The Amazing World of Gumball 2x14

1. You're the chocolate chips in my cookie.

2. You're the cream in my doughnut. You're the syrup in my

3. pancakes. Ohh!

4. That's disgusting! Oh, come on. I think it's cute that they're

5. eating from the same plate. Dude, there's nothing cute about that.

6. You're so intolerant. How else is he supposed to eat?

7. It's not that. What annoys me is how sickeningly in love Carmen and

8. Alan are. No. I love you more because I also love loving you.

9. Sorry to interrupt, but could you please stop this? What?

10. This! This hideous picture of happiness!

11. Yeah! Give it a rest, guys. I'm so sick of your

12. stupid pet names and your gross loved-up faces! You don't see me and penny

13. acting like that! That's because you're not going out with her.

14. Exactly! You two are so beautiful, it

15. makes me believe I, too, can find love. But when I look in the mirror, I

16. realize I'm just a dirt-covered ball of starch! But, Idaho, if you want to be

17. loved, first, you got to love yourself. Yeah! You're so nice and

18. sensitive, too! I can't even hate you! You're so perfect, it makes

19. me want to rain on your parade until you swell up, turn brown, and rot.

20. Uh, I think what masami is trying to say is that you guys are so perfect, it kind of makes

21. us wish for your downfall. Uh-huh. Well said, Carrie.

22. Hmm.

23. Uh, Carmen? Aah! I should have seen that coming.

24. Are you crying? Yes.

25. But... You don't have tears. I tend to retain water.

26. Look, I'm really sorry. I don't know why I said all that

27. stuff. Because you're a gutless coward who has to ruin

28. other people's lives because he's too much of a chicken to ask penny out.

29. You're so perceptive. I'm surprised you didn't see

30. this coming. Aah!

31. But, gumball, I'm not crying because what you said was mean.

32. I'm crying because it's true. Our love is so perfect, it's becoming boring.

33. Well... I'd love to help, but —

34. great! Carmen, you know when people say, "I'd love to

35. help," that usually means "I don't want anything to do with it."

36. don't worry. All you have to do is hold my hand.

37. I can't do that! What if penny's watching? I've got this.

38. And she was like, mwah! And he was like, mwah! And I was like

39. I have no idea what you're talking about. Hey, penny.

40. I bet you a quarter you can't copy everything I do. Hmm.

41. Okay.

42. Hmm. Well-played, sir. Now I'm going to clean myself

43. up, if you don't mind. Okay, I think that's enough now.

44. If he keeps looking at me like that, I think my head's going to explode.

45. Compliment me. Okay.

46. I really like your face because it's not complicated. And I like your name — Carmen.

47. It sounds like a superhero who... Sort of drives a lot. Also, your branches are really

48. cool. It's like two arms raised — makes you look like you're

49. always winning... Or like you're wearing one of those giant cowboy hats.

50. Oh, he's not doing anything. Kiss me!

51. Come on. I'm not that bad. Look, I always thought the first girl I'd kiss

52. would be penny. We'd be on the beach at sunset, some fireflies would make a love

53. heart around us, and there would be some sort of island involved. I didn't think it would be with

54. a chick I didn't care about just to make another dude jealous! Gumball watterson might be a lot

55. of things, but he is not a cheap, corruptible coward! Oof!

56. Ieeee!

57. Oh! Look! A diversion!

58. Goodbye, Carmen.

59. Ow! He didn't do anything.

60. What did you think he was gonna do? Something dramatic — like he

61. would pound your face in and drag me away, screaming. But he just left me like he

62. didn't even care. Are you crying

63. again? Can't you tell?

64. What the... Hey! Shame on you, you dirty

65. girlfriend thief! Couple splitter! Catalyst of social

66. discontent! Homewrecker! Name! Name! Name!

67. Hey! Stop calling me names! I thought you wanted them to

68. split up, anyway! You hated them! Yeah?

