1. - Chefs, table 38, two people!
Copy !req
2. Table 23, four people.
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3. - Broken sauce, Chef.
Need a new one.
- Yes, Chef.
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4. Fire 31, 25!
Two out on 31, Chefs!
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5. - Still not there. Again, Chef.
- Yes, Chef.
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6. Thank you, Chef.
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7. - Wait on 31, Chefs!
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8. - Why?
- Chef,
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9. - I'm sorry. It got too hot—
- Why?
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10. - It didn't cool down—
- Why?
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11. - Well, it was my fault—
- Go.
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12. - Fine.
Fire 19, Chefs!
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13. - Hold on 17, Chefs!
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14. - Why do you hire fucking idiots?
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15. Do you like working
with fucking idiots?
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16. - I'll do better.
- Say "yes, Chef."
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17. - Yes, Chef.
- Can you not handle this?
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18. - Is it too much for you?
Answer me.
- I can handle it.
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19. - I can handle it, Chef.
- I can handle it, Chef.
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20. - 12! 10! 36!
Don't fuck with my count!
- Fire 8, 13, 36!
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21. - 3! 52! 14!
- Sorry, Chefs! 8, 13, 29!
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22. Why are you serving
broken sauces? Why? I get it.
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23. You have a short man's complex.
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24. You can barely reach over
this fucking table, right?
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25. Is this why you have the tattoos
and your cool little scars,
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26. and you go out
you take your smoke breaks?
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27. It's fun, isn't it?
But, here's the thing.
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28. You're terrible at this.
You're no good at it.
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29. Go faster, motherfucker.
Keep going faster.
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30. Why are you so slow?
Why are you so fucking slow?
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31. Why? You think you're so tough.
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32. Yeah. Why don't you say this?
Say "yes, Chef, I'm so tough."
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33. - Yes, Chef. I'm so tough.
- Say "fucking yes, Chef.
I'm so tough."
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34. - Yes, Chef. I'm so tough.
- You are not tough.
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35. You are bullshit.
You are talentless.
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36. - Say fucking hands.
- Hands!
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37. You should be dead.
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38. Hands!
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39. the sandwich.
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40. You giving that to
the homeless guy?
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41. - Hands! Somebody
fucking answer me!
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42. Get that sandwich...
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43. Hands!
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44. Fucking Christ! Hands!
Please! Please!
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45. Yeah! Thank you!
Thank you, Chef!
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46. Now what,
I put this in the trash?
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47. Chef, do you want me to
strain that oil for you?
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48. No, no, I got it.
Thank you, Chef.
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49. Why am I using
a toothbrush, Chef?
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50. It's about consistency
and being consistent.
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51. We can't operate
at a higher level
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52. - without consistency.
I like this level.
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53. Me, too.
- Yeah, well,
at the French Laundry,
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54. - you know how much time—
- Well, go fuck
your French Laundry.
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55. Stupid fucking name.
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56. - Alright, then at Noma—
- Oh, and fuck your Noma, too!
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57. System, baby.
Noma's the shit, huh?
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58. The best. Teach you
to operate at a level
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59. you didn't even know
you could operate at, Marcus.
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60. And, just so we're clear,
I wanted to work here.
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61. - Mike wouldn't let me.
No, no, no.
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62. You went halfway
around the world
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63. to learn all this fancy,
useless fucking bullshit.
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64. I went to West Lawrence Avenue
and learned every lesson.
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65. - West Lawrence?
You talking about DeVry?
Yeah, exactly!
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66. Oh, DeVry.
We're serious about success.
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67. - Oh, is that— You supposed
to be fucking funny, fucko?
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68. Yeah? Let me tell
you something. No,
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69. for real! Where else
are you gonna learn
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70. crucial database management
specialization skills
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71. while troubleshooting
a vented Optispark distributor
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72. - in a TransAm?
- I would never
need to learn that.
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73. Definitely not Noma!
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74. I would legit do
anything to go to Noma.
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75. And eat bugs?
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76. - And be inspired, stupid.
Oh god,
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77. - and be lame.
- The ice cream machine
is broken!
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78. Shit.
- DeVry teach you to fix that?
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79. You know what?
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80. Actually, yes.
