1. Ticket, please.Copy !req
2. Yeah, here's one for me
and one for my sister.Copy !req
3. Enjoy the Amanda Show.Copy !req
4. Ticket, please.Copy !req
5. Hello, please.Copy !req
6. My name is Penelope Taint,
Amanda's number one fan.Copy !req
7. I'm here to view the Amanda Show.Copy !req
8. Ticket.Copy !req
9. I have my own Amanda website,
you know.Copy !req
10. I can log on to it at any
time with this computer.Copy !req
11. It hangs from my neck.Copy !req
12. Yeah, I got one of those laptops.Copy !req
13. My uncle bought it for me.Copy !req
14. You're wasting my life.Copy !req
15. Ticket, please.Copy !req
16. Enjoy the show.Copy !req
17. Where do you think you're going?Copy !req
18. To the stage.Copy !req
19. The show's about to start.Copy !req
20. Ticket.Copy !req
21. Ticket?Copy !req
22. I don't have a ticket.Copy !req
23. My name's Amanda.Copy !req
24. I'm, like, in the show.Copy !req
25. The Amanda Show?Copy !req
26. No, your name's not on the guest list.Copy !req
27. But my name's on the stage.Copy !req
28. In nine foot tall letters.Copy !req
29. Where's the light up and say Amanda,
as in me?Copy !req
30. Nobody gets in without a ticket.Copy !req
31. Look, if you won't let me in,
I'll have to get past you by force.Copy !req
32. You think you can get by me?Copy !req
33. And my two pals?Copy !req
34. Little girl?Copy !req
35. All right, you win.Copy !req
36. Get her!Copy !req
37. Skimmy!Copy !req
38. See ya!Copy !req
39. Shaboom!Copy !req
40. Cool guys!Copy !req
41. Love you, Dan!Copy !req
42. Camera!Copy !req
43. Sorry, I'm out of breath.Copy !req
44. I just had to beat up three huge men.Copy !req
45. Anyways, I'm glad you're all here because
we have an amazing show for you tonight.Copy !req
46. But before we start, does anybody in the
audience have a question they'd like to ask?Copy !req
47. Lots of questions.Copy !req
48. How about...Copy !req
49. Hello?Copy !req
50. Hey, Amanda,
what's your cell phone number?Copy !req
51. You just called me.Copy !req
52. I think you have the number.Copy !req
53. Right.Copy !req
54. Sorry.Copy !req
55. It's okay.Copy !req
56. Does anybody else have a question?Copy !req
57. How about...Copy !req
58. Okay.Copy !req
59. Yeah, what's up?Copy !req
60. Yeah, hi, Amanda.Copy !req
61. Hi.Copy !req
62. I was just wondering, why is there a
phone booth in the middle of the audience?Copy !req
63. Where?Copy !req
64. Over here.Copy !req
65. Over here.Copy !req
66. Hi.Copy !req
67. Hi.Copy !req
68. Hi.Copy !req
69. You know, I don't know.Copy !req
70. Maybe it's because...Copy !req
71. Hold on.Copy !req
72. I have another call.Copy !req
73. Okay.Copy !req
74. Hello?Copy !req
75. Hi, Amanda.Copy !req
76. It's your mom.Copy !req
77. Hi, Mom.Copy !req
78. Listen, I can't talk right now.Copy !req
79. I'm on television.Copy !req
80. I know that, dear.Copy !req
81. That's why I'm calling.Copy !req
82. Stand up straight.Copy !req
83. You're slouching.Copy !req
84. Mom, it's so embarrassing.Copy !req
85. Are you wearing clean underpants?Copy !req
86. Mom?Copy !req
87. Listen, I gotta take this call,
but I'll be back in a second.Copy !req
88. It is time.Copy !req
89. Kids, what do you want for breakfast?Copy !req
90. Cereal.Copy !req
91. Meatloaf.Copy !req
92. Cereal.Copy !req
93. Meatloaf.Copy !req
94. Can't you kids ever agree?Copy !req
95. Whoop-dee-dee.Copy !req
96. Have a bowl of me.Copy !req
97. Who are you?Copy !req
98. I'm Loaf.Copy !req
99. And I'm here to tell you about my
yumtastic new cereal, Meatloaf Crunch!Copy !req
100. Meatloaf Crunch?Copy !req
101. Yeah!Copy !req
102. It's turning the milk chocolatey!Copy !req
103. That ain't chocolate, that's gravy!Copy !req
104. And don't forget about
the prize inside!Copy !req
