The Amanda Show 2x17

Directed by Ken Whittingham

Amanda is taking a nap today, so Josh and Drake do the audience greeting instead but the audience only want Amanda! There's time for a commercial message from Ham, the great new toy for boys and girls! Plus, Blockblister rents another high quality movie to an unsuspecting customer. Today, it's the F Men! We cross to the basement of Roberta and Toby for an edition of The Dare Show', there's another Hillbilly Moment featuring a pink toilet, and Kyle describes a dream he had about breakfast

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Amanda?

2. Amanda, the show's about to start.

3. Amanda?

4. Hey, what's going on?

5. She's asleep, but the show's about to start.

6. I know, help me wake her up.

7. Wait a second, this is our chance.

8. To what?

9. To start the show, you and me.

10. I don't know.

11. I mean, Amanda's really the only one who knows how to do it.

12. Come on, how hard can it be?

13. You run out there, you wiggle around a little, you

14. tell a little joke or something, and everybody claps.

15. Let's do it.

16. You hurt my heart.

17. And five, four, three, two...

18. Hi!

19. Welcome to the Amanda Show!

20. Yeah!

21. This was a bad idea.

22. What do we do now?

23. I don't know.

24. Hey, you!

25. Yeah?

26. Hiya!

27. What can we do for you?

28. You clowns aren't Amanda!

29. Well, no.

30. We thought you were gonna open the show.

31. Fun for who?

32. They're trying to take over Amanda's show!

33. Let's get her!

34. Amanda, thank you.

35. Don't let us go!

36. Okay, guys, why didn't you wake me up when you were supposed to?

37. Well, Well, you see, what we were doing was...

38. They tried to take over your show!

39. It was horrible!

40. It was horrible!

41. Guys, is this true?

42. Well, see, we didn't try to take over your show exactly.

43. What we were trying... We just thought, you know, we could see if we could...

44. If we could handle it.

45. Well, you couldn't!

46. It was horrible!

47. Guys, look.

48. Look, guys, I appreciate your thirst for vengeance, but these guys are actors.

49. You can't just beat them up here on stage.

50. If you want to beat them up, take it outside.

51. I'll be back in a second to do stuff!

52. Woohoo!

53. Only the coolest new toy ever!

54. It's Ham!

55. Play Pasta Ham!

56. Woohoo!

57. Make Ham walk down stairs!

58. Have a Ham puppet show!

59. Scare your stepmom!

60. Ham tickle children!

61. Ham!

62. I love you, Ham!

63. It's Hortastic!

64. From the makers of Chili!

65. You

66. got a problem here?

67. Yaga, welcome to our video store.

68. How might we be helping you?

69. What the heck is this movie you rented me?

70. I asked for Stuart Little.

71. No, no, no, no.

72. You no asked for Stuart Little.

73. You asked for Stuart Lipple!

74. Lipple?

75. What the heck's a lipple?

76. This movie better!

77. Much better!

78. Just look at this tape.

79. Yaga!

80. I am so lonesome.

81. No, it's Demi.

82. Hello!

83. You are Mouse Stuart Lipple?

84. Yes, mouse that says things.

85. I am cute.

86. So cute.

87. I would love you, mouse, as my little brother.

88. Who happens to be a mouse.

89. What a wonderful Stuart Lipple!

90. That wasn't even a movie!

91. That was just you two acting like morons!

92. Thank you!

93. How you'll be paying me?

94. I ain't gonna pay you.

95. Egg?

96. This time, your egg!

97. Next time, your face!

98. That boy, he squeezed our egg!

99. Yes, but next time, he will squeeze our faces!

100. Yaga!

101. Yaga!

102. Welcome to our video store!

103. How may I help you?

104. Who's in charge of this place?

105. Papa, this man, he bellows for you!

106. I am Yoki Bloki, the manager.

107. How am I to be helping you?

108. No!

109. What is your problem to be?

110. My problem to be is I came into this... this place to rent X-Men.

111. But I didn't get X-Men, did I?

112. No!

113. No, no, no, no, you don't ask for X-Men, you ask for F-Men!

114. I despise this movie!

115. This movie, the things!

116. Yah!

117. But this movie better, much better!

118. It made my eyes bleed!

119. Here, I will play F-Men for you.

120. Whoopsie good!

121. Hairy mutant, you better be nice, or I will scratch you with my sharp claws.

122. Grr!

123. Hey there, I am the Psycho Klops.

124. I can send beams from my eyeballs.

125. Stand back, I am a bad person.

126. I will do a bad thing now.

127. Watch out for my claws.

128. And my eyeballs.

129. Fuck!

130. Okay, here's a little query.

131. What was that?

132. That was my daughter, Blini, and my son, Biscotti.

133. Yeah, girl!

134. Yeah, girl!

135. How you'll be paying me?

136. How I'll be paying you?

137. Keep the change!

138. Papa, this man, he give us his arm.

139. What it means?

140. I think it means, he crazy.

141. Then let us dive.

142. Yeah, yeah!

143. Welcome

144. to the Dare Show.

145. The only cable access show where we take your dares.

146. No matter how bad they are.

147. And we do them.

148. Your dares.

149. I'm Sharon, and this is my brother, Toby.

150. Hiya.

151. Well, let's start with our first dare.

152. Barcelona, Alabama.

153. You're on the Dare Show.

154. Hi, Sharon.

155. I dare you to brush your teeth with your brother's big toe.

156. No way!

157. His toes are disgusting.

158. No kidding.

159. My toenail has fungus on it.

160. I'm not gonna brush my teeth with your toe.

161. His toe.

162. But I dare you.

163. Right.

164. Wimpy.

165. What was that?

166. Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy, wimpy, wimpy.

