1. Watch out!Copy !req
2. Fire, fire, fire!Copy !req
3. I told you to watch out.Copy !req
4. Fire!Copy !req
5. Now you're head's all toasty.Copy !req
6. What's up?Copy !req
7. How you doing?Copy !req
8. I'm doing good.Copy !req
9. What are
you doing today?Copy !req
10. About to go eat.Copy !req
11. Wait.Copy !req
12. Go ahead.Copy !req
13. About to go eat.Copy !req
14. Wait.Copy !req
15. Okay, go ahead.Copy !req
16. About to go eat.Copy !req
17. Wait.Copy !req
18. Okay, go ahead.Copy !req
19. Go eat.Copy !req
20. Wait.Copy !req
21. Go.Copy !req
22. I'm about to go eat.Copy !req
23. Wait.Copy !req
24. Wait.Copy !req
25. Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
26. Wait, not yet, not yet, not yet.Copy !req
27. Not yet, not yet, not yet.Copy !req
28. Na-na-na-na-na-na.Copy !req
29. Go!Copy !req
30. I'm gonna go eat!Copy !req
31. And then what?Copy !req
32. I don't know.Copy !req
33. Wait.Copy !req
34. Wait.Copy !req
35. Okay, go.Copy !req
36. Wait one second.Copy !req
37. Okay, go.Copy !req
38. Wait.Copy !req
39. Go.Copy !req
40. Ya, ya, ya.Copy !req
41. Wait.Copy !req
42. Ya.Copy !req
43. Fr ulein.Copy !req
44. Are you a fr ulein?Copy !req
45. Wait.Copy !req
46. Shut up!Copy !req
47. TV announcer Andy: We set up
a house where a fat little kidCopy !req
48. is supposed to be home alone,
waiting for some pizzas.Copy !req
49. Yeah, one medium pizza
with pepperoni.Copy !req
50. TV announcer Andy: Our fat,
little kid actor asked him ifCopy !req
51. he'd deliver the pie even though
he was a fat, little kid, and heCopy !req
52. said, "No problem."Copy !req
53. Hi.Copy !req
54. I'm sorry about that.Copy !req
55. Hi, come in.Copy !req
56. How are you?Copy !req
57. TV announcer Andy: I wanted
to make sure he knew exactlyCopy !req
58. what he was about to do.Copy !req
59. I'm a
little, chubby kid.Copy !req
60. Is that greasy food?Copy !req
61. That's it.Copy !req
62. Yeah, it's
greasy food, right?Copy !req
63. Yeah.Copy !req
64. Isn't that greasy food?Copy !req
65. Absolutely.Copy !req
66. Okay, cool.Copy !req
67. One second.Copy !req
68. Want some lemonade?Copy !req
69. No, I need to go.Copy !req
70. I got a delivery.Copy !req
71. Okay.Copy !req
72. Thank you, bro.Copy !req
73. TV announcer Andy: It was
chilling how casual he was.Copy !req
74. It seemed like he'd done this at
least a thousand times before.Copy !req
75. You wanna tell me
what you're doing here?Copy !req
76. Hmm?Copy !req
77. You wanna tell me what
you're doing here?Copy !req
78. Delivery.Copy !req
79. You're serving greasy
food to a fat kid?Copy !req
80. What was your plan when
you came here tonight?Copy !req
81. Sir, I need to go.Copy !req
82. What was your plan
when you came here tonight?Copy !req
83. Sir, I'm delivering here.Copy !req
84. You came
to deliver to a minor?Copy !req
85. I don't know that.Copy !req
86. Well, you knew that in
the chat room.Copy !req
87. TV announcer Andy: He was
playing dumb now, but in theCopy !req
88. chat room he was all too aware.Copy !req
89. 13malewantpizza.Copy !req
90. What did you expect
to happen here?Copy !req
91. That you pay me, sir.Copy !req
92. You expected to pay me.Copy !req
93. Did you expect a 13 year-old
male to eat pizza?Copy !req
94. TV announcer Andy:
With those three words,Copy !req
95. this monster sealed his fate.Copy !req
96. Of course.Copy !req
97. Oh, so you admit it.Copy !req
