The Amanda Show 2x3

Directed by

Today, Amanda has a cold. Penelope turns up and starts stealing Amanda's germs, but gets caught by security! Meanwhile, Amanda helps an audience member find their lost paper clip. It's so fascinating we have to go to a commercial for the always-popular ""Allowance Doubler"" - then it's back to the show, and the members of The Girls Room are trying out for new members. Plus, Amanda holds a talk show from her jacuzzi, gets a visit from Tony Pajamas the babysitter, tells some knock knock jokes in another Hillbilly Moment, Kyle has a shower moment, there's a small problem with the telephone, and more suggestions from the audience about how to cure Amanda's cold.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Locked.

2. Hang on, I gotta take this to Amanda.

3. Person, please!

4. I hate these things.

5. Hi.

6. Hey, I got the stuff.

7. Great, come on in.

8. I can hear Amanda's actual voice, please!

9. Any temperature?

10. A little bit.

11. Amanda has a fever!

12. Please, let her be okay, please!

13. Just 99, you're fine to do the show.

14. Good.

15. Good.

16. Can I have your tissue?

17. Sure.

18. Thanks.

19. Okay, let's see here.

20. I got you aspirin, vitamin C, and orange juice.

21. Thanks.

22. Sorry, I've been blowing my nose all day.

23. It's okay, I'm fine with mucus.

24. What?

25. Amanda has mucus!

26. I must get my hands on it, please!

27. Hey, we better get going to make up.

28. The show's about to start.

29. Okay.

30. Let's hit it.

31. My!

32. Amanda's actual dressing room, please!

33. Be calm, Penelope.

34. Amanda's thermometer!

35. The thermometer was under Amanda's actual tongue!

36. Please!

37. Amanda's garbage can, filled with Amanda's actual used tissues!

38. Thank you.

39. Amanda's half-consumed juice beverage!

40. I will use these germy items to catch Amanda's actual cold, please!

41. Hey, you don't have permission to be in Amanda's dressing room!

42. Didn't ask for it.

43. Come on, you're coming with me!

44. I beg to differ!

45. 18 essential vitamins and minerals!

46. Man!

47. Something wrong?

48. Yes, there's something wrong!

49. I lost my paper clip!

50. Is this a big problem?

51. Yeah.

52. Look at this.

53. I've got these two pieces of paper.

54. And now there's nothing to keep them together!

55. I can't live like this!

56. Can we wait and deal with this, like, after the show?

57. I don't think so.

58. Okay, where did you lose your paper clip?

59. I don't know.

60. Outside somewhere.

61. Okay, well, let's go take a look.

62. Wait here, be right back.

63. Pardon me, sister.

64. Yes, my child.

65. Well, this kid lost a paper clip.

66. No!

67. Yes, would you by any chance have a metal detector on you?

68. No.

69. Wait.

70. Yes.

71. I-I love your show!

72. Okay, let's turn this baby on.

73. Hurry!

74. Peggy, I found something made of metal!

75. Dig, woman!

76. Dig!

77. Darn, I don't have a shovel.

78. Peggy,

79. I got something!

80. Well, no, it's not your paper clip, but it's a golden diamond watch.

81. I want my paper clip!

82. I understand.

83. I

84. found something else made of metal.

85. Peggy, it's my paper clip!

86. Dig!

87. I got something!

88. What the... You're not my paper clip at all!

89. How dare you dig me up!

90. Now you will taste my wrath!

91. Do your worst!

92. No!

93. Paper clip!

94. I'll give you 20 bucks for it.

95. All right.

96. Katie, here's your allowance.

97. You only get $10 a week?

98. How lame.

99. Nuh!

100. With this $10, I get all the money I need!

101. How?

102. With this!

103. It's the allowance doubler!

104. How does it work?

105. You put the money in this slot, press the button and look!

106. A dollar bill?

107. Sure!

108. How about a hundred?

109. Why not?

110. Ten, 20, 100!

111. What are we gonna buy with all this money?

112. I know!

113. How'd you guys buy that?

114. With our allowance!

115. The allowance doubler!

116. It'll make you rich, which'll make you popular, which'll make you happy!

117. Yeah!

118. And I'm ridiculously popular.

119. My name's Sheila.

120. Do not upset me.

121. My name's Tammy.

122. I'm an exchange student from Tennessee.

123. That girl looks just like me!

124. Debbie, that is you.

125. That's your reflection.

126. I like eggs.

127. For the love of banjos, can we please get this show on the road?

128. OK.

129. Now today is like super exciting because we might add a new girl on the show.

130. So let's start the tryouts on... The Girls' Room!

131. OK, now the first girl trying out is... Lauren Thomas.

132. We

133. give you a topic and you talk about it, OK?

