1. Gotta Blast!
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2. Help!
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3. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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4. and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
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5. And so, in 1851
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6. physicist Jean Foucault
hung a pendulum
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7. from a 200 foot wire—
much as I've done here—
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8. and proved the
Earth revolves.
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9. Um, excuse me, Miss Fowl
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10. might I suggest
that in the future
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11. oral reports should be shorter
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12. than the life of the person
they're about?
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13. Speed it, speed it up, Jimmy.
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14. Because the Earth's rotating
beneath the pendulum
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15. any moment now the first domino
will move in front of it
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16. and be knocked over.
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17. Cool. When's it
going to knock
over another one?
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18. In exactly one hour.
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19. 15 seconds, Jimmy.
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20. Uh, okay.
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21. He was born poor...
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22. Five, four, three, two, one.
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23. Time's up.
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24. Nick...
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25. your report,
please?
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26. Yeah, Nick.
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27. All right, Nick.
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28. Yeah, Nick.
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29. Can I, uh, get some
atmospheric lighting here?
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30. In July '97, three normal kids
from our town
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31. heading home
from an all-night swim meet
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32. decided to take a shortcut
through the theme park.
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33. So they hopped the fence.
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34. They may have heard the rumors,
but they were all too smart
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35. to believe in...
the Phantom of Retroland.
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36. Everybody knows about
the Phantom.
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37. He wears a long,
black cape.
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38. He has a Genoa salami
for a right leg
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39. and he stalks the park
after dark
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40. looking for victims to eat.
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41. Here's an artist's drawing
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42. of what he looks like.
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43. None of them
were ever seen again.
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44. That's my history report.
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45. Okay, in the first place
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46. who ever heard of
an all-night swim meet?
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47. Secondly
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48. how do we know Billy's
alleged last words
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49. if no one ever saw him again?
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50. And if Mr. Phantom's so hungry
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51. why doesn't he just eat
his salami leg?
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52. The whole thing's a myth.
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53. An urban legend.
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54. How small-minded can you be
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55. to try to ruin someone else's
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56. well-researched and
fascinating report?
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57. Yeah, there you go.
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58. Excuse me?
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59. Isn't a basic rule of history
supposed to be
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60. that it's about stuff
that, oh, I don't know...
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61. actually happened?
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62. Jimmy, um, your
rambling was really
cool and everything
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63. but are you sure you're
not, I don't know
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64. maybe a little jealous
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65. 'cause Mr. Fouc-Fouc...
Forpa never ate nobody?
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66. Every thinking person
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67. knows the Phantom's
just a fable.
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68. Oh, obsess,
why don't ya?
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69. You're only
putting down
Nick because
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70. despite all
your logic
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71. you're just as scared
of the Phantom
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72. as everyone else.
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73. No kid who goes to
Retroland after midnight
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74. has ever been seen again.
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75. Tha... that-that is
so patently ridiculous
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76. it doesn't even deserve...
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77. A what?
A 600-page report
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78. on how ridiculous it is
in French?
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79. So, Neutron, I guess
you wouldn't be afraid
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80. to go to the park at midnight.
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81. You know, say, if I was to,
uh, triple-dog dare you?
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82. Don't do it, Jimmy.
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83. With you dead, I'll be
picked last in volleyball.
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84. Fine. I'll go tonight.
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85. And I'll be in class tomorrow
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86. completely unharmed.
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87. How will we know you
were really there?
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88. Because I'll take
Sheen and Carl as witnesses.
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89. Sheen, the Phantom
of Retroland's
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90. going to rip us
limb from limb
and eat us.
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91. Say something!
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92. You ever notice
how Jimmy's hair
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93. is like one of those
gum massager things?
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94. It's all swirly and...
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95. What?
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96. Would you like some more milk
to help you get to sleep?
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97. No, thanks, Mom.
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98. I find it more soothing
to mentally calculate
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99. the Martin's function
for all integers through ten
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100. to the 30th power.
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101. I list all the types of pie,
in alphabetical order
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102. starting, of course,
with cherry.
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103. Uh, what about
apple, dear?
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104. Oh, I forgot apple!
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105. Oh, and blueberry.
Blueberry, yes!
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106. And boysenberry,
banana cream
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107. banana coconut cream,
Boston cream.
Right.
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108. Um, black forest,
marmalade, um
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109. bing cherry
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110. black cherry...
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111. Activate hologram projector.
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112. Image select.
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113. Skip to Jimmy asleep.
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114. "Dear Jimmy.
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115. "I can't come with you tonight,
as I have decided to join
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116. "the French Foreign Legion.
