1. - Let me take you back to when
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2. Capcom Street Fighter II came out.
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3. I never heard of the first one,
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4. but hey, this is an awesome game,
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5. can't wait for Street Fighter III.
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6. Then comes Street Fighter
II, the Champion Edition.
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7. Oh cool, Street Fighter III's next, right?
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8. Nope, Street Fighter II Turbo.
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9. Okay, awesome, can't wait
for Street Fighter III.
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10. Super Street Fighter II,
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11. um, cool, Street Fighter III?
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12. Super Street Fighter II Turbo.
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13. What the fuck?
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14. At first, I thought all these updates
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15. were kind of nice to hold you over,
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16. but how many times can you
update the same fucking game?
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17. It's getting ridiculous.
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18. I'm not gonna buy it again.
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19. Well, then finally comes
Street Fighter Alpha,
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20. then Street Fighter Alpha 2,
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21. and after that, I honestly lost track.
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22. There eventually was a Street Fighter III,
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23. like nine million versions of it.
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24. But there was also Street Fighter Zero,
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25. Street Fighter EX,
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26. EX2, and EX2 Plus.
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27. Not to mention, way back on the NES
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28. there was Street Fighter 2010,
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29. and I couldn't tell
you where that fits in.
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30. And speaking of Capcom,
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31. Mega Man's another series where
the numbering got confusing.
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32. There's Mega Man I through
VI on the Nintendo.
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33. But then on the Super Nintendo,
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34. there's Mega Man X,
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35. which at the time I thought
it meant Mega Man 10.
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36. But then came Mega Man X2 and X3.
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37. Strangely enough, there was a Mega Man 7
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38. on Super Nintendo after all.
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39. That's right, two different series
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40. going on at the same time.
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41. Then on the PlayStation consoles,
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42. there was Mega Man X4,
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43. X5,
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44. X6,
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45. X7, and X8.
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46. There was even a Mega Man 8,
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47. a regular Mega Man 8 on PlayStation.
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48. Now only if they made a Mega Man 9,
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49. it would come full circle.
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50. Doesn't end there either,
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51. what's this? Mega Man
Battle Network series?
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52. Mega Man 64?
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53. Did they really make it that far? No.
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54. That was just the Nintendo
64's stupid gimmick
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55. of putting 64 at the end
of every fucking title.
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56. Another thing that really grinds my shit
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57. is when the Japanese and American
releases of games differ.
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58. The results can also be pretty confusing.
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59. A good example was when
Super Mario Bros. 2 in Japan
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60. wasn't released in America till later,
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61. but what we got in its place
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62. was a completely different version,
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63. though it was still called
Super Mario Bros. 2.
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64. And the Japanese one came
later as The Lost Levels.
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65. The Final Fantasy Series
is the prime example.
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66. Not being a hardcore fan,
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67. I'll attempt to explain it
to the best of my knowledge.
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68. From what I understand,
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69. Final Fantasy II, at the
time of its Japanese release,
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70. wasn't released in the US.
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71. Neither was Final Fantasy III,
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72. but Final Fantasy IV came out here,
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73. and because we didn't have II or III,
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74. it wouldn't have made sense to call it IV,
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75. so what do they do?
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76. They call it II.
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77. Now, Final Fantasy V wasn't
released here either.
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78. So, when VI came out, that became III.
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79. Final Fantasy III also happens to be
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80. one of my all-time favorite
games on the Super Nintendo.
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81. And I remember that after that,
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82. Squaresoft started releasing
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83. the next Final Fantasy
games on PlayStation.
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84. Things changed,
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85. and now they weren't fucking
with the titles anymore.
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86. So, when Final Fantasy VII came out,
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87. they just called it Final Fantasy VII.
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88. And that's where the confusion began.
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89. I wondered, what the fuck
happened to IV, V, and VI?
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90. But what I really should
have been wondering,
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91. little did I know,
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92. what the fuck happened to II, III, and V?
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93. Well, once I figured that out,
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94. I was like...
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95. So there were other Final Fantasy games
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96. we didn't know about?
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97. I was playing VI all along and not III?
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98. What a bunch of fucking bullfuck!
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99. Now let's talk about movies now
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100. cause I have a lot to say.
