1. Thank you!Copy !req
2. Thanks for coming!Copy !req
3. All right, my name is... Man.Copy !req
4. Where the heck is everyone?Copy !req
5. Hey, what time do lobsters have?Copy !req
6. Man, I got to get this thing fixed.Copy !req
7. Boring.Copy !req
8. Carpet smells!Copy !req
9. Bye -bye!Copy !req
10. Hey!Copy !req
11. Howdy, actors!Copy !req
12. Gimme!Copy !req
13. See ya!Copy !req
14. Cool guys!Copy !req
15. Love you, Dan!Copy !req
16. Boinkety-boink!Copy !req
17. Look out!Copy !req
18. Just kidding!Copy !req
19. No, I was serious!Copy !req
20. Y'all get a free car!Copy !req
21. Okay, you guys are not gonna believe
what happened to me yesterday when I...Copy !req
22. Hey, where you guys going?Copy !req
23. There's a fire!Copy !req
24. A big fire!Copy !req
25. Gotta go put it out!Copy !req
26. Love you, show!Copy !req
27. Come on, guys!Copy !req
28. Sorry about that!Copy !req
29. Anyway, so I'm on my way
to the supermarket, right?Copy !req
30. To get some dental floss.Copy !req
31. And I was halfway there when...Copy !req
32. Hey, where you nuns going?Copy !req
33. To get some burritos!Copy !req
34. Burrito!Copy !req
35. Burrito!Copy !req
36. Come on, sisters!Copy !req
37. Okay, that was weird.Copy !req
38. Anyway, so I'm filled
with seafood gumbo when...Copy !req
39. Hey, vitamin C!Copy !req
40. Where you going?Copy !req
41. To get a burrito with the nuns.Copy !req
42. Hey, we come back and do a song later?Copy !req
43. Sure, later.Copy !req
44. But now, burrito!Copy !req
45. Come on, before the nuns eat them all.Copy !req
46. Cool!Copy !req
47. Okay,
you guys are here on a great night!Copy !req
48. We got comedy, we got vitamin C,
we got nuns and burritos!Copy !req
49. So stick around,
I'll be back in a second to do stuff!Copy !req
50. H-I-P-P-O... P-O-T-A-M-U-S?Copy !req
51. Right!Copy !req
52. Hello?Copy !req
53. Yeah, is your refrigerator running?Copy !req
54. Yeah, I think so.Copy !req
55. Then you better go catch it!Copy !req
56. Man, I hate prank phone calls.Copy !req
57. Ditto!Copy !req
58. First, there was call return.Copy !req
59. Next, there was caller ID.Copy !req
60. Now, there's...Copy !req
61. Call Zap!Copy !req
62. Let's call Zap him!Copy !req
63. Hello?Copy !req
64. Hello?Copy !req
65. Hello?Copy !req
66. Call Zap!Copy !req
67. Prankers, beware.Copy !req
68. Put your beef in the
hands of Judge Trudy.Copy !req
69. Okay.Copy !req
70. Bottoms up!Copy !req
71. Sit, sit, sit, sit.Copy !req
72. Now, let's begin with our first case,
which is... One moment here.Copy !req
73. You're but a mere child,
and you're the judge.Copy !req
74. Man, unless this kumquat wants
to know if I'm the judge!Copy !req
75. Yes, he's a judge.Copy !req
76. You got a problem with that?Copy !req
77. Not really.Copy !req
78. Now that we've got that cleared up,
Ross Appleton, I understandCopy !req
79. you have a complaint against
Mr. Wacky Hat over here.Copy !req
80. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
81. I am a zookeeper.Copy !req
82. This hat is part of my uniform.Copy !req
83. This gavel's gonna be part of you
if you don't shut your crumpet hole!Copy !req
84. Ross, proceed.Copy !req
85. Well,
that man kicked me out of the zoo!Copy !req
86. I say, Judge Trudy, these children are
throwing dirty, odiferous socks at me!Copy !req
87. Hey, what?Copy !req
88. I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Zookeeper.Copy !req
89. Approach the bench, please.Copy !req
90. Yes?Copy !req
91. How's that bruise on your head?Copy !req
92. Bruise?Copy !req
93. I don't have a bruise on my head.Copy !req
94. Really, you do?Copy !req
95. Head, bruise, it was a trick.Copy !req
96. Now, Ross, please tell the
court what this man did to you.Copy !req
97. Well, I was watching the tigers,
and they just looked so bored and sad,Copy !req
98. so I just thought I would...
