The Bear 3x2

1. Ugh. Shit.

2. Yes?

3. Uh—

4. Uh, did you hear me knocking?

5. Yep. I heard you the first three times.

6. So you heard the knocks?

7. - It's my bathroom time! - But what if I miss my bathroom time?

8. Well, that's not how bathroom time works.

9. You can't change the rules of bathroom time.

10. I know, but what if I need m-my bathroom time now?

11. I— I'm almost done.

12. I know, but I need my bathroom time now.

13. Dad!

14. Sorry, baby.

15. - We went to Ricky's after work... - No.

16. - ... and I ate too many wings. - Stop. Dad, stop.

17. So gross.

18. Um, I'll bring you home food from work, okay?

19. - Uh-huh. - So, like, don't go to Ricky's anymore,

20. 'cause, like, your stomach's always cut up and it's, like— it's really gross.

21. Did you take your benazepril?

22. Baby, you just told me two times.

23. Okay, but did you do it though?

24. - I'm about to do it right now! - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

25. Okay, I'm going to work.

26. Um, love you.

27. Love you.

28. Can you put my toothbrush back, please?

29. Yes, Chef!

30. Oh, my God.

31. Whoo. Ten pounds lighter.

32. Oh, my God.

33. - You got holes in your sleeves? - I'm gonna kill you.

34. I'm literally just going to kill you.

35. - Love you, Chef. - Okay, I love you too.

36. Micro radish. Fridge?

37. Yes, please.

38. - Can you break that box down? - Yep.

39. Why these micros so expensive?

40. 'Cause they're micro.

41. - Is this me? - Yeah.

42. - You wanna go burn one? - No, I quit.

43. - Since when? - Since last night.

44. What, are you thinking about your health?

45. I'm thinking about the five minutes it's gonna take me.

46. Speaking of time,

47. you gotta get this fucking beef window open, dawg.

48. These regulars are talking shit.

49. Yeah, I know. I'm-I'm aware.

50. Yeah, but you don't hear it like I hear it.

51. How do you hear it?

52. I hear it like,

53. "Yo, fuck this fancy fuck. I want my shit."

54. Okay. Um—

55. Yeah, we can open it tomorrow.

56. Isn't it kind of funny the two of us are in here again?

57. - Yeah. - Remember when we were kids?

58. - Yeah, slicing bread. - Wiping tables.

59. Felt like we could have done anything.

60. Probably a little different for you.

61. Why different for me?

62. Different 'cause you knew what you wanted to do.

63. So you were like this.

64. And we were like...

65. You mean, like, more possibilities?

66. That's exactly what I mean, for us.

67. I gotta cruise.

68. - All right. - All right.

69. Good morning, Sug. Good morning, Christopher.

70. Good morning. Hey.

71. Hi.

72. I said "hi."

73. Did I not say something?

74. How long have you been here?

75. A minute.

76. - How are you? - Okay.

77. Did you call Richie? Do I wanna know about Claire?

78. - Nat. - Carm.

79. Good morning.

80. Good morning.

81. - So, how long have you been here? - I'm good.

82. - Yeah? - Yeah. Focused.

83. Okay. - You?

84. Great. Good. Fine.

85. Shitty.

86. Do you wanna pick one?

87. It's not great 8:00 a.m. stuff.

88. All right. Um...

89. You got me.

90. I'm gonna have a kid in two months.

91. I wish I could just push a button and get the baggage put away.

92. - That's, like, 4:00 p.m. stuff. - Mm-hmm.

93. I told you.

94. Chefs. Chef.

95. Morning. Morning.

96. Mmm.

97. What's this? Nonnegotiables.

98. That's how we do this correctly.

99. That's how restaurants of the highest caliber operate.

100. "Respect tradition, push boundaries."

101. - You good? - We gotta be excellent every day. Okay?

102. Can you type those up and print out a bunch?

103. - Bear. - Please.

104. Hey, kids. That's for me.

105. Hey. Hey.

106. What are you doing here? What am I doing here?

107. Hold on, hold on. It's coming to me.

108. Oh, yeah. I remember now.

109. I own the place, so whatever the fuck I want.

110. Sorry. What's that?

111. Cryovac.

112. Why do we need a new Cryovac?

113. - It's a better Cryovac. - Better how?

