The Andy Milonakis Show 2x1

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In this episode, Dr. Billy makes a special house call, Paul Wall gets grillin' and more. Whee!

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1. rip!

2. Ah!

3. ♪ Pancake on my face ♪ makes me extra happy.

4. Hey, you want to interview me?

5. Yeah, sure.

6. Okay, right here.

7. So what do you want to ask me?

8. What questions do you want to ask me?

9. Uh, how old are you?

10. This interview's over!

11. What do you want to ask me?

12. Okay, I want to ask you, what are you doing out here

13. in the cold?

14. And you call yourself a journalist?

15. This interview is over!

16. Ask me a question.

17. Isn't it too cold out here to be out here on a table?

18. This...

19. interview...

20. is over!

21. Okay, what do you want

22. to ask me?

23. What is your— This interview

24. is over!

25. Okay, ask me a question.

26. Tú está bien?

27. Esta interview es finito!

28. Okay.

29. Hi, can I place a delivery, please?

30. Yeah, uh, one order of fried rice and one order of chicken

31. with broccoli.

32. Come inside.

33. Open the door, please.

34. Come inside.

35. Come inside?

36. Yeah.

37. 6% is just not worth it.

38. Just walk around.

39. 6% is not worth it.

40. Nope.

41. Around.

42. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

43. But— Just—okay?

44. All right, bye.

45. All right, so.

46. You came here for a loan, huh?

47. Okay, let's see this.

48. What's your credit like?

49. $8.00 mortgage.

50. Mm...

51. Not too good.

52. I'll try.

53. Let me see if I can get a good

54. rate for you.

55. Hello.

56. Yeah.

57. This guy wants money, and he wants it fast.

58. He owns a bicycle.

59. He, um...

60. He—he seems like a pretty good guy.

61. He's very, very handsome.

62. Give him the money

63. or no?

64. No? Okay.

65. Sorry, your loan was denied.

66. No?

67. No, sorry, I can't do anything.

68. What, am I speaking Greek?

69. Hey, come in, come inside,

70. please.

71. Let him inside.

72. Come in.

73. Hey, come inside, please.

74. Get in line.

75. Okay.

76. Your loan was denied, but I'm not done with you.

77. How much is that?

78. $8.75.

79. Oh, you want money too?

80. You want a loan?

81. Yeah.

82. This guy—he needs money.

83. Yeah, no, it's a different guy.

84. Yeah, he's a little less attractive.

85. He gets the money, but the first one doesn't?

86. Throw the first one out?

87. Okay, I'll get security.

88. Hold on.

89. Security.

90. Somebody call for security?

91. Let's go, buster.

92. Here you go.

93. That's for you.

94. Your loan was approved.

95. Congratulations.

96. Let's go...

97. Let's go, buster.

98. Let's go, buster, before I give you a one-two karate chop.

99. Get him out, get him out, get him out.

100. Security.

101. Threw— Oh, his loan was approved?

102. Oh, I'm sorry.

103. Hey, come here, I'm sorry.

104. Your loan was approved too.

105. You and your wife have a wonderful life together.

106. First, take him out.

107. He's outta here.

108. Get him out, get him out, get him out.

109. He's filthy; he's a liar.

110. Out you go!

111. I'm bored.

112. Oh, I know!

113. Let's make a tin can phone.

114. Yeah, cool!

115. Ralphie, Ralphie, can you hear me?

116. Hello? Hello?

117. Hello?

118. All I hear is creamed corn.

119. I win! I win!

120. I won the pillow fight!

121. Thank God you're here, Doctor.

122. I don't know how much longer he can hang on for.

123. Where's the patient?

124. Right here.

125. He doesn't look good.

126. Is there anything you could do for him, Doc?

127. I'll do my best.

128. Clear!

129. Clear!

130. Sorry, I did all I could.

131. Oh, why, Doctor, why?

132. He had children!

133. He was in pretty bad shape when I got here.

134. He lost a lot of crumbs.

135. I think you know what has to happen now.

136. But where will I find the strength?

137. Do it for the young'uns.

138. Don't drag this out any

139. longer than it has to be.

