1. Behold, Darwin, the grossest thing ever!Copy !req
2. I shall name it The Gross Jar!Copy !req
3. It will be my legacy to the world!Copy !req
4. It's the coolest thing ever.Copy !req
5. But I thought my tap-dancing dolphin
impression was the coolest thing ever.Copy !req
6. Yeah, but this just literally
blew you out of the water.Copy !req
7. What's inside?Copy !req
8. Well...Copy !req
9. Okay...Copy !req
10. So, what are you gonna do with it?Copy !req
11. Yeah, well, that's the problem.
I don't really know.Copy !req
12. It needs a final touch
to make it a true masterpiece.Copy !req
13. Nuke it!Copy !req
14. Could you tell me when my
coffee's ready? I'll be in the garden.Copy !req
15. What's going on?Copy !req
16. It's looking at me!Copy !req
17. Dude, where did you find an eyeball?Copy !req
18. I-I didn't.Copy !req
19. It must be the atomic
power of the microwave.Copy !req
20. It looks like it's alive.Copy !req
21. Mama.Copy !req
22. Did you hear that? It called you "Mom."Copy !req
23. Hmm. Then I guess that makes you its dad.Copy !req
24. Its dad?Copy !req
25. What are we gonna do?
I don't want to be a baby father!Copy !req
26. Let's ditch it!Copy !req
27. Shh. Don't say stuff
like that in front of him!Copy !req
28. I mean, come on. He's kind of cute.Copy !req
29. Hello, little guy.Copy !req
30. Don't you worry about a thing.Copy !req
31. Me and your father
will take care of everything.Copy !req
32. Darwin!Copy !req
33. Where do you think you're going?Copy !req
34. Uh... Buy some stuff? At the shop?Copy !req
35. What are you doing? He's your son.Copy !req
36. I'm sorry, little guy.Copy !req
37. From now on, I'll always be there for you.Copy !req
38. Darwin, I think he's
ready for his first steps.Copy !req
39. Wait!Copy !req
40. Go ahead.Copy !req
41. Come on. Don't be shy. Come to Daddy.Copy !req
42. Aww.Copy !req
43. He's kind of got my eyes. Don't you think?Copy !req
44. Aah! He's got my top lip, too!Copy !req
45. Dude, it's what babies do.
He's just suckling.Copy !req
46. It's not suckling! It's eating!Copy !req
47. Okay, relax. He's just playing.
He'll come off on his own.Copy !req
48. Okay. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
49. Aah! His teeth are sinking in!Copy !req
50. Okay, that's enough! Bad baby!Copy !req
51. Stop mauling your father
and get back in your jar this insta--Copy !req
52. Aah! He's got my neck!Copy !req
53. I know what it is.Copy !req
54. He must be hungry.Copy !req
55. Okay, so it doesn't like
fruits, vegetables, or cereal.Copy !req
56. But it does like pigeons, rats, raccoons,
seagulls, and the mailman's butt.Copy !req
57. What was all that noise?
What are you two up--Copy !req
58. Aah! What is that thing?Copy !req
59. It's our baby.Copy !req
60. What are you talking about?Copy !req
61. Where did you find it?Copy !req
62. It came out of the microwave.Copy !req
63. Are you sure it didn't come
out of the toilet? It's disgusting.Copy !req
64. They always look a bit
funny when they're just born.Copy !req
65. He's actually very advanced for his age.Copy !req
66. You should have seen
him catch that seagull.Copy !req
67. What? You let that monster out?Copy !req
68. Look, I was trying to be nice here,Copy !req
69. but you better stop insulting our child
or I don't know what I'll do.Copy !req
70. It's not a child! And what
is it doing in my high chair?Copy !req
71. Don't listen to her,
Kenneth. She's just jealous.Copy !req
72. You called it "Kenneth"?Copy !req
73. Baby needs a name.Copy !req
74. Look, like it or not,
you're Kenneth's aunt.Copy !req
75. Now, we're gonna buy more
pigeon traps. You babysit.Copy !req
76. Are you crazy?
Where do you think you're--Copy !req
77. Ugh.Copy !req
78. I guess you're kind of ugly cute.Copy !req
79. What kind of animal are you?Copy !req
80. Wow, those are pretty pointy teeth.Copy !req
81. What the...Copy !req
82. Aah!Copy !req
83. Kenneth, we're home!Copy !req
84. Ah! What a mess.Copy !req
85. Where's Anais?Copy !req
86. Eh, I knew she'd bail.Copy !req
87. Gumball, has Kenneth grown?Copy !req
88. Grown into a troublemaker.
This place is a mess!Copy !req
89. Naughty Kenneth.Copy !req
