The Amanda Show 3x5

Directed by

Amanda read Josh's horoscope and Drake got grabbed by sailors, stuffed into a blue garbage can, hickered at, hit with a lamp, and comes out wearing a pink dress. Amanda's opening got bad when her lower body disappeared. There was an advertisment for The Grown-Up Remote. We're back in time for a serious documentary titled ""When Hula Girls Attack"", King Henry VIII stoped by Amanda's Jacuzzi, and there's a sketch that I call ""The Fridgers"". Penelope forced Barney to tell where Amanda wass and if he didn't want to, Penelope will eat his shrimp cocktail Kathy delivered him. Amanda was closing the show when the director told her there was a speck of dirt on the camera. Amanda tried to get it off but she couldn't. Then Drake came along and he tried to get it off and it still wouldn't come off. Then Nancy came and had a hammer and chiesel and tried to get it off. But it wouldn't. And the three of them were crowded around 1 camera. Then Barney came, and asked what they were looking

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. If you don't let me in to meet Amanda,

2. I will simply ask Amanda to come out here to meet me.

3. How will Amanda hear you?

4. With this item.

5. Now, to contact Amanda, I must first power up my machine.

6. Amanda, please!

7. Come out of the building!

8. My name is Pelvey Tate.

9. I'm sad to hear it.

10. All I am...

11. Sorry, I didn't hear you.

12. Look, I bought a new trumpet.

13. Yeah, I see that.

14. Would you want to hear me play it?

15. Sure.

16. Okay, let's see if I can figure this thing out.

17. I don't think Amanda heard you.

18. Then I'll just have to make my voice louder, please.

19. She'll hear this.

20. Amanda!

21. Amanda, please!

22. My name is Penelope Tate.

23. I am your number one fan, please!

24. Come out of the building and make my name Penelope Tate!

25. I still don't think Amanda heard you.

26. Then I'll just have to make this a little louder, won't I?

27. I don't know if you should turn it up that high.

28. I know what I'm doing, please.

29. Amanda!

30. Amanda, please!

31. My name is Penel...

32. Penelope.

33. Don't say a word.

34. My

35. button contains no lint!

36. Guys, tonight is gonna be a great night here on The Amanda Show.

37. True!

38. Yeah, Anyway, we're gonna have a great show tonight and...

39. Abraham Lincoln!

40. Okay, what is going on?

41. Hi, Amanda!

42. Nice to see ya!

43. Thanks, but, what are you guys doing here?

44. Playing on a game show!

45. I so knew that one!

46. I'm sorry, but this isn't a game show.

47. This is... The Amanda Show!

48. Yeah, look, I'm confused because I'm... Disoriented!

49. No, I'm confused because I'm... Tired!

50. No.

51. Stupid!

52. Hey!

53. Food eaten by horses!

54. Okay, that's enough.

55. Stick around, I'll be... Back in a second, can you stop?

56. What he...

57. This bubble gum bites!

58. This licorice is limp!

59. Can't we invent a new candy?

60. One with zing!

61. Something fun!

62. How about something hot?

63. We like super red drops, they're the hottest candy on the planet!

64. How hot are they?

65. I'll show you!

66. Say, kids, can you help me light the barbecue?

67. Who wants meat?

68. Me!

69. Welcome

70. to the Dare Show!

71. The only cable access show where we take your dares!

72. No matter how bad they are!

73. And we do them!

74. Yeah!

75. Okay, I'm Sharon and this is my brother, Toby.

76. Present.

77. All right, let's take our first dare.

78. Boston, Illinois, you're on the Dare Show!

79. Hey there, Sharon.

80. I dare you to eat some of Toby's hair.

81. Not a bad connection, because it sounded like

82. you wanted me to eat some of Toby's hair.

83. Yeah, she can't eat my hair, it's got bugs and junk and grease in it.

84. But I dare you.

85. She said no.

86. Yeah, do I have to rent an airplane and ride it in the sky?

87. Chicken.

88. You wanna repeat that?

89. Chicken.

90. Chicken!

91. Chicken!

92. I ain't gonna do it.

93. Chicken!

94. Bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock!

95. All right, stand up, Toby!

96. Not

97. believe I just did that!