Watching the tigers?Copy !req
99. He released all the
animals from their cages.Copy !req
100. You must have seen something
about it on the telly.Copy !req
101. There were monkeys and tigers and
penguins running loose around the city.Copy !req
102. Maybe he thought the animals
could use a little exercise.Copy !req
103. Yeah, exercise.Copy !req
104. Exercise?Copy !req
105. A hippopotamus squashed a taxi cab.Copy !req
106. A zebra took a tinkle on a taco stand.Copy !req
107. So?Copy !req
108. This is preposterous.Copy !req
109. Why am I being sued?Copy !req
110. I object.Copy !req
111. Overruled!Copy !req
112. Ross, how much did you pay
for your ticket to the zoo?Copy !req
113. $3.Copy !req
114. Then I hereby find in favor of the
plaintiff, Ross Appleton, for... $22,000.Copy !req
115. $22,000?Copy !req
116. I'm not paying this hooligan a single
dime, or anything else for that matter.Copy !req
117. Then this bailiff will have to put
an angry chipmunk down your pants.Copy !req
118. Where's he going to
get an angry chipmunk?Copy !req
119. Down my trousers.Copy !req
120. That feels quite strange.Copy !req
121. Actually, that's quite nasty.Copy !req
122. Next case!Copy !req
123. Here come our next litigants.Copy !req
124. I bet one of them trips.Copy !req
125. Told you.Copy !req
126. Now, Loretta Stanton,
please tell the court why you're here.Copy !req
127. Well, I was doing my homework for art
class, and my mama took away my paints.Copy !req
128. I had a good reason.Copy !req
129. What?Copy !req
130. I can't hear with your
face all wrapped up.Copy !req
131. Bailiff,
do you wrap this woman's head?Copy !req
132. You know I will.Copy !req
133. What the heck happened to you?Copy !req
134. She painted my head orange.Copy !req
135. And do you have any proof that
she painted your head orange?Copy !req
136. Proof?Copy !req
137. Look at my orange head.Copy !req
138. Orange happens to be
her favorite color.Copy !req
139. But not on my face.Copy !req
140. One more interruption out of you
and I'll paint your butt orange.Copy !req
141. It's already orange.Copy !req
142. I thought it should match her face.Copy !req
143. Mrs. Stanton,
if you didn't want to be orange, thenCopy !req
144. why did you allow this
girl to paint you as such?Copy !req
145. I was asleep on the couch.Copy !req
146. I don't want to hear your life story.Copy !req
147. But my face is orange.Copy !req
148. From the looks of it,
I'd say it's an improvement.Copy !req
149. Now look!Copy !req
150. No!Copy !req
151. Look!Copy !req
152. No!Copy !req
153. Look!Copy !req
154. No!Copy !req
155. You sure don't look it.Copy !req
156. High five, you fan of the plaintiff!Copy !req
157. What this mess?Copy !req
158. Bring in the dancing lobsters.Copy !req
159. Mom!Copy !req
160. Dad!Copy !req
161. What's wrong, honey?Copy !req
162. I can't sleep.Copy !req
163. The thunder is loud and
the lightning is bright.Copy !req
164. So bright.Copy !req
165. We brought you a little surprise
that'll help you sleep, honey.Copy !req
166. Indeed.Copy !req
167. What is it?Copy !req
168. It's Rockabye Ralph.Copy !req
169. Rockabye Ralph?Copy !req
170. Who's that?Copy !req
171. It's a doll, sweetie.Copy !req
172. A doll that'll help you sleep.Copy !req
173. Squeeze his gut.Copy !req
174. Okay.Copy !req
175. I love you.Copy !req
176. Time to go sleepy.Copy !req
177. He's so cute.Copy !req
178. Thanks, Mom.Copy !req
179. Dad.Copy !req
180. Nighty-night, honey.Copy !req
181. Good night.Copy !req
182. Good night, Rockabye Ralph.Copy !req
183. Good night.Copy !req
184. Sweet dreams.Copy !req
185. I love you.Copy !req
186. I love you.Copy !req
187. Sleep tight.Copy !req
188. Don't let the bedbugs bite.Copy !req
189. Thanks, Rockabye Ralph.Copy !req
190. Good night.Copy !req
191. Bedtime is fun time.Copy !req
192. Okay.Copy !req
193. Just close your eyes and sleep,
sleep, sleep.Copy !req
194. Okay.Copy !req
195. Sleep, sleep, sleep.Copy !req
196. Yeah.Copy !req
197. Snooze, snooze, snooze.Copy !req
198. Go to bed now.Copy !req
199. I'm trying, okay?Copy !req
200. Go to sleep.Copy !req
201. Close your eyes.Copy !req
202. Sleep, sleep, sleep.Copy !req
203. Will you be quiet?Copy !req
204. Sleep, sleep, sleep.Copy !req
205. Sleep, sleep, sleep.Copy !req
206. Sleep, sleep, sleep.Copy !req
207. Where are your batteries?Copy !req