69. Well, now we hate you.

70. Alan?

71. Is that you, buddy? Are you crying?

72. What does it sound like I'm doing? I don't know, man.

73. You're a bit of a biological mystery. What's so hard to understand?

74. It's not difficult. Air comes in the knot. Air goes out the knot.

75. Mm, mm. What about the spaghetti, though?

76. Spaghetti goes in, turns into air, comes back out. So, technically, you

77. weren't only crying just now. Look, what do you want? I want you to knock

78. me out in the playground in front of everybody. What? Why?

79. Because that's what Carmen wanted, man. She wanted you to show some

80. passion, but you just bailed like a wet lettuce. So man up, get out there, and

81. just pop me. There's no point. If I'm not able to make her

82. happy, I refuse to stop her finding happiness somewhere else.

83. I love her too much for that. Wow. That was so cheesy, I can

84. actually smell it. And so these two chemicals will be bound forever, and

85. nothing can pull them apart. Apart from gumball. And then he'll try to make

86. out with the carbon. What are they talking about?

87. You know, Carmen's a pretty jealous girl. You could use that to get them

88. back together. Of course! I'm gonna dress up as a girl and

89. kiss Alan. I need a really believable name, though.

90. How about "Barbara"? Or "shatanya." Oh, I know — "get out of here

91. with your stupid idea"! I meant I could go out with him.

92. Oh, yeah, that is a good idea. But it'll never work.

93. He's way too nice to do something like that. Unless...

94. Could you write that down?

95. All I heard was [ Makes whooshing noises ]

96. Dude! Pull yourself together, man. You got to start dating again.

97. What's the point? Because... "The duck-billed platypus is

98. known to store up to 600 worms in its cheek pouches"! Wait. That's my biology notes.

99. Hold on.

100. "Because you owe it to Carmen. If she sees you moving on, then she'll be able to do the same

101. and find the happiness she deserves." You're right.

102. I'll do it for Carmen! But who would date such a shriveled bag of sadness?

103. Well... No one. But if you reinflate, you could have a shot with masami.

104. I don't think I have the strength to inflate.

105. Thanks, gumball! Whatever, man. Attention, organic

106. classmates. I have information about the relationship status of the

107. gas-filled bag defined as Alan and the mass of condensation defined as masami.

108. It is on! I'm so happy.

109. They've got so much in common. They both float. They...

110. Actually, that's about it. She's still a better friend than Carmen is.

111. Okay. First the shock and then the disbelief — all according to plan.

112. Now, come on! Get angry and fight for your love!

113. Oh!

114. Or just get depressed at the sudden realization that gumball ruined your life.

115. So, what couple name do you prefer?

116. Alasami or masalan? Are you even listening?

117. Whatever one will make Carmen think we're happy. Ugh! Who cares about that

118. prickly loser? We need to talk.

119. Your plan completely bombed. Carmen didn't get jealous. She just looks really sad...

120. And turgid. What are you guys talk— the plan worked perfectly.

121. Hey, I'm — Alan is finally with the right girl — the one who has

122. always loved him.

123. You lied to me! That's it! I'm telling everyone. No, you won't.

124. Unless you want penny to find out you kissed Carmen. Too late!

125. Uh! Darwin told me everything. Sorry, dude.

126. I ran out of milkshake. Penny! Please let me explain!

127. Carmen already did. It was more of a head-butt than a kiss, to be honest.

128. It's too late for you, Carmen.

129. Alan is mine! Please! Masami, I love him! I love him more!

130. And he loves me! Can I... Just say... Something?

131. No! You're mine! Aaaah!

132. Aaaaah! Al-a-a-a-an! Gumball! Do something!

133. I think gumball's made this situation bad enough. Let me speak to her, girl to

134. girl. Masami, look into your heart. You're not a violent person.

135. Okay, gumball. Your turn.

136. Quick!

137. I've got an awesome idea! Follow me to the fire hose! Hold on.

138. I'm the one who got the idea. It should be you guys making it happen.

139. don't worry. We'll pull you out.

