1. Got to blast!
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2. Help!
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3. Captioning sponsored
by NICKELODEON
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4. Welcome to planet
Schmengy...
uh, again.
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5. Don't worry,
Jimmy.
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6. I know where I left
my UltraLord last week
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7. when I was using
the facilities.
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8. Why not buy
a replacement, Sheen?
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9. Carl, every UltraLord is
precious in a different way.
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10. I think I left him
under that smelly rock.
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11. Huh? This wasn't here
last week.
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12. Interesting.
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13. Carl, scrape me a sample.
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14. Me?
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15. Don't worry,
I'll be monitoring
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16. from a safe distance.
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17. Oh, well,
in that case...
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18. Hah! There you are.
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19. From now on, you go
into the bathroom with me,
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20. even if you are embarrassed.
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21. Uh, Jimmy?
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22. I think I put too much oomph
in my scrape.
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23. Don't worry, Carl.
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24. I'm completely safe.
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25. Well, yeah, but...
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26. What, do I have something
on my lip?
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27. Uh... don't worry,
Carl.
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28. Everything's going
to be fine.
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29. Are you kidding?
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30. It's the most horrible
thing ever!
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31. Sheen!
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32. It's hideous!
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33. It's like a freak show!
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34. Sheen!
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35. Carl, we need to
leave the cave...
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36. You're
going to
leave me!
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37. Sheen! Then we'll head
back to Earth
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38. at light speed
or faster!
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39. Hmm, the creature is made
of energy,
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40. but cooled
and solidified
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41. in a process
both fascinating
and completely gross.
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42. Well, Carl, if you get pimples,
who's going to know?
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43. Uh, Jimmy, are you sure
I can't look at it?
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44. Uh, sorry, I don't have
a mirror.
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45. That's not true,
you have...
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46. Nope, I don't.
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47. Be quiet, Carl.
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48. I'm working on
getting it off.
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49. In the meantime, I'll help you
blend into society.
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50. Like so.
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51. Oh.
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52. How's that getting-it-off
thing coming?
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53. This should do
the trick.
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54. All right, it worked!
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55. Wow.
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56. Thanks, Jim.
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57. Whew, that was
a close one.
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58. I could use
a stiff shake
at the Candy Bar.
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59. Mmm, sounds good.
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60. But you know what
I really feel like?
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61. Carl, what are you eating?
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62. Well, I got this
sudden craving
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63. for a bowl
of ice cream,
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64. jalapeños,
dill pickles,
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65. strawberries,
salmon and lard.
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66. Yuck! Strawberries?
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67. Why are you both staring at me?
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68. Do I look fat to you?
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69. No, no.
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70. It just seems un...
unhealthy.
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71. I've always been
on the heavy side
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72. but I think I'm jolly!
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73. You shouldn't talk, big head!
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74. But we are what we are
and that's fine with me.
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75. That is the single coolest thing
I have ever seen.
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76. Back to the lab.
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77. Do it again, Carl!
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78. Back to the lab!
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79. All right!
You don't have to yell.
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80. It's just what I thought:
the strange appetite,
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81. the mood swings,
the glowing bulges.
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82. Carl, I don't know
how to say this,
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83. so I'll whisper it to Sheen
and he'll blurt it out.
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84. Carl is pregnant?
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85. What!
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86. Well, sort of.
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87. It's a living mass
of energy growing
inside you,
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88. placed there
by the alien
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89. that was on
your face.
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90. It happens
all the time.
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91. But I can't support
an alien child.
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92. I don't even have a job.
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93. Will you guys excuse me?
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94. I need time to think.
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95. This is so cool.
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96. Carl, when the alien
is old enough,
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97. can I take it on a rampage
of wanton destruction?
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98. If you're both back
before dark.
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99. Man! You already talk
like a parent.
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100. Chile pancake?
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101. Clam ball?
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102. Pork brownie?
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103. Good news, Carl.
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104. I know how to solve this
without harming either of you.
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105. Why are you nodding no?
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106. I've thought about it, Jim.
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107. If it's a boy,
I'll name him Schmengel
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108. and if it's a girl, Schmengetta.
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109. I want it to retain
its alien heritage.
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110. What?
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111. Yes! I'm going to be
an uncle!
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112. Is there an Alien
Uncle's Day?
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113. Mr. Wheezer, hi. Is Carl...
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114. Dead? No, he's here.
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115. We're preparing for the
pitter-patter of little, uh...
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116. whatever the alien's mode
of locomotion will be.
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117. Hi, Jimmy.
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118. Carl, this is insane.
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119. You need to come to the lab
for tests immediately.
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120. Hello, Jimmy.
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121. Isn't this exciting?
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122. We've always wanted
grandkids.
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123. Oh, we sure have.
