1. Okay, come on, Drake, come on,
keep it up, keep it up.
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2. Come on, come on, you can do it, kid.
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3. How much time?
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4. You've been going, let's see, for six
days, three hours, twelve minutes!
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5. Hey, hey, hey,
three more minutes and you're
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6. gonna break the turkey
balancing world record!
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7. I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it!
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8. Yeah, you got it, you got it!
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9. Edge, edge, edge!
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10. Where, where, where?
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11. Left armpit, left armpit!
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12. Thanks, Barney.
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13. Only two more minutes and
you have the world record!
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14. That's it, that's it, you can do it!
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15. Come on, Drake!
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16. I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it!
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17. You can do it, you're almost there,
you're almost there!
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18. You just got a couple
seconds more to do it!
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19. Pardon me, Blake.
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20. Drake.
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21. Don't care.
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22. My name is Palpatine,
I'm Amanda's number one fan, please.
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23. Can't you see I'm busy?
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24. I'm trying to set a world record here.
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25. You're wasting my life, and yours.
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26. Where's Amanda, please?
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27. You know what?
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28. I'm not gonna tell you where
Amanda is, how about that?
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29. Then you force me to tickle you.
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30. Okay, okay, okay,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
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31. Okay, Amanda's in make-up, getting
ready, getting ready for her next scene.
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32. How long will she be there?
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33. Probably for about
another five minutes.
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34. Why don't, why don't you just,
just take it?
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35. Don't
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36. you believe what you're about to see.
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37. Everybody, say hello to George W.
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38. Bush!
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39. Hey!
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40. How you doing, Amanda?
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41. Great, thank you so much
for coming on the show.
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42. Glad to, glad to, I'm a great
fan of the show, I just love it.
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43. Hold everything!
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44. This election is not over.
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45. I demand a recount.
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46. Man, give it up, Gore!
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47. I will not give up.
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48. Look, look,
I found some more, ballots.
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49. Let me see those.
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50. What, what, those aren't ballots.
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51. Those are tickets to the Amanda show.
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52. Right, yeah, see, see, I was confused.
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53. Very confusing.
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54. And they need to be counted.
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55. I demand a recount.
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56. You're gonna demand
my fist in a minute.
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57. Bring it on, Daddy's boy.
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58. Hey, you guys.
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59. Okay, he started it.
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60. Nimrod.
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61. Robot.
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62. Okay, got it.
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63. Now, you both want to be president,
right?
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64. Yeah.
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65. It's all I've got.
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66. All right,
let's see if we can figure out a
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67. way to decide who really
wins once and for all.
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68. Recount.
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69. Shut it.
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70. Hey, Amanda!
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71. Yeah?
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72. I know how we can decide
who should be president.
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73. How?
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74. Whoever can eat the most
worms in 30 seconds wins.
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75. Okay, so whoever eats the most
worms gets to be president.
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76. Ready?
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77. Go!
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78. Let's go!
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79. Eat the worms!
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80. Show me something!
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81. Time's running out!
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82. Chew, chew, chew!
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83. Andy ate worms, and Gore with 892.
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84. And the winner is George W.
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85. Bush.
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86. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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87. I ate more worms.
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88. I demand a recount.
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89. Face it.
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90. Gore, you lose.
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91. But my worms were very confusing.
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92. Look, look.
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93. See this worm?
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94. It's half-chewed.
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95. I clearly intended to eat it,
so it should be counted.
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96. Give it up, Gore.
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97. I got more votes,
and I ate more worms.
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98. I hate you.
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99. Back at you.
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100. Amanda, why don't we just
let him fight it out?
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101. Yeah!
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102. These guys want to be
president of the United States.
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103. You can't really decide
over a fist fight.
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104. Now, I agree with Amanda.
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105. Now, what we need is a
fair and accurate recount.
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106. Yeah, you want to face me?
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107. Yeah!
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108. Who wants a snack?
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109. You mean like ice cream?
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110. Or candy?
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111. Or tuna?
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112. Forget those snacks.
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113. You hurt my body.
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114. Who wants a trash cone?
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115. Trash cones?
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116. Gimme!
