1. Gotta Blast!
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2. Help!
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3. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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4. and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
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5. Gentlemen, I present
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6. Monday-morning-forgotten-report
delivery system.
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7. Better known
as man's best friend— Goddard!
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8. Thanks, boy.
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9. Hurry up!
Let's get to class
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10. before the bell rings.
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11. Yeah.
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12. You don't want
to run into...
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13. the hall monitor!
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14. Hey, Neutron,
you know the rules.
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15. No dogs at school.
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16. That's a demerit.
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17. And where's
your hall pass?
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18. I don't need one, Chuck.
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19. I'm not in the hall
and class hasn't started yet.
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20. Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
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21. Now you need a pass.
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22. That's another demerit.
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23. And you're late to class.
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24. Another demerit.
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25. Have a nice day.
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26. Class, I'm afraid I have
some very sad news.
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27. They're canceling
the Ultra Lord Show?
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28. Llamas are extinct?
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29. No, no, no.
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30. Chuck Lester,
our beloved hall monitor
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31. is moving to Greece and...
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32. will be leaving us.
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33. We will now choose
the next hall monitor
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34. as directed
by the Lindbergh Elementary
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35. constitution
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36. by picking a random name
from this hat.
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37. That's the worst, stupidest,
most boring job in the world.
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38. I would hate to be hall monitor.
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39. I want to be hall monitor.
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40. I want to be hall monitor...
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41. Carl Wheezer.
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42. I accept!
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43. I forgot to tell you
that your mother left
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44. an extra pair of clean
you-know-what...
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45. up at the office.
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46. Now back to the new hall monitor
announcement.
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47. It's Jimmy Neutron!
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48. No!
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49. This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.
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50. Being a hall monitor
was the best thing
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51. that ever happened to me.
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52. Oh, yeah.
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53. The tight uniform,
the smell of the hall
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54. the beautiful noise
that my shoes made
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55. when I walked.
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56. Uh-huh. That's,
uh, great, Dad.
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57. But there's a danger
hidden beneath the glamour, son.
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58. A man in uniform is
a powerful thing.
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59. Don't abuse your position
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60. or it could be really, really...
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61. Oh, what do they call it?
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62. not good.
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63. Principal Willoughby,
can't you get someone else
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64. to be hall monitor?
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65. Jimmy, did you know
that the old man
you like so much
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66. with the funny hair
and the big brain
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67. and the "E equals MC-squared"
thingy was a hall monitor?
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68. Albert Einstein was
a hall monitor?
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69. Well, I've never read that
in the 178 biographies
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70. I've read about him.
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71. Oh, it's a hundred
percent true.
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72. Good luck.
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73. Einstein was a hall monitor.
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74. You know what
they say
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75. about a man
in uniform, Libby?
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76. Well, it's a lie.
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77. Once a nerdtron,
always a nerdtron.
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78. Careful, Cindy.
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79. Jimmy's "The Man" now.
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80. He can get us
into trouble.
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81. I can?
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82. Oh, oh, yeah.
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83. I can.
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84. Cut the chitchat, ladies.
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85. Moving it along,
and remember—
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86. I'm keeping an eye on you.
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87. Hey, watch where
you're going, punk!
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88. You're dead mea...
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89. Oh.
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90. Mr. Hall Monitor, sir.
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91. How clumsy of me.
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92. Uh, I have
my pass right here.
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93. Nice to see you. Ciao!
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94. For once this boy genius
may have been wrong.
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95. This is a great job.
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96. Congratulations, Jimmy.
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97. I've never seen the halls
look so... orderly.
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98. Miss Fowl, we
might be looking
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99. at the greatest
hall monitor ever!
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100. Maybe even greater
than Albert Einstein.
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101. I will bring
Lindbergh Elementary
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102. into the new millennium
and beyond
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103. with state-of-the art
hall monitoring.
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104. And you're going to help me.
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105. The hall pass authenticator.
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106. Able to detect
counterfeit passes.
