1. Hello, Penelope.Copy !req
2. Hello, please.Copy !req
3. What are you doing?Copy !req
4. Cloning Amanda.Copy !req
5. You're gonna clone Amanda?Copy !req
6. Correct.Copy !req
7. You see this?Copy !req
8. This is an actual toenail
from Amanda's sweet foot.Copy !req
9. Sweet foot?Copy !req
10. This machine will use the toenail to
create an exact duplicate of Amanda.Copy !req
11. Where'd you find her toenail, please?Copy !req
12. In her garbage.Copy !req
13. See?Copy !req
14. I connected the toenail with these two
wires which will transmit the negativeCopy !req
15. toenail ions into this
radioactive furbilator.Copy !req
16. Then the toenail protons are
flooded with plutonium gas, please.Copy !req
17. Will you make me a sandwich?Copy !req
18. No.Copy !req
19. I must now create my very own Amanda,
please.Copy !req
20. Ready?Copy !req
21. Do you have another
pair of goggles for me?Copy !req
22. No.Copy !req
23. My rug, please!Copy !req
24. You're out!Copy !req
25. Please!Copy !req
26. No, I'm Drake.Copy !req
27. Wrong toenail!Copy !req
28. Where am I?Copy !req
29. Now will you make me a sandwich?Copy !req
30. Later, please!Copy !req
31. Buccanelli!Copy !req
32. Hey, that's my toenail.Copy !req
33. Look at that side!Copy !req
34. Bye-bye!Copy !req
35. Hey!Copy !req
36. Gimme!Copy !req
37. See ya!Copy !req
38. Shaboom!Copy !req
39. Cool guy!Copy !req
40. Love you, Dan!Copy !req
41. Coming!Copy !req
42. Boingy-de-boing!Copy !req
43. Look out!Copy !req
44. So the other day, my grandmother asked
me how to set her VCR to record, right?Copy !req
45. So I'm telling her and
then she's like, Amanda...Copy !req
46. I need to use the restroom.Copy !req
47. Would you mind watching my son?Copy !req
48. Actually, thanks.Copy !req
49. I love your show.Copy !req
50. What was I saying?Copy !req
51. Yeah.Copy !req
52. So my grandmother asked me why
the VCR's blinking 12 o'clock.Copy !req
53. Hi, Amanda.Copy !req
54. I have to go put some
money in the parking meter.Copy !req
55. Would you mind watching my dog for me?Copy !req
56. Appreciate it, appreciate it.Copy !req
57. Great show.Copy !req
58. Thanks.Copy !req
59. Well, what was I saying?Copy !req
60. Hey there, Amanda.Copy !req
61. Hi!Copy !req
62. I'm the warden over there to the men's
federal correctional penitentiary.Copy !req
63. You know, prison.Copy !req
64. Right.Copy !req
65. Prison.Copy !req
66. Listen, I've got to go take a bath.Copy !req
67. Would you mind looking after these
prisoners for me while I get back?Copy !req
68. Ashley, I can't... You're sure nice.Copy !req
69. Funny, too.Copy !req
70. Back in a flash.Copy !req
71. How you doing?Copy !req
72. How you doing?Copy !req
73. Amanda!Copy !req
74. Now what?Copy !req
75. Hi there, Amanda.Copy !req
76. What is that?Copy !req
77. That's a, grizzly bear.Copy !req
78. Some fighter, too.Copy !req
79. You wouldn't mind?Copy !req
80. Yes, I would.Copy !req
81. Forget the VCR story.Copy !req
82. Stick around,
I'll be back in a second.Copy !req
83. It's done!Copy !req
84. Cereal!Copy !req
85. Meatloaf!Copy !req
86. Cereal!Copy !req
87. Meatloaf!Copy !req
88. Can't you kids ever agree?Copy !req
89. Whoop-dee-dee!Copy !req
90. Have a bowl of me!Copy !req
91. Who are you?Copy !req
92. I'm Loaf!Copy !req
93. And I'm here to tell you about
my yumtastic new cereal...Copy !req
94. Meatloaf Crunch!Copy !req
95. Meatloaf Crunch?Copy !req
96. Yeah!Copy !req
97. Meatloaf, meatloaf,
chocolate meatloaf crunch!Copy !req
98. Meatloaf, meatloaf,
chocolate meatloaf crunch!Copy !req
99. It's turning the milk chocolatey!Copy !req