134. OK, Sheila, her topic.

135. Amber is the most popular girl in school.

136. Please talk about why, Amber, it's so popular.

137. OK...

138. Who's Amber?

139. Girls.

140. Wait

141. a minute, I didn't even get a chance!

142. Wait, wait a minute, what are you doing?

143. What are you doing?

144. Wait, this is so unfair!

145. No!

146. Unbelievable!

147. OK, now the next girl trying out is... Terri Garner.

148. That's what I do.

149. You push out.

150. OK, Tammy, Terri's topic for discussion.

151. What is your favorite thing to do and why?

152. I really enjoy chemistry.

153. You know, in fact, I really love chemistry, not only because...

154. I know, like, so popular.

155. Everybody loves me.

156. I can pop you, look.

157. Man, if I was in Tennessee right now, I'd be eating fried cheese on a stick.

158. What a nerd.

159. I know I'm gonna flush that girl's head.

160. I like eggs.

161. That's why I enjoy chemistry.

162. But, you know, I also really like math.

163. Please stop talking.

164. Do I get to be on your show now?

165. Girls.

166. Sheila, I thought you'd never ask.

167. You know what, I don't even care because my grades are higher than yours.

168. And I'm not gonna help you guys study for the SATs.

169. I'm not... Be careful of my glasses!

170. Bye, Chava.

171. Okay, now the next girl trying out is... Penny Nichol.

172. I'm so excited.

173. I've always wanted to be on the girls' room.

174. This is like a dream come true.

175. Do you have medical problems?

176. Yes.

177. Yes, I do.

178. Debbie, you wanna give Penny her topic?

179. Yeah.

180. If you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring one item,

181. what would you thumb?

182. Pardon?

183. What would you thumb?

184. What would I thumb?

185. That's what it says.

186. Debbie, that's your thumb.

187. What would you bring?

188. That's easy.

189. I bring my prettiest bra.

190. It hooks in the front.

191. And I bring my special medications.

192. Sorry, but you can only bring one item.

193. But... but that's hard.

194. Bra or medications?

195. Pick one before I become enraged.

196. She scares me!

197. May I?

198. Enjoy yourself.

199. Okay, that's all the time we have for today.

200. Until next time, I'm popular!

201. I'm from Tennessee!

202. I'm busy!

203. I'm in danger!

204. Whee!

205. Yo, it's Amanda's Jacuzzi.

206. Hi, welcome to my jacuzzi.

207. Today, my special guest is Babe Ruth.

208. Is there actually a Babe Ruth, the baseball hero?

209. Yep, the one and only Babe Ruth.

210. And that's what we're gonna do today.

211. Supposedly, you hit a bunch of home runs or something like that?

212. Yep, I hit 714 home runs.

213. Very impressive.

214. Now, is it also true that if you spell your name backwards, it reads,

215. look at me, I'm the purple sandwich monster?

216. No, I don't think it does.

217. I see.

218. Well, how about a plate of spaghetti?

219. I love spaghetti.

220. That was Amanda's Jacuzzi.

221. Yo, yo, yo.

222. You heard me, babe.

223. I'm gonna have a drink of tea while you're up there.

224. Bye!

225. I can't sleep.

226. Jessica!

227. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's with all the commotion?

228. I'm not my babysitter.

229. Where's Jessica?

230. Yeah, Jessica had a... leave.

231. Why?

232. Look, I loaned her three dollars last week and she ain't paid me back.

233. Well, where is she?

234. Forget about it.

235. Okay, then who are you?

236. Pony Pajamas, what's your problem, pigtails?

237. Yeah, what's your problem, pigtails?

238. I can't sleep.

239. You want I should put her out?

240. Not yet.

241. Hey, Gnoli?

242. No, I just want to hear her bedtime story.

243. She just wants to hear her bedtime story.

244. Hey, I got ears.

245. He's got ears.

246. I heard him.

247. So what kind of story you want I should tell you?

248. Well, I like this one about the happy pony.

249. And this one's about three little elves.

250. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

251. Look, I ain't going to read you any of these books, see?

252. But I will tell you a bedtime story.

253. Okay, Mr. Pajamas.

254. Pajamas.

255. I just want to hear a bedtime story.

256. All right.

257. What should I tell her?

258. Tell her about the time you got a leg wound.

259. Yeah, that's a good one.

260. Leg wound?

261. Let him tell it.

262. So I'm riding my bike one time, right?

263. And I got to take a turn on the King's Highway, and

264. bam, I hit a puddle the size of his grandmother.