90. Parcel for the Wattersons.Copy !req
91. Did Kenneth just eat the mailman?Copy !req
92. Uh, no, no, no. That's not possible.Copy !req
93. Not my Kenneth.Copy !req
94. Well, where is he, then?Copy !req
95. What do I know, mailing?Copy !req
96. I'm more worried about Kenneth.Copy !req
97. Does it look to you
like he's gaining weight?Copy !req
98. I'm more worried about his attitude.Copy !req
99. This boy needs discipline.Copy !req
100. I think we need parental advice.Copy !req
101. So, um, we're doing this school project.Copy !req
102. Uh-huh.Copy !req
103. And, uh, we've got to look
after this, gross dog thing.Copy !req
104. I'm with ya.Copy !req
105. And we need your help disciplining it.Copy !req
106. Okay.Copy !req
107. It's pretty simple, kind
of like children, actually.Copy !req
108. The first thing you have to do
is let it know you're the pack leader,Copy !req
109. so you look them in the eyes
and tell them firmly you're the boss.Copy !req
110. Now, you've been a naughty doggy!Copy !req
111. Dad, he's got your finger.Copy !req
112. Well, that's to be expected, son.Copy !req
113. The best thing to do is to remain
calm and reassert your authority.Copy !req
114. Yeah, but it seems to be eating your arm.Copy !req
115. It's just testing its boundaries.Copy !req
116. The worst you can do is give it
attention for negative behavior.Copy !req
117. I have always found that a
positive-reinforcement approachCopy !req
118. is the best way to--Copy !req
119. Dad!Copy !req
120. Kenneth's eaten Dad!Copy !req
121. Probably Anais, too!Copy !req
122. We've got to save them!Copy !req
123. We'll save them later!Copy !req
124. Hey, kids. Sorry I'm late. I--Copy !req
125. Ow! What the?Copy !req
126. Mom, something terrible in the
garden and it became in the microwaveCopy !req
127. and became alive and
swallowed the mailmanCopy !req
128. and Dad and Anais and
wanted to eat us and we out here!Copy !req
129. What?Copy !req
130. What Gumball is trying to say isCopy !req
131. the microwave monster was
nice at first but then it ate everyone!Copy !req
132. It's horrible and it's in the
garden and it's really dangerous!Copy !req
133. We need call the army
to help you can rid them!Copy !req
134. Okay, okay.Copy !req
135. Slow down, boys. Where's your father?Copy !req
136. It turned into a monster,
and now it's coming to get us!Copy !req
137. Oh, for goodness' sake.
It's probably just a raccoon.Copy !req
138. I'll go and check. You stay here.Copy !req
139. No! Don't go outside!Copy !req
140. Richard?Copy !req
141. Where are you?Copy !req
142. What's wrong with the kids?Copy !req
143. They haven't been this scared
since you made them wax your back.Copy !req
144. Richard, you better not
be trying to scare me.Copy !req
145. Huh?Copy !req
146. Oh.Copy !req
147. Aww.Copy !req
148. Richard?Copy !req
149. Richard, stop playing games.Copy !req
150. Richard?Copy !req
151. Mom!Copy !req
152. This is all our fault! It's
because we're bad parents!Copy !req
153. Kenneth has grown up
to be a troubled child.Copy !req
154. A troubled child that eats people!
We've got to do something!Copy !req
155. You're right. No video games for a week.Copy !req
156. Uh... grounded for two weeks?Copy !req
157. Okay. Let's send him to boarding school.Copy !req
158. Stop being so soft!
We have to stop him now!Copy !req
159. What was that? Oh.Copy !req
160. It's an owl.Copy !req
161. What was that? Oh.Copy !req
162. A twig.Copy !req
163. Oh.Copy !req
164. What was that?Copy !req
165. That's my butt cheek quivering with fear.Copy !req
166. Really?Copy !req
167. Yeah. Look.Copy !req
168. Darwin, this is our chance!Copy !req
169. Oof.Copy !req
170. Ow.Copy !req
171. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.Copy !req
172. Are you all right in there?Copy !req
173. Partly digested and a little
cramped, but otherwise fine.Copy !req
174. Just get us out of here, please!Copy !req
175. Dude, we gotta do something.Copy !req
176. I got it!Copy !req
177. Tie the hosepipe around meCopy !req
178. then all I have to do
is dive into his mouth,Copy !req
179. grab everyone, make a human chainCopy !req
180. Uh...Copy !req
181. and when I say "Okay,"