140. Oh, God!

141. God, give me strength!

142. That'll be $40,000.

143. Money means nothing to me anymore.

144. Here you go, con artist.

145. Whatever, dude.

146. Get outta here!

147. The Andy Milonakis Show will be right back.

148. That was a computer saying that.

149. Muwahh!

150. Muwahh!

151. Andy Milonakis Show.

152. Whoo hoo!

153. Good fun!

154. I love America, hey!

155. What do you like about soda?

156. Oh, I love soda.

157. Why?

158. Because it's very tasty— You're very tasty.

159. What do you like about popcorn?

160. Oh, I don't like popcorn.

161. You know, it gets all up in your teeth.

162. You get all up in my teeth.

163. All right, now.

164. What do you like about earrings?

165. Oh, you have to have a little earring.

166. When you ain't got no hair, you gotta have a little earring.

167. I have to have a little of you when I ain't got no hair.

168. What?

169. What do you like about apples?

170. You're a— What's your favorite food?

171. Some down home-cooked collard greens.

172. What do you like about—

173. Pork chops.

174. What do you like about pork chops?

175. What do you like about collard greens?

176. Oh, baby, they are so good.

177. You're so good.

178. You know, you're a little too fresh.

179. What do you like about the summer?

180. Oh, I love the summer.

181. I love you.

182. No, you don't!

183. Yes, I do!

184. No, you're trying to play me.

185. I love you!

186. Right.

187. Gimme an A!

188. Ugh!

189. I'm scared.

190. Peace, God.

191. Oh, I can't dance.

192. I have no moves.

193. What am I to do?

194. Don't be blue.

195. Let me help you.

196. Ahh!

197. Now you have pizzazz!

198. Wow.

199. Hey, magical lady from heaven, what should I call ya?

200. My name is Lady Von Dancing Well.

201. Lady Von Dancing Well?

202. I like me the sound of that!

203. Hey, can you help me with something else?

204. Why, of course!

205. Thank you.

206. Uhh!

207. Uhh!

208. Ahh!

209. Me can't open it.

210. With pizzazz, you'll have the strength of 15 llamas.

211. Oop.

212. Ahh!

213. Wow, I don't even like sauerkraut!

214. Bing.

215. Now you will love the taste of everything in the world,

216. including nasty sauerkraut.

217. Wow.

218. Oh, no, I'm slowing down.

219. The pizzazz!

220. I need more pizzazz!

221. Give it to me!

222. Gimme more pizzazz!

223. I need it!

224. Give it to me!

225. Boop!

226. Ahh.

227. Oh, that's the good stuff.

228. Yeah, that's the good stuff.

229. Yeah.

230. That's the good stuff!

231. Come on; gimme a little pizzazz.

232. Just a little pizzazz.

233. Come on.

234. I know I have to have more

235. toothpaste somewhere.

236. Ooh!

237. Hey, Ralphie, you wanna go throw

238. snowballs at cars?

239. I'm sorry, Andrew.

240. I'm not interested in your asinine tomfoolery.

241. Ralphie, have you been touching your smart dial again?

242. I have a smart dial?

243. Preposterous.

244. Comical, farcical.

245. Ridiculous.

246. Ludicrous!

247. Beligable.

248. Sheligable.

249. Bluh bluh bluh bluh, bluh bluh bluh bluh.

250. Exactly, Ralphie, exactly.

251. Sure, I could breathe fire.

252. It's not that much of a big deal.

253. The Andy Milonakis Show will be right back.

254. Mm!

255. Ahh!

256. No!

257. No, I'm allergic to Jujubes!

258. It's...

259. With Handsome Pig...

260. Eyemouth Suzy...

261. The Not So Human Stick...

262. Hair Mouth...

263. Vicious Critter...

264. plus Acid Reflux Charlie and Mini Dracula.

265. We're having barbecue baked beans with bacon in fried

266. pig's blood.

267. Mm! Blood!

268. Pig! Pig!

269. I love pig, homes!

270. Ha ha, very funny.

271. You're cooking pig; I get it.

272. I'm part pig, and you're cooking my family.

273. Whatever, it's not like I'm a wild pig that people can eat.

274. I mean, I—I have really good looks.

275. I walk upright.

276. Apologize to Handsome Pig.

277. What you said was very uncalled for.

278. Shush, Acid Reflux Charlie!

279. I lied!

280. What we're really having for dinner is the best damn filet

281. mignon this side of the old Mississip'.

282. I hope you made mine extra bloody.

283. Ew!

284. Wooby, you puked on the floor again!

285. I told you not to make me angry.

286. And now I'm angry!

287. Ahh!

288. Andy : Sma.

289. Stop making fun of me.

290. Stupid jerk!

291. You stupid idiot jerk!

292. Stupid!

293. I hate you, Andy!

294. How am I gonna eat candy with no teeth?

295. I know what you need, baby.

296. A new grill.

297. Whoa.

298. Paul Wall.

299. Come on in.

300. Andy, what's up?

301. Those chompers'll let you bite through anything.

302. Wow, even a spoon?

303. Even a spoon.

304. Wow, I wanna bite everything!

305. This frying pan.

306. This diamond.

307. This apple sauce.

308. I am superhuman!

309. I will bite through anything!

310. 'Cause I like biting things!

311. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

312. Listen to me, Andy.

313. You gotta use your powers for good.

314. Yeah, whatever!

315. I like to bite.

316. It feels good.

317. Leave me alone.

318. Help, help!

319. Someone's in trouble.

320. Let's go!

321. Help, help, I'm in peril.

322. My foot is caught in a blender.

323. Ahh!

324. Hey, man, how'd you get your foot stuck in a blender?

325. I was making this delicious breakfast, man.

326. You gotta get me out of this.

327. Oh, I see; we have to use our grills

328. for the greater good.

329. Now you're starting to understand, little homey.

330. Let's free him!

331. You did it!

332. You're my heroes!

333. Y'all got some strong teeth.

334. Strong physically...

335. And spiritually, homey.

336. I love my new body.

337. Now, those are some tight stumps, Ralphie.

338. Maybe I'll come back next week and put some gold caps on those.

339. Anyway, I gotta go make some more grills, so I'm gonna catch

340. y'all later.

341. Aw, you're leaving?

342. Don't forget.

343. Use your fronts well, my child.

344. Thank you, Paul Wall.

345. ♪ Yo, the show ♪ is over, ♪ so I gotta go, son.

346. Hee haw!