100. That ain't chocolate!Copy !req
101. That's gravy!Copy !req
102. And don't forget about
the prize inside!Copy !req
103. Yeah!Copy !req
104. I got lotion!Copy !req
105. I got a mouth trap!Copy !req
106. Hey, give me some meatloaf crunch!Copy !req
107. Whoop-dee-dee!Copy !req
108. Have a bowl of me!Copy !req
109. Hey, who's that?Copy !req
110. Hi, Dad!Copy !req
111. Meatloaf!Copy !req
112. You guys!Copy !req
113. Meatloaf, meatloaf,Copy !req
114. meatloaf, meatloaf,
meatloaf, meatloaf!Copy !req
115. Whoop-dee-dee!Copy !req
116. Have a bowl of me!Copy !req
117. Yeah!Copy !req
118. Meatloaf, meatloaf,
chocolate meatloaf crunch!Copy !req
119. Welcome to our video store!Copy !req
120. How may I be helping you?Copy !req
121. I rented this videotape
here and I am not happy!Copy !req
122. I'm Gnocchi Blocchi, the manager.Copy !req
123. Why are you to be not happy?Copy !req
124. I to be not happy because I rented the
movie Screams and this is not Screams!Copy !req
125. No, no, no!Copy !req
126. You not ask for screams,
you ask for screamings!Copy !req
127. Screamings?Copy !req
128. Just play the tape.Copy !req
129. Yeah, I get it.Copy !req
130. Do not worry, my children.Copy !req
131. It's only a movie.Copy !req
132. But he's so scary!Copy !req
133. What is that?Copy !req
134. That wasn't Screams.Copy !req
135. Yes, this movie better!Copy !req
136. Much better!Copy !req
137. This was my daughter
Blini and my son Biscotti.Copy !req
138. Your acting is horrendous.Copy !req
139. It's true!Copy !req
140. Thank you!Copy !req
141. And you'll be paying me!Copy !req
142. I'll pay you with this island curse!Copy !req
143. A tuna pekuna!Copy !req
144. Ashatosh!Copy !req
145. Hurry up!Copy !req
146. Papa,
what does this talk of tuna mean?Copy !req
147. I think this means it is Spanish
for I love your fine acting.Copy !req
148. Excuse me.Copy !req
149. I rented this movie here last
night and I was most disappointed.Copy !req
150. This is not Star Trek.Copy !req
151. No, no, no!Copy !req
152. Last night you not ask for Star Trek,
you ask for Star Drek!Copy !req
153. Star Drek?Copy !req
154. Yes, this is better!Copy !req
155. Much better!Copy !req
156. Negative!Copy !req
157. This is not better!Copy !req
158. Put that on screen!Copy !req
159. Yeah, I get it.Copy !req
160. Hello!Copy !req
161. We are in outer spaces!Copy !req
162. Yes, this frontier is final!Copy !req
163. I do not like you,
so I will huzz up you with my feather!Copy !req
164. Don't pay you there!Copy !req
165. Buzz!Copy !req
166. Owie!Copy !req
167. That hurts me pain!Copy !req
168. Now is time to beam up!Copy !req
169. Enterprise!Copy !req
170. Enterprise!Copy !req
171. Beam up me!Copy !req
172. That's not Star Trek!Copy !req
173. That's just you two refugees
pretending you should be arrested!Copy !req
174. It's true!Copy !req
175. Thank you!Copy !req
176. Would you like me to
sign my face for you?Copy !req
177. What kind of blockbuster
story is this?Copy !req
178. No, no, no, no!Copy !req
179. We are not blockbuster!Copy !req
180. We are blockblister!Copy !req
181. Blockblister?Copy !req
182. Yes!Copy !req
183. We better!Copy !req
184. Much better!Copy !req
185. I will be paying you!Copy !req
186. I won't!Copy !req
187. Live long and suffer!Copy !req
188. You guys met that new kid in school?Copy !req
189. What's her name?Copy !req
190. Wanda?Copy !req
191. Yeah, you know,
she's in my history class.Copy !req
192. I think she's a witch.Copy !req
193. Come on.Copy !req
194. There's no such thing as witches.Copy !req
195. She's coming!Copy !req
196. Hey!Copy !req