98. Okay.Copy !req
99. Okay, well—
Can I see—Copy !req
100. We have cameras.Copy !req
101. Come on out with the cameras.Copy !req
102. You make a habit of delivering
pizza to young boys?Copy !req
103. Sir, what's happening?Copy !req
104. Okay.Copy !req
105. Here.Copy !req
106. TV announcer Andy: Now Mr.
Smiles gets a sudden case ofCopy !req
107. camera shyness.Copy !req
108. Sir, you cannot do that.Copy !req
109. Police,
take him away!Copy !req
110. TV announcer Andy: And then
the old man we dressed up like aCopy !req
111. cop hauled this creep off the
streets once and for all.Copy !req
112. Get him!Copy !req
113. Nobody run away from me!Copy !req
114. I'll get you!Copy !req
115. I'll get you!Copy !req
116. You're in a lot of
trouble.Copy !req
117. Rock, paper,
scissors, shoot.Copy !req
118. Scissors cut paper.Copy !req
119. Aha!Copy !req
120. Where's your hand at, Mo!Copy !req
121. And now...Copy !req
122. I call all you up here to let
you know there was a murderCopy !req
123. in Milonakis Cove.Copy !req
124. Oh, my God!Copy !req
125. Who got killed?Copy !req
126. The other half of
my sandwich.Copy !req
127. Who was the
murderer then?Copy !req
128. I mean, it couldn't be me,
because I was busy in theCopy !req
129. emergency room not murdering
someone.Copy !req
130. I mean, they died and it was
mostly my fault, but I gave itCopy !req
131. the best that I could!Copy !req
132. Well, it wasn't me!Copy !req
133. I was home swimming in my
Jacuzzi full of cash.Copy !req
134. Look at those paper cuts.Copy !req
135. It wasn't me either.Copy !req
136. I was spending all morning
trying to seduce this brick.Copy !req
137. It couldn't have been me.Copy !req
138. I was riding my motorcycle on
Skull Mountain.Copy !req
139. Well, that only
leaves one person then.Copy !req
140. You're right.Copy !req
141. It was me!Copy !req
142. And you're never gonna catch me.Copy !req
143. The door's locked.Copy !req
144. The door's locked.Copy !req
145. How do I open the door?Copy !req
146. Oh, just turn the
latch, dude.Copy !req
147. Yeah.Copy !req
148. Ah!Copy !req
149. Tune in next time for another
episode of...Copy !req
150. I have to get to the
post office to mail this.Copy !req
151. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
152. Where is it?Copy !req
153. Oh, the post office is
way down on Union Street.Copy !req
154. Whoa!Copy !req
155. I'm better!Copy !req
156. You healed me!Copy !req
157. You healed me, sucka!Copy !req
158. I can eat mashed potatoes all
night now and I can talk again.Copy !req
159. And I can walk again.Copy !req
160. And I can ride the unicycle with
my invisible nostrils.Copy !req
161. No kidding.Copy !req
162. Yeah!Copy !req
163. Who could this be?Copy !req
164. Ooh, my visitor has the feet of
an aristocrat.Copy !req
165. And he's got the knees of
a scoundrel.Copy !req
166. Yo, and he wearing a belt that
only a married man would don.Copy !req
167. Know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
168. Know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
169. And he's got the furrowed brow
of a master inquisitor.Copy !req
170. I must know who this strange
visitor is.Copy !req
171. Oh, Herbie!Copy !req
172. I knew it was you.Copy !req
173. You sneaky biiiitch!Copy !req
174. And now, back to...Copy !req
175. I've got a
confession to make.Copy !req
176. Wait.Copy !req