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81. - Go fuck yourself.
- You graduated?
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82. Fuck no.
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83. Does anyone ever
order the ice cream?
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84. - I forgot we had ice cream.
- Hm.
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85. (on TV)
every time in
the same direction.
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86. Maria forms the dough,
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87. picking up all the flour,
so her board is clean.
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88. She then kneads it,
until it is smooth.
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89. The dough should rest
for at least 30 minutes.
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90. Maria roughly chops
two cloves of garlic
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91. and two sage leaves.
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92. She wraps this up in muslin...
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93. Fire! Table 16!
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94. - 17! Table 23! Order!
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95. - Go faster, motherfucker.
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96. - Why are you so slow?
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97. Why are you so fucking slow?
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98. Take a break, sweetheart.
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99. Fuck!
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100. Hey, you got time?
- Hey. Always. What's up?
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101. Uh, I-I just wanted to say
thanks for this past week.
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102. It's been a really
great opportunity. Uh,
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103. but I wanna do more. I wan—
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104. - I know. You want more to do.
- More to do, yeah.
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105. And I wanna get paid.
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106. - You get paid.
- I get paid to stage.
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107. I wanna get paid
to work here.
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108. I feel like I've been...
working here.
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109. I-I did do some
extra credit though.
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110. It's um... Lot of words.
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111. Yeah, but th-they
basically say
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112. we're getting
killed on labor.
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113. We're open from 11:00
to 9:00. That's dumb.
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114. We should be open from
11:00 to 2:00 for lunch
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115. - and 5:00 to 9:00 for dinner.
- Mm-hmm.
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116. Not to mention
you're spending money
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117. on pretty high-end stuff.
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118. - Farmers market produce—
- Is my hair on fire?
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119. Uh, not yet, no,
but you need help, and...
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120. you do this, I mean,
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121. these savings, 20% of them
could cover my yearly salary.
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122. That's not even accounting
for other people's, you know?
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123. Plus, we're sleeping
on to-go's.
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124. - That's business just
sitting right...
- Yeah. No, no, no.
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125. We don't have the support
system or organization
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126. for a food-to-go business.
We need to figure out pack—
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127. Packaging, right.
On page 27, randomly, um,
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128. th-there's actually
some... a pretty good layout
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129. - of just that.
- Page 27?
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130. Yeah, it's...
mostly graphics.
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131. Yo, Carm!
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132. - Listen...
- Yo.
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133. Yo. I can handle this
myself, cousin. I got this.
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134. So...
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135. You're not Ron.
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136. Ron's gone. Gone gone.
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137. - Ron's dead?
Who is Ron?
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138. My partner, Ron Pager.
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139. He passed away.
I'm running his routes now.
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140. Nancy Chore,
Chicago Board of Health.
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141. I'm here to inspect
the property.
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142. Okay, Nancy, hi.
I'm Carmen Berzatto.
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143. - I'm the owner.
- He's the owner's brother,
actually.
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144. He's also dead.
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145. He doesn't look dead.
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146. No, no, I'm not dead.
My brother's dead.
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147. - I'm very sorry to hear that.
Thank you.
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148. Yeah, I'm sorry
for your loss, too.
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149. Can I, uh, see some
kind of identification?
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150. Yeah.
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151. Interesting.
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152. Is it? It's interesting.
What's interesting about that?
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153. - It's an interesting...
logo on the badge.
- Nancy,
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154. you need anything,
just find us.
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155. - Make yourself at home.
Okay? Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
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156. Where's Tina and Ebra?
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157. - No funny business, Ms. Chore.
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158. - You, too.
- Okay.
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159. I also noted on the COG
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160. that, uh, it's not
necessarily flour
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161. that's expensive
but the shipping.
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162. So, we could just have
somebody go and pick it up.
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163. Yeah, Marcus.
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164. Okay, sure.
Marcus. Great.
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165. No, it can only be Marcus.
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166. Why can it only be Marcus?
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167. Sweeps, Tina, and Ebra
don't drive.
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168. Uh, well, what about Richie?
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169. Suspended license.
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170. I-I saw him drive in
this morning.
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171. I'm telling you, beware of
bitches with little notebooks.
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172. Sydney walked in here
a couple of days ago,
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173. and now she running shit
just like that?