197. I'm whispering about... Just chillin'.Copy !req
198. Sorry I'm late, children.Copy !req
199. Take your seats.Copy !req
200. All right, today we'll be
discussing the Bill of Rights.Copy !req
201. I will put them on the board.Copy !req
202. What are you staring at, my dear?Copy !req
203. Wanda, are you a witch?Copy !req
204. Yeah, are you?Copy !req
205. No, I'm not a witch!Copy !req
206. Okay, then how do you explain
that nose and that wart?Copy !req
207. And what about your hat?Copy !req
208. I'm, from Canada.Copy !req
209. I think you're a witch.Copy !req
210. How dare you say that!Copy !req
211. Now you pay!Copy !req
212. Eyes of a newt!Copy !req
213. Fur of a dog!Copy !req
214. Turn this girl into a frog!Copy !req
215. Turn her into a frog!Copy !req
216. Stanley, why are you talking in class?Copy !req
217. Well, because Wanda's a witch.Copy !req
218. Young man, in this class we
do not call people names.Copy !req
219. But I seriously think Wanda's a witch.Copy !req
220. Again, he says it!Copy !req
221. Well, why on earth would
you call Wanda a witch?Copy !req
222. Well, look how she's dressed.Copy !req
223. And she just turned Melanie into
a frog and she brought her lunch.Copy !req
224. Lots of children bring
their lunch to school.Copy !req
225. In a cauldron?Copy !req
226. My young man,
not one more outburst, understood?Copy !req
227. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
228. Good.Copy !req
229. I will now turn my back and
continue writing on the board.Copy !req
230. So, Joey, would you like to
take me to the school dance?Copy !req
231. I don't think so.Copy !req
232. Then fear my wrath!Copy !req
233. Treacherous night, so dark and silly!Copy !req
234. Turn this boy into a bowl of chili!Copy !req
235. Did you see that chili?Copy !req
236. What now?Copy !req
237. Wanda is a witch.Copy !req
238. I am not!Copy !req
239. Then how did you just turn
Joey into a bowl of chili?Copy !req
240. How do you know Joey wasn't already
a bowl of chili when he got here?Copy !req
241. What?Copy !req
242. Why don't you just
admit you're a witch?Copy !req
243. I'm simply Canadian.Copy !req
244. Class, we do not accuse Canadians
of things without proof.Copy !req
245. Proof?Copy !req
246. Look, hat, frog, chili,
cauldron, what do you want?Copy !req
247. Ms. Carter,
you're making me feel all bad.Copy !req
248. Wanda, I'm sorry.Copy !req
249. Class, since you can't behave,
I am going to give you a pop quiz.Copy !req
250. Pop quiz?Copy !req
251. No need for rain!Copy !req
252. No need for snow to
stop this pop quiz!Copy !req
253. Let the witch win through!Copy !req
254. Call maintenance, have them check
out that darn air conditioner.Copy !req
255. Ms. Carter,
it isn't the air conditioning.Copy !req
256. Wanda's a witch.Copy !req
257. Ms. Carter!Copy !req
258. Stanley, no one else in the
class thinks Wanda's a witch.Copy !req
259. Yeah, we do.Copy !req
260. Thieves and robbers and freaks and
tramps, turn these people into lamps!Copy !req
261. I didn't get my points,
you just turned them all into lamps.Copy !req
262. Well, it could be a coincidence.Copy !req
263. Man.Copy !req
264. Wanda,
would you run and get janitor Manfred?Copy !req
265. I want him to take a look
at the air conditioning.Copy !req
266. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
267. Okay, did you see that?Copy !req
268. She's flying a broom.Copy !req
269. I'm telling you,
she's a witch, a witch!Copy !req
270. Now do you believe she's a witch?Copy !req
271. Could be.Copy !req
272. It's time for a huge round!Copy !req
273. Who's later?Copy !req