177. Let me take a sip of my water
before you tell me.Copy !req
178. I'm pregnant.Copy !req
179. Can you gimme that
news again?Copy !req
180. I'm pregnant.Copy !req
181. I regret to inform you
this, Mr. Billionaire.Copy !req
182. You have a rare disease
called spit-take-itis.Copy !req
183. Is there a cure for this
disease?Copy !req
184. I'm afraid not.Copy !req
185. He will be dead within seconds.Copy !req
186. He sure is dead.Copy !req
187. No one said this job was easy.Copy !req
188. Don't miss the next
episode when you'll find outCopy !req
189. what happens on...Copy !req
190. I bet you can't punch me in
the face and make me cry.Copy !req
191. I have globe
and branch disease.Copy !req
192. I need someone to help me
put ChapStick on.Copy !req
193. What happened?Copy !req
194. Can you put ChapStick
on me?Copy !req
195. Can you take it out for me?Copy !req
196. Okay.Copy !req
197. No, no, no.Copy !req
198. No money.Copy !req
199. ChapStick.Copy !req
200. ChapStick, yeah.Copy !req
201. Mum.Copy !req
202. Me.Copy !req
203. Thank you, bah-bah.Copy !req
204. Mm.Copy !req
205. Momma.Copy !req
206. Can I hug you?Copy !req
207. Sure.Copy !req
208. Thank you.Copy !req
209. Have a good one.Copy !req
210. Sorry, I got some of
the Pacific Ocean on your back.Copy !req
211. I'm sorry.Copy !req
212. I never got told that I was
pretty.Copy !req
213. So when you're putting it on,
can you call me a pretty baby?Copy !req
214. Call you pretty baby?Copy !req
215. Yeah.Copy !req
216. Okay, pretty ba—Copy !req
217. What am I?Copy !req
218. Pretty ba—Copy !req
219. What am I?Copy !req
220. What are you?Copy !req
221. Okay, pretty baby.Copy !req
222. Thank you.Copy !req
223. Oh, I see.Copy !req
224. That'll do the job, huh?Copy !req
225. Thank you.Copy !req
226. All right.Copy !req
227. Can I move in with you?Copy !req
228. What you want for
lunch, little Cindy?Copy !req
229. Pizza botta daddy.Copy !req
230. Oh, no.Copy !req
231. She's crying.Copy !req
232. I'm sorry, Cindy.Copy !req
233. Cindy, we'll make it up to you.Copy !req
234. Just name it.Copy !req
235. What do you want?Copy !req
236. Pizza botta daddy.Copy !req
237. And now, the
final episode of...Copy !req
238. Well, Hungry
Sally, we've got theCopy !req
239. results of your test in.Copy !req
240. Give it to me straight, Doc.Copy !req
241. Am I gonna live?Copy !req
242. Um, uh, well,
the, um, the results,Copy !req
243. um, well, they say, um—Copy !req
244. So what is it?Copy !req
245. Well, I— I can't
tell you the results becauseCopy !req
246. I can't read!Copy !req
247. Don't worry, Doc.Copy !req
248. Everyone got secrets.Copy !req
249. Really?Copy !req
250. What's your secret?Copy !req
251. I'm always hungry 'cause of
my conjoint twin.Copy !req
252. Oh, my God!Copy !req
253. Well, while we're at it, I
actually have another secret.Copy !req
254. I... have a mustache!Copy !req
255. I wouldn't know...Copy !req
256. because I'm blind.Copy !req
257. Well, I have a potato
for a heart.Copy !req
258. Well, I sleep in a coffin.Copy !req
259. Well, I'm just a
figment of your imagination.Copy !req
260. You can't be...Copy !req
261. because I don't exist.Copy !req
262. That was it.Copy !req
263. Aah!Copy !req
264. How come everybody's naked?Copy !req
265. I don't like it.Copy !req
266. I'm scared.Copy !req
267. Accurate!Copy !req
268. Come inside, please.Copy !req