105. Yeah!Copy !req
106. I got lotion!Copy !req
107. I got a nose trap!Copy !req
108. Hey, give me some Meatloaf Crunch!Copy !req
109. Whoop-de-dee!Copy !req
110. Have a bowl of me!Copy !req
111. Hey, who's that?Copy !req
112. Hi, Dad!Copy !req
113. Meatloaf!Copy !req
114. You guys!Copy !req
115. Meatloaf!Copy !req
116. Meatloaf!Copy !req
117. Come and eat some crunch!Copy !req
118. Meatloaf!Copy !req
119. Meatloaf!Copy !req
120. Come and eat some crunch!Copy !req
121. Meatloaf!Copy !req
122. Meatloaf!Copy !req
123. Whoop-de-dee!Copy !req
124. Have a bowl of me!Copy !req
125. Meatloaf!Copy !req
126. Meatloaf!Copy !req
127. Come and eat some crunch!Copy !req
128. Jack!Copy !req
129. Okay, you know what to do!Copy !req
130. Next guy that comes his
way takes lunch money!Copy !req
131. Yeah!Copy !req
132. And if we don't give it to him,
we kick his butt!Copy !req
133. Yeah!Copy !req
134. Yeah!Copy !req
135. Yeah!Copy !req
136. Yeah!Copy !req
137. Here comes that nerd, Marvin!Copy !req
138. Hey, hey, Marvin!Copy !req
139. Where do you think you're going?Copy !req
140. Yeah, Marvin, the...
Give us your lunch money!Copy !req
141. We'll do bad things to you!Copy !req
142. Yeah!Copy !req
143. You morons, get out of my way!Copy !req
144. Did you hear that, Jake?Copy !req
145. I heard it, Jack!Copy !req
146. Looks like somebody's about to
get their head knocked off, okay?Copy !req
147. And we're gonna give
you one more chance!Copy !req
148. What is that?Copy !req
149. He's got.Copy !req
150. Jerks!Copy !req
151. Yeah, yeah, you better run!Copy !req
152. And don't come back!Copy !req
153. Yeah,
tomorrow we'll intimidate you again!Copy !req
154. Yeah!Copy !req
155. Yeah!Copy !req
156. Come here.Copy !req
157. Hey, hey,
couple of babes heading this way!Copy !req
158. Couple of chickadees!Copy !req
159. Hey, girls, how about a little kiss?Copy !req
160. Yeah!Copy !req
161. Kiss?Copy !req
162. No, no, no!Copy !req
163. Dang it!Copy !req
164. No, dang it!Copy !req
165. What?Copy !req
166. That was wild!Copy !req
167. Never mind!Copy !req
168. That was wild!Copy !req
169. Man, those girls wanted us!Copy !req
170. So bad!Copy !req
171. So bad!Copy !req
172. Hey!Copy !req
173. What?Copy !req
174. Let's prepare a little graffiti!Copy !req
175. Yeah!Copy !req
176. What?Copy !req
177. Hey, something's wrong here.Copy !req
178. Man, look!Copy !req
179. This paint's the exact
same color as the wall!Copy !req
180. Are you sure?Copy !req
181. Yeah, look!Copy !req
182. School hallway white!Copy !req
183. Man, man!Copy !req
184. Wait, watch out, teacher!Copy !req
185. Boys!Copy !req
186. I see you're touching up
the paint on the walls!Copy !req
187. No, we wasn't!Copy !req
188. It is so wonderful to see
you two young fellas takingCopy !req
189. an interest in keeping your
school looking nice and clean!Copy !req
190. But we was being bad!Copy !req
191. Man!Copy !req
192. Man!Copy !req
193. So frustrating!Copy !req
194. Hey, you dropped your paint cans!Copy !req
195. Man!Copy !req
196. Watch where you're throwing, Joe!Copy !req
197. Man, you can put it all out!Copy !req
198. Man!Copy !req
199. Boys!Copy !req
200. Would you watch my baby?Copy !req
201. I have to go get his
diapers out of the car.Copy !req
202. What?Copy !req
203. Man!Copy !req
204. Dumb baby!Copy !req
205. You let her run!Copy !req
206. Better stay right there or else!Copy !req
207. Yeah!Copy !req
208. Don't mess with us!Copy !req
209. I can't!Copy !req
210. Wipe that smile off your face!Copy !req
211. You dumb baby!Copy !req
212. Thanks for taking me bowling.Copy !req
213. You bowl good.Copy !req
214. You bowl better.Copy !req
215. I know.Copy !req
216. My mom says it's because
I have thick wrists.Copy !req