274. Crocodile bone!Copy !req
275. Crocodile bone who?Copy !req
276. I'm gonna hit you in the
head with crocodile bone!Copy !req
277. That's good.Copy !req
278. Pardon me, person.Copy !req
279. Yeah?Copy !req
280. Do you work here on The Amanda Show?Copy !req
281. Yeah, I'm the prop guy, see?Copy !req
282. Prop, boom.Copy !req
283. Props on The Amanda Show, please.Copy !req
284. Yep, this is where I keep
all the props for the show.Copy !req
285. Here are Judge Trudy's glasses.Copy !req
286. Here's a tape from a blockbuster.Copy !req
287. Here's a rocker by Ralph.Copy !req
288. And there's her remote
control underpants.Copy !req
289. I must have these items, please.Copy !req
290. You can't have these props.Copy !req
291. Of course you can have these props.Copy !req
292. Of course you can have these props.Copy !req
293. You deserve these props because you're
Amanda's number one fan, please.Copy !req
294. You deserve these props because you're
Amanda's number one fan, please.Copy !req
295. I'd love to see your website,
www.amandaplease.com.Copy !req
296. I'd love to see your website,
www.amandaplease.com.Copy !req
297. Well, since you asked.Copy !req
298. View my laptop.Copy !req
299. Here's the homepage,
which I modify frequently, please.Copy !req
300. This week, I'm featuring a new
game called Hillbilly Whacking.Copy !req
301. See the hillbillies?Copy !req
302. Well, if you log on to
www.amandaplease.com,Copy !req
303. you can make the girl hillbilly
whack the boy hillbilly.Copy !req
304. Like this.Copy !req
305. Whack, please.Copy !req
306. Whack, please.Copy !req
307. Whack, please.Copy !req
308. That felt good.Copy !req
309. Now, let's view the...Copy !req
310. Watch as Amanda corrects
a mistaken umbrella.Copy !req
311. You are wrong, umbrella!Copy !req
312. She certainly told that
umbrella a thing or two.Copy !req
313. Now, back to the homepage for
many more Amanda clickable items.Copy !req
314. That may be the best darn
website I've ever seen.Copy !req
315. No please.Copy !req
316. LetCopy !req
317. me help you get those props
over to your bike, please.Copy !req
318. Now, let me help you get those
props over to your bike, please.Copy !req
319. Excellent.Copy !req
320. Excellent.Copy !req
321. Stop repeating what I say, please.Copy !req
322. Stop repeating what I say, please.Copy !req
323. Quit it!Copy !req
324. Sorry.Copy !req
325. Like,Copy !req
326. this lucky sock.Copy !req
327. I was, like, wearing it when I found this
sandwich, you know, just lying around.Copy !req
328. So, the sock was obviously lucky.Copy !req
329. But then, one night, I was spending the
night over at my friend Topher's house,Copy !req
330. and I, like, lost it.Copy !req
331. You know, sock.Copy !req
332. Okay.Copy !req
333. That's it!Copy !req
334. Excuse me, may I have your attention?Copy !req
335. Thank you.Copy !req
336. I am so sorry to
announce that our regularCopy !req
337. musicians will not be
able to perform tonight.Copy !req
338. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
339. But we are very lucky to have
gotten a replacement music act.Copy !req
340. So, please welcome Melody Warbell
and her guitar player, Thad.Copy !req
341. Thank you, thanks very much.Copy !req
342. I'm Melody.Copy !req
343. Thank you.Copy !req
344. I'm Thad.Copy !req
345. Are you all enjoying your dinner?Copy !req
346. Great, terrific.Copy !req
347. I'm Thad.Copy !req
348. All right,
let's not waste any more time here.Copy !req
349. How about a song, Thad?Copy !req
350. Sounds good, Melody.Copy !req
351. All right, I think you'll enjoy this.Copy !req