208. There.Copy !req
209. Now I can get some sleep.Copy !req
210. Good night, Rockabye Ralph.Copy !req
211. Time to go to sleep.Copy !req
212. Sleepy, sleepy.Copy !req
213. I'm trying to go to sleep.Copy !req
214. Maybe I could sleep if you
quit making so much noise.Copy !req
215. Nighttime is sleepy time.Copy !req
216. That does it.Copy !req
217. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.Copy !req
218. There.Copy !req
219. Now who's sleeping?Copy !req
220. Night, Rockabye Ralph.Copy !req
221. Nighty, night, night.Copy !req
222. Time for sleeping.Copy !req
223. That does it.Copy !req
224. Good night, Rockabye Ralph.Copy !req
225. Go to sleep now.Copy !req
226. It's beddy-bye time.Copy !req
227. All right.Copy !req
228. Okay, I've had it.Copy !req
229. Now you're gonna get it.Copy !req
230. Out of gas.Copy !req
231. I know.Copy !req
232. Scooper!Copy !req
233. Here, boy!Copy !req
234. Now I can get some sleep.Copy !req
235. Go to sleep.Copy !req
236. Close your eyes.Copy !req
237. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.Copy !req
238. Things will be all right.Copy !req
239. Rock-a-bye.Copy !req
240. Rock-a-bye.Copy !req
241. Rock-a-bye.Copy !req
242. Ever young.Copy !req
243. GiveCopy !req
244. me my net, please.Copy !req
245. Because you dropped it on me.Copy !req
246. Who are you, please?Copy !req
247. I'm vitamin C.Copy !req
248. I don't have a cold.Copy !req
249. I have a hang green Amanda.Copy !req
250. Can you get this net off of me?Copy !req
251. No.Copy !req
252. Since you are ensnared, you should take
this opportunity to view my Amanda website.Copy !req
253. What website?Copy !req
254. www.amandaplease.com.Copy !req
255. View it.Copy !req
256. Here's the home page,
which I update frequently, please.Copy !req
257. This week, I'm featuring my all-new
Judge Trudy yap-o-matic game.Copy !req
258. Now you can enjoy Judge Trudy
in the privacy of your own home.Copy !req
259. After you play,
you must take my Penelope pollCopy !req
260. and tell me your thoughts
about the Amanda show.Copy !req
261. After you've been polled, you can view
the Amanda video clip of the week.Copy !req
262. Watch as Amanda dances with
bananas on a public street.Copy !req
263. I love it when Amanda
dances with fruits.Copy !req
264. Please.Copy !req
265. I have to admit that that's the
most amazing website I've seen.Copy !req
266. Please.Copy !req
267. Over there!Copy !req
268. The Penelope girl!Copy !req
269. I must run!Copy !req
270. Literally!Copy !req
271. Hey, wait a second.Copy !req
272. I want to see some
more of that website.Copy !req
273. From his garage, it's Totally Kyle!Copy !req
274. One time, I, like,
couldn't find the cordless phone.Copy !req
275. So my mom was all, Hey,
where's the cordless phone?Copy !req
276. And I was like, I don't know.Copy !req
277. And then, like, the cordless phone started
ringing and ringing and, like, ringing.Copy !req
278. So I, like, looked under my pillow
and, like, I never found it.Copy !req
279. That was Totally Kyle!Copy !req
280. Totally!Copy !req
281. Come in!Copy !req
282. Hi!Copy !req
283. You have a cold.Copy !req
284. Here you go.Copy !req
285. I know what you need.Copy !req
286. Your minimum daily
requirement of vitamin C!Copy !req
287. That I can depend on!Copy !req
288. And well, he was the type that never left
me alone Until I really needed to reachCopy !req
289. him on the telephone He was nowhere to
be found, he's hanging out with the boysCopy !req
290. Driving around the city in his pretty
new toy Never gonna get it togetherCopy !req
291. - Never gonna make it much better
- Should I stay or should I go?Copy !req
292. Because I really need to know
Or do I stick around and cry?Copy !req
293. Because now it's time to say goodbye
Please, baby, please, baby I ain't gotCopy !req
294. nobody That I can depend on Just me,
myselfCopy !req
295. and I I ain't got nobody
That I can depend onCopy !req
296. Then there was the one who couldn't make
up his mind He's always dragging everyCopy !req
297. jiggy on the checkout line He told me,
baby, I'm just looking But I never wouldCopy !req
298. touch him Then I catch him with Alicia at
the back of the bus Never gonna get anyCopy !req
299. better Never gonna get it togetherCopy !req
300. Should I stay or should I go?Copy !req
301. Because I really need to know