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124. Even if it's not
so much a kid
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125. as a sizzling mass
of alien energy.
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126. Uh, Jimmy,
does that little
spark there mean
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127. it's a boy alien?
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128. I don't know!
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129. Carl, aren't
you worried?
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130. This thing might
feed off your insides
or electrocute you
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131. or grow until it
splits you in half.
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132. Yeah, kids can be
a handful.
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133. Hmm, this magnascope should be
linking with the alien's energy,
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134. but there's
interference.
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135. Is that a fat joke?
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136. Because if so,
it's pretty funny...
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137. and very hurtful.
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138. Oop, got to go.
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139. The girls are throwing me
a baby shower.
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140. Bye-bye.
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141. And stop looking at my calves!
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142. Oh, a jumper with six legs!
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143. Huh, is that
cute or what?
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144. We also got
the 20-leg
expansion pack
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145. in case it's born
with more.
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146. If it's a legless mass
of energy, I saved the receipt.
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147. Oh, thanks, gals.
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148. I should have been implanted
with an alien growth long ago.
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149. Okay, game time.
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150. First we're going to play
diaper-baby-around-its-tail!
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151. It may not have
a tail,
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152. but it can't hurt
to practice.
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153. Carl, I've got the magnascope
to link with the alien
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154. with no harm to it or you.
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155. Um, thanks, Jimmy,
but I'm in mid-shower.
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156. Carl, you're in danger,
and the last thing you need
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157. is to be fawned over
by a bunch of girls.
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158. Who wants
clotted cream
with their scones?
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159. Uh... this is much
more masculine
than it looks.
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160. Nerdtron, you're not
an authority on babies
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161. just because you are one!
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162. Sorry, I'm trying
to prevent my friend
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163. from becoming
a smoldering pile of slag.
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164. Would you pass
the scones?
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165. Why, I'd
be delighted.
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166. Fine!
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167. If you need help
sweeping up Carl's ashes,
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168. I'll be in my lab.
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169. Boy, he's in a bad mood, huh?
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170. He's just jealous because I'm
getting all the attention!
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171. What other games do you have?
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172. Hey, what's up
with the lights?
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173. Hey, Jimmy, wait up.
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174. Holy Herculaneum.
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175. It's made of the same energy
as the thing inside Carl.
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176. No! The alien monsters
have come to punish us
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177. for invading
their planet!
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178. A plan I was against,
by the way.
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179. No, it's looking for something.
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180. Unless I miss my guess,
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181. that's the mom
of the alien in Carl,
come to claim her baby.
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182. Whoa.
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183. Get the girls
out of the house,
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184. but keep Carl safe inside.
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185. Got it: girls out,
Carl safe.
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186. This electricity bill is
outrageous
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187. and I won't pay it!
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188. Ooh, I didn't know
you were so strapped for cash.
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189. Will you take a check?
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190. My counselor was right.
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191. All I needed to curb my anger
was a hobby.
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192. Okay, now I'm mad!
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193. It's headed right for Carl.
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194. If it only reduces him to
smoldering slag, he'll be lucky.
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195. Bye, see ya.
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196. Thanks for coming.
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197. But this is my house.
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198. Don't be selfish,
get out!
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199. Sheen, what's going on?
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200. Uh... it's time
for your breathing exercises.
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201. First you fill up
your "diaphragum,"
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202. then you empty
your "diaphragum."
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203. Soothing, isn't it?
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204. Well, I guess...
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205. Soothing, isn't it!
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206. Yeah, yeah, it's
very soothing.
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207. That's it, come on.
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208. It's working.
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209. And now it's time for
calming visualization.
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210. Picture a gentle lake
nestled among the mountains.
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211. The water is placid.
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212. But what's that?
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213. Something's in the lake.
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214. It's the legendary
hokey-pokey monster!
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215. His gaze withers crops
and turns soda to bleach.
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216. Run!
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217. Run from the hokey-pokey!
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218. Save your soda!
Save yourself!
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219. It's time.
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220. Come on,
just a little closer.
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221. Stop, Jimmy!
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222. Carl? Carl, get back.
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223. Don't hurt her.
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224. I know what she wants.
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225. Bye, Schmengo.
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226. I'll miss you.
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227. Carl, that hug
contained 10,000
volts of energy.
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228. Wasn't it painful?
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229. Saying goodbye
to your kids
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230. is always
painful, Jimmy.
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231. Hey, it looks
the same as
a month ago.
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232. Don't desolate
planets ever change?
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233. Come on,
guys.
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234. Happy Birthday, Schmengo.
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235. Hey, don't I
get a hug?
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236. Don't forget
your Uncle Jimmy.
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237. Uh, no, really,
it's okay.
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238. Aah! Get away from me!
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239. Carl!
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240. Want some cake?
