1. Gotta Blast!
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2. Help!
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3. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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4. and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
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5. Oh, no you don't,
Mr. Muscles.
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6. If you hurt your back
lifting those
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7. you'll be no use
to me tonight
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8. on our third
honeymoon
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9. when I want all the furniture
in the hotel room rearranged.
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10. Don't couples usually
go on second honeymoons?
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11. We had one of those
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12. but thanks to a certain
young genius
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13. and his "Forgeto-blaster"
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14. it was wiped
out of our brains.
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15. Oh, yeah.
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16. Along with the entire
fifth year of our marriage.
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17. I do so wish I could
remember that year.
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18. Do you think I had pie?
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19. All right, Jimbo,
now listen.
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20. We're going to be staying
at the Wild Animal Land
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21. in the Dead Zebra Carcass
suite.
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22. Don't tell your mother.
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23. It's going to be a big surprise.
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24. Oh, and Jimmy
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25. Granny Neutron's
coming over while we're gone.
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26. Aw, Mom.
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27. Don't you remember my theorem
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28. proving mathematically, I don't
need anyone to watch me?
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29. No, Jim-Jam, she's
not watching you.
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30. You're watching her.
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31. Besides, you can keep
each other company.
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32. Now, remember, we're counting
on you to watch out for her.
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33. And don't conduct any more
experiments on her, Jimbo.
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34. At her age, the last thing
you want is excitement.
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35. Told you I could get here from
the airport in under 50 cents.
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36. Mom!
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37. Oh, Mother Neutron.
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38. Hi, Granny.
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39. Jimmy, you tote my clothes.
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40. Hugh...
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41. you carry my pills,
syrups, salves
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42. serums, girdles,
ointments
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43. medical devices...
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44. Trade you.
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45. and miscellaneous
supports.
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46. Hugh, darling
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47. Do you think Jimmy
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48. will be able to take care
of Granny all right?
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49. I wouldn't worry
about that, sugar.
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50. I'm sure she can keep
Jimmy entertained
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51. with one of her
exciting stories.
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52. And by the time they cleaned out
both of my ears
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53. there was enough wax piled up
to open a candle shop.
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54. And then
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55. they found this
hair in my ear
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56. that they think might
go right through to my foot.
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57. Age is a cruel,
cruel thing, Goddard.
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58. In a short 65 years
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59. you completely lose
your ability to tell
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60. when people want you
to stop talking.
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61. And forget Preparation H.
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62. I've made it all the way
to Preparation X.
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63. Wait a second.
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64. If I made her young again,
I'd bet she'd stop complaining.
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65. But I promised Mom and Dad
I wouldn't experiment on Granny
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66. especially after that time
I made her magnetic.
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67. Bye-bye.
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68. I had a wonderful time...
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69. She's awfully old.
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70. Hope this is enough.
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71. Good morning.
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72. I was just telling you
over there
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73. about my deviated spatum.
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74. On cold mornings
it rattles like the tin man
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75. throwing up a hoagie
full of wood screws.
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76. What's in the bottle?
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77. Tongue defurrer.
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78. Your tongue
gets furry when you're old.
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79. Sometimes I wake up
and the cat's chewing on it.
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80. Oh, let me open that for you.
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81. I think you'll feel
much better and quieter
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82. after you drink this.
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83. Mm, hmm.
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84. Tastes funny.
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85. Of course,
what do I know?
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86. After 60, your sense of
taste completely disa...
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87. Granny?
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88. Goo-goo-ga-gee.
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89. Uh-oh.
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90. Granny?
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91. I feel great.
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92. Did I just take
my morphine?
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93. Uh, uh...
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94. No, Granny, you're, uh...
well, you're sort of a...
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95. baby.
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96. Holy fiber caps,
I'm topless!
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97. Oh, man, this isn't good.
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98. Where'd you get the diaper?
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99. I was already
wearing it.
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100. Ooh...
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101. I need my diadey changed.
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102. Problem.
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103. Goddard, change diaper.
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104. Change me now.
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105. Who can change a diaper?
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106. I don't know any nurses.
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107. Oh, no way.
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108. I love and respect Mom
far too much
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109. to let her know
I disobeyed her.
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110. Huh-uh, no way, I will never,
ever ask Cindy for a favor.
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111. Clean my poopie.
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112. Okay, let's go ask Cindy
for a favor, shall we?
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113. So, how much have we
collected so far, Libby?
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114. I'm starving.
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115. We're $1.23 away from
just enough to split
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116. an enchillaburitto
from Taco Horn.
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117. Look at this!
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118. This must be
a discontinued Ultra Lord
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119. double-barreled slingshot.
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120. Uh... sure.
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121. Ten bucks.
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122. Uh... all right, deal.
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123. Uh, I don't know,
Sheen.
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124. If that's what it is,
then my mom has a lot
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125. of Ultra Lord double-
barreled slingshots.
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126. Do you have any other
Ultra Lord collectibles?
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127. No.
Pay and leave.
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128. Any Ultra Lord videos?
