The Amanda Show 1x6

Directed by Rich Correll

Amanda takes extreme measures to break through The Amanda Show's tight security. She gives them some of her muscle. When she get's to the stage, the audience don't understand a word she says. There's also a tense game of ""So You Wanna Win Five Dollars?"" and Amanda finds a good way to deal with broccoli.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. her dressing room is in the southeast corner of the building.

2. So, I'll need you to adjust the trajectory three degrees to the north.

3. Perfect.

4. Five, four, three, two, one.

5. Kaboom, please.

6. Kaboom, please.

7. Is mama crying?

8. That was beautiful.

9. I gotta get my makeup touched up.

10. What the... You're that girl, Correct.

11. My name is Penelope Taint.

12. I'm Amanda's number one fan, please.

13. I have my own Amanda website, you know, www.amandaplease.com.

14. I'd show it to you, but my laptop computer's pinned up against my abdomen.

15. Alright.

16. I want to meet Amanda, please.

17. Yeah, sure.

18. Hold on, I'll go get her.

19. Security!

20. Sir, excuse me.

21. My body's stuck in the wall, please.

22. I must meet Amanda.

23. Boring.

24. Bye-bye.

25. Hey.

26. Like, like.

27. Shaboom.

28. Howdy, actors.

29. Gimme.

30. See ya.

31. Camera time.

32. Shaboom.

33. Cool guys.

34. Love you, Dan.

35. Camera.

36. Sound.

37. Coming.

38. Hey, come on.

39. Blank to blank.

40. I know.

41. Yep, here's the problem.

42. There was a slice of raw bacon stuck in my shoe.

43. Hello?

44. I say, I had a slice of raw bacon stuck in my shoe.

45. Is this microphone on?

46. What's wrong with this audience?

47. I don't know.

48. They're not laughing.

49. Hello?

50. Amanda, the audience, they don't speak any English.

51. You're gonna have to cancel the show.

52. They're not gonna understand anything.

53. No way.

54. Don't you know, I'm not only a comedic actress, I'm

55. also certified to teach English as a second language.

56. Amanda, you don't have time to teach them how to speak English.

57. Watch me.

58. OK, audience, time to learn English.

59. OK, so y'all speak English now, right?

60. Yes, we do, Amanda.

61. OK, then let's try this again.

62. I've been feeling really weird all day because...

63. I had a slice of raw bacon in my shoe!

64. I had a slice of raw bacon in my shoe!

65. I had a slice of raw bacon in my shoe!

66. There you go.

67. Well, stick around and I'll be back in a second to do stuff.

68. Hey, put those checkers away and let's play something really fun.

69. What you got?

70. Apex...

71. New game?

72. Yeah!

73. Apex Flash!

74. Hey, kids, what you playing?

75. Egg Splat!

76. Egg Splat?

77. What's that?

78. A mess!

79. With 24 semi-fresh eggs!

80. You kids!

81. Egg Splat!

82. From Daria!

83. Get one!

84. Come back to see Wanna Win 5.

85. Ready for the final question?

86. I sure as hell did already, ready, ready!

87. OK, now so far you've won $2.73.

88. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

89. Stop it!

90. Alright, the final question, as you know, is worth $5.

91. $5!

92. $5!

93. $5!

94. I'll get my

95. $5!

96. OK, the big $5 question is... Who was the 17th President of the United States?

97. Was it A.

98. Thomas Jefferson, B.

99. Teddy Roosevelt, C.

100. Andrew Johnson, or D.

101. The Backstreet Boys?

102. I know it!

103. I know it!

104. I know it!

105. I know it!

106. I know it!

107. I know it!

108. I know it!

109. I know it!

110. I know it when I studied the presidents of Mrs. Spicer's class!

111. Mrs. Spicer never liked me too much, so she said that I'm just rude to the class.

112. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

113. She called my parents to find out if I could get some professional help.

114. And they agreed to let you know that my father got fired from his job.

115. Sorry, time's up.

116. It's a cottage cheese!

117. OK, let's bring out our next contestant, Kyle Rostenson.

118. Welcome, Kyle.

119. Welcome, Tina, what's up?

120. Well, you could be up $5 if you could answer three questions correctly.

121. Intense!

122. Alright, finish this nursery rhyme.

123. Mary had a little... what?

124. Was it A.

125. Lamb, B.

126. Dog, C.

127. Hamster, or D.

128. Infection?

129. OK, let's see.

130. Mary had a little...

131. radio!