269. Oh, man.Copy !req
270. Hi, how you doing?Copy !req
271. All right.Copy !req
272. It said to have it here by
12:15.Copy !req
273. Okay.Copy !req
274. I can't—Hold on.Copy !req
275. I'll sign it in a second.Copy !req
276. Hey, guys!Copy !req
277. Hey, guys, our beating box is
here.Copy !req
278. Oh, good.Copy !req
279. Yeah.Copy !req
280. Great.Copy !req
281. Come on, grab
something.Copy !req
282. Our beating box is here.Copy !req
283. Our beating box is here.Copy !req
284. You deserve it.Copy !req
285. You deserve it.Copy !req
286. You deserve to beat this.Copy !req
287. It says "fragile."Copy !req
288. It's fragile.Copy !req
289. I don't care if I got to prison.Copy !req
290. Here, beat our beating box.Copy !req
291. We been waiting all week for
this.Copy !req
292. It's finally here!Copy !req
293. Hit it!Copy !req
294. You're never gonna walk again,
box!Copy !req
295. All right, I don't want this.Copy !req
296. You can take it back.Copy !req
297. It's damaged goods.Copy !req
298. It's damaged goods.Copy !req
299. Here you go.Copy !req
300. Get the manager to—Copy !req
301. Here.Copy !req
302. Get us a new one, please.Copy !req
303. Yeah.Copy !req
304. All right, now you
gotta leave.Copy !req
305. Get out, get out.Copy !req
306. Get out!Copy !req
307. Get out, get out!Copy !req
308. Get out!Copy !req
309. Take him away!Copy !req
310. Oh, brother.Copy !req
311. You're a damn show-off.Copy !req
312. What with your fancy teeth and
enjoying them and whatnot.Copy !req
313. What?Copy !req
314. You have the one thing
in the world that I wantCopy !req
315. more than anything!Copy !req
316. Teeth!Copy !req
317. Giant, human-sized teeth.Copy !req
318. Oh, stop crying.Copy !req
319. Anyone can have giant
human-sized teeth.Copy !req
320. They're called dentures.Copy !req
321. Den-tur-es?Copy !req
322. Not even close, stupid
frog.Copy !req
323. Oh, I'll buy you some dentures.Copy !req
324. Anything to help with your
self-esteem.Copy !req
325. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
326. I'm going to be so crazy
handsome.Copy !req
327. Here ya go, stud
muffin.Copy !req
328. There we go.Copy !req
329. Looking sharp, buddy.Copy !req
330. Really?Copy !req
331. What if everybody laughs at me?Copy !req
332. Are you crazy?Copy !req
333. No one's gonna laugh at you.Copy !req
334. Are you sure?Copy !req
335. Trust me.Copy !req
336. No one is gonna laugh at you.Copy !req
337. Now let's go show you off.Copy !req
338. Okay.Copy !req
339. Enjoy your new pearly
whites, little buddy.Copy !req
340. Hey, guys.Copy !req
341. Check out my new teeth.Copy !req
342. Pretty great, huh?Copy !req
343. You look ridiculous.Copy !req
344. They're all
gonna laugh at you!Copy !req
345. They're all gonna laugh at you!Copy !req
346. They're all gonna laugh at you!Copy !req
347. Aah!Copy !req
348. Oh, no, my pig's blood!Copy !req
349. I was saving that for
Thanksgiving!Copy !req
350. Just for that, I'm gonna let
this crazy frog kill all of youCopy !req
351. with his telepathic powers.Copy !req
352. Carry on!Copy !req
353. Hey, let's run across
the street in slow motion toCopy !req
354. beautiful music.Copy !req
355. Well, let's do that!Copy !req
356. Yeah, let's go.Copy !req
357. to beautiful music.Copy !req
358. Sounds really good.Copy !req
359. Let's do it.Copy !req
360. Hey, what do you got
for lunch, Ralphie?Copy !req
