1. Ah, I love going through Mom
and Dad's past when I'm bored.
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2. We always find
a new chink in the armor.
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3. Dude!
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4. That's Mom's old diary.
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5. "Today, I spent all my money
on new pompoms
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6. because I'm a big boy...
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7. and I want to go
to the try-outs
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8. even if my mom says that—"
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9. "Cheerleading is
for big people,
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10. not kids whose feet
don't get wet in their shower."
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11. Yes, this diary is mine.
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12. Mr. Dad,
did you actually make the team?
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13. Richie, stop.
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14. It's gonna be like that time
you tried horse riding.
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15. But it was a small accident.
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16. Just a pulled
muscle in the lower back.
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17. Of the horse.
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18. But I want to be
like that, Mama.
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19. A flyer.
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20. It's my dream.
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21. Ah, don't dream too big, baby.
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22. Success doesn't run
in the Watterson family.
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23. Cholesterol, on the other hand.
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24. I didn't even bother
trying to make the team,
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25. because Mama taught me
an important lesson that day.
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26. "Dreams are impossible
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27. and desires are pointless."
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28. Um, Mr. Dad, listen.
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29. Sometimes the key
to your dreams
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30. is looking inside yourself.
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31. Yeah, that's gonna be a big...
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32. "No!"
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33. Huh, what the... What was that?
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34. Intergenerational travel.
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35. And what the word
does that mean?
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36. It means the bad that happened
to the people
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37. before we were born
being dumped onto us.
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38. From our parents all the way
to our furthest ancestors.
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39. Dreams are stupid.
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40. Girls can't do that.
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41. Yeah, only boys
are intelligent enough
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42. to invent genius things
like plastic, honey.
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43. I love the smell
of asbestos in the morning.
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44. Fender is not an option.
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45. Huh, so like, the reason
Mom always screams
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46. like an electrocuted goat
is because of her mother?
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47. I don't always scream like my—
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48. Are you sure that's what it is?
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49. Yes, and I'll prove it.
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50. Say "I'm worthy," Dad.
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51. Hm, I'm...
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52. Not!
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53. Is there a cure?
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54. Yes, self-worth.
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55. This middle-aged slob must join
the school cheerleader team
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56. and feel good about himself.
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57. Wait, aren't
the try-outs tomorrow?
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58. Yeah!
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59. Found my sandwich.
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60. Ah!
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61. One, two, three, four!
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62. Don't listen to
your mother anymore.
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63. Five, six, seven, eight! Hoo!
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64. I was right to deprecate!
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65. Go, Dad!
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66. How is this supposed to help me
become a cheerleader?
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67. C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E!
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68. We're making you do stuff
she forbid in your diary.
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69. And you need exercise
for your clogged-up arteries.
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70. Do you want to become
a cheerleader, baby.
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71. Whoo!
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72. 'Scusy!
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73. There you go.
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74. Confidence!
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75. Be aggressive!
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76. B-E aggressive! Ho!
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77. Be aggressive!
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78. B-E aggressive! Ho!
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79. Be assertive!
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80. B-E assertive!
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81. Ho! Be—
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82. Ah!
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83. Humpty Awty misses sleep.
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84. Trust yourself
and take the leap!
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85. Huh!
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86. I kind of expecting
the bridge to—
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87. Ow!
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88. Oh!
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89. Woo-hoo! Woo!
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90. Woo! Woo-hoo!
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91. Woo! Yeah!
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92. This isn't working at all.
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93. Those demons from the past
won't die easy.
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94. Then they'll have to die hard.
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95. Yeah, no.
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96. Worth the shot, I guess.
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97. Come on, Dad. Say
you're gonna kill it tomorrow.
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98. I'm gonna fly like...
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99. a stove.
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100. Oh, stop putting yourself down.
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101. You're gonna do great, honey.
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102. I'm trying, but it feels like
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103. a ball and chain
attached to the...
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104. That sometimes you get
so used to thinking
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105. that you're not enough
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106. that you just...
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107. Can't even finish
your sentence?
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108. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
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109. Why are you
doing all this for me?
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110. Because we love you, Mr. Dad.
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111. - Aw!
- Hm.
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112. We're all so low-key terrified
to turn out the way he grew up.
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113. The problem is
he's the only one
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114. who could give
that confidence to himself.
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115. How can you give something
you don't have?
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116. I think it's time
we put the "con" in confidence.
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117. Are you anxious about
the tryouts tomorrow?
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118. Mm-hmm.
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119. Well, I've got something
that might help.
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120. But it's a secret.
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121. Is it a magic placebo?
Because I'm a 30-year-old man.
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122. I stopped believing in magic
two and a half years ago.
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123. It's not magic.
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124. It's...
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125. The shrunken head
of the first ever
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126. ancient cheerleader,
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127. Alexandria Cheerleader.
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128. I came up with the name.
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129. Just one kiss of her lips,
and you will fly
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130. like a jacked up pterodactyl
on Tiger Juice.
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131. Whoa!
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132. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
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133. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
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134. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Yeah, it uh...
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135. It also helps you go to sleep.
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136. Oh, okay.
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137. Oh!
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138. Mr. Small, that was amazing.
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139. This is Elmore Junior High
cheer squad.
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140. We're looking for strength,
determination,
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141. and smiles wider than
a dance floor at a funeral.
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142. Not these amateur dramatics.
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143. Great job, kids. Remember,
winning isn't everything.
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144. We're now calling
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145. the young Richard Watterson
to the central stage next.
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146. Hmm.
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147. Hm.
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148. Ah!
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149. Start the music.
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150. Hey!
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151. Uh, we're here
to assist the, uh...
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152. the young flier.
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153. If it helps end whatever
that was, then go for it.
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154. Dad, Dad, remember the routine?
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155. - Come on!
- Oh, oh yeah!
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156. Woo!
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157. Yeah!
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158. Mom?
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159. Mom, what are you doing here?
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160. Richie, I'm retired.
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161. I ain't got nothing to do.
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162. So I walk around and waltz into
whatever open public event.
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163. Graduation ceremonies, trials,
cookouts in the park.
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164. I like sports tryouts the most.
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165. For some reason,
seeing others fail miserably
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166. makes me feel better
about my own mistakes.
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167. Hey, come on, Dad.
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168. Keep your head up.
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169. Remember our secret?
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170. Oh, yeah!
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171. Mom, I don't need your support.
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172. Because now I have...
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173. Alexandria Cheerleader.
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174. Richard, that's a tennis ball
with googly eyes stuck to it.
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175. No, Dad, don't listen to her.
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176. Richard! When
you're feeling a little blue,
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177. remember that
we all believe in you.
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178. Richard!
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179. When you're feeling
a little blue,
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180. remember that...
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181. we all believe in you.
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182. So go, go, go, go, go!
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183. Go, go, go, go!
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184. Go, go, go!
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185. Go!
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186. Oh, wow!
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187. That's my Richard.
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188. No!
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189. That's our Richard.
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190. Well, dude, I think
we're suffering some trauma,
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191. but at least
it's not intergenerational.
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192. Give me an E, give me an R.
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