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117. This is a decision I do not
make lightly, as I h..."
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118. H-Hi, Jimmy.
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119. I thought you said 11:30.
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120. Well,
you'd have surely been
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121. on a plane to Algeria
by then, Carl.
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122. Glad you could make it,
Sheen.
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123. How'd you sneak out?
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124. Oh, I just told
my grandma
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125. that I had to go to
a deserted theme park
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126. to be eaten
by a maniac.
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127. She told me to wear
clean underwear.
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128. Let's hop the fence.
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129. Hop the...? Uh, gee,
sorry, I can't, Jim.
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130. You know, some people
can't whistle
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131. some people can't
snap their fingers.
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132. Well, I can't hop.
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133. So, darn it,
I guess I'll have to go home.
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134. Bye...
It's an
expression, Carl.
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135. We're going
through the fence
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136. thanks to my
oxidation accelerator.
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137. Voila.
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138. The equivalent of 200 years
of rust.
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139. Oh, Mr. Phantom!
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140. Yoo-hoo!
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141. Tasty children, right here.
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142. Don't Jimmy.
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143. It's one minute to midnight!
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144. Where are you?
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145. Maybe he's on
daylight mania time.
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146. What's that?
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147. My autograph book.
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148. The Phantom's going
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149. right here next to my dad.
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150. And Santa Claus.
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151. Hey, wait a minute.
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152. Strangest thing.
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153. The Jimster's in his room,
but, uh, so is his playground.
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154. Ooh, I keep telling
him to empty his socks
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155. before he comes home.
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156. Uh, no, no, no,
monkey pants.
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157. I'm talking about
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158. his entire playground's
in his room.
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159. I wonder what order
he'll eat us in.
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160. He's kidding, Carl.
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161. No one's going to eat us.
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162. Three, two, one, midnight.
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163. Hah! We did it!
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164. We took a hypothesis
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165. constructed
a scientific protocol
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166. and conclusively
proved it false.
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167. Take that, Nick
and all of your ilk.
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168. You know what I smell,
Jimmy?
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169. Victorious truth
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170. rising above the ashes
of superstition?
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171. No.
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172. Salami.
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173. Stand your ground.
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174. It's obviously a trick.
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175. Could you sign this,
"To Sheen.
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176. With admiration
and affection," please?
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177. He's not real.
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178. He's a mythical construct.
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179. Hey, better safe
than swallowed, Jimmy.
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180. Oh, he'll
just climb in.
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181. Not if we're moving.
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182. Ha, ha!
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183. Try and get us now,
Mr. Deli-Item Leg.
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184. Uh, Sheen?
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185. What?
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186. It's only
a three-minute ride.
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187. Wow, usually when I get
on these kind of rides
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188. I get real s...
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189. Never mind.
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190. Looks like I
have to show you
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191. how a myth fares when
it faces the withering
light of science.
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192. How?
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193. I'm going to repeat
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194. Foucault's classic experiment.
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195. And what,
bore him to death?
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196. Goddard, laser beams.
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197. Cut the guardrails
off the ride's axis.
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198. What is this ride
if not a giant pendulum?
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199. Now that it's swinging freely
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200. the Earth will slowly rotate
beneath it.
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201. Ah-ha!
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202. So?
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203. So, imagine Mr. Phantom's
a domino.
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204. Huh?
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205. Let's see how scary
the Phantom is now.
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206. Ew, what's
that smell?
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207. Shoe barf.
Sorry.
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208. Hey, hey,
I know that voice.
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209. Nick!
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210. I should've known.
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211. Boy, you really
showed him. Wham!
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212. Now let's beat it before
the real Phantom shows up.
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213. Sheen, there is no real Phantom.
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214. I beg to differ.
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215. What's that smell?
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216. You mean your salami leg
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217. his salami leg,
or Carl's shoes?
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218. It's only Cindy
and Libby.
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219. But why?
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220. Why?
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221. 'Cause nobody likes a smug,
smart-alecky, badly coifed
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222. other-person's-class-
report-ruining know-it-all!
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223. Everybody knows the
stupid Phantom's a myth.
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224. Only you would ruin
everyone's fun
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225. by being so pedantic
about it.
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226. Ah, leaving so soon, huh?
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227. What's that smell?
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228. You mean your salami
leg, their salami leg
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229. his salami leg,
or Carl's shoes?
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230. All right, whoever you
are, the joke's over.
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231. Jimmy, what
about science?
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232. Science, shmience.
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233. Run for your life!