265. I got a big grandmother.

266. Huge.

267. So anyway, I fall off my bike and the kickstand goes right through my leg.

268. You're telling me?

269. There was blood and guts coming out of my ankle.

270. You want to see the scar?

271. Show her the scar.

272. I don't want to see the scar.

273. I don't like this story.

274. She don't like the story.

275. Hey, I got ears.

276. He's got ears.

277. What's that for?

278. For being an idiot.

279. Okay.

280. What happened to Jessica?

281. Forget about it.

282. I'll tell you another story.

283. Hey, you tell her about the time you took care of that librarian.

284. Yeah.

285. So this other time, I'm at the library, right?

286. And this librarian lady starts shushing me.

287. Shush, shush, shush.

288. I became aggravated.

289. It was irritating, too.

290. So, what happened?

291. He stuck the librarian in my lunchbox.

292. Hey, I'm telling the story.

293. You can't fit a lady in a lunchbox.

294. I took the sandwich out.

295. Hey, what happened to that sandwich?

296. What's that for?

297. Do you know any nice stories about unicorns or pretty puppets or rainbows?

298. Unicorns and puppets?

299. Let's see.

300. Okay.

301. Once upon a time, there was a unicorn.

302. And he owed this puppet $100.

303. The unicorn didn't have the money, so, The puppet pushed him out the window.

304. That's the story?

305. Yeah.

306. And there was a rainbow.

307. The end.

308. I love that story!

309. Tony!

310. It's the Al Dente Brothers!

311. They got eggs!

312. Get away from the window!

313. Yolk everywhere.

314. My...

315. I'll do it.

316. She's huge.

317. Come on, let's get out of here.

318. Leave Pauly, take the cannoli.

319. Wait, you're leaving him here?

320. Hey, somebody's got to babysit Champ big days.

321. Bye, Mr. Pajamas.

322. Pajamas!

323. What do we do now?

324. You want to tell me the story about the happy pony?

325. Okay.

326. Once upon a time, there was a happy little pony.

327. Did he have a sandwich?

328. What's that for?

329. For being an idiot.

330. Okay.

331. It's time for a hillbilly moment!

332. Hi-hi!

333. Knock-knock!

334. Who's there?

335. Fire extinguisher!

336. Fire extinguisher?

337. I'm gonna hit you in the head with a fire extinguisher!

338. Bless you.

339. Bless me is right!

340. I caught Amanda's cold!

341. What?

342. Amanda has a cold, and now because I've partaken

343. of her sweet germs, I have it too, please!

344. Choo!

345. Come with me, I'm gonna get you some medicine to get rid of that cold.

346. Are you mad, sir?

347. Amanda's sweet virus dwells within me, and I will do

348. nothing to get rid of it or upset it in any manner!

349. Choo!

350. But you're sick!

351. Yes, dreams can come true!

352. You have to go to the doctor.

353. Not today, mister!

354. Choo!

355. God bless me!

356. Please!

357. one time, I was, like, lying in bed, looking at, you know, nothing, and then.

358. this spider, like, was... was, like, hanging

359. above my head, and I was all... Spider!

360. So I blew on it...

361. then the spider, like, fell on my face, and I was all, spider!

362. And the spider was all...

363. Kyle!

364. And I was all, spider!

365. Then, like...

366. Spider.

367. That was totally Kyle!

368. Totally!

369. All children should be arrested for childrenocity!

370. Can't...

371. Hold the phone!

372. Hello?

373. Hi, who's calling?

374. You are!

375. Hello?

376. Yes, this is your doctor.

377. Doctor?

378. Yes, Dr. Faminumina.

379. But I don't have any Dr. Famididubididibur!

380. I have the results of your clam test.

381. Clam test?

382. I don't recall being tested for the clams!

383. You have a bad case of the clams, sir.

384. No, you have the wrong... What's wrong with my clams?

385. They're infected, sir.

386. My clams are infected?

387. Yes, there's only one way to cure your clam.

388. Well, tell me, what do I have to do?

389. Tickle yourself!

390. But I don't want to tick...

391. I'm doing it!

392. Alright, I'm done tickling myself.

393. Are my clams gone?

394. Not yet.

395. Now you have to say, in a very high voice.

396. But I don't want to...

397. Am I done with the wooing?

398. Hello?

399. I'm sorry.

400. Hey, Amanda.

401. Yeah?

402. My mom knows a cure that can get rid of that cold.

403. Really?

404. Tell me what to do.

405. Okay, first you gotta hold your breath and drink one gallon of pineapple juice.

406. Okay.

407. Okay, now what?

408. Now you gotta put on a sombrero.

409. Okay.

410. Now you gotta eat a live goat.

411. I have to eat a live goat?

412. May I salt the goat?

413. Sure.

414. Okay.

415. Wait, wait, wait!

416. Yeah?

417. I'm sorry.

418. Actually, I just remembered.

419. That's the cure for chicken pox.

420. I'm an idiot.

421. That's okay.

422. Can I have the goat?

423. Okay, sure.

424. Okay, well, that's our show.

425. I gotta go drain my sinuses.

426. Hold, Amanda!

427. We share the same virus!

428. Your sweet germs dwell within me!

429. Amanda, please!