132. That's not even one of our four choices.

133. Bummer.

134. This is really tough.

135. I'm gonna have to ask an audience member.

136. I pick that dude.

137. What's up, man?

138. Dude, help me out here.

139. Dude, I think it's a radio.

140. Yeah.

141. It's not a radio, it's a nursery rhyme.

142. Babies know it.

143. Mary had a little... Andrew Johnson!

144. Yeah, dude!

145. It's not it.

146. Well, then I'm gonna have to call a friend.

147. My best bud, Leif.

148. Alright, we're gonna get Leif on the phone for you right now.

149. Hello, this is Leif.

150. Yeah, dude, Leifer.

151. Help me out here.

152. Mary had a little what?

153. Dude, I just told you.

154. I still think it's a radio.

155. Yeah, my bud still thinks it's a radio.

156. Time's up.

157. Alright, Kyle, are you ready for the emergency lightning round?

158. Totally.

159. Put 20 seconds on the clock.

160. Name any color.

161. Seven.

162. Name any number.

163. Andrew Johnson.

164. What's the opposite of hot?

165. Way hot.

166. How do you spell paper?

167. R-A-D-I-O.

168. What's five plus three?

169. Australia.

170. What planet do you live on?

171. False.

172. What's the matter with you?

173. So many things.

174. You got zero correct answers.

175. What does that mean?

176. That you're extremely unintelligent.

177. Okay, that's all the time we have for tonight.

178. Join us again next week for... So you want to win $5?

179. Hey, what did I win?

180. Nothing!

181. Radio!

182. Mom,

183. is dinner ready yet?

