The Amanda Show 1x11

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Penelope uses a homemade robot to finally infiltrate The Amanda Show, and what better day than Amanda's birthday? Inside the robot is also her brother who won't stop asking for a sandwitch. Also The Klutz Family get there hands on some priceless, irreplaceable, art in a museum.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Here, let's try this side door.

2. Okay, Penelope.

3. Yeah?

4. Hello, sir.

5. My name is Penelope Taint.

6. My younger sibling and I would like to enter these premises.

7. Locked.

8. But I wanted to let you in, Penelope.

9. Just get in the van.

10. Alright, Preston.

11. Help me set this outside, please.

12. But what is it, please?

13. It's a robot.

14. What is it for?

15. It will help me locate Amanda so I can finally make her acquaintance, please.

16. But what is it... Just get in the van.

17. Doors!

18. Observe.

19. I will now activate my robot.

20. Put

21. my robot into position, please.

22. Okay, Penelope.

23. What is this thing?

24. Hello?

25. What are you?

26. Sweet dreams, guardsmen!

27. We're in, Preston!

28. We're in!

29. My robot will now locate Amanda!

30. Will you make me a sandwich?

31. No, please.

32. Boring!

33. You've got to believe!

34. Bye-bye!

35. Boing-a-boing-a-boing!

36. I'm really excited to be here tonight because I get to play a lot of...

37. For she's a jolly good fellow!

38. For she's a jolly good fellow!

39. For she's a jolly good fellow!

40. Which nobody can deny!

41. Happy birthday!

42. But it's not my birthday.

43. I thought it was her birthday.

44. Be dumber.

45. Sorry, Amanda.

46. No, wait, come on, Amanda.

47. Why don't you make a wish anyway?

48. There.

49. So what'd you wish for?

50. She can't tell.

51. Then it won't come true.

52. I can tell you what she wished for.

53. A cute guy.

54. I did not wish for a cute guy.

55. I'm here for Amanda.

56. Hey, I thought you didn't wish for a cute guy.

57. I did.

58. Hey, I'm here for Amanda.

59. So you wished for two cute guys.

60. No.

61. She's really do come true.

62. So stick around.

63. We'll be back in a second.

64. It is stuff.

65. This car is lame.

66. I hate this truck.

67. Hey, you guys.

68. Let's race pizza!

69. Race?

70. Pizza?

71. Race pizza?

72. Pizza-riffing!

73. Mushrooms and onions.

74. Let's race!

75. Yeah, let's!

76. I'm gonna win!

77. I'm gonna win!

78. Hey, boys.

79. Nothing beats pepperoni.

80. That's a good vehicle.

81. How fast is your pizza?

82. Hello,

83. and welcome to the Museum of Irreplaceable Items.

84. Can I help you?

85. Hi, I'm Katie Clutch.

86. You're holding tickets for my family, the Clutzes.

87. Here you are.

88. Thanks.

89. Can I have a family?

90. Give me mine.

91. Not a problem.

92. Hi, my name is Tori.

93. I'll be your tour guide through the museum.

94. Hi, we're the Clutzes.

95. Yes.

96. This way.

97. All right.

98. Now, this case contains items found at an ancient Indian burial ground.

99. These are very old and very rare.

100. I want to get a closer look at those items.

101. Not a problem.

102. Hey, family, can you help me out of this case?

103. Not a problem.

104. Not a problem.

105. Over here, we have a very interesting display

106. of a small dinosaur known as the Tenisaurus.

107. The only one of its kind.

108. Not a problem.

109. It is a problem.

110. Let's move on.

111. That's my cell phone.

112. Not a problem.

113. Excuse me.

114. These shelves are filled with rare, fragile glass objects.

115. These were all made by Abraham Lincoln when he was a boy.

116. Abraham Lincoln made all these?

117. Yes, he did.

118. Mom, phone's for you!

119. Toss it here, sweetie.

120. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

121. Not a problem.

122. It is a huge problem.

123. So, what other items do you have for us to see?

124. Well, take a look at this.

125. This is a suit of armor worn exclusively by George Washington.

126. It's armor.

127. Very difficult to destroy.

128. Is it heavy?

129. Yes, it's heavy.

130. Please, put that down.

131. No, this

132. is...