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101. One of the things that really
brings my piss to a boil
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102. is when there's a movie
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103. that has a whole bunch of sequels
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104. all conveniently numbered,
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105. but then they suddenly decide
to stop numbering them.
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106. Take Halloween for example.
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107. Halloween,
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108. Halloween II,
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109. Halloween III,
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110. Halloween 4,
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111. Halloween 5,
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112. The Curse of Michael Myers,
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113. H2O,
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114. and Halloween Resurrection.
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115. Oh God.
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116. If they continue like this years from now,
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117. future generations aren't gonna know
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118. which order these films came in
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119. unless they do a little research first.
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120. What I wanna know is why was it okay
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121. to number the first
five, but not after that?
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122. Like they're embarrassed
they made so many.
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123. Not to mention, each one just
sucked harder and harder.
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124. And if anything,
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125. the more fucking sequels there are,
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126. the more necessary it would be
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127. to just fucking number them.
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128. The Star Trek series did the same thing.
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129. Right now, there's 10 of them.
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130. Star Trek I through VI were all numbered.
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131. But when they stopped using the
original cast from the show,
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132. and started using the cast from
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133. Star Trek: The Next Generation,
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134. they dropped the numbers from the films
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135. and called them Star Trek: Generations,
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136. Star Trek: First Contact,
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137. Star Trek: Insurrection,
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138. and Star Trek: Nemesis.
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139. Okay, well that's real fine,
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140. but where'd the fucking numbers go?
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141. If they couldn't call
Star Trek: Generations,
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142. Star Trek VII,
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143. then why didn't they just call it
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144. Star Trek: The Next
Generation, off the show,
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145. and then called the next one
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146. Star Trek: The Next Generation II,
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147. and just start a new line of sequels?
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148. But hey, some of the original cast was in
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149. Star Trek: Generations.
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150. So instead, they should've called it
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151. Star Trek VII/The Next Generation Part I.
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152. Actually nevermind, just fuck it.
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153. I've always praised the Rocky movies,
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154. what a perfect string of sequel titles.
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155. Rocky,
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156. Rocky II,
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157. Rocky III,
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158. Rocky IV,
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159. and Rocky V.
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160. No subtitles, all Roman numbers,
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161. consistent, perfect.
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162. But they're gonna fuck it all up now
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163. by calling the new one Rocky Balboa.
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164. Seriously? Are you kidding me?
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165. Rocky Balboa?
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166. Why can't it be Rocky VI?
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167. Rocky Balboa sounds
like it's the first one
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168. but just adding his last name.
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169. And what if they made another one?
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170. Would they include his middle initial?
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171. And then his date of birth?
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172. Well, what a shitload of fuck.
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173. What kind of stupid excuse
for a title is this?
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174. Reveal more of the character's name?
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175. It's like making a
prequel of Forrest Gump,
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176. and just calling it Forrest.
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177. Now with talk of Rambo four coming out,
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178. what are they gonna do?
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179. Call it John Rambo?
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180. And speaking of Rambo,
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181. that's a series that somehow
completely changed its title.
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182. The first one was called First Blood,
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183. that's it, First Blood.
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184. The second one was called
First Blood Part II.
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185. And then the third one
was called Rambo III.
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186. So, what, they just
forgot about First Blood?
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187. The correct title would be Rambo II,
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188. First Blood Part III.
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189. The Alien series is also pretty fucked up.
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190. They start with Alien,
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191. then Aliens, which makes sense.,
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192. first there was one alien
and now there's many.
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193. The title's consistent
with the plot and it works.
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194. But then, uh oh,
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195. they make a third one.
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196. Oh gee, what are we gonna call it?
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197. Can't be Aliens's, that won't work.
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198. Besides, there's only one alien again,
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199. so let's just call it Alien 3.
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200. That works, there's not really much else
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201. they could've called it.
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202. But now you'd think it's time to
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203. start numbering the sequels from now on.
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204. You think?
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205. Or would that just be too traditional?
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206. Well, the next one's
called Alien: Resurrection.
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207. At first, I thought it was a fucking joke.
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208. Apart from Resurrection
being one of the most
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209. overused words to be found in a sequel,
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210. there's no reason not
to use the number four.
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211. I mean, you numbered the last movie,
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212. why can't you number this one?
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213. So, what do you wanna do?
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214. Do you wanna number them?
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215. Or use cliche words?