114. - What are you asking me? - To stop spending my fucking money.

115. Don't think I'm not seeing these fancy, new,

116. - earthenware, fucking hippie plates. - Heard. Thank you.

117. "Shirts perfectly pressed."

118. - Yes. - "Personal hygiene. Know your shit.

119. Break down all boxes before putting them in dumpster."

120. - Yes. - "No surprises.

121. Never repeat ingredients.

122. Technique, technique, technique." Spelled wrong but whatever.

123. "Change menu every day.

124. Constantly evolve through passion and creativity."

125. And something about teaspoons that I really can't read.

126. Yes, I'm sick of running out of fucking teaspoons.

127. So you think we're ready to "constantly evolve through passion and creativity"?

128. - We are going to find out. - Carm.

129. - Yes. - Why are you doing this?

130. I can't waste that much time.

131. - I think some part of my heart just broke. - It's a good thing, Nat.

132. - It's a good thing. - Mm-hmm.

133. Oh, thank you, Unc. Anytime, doll.

134. Whoa, where's mine?

135. You know, buddy, I called in to get your order,

136. but they said you was back in the fridge

137. - yelling at yourself. - Thank you.

138. - Morning, Syd. Tasty shit last week. - Morning. Thank you.

139. Morning.

140. Hey.

141. Carm. Hey.

142. Hi.

143. What's up?

144. I don't know. Um...

145. I guess I'll start with, what is this?

146. It's, uh, R & D.

147. You redid everything?

148. Yeah. Well, I, uh— I subtracted and I pushed.

149. Okay. Do you want to spell out for me

150. what exactly you subtracted and what exactly you pushed?

151. Syd.

152. We're gonna get a star.

153. What?

154. I thought that was a trap.

155. - I thought we were gonna be dialed. - Okay.

156. Your cook was excellent, by the way.

157. Thank you for saying that.

158. But you still changed all my shit.

159. It's our shit,

160. and it's just, uh, some adjusting of the plating.

161. The scallop is perfect. We don't need the six other fishes.

162. The rib eye was too big. This is a cleaner plate.

163. Instead of the bucatini, we're gonna do a large raviolo.

164. Yolk inside?

165. Yolk inside and pancetta dust.

166. And, um—

167. Oh, I, uh— I put potato chips on the, uh, sea bass.

168. - Boulud nod? - Boulud nod, yes.

169. And, uh, we're gonna ditch the cavatelli.

170. Better for service.

171. Right. I'm gonna change it every day.

172. The cavatelli or the raviolo?

173. Everything.

174. We're gonna change everything every day?

175. Yes. I, uh, made a list.

176. - Sugar! - Why?

177. - So they can see what we're capable of. - Who's "they"?

178. Uh, can Tina do farmers market?

179. Probably, but you didn't answer my question.

180. And there's a Docusign in your inbox.

181. - Did you see that? - Carm. No. Saying what?

182. It is a partnership agreement. You, me, Nat.

183. There's a vetting schedule—

184. Vesting schedule. - Vesting schedule.

185. Thank you. - Okay. And what does that say?

186. How much of this place you're gonna own.

187. You okay?

188. I feel like I've been here an hour.

189. Yeah, it's, um— it's a lot.

190. Why are you doing this?

191. So that I can push you and you can push me.

192. That's what you wanted, right?

193. - You quitting smoking? - I'm trying, yes.

194. Have you talked to Richie yet, because this—

195. Ebra! Carmen.

196. Can you take the beef out of the fridge please, Chef?

197. Yes, Chef. Thank you.

198. "Nonnegotiables."

199. Yeah. I have nothing to do with it.

200. Explain, Carmen.

201. That's a bunch of stuff.

202. - Oh, that's great. Good job. - It's a bunch of stuff

203. that's gonna make this place more efficient.

204. This is the list of things that you made?

205. - Yes. - He also made a Docusign.

206. Did he tell you that?

207. - Yep. - It's an exciting day.

208. Mm-hmm.

209. - Right? - It is exciting.

210. - Yeah? - Yeah.

211. Um, the Computer drafted the agreement, so make sure to have a lawyer look at it.

212. - Wait. Which— Which computer? - The Computer.