133. Not a problem.

134. Dad, Dad, there's a fly in here.

135. A fly?

136. Well, we better get it before it damages some of these items.

137. Please, don't forget the fly.

138. No, we'll kill it.

139. Family, everyone grab something to hit the fly with.

140. Okay.

141. Okay.

142. You've destroyed everything.

143. Yes, but at least the building's safe.

144. Scooper, here, boy, come on.

145. Can I please have my baby back?

146. Go fetch the ball.

147. Hey, can I get my leg back?

148. Thank you.

149. Now, go fetch the ball.

150. Monster?

151. I didn't ask for a monster.

152. I asked for the... monster?

153. And

154. I'm pretty on the inside and the outside.

155. I'm Sheila, don't get on my bad side.

156. I'm Tammy, I'm an exchange student from Tennessee.

157. My daddy sells sponges.

158. Her name is Debbie.

159. My name is Debbie.

160. You spell it D-E-Ebby.

161. That's great.

162. Now can you spell S-T-O-P-P-E-D?

163. I like eggs.

164. And for the love of Tennessee, can we please move on?

165. Okay, today's a very special day in the girls'

166. room because it's time for our first annual...

167. Girls' Choice Awards!

168. Okay, now the first Girls' Choice Award is for

169. the worst food ever served in the cafeteria.

170. And the nominees are... Sloppy Joes, Noodle Goo, Pork Loaf, and Fish Burgers.

171. And the award for the worst cafeteria food ever goes to... Foul Crops!

172. Pork Loaf!

173. And here to accept the award is our school cafeteria lady, Ms. Shapen.

174. Congratulations, Ms. Shapen, on your horrendous Pork Loaf.

175. I couldn't have done it without the pork.

176. Okay, bye!

177. See ya!

178. See ya!

179. Okay, now our next award is for the best cable TV show.

180. And the nominees are...

181. The Girls' Room, Good Morning Chess Club, Cookie with

182. Ms. Shapen, and Locker Room Hygiene with Coach Squattle.

183. And the award goes to... The Girls' Room!

184. Hey, it's a fix!

185. I wanna recount!

186. Sorry, Coach Squattle.

187. Holy cheese!

188. I'm in the Girls' Room!

189. Okay, now our final award goes to the most popular girl in school.

190. I wonder who will win.

191. Foul Crop!

192. Amber!

193. Amber!

194. Amber!

195. And Tina Capone?

196. And the winner is...

197. Tina Capone?

198. I'm sorry, Tina Capone cannot be here to accept this award.

199. But I'm Tina Capone.

200. I'm right here.

201. Sheila, come on.

202. Since Tina can't be here to accept this award, I

203. will be happy to accept the award on my behalf.

204. Okay, that's all the time.

205. I'm red.

206. I'm from Tennessee.

207. Knock knock!

208. Who's there?

209. Skunk who?

210. I'm gonna hit you in the head with a skunk!

211. That's good news!

212. I

213. think it's backstage somewhere, but I don't see Amanda yet.

214. Where's Amanda?

215. Amanda, please?

216. Amanda?

217. Amanda, please?

218. It's lobsters!

219. I'll speak to them.

220. Hello, lobsters.

221. Don't be alarmed, lobsters.

222. I mean you no harm.

223. This is the voice of Penelope Taint, Amanda's number one fan, please.

224. I have my own Amanda website, www.amandaplease.com.

225. I'll show it to you.

226. View my screen.

227. Here's the homepage where I'm currently

228. featuring my all new Amanda Fix the Pigs game.

