1. - I love the Power Glove.
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2. It's so bad.
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3. And I mean bad.
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4. This thing is bad.
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5. Why need a glove to play a game?
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6. What's wrong with this?
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7. Huh?
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8. I don't know.
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9. I thought this was okay,
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10. playing it, you know, with the controller?
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11. So if anything, the Power Glove,
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12. it's an interesting experiment
in gaming technology.
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13. But too bad they were
just fuckin' jerking off.
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14. Like, why is it suck so bad?
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15. Well, I have one complaint,
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16. one fucking complaint about this glove.
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17. It doesn't work.
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18. Now, what's the most important
aspect about any game?
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19. Well, being able to fucking play it!
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20. Now, before you can even begin
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21. to get this fucking piece of shit to work,
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22. you have to put these three sensors
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23. on your TV like this.
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24. Fuck!
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25. Piece of shit, fuck!
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26. Now if you own the Power Glove,
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27. you're gonna need to know
what the program codes are.
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28. Yes, that's right, you have to put in
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29. a different code for
each game that you play.
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30. So, go on the internet,
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31. get a whole bunch of fucking codes
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32. for all the fucking games
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33. and whenever you're playing a fucking game
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34. you gotta punch in the code.
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35. Fuck!
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36. Alright, Super Gloveball.
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37. Well, the game is basically
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38. you're just this glove
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39. and you're going around grabbing balls.
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40. Grab the flying fish,
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41. grab them, grab them.
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42. I don't get it.
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43. That's it, I can't
fucking take it anymore.
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44. I'm sorry.
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45. I'm gonna show you different
games on the Power Glove.
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46. To shoot I just squeeze my fingers.
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47. Damn!
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48. Fuck!
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49. Go up! Go up! Go up!
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50. I can't get the fuck up there.
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51. God damn it.
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52. It's easier to do a handstand
while taking a shit.
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53. How do I attack?
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54. Oh, somehow I kicked, but I
don't really know how I did it.
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55. I'm gettin' my ass kicked.
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56. Damn, come on, get him,
get him, punch him.
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57. Aw, fuck.
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58. I can't pass the first
screen in Double Dragon.
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59. Damn it!
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60. Might as well just use
the fucking controller.
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61. What's the point of this?
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62. Castlevania.
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63. Twitching my finger like
this I swing the whip.
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64. Come on, oh yeah, there we go.
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65. How do I jump?
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66. How the fuck do I jump?
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67. Is that it? Squeezing?
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68. Does that jump?
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69. Can I get up the stairs?
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70. Can I get up the fuckin' stairs?
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71. Fuck.
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72. How do I get up the fuckin' stairs?
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73. Oh, just jump.
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74. Can I do a nice jump over this?
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75. Come on, do a jump.
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76. Yeah, there we go, we jumped.
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77. It's awesome, it's really exciting
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78. when you actually get something to work.
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79. Come on, go down.
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80. There we go.
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81. No, don't go that way, go this way.
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82. You asshole, come on.
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83. Come on, go down, don't go up the steps,
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84. go down the steps!
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85. Don't go up the steps, go down!
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86. Don't go up the fucking steps!
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87. Go down you...
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88. Aw, how the fuck am I
going up there again?
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89. Come on, aw Jesus.
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90. Jumping all over the place.
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91. I didn't even know you
could jump backwards.
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92. Come on, aw you fucking fish man.
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93. Oh good luck, I'm gonna
fall in the water and die.
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94. Fuck!
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95. Wow, this sucks.
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96. This sucks hard.
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97. Now jump jump jump jump!
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98. Oh, wow, that helped, okay, keep going.
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99. Aww fuck.
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100. Castlevania two, Simon's quest.
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101. There's only one way to do
this game with the Power Glove.
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102. so, while it's not very responsive,
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103. I can go up and I can go
down, and left and right.
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104. But everything else, like
the punching and kicking,
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105. just seems to come at random.
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106. trying to pop the bubbles, good luck.
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107. Sucks monkey fuck.
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108. Sucks monkey fuck.
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109. Down, go down, come on, down, down.
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110. Go the fuck down!
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111. Down!
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112. Go down!
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113. Left, go back, come on, go back.
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114. Go left, go left!
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115. I can't shoot anybody over there, go back!
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116. Go up!
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117. Up, oh Jesus, can you...
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118. Oh, fuck, go!
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119. Damn it!
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120. Just fuck-a-doodle shit!
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121. This battle will make your blood boil.