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234. Ooh, that'll teach
that little dickens
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235. to use his hologram projector
to sneak out after bedtime.
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236. Let's go, Hugh.
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237. Coming.
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238. Hey, booger of my eye,
I think I got 'em all—
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239. every single pie
between apple and cherry.
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240. Look at my list.
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241. What about blackberry?
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242. Oh, blackberry, sure.
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243. Tip of the cap, there,
Mr. Phantom-Face Terrifying Guy.
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244. Uh...
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245. Hey, Jimmy, are you in there?
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246. I brought my new hamster,
Mr. Wuggles, over.
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247. Want to see him?
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248. He's so cute.
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249. Kinda busy, Carl.
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250. I'm working on my new
teleportation pods.
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251. When they're finished, I'll be
able to transmit my atoms
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252. between any two points
in an instant.
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253. Ooh... pretty lights.
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254. I can explore a volcano
in Hawaii
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255. build a snowman in Iceland
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256. and be back in time for lunch.
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257. Hand me that plasma wrench,
will you, Carl?
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258. Huh?
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259. Oh, sure thing, Jim.
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260. Carl!
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261. Carl, could you please
control your hamster?
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262. Mr. Wuggles, no!
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263. Wuggle, wuggle, wug.
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264. Uh... aah!
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265. Whoa! Ow! Whoa!
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266. Don't tell the others,
but you're my favorite.
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267. Hugh...
Oh! Hi, honey.
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268. Are you going to spend
the entire day
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269. with your duck
collection?
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270. Um, just a minute, doe-dumpling.
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271. I'm finishing up the flock's
monthly fluff and buff.
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272. Well, I'm going shopping.
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273. Why don't you spend
some quality time with Jimmy?
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274. It could be a special
father-son day.
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275. That's a great idea.
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276. I used to have those
with my aunty all the time.
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277. Only... we called them
"aunty-nephew days"
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278. but it's probably
the same basic idea.
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279. We could go to the park.
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280. We could, uh... eat cheese!
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281. We could even
go to Retroland.
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282. I love those
zig-zaggy lines.
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283. They're so...
not straight.
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284. Oh, Hugh.
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285. Okay, nice hamster.
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286. Now, one last adjustment
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287. on the Gulanic transducer,
and...
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288. Oh, boy.
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289. Jimmy.
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290. Jimbo.
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291. Are you in there, scout?
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292. Jimmy!
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293. Your head's—
furry and animal-like!
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294. Looks soft, though, eh?
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295. I was going
to take you to Retroland
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296. but maybe we should
call your mother.
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297. Oh, I get it, I get it.
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298. It's just another one of your
crazy experiments, isn't it?
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299. It'll wear off, right?
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300. One twitch for yes,
two twitches for no.
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301. Be careful, now, don't
gnaw on the shirt.
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302. Man.
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303. Ugh! I'm putting on weight.
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304. I got to lay off
the snickerdoodles.
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305. Leaping leptons!
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306. What have I done to myself?
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307. Oh, this is awful! Horrible!
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308. Hey... I could never reach
that spot before.
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309. Aw, nice.
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310. Aw, yeah...
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311. Easy there, boy.
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312. It's me, Jimmy.
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313. When I teleported
with Carl's hamster
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314. we must have gotten
our atoms mixed.
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315. All we have to do
is find Mr. Wuggles and...
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316. Uh-oh.
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317. Hey, no! No...
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318. Oh!
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319. My own dog
thinks I'm a hamster.
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320. It's a good thing the human part
of me is completely in control.
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321. It's going to take every ounce
of brainpower I have to...
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322. Are those nuts I smell?
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323. Listen to
everybody scream.
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324. These rides must be
scarier than I thought.
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325. What the...?
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326. Let me out! Let me out of here!
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327. What a bunch of scaredy-pants.
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328. I dib the front car.
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329. Uh, don't eat before
you get on the ride.
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330. Uh... hamster sense tingling.
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331. So close.
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332. Ah-ha!
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333. Mom?
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334. That was close.
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335. Carl, Sheen!
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336. Oh, man, am I glad
to see you guys.
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337. I don't believe it.
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338. Jimmy! You're like
a hamster...
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339. or gerbil...
or dolphin,
or something.
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340. Isn't he adorable?
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341. Aw... who's a cute
little hamster?
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342. Oh, he's a fat one.
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343. I've got his belly, yes I do.
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344. Come on, Carl, let
me hold Jimmy.
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345. Okay, just be careful.
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346. Oh, it's just like
Episode 346
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347. "Attack of the Mighty
Bird People."
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348. Check it out.
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349. "I am Hamster Lord.
