The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius 1x5

Directed by Keith Alcorn

Rob Paulsen as Thomas Edison (voice) • Crystal Scales as Libby Folfax / Chuck (voice) • Candi Milo as Nick Dean (voice) • Andrea Martin as Ms. Fowl (voice) • Carolyn Lawrence as Cindy Vortex (voice) • Frank Welker as Goddard / Special Vocal Effects (voice)

To settle an argument with Cindy, Jimmy brings Thomas Edison to school.

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1. Gotta Blast!

2. Help!

3. Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

4. and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS

5. But of all the ocean's mysteries...

6. my favorite is the haunting mating call

7. of the humpback whale.

8. Very good, Carl.

9. Ooh. Oh, that wasn't a mating call, Miss Fowl.

10. Butch just gave me a wedgie.

11. I want everyone to choose up partners

12. for your oceanography projects.

13. Hey, hey, don't fight over me, boys.

14. There's plenty of genius for everyone.

15. Actually, Jimmy, I'm still radioactive

16. from last time we were lab partners.

17. Yeah, and I still can't go near power plants.

18. Oh... okay.

19. Poor, Speutron.

20. What's it like

21. knowing no one wants to be your partner?

22. I don't know, Cindy.

23. Why don't you turn around and find out?

24. Libby, what are you doing with Britney?

25. Nothing.

26. This-This isn't the new Mix Master P CD.

27. I mean, I didn't promise

28. to do Britney's entire project in exchange for it

29. if that's what you're thinking.

30. Well, you two, it would seem

31. you're the only ones left without partners.

32. Let the record show that Jimmy and Cindy will work

33. on their oceanography project together!

34. Why, that new school bell is a real waker-upper.

35. Ah, come on out, Jimmy.

36. I've got Fish Snack 'Ems—

37. the great taste of fried seafood in a bag.

38. Yeah, Jimmy.

39. Hiding from Cindy isn't the answer.

40. Not when reasonably-priced plastic surgery is

41. so readily available.

42. That won't be necessary, boys.

43. May I present my latest invention...

44. the Neutron Submersible—

45. capable of attaining undersea depths of 90,000 fathoms.

46. 90,000 fathoms!

47. That's more than...

48. 60,000 fathoms.

49. Uh, Jimmy, if you're going to start

50. a new life under the sea

51. can we have your stuff?

52. I'm not moving, Carl.

53. I've simply devised a project so adventurous

54. that Cindy won't go anywhere near it.

55. Allow me to explain using these info-taining visual aids.

56. Two centuries ago, a pirate ship named

57. the Oozy Scab hit a squall

58. and sank to the bottom of Retroville Bay

59. with a mysterious treasure chest.

60. No sub could ever get deep enough to retrieve it

61. until today.

62. I'm finding that treasure.

63. Listen, Neutron.

64. I'm not any happier

65. about being lab partners than you are

66. so let's just classify some seashells

67. and get it over with.

68. Darn it all, Cindy!

69. I wish I could join you in your fascinating

70. seashell project, but I've already planned

71. a dangerous search for a shipwreck

72. in my extremely cramped submarine.

73. Okay, I'm in.

74. What?

75. But-But... there will be sharks and-and minimal leg room!

76. I think I can handle it.

77. Now, we'll need some quality personnel

78. to man the controls.

79. On second thought, you guys will do.

80. We sail at dawn.

81. Gentlemen— and annoying female interloper—

82. by the end of this journey, we'll all be rich.

83. This is awesome, Jimmy.

84. I've never been in a submarine before.

85. Hey, Jimmy, I found a cool video game

86. starring a thin, green guy and his friend, Mr. Bleep Bleep.

87. That's the radar, Carl.

88. Oh. Well, my mom doesn't let us have radar.

89. If you three sea slugs are done fooling around

90. maybe we can get down to work.

91. Now, after researching the last known coordinates

92. of the Oozy Scab, and accounting for 200 years of ocean drift

93. I've been able to map out the wreck's probable location.

94. Maps are old school.

95. I've invented something

96. that'll make finding the Oozy Scab a no-brainer.

97. Oh, yeah, here we go.

98. Time to complicate a perfectly good plan

99. with one of your goofy, unnecessary inventions.

100. You're just jealous 'cause Jimmy's a genius.

101. Go ahead, Captain Jimmy.

102. Tell us about your goofy, unnecessary invention.

103. I give you

104. the Gill Gab 9000—

105. the world's first fish translating device.

106. We just speak into the microphone

107. and our words are translated into fish sonar

108. allowing us to interview the fish

109. and ask them where the treasure is.

110. And you wanted to use a map.

111. Well, that is the lamest thing I've ever heard.

112. What dunderhead would want to talk

113. to a bunch of stupid fish?