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107. The IDM background check
scanner.
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108. Hear me,
flouters of hallway law:
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109. Jimmy Neutron is on the job.
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110. Hi, Jimmy.
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111. Can I touch
your uniform?
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112. Halt! Your papers?
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113. I-I have a pass.
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114. I was just going
to the bathroom
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115. 'cause I always go
at 8:47, 9:23
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116. 11:42...
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117. Wheezer, Carl.
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118. O Negative.
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119. Card-carrying member
of the Llama Love Society.
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120. Prior arrests: None.
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121. Everything's in order.
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122. Move along.
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123. Nerdtron being hall monitor
is the worst thing
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124. that's happened
to this school
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125. since they banned
extreme jump roping.
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126. Ms. Vortex, pull over.
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127. What's the problem, ha?
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128. I believe you've committed
a fashion infraction.
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129. Goddard, obtain pants'
measurement data.
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130. 113/4 inches.
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131. Too short for pants,
yet too long for shorts.
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132. A direct violation
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133. of the Lindbergh Elementary
Fashion Treaty of '97.
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134. Why don't you do something
useful and arrest yourself
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135. for being a dork?
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136. Is that music
you're listening to?
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137. Yeah.
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138. It's the new song
by the cute Multi-cultural
Boys With No Attitude.
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139. There is no pop, punk,
funkhouse, blues, rock, roll
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140. oldies or easy listening
allowed in the halls.
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141. Goddard, confiscate.
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142. Uh-oh...
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143. Music withdrawal!
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144. Skin... feeling... clammy.
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145. Whoa, that was on
the harsh side.
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146. Do you have
a problem, citizen?
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147. What's in the gym bag?
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148. W-What?
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149. Hey, Jimmy, it's me—
the Sheenster.
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150. Cut me some slack, homefly.
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151. Goddard, X-ray.
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152. Ultra Lord comic,
Ultra Lord action figure
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153. Ultra Lord
athletic supporter...
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154. Ah-hah!
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155. And what do we have here?
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156. A colorfully wrapped
sucrose-based chewing substance.
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157. Gum perhaps?
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158. Uh, I wasn't chewing it.
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159. That's possession, Sheen.
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160. You are going down.
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161. Uh, Jimmy, I'm not doing
anything wrong
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162. or b-b-bad or evil, am I?
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163. You have exceeded
the amount of
llama stickers
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164. on your lunch box.
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165. I know, but...
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166. but I got a special permit.
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167. Shh.
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168. I think your friend's hat
is on a little too tight.
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169. His hats are always too tight.
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170. Look at his head.
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171. Maybe we should get
Principal Willoughby.
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172. Are you conducting
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173. a secret meeting?
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174. Is this a conspiracy
to start a riot?
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175. Up against the wall!
Spread 'em!
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176. O-Okay, Neutron,
you're out of control.
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177. I'm making a citizen's arrest.
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178. I want a public defender!
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179. I want my music!
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180. I want my mommy!
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181. And some fudge.
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182. Red alert, Goddard!
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183. This is not drill.
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184. This floor is on lockdown.
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185. Incarcerate the troublemakers.
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186. Lady, we don't sing
the blues here.
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187. No tin-cup banging,
Gum Boy.
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188. Aw, man.
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189. And no carving keys
to your cell out of soap.
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190. Um... Mr. Hall Monitor, sir?
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191. Can I go to the bathroom,
please?
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192. Yeah... Yeah, me, too!
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193. I got to go to.
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194. All right.
You have 60 seconds.
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195. Oh...
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196. I don't know
if I can go that fast.
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197. 58 seconds.
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198. We got to get
out of here, Carl.
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199. But I'm not done yet.
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200. No, I mean get out
and get help.
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201. Jimmy's gone nuts.
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202. I have an escape plan.
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203. Check it out.
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204. I'll disguise myself
as a rhesus monkey
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205. and shimmy down the fire escape
with my feet, and then you...
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206. Goddard, retract and access
central toilet system
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207. and flush 'em out.
