The Angry Video Game Nerd 1x2

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The Nerd talks about the worst game ever for the NES.

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1. - Castlevania Two: Simon's Quest may be a pretty bad game,

2. but it is God compared to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

3. That game is just the epitome of bad.

4. I mean, I know you've played a lot of bad games before,

5. but no, let me tell you.

6. That game is bad.

7. I mean, it's like Castlevania Two,

8. you expect it to be, like, no,

9. it's like you expect it to be good

10. because it's one of the Castlevania games, it's a sequel.

11. But it's such a disappointment

12. that it's such a big fuckin' piece of shit.

13. But Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

14. and a lot of other Nintendo games,

15. there isn't any expectations.

16. There's no disappointments to be bad

17. because they're just, you know, rare, obscure games.

18. You know, McKids or Tax Man or whatever, you know.

19. But Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, as rare and obscure as it is,

20. you play it once and you're haunted for life.

21. I mean, I'm traumatized after playing it.

22. I can't believe how bad it is.

23. I mean, it's bad.

24. Like, that's why I'm coming in front of the camera right now

25. to show you with my own face how fuckin' bad it is.

26. I mean, with Simon's Quest,

27. you heard the sincerity in my voice.

28. But now see the sincerity in my eyes.

29. This game is fuckin' horrible!

30. It's fuckin' horrible.

31. I mean it's like,

32. Pong is better, Pong is only like three lines and a ball.

33. Those little Tiger electronic wrist games,

34. those are better than Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

35. It makes no fuckin' sense.

36. It's like, what were they thinking?

37. Like, I seriously can't believe

38. how bad that fuckin' game is.

39. It's so bad, that I'm not even gonna show it to you

40. because it's just...

41. I mean...

42. Maybe you need some kind of proof.

43. Maybe I should show you some clips from the game.

44. It's gonna be really hard, though.

45. I just, I just don't wanna play it right now.

46. I really don't wanna play it.

47. I don't, I don't even wanna look at the fuckin' box

48. that cases that piece of shit.

49. That game's fuckin' bad.

50. It's fuckin' horrible.

51. I'm gonna show it to you, though,

52. just to prove how bad it is.

53. But I warn you.

54. Here it goes.

55. Here it is, here's the piece of shit game.

56. Who the hell spent this much fuckin' money on this game?

57. This is so not worth the time.

58. First of all, who are these people trying to kill you?

59. Why do you walk so slow?

60. And the staff doesn't do anything, look at this.

61. I'm gonna try to kill somebody and it's not gonna work.

62. See that, it's like, they give you a weapon

63. and then it doesn't do anything.

64. I mean, imagine if in Zelda,

65. imagine if Link couldn't use his sword.

66. And then look, then you die

67. and then you turn into Mr. Hyde I guess.

68. You walk around punching people

69. and throwing shit, and then for no reason, you just die.

70. Lightning will strike, like, it's real spontaneous,

71. then you're dead.

72. And then the game's over.

73. What the fuck is that shit?

74. Okay.

75. You've seen the game.

76. Now that should satisfy all your curiosity.

77. If you are curious enough to play it,

78. just do yourself a favor and don't.

79. I mean if you're like a hardcore Nintendo fan as I am,

80. and you have to have every single game in your collection,

81. please do yourself an enormous favor

82. and just stay the fuck away from this awful piece of shit.

83. I mean, don't even buy it used for like a penny or whatever.

84. I mean, that shiny gold copper

85. will be worth a fortune someday

86. compared to this awful pile of steaming dog shit.

87. I mean, don't even download it.

88. No matter how curious you are,

89. just do yourself a favor, never play it.

90. Because you will be wishing for the rest of your life

91. that you could invent a time machine

92. and go back to the day you played that game

93. and just fuckin' kill yourself.

94. I mean, if you ever find the game, if you ever see it,

95. smash it, smash it with a hammer.

96. Smash it 'til every tiny fragment

97. is so small, it's invisible.

98. I mean, you'd rather superglue your asshole shut

99. than play that game.

100. You'd rather drown in gasoline.

101. You'd rather, you know, the thing is,

102. you think I'm joking,

103. like I'm trying to be funny or something.

104. The fact that that game exists

105. is a horrible abomination of mankind.

106. That game is so fuckin' horrible.

107. And I am not kidding.

108. I am dead fuckin' serious.

109. Dead fuckin' serious.