1. Ahh!
Ahh! Ahh!
Copy !req
2. That's better.
Copy !req
3. Come on,
we're gonna be late!
Copy !req
4. Hey, are you crazy,
you dumb —
Copy !req
5. We need a shortcut.
Copy !req
6. Put your hands on your head
and come out of the building.
Copy !req
7. Oh! Ah! Dah!
Copy !req
8. Sorry. I meant,
come out of the building
Copy !req
9. and put your hands
on your head.
Copy !req
10. Get out of my way,
we're late for school!
Copy !req
11. Hey, Mrs. Watterson,
what about the — gah!
Copy !req
12. Money...
Copy !req
13. What?
Copy !req
14. We traveled faster than
the speed of sound.
Copy !req
15. Give it a second.
Copy !req
16. Have a nice day.
There you go.
Copy !req
17. Thanks, Mom.
Copy !req
18. Hello, Nicole.
Copy !req
19. I've waited a long time
for this.
Copy !req
20. I'm sorry,
I really can't see you.
Copy !req
21. Could you just
take a step forward?
Copy !req
22. Yuki?
Copy !req
23. Yes, Nicole.
I have returned...
Copy !req
24. to fight!
Copy !req
25. Okay, everybody,
leave or cover your eyes.
Copy !req
26. This scene is gonna be
rated "R"
Copy !req
27. for an abundance
of outrageous gore!
Copy !req
28. I'm sorry, Yuki, you win.
Copy !req
29. I don't want any trouble.
Copy !req
30. You're not half the person
I used to know.
Copy !req
31. Your butt, on the other hand,
is twice the size.
Copy !req
32. O.M.G.!
Copy !req
33. She just called mom fat.
Copy !req
34. It was nice
seeing you, Yuki.
Copy !req
35. Coward!
Where is your honor?
Copy !req
36. Fight me!
Fight me!
Copy !req
37. What the actual what?
Copy !req
38. I can't believe Mrs. Mom
just walked away.
Copy !req
39. Maybe she walked to that woman's
house and ate her pets.
Copy !req
40. No, that was weird.
Copy !req
41. She looked like
she'd seen a ghost.
Copy !req
42. Maybe mom is afraid.
Copy !req
43. Hmm. Weird, I never thought
I'd hear the words
Copy !req
44. "mom" and "afraid"
in the same sentence.
Copy !req
45. Unless the sentence was,
"I'm really afraid of you, Mom."
Copy !req
46. Or, "You should be afraid
of our mom."
Copy !req
47. Or, "The test results
just came back.
Copy !req
48. I'm afraid your mom
isn't 90% water,
Copy !req
49. she's 90% anger."
Copy !req
50. Uh...
so what happened?
Copy !req
51. Oh, nothing. She was just
an old school friend.
Copy !req
52. I meant what happened
to the car?
Copy !req
53. Oh, that.
Copy !req
54. Fight me!
Coward, fight me!
Copy !req
55. Oh, it's just a scratch.
Seat belts, please.
Copy !req
56. Here we go.
Copy !req
57. Nicole, I think we need
better toothpaste.
Copy !req
58. What?
Copy !req
59. Is there something wrong
with my hair?
Copy !req
60. Does it look better
with a hat?
Copy !req
61. I think it goes really well
with my eyes.
Copy !req
62. Come on, you!
Copy !req
63. What's wrong?
Copy !req
64. Nothing.
Good.
Copy !req
65. You keep smiling or I'll have
to use my secret weapon.
Copy !req
66. What's that?
Copy !req
67. Butt, butt, butt, butt,
butt-butt!
Copy !req
68. Butt, butt, butt,
butt, butt-butt!
Copy !req
69. What is so funny?
Copy !req
70. Yuki Oshida.
Copy !req
71. Hello, Richard.
Copy !req
72. Hmm.
Copy !req
73. You look more handsome
than ever.
Copy !req
74. What's your secret?
Copy !req
75. Uh, I got old
and fat... er.
Copy !req
76. What's a man like you doing
with a woman like her?
Copy !req
77. Shh! I don't think she knows
she could do better.
Copy !req
78. Oh, Richard,
you always were so funny.
Copy !req
79. And doughy.
Copy !req
80. Somebody pinch me,
I must be dreaming.
Copy !req
81. Ow!
Copy !req
82. Oh, sorry.
Copy !req
83. I thought you said "punch,"
not "pinch."
Copy !req
84. There is no point, Yuki.
I refuse to fight you.
Copy !req
85. What kind of woman
would do nothing
Copy !req
86. in the face
of such dishonor?
Copy !req
87. Mom?
Can we go, please?
Copy !req
88. That was mine!
Copy !req
89. Never mind.
Copy !req
90. My husband owns this factory,
so this is my spot now.
Copy !req
91. Yours is over there.
Copy !req
92. Hmph.
Copy !req
93. To be honest, compared to
the rest of the stuff
Copy !req
94. you've been doing,
this is pretty tame.