361. Peanut butter and jelly.Copy !req
362. you, Andy!Copy !req
363. Ugh, yuck!Copy !req
364. What's that sock doing on the
drawer?Copy !req
365. Uhh!Copy !req
366. Close the drawer!Copy !req
367. Close the drawer!Copy !req
368. What did I just see?Copy !req
369. I got needs, you know!Copy !req
370. Ugh!Copy !req
371. Oh, hey, shoe duck.Copy !req
372. Is someone putting their feet in
your shoe duck head?Copy !req
373. This is stupid.Copy !req
374. I'm not in the mood to be weird
today.Copy !req
375. Maybe I'll go read the
newspaper and seeCopy !req
376. what's going on in the world.Copy !req
377. Who are you?Copy !req
378. A friend.Copy !req
379. Who in the dang heck
are ya?Copy !req
380. I am Weird Beard,
the weirdly-bearded,Copy !req
381. beard-covered weirdsman!Copy !req
382. But where's your
beard, weirdly-covered,Copy !req
383. beards-face boy thing?Copy !req
384. I shaved it.Copy !req
385. Weird.Copy !req
386. Thank you.Copy !req
387. I was sensing that you
were losing your abilityCopy !req
388. to become weird.Copy !req
389. So I decided to come help you.Copy !req
390. Well, that's good and
all dandy and stuff, but isn'tCopy !req
391. there more important things to
do like, you know, like helpCopy !req
392. feeding ugly people and stuff?Copy !req
393. Dear, sweet, stupid Andy.Copy !req
394. Let me show you all the
wonderful things that weirdnessCopy !req
395. has done for mankind.Copy !req
396. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
397. Okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
398. For example, Benjamin
Franklin used to wrap salamiCopy !req
399. on his fingers.Copy !req
400. That's why he never learned
to play the piano.Copy !req
401. And thus, he was able to
discover electricity.Copy !req
402. Fascinating?Copy !req
403. Mm, salami!Copy !req
404. Like salami, huh?Copy !req
405. I want it in here.Copy !req
406. A guy named Troy once put a
hat on a turkey and that's howCopy !req
407. the phrase, "not another turkey
hat" came about.Copy !req
408. That's quite
fascinating and boring too.Copy !req
409. But it doesn't seem to help
people as much as it "doesn'tCopy !req
410. help 'peo-pal.'"Copy !req
411. But what's more important
is that I find it funnyCopy !req
412. and pathetic and weird.Copy !req
413. And isn't that all that really
matters?Copy !req
414. You're right.Copy !req
415. I've been so stupid.Copy !req
416. Come on!Copy !req
417. Let's get you in shape.Copy !req
418. Okay!Copy !req
419. Mm, Twizzlers!Copy !req
420. Well, it looks like I'm
back in the weird game.Copy !req
421. Boink, plop, plop, plop.Copy !req
422. Plop.Copy !req
423. Thanks, Mr. Weird Beard, the
beard-beard.Copy !req
424. Ba-ba-ba-ba-beard.Copy !req
425. Ba-ba-ba-ba-beard-beard.Copy !req
426. I'm not done.Copy !req
427. Beeeeard!Copy !req
428. I don't know what I would've
done without you, man.Copy !req
429. Without me, you'd be
original.Copy !req
430. Hey, what
does that mean?Copy !req
431. Stop judging me, machine!Copy !req
432. You wear that to your
wedding, are you kidding me?Copy !req
433. No!Copy !req
434. All my hard work!Copy !req
435. La, la, la, la, la.Copy !req
436. I like to walk
circles around you.Copy !req
437. Okay, ooh.Copy !req
438. Bow wow, you are hereby
sentenced to hang outCopy !req
439. with Andy Milonakis.Copy !req
440. Come on, man,
anything but this dude.Copy !req