98. How can you not be puking?

99. I don't know!

100. Man.

101. Okay, next caller.

102. San Francisco, Tennessee, you're on the dare show.

103. Next.

104. Yeah, I dare Toby to put on a bra and stuff it with macaroni and cheese.

105. Ain't gonna happen, dude.

106. I'm sorry.

107. I just didn't realize that you were a lawyer!

108. What punk?

109. He's a liar because he won't wear a bra filled with macaroni and cheese?

110. No, he's a liar because he said he'd do any dare.

111. Liar!

112. Look, you can say whatever you want because there is no reason... Liar!

113. Watch this!

114. You just hooked it!

115. Well, help me!

116. Man, I cannot believe I just did that!

117. You look like a noodle-boobed freak!

118. That's exactly how I feel!

119. I know!

120. Okay, next caller.

121. Nashville, Ireland, you're on the dare show.

122. Yeah, I dare Sharon to rub peanut butter all over her head and then press it

123. into a bunch of those little mini marshmallows.

124. Gross!

125. No!

126. She'll have a marshmallow afro.

127. Sorry, caller.

128. Loser.

129. What'd you say?

130. Loser.

131. Loser!

132. Look, dude, no peanut butter's going on my head!

133. Or marshmallows!

134. I'm Sharon and I'm a loser!

135. Because I say I take dares and then I renege!

136. I do not!

137. Stop taunting us!

138. Loser!

139. Give me the peanut butter!

140. Marshmallows!

141. I did that!

142. You look stupider than me!

143. I want to die!

144. I want it for you!

145. Okay, next caller.

146. Minneapolis, Massachusetts, go for the dare show.

147. Kids, have you seen Mommy's Flab Master?

148. What is happening up here?

149. Nothing.

150. What is on your head?

151. And are those...

152. Noodle boobs.

153. The dare show?

154. Again?

155. I have told you two!

156. You are not allowed to ever do that!

157. I dare your mom to lick the camera lens.

158. What?

159. I'm not going to lick that camera lens, it's all dirty!

160. Our mom doesn't have to take your dare!

161. She's a lady.

162. Yeah, a Frady lady.

163. What was that?

164. Frady lady, yeah, you're a Frady lady, that's right!

165. Frady lady, yes!

166. Frady lady!

167. Yeah, does this look like a prank to you?

168. I cannot believe I am doing this!

169. I know!

170. So unsanitary!

171. OK, we're done!

172. Check us out next time on... The Dare Show!

173. Take that!

174. Take that!

175. Yes, I'm going to be your substitute teacher.

176. Now, my name is... Mr. Boat!

177. Why, yes, that's correct.

178. OK, now, let's take... Here!

179. Attendance.

180. Why are you all snickering?

181. At least we're not bickering!

182. Yes.

183. Bless you.

184. Now, why'd you just say... choo!

185. Alright.

186. What is going on in this class?

187. Didn't they tell you?

188. Tell me what?

189. This is a gifted class.

190. Well, yes, I realize you're all very intelligent.

191. We're not just intelligent.

192. We have special powers.

193. Powers?

194. Watch this.

195. Hey,

196. Hey!

197. Let me down!

198. Come on!

199. Bless you.

200. So, y'all have these special powers?

201. I don't like lemons!

202. Because they're sour!

203. What?

204. His gift is super rhyming.

205. Yeah, I do it all the time.

206. E!

207. That's a good one.

208. Well, enough of these shenanigans.

209. You're giving us a pop quiz!

210. If you spill a soda, you have to mop Fizz.

211. Hey, I do my best.

212. While I'm wearing this vest.

213. That hit my chest!

214. Let's move on.

215. I think that's best.

216. Stop it!

217. OK, now, Lisa was right.

218. I am gonna give you a pop quiz.

219. So gross.

220. What?

221. Gross.

222. OK, now, what was that?

223. Richie's a super burper.

224. When I kiss a girl, I slurp her.

225. Alright, now that's it.

226. No more predicting the future, no more doing things with your mind,

227. and no more your super burps.

228. And no more your dumb rhymes.

229. Not even sometimes?

230. You stop that now.

231. Go squeeze a fat cow.

232. One more time, you get detention.

233. OK, I promise I'll pay attention.

234. Alright, that's it.

235. You're out of this class.

236. My dad's gonna kill me!

237. Quiet!

238. Go ahead, stop!

239. Go on, Billy!

240. Do it!

241. So what, what is it now?

242. It's going to eat you.

243. What's gonna eat me?

244. You better get out of here.

245. Here it comes!

246. I just...

247. What was gonna eat her?

248. Nothing, I thought we'd catch an early lunch.

249. OK, come on.

250. Come on, guys, let's go eat.

251. You don't need shoes if you got no feet.

252. Who's there?

253. Cement block.

254. Cement block.

255. I'm gonna get you there with a cement block.

256. That's good.

257. Boys, boys, no jumping on the furniture, please.

258. I thought you said your sister was cool.

259. Yeah, what's her deal?

260. Penelope, you're upsetting my friend.

261. No, I guess I won't win the most popular babysitter of the year.

262. Hello, please.

263. But Penelope... Just eat your pizza.

264. 23 seconds till the Amanda Show's on.