you simply pull us out.Copy !req
182. Got it? Let's go!Copy !req
183. Yeah! Did it! Everybody, hold tight.Copy !req
184. Okay, Gumball, now pull!Copy !req
185. Gotcha!Copy !req
186. Okay, this isn't working.Copy !req
187. Well, think of something else!
Our lives depend on you!Copy !req
188. Uh, I hate to tell you
this but I got nothin'.Copy !req
189. No, no, no! Kenneth,
please don't eat me! Please!Copy !req
190. If you like eating people,
I'll bring you someCopy !req
191. like a good mother.Copy !req
192. And maybe a salad once in a whileCopy !req
193. because you're starting
to get a little bit chubby.Copy !req
194. Here's your package. Have a nice day.Copy !req
195. Gumball!Copy !req
196. Great idea, turning on the hose.Copy !req
197. Oh, it was nothing.Copy !req
198. Just quick thinking, you know?
I work best when I'm under pressure.Copy !req
199. It definitely wasn't an
accident or anything.Copy !req
200. Aww, Kenneth. Look at you now.Copy !req
201. You're as sweet as when you were born.Copy !req
202. Who could imagine he'd turn into such a--Copy !req
203. Aah!Copy !req
204. Dad, no!Copy !req
205. Are you kidding me?
That thing ate me and barfed me!Copy !req
206. I'm gonna end this right now!Copy !req
207. But-but he didn't mean it.Copy !req
208. It's just that we've been bad parents!Copy !req
209. Gumball, that thing
is a man-eating monster!Copy !req
210. Yes, maybe he eats people once
in a while, but maybe, just maybeCopy !req
211. he needs some love and understanding.Copy !req
212. We are responsible for
the future generations.Copy !req
213. We make the children that will
become the world of tomorrow.Copy !req
214. Don't blame Kenneth.Copy !req
215. Blame yourselves, because
you're my parents, too.Copy !req
216. What?Copy !req
217. Look at him. He won't hurt anyone now.Copy !req
218. Doesn't this poor creature
deserve a second chance?Copy !req
219. Okay.Copy !req
220. Trust me, guys.
This time, it'll be different.Copy !req
221. On second thought, we probably
should have listened to Dad.Copy !req
222. When's someone gonna invent
a TV that flicks its own channels?Copy !req
223. Hey, honey. How was work?Copy !req
224. Is dinner ready yet?Copy !req
225. Hey, Mom, Dad, guess what?
I got a B-plus in Home-Ec today!Copy !req
226. Miss Simian said my soufflé was divine.Copy !req
227. Yeah. Yeah, that's very interesting.Copy !req
228. I also learned how to do a cartwheel.
You guys want to see?Copy !req
229. Yeah, yeah. I'm very proud of you, son.Copy !req
230. Huh.Copy !req
231. I also crashed your car on the run
from the police after I robbed a bank.Copy !req
232. Uh-huh. Good for you.Copy !req
233. My leg! It's broken!
I probably need to get it cut off!Copy !req
234. And yet nobody cares.Copy !req
235. What do I have to do
to get noticed in this house?Copy !req
236. What?Copy !req
237. Richard, I think Gumball needs
some attention.Copy !req
238. Maybe you should go and play catch--Copy !req
239. Yeah, yeah, we're all
very proud of you, Nicole.Copy !req
240. Oh!Copy !req
241. What?Copy !req
242. Listen, honey, I'm sorry you've not
been getting enough attention lately.Copy !req
243. I'm going to make it up
to you starting tomorrow.Copy !req
244. Why not now?Copy !req
245. So, uh, Penny, want to
hang out after school?Copy !req
246. I'll show you my cartwheel.Copy !req
247. I've seen it. It's not
as good as it sounds.Copy !req
248. Sorry, Gumball.
It's cheerleader tryouts tonight.Copy !req
249. I've been practicing all year
for this. Another time, though.Copy !req
250. Okay, No problem.Copy !req
251. I love you, Penny.Copy !req
252. What?Copy !req
253. What? Oh, nothing.Copy !req
254. I just said I love peanuts. Yeah, peanuts.Copy !req
255. They taste so good.Copy !req
256. Gumball, I am a peanut.Copy !req
257. That's like me saying I like to eat cats.Copy !req
258. Maybe you should think twice
about the things you say.Copy !req
259. But I did think twice.Copy !req
260. Well, maybe you need to think three times.Copy !req
261. Anyway, see you later.Copy !req
262. Wait! I didn't say, "peanuts"!Copy !req