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241. Yeah, a corner
piece, please.
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242. I'm not
kidding!
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243. You're in big trouble!
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244. Happy Birthday,
Great-Aunt Amanda.
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245. You're looking more beautiful
and less wrinkly every year.
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246. No thanks to you!
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247. Your gadgets and gewgaws
have taken years off my life!
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248. But, Aunt Amanda,
Jimmy's gadgets
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249. have saved the town
dozens of times.
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250. Sure. After he brought
down a giant meteor
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251. to destroy us all.
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252. Or those
evil aliens.
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253. Or pants!
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254. Horrible walking pants!
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255. Which cousin
are you again?
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256. Now, now, Newt, Kari, Cousin
Gomer, Cousin Annabelle...
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257. and little Eddie—
let's not fight.
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258. We've gathered together because
we love our dear Aunt Amanda
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259. and not because
her fabulous wealth controls
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260. our very destiny.
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261. Yeah, can't we all
just get along?
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262. No!
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263. Because of you, the Neutron name
isn't respectable anymore.
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264. Why can't you be nice
like your friends?
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265. Mmm, I've been
waiting all year
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266. to eat Aunt Kari's
salt paddies.
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267. And this year's
147-bean salad is
the best one yet.
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268. Oh, Hugh, maybe
we should just go.
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269. No, no,
not yet, Mom.
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270. I think
I've found a way
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271. to win Aunt Amanda over.
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272. Say, Aunt Amanda,
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273. you haven't unwrapped
my present yet.
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274. Huh, so I haven't.
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275. Why, it's a barbecue spatula.
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276. I know how much you
love to barbecue.
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277. That baby's got
17 electro-hydraulic
attachments
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278. and a back
scratcher.
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279. I also brought a little
something for everyone.
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280. Who wants a cybernetic
palm pager?
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281. Well, Jimmy, this is
very thoughtful.
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282. It's too bad
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283. your dear old granny
couldn't be here
to see this.
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284. But she's in Reno,
kicking butt at the slots!
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285. Aunt Amanda, may I
freshen your cider?
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286. If only that
high-pitched whining
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287. wasn't giving
me a migraine!
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288. High-pitched wining?
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289. Oh, no!
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290. Aunt Amanda, look out!
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291. My bean salad!
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292. No!
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293. Goddard, expando-shield, quick.
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294. Aunt Amanda,
I'm sorry.
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295. The tritium
battery overloaded.
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296. You little monster!
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297. I knew you couldn't
be trusted.
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298. It's not supposed to do that.
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299. I swear,
it'll never happen again.
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300. James Isaac Neutron,
what were you thinking?
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301. Nothing. I mean,
it must have been sunspots.
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302. You're a menace,
young man!
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303. Jimbo, get inside
the house
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304. before Aunt Amanda
writes us out
of the will.
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305. But, Dad... Mom!
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306. No buts, mister.
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307. March!
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308. And take that horrible
dog with you!
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309. Hey, Jimmy, are you okay?
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310. Cheer up, Jimmy.
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311. We brought
Aunt Kari's famous
migraine-inducing desserts.
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312. We have a situation.
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313. There is no reason those
presents should have exploded.
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314. Someone bombarded the spatula
with delta waves.
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315. Only a genius could
come up with that plan
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316. and the delta waves came
from the backyard.
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317. Do you realize
what that means?
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318. Uh, Jimmy, do you mind
if we just keep eating?
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319. It means there'sanother genius
in my family besides me.
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320. An evil genius.
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321. That's horrible!
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322. Hey, Sheen,
you going to finish
that Death by Gelato?
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323. Yeah, okay,
stop eating.
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324. Sorry.
Sorry.
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325. Goddard, isolate the Neutron
genius gene.
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326. Compare the gene to DNA profiles
of all adult family members.
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327. Hmm.
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328. The two most likely
suspects would be
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329. Cousin Gomer
or Cousin Annabelle.
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330. Okay, so what
you're saying is
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331. that one of them must
only be acting dumb.
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332. Or crazy.
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333. We've got to find out
which one
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334. before they make
another attempt.
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335. Right.
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336. To the buffet!
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337. What? I'm still hungry!
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338. The coast is clear,
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339. but I'm not allowed
to go out.
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340. It's up to you, Sheen.
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341. I need a DNA sample
from Gomer:
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342. sweat, saliva, hair,
anything.
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343. Oh, man!
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344. Why do I always have to collect
fluids from the suspects?
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345. Hey, Cousin Gomer.
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346. Say, I'm kind of
a sweaty guy.
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347. How about you?
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348. Want to Greco-Roman
wrestle?
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349. Maybe a quick 10K run.
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350. I got my hand caught
in the pickle jar.
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351. Ping-Pong it is!
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352. This way, Captain Clueless.
