The Angry Video Game Nerd 1x14

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The Nerd finds out how good (or bad) Nintendo’s Power Glove is, by using it to play a variety of games on the NES.

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1. - I love the Power Glove.

2. It's so bad.

3. And I mean bad.

4. This thing is bad.

5. Why need a glove to play a game?

6. What's wrong with this?

7. Huh?

8. I don't know.

9. I thought this was okay,

10. playing it, you know, with the controller?

11. So if anything, the Power Glove,

12. it's an interesting experiment in gaming technology.

13. But too bad they were just fuckin' jerking off.

14. Like, why is it suck so bad?

15. Well, I have one complaint,

16. one fucking complaint about this glove.

17. It doesn't work.

18. Now, what's the most important aspect about any game?

19. Well, being able to fucking play it!

20. Now, before you can even begin

21. to get this fucking piece of shit to work,

22. you have to put these three sensors

23. on your TV like this.

24. Fuck!

25. Piece of shit, fuck!

26. Now if you own the Power Glove,

27. you're gonna need to know what the program codes are.

28. Yes, that's right, you have to put in

29. a different code for each game that you play.

30. So, go on the internet,

31. get a whole bunch of fucking codes

32. for all the fucking games

33. and whenever you're playing a fucking game

34. you gotta punch in the code.

35. Fuck!

36. Alright, Super Gloveball.

37. Well, the game is basically

38. you're just this glove

39. and you're going around grabbing balls.

40. Grab the flying fish,

41. grab them, grab them.

42. I don't get it.

43. That's it, I can't fucking take it anymore.

44. I'm sorry.

45. I'm gonna show you different games on the Power Glove.

46. To shoot I just squeeze my fingers.

47. Damn!

48. Fuck!

49. Go up! Go up! Go up!

50. I can't get the fuck up there.

51. God damn it.

52. It's easier to do a handstand while taking a shit.

53. How do I attack?

54. Oh, somehow I kicked, but I don't really know how I did it.

55. I'm gettin' my ass kicked.

56. Damn, come on, get him, get him, punch him.

57. Aw, fuck.

58. I can't pass the first screen in Double Dragon.

59. Damn it!

60. Might as well just use the fucking controller.

61. What's the point of this?

62. Castlevania.

63. Twitching my finger like this I swing the whip.

64. Come on, oh yeah, there we go.

65. How do I jump?

66. How the fuck do I jump?

67. Is that it? Squeezing?

68. Does that jump?

69. Can I get up the stairs?

70. Can I get up the fuckin' stairs?

71. Fuck.

72. How do I get up the fuckin' stairs?

73. Oh, just jump.

74. Can I do a nice jump over this?

75. Come on, do a jump.

76. Yeah, there we go, we jumped.

77. It's awesome, it's really exciting

78. when you actually get something to work.

79. Come on, go down.

80. There we go.

81. No, don't go that way, go this way.

82. You asshole, come on.

83. Come on, go down, don't go up the steps,

84. go down the steps!

85. Don't go up the steps, go down!

86. Don't go up the fucking steps!

87. Go down you...

88. Aw, how the fuck am I going up there again?

89. Come on, aw Jesus.

90. Jumping all over the place.

91. I didn't even know you could jump backwards.

92. Come on, aw you fucking fish man.

93. Oh good luck, I'm gonna fall in the water and die.

94. Fuck!

95. Wow, this sucks.

96. This sucks hard.

97. Now jump jump jump jump!

98. Oh, wow, that helped, okay, keep going.

99. Aww fuck.

100. Castlevania two, Simon's quest.

101. There's only one way to do this game with the Power Glove.

102. so, while it's not very responsive,

103. I can go up and I can go down, and left and right.

104. But everything else, like the punching and kicking,

105. just seems to come at random.

106. trying to pop the bubbles, good luck.

107. Sucks monkey fuck.

108. Sucks monkey fuck.

109. Down, go down, come on, down, down.

110. Go the fuck down!

111. Down!

112. Go down!

113. Left, go back, come on, go back.

114. Go left, go left!

115. I can't shoot anybody over there, go back!

116. Go up!

117. Up, oh Jesus, can you...

118. Oh, fuck, go!

119. Damn it!

120. Just fuck-a-doodle shit!

121. This battle will make your blood boil.

122. Good luck!

123. Good luck is right, I'm using the fuckin' Power Glove.

124. I can't even line myself up

125. to shoot this fucking tank up here.