213. Is that like AI or something? Nicholas Marshall.

214. Oh, the Computer is a person.

215. Of course. Why wouldn't he be?

216. Um, okay. I don't, um, have a lawyer.

217. - I think I know one. - Yes, you do.

218. Who? Pete.

219. Okay.

220. "Constantly evolve through passion and creativity."

221. "Of the place." Is that what you think "mise en place" means?

222. Good morning, team. How's everybody feeling?

223. Hey, Chef Syd, have you seen my iron?

224. Also, when you have a sec, would you ask Chef Carmen

225. what the fuck he did with my tables out front?

226. Uh, Chef Syd, would you please tell Richard

227. that I thought I would set him up for success

228. and arrange his tables in a more efficient pattern?

229. Is that what you did? - Yes, that's what I did.

230. It was really funny. I, uh— I walked in, and it was so strange.

231. It looked like the person who had done it previously

232. had never left the city of Chicago.

233. You can leave the city of Chicago out of it.

234. Zero flow, no efficiency, looked like shit,

235. so I thought I'd give you a hand.

236. Chef Syd, would you tell Chef Carmen

237. I can give him a fucking hand if he wants?

238. He wants to, he can. I—

239. - I'll give you a fucking hand. - Go ahead. Give me a fucking hand.

240. I'll give you a fucking hand. - I just might suggest

241. that the both of you stop, 'cause— 'cause I don't like this at all.

242. Syd, it's fine. Chef Carmen uses power phrases

243. 'cause he's a baby replicant who's not self-actualized,

244. which is maybe why he repeatedly referred to me as a loser.

245. - Richie, I apologized. - No, it's all good.

246. I don't need your apology.

247. I know how you feel now.

248. Also, I respect your honesty and bravery from inside a locked vault.

249. You know what? Matter of fact, Chef Sydney,

250. I don't remember Richard apologizing

251. for all the shit he was literally screaming at me—

252. - Natalie, you wanna help here? - Like, "I love you"?

253. Nope. What?

254. You know what? I'm keeping our shit separate from this shit,

255. like a goddamn G.

256. - Out there, that's my dojo. - Hmm.

257. Shit gets rearranged without my approval or consent,

258. it creates an environment of fear, and fear does not exist in that dojo.

259. Richard, I added more two-tops,

260. 'cause all those four-tops were fucking nonsense. Okay?

261. You added the four-tops in the first place.

262. I moved the flowers because, Jesus,

263. - that was a lot of flowers. - Guys.

264. - I can't keep apologizing. - Those flowers are elegant as shit!

265. - And you're screaming. - Am I?

266. Yeah, you are. Oh, yeah. That's fucking rich.

267. Is it? Is it fucking rich? Is it fucking rich, Richard?

268. You wanna get the fuck out of my face, Carmen?

269. Can you both shut the fuck up, please?

270. Sorry, Syd.

271. - It's just textbook sublimation. - Fuck off.

272. Seen it once, you've seen it a thousand times.

273. I actually don't know what the fuck to do right now.

274. Oh, my God. Am I finally having a stroke?

275. Can you please stop yelling for ten fucking minutes?

276. I'm not yelling.

277. Am I having a stroke? It's the lights.

278. Faks are on the way. That's plural "Faks."

279. - How many Faks? - At least two. Less than five.

280. Tremendous. - How many are there?

281. Eight. N-Nine. I always forget about Avery.

282. Christ Almighty.

283. Okay, Richie, here's what we're gonna do.

284. You got a problem, you got a question, you talk to me.

285. - Good. - He does not exist.

286. - Chef Sydney, I have a question. - Yes, Richie? Shoot.

287. What's this ass? Those are nonnegotiables.

288. - Are you not familiar with that phrase? - Stop.

289. - It says it right on the top of the page. - Stop. You, uh-uh. Nothing from you.

290. Richie, these are nonnegotiables.

291. - I can sense the sarcasm. - No. No, no, no. Not sarcasm.

292. - Snark, contempt even. - Chef Sydney, follow-up question.

293. - What the fuck are nonnegotiables? - Richie, I— I wish I could tell you.

294. They are on the page.

295. - You may read them for yourself. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

296. Interesting. You know, I gotta say that some of these suggestions

297. naturally I would have suggested. Great.

298. But, you know, when it does come to something like "vibrant collaboration,"

299. - I mean, that can get fucked, right? - No, you can get fucked.

