The Amanda Show 2x13

Directed by Ken Whittingham

Penelope meets a famous Nick star today - not Amanda, but Noah from Noah Knows Best. Meanwhile, Amanda finds that she has somebody else's pager. There's a visit to the Cookie shop, except now it's selling something else, and there's more prime-time entertainment with Amanda's Jacuzzi and another million dollar episode of ""Stranded"". Meanwhile, backstage, Penelope has to tie Noah to a chair to make him look at her website, while Kyle tells us what's on his mind with more ""Totally Kyle"". Then Noah escapes, but gets on stage just as the show is closing! They think it's all over!

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. What are you doing?

2. Hey, great.

3. Thanks for having me on the show.

4. Of course.

5. Are you excited?

6. Yeah.

7. I was just going through the script.

8. There's a lot of stuff.

9. I know.

10. We're gonna have so much fun.

11. Amanda, Drake got his foot caught in the toilet again.

12. Can you give us a hand?

13. Sure.

14. Back in a sec.

15. All right.

16. Taint,

17. I'm Amanda's number one fan, please.

18. Who are you, please?

19. I'm Phillip.

20. And why are you here?

21. Well, I do another show for Nickelodeon.

22. It's called No One Knows Best.

23. Is Amanda in it?

24. No.

25. Well, then apparently you don't know best, now do you?

26. Yeah.

27. Look, I really need to go over these lines for tonight's show, so if you could just.

28. You're going to be in the Amanda show?

29. Yeah.

30. So if you were to, I don't know, disappear, then Amanda

31. would have to come looking for you, now wouldn't she?

32. Well, I suppose so.

33. Sleep tight, Moses!

34. Okay, so the other day I was counting to infinity, right?

35. And I get all the way up to... That's my cager.

36. Hang on a sec.

37. No.

38. This looks like an emergency.

39. Hi, you paged me?

40. Yeah, my cat's stuck up in the tree.

41. Okay, hang on.

42. Thanks, lady.

43. No problem.

44. I

45. got this weird page from a little boy whose cat was stuck in a tree, so I had to.

46. No.

47. This looks bad.

48. I'll be right back.

49. Hi, I got your page.

50. How long's it been down?

51. About ten minutes.

52. Okay, give me a room.

53. No heartbeat.

54. This is terrible.

55. Clear!

56. I got a pulse!

57. Wait.

58. You're off!

59. You're off!

60. My God, he's off.

61. I'm alive!

62. I don't understand

63. what's going on with all these pages.

64. I just had to give a man CPR.

65. Well.

66. Excuse me, Amanda.

67. Hi.

68. I'm a paramedic.

69. And I think, somehow, we got our pagers switched.

70. My gosh, you're right.

71. Here you go.

72. Thanks.

73. Wait.

74. Did you get any of my pages?

75. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

76. I went to the mall with Jillian.

77. And I got this skirt.

78. On sale.

79. Geez, you know, I gotta go.

80. I'm gonna meet your mom at the salon.

81. We're getting our nails done.

82. Sir, that clown is choking.

83. Shouldn't you help her?

84. Geez, you know, I would, but I'm late for my manicure.

85. See ya.

86. Well.

87. Bye-bye, fun.

88. We just need the boost.

89. It's too high.

90. Not for the boost.

91. What boost?

92. The boost.

93. I'll show ya.

94. Someone need a boost?

95. No problem.

96. Thanks, the boost.

97. Don't thank me.

98. It's my job.

99. Trouble.

100. Ciao.

101. Our day is ruined.

102. Someone need a boost?

103. Love you, the boost.

104. Don't love me.

105. It's my job.

106. When you need a boost, get the boost.

107. Comes with cool-looking beeper and 24-hour access to a tall man with a car.

108. You rock, boost.

109. I don't rock.

110. It's my job.

111. The next time you need a boost, call the boost.

112. I lift people.

113. Welcome to Jerky Doober.

114. Would you like to try one of our delicious jerkies?

115. Am I crazy or this place used to sell cookies?

116. That's really none of your business.

117. The important thing now is... We are jerky people.

118. Well, I do love jerky.

119. Who doesn't?

120. What kind of jerky would you like?

121. I think I'll just try some regular old beef jerky.

122. Well, we don't carry...

123. beef jerky.

124. That never occurred to us.

125. But we do have monkey jerky.

126. Monkey jerky?

127. Made from fresh monkeys.

128. Isn't that illegal?

129. We won't tell if you won't.

130. OK, but I don't think I want any monkey jerky.

131. Well, then try rat jerky.

132. Rat!

133. It's made from our very own rats.

134. We find them in our kitchen.

135. Not another rat!

136. Not now, Grandpa!

137. You people are freaky.

138. Once again, freaky!

139. It's OK, baby, we'll just pray that bad things happen to her.

140. OK, Daddy.

141. Hi there, welcome to Jerky Dooper.

142. What kind of jerky can we get you?

143. I thought you people sold sushi.

144. I'll thank you never to mention that again.

145. We are cookie people.

146. Jerky people.

147. You know, I do love jerky, but I don't eat the red meat.

148. Do you have any turkey jerky?

149. No, but we have skunk butt jerky.

150. Skunk butt?

151. And porcupine jerky.

152. Porcupine?

153. We even have diaper jerky!

154. Diaper?

155. It's made from real... I don't want to know what it's made from.

156. Maybe you'd rather try our garbage jerky.

157. It's tasty and it's good for the environment.

158. It's ready now.

159. Open up the smoker and take it out, baby.

160. I'll do it, Daddy.

161. And I like it.

162. People give dry meats a bad name.

163. Hello, officer.

164. Welcome to Jerky Dooper.

165. Can we ingest you in one of our extra special jerkies?

166. Why, yes, as a law enforcement officer, I enjoy jerky.

167. Try this.

168. It's good!

169. That is good.

170. What do you call this jerky?

171. We call it alien abduction jerky.

172. Now, why would you call it alien abduction jerky?

173. Well...

174. no.