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174. All fucking willowy
and scribbling.
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175. "Chef, I would do anything
to work at Noma."
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176. Bitch, look around.
This ain't Noma.
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177. The health inspector
is coming in here.
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178. She's not nice.
She's not your friend.
She may smile.
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179. Don't— See the teeth?
Those are daggers.
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180. - The point is it's one of
a hundred things we can do...
- Sydney.
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181. - ... to save costs and—
- Sydney, Sydney, Sydney, Sydney!
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182. Look, I'm sure
this is all correct, okay?
But, it's a lot.
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183. The job you're describing
goes way outside
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184. what I can afford
to pay a sous,
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185. which I can barely
afford already.
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186. But, I-I hear you, okay?
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187. I have every intention of
turning this into an efficient,
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188. respectable place
of business run by adults.
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189. Oh my god.
That's some fucking ass shit!
- Eventually.
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190. Does anybody know
how dangerous this is?
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191. - Yo! Yo! What's going on?
- Nah, just—
It wasn't dangerous...
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192. What's dangerous?
- ... Ms. Chore,
until you pulled it out.
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193. I discovered a large
hole in the tile.
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194. Looks like a former gas line
next to the stovetops.
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195. Not only was it not properly
dry-walled and caulked,
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196. but someone clogged
the hole with napkins
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197. - and then proxied over it
with some kind of plastic.
Don't look at me.
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198. Grease seeped into the napkins
and the proxy became unproxied.
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199. - What does that mean?
- A potential cross-contaminate.
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200. Additionally, no hot water
in the hand station.
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201. - Wait, that hot water actua—
Okay, that one,
you know, Ms. Chore,
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202. I told Chicago Ron
this a hundred times.
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203. - You just gotta wait a minute...
- You're gonna talk over me?
And take longer?
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204. - ... so you can relax
on that one. So, relax.
- Cool. Good.
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205. Health code states
any sink near a prep area
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206. needs to deliver
instantly hot water
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207. - to prevent the spread
of bacteria.
Yeah—
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208. I haven't even delivered
the big one yet.
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209. - There's a big one.
W-what is the big one?
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210. Someone left a pack
of cigarettes
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211. on the stovetop
near the burners.
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212. - Not only very dangerous,
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213. but also a potential
contaminant.
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214. - Motherfucker.
- You can say that again.
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215. - Motherfucker!
- Don't actually say it again,
you fucking idiot!
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216. You're about to get
fuckin' power-washed, cousin!
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217. Unfortunately!
These violations
leave me no choice.
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218. - I award you a C.
No! No, no, no!
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219. - Wait, no, no, no!
- That's some hood shit.
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220. You know what? I'm gonna
caulk that shit right now.
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221. Oh, oh, oh, it doesn't
matter how fast you do it.
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222. I can't come back
to test for 30 days.
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223. What! It'll take five—
No, no, no! Don't touch that.
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224. It will take five seconds
to caulk!
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225. - I can caulk!
Let me fucking caulk!
Richie!
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226. Richie, there's
no caulk in-house, dude.
- Shut the fuck up, Fak!
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227. See you all later.
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228. Shut the fuck up!
Yeah, but I'm saying
there's no caulk in the house.
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229. Dude, it's okay. We'll fix it.
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230. Bitch at me?
You wanna run this place,
you fucking slob?
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231. How do you know they're
not your cigarettes?
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232. Put it in the fucking window!
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233. You put it in
the fucking window!
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234. Stop! Stop!
Let's not do this.
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235. - That's your C.
- Alright! Here's what
we're gonna do.
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236. You're gonna go
to the hardware store,
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237. you're gonna get
some joint compound,
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238. you're gonna get some caulk,
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239. and you're gonna
caulk that shit.
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240. - Okay, well, uh, FYI,
I'm not your fucking gopher.
FYI?
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241. FYI? FYI?
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242. You cocked it up,
you're gonna caulk it out.
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243. Well, I would love to, but, uh,
my license is expired, FYI.
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244. You drove in this morning...
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245. Sydney, you wanna help?
You can take him.
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246. No. Time out.
I'll Uber. Thank you.
Grow up.
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247. Surge rates, fucko.