352. It's about people just like
you eating in a restaurant.Copy !req
353. And one, two...Copy !req
354. One time I ate in a restaurant The food
was disgusting and bad The spaghetti hadCopy !req
355. fungus The rats were humongous And the
waitress threw up on my desk And myCopy !req
356. brother, he ordered a chicken breast It
smelled and was starting to rot And theCopy !req
357. meatloaf had worms And the gravy had germs
And it tasted like somebody's snot BringCopy !req
358. me a bag, I am vomitin' Excuse me,
I am so sorry.Copy !req
359. I think maybe it would be better if you
did not sing songs about vomiting and snot.Copy !req
360. Why not?Copy !req
361. Well, the people here are
trying to eat their dinner.Copy !req
362. Could you sing another song?Copy !req
363. Sure.Copy !req
364. Okay.Copy !req
365. You know, there's a little girl
over there celebrating her birthday.Copy !req
366. Could you sing something for her?Copy !req
367. Sure.Copy !req
368. Whose birthday is it today?Copy !req
369. There she is.Copy !req
370. Come along, Dad.Copy !req
371. Hello, little birthday girl.Copy !req
372. What's your name?Copy !req
373. Rebecca Fumet.Copy !req
374. And this is my mom and dad.Copy !req
375. And these are my best friends.Copy !req
376. How nice.Copy !req
377. Would you like to hear
a little birthday song?Copy !req
378. Yeah.Copy !req
379. It's your birthday today, that's what I've
been told You're another day older andCopy !req
380. you're still getting old So you've been
living out in the street Cause your mamaCopy !req
381. don't love you and you got smelly feet
You've been living in a good house AllCopy !req
382. cold and alone You won't got no friends
cause you ain't got no phone So happyCopy !req
383. birthday loser, loser, you're a loser
Happy birthday loser, loser, you're aCopy !req
384. loser Living in the street all cold and
alone Your mama don't love you and...Copy !req
385. Your song is upsetting the children.Copy !req
386. How do you mean?Copy !req
387. What are you trying to say?Copy !req
388. Just... Could you sing something else?Copy !req
389. Sure.Copy !req
390. How about a country song?Copy !req
391. OK, Dad, this is a little song
called I Wish I Had Some Hair.Copy !req
392. Well, look who's bald You got no hair
You're terribly bald I do declare Bald,Copy !req
393. bald, you're very bald Hair, hair, it
just ain't fair Well, look who's bald ICopy !req
394. think it's you Don't
you wish you had hair?Copy !req
395. I bet you do But you ain't
got no hair No hair atCopy !req
396. all Look at you, fellas,
you're terribly bald WhereCopy !req
397. are you going with those props?Copy !req
398. - Sir, my name is Pelvey Taint.
- Yeah, I know, Amanda's number one fan.Copy !req
399. Correct! I'm taking these props to my home,
please. Once there, I will keep some forCopy !req
400. myself and I will give the rest of them
away to other Amanda fans via my AmandaCopy !req
401. - website, www.amandaplease.com. - You
can't give away these props on your website!Copy !req
402. They belong to The Amanda Show!Copy !req
403. This security guard thinks
he's a security guard.Copy !req
404. He thinks your mother
resembles a large cow!Copy !req
405. My mother is not a large cow!Copy !req
406. I never said that!Copy !req
407. I heard what you said!Copy !req
408. I never said that about your mother!Copy !req
409. I never said that about your mother!Copy !req
410. What about your mother?Copy !req
411. She's the one!Copy !req
412. See you, Lee-Will!Copy !req
413. - We saw nothing.
- Right.Copy !req