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117. Now what do we do?
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118. You just get some trash.
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119. Then you pour it in the top.
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120. It's a snack made from trash!
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121. Trash cones!
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122. A snack made from trash!
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123. Who knew garbage could taste so good?
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124. Make the voices stop!
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125. Trash cones!
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126. Trash cones!
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127. Trash cones!
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128. Why throw away your garbage
when you can eat it?
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129. Make all his intestinal bleeding.
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130. And welcome to the girls' room.
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131. Okay, my name is Amber.
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132. Can I be more popular?
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133. I'm Sheila.
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134. I'm easily agitated.
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135. I'm Tammy.
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136. You might know me as an
exchange student from Tennessee.
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137. I forgot to breathe.
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138. Her name is Debbie.
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139. I like eggs.
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140. For the love of pork barbecue,
can we please move on?
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141. Okay, now today is like a
super exciting day in the
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142. girls' room because we're having a...
Talent Contest!
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143. Okay, now our first
contestant is Dustin Puddin.
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144. Hi Dustin, and welcome to...
The girls' room!
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145. Okay, what's your talent?
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146. I am a magician.
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147. What instrument do you play?
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148. Magician!
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149. What instrument do you play?
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150. Dustin, just do a magic trick already.
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151. I will make a cake appear in this hat.
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152. First, the cake mix.
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153. Then, some milk.
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154. And eggs.
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155. Girls, please rate this
horrible magician's talent.
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156. Why did you give him a ten?
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157. Two words.
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158. I like eggs.
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159. Sheila, my favorite part.
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160. Next
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161. contestant is our school
cafeteria lady, Miss Shapen.
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162. Hello, girls.
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163. Okay, now what's your talent?
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164. I will perform an interpretive dance.
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165. I call this dance...
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166. Melon.
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167. Music.
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168. Melon, melon.
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169. I got a melon, baby.
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170. Melon.
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171. Melon.
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172. Melon, be so lonely.
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173. We need a friend.
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174. Hey, Mr. Pineapple.
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175. Won't you meet my melon?
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176. Stop it!
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177. Girls, scores.
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178. I got no time for that.
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179. Did I win?
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180. Next
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181. contestant is Kyle Rustinson.
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182. What's up, dudes?
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183. Okay, what's your talent, Kyle?
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184. I can, like, tell a story.
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185. Okay, fine, tell a story.
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186. Okay, one time, I was, like,
taking a shower with my cat.
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187. Then my stomach was all growly,
growly because I
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188. was hungry, but we were all out of,
like, cereal.
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189. So I just sucked on a spoon.
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190. Girls, scores.
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191. Zero.
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192. Zero.
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193. Zero.
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194. Ten.
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195. Ten?
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196. I like eggs.
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197. Who doesn't?
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198. Amber, now.
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199. Do it!
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200. I've never gotten to flush anyone's
head before, so can I do it?
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201. Fine, you flush him.
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202. Okay, let's go, buddy.
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203. That boy's head
deserves to be flushed.
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204. Slowly.
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205. All right.
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206. Going on in there.
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207. Totally.
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208. Where?
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209. I'm shocked.
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210. I'm from Tennessee.
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211. I'm in love.
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212. What do you want?
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213. I'm Miss Hamrack,
your new piano teacher.
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214. My name's Courtney.
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215. Hello, Courtney.
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216. Why don't we go to the piano?
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217. Shall we begin?
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218. Courtney, what are you doing?
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219. But girls can't fly.
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220. Ma!
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221. All right.
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222. Now, when playing the piano, the first
thing to keep in mind is your posture.
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223. You must sit up straight and...
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224. Courtney?
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225. Courtney?
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226. Ma!
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227. Please come out of there!
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228. Ma!
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229. Yes.
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230. You must always keep your wrists high,
back erect, feet flat on the floor...
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231. Courtney?
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232. Why are you holding my tongue?
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233. It's wet and shiny.
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234. Thank you.
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235. And your wrists high, back straight...
No!
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236. Ma!
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237. Let's try a simple tune.
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238. With your left hand, play these notes.
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239. Courtney,
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240. you need to concentrate.