217. I think thick wrists are cute.Copy !req
218. Thanks.Copy !req
219. Amanda, you know, I was wondering... Well,
we've been out on a lot of dates and...Copy !req
220. Well...Copy !req
221. This is hard for me to ask, but...
Do you want to be my girlfriend?Copy !req
222. I mean, if you don't want to,
it's okay.Copy !req
223. Really.Copy !req
224. Amanda?Copy !req
225. Amanda?Copy !req
226. Amanda?Copy !req
227. That pimple is huge!Copy !req
228. I must destroy that pimple!Copy !req
229. Amanda, what are you doing there?Copy !req
230. I can't take it!Copy !req
231. Slap it!Copy !req
232. Slap it!Copy !req
233. Harder!Copy !req
234. Rude!Copy !req
235. Now you're gonna get it!Copy !req
236. My pimple's aggressive!Copy !req
237. You wanna fight, pimple?Copy !req
238. Nice punch!Copy !req
239. You hit me!Copy !req
240. You started it!Copy !req
241. I'm sorry.Copy !req
242. Me too.Copy !req
243. I think you're cute!Copy !req
244. You're kinda cute too.Copy !req
245. What's going on here?Copy !req
246. I love you, Amanda!Copy !req
247. I love you, pimple!Copy !req
248. You got a crush on my pimple?Copy !req
249. Amanda?Copy !req
250. Hello?Copy !req
251. Hello?Copy !req
252. Amanda?Copy !req
253. What?Copy !req
254. I was asking you,
do you want to be my girlfriend?Copy !req
255. Well...Copy !req
256. Yes.Copy !req
257. Yes, I do.Copy !req
258. Someone asks you to
subtract 4,321 from 7,234.Copy !req
259. Your best bet is to hide under
your bed and shake like a coward.Copy !req
260. Now, if a pigeon starts
pecking your mother...Copy !req
261. Jeffrey, why have you hollered?Copy !req
262. Sorry, Miss Yumbo,
I just got a paper cut on my finger.Copy !req
263. Nobody move!Copy !req
264. Everyone...Copy !req
265. There is the wounded boy!Copy !req
266. Well, I guess that's me, but it's
just a paper... Try not to talk!Copy !req
267. Show me your digits!Copy !req
268. Holy Babuda!Copy !req
269. Nurse Zelda, it's no big deal.Copy !req
270. Don't be a hero, boy!Copy !req
271. Nurse Zelda,
this seems really unnecessary!Copy !req
272. Quiet, you beef puppet!Copy !req
273. No, I'm your teacher!Copy !req
274. You've done what you think...
There, now I can nurse in peace!Copy !req
275. Son, do you feel dizzy?Copy !req
276. No.Copy !req
277. Queasy?Copy !req
278. No.Copy !req
279. Hungry?Copy !req
280. Well, I guess a little.Copy !req
281. Holy Babuda!Copy !req
282. Otis, you've got to get
some food into this boy!Copy !req
283. Schnell!Copy !req
284. Okay.Copy !req
285. Lie down!Copy !req
286. Okay, open your mouth!Copy !req
287. Alright,
this bottle is filled with pudding.Copy !req
288. Good, thick pudding.Copy !req
289. Soon you'll be properly
nursed and feeling fine.Copy !req
290. Otis, release the pudding!Copy !req
291. Okay.Copy !req
292. Alright, you'll be filled
with pudding in no time.Copy !req
293. I made the pudding.Copy !req
294. Quiet!Copy !req
295. Okay.Copy !req
296. Wait!Copy !req
297. Nothing, I just coughed.Copy !req
298. Holy Babuda!Copy !req
299. They've got a choker!Copy !req
300. Don't worry, honey, I'll Heimlich you!Copy !req
301. Heimlich?Copy !req
302. There, now she can rest.Copy !req
303. No!Copy !req
304. Otis!Copy !req
305. Okay!Copy !req
306. Get him off the gurney!Copy !req
307. Schnell!Copy !req
308. I just sneezed.Copy !req
309. Lucilda, are you alright?Copy !req
310. It could be dangerous!Copy !req
311. Paddles!Copy !req
312. And clear!Copy !req
313. Flavin!Copy !req
314. And clear!Copy !req
315. Flavin, flavin!Copy !req
316. Do you feel better, darling?Copy !req
317. No.Copy !req
318. Excellent.Copy !req
319. Lucilda!Copy !req
320. Stop!Copy !req
321. How dare you lock me in the closet!Copy !req
322. I'm walking in front of the building!Copy !req
