I tried this pumpkin dish

432. that they, like, smoked and grated over the plate.

433. - Like a Parm? - Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

434. And you have this cauliflower that's, like, really rich.

435. So if you took, I don't know, the horseradish and smoked it...

436. And what if, like, the cauliflower was, like...

437. Mashed?

438. - Pureed? - Pureed.

439. Yes. Thank you, Chef.

440. - Of course, Chef. - All right.

441. Do we have a smoker?

442. Yeah. Yeah. It's just extremely small.

443. It's gonna take a while.

444. Is it okay if we pull over?

445. Uh, you'll have to add a stop.

446. Oh, yeah. I'll add a stop.

447. When we get there,

448. - we have to be respectful and very quiet. - Absolutely.

449. Hospitals are sacred. The worst day of a person's life can be in a hospital.

450. - Or the best day. - Or the best day.

451. Remember when they fixed your short arm?

452. - Now look at that. It's long now. - It's gorgeous.

453. - Isn't that crazy? - It's fantastic.

454. - I know. It looks strong. - Good, right?

455. I know.

456. But when we get there, it's important that we-we-we go with peace.

457. We don't want to put pressure on the situation.

458. We don't want to freak her out. We want her to be relaxed.

459. - I'm gonna do all the talking. - I'm also gonna do all the talking.

460. - No. Well— - Yeah.

461. Do you think it's weird that we're going there and speaking on his behalf?

462. I don't think so. I'm his best friend. I know him better than anybody.

463. I know he wants to say it, but he never would.

464. So maybe it is good we're going.

465. Yeah, but I-I-I think it doesn't hurt to just say a couple of little things.

466. - Yeah. I think she still loves him. - See, I know that.

467. - I know. - I know that.

468. And that's why we're going. That's why we're going.

469. - Dude. - Because we're good guys.

470. - We are good. See? - See?

471. - We're good guys. This is meant to be. - Do you think we're going to heaven?

472. What religion are we?

473. Syd!

474. I'm whispering 'cause they're sleeping. Come on in.

475. Oh, my God. What do we got?

476. We got beef Bolognese... Oh, my God.

477. beef stew, noodles. Minestrone. Oh, yes.

478. Oh. Hey, can I make some Bolo now?

479. Sure. Yeah, I mean, it might wake them up, but...

480. Oh, okay. I'll save it. What's that one?

481. Oh, it's, um, lasagna, but with the corners that she likes.

482. - The burnt corners? - Yeah. The burnt corners.

483. - Can I make that one now? - Yeah, but it also might wake them up.

484. Okay, yeah.

485. Syd, this is awfully cool of you.

486. Seriously, like, she's gonna freak.

487. Yeah. I mean, happy to help.

488. Um, how— how are you feeling, New Dad?

489. Yeah.

490. It's, like, grateful, you know?

491. Oh, hey, before I forget.

492. Um, Nat said I need to look through that thing.

493. - Oh, no. You don't. - No, I looked through it.

494. - Oh, great. - Yeah.

495. Cool.

496. - Why? What's up? - What? Nothing. I don't know.

497. - What's up with you? - I mean, that's good, right?

498. Yes. No. It's— It's great. Sorry, I was— What did it say?

499. It's a pretty good salary, 70 a year. A couple bonuses.

500. Oh, nice.

501. Um, insurance?

502. Um, after three months.

503. So you just have to survive three months.

504. Well, yeah, but I mean, it's rocking, right?

505. Like, it's going great.

506. Yeah, I was more making like a bad joke, I think.

507. - Gotcha. - Yeah.

508. The food is so good.

509. - Oh. Thanks. - Yeah, you should be proud.

510. Yeah.

511. Um, cool. Well, I'll— I'll head out. I'll let you...

512. Thank you so much for this.

513. - Yeah. No, no. - Really appreciate it.

514. Hey, do you think the beef stew would make noise if I cooked it?

515. - What? - Like, would that wake 'em up?

516. I wasn't talking about the noise.

517. I think I just more was, like, the smell of food

518. - sometimes... - Oh, right. Yeah.

519. I thought, like, different ones were more noisy or something.

520. Uh, no.

521. - Thanks for looking at it though, Pete. - Oh, my pleasure.

522. - Yeah. - Yeah.

523. Dr. Dunlap? Dr. Claire Dunlap?

524. Dr. Claire? Dr. Claire Bear?

525. Do you guys know— Do you guys know Dr. Claire? Hey.

526. What are you doing here?

527. - What? - Are you okay?

528. Well, I told 'em downstairs that I was sick so I can—

529. Are you sick?

530. - No. - Then what— What are you doing?

531. My love, what are you doing here?

532. No, I wanted to tell you that...

533. Carmy doesn't know we're here, but...

534. I don't think that he knows, like, how to tell you.

535. And I think that he's, like, stuck.

536. And I think that he loves you,

537. and I— and I want you to know that, like, when we were kids,

538. when we were in high school— Neil.

539. - Yeah. - Why did you leave me?

540. - What the fuck is he doing here? - I didn't leave you. I told you—

541. - You left me. - I didn't.

542. I was walking down the hallway looking for Dr.--

543. - No. You walked ahead of me. - I walked ahead of you.

544. - Where did you turn? - Can you not shout in a hospital?

545. Can you just calm— I love you both so much.

546. - I fucking love you. - I know.

547. You have to leave.

548. I took a couple wrong turns, and saw a guy get cut—

549. - Like, wide open. - Were you in an operating room?

550. I think I might have been. Hey, you know Carm's all in, right?

551. - Like, chips pushed all the way forward. - That's what I was just saying.

552. Like, he likes you more than he likes himself.

553. I mean, that's actively not true

554. - in that I have not heard from him. - He was in the fridge, right?

555. - Remember that? His whole world was— - Yeah, I remember that.

556. That was a miscommunication. Like, he really has thought about it,

557. and he told me a couple of times, like, how much he does like you.

558. - The fridge was good for him, by the way. - I've seen him be happy before.

559. Like, we were on this class trip, and we were gonna go on a canoe trip.

560. He was really excited.

561. And I know that he has, like, he's happy on the inside, but he just—

562. - He is happy on the inside. - He's broken because— I don't think—

563. We weren't allowed to go canoeing when we got there.

564. But nobody takes care of Carmy like, you know, Donna.

565. And it's just, like— It's just really tough for him.

566. I think that you could be that person that takes care of him,

567. 'cause he would take care of you, 'cause you know that he has, like,

568. strong shoulders and he has strong arms.

569. And I think that, like, he could hug you a lot more.

570. Yeah, for sure. That was good. That was strong.

571. I— I-I can't do this here, but I love you guys so much.

572. We love you so much, and I know that he loves you.

573. - You're the peace. - No.

574. - Yeah. Hey, no, exactly. - No.

575. Like, you are the peace.

576. - No. - Yeah, Claire Bear.

577. You're the peace.

578. You are.

579. I don't know.

580. I— I— I don't know, guys. I don't. I don't.

581. - You don't have to— - It's done.

582. - I love you both. This is so sweet of you. - Yeah.

583. You have to leave my job, because this is my work.

584. But I love— But it's so meaningful.

585. And your multiple texts mean so much to me.

586. - Yeah. - Hey, who's Diane?

587. Who's Diane, by the way?

588. No, no, you fucked enough of my friends. Also, get that checked.

589. - What? - What Kelly said. Just get that checked.

590. - What did Kelly say? - You know what I'm talking about.