140. Wait. I got a better idea. Too late.

141. What the... Yeah! We made it!

142. Aaaaaah! Run!

143. I can't! I haven't got legs anymore! And I've never had any

144. before! Give him back to me!

145. Ew! Gross!

146. Thanks, guys. Whoa!

147. Give him back to me!

148. He loves me! No, I don't! I'm sorry, masami, but it's her

149. that I love. But why her? And not me?

150. Because you're psycho. Shh!

151. Masami, I — I just can't explain how my heart works. If it's anything

152. like his digestive system, you probably don't want to know. Shh!

153. I was saying... I can't explain how my heart works, but I know what it wants.

154. And I learned today that I have to stand up for that. Isn't this the

155. opposite of the lesson you're trying to teach her? Just shut up, okay?

156. Masami, a broken heart is like a mirror. It's better to leave it broken

157. than to hurt yourself trying to fix it. Oh. My. Gosh.

158. You are such a wet cheese ball. If Alan was a cheese ball... I'd want seconds.

159. I love you, Carmen. I love you, Alan. Aww!

160. I'm so happy for them. But I kind of hate them again now.

161. Let's get out of here before I retch. Penny, promise me

162. we'll never be like that. There's no risk of that 'cause you're not going out

163. with each other.

164. Pbht! Whoa!

165. No! Beep, beep, beep.

166. It's gonna explode! Come on, concentrate a little, man.

167. We'll never be ready for the math test.

168. If the square of the hypotenuse equals the sum of the square of

169. the other two sides, what is the length of side "a"? I know not, master.

170. You have failed me for the last time. Oh! No!

171. Oh, come on. We're supposed to be studying.

172. Dude, stop distracting me. All right.

173. Come on, let's get some work done.

174. It's not working. I'm not absorbing any of the knowledge.

175. Be still, you cur. Imbibe that parchment swiftly.

176. Anon we face our trial. By my bye? Elizabethan poetry?

177. Fie and fie again. We've been chewing the wrong books.

178. Oh, we're gonna flunk the test. We'll get caught in a downward spiral of failure, we'll get

179. held back a year, and before you know it, we'll be the only kids in seventh grade with beards!

180. Unless... What?

181. We could What? You know, we could

182. Ooh-whee-ooh! What?

183. You mean... Cheating! Did you really think you could

184. get away with this? To be honest, yeah, I thought we could.

185. I have no idea what went wrong. Well, maybe you'll figure it out during spring break, which

186. you're spending in detention! I'm putting you in the long-detention block.

187. So, from now on, you don't eat, you don't go to the bathroom, you don't speak, you don't even

188. blink unless I say so. Do you understand? What?

189. Can I blink, please? No.

190. Silence, you animals! These are the new inmates. Make sure they feel welcome.

191. Can I blink now? You're not gonna last two minutes in here, little fish.

192. Gumball, can you hear me? Yeah.

193. What do we do? These ugly thugs look like they were raised by hyenas in a

194. post-apocalyptic future. Especially the cupcake.

195. She looks like she was made out of rotten eggs and foot fungus. I'm a boy, dork bag.

196. Even her voice is gross. Hang on.

197. How come she can hear our secret thoughts? 'Cause you're talking out

198. loud, homey. Yeah, that makes more sense.

199. Oh, man. Even my bruises have

200. bruises. don't worry, buddy. I've got just what you need.

201. A kiss to make it better? No.

202. We need to look older if we want them to respect us. Let's get some tattoos, homeboy.

203. What do you think? I don't know. I think we look a bit too old

204. for young offenders. Maybe. Perfect.

205. What are you looking at, punk?

206. Stop! His eyes are touching each other!

207. Please let him go! Enough.

208. Thanks, man. I owe you one. You owe me more than that if you want my protection, "daby."

209. What's a daby? Detention slang for "dumb baby."

210. Oh, I see. He means "who are you

211. gonna protect us from?" Me!