263. I said, "ponies"! I love ponies!Copy !req
264. They taste of nuts! Oh, whatever.Copy !req
265. Maybe you need to talk
with your mouth shut.Copy !req
266. Is that really the way you talk to girls?Copy !req
267. Mom? What are you doing here?Copy !req
268. Well, you said you wanted more
attention, so I followed you to school.Copy !req
269. But by the looks of it, you
need more than attention.Copy !req
270. You need serious help, little man.Copy !req
271. Aw, Mom, if you're seriously going
to follow us around all day,Copy !req
272. do you really need to hold my hand?Copy !req
273. Yes.Copy !req
274. Yay! Mom's at school!Copy !req
275. And it's not all day. It's all week.Copy !req
276. I took the night shift.Copy !req
277. Hey, Mom, need a diaper for that baby?Copy !req
278. Actually, I am fully potty trained,
so check your facts, all right?Copy !req
279. You know you got them good
when their voices go high.Copy !req
280. Gumball, are you really gonna take that?Copy !req
281. She just owned you.Copy !req
282. What? You got a better idea?Copy !req
283. Well, first of all, drop an octave,Copy !req
284. Then give her a taste of her own medicine.Copy !req
285. Try this.Copy !req
286. Uh, Tina?Copy !req
287. I'd just like to say that
maybe you only bully peopleCopy !req
288. because you're insecure
about your walnut-sized brainCopy !req
289. and the fact that you
smell like a sweaty butcher.Copy !req
290. I'll have you know that
smell is a glandular problem!Copy !req
291. "Glandular."Copy !req
292. Wow. It actually worked.Copy !req
293. Yeah, that was funny.Copy !req
294. But good luck when Tina comes back and
your mom's not around to hold your hand.Copy !req
295. Don't worry, gummy-puss. I'll hold
your hand until college if I have to.Copy !req
296. "Gummy-puss."Copy !req
297. Oh, Mom, stop embarrassing me!Copy !req
298. Oh, it burns!Copy !req
299. My eyes! What was that?Copy !req
300. Uh, I don't know, paint?Copy !req
301. Aah! My hair! What was that?Copy !req
302. Uh, uh... Chlorine from the pool?Copy !req
303. What was that?Copy !req
304. Uh, fertilizer?Copy !req
305. Oh, I guess it's all right, then.Copy !req
306. But that's still two hours of detentionCopy !req
307. for potentially damaging
my beautiful face.Copy !req
308. You really Principal Brown,
you need to be firmer than that.Copy !req
309. Oh, okay.Copy !req
310. Four hours' detention.Copy !req
311. Eight hours?Copy !req
312. Hmm. Good. See you in detention, Watterson.Copy !req
313. Mom, you're not helping.Copy !req
314. The nerds think you look like a
dodeca-dork with your mom at school.Copy !req
315. What does that mean?Copy !req
316. It's a 12-sided dork, honey.Copy !req
317. Mom, you're not helping.Copy !req
318. Mom, you're not helping!Copy !req
319. Come on, honey. Open the
tunnel for the choo-choo train.Copy !req
320. Mom, you're not help--Copy !req
321. Enough!Copy !req
322. The Tina thing was kind of helpful,
but this has gone too far!Copy !req
323. Wait a minute.Copy !req
324. Thanks.Copy !req
325. Now, seriously, I need you
to stop meddling with my life!Copy !req
326. I'm not meddling. I'm helping.Copy !req
327. Helping by meddling.
You're just a big meddler!Copy !req
328. I'm not a meddler. I'm your mother!Copy !req
329. And a meddler.Copy !req
330. Hey! Isn't that the girl you like?Copy !req
331. Mom, no!Copy !req
332. Excuse me, Penny. Have you got a second?Copy !req
333. Sure. But you guys will need to be quick.Copy !req
334. The cheerleader tryouts are about to start.Copy !req
335. Mom, if you love me, please don't do this.Copy !req
336. Oh, come on, gummy-puss. Don't be shy.Copy !req
337. My baby has something to say to you.Copy !req
338. No, I don't.Copy !req
339. He'd like to take you out on a date.Copy !req
340. That's not true.Copy !req
341. He loves you.Copy !req
342. Really?Copy !req
343. No, I don't!Copy !req
344. I don't love Penny, and I never will!Copy !req
345. Gumball!Copy !req
346. Well, thanks for being honest with me.Copy !req
347. No, wait! I meant I'll never love peanuts!Copy !req
348. No! Ponies!Copy !req
349. See what you did? You upset Penny!Copy !req