167. I am so not wimpy.

168. Wimpy!

169. Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy, wimpy.

170. That's the worst thing I've ever seen anyone do.

171. Your foot tastes like vomit.

172. I know.

173. Okay, next caller.

174. Salt Lake City, New Hampshire.

175. You're on the Dare Show.

176. Hi, I dare Toby to beat himself up.

177. Beat himself up?

178. Yeah, thanks caller, but I don't think so.

179. I'm sorry.

180. I thought this was the Dare Show.

181. Not the Scared Show.

182. Okay, we're not scared of anything.

183. Bah!

184. Made you jump.

185. You're too scared to beat yourself up.

186. Scaredy, scaredy, scaredy.

187. Yeah?

188. Watch this.

189. I

190. do not believe I just did that.

191. You look horrible.

192. I'm going to be in pain for weeks.

193. Alright, next caller.

194. Honolulu, Texas.

195. You're on the Dare Show.

196. Yeah, I dare you both to cover yourself with glue and then roll around in feathers.

197. We're not going to put glue on ourselves.

198. We can't roll around in feathers.

199. They'd stick to us.

200. We'd look like big stupid chickens.

201. Get real, caller.

202. Yellow belly.

203. Say what?

204. Yeah.

205. Please.

206. Yellow belly!

207. Fine!

208. We'll do it.

209. Come on, Toby.

210. I

211. can't believe we just did that.

212. You look like big fluffy morons.

213. These feathers are going to be stuck to us for a month.

214. Well, I'm going to have to quit the choir.

215. Okay, next caller.

216. Anchorage, Wisconsin.

217. Go for the Dare Show.

218. Abby, you can't see my ointment.

219. What is going on?

220. Nothing.

221. No, you two are doing that Dare Show again?

222. No.

223. How many times have I told both of you that I do not...

224. Hey, I dare your mom to eat five gallons of mayonnaise.

225. With her hands behind her back.

226. What?

227. I hate mayonnaise.

228. And leave her mother alone.

229. Well, I guess your mother's just...

230. a coward.

231. One more time.

232. I'm an old lady and I'm afraid to eat mayonnaise.

233. Coward.

234. Get me some mayonnaise!

235. The Dare Show.

236. On the Skywalk.

237. It's time for a hillbilly moment.

238. Hey, hey.

239. Knock, knock.

240. Who's there?

241. A pink toilet.

242. A pink toilet?

243. Who?

244. I want to hit his head with a pink toilet.

245. Nope.

246. Set free.

247. Roy.

248. Amanda Show.

249. Lobby.

250. Hello, please.

251. I'd like a large meatloaf outside the main doors, please.

252. Meatloaf?

253. Correct.

254. Could you check to see if the said meatloaf is still there, please?

255. Yeah, yeah.

256. Hold on.

257. Meatloaf!

258. This shirt was actually worn by Amanda.

259. Sniff it, then leave me to her.

260. Sniff, sniff, sniff.

261. Now one for me.

262. That's good.

263. Now find Amanda and you shall receive a large bone, please.

264. Come on, Mr. Hound Dog.

265. Find, find.

266. Excuse me, there are no dogs allowed on the... Sweet dreams.

267. Find Amanda.

268. She must be behind this door.

269. Amanda, it is I, Pelvey Teacher, number one fan, please.

270. Amanda?

271. Where's Amanda?

272. Is she in there?

273. No, she's not.

274. Can I help you?

275. Stop speaking!

276. Your sniffing was incorrect, please.

277. Find Amanda!

278. Amanda must be behind this door.

279. Amanda!

280. I've waited so long to finally meet...

281. One time, I was sleeping in my, like, bed.

282. And I had this totally real dream that, like, my mom made soup for breakfast.

283. And I'm all, dude, who eats soup for breakfast?

284. So then, I woke up and went downstairs to get some breakfast.

285. But I was in the wrong house.

286. That was totally Kyle!

287. Hey, you know that sketch you guys did earlier tonight?

288. Which sketch?

289. You know, the one where you play the foreigners in

290. the video store who always say, Much better!

291. Blockbuster.

292. Yeah, yeah, Blockbuster.

293. Well, I had to go to the bathroom and I missed the ending.

294. Would you mind performing it one more time?

295. Yeah!

296. Kyle needs to see Blockbuster again.

297. Seriously?

298. Yeah, come on, let's just do it for him.

299. Here, I brought the shirts and wigs and stuff.

300. Thank you.

301. Okay.

302. One sec.

303. Thank you.

304. Okay, I'm set.

305. Okay, this guy just needs to see the ending.

306. So let's pick it up where we show Jeremy's insane character in the movie.

307. Right from the clapping.

308. Wonderful!

309. That was my daughter Blini and my son Biscotti.

310. How you'll be paying me?

311. I'll pay you with this!

312. And then I rip my arm off.

313. Yeah, yeah!

314. He crazy!

315. Yeah, yeah, let us dance!

316. Yeah, yeah!

317. He's not even here!

318. I'm sorry, I had to make a phone call.

319. Could you guys do it just one more time?

320. No.

321. Okay, that's our show.

322. I gotta go body slam my grandmother.

323. See ya!

324. Amanda?

325. I think I smell the faint yet sweet aroma of Amanda!

326. Okay, little missy, you're coming with me.

327. Let's go.

328. Wait, I'm sniffing for Amanda!

329. Is that so wrong?

330. Hey, there was no Wheatloaf.

331. Please.

332. Amanda, please!