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248. Fine.
But I'm taking my car.
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249. I... I don't care.
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250. He's that broke
that took him out?
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251. I graduated with a C.
We know.
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252. Ballbreaker...
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253. er... er... er... er...
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254. Fak, fix that fucking sound.
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255. Fix that fucking sound.
Please fix that fucking sound!
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256. - I will fix it.
Fak always fixes it.
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257. The kids come in,
they break it, what happens?
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258. I fix the Balls.
Fak always fixes the Balls.
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259. Fix it!
I'll fix the Balls!
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260. Such fucking bullshit.
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261. Can you, um,
can you hold this?
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262. - You got...
You gotta wiggle it.
- Oh.
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263. Okay. I should've known
that I had to wiggle it.
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264. Th-that's on me.
That's me that
I don't wiggle it.
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265. I wasn't expecting company,
by the way.
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266. These Arby's cups are
from different visits.
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267. I respect that.
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268. Shit...
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269. Where is this shit?
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270. - We can always talk to
somebody who works here...
- No, no, no.
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271. I can find this myself.
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272. Can't believe I'm taking
orders from a fucking toddler
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273. right now. You know,
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274. my entire life,
I had to listen to everybody
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275. acting all worried about him
all the time. "He's a baby.
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276. Don't get Carmine into trouble."
You know?
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277. I was a baby too once, Sydney.
Nobody gave a fuck.
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278. Okay, um, I'm sorry about that,
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279. but none of that, like,
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280. messed up the wall that
we're here to fix, so...
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281. Fuck that.
He's giving me crap
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282. about not letting him work
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283. at the restaurant
when he was a kid?
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284. You think I give a fuck
where that dude works?
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285. It was fuckin' Mikey.
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286. Wait, why didn't Michael want
him to work at the restaurant?
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287. Because he's a little bitch,
probably.
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288. Can I ask, like, what...
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289. What was, like,
the deal with Michael?
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290. Uh, he shot himself in
the head four months ago.
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291. - Jesus. Uh...
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292. W-were you guys, like,
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293. related on your mom's side
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294. or like your dad's or—
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295. Neither.
He was my best friend.
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296. Boom!
There's that shit.
Told you.
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297. Silicone, adhesive caulk,
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298. acrylic caulk—
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299. Are you just reading
what's on the labels?
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300. Okay, we got rubber sealant—
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301. - I'm gonna find somebody
who works here.
- No!
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302. I got this.
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303. And then, you know, the,
uh, the produce bill is due.
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304. You know,
and the power comes in,
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305. and, uh, I-I can't build
enough of a parachute.
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306. You know, even if we got
this place packed,
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307. that's only, like,
a week of survival cash.
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308. It's exhausting
listening to this.
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309. - You asked me what's going on.
- I asked you where you been.
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310. Yeah, you're looking at it.
This is where I been.
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311. Carm, this place is bullshit.
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312. Alright? I mean,
you're never gonna fix it.
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313. Y-you can't start at fucked.
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314. You understand that, right?
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315. - Is that really a question?
- You're operating a business
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316. historically has a lower
success rate than...
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317. I don't know,
Chicago fucking Bears.
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318. You know, you're
having a hard time
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319. keeping your vendors current,
your crew paid.
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320. Alright? And we're
not even getting into
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321. the money I lent your brother.
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322. - I didn't know Michael
took money from you
- He took a lot of money from me.
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323. I mean, cash infusions
for this place,
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324. you know, term loans,
which he never paid back.
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325. Now, I gotta hold
you responsible.
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326. Okay.
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327. How, uh, h-how much?
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328. 300 grand.
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329. Jesus Christ, Jimmy.
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330. Jesus Christ is right, Carm.
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331. And it's not like he
put it into this place.
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332. Still looks like some kid
painted it with his ass.
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333. Look...
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334. No disrespect,
you know, your brother,
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335. he was an animal, you know,
surrounded by dickheads,
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336. and then he lost
his mind, and now
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337. he put you in
a real tough spot.
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338. That's why you stopped by?
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339. I stopped by to see you.
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340. Shoulda stopped by
to break your legs,
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341. but, you know,
I guess I'm becoming forgetful.
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342. Why'd you give him the money?