No.
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129. DVDs?
No.
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130. CD-ROMs?
No.
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131. TV episodes...
No!
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132. What about the
discolored pajamas
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133. you get at the swap meet?
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134. No!
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135. Do I look like
the kind of pathetic
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136. self-diluted dweeb case
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137. who'd have any
Ultra Lord anything?
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138. No.
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139. You look more like
a regular kind
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140. of pathetic self-diluted
dweeb case.
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141. Hey, Jimmy.
What's up, Jim?
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142. What are you doing here?
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143. Fine, thank you.
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144. So, say... great stuff.
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145. Um, I was wondering
where your mom is?
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146. Why?
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147. Well, uh,
well, here's the thing.
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148. I, uh, need some help,
with, uh... this.
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149. Aw.
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150. Ew.
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151. Yeah, see, I think
she might need changing.
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152. What was
your first clue?
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153. So you'll do it?
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154. As much as I detest helping
smug, pseudo-brainiacs
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155. my nurturing female instincts
will not let me
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156. leave a helpless infant
in your care.
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157. Where's the new diaper?
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158. New diaper?
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159. What's wrong with
what she's wearing?
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160. It's full of poo!
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161. I thought you were
a genius.
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162. Hey, he's a guy.
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163. She-she talked.
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164. Well, now that we got past that
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165. I've got
a rash brewing down here
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166. that would make a red-hot
chili pepper look pale.
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167. Cindy, Libby,
um...
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168. Granny Neutron.
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169. You turned your own
grandmother into a baby?
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170. I have a loophole.
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171. I mean, an explanation.
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172. This could have happened
to anyone with a genius IQ
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173. and access
to unstable chemicals.
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174. Could we hurry up?
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175. I'm getting dizzy
from my own fumes here.
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176. Ooh...
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177. dolly.
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178. How long is she going
to be a baby?
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179. Well, I'm not sure exactly
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180. but I've got to change her back
before Mom and Dad get home.
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181. Well, how many diapers
do we need?
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182. Well, I'd err on
the side of hundreds.
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183. So, great,
here's some money
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184. and a list of things
I need for the antidote.
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185. I'll see you when you get
back from the store. Thanks.
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186. Whoa, no you don't.
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187. Libby, you run the yard sale
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188. while Dr. Spock and I
go to the shop.
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189. That's fine by me.
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190. I'm bored.
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191. Make a funny face
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192. and let me hit you
with my rattle.
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193. No.
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194. Okay, okay.
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195. Bleh.
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196. It's fun hitting you.
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197. Granny, Granny, quiet.
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198. Did that baby
just talk?
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199. No, ha, ha.
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200. Everyone knows
babies can't talk.
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201. That's right,
'cause if we could
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202. the Video Tubbies
would be canceled so quick
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203. it would make
their head aerials spin.
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204. Luckily I've got 36 hours
to make the antidote
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205. before my parents
return.
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206. Hello?
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207. Honey, it's Mom.
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208. We're coming home.
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209. No!
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210. I mean, oh, great.
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211. I mean, oh, why?
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212. Well, your father
accidentally disturbed a nest
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213. and had a run-in
with a mother eagle.
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214. How's Granny?
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215. Oh, she's great.
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216. Yeah, you wouldn't
even... recognize her.
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217. Oh, well, I'm very proud of you,
Jimmy.
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218. We'll see you and Granny soon.
Bye-bye.
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219. Wait, wait...
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220. Really,
I wasn't trying
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221. to harm your
little eaglets...
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222. Stop talking to it, Hugh.
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223. I think it calms her.
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224. Try moving your finger
like a worm.
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225. No.
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226. We want the talking baby!
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227. We want the talking baby!
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228. Goddard
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229. compare antidote completion
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230. with mother's return time— go.
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231. Oh, Mom and Dad!
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232. Oh, come on.
Think, think, think.
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233. Brain blast!
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234. Okay, as soon as
that turns blue
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235. pour it in a baby bottle
and bring it outside.
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236. Come on, Granny.
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237. Ladies and gentleman
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238. I give you
the amazing, talking baby!
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239. Hey, give me a cuddle.
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240. And a diaper change
while you're at it.
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241. Hey, hey, there's a string
in her back.
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242. Oh, no, I have been found out.
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243. Yes, you have, son.
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244. Whew.
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245. Here.
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246. Anything else you'd like?
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247. Your slippers
and a pipe, maybe?
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248. Hello, honey.
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249. How was everything?
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250. Oh, hi, Mom.
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251. Nothing unusual here.
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252. Just me and Granny
obeying all your rules.
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253. Yes, ma'am, that's
what we're doing.
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254. Hey, Mr. Neutron.
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255. That shirt's cool.
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256. And so's that big bird
on your head.
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257. It's actually
an eagle, Sheen.
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258. It considers me
a hostile predator.
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259. Ooh, does that hurt?
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260. Yes. Very much.
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261. Well, I'd love to stay
and help you
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262. narrowly avoid
even more consequences
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263. of your stupid actions
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264. but it looks
like Libby and I
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265. have a date with
some enchillaburittos.