Copy !req
95. Ugh!
Copy !req
96. Oh.
Copy !req
97. Oh!
Copy !req
98. Oh, come on!
Copy !req
99. Sorry, guys.
Copy !req
100. I don't know what's going on
with mom and this woman, either.
Copy !req
101. I do.
They have history.
Copy !req
102. Once upon a time, Nicole
and my mother were friends,
Copy !req
103. studying karate
under my grandfather.
Copy !req
104. Separately, they were strong,
but together,
Copy !req
105. there was nothing
they could not do.
Copy !req
106. Until the Elmore Kumite,
Copy !req
107. a ruthless martial arts
tournament.
Copy !req
108. Nicole was mother's kohai,
her protégé.
Copy !req
109. But as the tournament
progressed,
Copy !req
110. they had to face each other
in the final fight.
Copy !req
111. My mother should
have won easily,
Copy !req
112. but your mother's fighting
spirit allowed her to triumph.
Copy !req
113. Dishonored before her sensei,
my mother left America in shame.
Copy !req
114. Nicole gave up the way
of the Bushido
Copy !req
115. out of sadness
for losing her friend.
Copy !req
116. Back in Japan, my mother
trained all these years
Copy !req
117. for her next fight, and now
she's back to regain her honor.
Copy !req
118. But mother will not accept
this fight.
Copy !req
119. Her heart is too pure
to hurt a friend.
Copy !req
120. Her soul is too noble.
Copy !req
121. Can you stop that, please?
Copy !req
122. Sorry.
Sorry.
Copy !req
123. They're right, though.
Mom won't fight a friend.
Copy !req
124. She may not have
a choice.
Copy !req
125. Your mother has to take care
of some unfinished business.
Copy !req
126. Don't follow me.
It's too dangerous.
Copy !req
127. There's leftover ham
in the fridge
Copy !req
128. and some tater tots in the oven.
Copy !req
129. Do not microwave them.
They'll go soggy!
Copy !req
130. Yuki threatened
to get mom fired
Copy !req
131. and lose the house
unless she fights.
Copy !req
132. We've got to stop them.
Copy !req
133. What took
you guys so long?
Copy !req
134. Takes ages to get anywhere
on these legs.
Copy !req
135. Are you also here
to stop the fight?
Copy !req
136. Yeah, but then I realized I'd
probably get annihilated trying.
Copy !req
137. So...
Copy !req
138. You fought well,
Nicole-san,
Copy !req
139. but I've been training
my whole life for this moment.
Copy !req
140. Let me show you
what I've learned.
Copy !req
141. Yah!
Copy !req
142. Impossible.
Copy !req
143. How?
Copy !req
144. I have been through
Copy !req
145. the most grueling training
on the planet.
Copy !req
146. Which school taught you?
Was it Hokkaido?
Copy !req
147. Was it Konoha?
Or was it Mr. Miyagi?
Copy !req
148. No, it was
the school of life.
Copy !req
149. I have raised three kids
and one husband.
Copy !req
150. Ha!
Copy !req
151. Huh?
Copy !req
152. Let's just be friends.
Copy !req
153. I don't need your pity!
Copy !req
154. No!
Copy !req
155. Kids!
Copy !req
156. It's gonna collapse!
Aah!
Copy !req
157. I can't do it!
Copy !req
158. But, together, we can!
Copy !req
159. Hyah! Hyah!
Copy !req
160. Come on!
Copy !req
161. I'm sorry, Nicole.
Copy !req
162. I was just...
jealous.
Copy !req
163. Well, you shouldn't be.
Copy !req
164. You always had the best hair
and house and car
Copy !req
165. and butler and ponies
and pony butlers.
Copy !req
166. I can't believe I tried
to annihilate you.
Copy !req
167. I tried to annihilate you first.
Don't worry about it.
Copy !req
168. - I missed you!
- I missed you, too!
Copy !req
169. Come on, guys.
Copy !req
170. Let's go home.
Copy !req
171. Oh, please!
Copy !req
172. It was just little argument
between friends.
Copy !req
173. Yeah, no harm done.
Copy !req
174. Ma'am, do you find the
new speed bumps
Copy !req
175. in your neighborhood
a nuisance?
Copy !req
176. Yes. I believe
these imported speed bumps
Copy !req
177. do not fit
the regulation standards.
Copy !req
178. Aah!
Copy !req
179. [ High-pitched ]
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
Copy !req
180. I'm very hungry today.
Copy !req
181. Let's make something to eat.
Copy !req
182. Mmm!
Copy !req
183. This looks deli—
Copy !req
184. Aaah!
Copy !req
185. It's back flip time!
Copy !req
186. One... two... three...
Copy !req
187. It's back flip time!
Again.
Copy !req
188. One... two... three...
Copy !req
189. Okay.
It's back flip time.