300. - No, no, no. You get fucked. - I'm sorry. I think you can get fucked.

301. - No. You can get fucked. - No, please. After you.

302. - No, I insist. You get fucked. - No, please. You get fucked.

303. - Absolutely. You get fucked first— - No, you go ahead and get fucked.

304. I insist that you get fucked, my good man.

305. You both can get fucked. I would love to start working.

306. Also, when I see something like, "Change menu every day"?

307. I mean, for lack of a better word, that is fucking demented.

308. They are nonnegotiables. They're not to be negotiated.

309. I'm already negotiating that half some of these are complete bullshit.

310. Sorry. I forgot you worked in a three-star restaurant for ten minutes.

311. - Stop. - Hear that? All right. Thought experiment.

312. What if I had changed the beef sandwich every day, huh?

313. What the fuck would happen then?

314. - Probably would've gotten better. - Shut up. Shut up. Stop.

315. - It's true. - Not really.

316. Okay. Richie, think about it this way. Okay?

317. - These are goals for us to— - No, no, no, no, no.

318. 'Cause they're not goals, okay?

319. They are musts. They are nonnegotiables.

320. If we want to get a star, this is what we're going to do.

321. You two can keep talking shit, but this is what we have to do, okay?

322. They're nonnegotiables.

323. - They're not to be negotiated. - I know what they are.

324. You don't think I can do it?

325. - Are you for real right now? - Yes.

326. Okay.

327. Um, I think you've managed, in a miraculous way,

328. to make this about yourself.

329. And I think both of you have been yelling for the past ten minutes

330. and have given me a migraine at the base of my fucking skull.

331. - Thanks, man. - The fuck have you been doing with this?

332. I wanted to iron my suit, and I wanted to look sharp, so—

333. - He looks good. Doesn't he look sharp? - Neil, I told you that's a fresco wool.

334. You iron that shit, you're gonna look like a fucking stingray.

335. Am I stroking? Let's go, boys.

336. Gonna fix some lights. Send out some vibes.

337. - The vibe's up there, Ted. - Why is everyone standing around?

338. - It seems bad. - It's not bad. We're fine.

339. Nah, buddy. We are not fine.

340. - Chef Carmen has instituted... - No, we're fine.

341. - ... insane fucking policies... - Richie's being an asshole. That's normal.

342. - Nat, the vibe's weird. - You're such a fucking bitch.

343. You're such a bitch. I know. Don't be scared.

344. Why are you guys always so mad? I'm not mad.

345. What is this? Nonnegotiables.

346. Open your mouth.

347. Yeah. Mmm. Good.

348. Are you writing time codes on the tape now?

349. Detail and specificity, yes. Yeah.

350. Pea tendrils, 8:11 a.m.

351. 8:09 a.m., snap peas.

352. 8:15 a.m., I'm trapped in a prison of my own design.

353. Ted, do you have to do that right fucking there?

354. We gotta do this here. Light's right here, Carm.

355. Maniac. Sorry, Ted.

356. "Sorry, Ted." That's some real growth.

357. I apologized to you!

358. I apologized, Richie.

359. I apologized. I apologized.

360. Hey, man. Morning, all.

361. T. What's up, T?

362. Hey.

363. - Morning, Chef. - I, uh, said some shit.

364. Morning.

365. What's this? Nonnegotiables.

366. - Not what I said. That's not— - So, um, uh— I still love you. Bye.

367. That's not what I said, okay? I was just trying to be honest.

368. - I like it. - You ran away from it.

369. I didn't know how to respond to all the crazy shit you were saying.

370. You need to do some negotiating with yourself.

371. Oh, yeah? You tell me.

372. I don't like this. It's bad.

373. Changing the menu every day. Sounds a bit like running away.

374. Okay. Fuck you. There.

375. - All right? How about that? Fuck you. - Oh, no, there. Fuck you.

376. - There. Fuck you. - No, there. Fuck you. There!

377. Please stop.

378. This is scary. Too much, man.

379. Please calm down.

380. You two gotta chill this shit out. And what's with the menu change?

381. - Every day, Geoffrey Ballet? - Yes. Every day, Tina.

382. - Is that kinda crazy? - It's not crazy.

