The Andy Milonakis Show 3x3

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Ah.

2. Yes.

3. Really?

4. Try.

5. Where do you live?

6. Where you from?

7. What are you doing later?

8. What's your favorite color?

9. What do you like to do?

10. Huh, huh, huh, huh?

11. I live in Los Angeles.

12. I win.

13. What's your favorite color?

14. Blue?

15. Oh, awesome.

16. Where you from?

17. New York?

18. Oh, awesome.

19. What do you like to do?

20. I'm just doing my taxes.

21. Where you going today?

22. I'm going to the mall.

23. Really?

24. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

25. I win.

26. I win.

27. I win.

28. I win.

29. I'm the fastest interviewer in the world.

30. Are you guys ready?

31. Yes.

32. What's your favorite color?

33. What's your favorite color?

34. Where you from?

35. Where you from?

36. What do you like to eat?

37. What do you like to eat?

38. What are you doing later?

39. What are you doing later?

40. Are you doing your taxes?

41. Blah, blah, blah!

42. I win.

43. me.

44. Blaow!

45. I'm the fastest interviewer in the world.

46. What's your favorite color?

47. What'd you eat for breakfast?

48. Where'd you get that bag?

49. Where you going later?

50. What are you doing today?

51. Huh, huh, huh?

52. Um, therapy.

53. I win!

54. And you win.

55. Yea.

56. Yeah, I need a dog walker for tomorrow to walk my

57. little baby dog.

58. Hi.

59. Good morning.

60. How you doing?

61. I am dog walker.

62. Oh, come on in.

63. Thank you.

64. Okay.

65. All right.

66. So my dog is a little bit cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

67. What's her name?

68. Uh, it's, uh, It's Booby-Bobby-Bobba-Bobba.

69. Well, that's her nickname.

70. Booby-bah-bah-bah-bah.

71. Yeah.

72. Say, "Hey, little baby."

73. Okay.

74. Just try it.

75. Hi, baby.

76. Hi, baby.

77. Hi, Boba.

78. Hi, Bobo.

79. Hi, Lilly-Lolly.

80. I'm rubbing your belly.

81. I'm rubbing your belly.

82. I'm rubbing your belly.

83. I'm rubbing— She likes that.

84. She likes you.

85. She likes it.

86. Oh.

87. Okay, you ready?

88. Ready.

89. Okay.

90. She is— look, she's so pretty.

91. Ah!

92. This is the dog?

93. Yeah.

94. This is the dog.

95. This is dog, no?

96. Not really a dog.

97. Look.

98. Kiss her bones.

99. You have to walk her soon, because she has

100. to go to the potty.

101. Do you have a leash?

102. This is how you walk her.

103. Just walk her like that.

104. Okay, just walk her down the street.

105. I got work to do.

106. I'll see you in, like, an hour and 20 minutes.

107. Down the street, okay?

108. Okay, thank you.

109. Down the street.

110. Yeah.

111. All right, bye-bye.

112. All right, bye-bye.

113. Whoa!

114. What is that scary stuff?

115. It's just water, Ralphie.

116. Whoo!

117. I thought it was a demon.

118. You're scared of everything.

119. No, I'm not.

120. I'm brave!

121. If you were brave, you would've gone camping

122. with me last week.

123. Because I'm scared of a tarantula biting me to death.

124. See?

125. Scared.

126. I bet you wouldn't last a single night in the woods.

127. How much you'd give me?

128. I'll bet you the other half of your brain that I stole

129. from you a couple years ago.

130. Mm.

131. That brain looks good.

132. Mm.

133. Do we have a deal?

134. A-mah-mah-mah-mah.

135. Deal!

136. To the woods, I say!

137. All right, Ralphie.

138. Let me get a can of beans.

139. Dude, this can's empty.

140. Yeah, all those cans was mad heavy with all them beans in it.

141. Ralphie, that was our only source of food

142. and you threw it out?

143. No!

144. I still kept the beans.

145. But Ralphie, if you kept the beans in your pockets,

146. it's same amount of weight as if they were in the cans.

147. Aha ha ha!

148. Maybe if you were a little, stupid girl.

149. What the meat was that?

150. I don't know.

151. Will we find out later?

152. Yes.

153. What's up, y'all?

154. What's up?

155. Can we ask you a question?

156. Yeah.

157. Why?

158. Why, cowards?

159. Why?

160. Keep it real.

161. Thank you.

162. Touching, touching, touching.

163. I like to touch.

164. Touch, touch, touch.

165. Touch, touch, touch, touch.

166. Touchy-touch.

167. I touch you, helicopter full of commando lizards.

168. I touch you, relaxing gorilla.

169. I touch you, shoe duck.

170. I love touching stuff.

171. It's so stupid and fun!

172. Yea.

173. Before touching stuff, I didn't know what to do with my life.

174. But now I do.

175. And it's to touch.

176. And I owe it all to you, angry presumably dead lady.

177. Thank you so touch—I mean, much.

178. What else can I touch?

179. I love this!

180. Newscaster Andy: This just in!

181. Breaking news.

182. Touching has been outlawed everywhere.

183. That means you, Andy Milonakis.

184. No, that's so unfair!

185. You gots to help me!

186. What am I gonna do with my stinkin' life now?

187. I opened 14 cans today.

188. What did you do?

189. Drip, drop, drip.

190. Drip, drop, drip.

191. Yeah!

192. We're number one!

193. We're number one!

194. What are we doing?

195. Hello, young people.

196. Can I ask you a question?

197. Sure, what's the question?

198. Why?

199. Why, cowards?

200. You ruined me!

201. You ruined me!

202. I'm sorry.

203. I didn't understand the question.

204. Okay.

205. Why?

206. Why, cowards?

207. You ruined me!

208. Are we the cowards?

209. Are we the cowards?

210. I think you know the answer to that.

211. Pff.

212. Ugh, I feel sick.

213. Ralphie, do I look sick?

214. You don't look sick.

215. You really do look kinda sick, Andy?

216. I told you, man.

217. You sick, man.

218. You sick.

219. Yeah, you sick.

220. Yeah, he's sick.

221. I'm still scared of this scary stuff in

222. the woods or whatever.

223. Ralphie, I knew you weren't gonna last the night.

224. Listen, a lot of people don't know this, but these here woods

225. are haunted by the ghost of a vengeful Scotch tape dispenser.

226. Is that true?

227. I don't know.

228. You tell me!

229. Ah!

230. I wanna go.

231. I'm Sherlock Holmes, bro.

232. You are?

233. Yeah, I'm Sherlock, Holmes.

234. My name is Watson.

235. What about it?

236. No, this is Watts, son.

237. No, that's— Oh, that's Watts.

238. That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

239. You were the only one there, bro.

240. Tell me how to do it, you know.

241. How'd you do it?

242. I hid under the table...

243. and broke her ankle.

244. Oh, so you're confessing right now?

245. So I'm gonna just, like, get the cops in here and arrest you

246. right now?

247. Did you just kill her like that?

248. You just kill her like that?

249. Pardon me.

250. I'm Sherlock, homes.

251. I'm Sherlock, homes.

252. I'm Sherlock, homes.

253. Listen, man.

254. I need some answers, man.

255. You are putting mad lifes in danger, bro.

256. You're putting mad lifes in danger.

257. You're putting mad lifes in dangers.

258. You're putting like lifes in dangers.

259. Silly String, I gotta be honest with you.

260. You're just not that silly.

261. Your name is Silly String.

262. You just don't do anything that's too silly, like—

263. can't you be a little silly, like—I don't know.