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343. Very good question.
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344. You know, I, uh...
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345. I don't know. He said he was
gonna franchise the place,
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346. but you knew that
was bullshit.
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347. You still gave it to him.
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348. I loved him, too.
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349. Look...
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350. Let's just do
the easy thing here,
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351. and you sell it to me.
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352. No.
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353. No, you just said restaurants
are bad for business.
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354. Who says I'm gonna
keep it a restaurant?
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355. I'll get you
the money, Jimmy.
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356. Alright? I promise you.
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357. Oh, shit. We're gonna be in
gridlock for over an hour
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358. - 'cause of your
new best friend.
- Okay, well—
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359. I don't even know why you wanna
work for that little stunad.
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360. - Because he's good.
Oh my god...
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361. Like, whether you
like it or not,
he's incredibly talented,
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362. and we could all learn
a lot from him.
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363. - You know he was one of
Food & Wine's Best New Chefs
- Oh, we could...
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364. - when he was 21?
- Oh my god!
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365. He was one of Food & Wine's
Best New Chefs?
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366. Is that what you just told me?
That changes everything!
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367. Really good short-term memory,
Richie. Congrats on that.
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368. You know the restaurant
could be good.
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369. Like, I know you know that.
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370. Like, it doesn't have to be
a place where the food is shitty
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371. or everybody acts shitty
and feels shitty.
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372. - Like, it could be
a good legit spot.
- Okay, you know what, Sydney?
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373. You're getting
a little aggressive,
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374. and I think maybe
you should just pause
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375. - and take a breath
before you start driving.
- Okay.
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376. - Man or woman,
I'm not discriminating.
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377. It's dangerous to get
behind the wheel
when you're hysterical.
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378. The fuck does
she keep calling me?
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379. - Hey, why do you
keep calling me?
- Fuck me...
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380. What's going on with her?
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381. Is she crying again?
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382. What'd you say?
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383. Well...
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384. I'd be crying, too.
She's at this different school,
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385. and those kids are
a bunch of fuckfaces.
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386. Hold on...
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387. Hold on.
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388. Can I just talk to her, please?
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389. Hey, sweetie.
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390. How you doing?
You not doing so good?
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391. What's wrong?
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392. Oh, you're scared?
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393. Uh, w-what are you scared about?
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394. Yeah.
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395. I get it.
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396. But, you know what?
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397. You're gonna do great.
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398. I promise.
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399. And if you don't,
I'm gonna give you $500.
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400. But you're gonna do great.
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401. And I'm gonna see
you on Friday, right?
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402. Of... How can you...
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403. Of course, I still love you.
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404. I love you so, so much.
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405. I love you more and more
every day, if that's possible.
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406. I just...
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407. No. I don't need
to talk to Mommy.
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408. But, uh, call me after,
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409. you know, let me
know how it went.
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410. Okay.
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411. I'm so proud of you, kiddo.
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412. I love you.
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413. Sorry.
My, uh, ahem,
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414. my daughter's going
through a phase.
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415. Uh, yeah. Uh...
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416. Uh, h-how old is she?
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417. Uh, she's 5.
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418. Like Carmy.
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419. Food & Wine's
Best New Dickhead.
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420. Fuck.
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421. I fucked up with
those cigarettes.
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422. I'm sorry, uh, about Michael.
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423. And I got the wrong
caulk, I think.
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424. You did.
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425. - But...
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426. I didn't.
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427. Oh, shit.
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428. - Syd making moves.
- Fuck off, Richie.
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429. Carm?
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430. - Hey, Pete.
- Pete Hey. Uh...
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431. Everything okay?
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432. Yeah. No, I'm good.
I just, um...
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433. Sugar wasn't picking
up her phone.
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434. Oh.
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435. Look, I was just, um—
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436. Uh, h-hold on. Why—
Lemme get Nat.
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437. I— No, I just—
I-I-I'm sorry. I, uh...
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438. - Nat!
- I wanted to talk to you about
something. I, uh, I just...
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439. I wanted to apologize.
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440. - Oh.
- Uh, for last time.
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441. No, you know what?
I went to Urgent Care,
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442. and they gave me some stuff
to put on it, and, uh...