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122. Good luck!
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123. Good luck is right, I'm using
the fuckin' Power Glove.
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124. I can't even line myself up
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125. to shoot this fucking tank up here.
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126. Go up, shoot the tank, damn it!
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127. Shoot the tank, shoot the tank!
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128. I think I got it.
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129. I can't get around the rock.
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130. God damn it, move!
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131. Up, left, left, come on, left.
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132. Left, you can go left, come on, up!
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133. Left, up!
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134. I can't even get around the trees.
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135. Oh yeah, there we go, there we go.
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136. Oh yeah, we're moving
along, we're moving along.
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137. Okay, oh, God.
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138. No, shit!
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139. One of the big problems is that
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140. I can't either stop
jumping or stop ducking.
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141. Alright, well, do I wanna
really bother to talk to him.
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142. Nah, not really.
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143. No, I don't, come on, I really.
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144. I'm serious, I don't want to talk to you.
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145. Go, leave the, leave the fucking cabin
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146. or house or whatever the fuck it is.
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147. Come on, keep walking.
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148. Oh there we go.
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149. I didn't really mean to go in there.
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150. Alright, leave.
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151. Alright, leave the
house, go left, go left.
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152. Come on, go left.
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153. Aw, you...
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154. I'm in the house again,
I don't wanna, fuck!
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155. Get the fuck out of the house!
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156. Get out, go away!
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157. Alright, left!
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158. Oh there we...
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159. Oh, Jesus Christ, why
am I shooting the sword?
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160. Alright!
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161. There we go!
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162. We got this, man!
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163. We got this by the ass!
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164. You know what's really
cool about Rad Racer?
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165. That if you push select
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166. the game goes 3D!
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167. I'm playing Rad Racer with the
Power Glove and 3D glasses.
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168. You can't get any more rad than that!
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169. Wow, playing Top Gun with the Power Glove.
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170. It's like puking on a pile of shit.
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171. Oh my God, what the fuck am I doing.
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172. I'm trying to land the plane
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173. in Top Gun with the Power Glove?
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174. I can't even land it with
the regular controller.
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175. Punch Out!
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176. Alright, well I don't
know how to fuckin' dodge,
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177. that's really a problem.
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178. Punching seems to work somewhat.
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179. Fuck!
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180. Aw, god damn it, aw shit.
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181. I lost to Glass Joe.
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182. I lost to Glass Joe.
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183. Try doing the Contra Code
with this fuckin' thing.
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184. I shoot by twitching my finger.
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185. Jump by clenching my fist.
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186. Yeah, there we go!
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187. There we go!
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188. Alright, come on now!
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189. Oh God, get him, get him!
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190. Oh, fuck!
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191. You piece of shit!
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192. If you want to bring a totally new
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193. element of challenge
to your Nintendo games,
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194. try the Power Glove 'cause it sure makes
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195. everything a lot harder.
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196. It's just a barely functional contraption
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197. designed to rip off little kids.
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198. It's the biggest scam since
the Atari 5200 controller.
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199. The only kids who owned this
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200. were usually the richer ones
who thought they were cool.
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201. Well, they're not cool.
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202. I'm not cool either.
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203. Look at me, you think I'm cool?
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204. I got a fuckin' glove on my hand.
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205. I'm trying to play a fuckin' game with it.
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206. I look like an idiot
with a fist full of shit.
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207. Well, hey,
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208. let's end with the classic
Super Mario Brothers.
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209. Alright Mario, you don't
have to keep jumping.
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210. At least you made it over the Goomba,
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211. you were lucky, you fuck.
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212. Alright, what, come on.
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213. I can't get up on the pipe?
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214. I'm not even doing anything.
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215. I'm touching the fucking floor right now,
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216. I am touching the floor,
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217. and I can't get him to stop jumping.
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218. Get over the pipe you fuckin' asshole.
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219. Oh, I can't get over the pipe.
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220. Oh this is, oh yeah!
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221. Oh fuck.
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222. Go guy, come on, oh yeah!
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223. Oh no, go, come on, oh shit!
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224. Oh you fuck!
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225. Now you're playing with power.
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226. Now you're playing with fucking shit!
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227. You're better off fucking shit
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228. than fucking with this fucked up shit.
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229. Fuck this shit!
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230. You don't know shit
about how fucking shitty
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231. this fucking shit is.
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232. It's so bad it sucks.
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233. It's so fucking suck it fucks!
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234. And I
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235. can't take it anymore.
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