Copy !req
190. This time it'll work.
Copy !req
191. One, two, three!
Copy !req
192. Ta-da...
Copy !req
193. Hey!
Copy !req
194. No. No!
Copy !req
195. Oh, no!
Copy !req
196. Grandmaaa!
Copy !req
197. Silly face challenge!
Copy !req
198. Nose baby!
Copy !req
199. Lips monster!
Copy !req
200. Sassy gangster!
Copy !req
201. Space Grinch!
Copy !req
202. Chin creature!
Copy !req
203. Aah!
Copy !req
204. And... I think we have
our winner.
Copy !req
205. Belching challenge!
Copy !req
206. I think
we have our winner.
Copy !req
207. High-pitched voice challenge!
Copy !req
208. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Copy !req
209. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Copy !req
210. aaaaaaaaaah!
Copy !req
211. Oh, no!
I broke the camera!
Copy !req
212. I don't think
it was the camera.
Copy !req
213. Hi, guys, this is
my new phone-unboxing video.
Copy !req
214. My old phone told me
it needed an update,
Copy !req
215. so I followed it's advice,
threw it away,
Copy !req
216. and my dad bought me a new one.
Copy !req
217. Here comes the moment of truth.
Copy !req
218. Whoo! Dry ice!
Copy !req
219. That's new! They really know
how to make it spectacular.
Copy !req
220. And here it is, the new —
Copy !req
221. What — what the...?
Copy !req
222. What is that?
Copy !req
223. Okay, so, yeah,
after a little research,
Copy !req
224. I discovered what happened
to my package.
Copy !req
225. Looks like it was dispatched
to the wrong address.
Copy !req
226. Clamp.
Copy !req
227. Kidney.
Copy !req
228. Hey, dude.
Copy !req
229. Huh? Ahh.
Copy !req
230. Aaah!
Copy !req
231. Mmm!
Copy !req
232. Gotcha.
Copy !req
233. All right. Bye.
Copy !req
234. See you later.
Copy !req
235. I love butter, but "science"
claims the body is not designed
Copy !req
236. to consume only butter.
Copy !req
237. Well, man has
been known to overcome
Copy !req
238. every great obstacle
in his existence.
Copy !req
239. We've been on the moon,
and proved the Earth is flat,
Copy !req
240. and Albert Einstein brought
a guy named Frank
Copy !req
241. back from the grave,
so I'll tell you what —
Copy !req
242. real science is not taking "no"
for an answer.
Copy !req
243. Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you... Buttersmear!
Copy !req
244. It's the combined tastes of
all the essential food groups.
Copy !req
245. Burgers, bacon, sausage, and
fries, bacon, burritos, curries,
Copy !req
246. bacon, bacon, bacon,
all in one healthy,
Copy !req
247. yet delicious, yellow spread.
Copy !req
248. I've eaten Buttersmear
every meal for 11 days now,
Copy !req
249. and I feel no ill side effects
at all.
Copy !req
250. In fact, I've lost feeling
in my entire body.
Copy !req
251. Pledge today to help me
push mankind one step further!
Copy !req
252. Mmm!
Buttersmear —
Copy !req
253. makes everything taste
a little bit butter.
Copy !req
254. If you're watching this video,
Copy !req
255. please call an ambulance.
Copy !req
256. All right, everyone.
Copy !req
257. Let me show you how you can go
from this... to this.
Copy !req
258. First, let's get
this heart pumping.
Copy !req
259. Start with squats.
Copy !req
260. It's gonna go fast,
so just try to follow my moves.
Copy !req
261. And one and two and three
and four.
Copy !req
262. Feel the burn.
That's right.
Copy !req
263. Now for some sit-ups.
Copy !req
264. And one and two
and three and four.
Copy !req
265. Let's keep going.
Push-ups!
Copy !req
266. And one and two — now
you're working — and three —
Copy !req
267. And four.
Well done, everyone.
Copy !req
268. In my next video, we'll be going
into more acrobatic exercises.
Copy !req
269. Here's a little teaser —
Back flip.
Copy !req
270. This was four steps to get
in shape with Coach Russo.
Copy !req
271. Hey!
Copy !req
272. Uh, no, no, no, no!
Copy !req
273. [ Sloop! ]
Hey!
Copy !req
274. No!
[ Slump! ]
Copy !req
275. Back off! Bad boy!
Copy !req
276. Hey!
[ Slump! ]
Copy !req
277. [ Sloop, slump! ]
[ Pitch raising, lowering ]
Ahhhhhhhh!
Copy !req
278. [ Sloop, slump! ]
Hey!
Copy !req
279. [ Sloop, slump! ]
Hey!
Copy !req
280. [ Sloop, slump! ]
Hey!
Copy !req
281. [ Sloooooooop! ]
Ahhhhhhhhhhh...
Copy !req
282. Hey. Hey.
Copy !req
283. Hey! Hey! Hey!
Copy !req
284. [ Sloop! ]
No!
Copy !req
285. G-go away!
Copy !req
286. Fine,
you asked for it!
Copy !req
287. Aah!
Copy !req
288. ♪ You can be a robot
Copy !req
289. [ Low-pitched ]
♪ Nobody's a nobody
Copy !req