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216. I don't care which but
make up your fucking minds.
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217. You don't start numbering sequels
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218. and then go back to not numbering them.
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219. And there's more than one alien again,
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220. so why isn't the title
plural, like in Aliens?
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221. What were they thinking?
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222. The title of Bruce Lee's first major film
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223. was called the Big Boss.
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224. But when they released it in the US,
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225. the American distributors,
or whoever was responsible,
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226. decided to change the
title to Fists of Fury.
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227. Well, okay, well, that's just fine.
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228. But the next one happened
to be called Fist of Fury.
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229. So...
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230. Uh oh.
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231. We fucked up.
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232. What are we gonna call it here in the US?
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233. We can't call it Fist of Fury,
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234. because we changed the
last one to Fists of Fury.
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235. Call it The Chinese Connection
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236. and from now on, just call the movies
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237. whatever the fuck they're
originally called.
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238. Jackie Chan made a movie
called Armour of God,
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239. and the sequel was called Armour
of God 2: Operation Condor.
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240. Well, when that came out in the US,
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241. there was a little difficulty.
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242. Armour of God wasn't out yet
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243. so they decided to release
the sequel here first,
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244. and change the title to
just Operation Condor.
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245. Well, after that,
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246. Armour of God actually did
make an American release
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247. and it was called Operation
Condor 2: Armour of God,
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248. a complete reversal.
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249. Now let's talk about the Zombie series.
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250. If you live in America
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251. and you're trying to follow these movies,
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252. you'll find Zombie one through 6,
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253. but there's no Zombie two.
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254. What the fuck?
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255. A movie series with a missing sequel?
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256. Well, here's the explanation.
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257. It started off with George
Romero's Dawn of the Dead.
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258. Yes, that's right, the sequel
to Night of the Living Dead.
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259. The European release of
Dawn of the Dead was recut
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260. and the title was changed to Zombie.
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261. Then there's an Italian-made
sequel called Zombi 2.
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262. Yes, that's right,
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263. a sequel to a sequel which
spawned another line of sequels.
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264. Geez.
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265. Well, when Zombi 2 came out in America,
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266. they couldn't call it Zombie 2,
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267. because there is no zombie.
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268. Calling it Dawn of the Dead
2 would have been wrong
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269. because it has nothing to do
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270. with Mr. Romero's original version.
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271. So, they just called it Zombie instead.
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272. Yes, Zombie 2 is now Zombie.
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273. Not to be confused with
the Italian version
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274. of Dawn of the Dead which
is also called Zombie.
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275. So, when Zombi 3 came out in America,
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276. they figured, okay, fuck it,
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277. it's only gonna keep
getting more confusing,
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278. so just fucking call
it Zombie 3 like it is.
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279. But there's no Zombie 2,
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280. fuck it, don't change the titles anymore.
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281. Now, the UK, caught in between this mess,
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282. just decided to leave the
title of Dawn of the Dead alone
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283. and change Zombie 2 to
Zombie Flesh Eaters.
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284. Then Zombi 3 would be
Zombie Flesh Eaters 2
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285. and so on and so on.
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286. Speaking of movie series
with missing titles,
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287. whatever happened to The Naked Gun movies?
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288. First off, why is the sequel
called Naked Gun 21/2?
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289. What's half about it?
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290. After all, I assumed they incorporated
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291. half the script from
the third movie into it,
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292. and therefore it includes
half the next movie.
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293. I guess that makes sense,
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294. except for the fact that I never saw
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295. Naked Gun 3, or 4,
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296. or 5,
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297. or any of them up till Naked Gun 331/3.
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298. I mean, how the fuck did
I miss that many sequels?
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299. I couldn't even find them anywhere.
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300. They aren't even listed in the
Leslie Nielsen's filmography,
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301. so I guess he wasn't in those.
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302. Somebody help me, I
can't find them anywhere.
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303. Where's the other half of Naked Gun 3?
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304. And all the others up to 32?
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305. I can't fucking find them, where are they?
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306. I think it's pretty impressive
if they're all numbered
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307. and that's gotta be a record for
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308. amount of sequels to a comedy, but damn,
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309. that one just blows my mind.
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310. Well, I gotta calm down now.
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311. So, that's enough of my gripes.
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312. Thanks for listening to my rants,
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313. and good fucking night.
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