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208. Surf's up!
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209. What in the name
of all things bright
and beautiful
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210. is going on?
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211. These hooligans were trying
to escape.
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212. Principal Willoughby, Jimmy's
unleashed a reign of terror.
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213. Terror!
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214. He is the worst
hall monitor ever!
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215. He's still my best friend
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216. but he's gone mad with power!
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217. I'm simply doing my job.
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218. Goddard, hose
these radicals down
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219. and put 'em in chains.
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220. Wait a minute.
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221. Goddard, records everything.
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222. He can prove how crazy
Jimmy's been
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223. in high definition
and Dolby THX.
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224. Yeah. Let's see what man's best
friend has up his hard drive.
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225. Hah! He won't show you
subversive types anything.
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226. Why not?
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227. 'Cause you didn't say
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228. "Goddard,
access hall monitor tapes."
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229. Darn.
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230. A man in uniform is
a powerful thing.
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231. Hi, Ji-uh-Ji-sonny.
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232. Just dropped by to remind you
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233. not to overdo that whole, uh,
hall monitor thing.
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234. I did, and darn if I didn't lose
every friend I had.
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235. Buh-bye!
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236. Is... Is that really me?
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237. D-Did I become obsessed
with power in my quest
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238. to emulate Albert Einstein
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239. and be the greatest
hall monitor?
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240. Yes!
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241. Oh, about Einstein being
a hall monitor, Jimmy—
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242. that was my sister Eunice.
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243. I'm always getting them
confused.
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244. Eww!
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245. Principal Willoughby,
I hereby resign.
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246. I'm afraid
that's impossible.
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247. According to the Lindbergh
school constitution
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248. hall monitors can't resign.
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249. You have to be fired
for breaking the rules.
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250. Hmm...
for breaking the rules, eh?
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251. I'm chewing gum!
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252. I'm playing music!
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253. My pants are too short.
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254. I'm putting
too many stickers
on my lunch box!
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255. And now, let's pick
our next hall monitor!
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256. Carl Wheezer.
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257. Victory is mine!
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258. Your mother called.
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259. She said don't forget
to take your...
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260. nose drops.
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261. Oh.
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262. And the new hall monitor is...
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263. Ultra Hall Monitor says,
None shall pass!
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264. Seven!
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265. Your llama is sucked
into a volcanic sinkhole
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266. where flesh-eating bats
will nip at his screaming face.
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267. Sheen!
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268. There aren't any
volcanic sinkholes
in Llama's Day Out.
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269. Maybe that explains
why I'm not having fun.
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270. Hi, Carl.
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271. I ran out of chemicals
mid-experiment
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272. and I know you got a chemistry
set for your birthday.
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273. Eleven!
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274. Hey, you can use my
chemistry set, Jim.
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275. Oh, the potato's
not included.
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276. Uh, that's okay.
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277. I assume
it comes with a few cc's
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278. of ethyl mercaptin.
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279. Uh... no.
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280. Well, I can work around that.
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281. How about some
dimercural sulfonative?
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282. Uh... yeah...? No.
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283. Tritium nitrate?
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284. I've got salt.
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285. Oh...! Pukin' Pluto!
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286. How's a guy
supposed to make
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287. a four-dimensional
hypercube molecule
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288. without access to
the complete spectrum
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289. of inorganic
chemicals?
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290. Welcome to
my nightmare.
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291. Here you go, Jimmy.
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292. Check out this leaflet
from inside the box.
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293. "Also try
our ultra-deluxe model.
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294. Contains every element
from aluminum to zirconium."
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295. Now, that's
what I'm talking about!
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296. Aw, who am I kidding?
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297. I don't have any money
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298. and my birthday's
three months away.
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299. Ah, quit procrastinati.
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300. Ah, forget it;
I'm rolling for you.
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301. One.
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302. And Carl's llama falls down.
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303. Down into the sulfurous mud pit.
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304. How the snake god
will be pleased.