114. I want to talk to fish! I want to talk to fish!

115. Give me that.

116. Oh, hey, you little fellow.

117. Hi.

118. Do you like Fish Snack 'Ems?

119. They're made from fish like you

120. only cut up into little, bite-size pieces

121. and deep fried in burning oil.

122. Carl, you're supposed to ask about the treasure.

123. Hey, you smelling pile of scales.

124. I know you know where the Oozy Scab is

125. so start singing before I go barracuda on you!

126. Uh, maybe I'll just ask the questions, huh?

127. So, I says to him...

128. You want to know what I says to him?

129. Yeah, okay.

130. I says, "What's this blonde scale

131. doing on your dorsal fin?"

132. Wha...? Uh-huh.

133. "Have you been seeing

134. that angel fish again?"

135. And you know what he says?

136. I don't know what he says.

137. Okay, okay. Thanks a lot. Bye.

138. Got to go.

139. Well, she was a gold mine

140. of information.

141. Ready to admit

142. your invention's a flop yet, Neutron?

143. Yeah, maybe Cindy's right, Jimmy.

144. We've been interviewing fish for hours.

145. And we'll keep interviewing them until I say so!

146. Miss Fowl maybe have made Cindy my lab partner

147. but it's still my ship!

148. You just can't deal with the fact

149. that my plan's better than yours.

150. Is not! Is so.

151. Is not. Is so!

152. Is not! Is so.

153. Stop it! Stop it!

154. Can't you see your constant fighting is

155. tearing us all apart?

156. That was cool, Carl.

157. I really believed you for a second.

158. ( chuckling ): Thanks.

159. I saw that on a soap opera once.

160. I'm tired, Jimmy.

161. I want to go home.

162. You've been talking to fish all night.

163. Do you even know where we are?

164. Don't worry.

165. I made an automatic pilot system out of my mom's microwave.

166. It's been piloting the sub for hours.

167. Whoops.

168. Wrong setting.

169. Well, we couldn't have drifted too far.

170. Hmm.

171. Anyone familiar with the Sea of Japan?

172. Great.

173. Nice going, Neutron.

174. Not only haven't we found the treasure

175. but now we're completely lost.

176. Lost? We can't be lost.

177. We only brought enough food for two days.

178. And I'm not eating Carl.

179. Well, I'm not eating you, either.

180. Okay. Maybe a bite.

181. No one's eating anybody.

182. Just give me time to come up with a plan.

183. Too late. You had your chance.

184. Now, stand down.

185. What?

186. You can't take over my sub.

187. Oh, no?

188. Miss Fowl made us lab partners.

189. That makes me co-captain.

190. According to The Big Book of Submarines

191. that gives me the right to relieve you of duty.

192. Throw him in the brig!

193. It'll take a lot more than ravenous hunger

194. to turn my men against me.

195. Show her, boys.

196. I'll get some rope.

197. I'll hold him down.

198. Hey, hey, you can't do this.

199. This is mutiny.

200. Turn this tub around, boys.

201. We've got an Oozy Scab to find.

202. Mr. Bleep Bleep says

203. large object at 2:00.

204. Hey, cool.

205. It's the Oozy Scab.

206. Yes!

207. Did you hear that, Neutron?

208. Beginner's luck.

209. I'm taking her in close.

210. Steady, steady.

211. Sea monster!

212. No, it's not.

213. It's a giant squid.

214. Oh.

215. Giant squid!

216. What should we do, Jimmy?

217. How do I know?

218. You're the captain.

219. But I don't want to be captain anymore.

220. You be captain.

221. Fine. First admit that I'm a smarter, nicer

222. all-around better person than you.

223. Forget it!

224. Attention, giant squid.

225. We mean you no harm.

226. It's all Jimmy's fault!

227. It's not working, Cindy!

228. Uh, can't we just let Jimmy out?

229. But... I...

230. Oh, all right.

231. Say the magic words.

232. Jimmy Neutron is a smarter, nicer

233. all-around better person than I am.

234. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?

235. Hurry, Jimmy.

236. Do something.

237. Hmm, the Gill Gab seems functional.

238. Why isn't it working?

239. Whoa! Hurry, Jimmy.

240. Quick, Carl, throw me your bag of Fish Snack 'Ems.

241. Just as I thought.

242. Freeze-dried squid.

243. Aha!

244. I don't get it.

245. Don't you see?

246. The squid can't understand us

247. because the Gill Gab only works on fish.

248. But if I put squid DNA from Carl's snack

249. on the Gill Gab's microchip

250. maybe we can communicate with him.

251. Aha!

252. I don't get it.

253. Attention, Squid, we come in peace.

254. ( British accent ): I say, who said that?