383. We can do it.

384. In order to do it, T, you're in charge of farmers markets.

385. Yes. I like it. Yes.

386. Carm, straight up, this is kinda banana town.

387. How is it banana town?

388. We have to remember a whole menu every day.

389. What? You can't learn a new menu every day?

390. I think I could. Stick up for yourself.

391. Absolutely, we could learn a new menu every day.

392. Richie, still fuck you. Think we can't keep up?

393. - Okay? - Okay, this is still crazy.

394. - Not crazy! I'm not crazy! - I'm not saying you're crazy, Bear.

395. Ask Claire if he's crazy.

396. That was a little low. A little?

397. I saw Claire Bear.

398. Jesus Christ.

399. What?

400. Yeah.

401. What?

402. Where?

403. Um, at a friend's.

404. Ted, why?

405. - Hey, Ted. - Because it slipped. I was uncomfortable.

406. - You guys are yelling— - Hey, Ted. Go.

407. It's all good.

408. All good.

409. It's all good?

410. Yeah, like, you know—

411. How— How— How— How could it possibly be all good?

412. I think it just—

413. it just seems a little impossible for it to be,

414. - like, all good. - Yeah, it's impossible that it's all good.

415. Richie, shut up.

416. - Ted, speak. - No, I mean, like, we—

417. - Like, we're all good. Like, right here. - Yeah, obviously. We're good.

418. This little cul-de-sac, we're good with her.

419. Yeah. - You know?

420. But, like, you're— you're not good with her, Carm.

421. - Okay. - Like, it's not it right now.

422. Like, it's— You're dusted.

423. Like, you're— Like, you're little—

424. Like, sweep his ass up, like, dusted.

425. No, we got it. No. Listen, Carm.

426. If good is right here, you know? You're, like— You're there.

427. Ted, that's above. - That would mean I am good.

428. I'm on a ladder. It's different. It's not.

429. I'm backwards on my up and down sometimes. It's like you're under the floor, G.

430. You're under the building.

431. - No shit he is. Enough. - All right, I got it.

432. - I said got it, motherfucker. - I don't know what you said to Claire.

433. - If it's like what you said to me— - I got it, okay? I got it.

434. Oh!

435. - Goddamn it. - Fuck.

436. Sorry. I'ma get this here.

437. You good? That's on me.

438. You good?

439. It's not broken, which is cool.

440. - Get it out of fucking here. - Just get it up.

441. Hope she wasn't— Get it up.

442. - What did you say to her, Carm? - I don't remember.

443. What doesn't he remember? Claire.

444. - Fuck you, Richie. Fuck you, okay? - Fuck you.

445. Bear? Claire.

446. - Claire. Got it. - Jesus Christ.

447. - What are we saying about Claire Bear? - Ask fucking Chef Carmen.

448. - Chef Carmen? What did you do? - I need a screwdriver.

449. - Why do you have to say it like that? - Trust me, I have to ask it like that.

450. - Hey, Teddy. - Sup, pimp?

451. - Carm thought he was talking to me. - That's a fact, yes.

452. Good morning, chefs. - Chef.

453. Chef. Gary.

454. Good morning. Chef.

455. Why is it so quiet?

456. He was gonna tell us what he said to Claire.

457. - Has anybody checked in on Marcus yet? - Yeah, I tried him.

458. Wait, what happened with Claire? Okay, maybe—

459. Classic behavioral dysregulation.

460. Richie, please. - I see the patterns.

461. She overheard him talking in the fridge,

462. and we're just trying to figure out what he said.

463. - How do you know? Does everybody know? - Group chat, bro.

464. And what did you say, Carm?

465. Basically, I—

466. I said that I thought it was all a waste of time.

467. Because?

468. Because I am who I am.

469. Yikes.

470. Okay, who cares?

471. - Let's get some work done, huh? - I actually agree.

472. Well then, I actually take it back. Fuck you.

473. - Fuck you. - Fuck you.

474. Okay. Okay, let's— Let's m— No, no, no, fuck you.

475. - Fuck you. - No, no, no, wait a second.

476. Shut up! - Fuck you.

477. - Fuck you. - Let's move on! Okay?