126. Go up, shoot the tank, damn it!

127. Shoot the tank, shoot the tank!

128. I think I got it.

129. I can't get around the rock.

130. God damn it, move!

131. Up, left, left, come on, left.

132. Left, you can go left, come on, up!

133. Left, up!

134. I can't even get around the trees.

135. Oh yeah, there we go, there we go.

136. Oh yeah, we're moving along, we're moving along.

137. Okay, oh, God.

138. No, shit!

139. One of the big problems is that

140. I can't either stop jumping or stop ducking.

141. Alright, well, do I wanna really bother to talk to him.

142. Nah, not really.

143. No, I don't, come on, I really.

144. I'm serious, I don't want to talk to you.

145. Go, leave the, leave the fucking cabin

146. or house or whatever the fuck it is.

147. Come on, keep walking.

148. Oh there we go.

149. I didn't really mean to go in there.

150. Alright, leave.

151. Alright, leave the house, go left, go left.

152. Come on, go left.

153. Aw, you...

154. I'm in the house again, I don't wanna, fuck!

155. Get the fuck out of the house!

156. Get out, go away!

157. Alright, left!

158. Oh there we...

159. Oh, Jesus Christ, why am I shooting the sword?

160. Alright!

161. There we go!

162. We got this, man!

163. We got this by the ass!

164. You know what's really cool about Rad Racer?

165. That if you push select

166. the game goes 3D!

167. I'm playing Rad Racer with the Power Glove and 3D glasses.

168. You can't get any more rad than that!

169. Wow, playing Top Gun with the Power Glove.

170. It's like puking on a pile of shit.

171. Oh my God, what the fuck am I doing.

172. I'm trying to land the plane

173. in Top Gun with the Power Glove?

174. I can't even land it with the regular controller.

175. Punch Out!

176. Alright, well I don't know how to fuckin' dodge,

177. that's really a problem.

178. Punching seems to work somewhat.

179. Fuck!

180. Aw, god damn it, aw shit.

181. I lost to Glass Joe.

182. I lost to Glass Joe.

183. Try doing the Contra Code with this fuckin' thing.

184. I shoot by twitching my finger.

185. Jump by clenching my fist.

186. Yeah, there we go!

187. There we go!

188. Alright, come on now!

189. Oh God, get him, get him!

190. Oh, fuck!

191. You piece of shit!

192. If you want to bring a totally new

193. element of challenge to your Nintendo games,

194. try the Power Glove 'cause it sure makes

195. everything a lot harder.

196. It's just a barely functional contraption

197. designed to rip off little kids.

198. It's the biggest scam since the Atari 5200 controller.

199. The only kids who owned this

200. were usually the richer ones who thought they were cool.

201. Well, they're not cool.

202. I'm not cool either.

203. Look at me, you think I'm cool?

204. I got a fuckin' glove on my hand.

205. I'm trying to play a fuckin' game with it.

206. I look like an idiot with a fist full of shit.

207. Well, hey,

208. let's end with the classic Super Mario Brothers.

209. Alright Mario, you don't have to keep jumping.

210. At least you made it over the Goomba,

211. you were lucky, you fuck.

212. Alright, what, come on.

213. I can't get up on the pipe?

214. I'm not even doing anything.

215. I'm touching the fucking floor right now,

216. I am touching the floor,

217. and I can't get him to stop jumping.

218. Get over the pipe you fuckin' asshole.

219. Oh, I can't get over the pipe.

220. Oh this is, oh yeah!

221. Oh fuck.

222. Go guy, come on, oh yeah!

223. Oh no, go, come on, oh shit!

224. Oh you fuck!

225. Now you're playing with power.

226. Now you're playing with fucking shit!

227. You're better off fucking shit

228. than fucking with this fucked up shit.

229. Fuck this shit!

230. You don't know shit about how fucking shitty

231. this fucking shit is.

232. It's so bad it sucks.

233. It's so fucking suck it fucks!

234. And I

235. can't take it anymore.