255. We mean no harm.

256. We just came for the treasure chest

257. inside the boat.

258. That piece of rubbish?

259. Why didn't you say so?

260. And to think I was about to crush your heads

261. and suck out your guts.

262. Oh, dear.

263. There you are.

264. You did it, Jimmy!

265. And don't worry.

266. Despite your mutinous behavior

267. you'll all still get a cut

268. of the treasure.

269. This is the most

270. delicious salt water taffy I've ever tasted, children.

271. Your project gets an "A-plus"!

272. You know, Jimmy, I hear

273. each one of these pieces of taffy is worth over three cents.

274. I don't want to talk about it.

275. Now, Carl. Now.

276. Oh, why doesn't he push the button?

277. Hey, Jimmy.

278. I was having an argument

279. with my stupid little sister.

280. Is the Potty Fairy real?

281. The Potty Fairy?

282. ( scoffs ) Of course not.

283. Then who have I been aiming at all these years?

284. I'll ask Carl.

285. He's more worldly.

286. Carl, what happened?

287. You were supposed to deploy

288. the antigravity parachute at 5,000 feet.

289. Uh, sorry there, Jimmy.

290. I guess I fell asleep again.

291. Well, your lack of focus is interfering with science.

292. Honey...

293. I'm going to the supermarket

294. and your dad's coming along to eat the loose grapes

295. from the spill gutter around the produce bin.

296. Eat grapy-grape grapes.

297. Got to get them before they turn into raisins

298. because after that... ( groans )

299. That's it. Food.

300. You just haven't catalyzed enough hydrocarbons

301. into C02, water and energy this morning.

302. Huh?

303. You're hungry.

304. Hey, Jimmy, you were right about

305. the Potty Fairy.

306. But surely you must believe in

307. the Garbage Disposal Bunny. No.

308. Carl, I have a few more experiments

309. you're going to have to be wide awake for

310. so eat the rest of... ( thumping )

311. Carl? ( snoring )

312. You obviously need more food.

313. Well, till your parents get back

314. all you've got is lima beans.

315. ( gasps ): I hate lima beans!

316. And I'm not hungry, Jimmy.

317. I'm tired, 'cause of...

318. the nightmare!

319. It's awful!

320. A horrible, spooky thing's chasing me.

321. And I run and I run, but I can't get away!

322. You should do what I do during a nightmare.

323. Simply prove, on paper— using non-Euclidean geometry—

324. that the feared object is a logical impossibility

325. and it vanishes!

326. Yeah, but my dreams aren't as logical as yours, Jimmy.

327. I married a turkey once.

328. Plus, when I'm asleep

329. you're not there to explain things.

330. True.

331. Wait, just a neutronic minute!

332. Thanks to my most recent invention, I can be.

333. I call it the Dream Injector 5,000.

334. It's revolutionary!

335. And it's safe.

336. ( nasally ): Are you sure?

337. Carl, I'm going to project your dream

338. into the somnus portal

339. then walk through and up this tube

340. and into your nightmare.

341. Is it going to hurt?

342. No, huh-uh.

343. I'll be fine.

344. Now, uh, go to sleep.

345. Well, I can't just go to sleep.

346. Why not?

347. Um, 'cause I have a soothing routine.

348. First, my mom turns down the light.

349. Vox, lights.

350. Then... ( sniffles )... she makes me hot milk.

351. Oh, for crying in mud.

352. Goddard!

353. Anything else?

354. CARL Oh, no!

355. I'm in my underwear at the mall!

356. He's asleep.

357. If I'm not out of his dream in an hour

358. wake him up.

359. Rodger-dodger.

360. ( yawns ): Good night, moon.

361. It works!

362. I'm inside Carl's dream.

363. Sorry I'm late.

364. My paddle broke, so I had to row my desk to school

365. with this plastic leg.

366. Quiet. ( clucking )

367. The great, merciful and powerfully-chinned Carl

368. is about to speak... ( clucking )... speak.

369. Thank you, Winifred.

370. This is my revolutionary voltage pandolizer.

371. I converted the hoskibobits to the flutch

372. by putting it through the hoobaboobler.

373. Ooh, wow. Ooh... Wow.

374. When Carl's asleep

375. he dreams he's a genius, like me.

376. Like you? Please!

377. You can't even spell your own name.

378. Now, I'll need a dumb, but willing, volunteer.

379. But I'm not dumb.

380. I'm a genius.

381. ( laughing ): If you're so smart

382. what's the square root of a flexnard, huh?

383. Well, that doesn't make any sense.

384. The square root of a flexnard is a cup full of boogers.

385. He did that all in his head.

386. Come on, Carl.

387. We don't have time for this.

388. We've got work to do.

389. I will now turn on

390. the Really Smart Experiment machine.