323. It looks pretty bad!Copy !req
324. I need an ambulance
and a full rescue team!Copy !req
325. What are you talking about?Copy !req
326. There's no one down
here on the sidewalk!Copy !req
327. Otis!Copy !req
328. Okay.Copy !req
329. It's time for The Simeons!Copy !req
330. Hi, you must be Mrs. Simeons.Copy !req
331. And you must be Robert.Copy !req
332. Carilla, your blind date is here!Copy !req
333. Hi, Robert.Copy !req
334. Hi, Carilla.Copy !req
335. You look... you look...Copy !req
336. A nice lamp.Copy !req
337. Thanks.Copy !req
338. So, are you ready to go?Copy !req
339. Not so fast, Carilla.Copy !req
340. I think your father would like to
meet Robert before you kids go out.Copy !req
341. Mom!Copy !req
342. Carilla!Copy !req
343. No!Copy !req
344. Yeah!Copy !req
345. Because I said so!Copy !req
346. Absolutely not you!Copy !req
347. You!Copy !req
348. It's okay,
I'd love to meet your father.Copy !req
349. Okay!Copy !req
350. Daddy!Copy !req
351. Robert, this is Daddy.Copy !req
352. Daddy, this is Robert.Copy !req
353. Pleased to meet you, sir.Copy !req
354. Don't mind him.Copy !req
355. He's a little grumpy
because he can't walk erect.Copy !req
356. Hey, tell you what, kids.Copy !req
357. Why don't you sit down and have
a little chat before you go?Copy !req
358. No!Copy !req
359. Dad!Copy !req
360. Why are you late?Copy !req
361. Okay, we'll sit down.Copy !req
362. Excuse me, Mr. Simeon,
but where are you from?Copy !req
363. Excuse me?Copy !req
364. Honey, the boy can't understand
you with your mouth all full.Copy !req
365. He's from Norway.Copy !req
366. Aren't you cutie?Copy !req
367. Why do you ask where he's from?Copy !req
368. Because, you know, he's...Copy !req
369. an ape.Copy !req
370. What are you doing?Copy !req
371. Get off of me!Copy !req
372. Somebody help me, please!Copy !req
373. Get off of me!Copy !req
374. Dad doesn't like to be called an ape.Copy !req
375. No, we just call him Daddy or...
Steve.Copy !req
376. Steve.Copy !req
377. I'm having trouble
understanding all this.Copy !req
378. Well, it's very simple, Robert.Copy !req
379. You see, when I was in college,
I traveled toCopy !req
380. Norway, where I met Steve,
the love of my life.Copy !req
381. That must be Chip,
home from soccer practice.Copy !req
382. Hi, honey.Copy !req
383. My gosh, what's he doing?Copy !req
384. Chip, leave him alone!Copy !req
385. What's he doing to my head?Copy !req
386. Don't mind Chip.Copy !req
387. He's just picking bugs
and junk out of your hair.Copy !req
388. It's nothing unusual.Copy !req
389. Maybe not for you.Copy !req
390. Gosh.Copy !req
391. What's he doing now?Copy !req
392. Relax.Copy !req
393. He's just sniffing your butt.Copy !req
394. Chip, wait!Copy !req
395. Hey, kids.Copy !req
396. Carilla, can we just go?Copy !req
397. Okay, where are we going?Copy !req
398. I thought we'd walk to the
uniplex to see a movie.Copy !req
399. Walk?Copy !req
400. Don't be silly.Copy !req
401. Carilla's dad will give you a lift.Copy !req
402. He's going to drive us?Copy !req
403. Robert, Daddy doesn't drive.Copy !req
404. Well, then how is he going to
give us a lift to the uniplex?Copy !req
405. My God!Copy !req
406. Night, Mom.Copy !req
407. Have a wonderful time, dear.Copy !req
408. Carilla, no monkey business.Copy !req
409. And you, young man,
time for a back shaving.Copy !req
410. That was Bruce Emins!Copy !req
411. And you kids, stay out of my yard!Copy !req
412. Hello?Copy !req
413. Yeah, this is Mrs.
Lemon, Lemon, Lemon.Copy !req
414. I'm with the cheese company.Copy !req
415. The cheese company?Copy !req
416. Who do you want to talk to,
Mrs. Lemon?Copy !req
417. Sir, what time can I drop
some cheese by your house?Copy !req