265. Out of my way, please.

266. OK, coming up next, the Amanda Show on Snick.

267. Thank you for this fine show we're about to receive.

268. Please.

269. Hey, I want a hot sauce on my pizza.

270. Yeah, where's the hot sauce?

271. We want hot sauce.

272. The Amanda Show is on.

273. This is not time for young boys to ask for hot sauces, please.

274. I'm telling Mom.

275. Alright, I'll get you your hot sauce.

276. Nobody touch my seat.

277. Hey, turn off the Amanda Show.

278. OK.

279. Ma'am, the Amanda Show rocks.

280. What's funnier than this?

281. Nothing, please.

282. Who's that?

283. I don't know.

284. Amanda, hi.

285. Amanda!

286. What are you doing here, please?

287. Well, I'm on my way to a party and my driver got lost.

288. Yeah, is this Green Meadow Drive?

289. No, this is Green Meadow Road.

290. Green Meadow Drive is four streets over that way.

291. OK, thanks.

292. Hey, how could you be here when your show's on?

293. That's a rerun.

294. We'll have a new show on next week.

295. Cool.

296. Hey, can we get some autographed pictures of you?

297. Sure you can.

298. Hot or extra hot sauce?

299. Extra hot.

300. Fine, please.

301. There you go.

302. Thanks a lot, Amanda.

303. No problem.

304. Wait, could you stay and meet my sister, Penelope?

305. I'd love to, but I'm already really late for this party.

306. OK, alright.

307. Bye, you guys.

308. Bye!

309. Nice to meet you.

310. Here, please.

311. Now, no more talking till the Amanda Show's over.

312. Got it.

313. Where'd you get this autographed picture of Amanda?

314. She was just here.

315. What?

316. That's the ring the bell.

317. She was lost, so I told her where to go.

318. Where?

319. Green Meadow Drive.

320. That's only four streets from here.

321. No, I'll be back, please.

322. Amanda, wait!

323. I'm your number one!

324. Yo, yo, yo.

325. It's Amanda's Jacuzzi.

326. Hi, welcome to my jacuzzi.

327. Today, my special guest is Her Royal Highness, Queen of England.

328. So, Queen, I understand that you're the ruler of all England?

329. This is correct.

330. I rule over all of England.

331. And you come from a long line of British royalty?

332. Indubitably.

333. And is it also true that your best friend is a chicken nugget?

334. No, I don't associate with nuggets.

335. I see.

336. Well, have it a plate of spaghetti.

337. It would please me.

338. That was Amanda's Jacuzzi.

339. Yo, yo, yo.

340. Bye-bye!

341. one time, I was, like, chewing gum.

342. And it, like, lost all its flavor.

343. So, I took it out of my mouth and, like, threw it in the trash.

344. Then later, I was walking to school, and my bud Lafe was all, dude,

345. you got gum on your shoe.

346. So, I, like, looked down, and I, like, did have gum on my shoe.

347. Sticky.

348. That was Totally Kyle.

349. Totally.

350. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

351. Good, thank you.

352. Thanks, you guys.

353. Alright, I had fun tonight.

354. How about you guys?

355. Good, good.

356. Alright, we're almost out of time.

357. Not again.

358. Hi, Amanda.

359. Still here?

360. Yeah, I thought I told you guys this isn't a game show.

361. False.

362. Look, this is really starting to get annoying.

363. No.

364. On your nerves.

365. Yes.

366. Now, can you guys please let me do my closing joke so I can end the show?

367. OK, we're out of time.

368. I gotta go... Kiss a kangaroo.

369. No.

370. Skateboard down a nectarine.

371. Wrestle with a rabbi.

372. Guys.

373. Sniff a burrito.

374. Wrong.

375. Milk a pineapple.

376. No.

377. Alright, that's our show.

378. I gotta go overthrow Canada.

379. True.

380. See ya.

381. I swear we're number 81.

382. Acapulco.

383. Chainsaw.

384. What's this?

385. Pants.

386. Amanda, please.