391. You wired that coil wrong.

392. All this will do is give me 10,000 volts

393. which— since this is a dream—

394. I won't actually...

395. Ooh...

396. Oh, no.

397. Whatever Carl dreams actually happens to me.

398. Sheen! Sheen!

399. Wake him up!

400. Sheen?

401. Sheen!

402. Okay, enough!

403. Carl, you're asleep.

404. This is a dream.

405. ( scoffs ): Don't be silly.

406. If it was a dream, could I do this?

407. That's the only time you can do it.

408. Carl... you're asleep.

409. There are llamas in the classroom.

410. Libby rode to school with a plastic leg!

411. Her paddle broke!

412. We don't have time for this!

413. He-He touched his astounded Carlness!

414. Send him to the Ultra Principal.

415. What are you doing?

416. For behold

417. I am the Ultra Principal!

418. No, you're not.

419. You're a friend of mine inside a dream

420. another friend of mine's having.

421. Hah! And again, hah!

422. If I was a mere dream, could I do this?

423. That's Carl's brain.

424. Is not.

425. ( authoritative voice ): I am the brain

426. of the Ultra Principal

427. dispenser of justice throughout the universe.

428. Okay. What am I here for?

429. You've insulted Carl

430. the smartest and handsomest student in all the land.

431. I sentence you to be his monkey boy

432. for a m-million years.

433. With the duty of testing his inventions

434. and fashioning festive doily hats

435. for him to wear.

436. I'm not going to agree to that.

437. You already signed your name— incorrectly, by the way—

438. on this binding Monkey Boy Contract.

439. Hah! That's not my signature.

440. Huh?

441. They're free gutter grapes

442. that would only spoil otherwise

443. your Magnificent Geniousness.

444. Hey, Mom and Dad, look.

445. It's my personal monkey boy.

446. Hey, th-those aren't your parents.

447. They're mine!

448. Don't be silly, young man.

449. I would never have a child as dim-witted as you.

450. Plus, if it was a dream, could I do this?

451. Ew, Hugh, you're brain's all wet and stretchy.

452. ( muffled ): That's my tongue.

453. Let go. I've got to taste pie with that.

454. Carl, listen to me.

455. I'm only here to help you vanquish

456. the horrible spooky thing.

457. Who told monkey boy about the sp-sp-spooky thing?

458. This is hopeless.

459. Wait a minute.

460. If he won't listen to real logic

461. maybe I should try dream logic.

462. Worth a try.

463. You told me about the spooky thing

464. oh, brilliant, handsome Carl

465. while you were a-peddling a bike with no wheels

466. backwards, up the pyramids, um, in a ballerina's tutu.

467. Oh, yeah.

468. I remember that.

469. But-But even you probably aren't smart enough

470. to know where it lives.

471. Oh, no?

472. For your information, it's...

473. ( whimpers ): under there.

474. That's what you're scared of?

475. A stupid lima bean?

476. I know you hate 'em, Carl, but they're not scary.

477. Look, Carl, wake up!

478. That thing can really eat me!

479. I'm not asleep.

480. Yes, you are.

481. And we're going to prove it mathematically

482. using the Riemann hypothesis.

483. ( panting ): Write this down.

484. All of nontrivial zeroes of the zeta function

485. have real part equal to one-half...

486. Okay, but my pen just turned into a worm.

487. Oh, hi, honey.

488. I brought you dinner.

489. Genius won't help me here.

490. I need to show Carl something so outrageous

491. he'll realize the only explanation is he's asleep.

492. But what?

493. I-I washed your brain.

494. But I had trouble getting the think stains out.

495. That's it!

496. Jimmy kissing Cindy?

497. Oh, that couldn't happen in a million years.

498. I must be dreaming.

499. Oh, wow, I had the craziest dream.

500. I know, I was there.

501. You almost got me killed by a legume.

502. Sheen, don't move.

503. There's a giant

504. man-eating lima bean behind you.

505. Hah! You guys.

506. I haven't believed in that since I was, like, seven.

507. Luckily, as all bean farmers know

508. Phaseolus limensis perishes when exposed

509. to dry air and overly nitrogenous soil.

510. But you hit it with a hammer.

511. Come on, honey, right this way.

512. ( moaning ) It's okay.

513. ( sighs ): Your father got overexcited

514. and ate a bolt that fell off a grocery cart.

515. It was grape-shaped. Yes.

516. Uh, hey, Carl, you won't tell anyone

517. about that awful, desperate thing I had to do

518. to wake you up, will ya?

519. Of course not, Jimmy.

520. Not even in his dreams, Neutron!

521. Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

522. and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS

523. Oh.

524. Hi. I'm Paul.

525. Got to blast!