212. Why does that kid want us to steal the school plans, anyway?

213. That's the least of our worries. The guy's a walking time bomb.

214. Okay, let's do this. Here. Found it.

215. Now let's get out of — What?

216. Dude, you got to see this.

217. Oh! It's not what it looks like.

218. We accidentally slipped and fell, and the d-d-drawer went "fwoosh," and this one fwooshed,

219. and we — let me start again. There was an eagle, and it came

220. through the window and tried to steal — I mean, it was totally like this

221. when we got here. I'll teach you for ruining my surprise for miss simian.

222. You're both going to the correctional room! No!

223. Not the correctional room! Boys, I believe you keep getting into trouble because

224. you're not expressing yourselves creatively. To teach you how, I'm gonna read

225. you some of my poems, okay? I don't know why I freaked out so much.

226. This really isn't that bad. The first is an epic life story written by the perspective

227. of a shoe. Part 1 of 87 — birth.

228. Dark factory. Noise, the smell of Polish. Soles fitting soles soulessly.

229. Let us out! This is cruel and unusual!

230. So, what have we learned today? don't ever break the

231. rules ever again. No, fish. don't ever get caught.

232. That's the only rule you need to care about. Now here's a list of the stuff

233. you're gonna steal for me.

234. every day ♪ [ Singing

235. indistinctly ] ♪ I seen a lot of sad things ♪ ♪ and it gets worse

236. ♪ they think I learned my lesson that crime just

237. silence, you animals! I want this room cleaned up by lunchtime!

238. Do you hear me? Where is he going? I don't know!

239. And why do he need a map, some rope, a rake, and a paper c— oh, my gosh, he's going to

240. escape! No, dude. We are. I don't think we're

241. ready for life on the outside. Why do you say that? Because we've run

242. straight back to detention. I think we've been

243. here so long we've lost our taste for freedom. Let's just go back

244. in. No, no, no! Did you see what

245. that bear just did to that guy's cherry? I think that just

246. cured me. Let's get out of here!

247. Take us! Ha! I don't think so.

248. Dude, come on, please!

249. We're too cute for detention! I don't care.

250. Please! Please! I beg you! Please!

251. Okay, okay, just stop shouting!

252. Detention break! Lock down! Okay, now, we climb up this

253. shaft and get to the roof. Are you sure? I mean, this doesn't feel

254. dangerous enough. Isn't there a lake of fire on your map or maybe a spider pit?

255. Oh! I know. How about an acid bath full of sharks with machine guns?

256. don't worry. I've got this.

257. Right. So what's the plan now? Well, you can always go back.

258. Well, that was easier than I thought. So what now?

259. What the what? I thought you said this led to the roof!

260. It does. It just won't open. What the what?

261. What? What do you mean it won't open? I mean there's no way to get

262. out, you massork! What does that mean?

263. Detention slang for "massive dork." Oh, yeah?

264. Well, you're a sodging therk with a farstache! What?

265. A soap-dodging thunder jerk with a fart mustache.

266. Yeah? Well, you're a flerching nerf with a triflep in his crane

267. slip, and your brother's just a busting blider!

268. You double-crossing ner—

269. Well played. I learned from the best.

270. Oh! So that's what we needed the rope for. And we'll use the

271. rake as a hook.

272. Quick! Okay. How long does this rope need to

273. be? It's the square of the height of the school multiplied by the —

274. Are you sure it's not divide? Oh, yeah.

275. The square of the height of the school minus — Divide!

276. That's what I said! You said "minus"! It's the same thing!

277. No, it's not! Is it?

278. Uh, let's just wing it.

279. Wish we'd learned that math thing now. We could've escaped from

280. detention. No, dude. If we'd learnt it, we wouldn't

281. be in detention. Wow. I guess we did learn something

282. today. When you cheat, the only person you're really

283. cheating is yourself. Uh, no. Never get caught!

284. Surrender now and you'll only —

285. See you never! Talk to you never, principal brown!

286. I don't know why they're so happy.

287. They still have to come back here tomorrow.