The Andy Milonakis Show 2x8

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In this season finale, Andy chills with Shaun White, and the winner of the Andy Rap Contest performs his rhymes with Andy!

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1. No, monkey, no!

2. Bad monkey.

3. Stop stealing my heart!

4. You're adorable!

5. Andy, Andy, look!

6. I got cornrows.

7. Wow, I must see them,

8. Sir Ralphie.

9. Cornrows is real, son!

10. I hate myself.

11. ♪ Pancake on my face

12. Yo, son, I need you to

13. drop a beat for me.

14. Boom boom boom...

15. Yo, yo.

16. Boom boom boom boom...

17. Yo, check it out.

18. ♪ New York City

19. It's all right, little

20. buddy.

21. I'll have you cleaned up in no

22. time.

23. Oh!

24. Oh, no!

25. What have I done?

26. I have mud on my hands.

27. I'm a monster!

28. Get rid of the evidence.

29. I didn't do anything wrong.

30. I was just washing my little

31. buddy, and then—just—

32. This thing happened, and I

33. wasn't even here today.

34. I was at the park, I was at the

35. park.

36. I was at the park all day.

37. I wasn't even here today.

38. This never happened.

39. What never happened, Andy?

40. I've been working undercover for

41. a long time.

42. And I've been watching you.

43. Now you're going to the big

44. house, partner.

45. No...

46. Unless...

47. That's not gonna do it, Chief.

48. Oh...

49. Thanks, Andy.

50. I'll return 'em when I'm done.

51. Okay, Larry.

52. Thanks, see ya later.

53. I know what you're thinking—

54. How'd they get all that baby

55. food into the baby's lung?

56. I know what you're thinking—

57. Where did this handsome devil

58. come from, and no, it's not

59. Handsome Devil School.

60. Or it's not Handsome Devil Land.

61. I come from Mexico!

62. I know what you're

63. thinking—

64. What?

65. Where did all the bread

66. come from?

67. I don't know.

68. Bread sandwiches for

69. everybody!

70. Gimme five, Johnny.

71. Uh!

72. Ah!

73. I know what you're thinking—

74. The peanut is neither a pea nor

75. a banana!

76. What gives?

77. Ya ya ya ya ya ya ga!

78. Hey, kids!

79. Today I'm gonna teach ya how to

80. paint a squirrel.

81. First you need a squirrel and

82. some paint.

83. Now you know how to paint a

84. squirrel.

85. Case closed.

86. Can you do me a favor?

87. What's that?

88. Can you watch me act

89. like an idiot?

90. And don't judge me.

91. Just pretend like I'm a genius.

92. If that's what you want.

93. Okay, yeah, that's what

94. I want.

95. Goo goo!

96. Bing-bong! Bing-bong!

97. Gah gah gah gah!

98. Yo, yo, yo.

99. The moral of the story is to

100. never let your sippy cup eat

101. stuff, y'all.

102. 'Cause it makes the drinks taste

103. mad gross.

104. Peace!

105. Aw, out of ink!

106. Hi, is this the delivery store?

107. Yeah, I need to order something.

108. Okay, thanks, bye.

109. Oh, I hope it gets here quick.

110. Yay, now I can finish the

111. letter!

112. Ooh.

113. Yay!

114. Happy Birthday!

115. Here's your card.

116. And here's your chocolatey

117. present.

118. Eat it, little buddy.

119. Hello?

120. What's a matter?

121. You don't like pie?

122. 911?

123. I need to trace the

124. last call.

125. It's coming from inside the

126. house!

127. You gotta get outta there!

128. Oh, no!

129. It's too late!

130. Hey, Andy, what's up?

131. No!

132. I don't want you to see me like

133. this.

134. Okay, cool.

135. Have you seen my cousin

136. Jonathan?

137. By the way, he's a pie.

138. Hey, what's that on your face?

139. Um...

140. It's carrot juice.

141. Okay, Andy, I'm gonna go fly

142. to Mars now.

143. Okay, bye.

144. Bye.

145. Can I tickle you?

146. It'll feel good.

147. Tickle tickle!

148. Cootchy coo!

149. Wahh!

150. Cootchy coo!

151. Oh, ho, look at him!

152. Ohh.

153. Wow.

154. It would be great to be a rat.

155. Dance, rat!

156. Dance!

157. Dance, rat, dance!

158. Dance, rat, dance!

159. Dance, rat!

160. Come on, rat!

161. Dance!

162. Dance, rat, dance!

163. Ah!

164. That's it, rat!

165. I'm taking you down to the river

166. to drown you!