175. Not again.

176. Daddy.

177. I think we really are jerky people.

178. I think so, baby.

179. I think so.

180. Daddy.

181. Get ready for the next one.

182. Yo.

183. It's Amanda's Jacuzzi.

184. Hi, welcome to my jacuzzi.

185. Today, my special guest is Amelia Earhart.

186. Hi.

187. And I'm here with my special guest, Now, Amelia, I've

188. heard you were one of the first women to pilot an airplane.

189. That's right.

190. I'm one of the first female pilots.

191. Cool.

192. And once you tried to fly across the ocean or

193. something, but got lost and were never seen again?

194. Yes, I disappeared and was never found.

195. And is it also true that you once swallowed a live raccoon whole?

196. No.

197. No, it was dead.

198. I see.

199. Well, how about a plate of spaghetti?

200. Yummy.

201. That was Amanda's Jacuzzi.

202. Yo, yo, yo.

203. Bye.

204. Bye.

205. This is a bathroom in downtown North Dakota.

206. We locked five strange people in here, stranded in a bathtub.

207. These peculiar people are...

208. Courtney, Marcy Stimple, Amber, Mr. Gullible, and a hillbilly named Enos.

209. The rules.

210. You step out of the tub, you lose.

211. The prize goes to the last person remaining in the bathtub.

212. One million dollars.

213. Now, let's see how long these strange people can stand each other in a bathtub,

214. stranded.

215. Day one.

216. The president.

217. My name's Courtney.

218. He's there.

219. Ma!

220. My name is Mr. Gullible.

221. I lost this contest the last time, but this time I'm gonna win.

222. Like you already won.

223. Really?

224. Yeah, congratulations.

225. Your prize is right up there.

226. Well, this was easier than I thought.

227. With Mr. Gullible gone, only four participants remain.

228. On day nine, they start getting on each other's nerves.

229. You have pretty hair, I like it, I like it.

230. Thanks, my hair is one of the many reasons why I'm so popular.

231. My foster mother says I have pretty hair too.

232. Wanna, wanna, wanna touch it?

233. Wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna?

234. Ma!

235. Ma!

236. Ma!

237. Stop it!

238. D'

239. Day 29.

240. Only three participants remain.

241. They're hungry, they're tired and they're still stranded.

242. Now, it's time to vote one of their own out of the tub.

243. Who will it be?

244. What?

245. You can't vote me out.

246. I'm the most popular person in the tub.

247. I voted her out.

248. So yous make me alone.

249. What?

250. You're prettier, my sister.

251. There,

252. I vote myself out.

253. Because you disgust me.

254. Who's there?

255. Can you please get me away from him?

256. Thank you, yeah, finally.

257. Day 51.

258. Only two contestants remain, Courtney and Enos.

259. They're exhausted, delirious, but one of them is going to be a millionaire.

260. Which freak will it be?

261. Who's there?

262. Who's there?

263. Hey, what's this?

264. Snot.

265. That's good.

266. Hey, hey, tell me knock-knock joke.

267. Please tell me knock-knock joke, I really need a knock-knocker.

268. Please tell me one.

269. Knock-knock.

270. Who's there?

271. Who's there?

272. Who's there?

273. I know someone's there, I heard a knock-knock.

274. I know who's there.

275. Who's there?

276. Who's there?

277. Go!

278. Who's there?

279. And the winner, Courtney.

280. That's right.

281. Dance, dance, dance.

282. Dance, dance, dance, dance.

283. Hi, Margie.

284. Guess what?

285. Phillip asked me to the hula thon.

286. Yes, the hula thon.

287. Phillip.

288. Amanda, where's Phillip?

289. No one can find him.

290. What?

291. Can you please just let me go?

292. No.

293. The show's got to be half over by now.

294. Correct.

295. Soon Amanda will have to come looking for you, please.

296. Look, I've really got to get out of here, so if you could just...

297. I have my own Amanda website, you know, www.amandaplease.com.

298. Your own website.

299. Could I see that?

300. Of course.

301. View my laptop.

302. Here's the home page.

303. With plenty of clickable items to click upon.

304. And here's the fact of the day about Amanda.

305. You know what else you could write about on the website?

306. What, please?

307. My escape.

308. I don't think so!

309. You fractured my wrist!

310. I'm sorry.

311. I didn't mean to.

312. Are you sure it's broken?

313. Well, let's see.

314. I'll press this button on my watch here.

315. Stay tight, Moses!

316. From his garage, it's Totally Kyle!

317. One time, I had this mosquito bite, and it was all like, itchy, so I like

318. scratched it, but then it got all itchy again, so I like scratched it again,

319. but then it got all itchy again, so I scratched it

320. again, then it got itchy again, so I like scratched it...

321. again.

322. That was Totally Kyle!

323. Totally!

324. OK,

325. to close the show, I thought I'd show you guys how

326. I shellacked my pants with this lemon butter sauce.

327. Lemon!

328. Where have you been?

329. Some crazy lunatic tied me up in a closet back there.

330. Really?

331. Are you OK?

332. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

333. I escaped while she was beating up some security guard.

334. Gosh, I'm really sorry.

335. Well, if you can help untie me, we can get on with the show.

336. Well, the show's sort of over.

337. Over?

338. Yeah, you see?

339. OK, that's our show, I gotta go punish a water balloon.

340. See ya!

341. Look, my name is Noah, will you please just leave me alone?

342. Nighty night, Moses!

343. Amanda, please.