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241. Can you do that?
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242. Ma!
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243. Okay.
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244. So, with your left hand,
play these notes.
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245. Isn't this pretty?
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246. And I have...
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247. What on earth are you doing?
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248. Shave.
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249. I don't want to be shaved!
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250. Ma!
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251. If you'll please pay attention.
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252. Just imitate what I'm doing.
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253. What are you pouring on my head?
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254. Soy sauce.
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255. My head does not need
Asiatic flavor enhancement!
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256. Ma!
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257. I am trying to teach you how
to play the piano like this!
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258. My shirt!
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259. Shoo!
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260. I'm leaving!
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261. Enjoy life without music!
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262. Ma!
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263. Ma-yourself!
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264. Ma!
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265. Ma!
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266. Ma!
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267. Ma!
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268. Man, how funny is this movie?
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269. Here comes the part
where his leg snaps!
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270. What's wrong with the TV?
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271. I don't know.
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272. Hello, persons!
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273. My.
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274. Who is that?
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275. You don't want to know.
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276. My name is Penelope Tate.
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277. I'm Amanda's number one fan, please.
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278. Hello, Flake.
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279. Who's Flake?
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280. That's me.
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281. What happened to the
movie we were watching?
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282. How did you get onto my TV?
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283. I intercepted the satellite
transmission, please!
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284. You intercepted the satellite...
Stop speaking!
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285. View my website, www.amandaplease.com.
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286. Here's the home page.
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287. If you click here, you can see almost
actual photos of me with Amanda.
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288. Here's how it might look if
Amanda touched my shoulder.
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289. I would tingle for weeks, please.
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290. Here's what I'd look like
with the hillbillies.
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291. I wish Amanda would hit me
over the head with an item.
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292. Here's how Amanda and I would
look next to a muddy pig.
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293. Oink, please!
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294. That was my excellent website.
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295. Now, where's Amanda?
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296. I'm not going to tell you where Amanda
is, and I'll put my movie back on.
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297. No.
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298. Fine.
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299. Then I'll just turn you off.
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300. Not if I turn you off first, please.
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301. Right.
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302. How are you going to... Sayonara!
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303. www.amandaplease.com.
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304. That freaky chick turned off Drake!
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305. What should we do?
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306. Let's eat a sandwich.
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307. Cool.
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308. Yo, yo, yo.
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309. It's Amanda's Jacuzzi.
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310. Hi, welcome to my jacuzzi.
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311. Today my special guest is Santa Claus.
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312. Hi.
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313. So you're the one and
only actual Santa Claus.
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314. Yes, I am.
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315. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
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316. And you live in the North Pole?
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317. Yes, I do.
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318. That's where the elves and I
make toys for the children.
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319. I see.
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320. And is it true that your wife took a
trip to Las Vegas and never came back?
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321. No.
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322. Yes.
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323. I see.
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324. Well, how about a plate of spaghetti?
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325. Give me!
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326. That was Amanda's Jacuzzi.
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327. Yo, yo, yo.
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328. Bye-bye.
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329. All right, cool.
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330. I'm not...
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331. I'm not having fun.
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332. Well, why not?
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333. Because... I can't dance.
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334. Well, I... T-shirt Red Dad!
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335. Yes!
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336. Okay, what's your name?
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337. Greg.
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338. Hi, Greg.
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339. Okay, now,
put your arm around my waist, take
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340. my other hand like this,
and follow my lead.
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341. Like this?
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342. Yeah.
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343. Okay, music.
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344. Step to the right, step to the left.
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345. Great.
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346. Forget it.
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347. I'm just a hopeless freak.
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348. No, you're not hopeless.
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349. Look, all you have to do is bend your
knees, pirouette, chasse, do a chabot to
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350. your left, port salu, and finish
with a twisting half bianco.
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351. That's easy.
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352. I know.
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353. Do you want to try?
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354. Why not?
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355. Okay.
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356. Hey, now do you think you can teach me
how to put a human brain into a robot?
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357. Sure, I gotta teach this
guy how to do brain surgery.
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358. See ya!
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359. Amanda, please.
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