Or do I stick around and cry?Copy !req
302. Because now it's time to say goodbye
Please, baby, please, baby I ain't gotCopy !req
303. nobody That I can depend on Just me,
myself and I I ain't got nobody That I canCopy !req
304. depend on Just me, myself and I I ain't
got nobody That I can depend on I said me,Copy !req
305. myself and I I ain't got nobody Two,
four, six, eight.Copy !req
306. Why don't you appreciate it?Copy !req
307. Nobody that I can depend on.Copy !req
308. Just me, myself, and I.Copy !req
309. I ain't got nobody
that I can depend on.Copy !req
310. I said me, myself, and I.Copy !req
311. I ain't got nobody
that I can depend on.Copy !req
312. Just me, myself, and I.Copy !req
313. I ain't got nobody
that I can depend on.Copy !req
314. I'm playing in my neighborhood!Copy !req
315. Hello?Copy !req
316. Yes, is this the lady of the house?Copy !req
317. No, there's no lady here.Copy !req
318. I'm Mr. Oldman.Copy !req
319. How are you, ma'am?Copy !req
320. Ma'am?Copy !req
321. I said, I'm Mr. Oldman.Copy !req
322. May I speak with Mr. Oldman?Copy !req
323. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
324. This is your cousin, Taba McNoonoo.Copy !req
325. Well, hello, Taba McNoonoo.Copy !req
326. I don't have no cousin
named Taba McNoonoo.Copy !req
327. What time would you want
me to wash your dog?Copy !req
328. Dog?Copy !req
329. My dog left me years ago.Copy !req
330. You have the wrong number.Copy !req
331. Your dog needs a bath, sir.Copy !req
332. A bath?Copy !req
333. But I have no dog.Copy !req
334. How can you bathe what don't exist?Copy !req
335. Please, make a noise like a sheep.Copy !req
336. I don't want to make
a noise like a sheep.Copy !req
337. Hello?Copy !req
338. You have the wrong number.Copy !req
339. Sir, be very quiet.Copy !req
340. All right.Copy !req
341. Listen closely.Copy !req
342. I'm listening.Copy !req
343. Boo!Copy !req
344. Hello?Copy !req
345. Why did you scare me
with your call of boo?Copy !req
346. You have the wrong number.Copy !req
347. Hello?Copy !req
348. The number you dialed wrong.Copy !req
349. Hello?Copy !req
350. Why did they cancel Bonanza?Copy !req
351. Hello?Copy !req
352. Are you guys having fun tonight?Copy !req
353. You guys want to have
a talent contest?Copy !req
354. Who wants to go first?Copy !req
355. Me!Copy !req
356. You!Copy !req
357. Come on down.Copy !req
358. Hi,Copy !req
359. what's your name?Copy !req
360. Ernie Morton.Copy !req
361. Hi, Ernie.Copy !req
362. What's your talent?Copy !req
363. I can balance a hat on my head.Copy !req
364. Okay.Copy !req
365. I'm going to have to
see it to believe it.Copy !req
366. Drum roll.Copy !req
367. Who next?Copy !req
368. Me!Copy !req
369. You!Copy !req
370. Come on down.Copy !req
371. Hi, what's your name?Copy !req
372. Rebecca Fiume.Copy !req
373. Hi, Rebecca Fiume.Copy !req
374. What's your talent?Copy !req
375. Well,
I can put salt on a hard-boiled egg.Copy !req
376. Come on.Copy !req
377. No, seriously.Copy !req
378. Watch this.Copy !req
379. I mean.Copy !req
380. Stand over there.Copy !req
381. That's going to be
really tough to beat.Copy !req
382. Does anybody want to
try to follow that?Copy !req
383. Me!Copy !req
384. You!Copy !req
385. Come on down.Copy !req
386. Hi, what's your name?Copy !req
387. Julie Marcadu.Copy !req
388. Hi, Julia.Copy !req
389. What's your talent?Copy !req
390. Well,
I can do some pretty cool gymnastics.Copy !req
391. Let's see some gymnastics.Copy !req
392. Okay,Copy !req
393. now the audience will pick a
winner by a show of applause.Copy !req
394. Line up, you guys.Copy !req
395. Okay,
now who votes for the hat balancer?Copy !req
396. And who votes for the egg salter?Copy !req
397. And who votes for
the gymnastics chick?Copy !req
398. Okay, it looks like our winner
is Rebecca Fiume, the egg salter!Copy !req
399. Can I win anything?Copy !req
400. Sure.Copy !req
401. Here's $1,000.Copy !req
402. Thanks!Copy !req
403. Sure!Copy !req
404. Let's hear it for our contestants!Copy !req
405. Okay, before we go, let's hear it one
more time for my good pal, Vitamin C!Copy !req
406. Thanks for doing the show.Copy !req
407. Anytime.Copy !req
408. Well, that's all we got.Copy !req
409. We gotta go take a cruise to Hawaii!Copy !req
410. See ya!Copy !req
411. Aloha!Copy !req
412. Amanda, please!Copy !req