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305. Hey, how could
you roll the one
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306. if there are two dice?
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307. Huh? Oh.
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308. Yeah.
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309. Someone get me
the jaws of life!
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310. I wish I could invent g
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311. that would chew up
three months of my life.
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312. Summer school— trust me.
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313. Too bad you can't use
your hypno-thingamajiggy
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314. to make your parents think
your birthday's next week.
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315. Carl... that's brilliant!
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316. Really? But I said it.
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317. Uh, think about it, Carl.
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318. I mean, my parents enjoy
seeing me happy, don't they?
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319. That's true.
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320. It would be selfish
to make them wait
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321. another three months
to give you a gift
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322. when they could give
it to you next week.
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323. Next week?
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324. I can't stand to make
them suffer one more day.
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325. To the lab!
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326. Okay,
now to set the hypno-command.
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327. Tomorrow is Jimmy's birthday.
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328. Mom, Dad
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329. look over here.
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330. It's not polite
to point, son.
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331. But I guess we
can let it slide
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332. 'cause it's your
birthday tomorrow!
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333. Oh, my gosh!
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334. Hugh— presents!
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335. Uh, Sweet Petunias, we have
to go to the mall for Jimmy.
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336. Oh, and what
are you going to buy?
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337. Um, uh... groceries.
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338. Then gift wrap.
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339. Uh, for the... groceries.
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340. Okay. I'll just stay here
and play
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341. with my woefully out-of-date
chemistry set.
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342. And don't you dare look
when we come back.
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343. We want the groceries
to be a surprise.
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344. Swift one, Sugar Booger.
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345. Don't burn down the ho.
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346. Buh-bye.
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347. Hey, here's
a nother one, kids.
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348. Giggle's special...
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349. Cool party, Neutron
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350. but, uh, aren't you kind of old
for the clown thing?
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351. Well, you
know parents.
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352. They like thinking
that we're all still
five years old.
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353. That was amazing!
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354. Did you have to swear
a circus oath
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355. to never reveal the source
of your clown powers?
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356. Don't make fun of me.
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357. Happy Birthday, Jimmy!
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358. Oh, thanks, Mom and Dad.
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359. Remember when we said we
were getting groceries?
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360. Well, we got some, and then
we stopped and got this!
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361. No!
Yeah.
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362. I was utterly fooled.
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363. You're having
a birthday party
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364. and you didn't even invite us,
Neutron?
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365. Not that we'd want to come.
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366. Sorry.
It was kind of unexpected.
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367. What do you mean?
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368. Don't you know when
your own birthday is?
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369. Yes, of course.
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370. In fact, I have another one
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371. coming up
in a couple months.
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372. Cindy, Libby—
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373. have some cake and goody bags.
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374. Hi, how's it going?
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375. So, which kid
is yours?
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376. I'm the clown.
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377. Oh. I didn't, uh,
want to assume.
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378. Well, in this house,
we never judge people
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379. by the... multicolor
of their skin.
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380. Ah, great birthday.
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381. Great four-dimensional
hypercube.
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382. Good night, Goddard.
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383. Happy Birthday, Jimmy!
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384. Did you say today's my birthday?
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385. That's right!
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386. Your party's
already started.
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387. We called
all your friends.
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388. And almost half of
them called us back.
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389. We even hired...
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390. A clown!
A clown!
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391. That's awesome!
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392. No, it's better
than awesome.
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393. It's clownificent!
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394. Let me guess, Neutron.
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395. You've finally driven
your parents insane.
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396. We know something's
going on
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397. and we're going
to find out what.
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398. Cindy, Libby, have some cake
and goody bags.
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399. You were saying?
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400. Happy Birthday, Jimmy!
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401. Hiya, Clownie!
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402. I thought you were
only going to do
this once, Jimmy.
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403. I must have worded the
hypno-command wrong.
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404. I'll undo it right now.
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405. Although
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406. I could use a few more beakers
and test tubes.
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407. Happy Birthday, Jimmy!