418. Cheese?Copy !req
419. I didn't order any cheese.Copy !req
420. Sir, what color socks are you wearing?Copy !req
421. Well, they're a lovely blue.Copy !req
422. But what happened to our
discussion of the cheeses?Copy !req
423. Sir, there's a bug on your shoulder.Copy !req
424. A bug!Copy !req
425. Alright.Copy !req
426. Sir, what time would you
like your cheese delivered?Copy !req
427. I tell you, I didn't order any cheese.Copy !req
428. You have the wrong number!Copy !req
429. Sir, can I borrow your car?Copy !req
430. Car?Copy !req
431. What happened to our discussion of
the socks and the cheeses and items?Copy !req
432. Duck!Copy !req
433. Alright, I ducked.Copy !req
434. But what was I trying to avoid?Copy !req
435. May I help you?Copy !req
436. You called me!Copy !req
437. You have the wrong number!Copy !req
438. Please hold for three hours.Copy !req
439. Hold for three hours?Copy !req
440. Alright.Copy !req
441. You have, though!Copy !req
442. You have the wrong number!Copy !req
443. There's nothing right about it!Copy !req
444. The digits you've
dialed are inaccurate!Copy !req
445. I can't feel my feet!Copy !req
446. And you!Copy !req
447. I'm damp and cold!Copy !req
448. And you have the wrong number!Copy !req
449. The Amanda Show will
be back in one minute.Copy !req
450. I got time for a bowl of soup.Copy !req
451. This seat is far superior.Copy !req
452. Hello, please.Copy !req
453. What?Copy !req
454. My name is Penelope Taint.Copy !req
455. Great.Copy !req
456. I just happen to be Amanda's
number one fan, please.Copy !req
457. Alright.Copy !req
458. See this?Copy !req
459. This sneaker once housed
Amanda's actual left foot.Copy !req
460. I found it when I was rooting
through Amanda's garbage.Copy !req
461. Interesting.Copy !req
462. I'm going to ask Amanda to
autograph it after the show.Copy !req
463. On the tongue.Copy !req
464. Would you like to sniff it?Copy !req
465. Not really.Copy !req
466. You're lost.Copy !req
467. That's good.Copy !req
468. I have my own Amanda website,
you know.Copy !req
469. - www.amandaplease.com.
- You know, I've been on the internet before.Copy !req
470. You're wasting my life.Copy !req
471. I'll show you my Amanda website,
please.Copy !req
472. Ok, www.amandaplease.com.
Alright, here's the homepage, please.Copy !req
473. Now, let's click on this item to see.Copy !req
474. Words that rhyme with Amanda.Copy !req
475. See?Copy !req
476. Amanda, a panda.Copy !req
477. That's a bear, please.Copy !req
478. The next rhyme is, Amanda, bandana.Copy !req
479. See it on the animal?Copy !req
480. Click again and we'll see.Copy !req
481. Amanda, banana.Copy !req
482. A yellowish fruit.Copy !req
483. So, I have a pretty impressive
Amanda website, wouldn't you agree?Copy !req
484. Ok.Copy !req
485. Sir, get off me, please.Copy !req
486. Sir, you're on my laptop.Copy !req
487. Sir, hello?Copy !req
488. Get off me.Copy !req
489. You're large.Copy !req
490. One request from the audience.Copy !req
491. Anyone?Copy !req
492. How about you?Copy !req
493. Yeah, Amanda,
I was hoping you could juggle for me.Copy !req
494. Sure, I can juggle.Copy !req
495. I wasn't done.Copy !req
496. I want you to juggle three clubs
while balancing a ladder on your face.Copy !req
497. You mean a little
step ladder like this?Copy !req
498. No, no.Copy !req
499. I mean a big ladder,
like a seven-footer.Copy !req
500. Ok, so you want me to
juggle three clubs whileCopy !req
501. balancing a really
large ladder on my face.Copy !req
502. I'd appreciate it.Copy !req
503. Ok.Copy !req
504. Hey, I'm Amanda.Copy !req
505. This won't be easy, but here we go.Copy !req
506. Ok, the show's over.Copy !req
507. I gotta go home.Copy !req
508. Amanda, please.Copy !req