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443. No, I-I shouldn't—
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444. Hey, Nat! Just hold on.
Let me grab her.
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445. - Oh, uh, okay.
- Let me grab her, one second.
No problem! No problem.
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446. - Sugar: What is going on?
- It's Carmy.
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447. - Why's he calling you?
- I don't know.
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448. - You calling Pete?
- Carmy: You weren't
picking up the phone.
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449. I'm making dinner.
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450. Did you hear I apologized?
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451. So?
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452. Cicero was here.
- Yeah, I heard.
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453. I also heard there's
a C in the window?
Nice.
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454. Listen, Sugar...
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455. I woke up in the middle
of the night
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456. cooking a bunch of
wrapped frozen shit.
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457. I almost set
my apartment on fire.
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458. Does that happen a lot?
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459. Sometimes.
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460. Did you look at the thing?
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461. No, I didn't look at the thing.
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462. Pete and I have
been going lately,
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463. and it's actually
been really nice.
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464. Yeah, of course Pete would go.
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465. Oh, shut the fuck up.
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466. You want me to
shut the fuck up?
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467. No, not you, sweetie.
Y-you didn't say anything.
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468. Oh. Copy that.
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469. What are you making?
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470. Mom's chicken.
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471. Look, I'm, uh,
I'm fine.
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472. Really. You know, I just have
trouble breathing sometimes,
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473. - and I wake up screaming.
What?
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474. I-I know tons of people
that cry out of nowhere.
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475. Okay. I just sent
it to you again.
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476. Like, I don't wanna
bother you, okay? Uh—
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477. No, you're not bothering me,
but that isn't, like, un-scary.
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478. When did the breathing
problem start?
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479. I think maybe
sometime in New York.
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480. I was throwing up
every day before work.
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481. Oh. Okay. Well,
that sounds chill.
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482. I kind of dug it.
- You dug throwing up?
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483. No. No, no, it was awful.
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484. Uh, chef was a piece of shit.
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485. Then why'd you stay there?
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486. I don't know. Um...
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487. People loved the food.
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488. It felt good.
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489. Chefs always say
a big part of the job
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490. is taking care of people, right?
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491. Yeah. Yeah. No, I guess.
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492. Okay, well,
you can't really do that
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493. if you're not taking care
of yourself then.
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494. And I like when you
tell me things. Just...
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495. - I'm asking you to
look at the thing.
- Mm-hmm.
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496. It's okay to ask for help.
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497. I understand. I do.
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498. Okay.
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499. Oh, f...
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500. - Ass!
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501. - Yo. Need you up front.
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502. Uh, y-y-yeah, yeah, yeah.
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503. I-I'll be right there.
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504. Thank you very much.
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505. Chef, let's fire
two chicken peppers,
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506. - two sausage pepper,
two mortadell.
Two chicken pepper,
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507. two sausage pepper,
two mortadell, Chef!
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508. Thank you, Chef.
Yes, Chef.
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509. Fire, one with sausage pepper,
one with mortadell!
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510. One sausage pepper,
one more mortadell, Chef!
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511. - Thank you, Chef.
Okay, let's fire
one more sausage pepper,
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512. - two more mortadell!
- Behind.
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513. One more sausage pepper,
one more mortadell, Chef!
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514. - Two more mortadell.
Two more
mortadell, Chef!
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515. Gorgeous. Thank you, Chef.
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516. - You want a line change?
- No. No, stay. I'll tournant.
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517. - Thank you for taking
Richie today.
- Oh yeah, no sweat.
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518. - Do you want me to,
uh, come in tomorrow?
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519. - Please. You're hired.
- Yeah?
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520. Yes. Your pass, Chef.
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521. Thank you, Chef.
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522. Uh, can I get hands, please?
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523. And fire one more
sausage pepper!
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524. One more
sausage pepper, Chef!
Thank you, Chef.
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525. Yo. Fix that hole?
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526. Yeah. Yeah. Is the Health
Department coming back?
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527. Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
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528. - Fuckin' Cicero.
- Cicero.
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529. - We all good in there?
- Yeah.
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530. Yeah, yeah.
I'm just gonna burn one.
I haven't had one all day.
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531. - I'll see you in a sec, alright?
- Alright.
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532. Fuck.
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