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408. Three birthday parties in a row.
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409. You're one lucky dude,
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410. Jimmy's not lucky.
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411. He's a genius.
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412. Yeah. I'm going
to Jimmy's birthday
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413. every day for the
rest of my life.
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414. Happy seventh birthday
this week, Jim.
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415. Um, I kind of ran out
of gift ideas
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416. so, I brought you
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417. some meat from my refr.
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418. How about the quarter
behind the ear?
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419. You did that yesterday.
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420. I could make my hair
go up and down.
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421. You did that
one Thursday.
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422. New tricks, new tricks,
new tricks...!
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423. Cindy, Libby, have some cake
and goody bags.
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424. No, thanks,
Mrs. Neutron.
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425. Do you have any
carrot sticks
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426. or maybe some antacid?
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427. Live a little, girls!
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428. Jimmy's birthday
only comes once a year.
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429. And now I'm going to, um...
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430. pull a mysterious label
out of my hat.
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431. "Dry clean only."
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432. Come on.
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433. No donkey is safe
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434. from my awesome tail-
pinning abilities.
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435. Hey, what are you... ow!
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436. Oops, my bad, Carl.
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437. Ow. No offense, Jimmy
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438. but if you wanted
to skip your birthday
for a few days...
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439. I wouldn't mind.
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440. Ugh. Yeah, I'm getting
a little tired
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441. of the party bit
myself, Carl.
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442. I guess nothing
lasts forever.
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443. Except summer school.
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444. Trust me.
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445. Hypno-beam, reprogram.
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446. Okay, here's a new one.
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447. I take something
from the audience
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448. and hit it with a hammer.
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449. That will do just fine.
Hey, hey, no!
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450. No, wait, it says
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451. put it under a hankie
and pretend to hit it.
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452. Anyone got a hankie?
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453. I'm stuck in my birthday.
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454. Mom, Dad, um, listen
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455. is it okay if I don't have
a birthday party today?
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456. Well, of course
you're not having
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457. a birthday party
today, Jimbo.
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458. You're going
off to college!
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459. College?
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460. Happy 18th birthday!
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461. And since we seem to be
up to our chinny-chin-chins
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462. in massive, paralyzing debt,
Mr. Giggles
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463. will be moving
into your room.
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464. I never get tired of that one.
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465. Whoa, wait!
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466. I'm not 18!
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467. You can't
just give my bedroom away
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468. to some creepy circus performer.
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469. See you downstairs
at your going-away party.
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470. Ah, this is the life.
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471. Say, could you teach me
how to get my hair
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472. in that ridiculous shape?
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473. So, you see, you were hypnotized
the whole time.
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474. I'm still just a kid, really.
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475. I like sugary cereals,
and, uh
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476. I think girls are icky,
and everything.
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477. Surprise!
Surprise!
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478. We know it's not really
your birthday, Jimmy.
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479. You... you know?
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480. Yes, we know.
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481. When Mr. Giggles
broke your thingamajig
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482. it undid that dark
and sinister hold you
had over our thoughts.
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483. From now on, you'll
just have to wait
for your birthday
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484. like everyone else.
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485. Oh, and Carl's mom
wants her meat back.
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486. I'm sorry I tricked you guys
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487. but your parties
were so much fun... for awhile.
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488. Jimmy, clowns and
balloons don't
make kids happy.
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489. Moms and dads
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490. make kids happy.
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491. Well, what a
lovely sentiment,
Mr. Giggles.
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492. You've got a heart
as big as your shoes.
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493. Thanks. Here's my bill.
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494. Holy polka dots!
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495. Uh, if you need me
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496. I'll be reflecting
on how fortunate I am
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497. to have such
forgiving parents. Bye.
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498. Not so fast, young man.
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499. There's still the matter
of your punishment.
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500. No one with
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501. a genius IQ
should have to scrub floors
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502. to pay off a clown.
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503. How long does this go on for?
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504. Forever. Trust me.
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