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350. "I must gnaw on your planet's
energy to survive.
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351. Resistance is futile."
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352. Stop it, Sheen.
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353. Jimmy's not some
kind of plaything!
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354. Aw, who's got
little pawsies?
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355. Who's got widdle pawsies?
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356. That's right, Jimmy's
got some, yes, he does.
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357. You got
problems, Carl.
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358. All right, that's it!
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359. Cut it out!
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360. I'm not a hamster!
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361. I'm a human being!
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362. Uh, could you scratch under
my chin again? Right there?
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363. Oh, yeah... that's the ticket.
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364. Now, listen, you two
have got to help me
find Mr. Wuggles.
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365. It's the only way I
can return to normal.
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366. Return to normal?
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367. But, Jimmy,
you're so soft and cuddly.
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368. Yeah!
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369. And as Hamster Lord
you could easily defeat
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370. the Lettuce People
of Nebula Seven!
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371. Guys, focus!
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372. Listen, sending Wuggles and me
back through the teleporter
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373. is the only way to de-scramble
our atoms.
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374. Now, can I count on you?
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375. Yeah, I guess,
sure.
All right, sure.
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376. Okay, here's the plan.
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377. Great plan, Jimmy!
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378. All right, stop your squeaking.
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379. All right now, glove up.
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380. Eyes on the ball.
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381. Gaylord Perry taught me
this one.
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382. It's a knuckleball.
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383. Ready?
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384. Oh, whoops-a-daisy.
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385. That's why they call
it the knuckleball.
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386. You got to keep the glove up,
Jimmy.
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387. This one's
a split-seam fastball.
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388. Oh! Rub some dirt
in that, son.
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389. Uh, um...
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390. Y-you know, I'm really
high in HDL cholesterol—
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391. that's the bad kind.
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392. A satellite dish!
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393. Hey, what's that?
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394. Yes!
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395. If I could just punch in
Goddard's homing code...
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396. Mmm...
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397. Oh, it's no good...
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398. I'm done for!
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399. Goddard!
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400. Goddard, it's me.
Huh?
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401. Jimmy! Remember, I feed you,
walk you
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402. recharge your battery, huh?
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403. Good boy.
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404. I knew you wouldn't
eat me.
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405. Hey! Hey!
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406. Huh?
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407. It's Mr. Wuggles!
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408. He was with my Dad
the whole time.
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409. Quick, Goddard,
let's get back to the lab.
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410. You know, maybe instead
of eating Jimmy
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411. the hawk will raise him
like his own son.
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412. Yeah!
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413. Then Jimmy will be
half hamster
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414. half human,
and half hawk!
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415. Hi guys!
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416. Oh, look, it's Jimmy.
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417. Jimmy, we're coming!
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418. Keep hope alive!
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419. Jimmy!
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420. Howdy, butter biscuit.
Your menfolk are home.
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421. Eww!
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422. Eww! You get it
out of here! Eww!
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423. I am getting
more traps.
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424. Hang on, Jimbo,
I'll get a pliers.
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425. Do something, Jimmy
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426. 'cause your Mom might
hurt Mr. Wuggles.
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427. Come on, think.
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428. Think, think...
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429. Hiya, Jimmy.
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430. Brain blast!
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431. Carl, hand me
that hamster trail.
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432. Sheen, get my magnifying ray.
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433. I'm going to lure
Mr. Wuggles back to the lab
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434. with the one thing
no hamster can resist.
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435. Wugga, wugga, wugga, wug.
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436. It's working.
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437. Get ready, Carl.
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438. Wugga, wugga,
wugga, wug.
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439. Now, Sheen! Initialize!
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440. Jimbo, you out here?
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441. Come on, now.
Mom didn't mean to scare you.
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442. Hugh, that was
not our son.
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443. That thing had fur and
big teeth and whiskers.
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444. I've been calling him
"Furry Jimmy."
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445. Hi, guys.
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446. Hey, Jimbo!
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447. You got your old head back.
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448. I tried to tell your mother
we had everything under control
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449. but she never listens to me.
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450. But I-I-I...
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451. I am never leaving
you two alone again.
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452. Hmmph!
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453. Well, I guess our little
father-son day
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454. was just what you needed,
eh, son?
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455. Uh, sure, Dad, if you say so.
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456. I love you, Mr. Wuggles.
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457. All right!
A lizard!
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458. If I use Jimmy's pods
to switch bodies with it
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459. I can be Lizard Lord!
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460. Behold, my tongue
of doom and tremble.
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461. Tremble!
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462. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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463. and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
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