184. Yes, little Amanda.

185. Here your food.

186. Broccoli?

187. Broccoli?

188. Gross!

189. Yeah?

190. Well, you ain't so cute yourself, chickie-poo.

191. Mom, the broccoli's talking to me.

192. Vegetables don't speak the English.

193. Just eat some broccoli!

194. You're dumb and you smell like a foot.

195. Hey!

196. That didn't hurt.

197. Blah-blah-blah-blah-b lah-blah-blah-blah!

198. Yeah?

199. How about this?

200. I enjoyed that.

201. Jump on me some more, doofus!

202. Girls are dumb!

203. Blah-blah-blah-blah-b lah-blah-blah-blah!

204. All right, that... Hey, what are you doing?

205. Hey, what are you doing?

206. Hey, wait, wait!

207. Don't, don't do that!

208. You wouldn't dare.

209. Wouldn't I?

210. Okay, now I'm liquid.

211. Here, Yoko!

212. Please!

213. Here you go!

214. Thank you!

215. As far as you know!

216. Blockbuster!

217. Welcome to our video store!

218. How might we be helping you?

219. Who's in charge here?

220. I need to see the manager.

221. Papa!

222. This lady would like to say words to your face!

223. Look, I ran this movie here last night and this is not Titanic!

224. No, no, no!

225. Last night, you not ask for Titanic!

226. You ask for Tidanic!

227. Tidanic?

228. Yes, is better!

229. Much better!

230. You think so?

231. Well, play it.

232. Look at us!

233. She will now be sinking.

234. And we will become wet... with water.

235. With water!

236. That wasn't Titanic!

237. That was you two idiots in a bucket of water!

238. Is true!

239. Thank you!

240. That's not the movie I wanted!

241. Is better!

242. Much better!

243. How you will be paying me?

244. Pay you?

245. I'll spank you!

246. No, no, no, no!

247. Spank you!

248. Spank you very much!

249. Weirdos!

250. Jage, welcome to our video store.

251. How may I be helping you?

252. Yeah, I asked for an exercise video.

253. You people gave me this.

254. Yes.

255. This is very good exercise video.

256. Yeah?

257. Look at it!

258. Jage.

259. Okay, now for exercise.

260. You do sit-ups.

261. Sit-ups.

262. Lie down.

263. Sit up.

264. Lie down.

265. Sit up.

266. Lie down.

267. Sit up.

268. Lie down.

269. Exercise video!

270. Of course, is better!

271. Much better!

272. That's not even healthy.

273. That's just your kids eating pizza and talking into a camera.

274. Is true!

275. Thank you.

276. If you do those exercises, soon you'll not be so pudgy.

277. Pudgy?

278. Are you calling me pudgy?

279. Yes, your behind is like a big mountain.

280. What kind of a diseased video store is this?

281. We are Blockblister.

282. Blockblister?

283. But I thought that this was Blockbl... No, look at side, see?

284. Jage.

285. Jage yourself.

286. Jage, jage, jage.

287. See how she runs to lose more weight.

288. Run, pudgy lady, run!

289. You will not be so pudgy.

290. Pudgy lady.

291. Pudgy lady.

292. Time for a huge belly-o-moment.

293. No, no.

294. Who's there?

295. Large mallet.

296. A large mallet, who?

297. I'll hit you in the head with a large mallet.

298. That's good news.

299. OK, Amanda, let's go, let's go.

300. Sorry, Johnny, let's go, please.

301. OK, let's...

302. Let's go, please?

303. I mean, Johnny, let's go, please.

304. Wait a minute.

305. Wait, don't, wait.

306. You're not Amanda.

307. Ms.

308. Penelope Taint, I'm Amanda's number one fan, please.

309. Where's Amanda?

310. I don't know, I thought you were Amanda.

311. I wish.

312. I have my own Amanda website, www.amandaplease.com.

313. I don't have time for this.

314. Stay!

315. View my website.

316. Here's the home page, which I update frequently, please.

317. This week on my website, you can see actual bloopers from the Amanda Show.

318. View this actual mistake when Amanda forgets to say cucumber.

319. I hate knock-knock.

320. Who's there?

321. Cucumber.

322. Cut it!

323. That was a blooper, please.

324. And if you'd like to send me an email about

325. Amanda, you can click on send me an email.

326. Do it, please.

327. I will read your words.

328. Click, please.

329. Back to the home page where you'll see tons of other Amanda clickables.

330. Well, isn't my website excellent?

331. Johnny?

332. Johnny boy?

333. Hey, excuse me.

334. Release my arms.

335. Why do it?

336. I'm Amanda's number one fan!

337. Come on, Johnny, let's go.

338. What's wrong?

339. Nothing.

340. Come on, let's go.

341. From his garage, it's totally Kyle.

342. One time, I like climbed up this hill.

343. You know, like a really steep hill.

344. And then I threw a frisbee.

345. Because like... I can throw a frisbee really far.

346. So I threw it and it went like really, really far.

347. So if anybody sees my frisbee, you know, it's mine.

348. That was totally Kyle.

349. Totally.

350. Hi, you must be the new babysitter.

351. Yes, Becky Swanson, professional babysitter.

352. Well, I don't think you'll have any trouble here.

353. Justin and Kelly are very well behaved.

354. Honey, we're gonna be late!

355. OK.

356. You kids, be good for the new babysitter, OK?

357. OK, Mom.

358. Alright, have fun.

359. Bye-bye.

360. Hello, I'm Becky.

361. Would you children like to play a little game?

362. Yeah, sure!

363. Let's play tag!

364. Tag, tag!

365. Well, it's been a little while since I've played tag, but... Not it!

366. Not it!

367. Kelly's it!

368. No, can't catch me, can't catch me, can't catch me!

369. Can't catch me, can't catch me, can't catch me!

370. You're it!

371. No, I'm on base!

372. The coffee table's bailed out!

373. I did too!

374. You did not!

375. Are you OK?

376. I'm hungry.

377. What?

378. I'm

379. OK!

380. Are you sure you're a real babysitter?

381. Yep, four bucks an hour.

382. Then why are you acting like such a big baby?

383. Why are you?

384. I'm not!

385. You are!

386. No, you are!

387. You are!

388. You!

389. Whoopee, tummy time!

390. Feed me!

391. What?

392. Feed me!

393. What is it that for?

394. Get in, do a train, do a train, do a choo-choo train!

395. You better do it!

396. You gotta be kidding!

397. Choo-choo!

398. Choo-choo!

399. Nap time.

400. Hey, aren't you supposed to be taking care of us?

401. Miss, miss, are you OK?

402. What's wrong?

403. You hit me!

404. I did not!

405. Liar!

406. My goodness!

407. Hey, why don't you just chill out and watch some videos?

408. OK, I'm gonna watch Flumbo!

409. That's for kids.

410. I wanna watch Flumbo.

411. Purple-licious!

412. Hey, Becky, wanna play hide and seek?

413. Yeah, hide and seek, hide and seek, hide and seek!

414. Not it!

415. That's OK, we'll be it!

416. You go hide.

417. OK.

418. One, two, three...

419. Four, five...

420. Yeah, I'll get the keys to Mom's car.

421. The door's locked!

422. Let me out!

423. Hey!

424. Johnny, it's coming out to the show, I gotta go home and feed my monkeys!

425. See ya!

426. That's not me!

427. Please, I must meet Amanda!