229. I'll explain.

230. Click please.

231. See?

232. These are ripped up pieces of an actual photo of Amanda.

233. I found them in Amanda's trash can.

234. If you log on to www.amandaplease.com, you can reassemble this photo of Amanda

235. and view it on your home computer, please.

236. Now, I will show you the downloadable Amanda video clip of the week.

237. Watch as Amanda squirts aerosol powered cheese onto her sweet fist.

238. Look at that cheese ooze.

239. Keep going.

240. More cheese, please.

241. I'm enjoying this.

242. Alright, that's enough of that, please.

243. Now, back to the homepage where you can find

244. many more Amanda-tastic clickables to click upon.

245. Thank you, please.

246. Hey, there's the robot.

247. Get away from that robot.

248. It's that man.

249. Good eye, Preston, good eye.

250. But have no fear, anti-memory beam!

251. What was I doing?

252. Will you meet me at the out now?

253. No!

254. One time, I saw this, like, TV show that I really, really liked.

255. Because it had, like, this funny guy and this dog that was barking.

256. And he had this, like, really weird bark.

257. You know, it was all... Woof-a, woof-a!

258. Or something like that.

259. So, I wanted to watch that show again.

260. But I forgot what channel it was on.

261. Okay.

262. That was totally Kyle!

263. Totally!

264. Good evening, I'm Amanda.

265. You may remember me as Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch.

266. There's a tragedy sweeping the nation that deserves our attention.

267. The sad truth is, very few people know what to do when old ladies attack.

268. We've all heard about these terrifying attacks by old ladies.

269. But now, caught on videotape, you're about to actually witness

270. one of these actual events, just as it actually happened.

271. You see the man innocently washing his hands.

272. Now, watch the door.

273. The old ladies sneak in.

274. The man turns and tries to defend himself, but he's far too weak and pathetic.

275. The old ladies overpower him with purses and umbrellas.

276. Now, let's look at that attack again in slow motion.

277. The poor old man had just finished his lunch.

278. A tuna melt and large cream soda.

279. He thought he was safe in the men's room,

280. when out of nowhere, the old ladies attacked.

281. I had just finished my lunch.

282. A tuna melt and a large cream soda.

283. So, I'm in the men's room, washing my hands, when out of nowhere...

284. lo and behold, these crazy old ladies, they swoop in

285. with the attacking and the swatting and the bad language.

286. I was so frightened.

287. And my hands still smell of tuna.

288. Truly horrible.

289. Now, watch as a casual walk home from the movie

290. theaters suddenly turns into a crime scene.

291. A young couple was shooting home videos,

292. when a crazy old lady jumps into the picture.

293. She spots a homely woman carrying popcorn.

294. The old lady and her psycho friends knock the

295. woman to the ground and smack her relentlessly.

296. Let's look at that attack again in slow motion.

297. You see the psychotic old lady spot the homely woman and her popcorn.

298. She tries to run, but she's too slow and unattractive.

299. The old ladies knock her to the ground and give her a pocketbook pummeling.

300. I've been to a movie alone.

301. You see, I live alone.

302. Men don't really, you know, enjoy me.

303. So I was walking home, alone of course.

304. And then those crazy old ladies attacked.

305. Anyway, men out there.

306. Sad on so many levels.

307. If you witness an attack by old ladies, please call our emergency hotline.

308. 1-500-I-just-saw-old-ladies-attack-a

309. - person-so-now-I'm-calling-this-number-to - report -what-I-saw.

310. Great audience, I wish I could shake your hands and thank you all personally.

311. Heck, why not?

312. France for dinner, see ya!

313. Bye!

314. I see her!

315. I see Amanda, please!

316. Amanda,

317. back up the vehicle!

318. Stop it!

319. Why do I...

320. Nab it, please!

321. Will you make me a sandwich now?

322. Sorry.

323. Amanda, please.

324. Thanks for watching!