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353. Now, for Cousin Annabelle.
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354. Use the old
Wheezer charm, Carl.
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355. Or at least get her
to spit on you.
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356. Okay.
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357. Oh, I've got to be right.
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358. I've got to have order.
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359. Hey, Cousin Annabelle.
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360. Don't sneak up on me!
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361. I have senseless
panic attack syndrome.
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362. Uh... I'm allergic
to wheat.
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363. Oh, really?
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364. Go away!
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365. So...
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366. do you like
to... spit?
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367. Oh! How am I supposed
to separate
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368. the round toothpicks
from the flat ones
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369. if you keep
interrupting me?
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370. Okay, um...
you have pretty hair.
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371. Can I braid it?
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372. Don't touch my head!
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373. I have grooming-
anxiety issues.
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374. Now I have to wash.
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375. Water!
I need hot water!
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376. But first I'll sort
the toothpicks.
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377. Wow, Cousin Annabelle's nice.
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378. Is she seeing anyone?
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379. Hopefully a therapist.
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380. Let's find out if
she's an evil genius.
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381. No DNA match.
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382. That leaves Cousin Gomer.
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383. And if I'm right,
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384. he may be the most dangerous
intellect I've ever faced.
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385. Gomer, we can't have
a sweaty game
of Ping-Pong
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386. if you keep the paddle
in your mouth.
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387. But this is how
I serve my spit ball!
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388. Success!
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389. Yuck.
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390. The charade is over,
Cousin Gomer.
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391. Charade?
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392. I thought we was
playing Ping-Pong.
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393. I got his spit
right here, Jimmy.
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394. In seconds
I'll have proof
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395. that you tried to do away
with the family.
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396. What do you say to that?
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397. Can you touch your head
with your tongue?
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398. I can.
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399. Negative?
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400. That means Gomer's not
the genius either.
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401. I did that
for nothing?
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402. Haven't figured it out yet?
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403. Cousin Eddie!
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404. I had you barking
up the wrong tree.
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405. Maybe you ain't as bright
as everybody thinks.
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406. How could I be so naive?
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407. I only checked the DNA
of adults.
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408. I never guessed
that...
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409. A baby could be as smart as you?
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410. Heck, I'm smarter.
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411. And I'm only 171/2 months old.
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412. Wait till I hit puberty—
bah-bang!
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413. Why'd you do it,
Cousin Eddie, why?
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414. For Aunt Amanda's
money, Sheen.
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415. Ding. We got a winner.
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416. Now, think fast, nimrods!
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417. Nothing can escape from
my unbreakable fun rings.
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418. You're a bad
baby, Eddie,
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419. and you've got a diaper
full of evil.
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420. Oh, what do we have here?
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421. A tritium battery—
and a big one.
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422. Eddie, no!
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423. That battery could take out
the entire family.
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424. Duh! Jimmy, sometimes you're
almost as dumb as Gomer.
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425. There's match two, man!
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426. Those rings
will keep shrinking
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427. until the life's completely
squeezed out of you.
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428. You adorable fiend!
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429. Arrivederci, losers.
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430. It's time for Aunt Amanda's
birthday cake, everyone.
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431. Come on.
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432. Get down, everyone!
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433. Too bad youdidn't
know about Goddard's
backup battery.
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434. It's all over, Eddie.
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435. Oh, you're going down, baby.
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436. All right, all right,
break it up now.
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437. Jimbo, we told you
to stay in the house.
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438. My baby.
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439. This is the child
you raised,
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440. a vicious
baby mauler?
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441. Aunt Amanda,
Eddie's an evil genius.
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442. He was trying
to blow everyone up
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443. so he could get your fortune.
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444. Goo.
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445. He takes after her
side of the family.
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446. Hugh!
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447. He may even
be adopted.
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448. He looks nothing
like me.
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449. There's that
noise again!
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450. I know, Aunt Kari,
I reset Eddie's rattle.
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451. It's programmed to overload.
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452. Oh, poopy!
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453. You broke my rattle!
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454. You dweeby,
no-good, pointy-headed,
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455. weasel-faced freak!
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456. Uh... I mean...
uh...
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457. Goo.
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458. That baby's
a bad seed.
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459. It's Jimmy who's
the good nephew.
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460. I'm so sorry
little Eddie tried
to destroy us all.
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461. If I were you,
I'd keep him on a baby leash.
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462. Oh, no,
not the leash!
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463. I'll get you for this,
Jimmy, you hear me?
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464. This ain't finished,
not by a long shot!
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465. Hey, where's
my juicy cup?
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466. Where is the cup
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467. that I can spill
without spilling?
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468. Dad, our family
is very weird.
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469. It sure is, Son.
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470. It sure is.
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471. So, what do you want
me to say now?
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472. Got to blast!
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