350. How am I supposed to get her back?Copy !req
351. Well, you know, I could help you with that.Copy !req
352. That's enough! Okay? That's enough!Copy !req
353. I'm my own man now!Copy !req
354. I make my own decisions, and
I don't need you babying me anymo--Copy !req
355. Anymo--Copy !req
356. Thanks.Copy !req
357. Now, just go home, okay?Copy !req
358. Oh, come on.Copy !req
359. We all had a great time.
Didn't we, Darwin?Copy !req
360. To be honest, I've never been
so embarrassed in my entire life!Copy !req
361. Why are you smiling, then?Copy !req
362. Well, at first, I was trying
not to hurt your feelings,Copy !req
363. but now I'm just stuck!Copy !req
364. I beg of you, just get out of my life.Copy !req
365. Okay. I guess I'll just go home, then.Copy !req
366. Mom, you've got to come back!
I made my own decision!Copy !req
367. It was a bad one!
A really, really bad one!Copy !req
368. Oh, thank goodness she's gone.
I'll never smile again.Copy !req
369. Darwin!Copy !req
370. Mom, you're back! Yay!Copy !req
371. Do you know where your brother is?Copy !req
372. In the changing room.Copy !req
373. Thanks.Copy !req
374. Gumball, it's me. Open the door.Copy !req
375. No! No, I won't!Copy !req
376. What happened?Copy !req
377. Oh, it's awful.Copy !req
378. I made a decision on
my own, and it was bad.Copy !req
379. Listen, whatever it is you've done,
you need to come out and face it.Copy !req
380. All right. All right. I'm coming out.Copy !req
381. Oh, you were gonna try and get closer
to Penny by joining her Cheer teamCopy !req
382. but now you feel embarrassed
because you have to wear a skirt.Copy !req
383. What? No!Copy !req
384. I'm gonna beat Penny at her own game so
she'll realize how awesome and manly I amCopy !req
385. and then she'll definitely want to date me.Copy !req
386. Right. So, what's the problem?Copy !req
387. The problem is me!Copy !req
388. What if I'm not as good as the
other girls? What if they laugh at me?Copy !req
389. And this leotard makes me look fat,
so I put this skirt on to hide my butt.Copy !req
390. What exactly do you want me to do, honey?Copy !req
391. Uh, hello? Be there, of course?Copy !req
392. I need emotional support.Copy !req
393. You're my mom. Start acting like it.Copy !req
394. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
395. Tsk-tsk-tskCopy !req
396. Now, Penny, I have to say,
I'm a little disappointed.Copy !req
397. I know.Copy !req
398. It's just I had some emotional
problems this afternoon--Copy !req
399. You leave your emotions at the door!
This is cheerleading, not drama club!Copy !req
400. You better shape up or ship out,
'cause this is the big leagues, sister,Copy !req
401. and right now you're at
the bottom of the barrel!Copy !req
402. Is there anything you'd like to add,
Principal Brown?Copy !req
403. Only that we're making cuts today,
and after that performanceCopy !req
404. someone's going to have to
be pretty bad for it not to be you.Copy !req
405. Am I too late?Copy !req
406. No!Copy !req
407. Mom...Copy !req
408. Well, it's a no for me, Mr. Small.Copy !req
409. It's a no for me, too.Copy !req
410. That's two nos, Gumball.
You're going home.Copy !req
411. Nooo!Copy !req
412. Mom, make them recount the score!Copy !req
413. Make them recount the score!Copy !req
414. Well, zero plus zero equals zero, honey.Copy !req
415. Why is the world so cruel?Copy !req
416. Don't worry. You'll do better next time...Copy !req
417. after a couple of years intense training.Copy !req
418. Oh, Gumball, thank you!Copy !req
419. It was so brave of you to sacrifice
your dignity so I can get on the team.Copy !req
420. I guess that means you do like me.Copy !req
421. Just a little?Copy !req
422. Peanuts....Copy !req
423. Ponies....Copy !req
424. I think that means "yes."Copy !req
425. Mom, you know when I said I wantedCopy !req
426. to be my own man and
make my own decisions?Copy !req
427. Yes.Copy !req
428. Can it just wait for a few years?Copy !req
429. The longer, the better, honey.Copy !req
430. Even when you're 80,
you'll still be my gummy-puss.Copy !req