478. Some more bummers.

479. Daniela quit and Connor and Joey and Amy.

480. Who the fuck are Joey and Amy? Servers.

481. Why'd they quit? - Yeah, why?

482. Because they didn't wanna work in a "dysfunctional kitchen."

483. Show me a functional one. Turn it up.

484. That's for me.

485. - What is it now? - Noneya.

486. - What's none— Jesus Christ. - Noneya fucking business.

487. - Gary, are you good for class next week? - Yes, ma'am.

488. What class? Somm class.

489. Stop saying the same shit as me. You stop saying the same shit as me!

490. Stop. - Stop talking.

491. I'm going to wine school at the Quarter Master.

492. - Can I come too? - No.

493. - You don't like wine, sweetie. - Aren't you allergic to grapes?

494. - Obviously. - How are you gonna taste the wine?

495. Well...

496. Oh, shit, Gary, that reminds me.

497. Richard Betts's guide to wine arrived to you.

498. Oh. Appreciate it. Appreci— Wait a minute.

499. - Is this a scratch and sniff book, bro? - Bite your tongue. Betts is a fucking G.

500. What is this?

501. - Wait, what is that? - It's not for this, hon.

502. Okay.

503. That's twice. My bad on that. That's twice.

504. Okay. We also have to resolve the tipping issue, Carm.

505. What's the tipping issue? Service charge—

506. Or added tip. - Yeah.

507. Uh, it's nine courses. So 175 bucks, plus tip.

508. Thank you. Fine.

509. Good.

510. Richie? Good?

511. Don't. You can say it.

512. No, don't say it. Please don't.

513. Yes, you can say it. Don't say it.

514. - Actually, I think it's a good price. - Great.

515. - So carry on. Still, fuck you. Fuck you. - Fuck you. No, fuck you.

516. Had to say that? - Affirmative.

517. Oh, my God.

518. Fucking Francie Fak just made a resy.

519. - She really wanted to come in. - No. Oh, she wanted to come?

520. - She was psyched though. - Oh, she was psyched? She can fuck.

521. Actually, Chef Sydney, would you please let Chef Carmen know

522. my additional thoughts about tipping is

523. in general, it's a pretty fucked-up practice?

524. I can definitely relay your message.

525. - But I, personally, am curious why? - Why's it fucked up?

526. You judge a professional based on their performance

527. and determine how much money they're gonna make?

528. That's fucking stupid.

529. I go see a play, the actors are bullshit. I don't pay them?

530. I'm sorry. Do you go to a lot of theater, Richard?

531. I can't—

532. Nobody has to say anything. I just wanna work.

533. Just wanna be here with y'all and not think about it for a second. Cool?

534. What's this?

535. Nonnegotiables.

536. That feels like as good a time as any to get back to work, yeah?

537. Fuck yeah. Um—

538. T, let's go to the farmers' market together, okay?

539. You wanna pull up the van?

540. Yes, Chef. Thank you. Okay.

541. Natalie, Richie...

542. Reservations and new hires.

543. I'm gonna implement some side work.

544. Great. Carm? - Yeah, I will, uh, set the menu.

545. Gary, Neil, we'll do a walk-through. You can pass it along to Richard, okay?

546. Chef.

547. - Hey, Ted? We good? - Yeah. We good.

548. Okay. Can you level some of the tables out front, please?

549. - Chef. - Thank you.

550. Cool, okay.

551. We got about eight hours to service.

552. Chef.

553. Yo. - Yo.

554. Um... Look, I know that list probably looks crazy.

555. Not to me.

556. Um...

557. You said you don't wanna talk about it, and I get that.

558. But I just wanted you to know that some of us here,

559. we, uh— we probably know how you're feeling.

560. Um...

561. I know.

562. It's a weird couple days.

563. Yeah.

564. Just maybe, um...

565. You know, instead of not dealing with it, try to, um...

566. Is that what you did?

567. No.

568. No.

569. Um...

570. I'm just— I'm here, you know?

571. If you need anything, I'm here.

572. I was here when she died.

573. I know that.

574. And I, uh— I feel terrible.

575. No, I mean it as a good thing.

576. I think that's how it was supposed to be.

577. How do you mean?

578. I don't know, like,

579. she wanted me to be with y'all.

580. This is what's up now.

581. This place has gotta work.

582. And I need you to do something for me.

583. Yeah. Name it.

584. Take us there, Bear.

585. Yes, Chef.