167. Ahh!

168. Wow, I was right.

169. Being a rat is great.

170. I'm a-get you, rat!

171. Ahh!

172. Ah, there you are, rat.

173. Eee!

174. Come here, you rat.

175. I'm a-get you, rat.

176. Come here.

177. Eee ee ee!

178. Come here, rat.

179. Which way, which way—

180. I'm gonna get you, rat, come

181. here.

182. I tricked you, rat!

183. You don't have to wipe your

184. nose on your sleeve.

185. You can just use me.

186. No, it's okay.

187. Let me eat your boogers!

188. What?

189. No.

190. Especially not if you ask me

191. that way.

192. That's gross.

193. Please!

194. I love to eat boogers.

195. Come on, give me boogers!

196. Boogers, boogers!

197. I want boogers!

198. Leave me alone, weirdo!

199. Let me eat your boogers!

200. Come on, boogers!

201. I need 'em!

202. I need the boogers!

203. Die, die, you creepy

204. sicko!

205. Creepy sicko!

206. What's your favorite

207. food?

208. My favorite food?

209. Uh-huh.

210. Is macaroni.

211. Macaroni?

212. Can I put a mop on your head?

213. Oh!

214. Gonna put a mop on my head?

215. Yeah, just for a

216. minute.

217. I won't make fun of you, I

218. promise.

219. Okay, it's for the kids,

220. yeah.

221. It's for the kids.

222. Okay.

223. I'll do it.

224. Mop head! Mop head!

225. You got a mop head!

226. Can I put this mop on your head?

227. Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

228. Please?

229. I won't make fun of you, I

230. promise.

231. All right, go ahead.

232. All right.

233. Mop head! Mop head!

234. You got a mop head!

235. You got a mop head!

236. How do you like your mop head,

237. mop head?

238. It's funny, yeah.

239. Sir, can I put this mop on your

240. head?

241. Now you want me to be a clown

242. for you?

243. No, no, no.

244. Come on.

245. I just want to see how it looks.

246. I won't make fun of you, I

247. promise.

248. I'm not gonna ridicule

249. myself, man.

250. No, no, no, I won't

251. make fun of you, I promise.

252. No.

253. Please?

254. No?

255. Are you kidding me?

256. Put a mop on my head...

257. Pizza ass.

258. Pizza ass.

259. Pizza ass.

260. Pizza ass jeans.

261. The jeans with pizza on the ass.

262. Yo yo yo yo,

263. yo yo yo yo,

264. yo.

265. Yo.

266. Yo, yo, yo, yo.

267. Yo, get ready for The Andy

268. Miligmakis Show.

269. Now, that's how you rhyme.

270. Sucka!

271. Oh!

272. Whoo.

273. Hi.

274. Whoo!

275. Oh oh oh!

276. Whoa!

277. Whoa!

278. I'm having a heart attack!

279. I will help you, young

280. Ralphie.

281. Ahh!

282. I will help you from this heart

283. attack you are having.

284. Ew.

285. I think we're gonna need to

286. replace this.

287. Now, this heart will

288. make you feel brand-stankin'

289. new.

290. Thanks for the new heart,

291. Andy.

292. No problem.

293. Mm-mm.

294. Your heart is mad good, Ralphie.

295. And delicious.

296. I'm scared of the dark.

297. Oh, I'm shredding.

298. Oh, it's crazy how unfake this

299. mountain is.

300. Whoa, what are you doing, guy?

301. Just doing some

302. snowboarding, man.

303. You are ripping.

304. What kind of board is that?

305. Oh, this old thing?

306. You ain't seen nothing yet,

307. sucka!

308. Wow!

309. Dude, this is crazy.

310. Where'd you get that thing?

311. You gotta tell me, man.

312. I don't gotta tell you

313. nothing.

314. Get away from me.

315. Ya! Ya!

316. Pow!

317. Aw!

318. Killer flute, man.

319. Blow!

320. Blow!

321. Whoa ho ho!

322. Damn, that thing is awesome!

323. Just tell me where you got that

324. thing.

325. I will trade you this Olympic

326. gold medal.

327. Really?

328. Tell me.

329. I got this board...

330. From hell!

331. Ahh!

332. Holy crap, it's the devil!

333. You ain't seen nothing

334. yet, baby doll!

335. Pow!

336. Whoa! The devil!

337. Ooh boy.

338. Oh, I'm falling!

339. Oh, please don't kill me!

340. I'm so scared and cold.

341. Man, your board—

342. I think it's possessed.

343. It's—it's so evil.

344. And powerful.

345. I better get that down to this

346. evil, dark, non-fictional lab

347. that I know of.

348. No, don't leave me.

349. I don't know where I live.

350. Um...

351. Let me think...

352. Why don't you

353. come live in hell with me?

354. Burn!

355. ♪ Yo the show is over

356. Whaa!

357. Hee haw!

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