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266. It's nice
to have you back, Granny.
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267. So nice to be back,
Jimmy.
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268. Hey, Jim,
I'm really thirsty.
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269. Does your mom have
any lemonade?
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270. Drink this.
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271. No!
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272. Carl?
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273. You okay?
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274. Well, my eyes hurt,
my hair's gone
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275. and I have a powerful
urge to dance badly.
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276. I'll take
a piece of that.
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277. Oh, great.
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278. Oh, yes.
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279. And that concludes
the first tenth
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280. of our very long discussion
of the electromagnetic balance
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281. in the left hemisphere
of the brain.
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282. Oh.
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283. Who would have thought
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284. the frontal lobe
would have had
that much influence
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285. over the corpus
callosum, huh?
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286. Not me.
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287. Me, neither.
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288. Hey, Jimmy, you think
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289. you could come up
with an adventure?
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290. You know,
like changing the channel?
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291. You know, I don't know.
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292. Maybe, like, um,
I don't know.
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293. A remote control.
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294. Yeah, Jim.
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295. Like, this is informative
and all
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296. but I think I'd rather
be covered in bees.
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297. And I'm allergic.
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298. Well, it wasn't all
painfully horrible, Jimmy.
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299. I like the part
about the medulla oblongata.
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300. I don't know what it means,
but I love the way it sounds.
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301. Back, or I will slay thee
with my medulla oblongata.
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302. What do you guys want to watch?
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303. Ultra Lord.
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304. Yeah, I'm pretty much good
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305. with anything that's not this.
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306. All right.
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307. Don't touch that dial.
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308. What would you say
if I told you
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309. you could harness all
the information in the universe?
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310. All of it?
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311. That's right.
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312. You can possess infinite
knowledge.
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313. And it's all right here
in the new 1,000-volume set
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314. of The Encyclopedia
of Infinite Knowledge.
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315. What ancient civilization built
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316. an entire royal palace
from shredded wheat?
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317. What species of owl
can be milked like a cow?
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318. Where is Waldo?
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319. That's right.
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320. 1,000 volumes.
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321. Just order now,
and you'll receive a new volume
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322. every week for 19.23 years.
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323. The Encyclopedia
of Infinite Knowledge.
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324. Order now or you're an idiot.
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325. Wow!
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326. Did you guys
see that?
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327. There's never been an
encyclopedia like that.
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328. Ever.
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329. I've got
to have it.
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330. That's so crazy.
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331. Because I so don't want it.
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332. Well, sorry, guys.
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333. I got to go
talk to my
mom right now.
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334. Hi. I'm calling
about the encyclopedia.
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335. Yes.
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336. And how much is the set?
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337. Oh.
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338. My.
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339. Uh, well, thank you anyway.
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340. Well, Jimmy, your mother
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341. sort of keeps track
of the finances, and I...
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342. don't.
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343. Dad, they're
educational.
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344. Encyclopedias are
an investment.
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345. Yeah, but they make my brain...
twitch.
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346. Now, what you want to do, Jimmy,
is be thankful
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347. for the things you already have.
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348. Look, we all want things.
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349. Would I like to have
a six-foot duck sculpture
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350. with a year's supply
of free pie?
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351. You bet you, I would.
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352. Uh, we don't have the kind
of money.
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353. I wish we were rich.
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354. Oh, well, there was a time, Jim,
when that almost a reality.
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355. You know, years ago,
I almost invested
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356. in McSpanky's Burger Factory.
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357. McSpanky's?
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358. Really?
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359. Sure.
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360. 15 years ago, I picked up
a scruffy-looking McSpanky
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361. on the side of the road.
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362. He didn't have a penny
to his name.
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363. Told me all about
this grand scheme he had
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364. to assembly-line hard, little
tasteless burger patties
to the masses
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365. disguising them
with inexpensive condiments
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366. and yummy buns.
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367. He offered me a full partnership
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368. for $50 of startup money
and a back rub.
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369. And you didn't do it?
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370. Well, Jimmy...
I almost did it.
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371. But then decided
to use that money for a more...
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372. important reason.
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373. Man has to have his priorities.
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374. I need money
is what I need.
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375. Uh, gee, Goddard.
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376. It's not fair.
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377. I wish
I could go back in time
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378. and convince him
to invest in...
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379. That's it.
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380. If we go back in time
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381. I can convince Dad
to invest in McSpanky's
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382. and then, we'll have all
the money we'll ever need.
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383. Gentlemen, I give you...
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384. the time booth.
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385. Just punch
in the time
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386. and visit the period
of your choosing.
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387. Go on.
Step inside.
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388. Um, has this thing
been tested
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389. by an independent
laboratory?
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390. Uh, who cares, Carl?
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391. Where we going, Jimmy?
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392. Okay. My Dad said
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393. he met Hank McSpanky
15 years ago
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394. so, I'll just set this
to 15 years in the past
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395. and we'll just...
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396. Hold the phone.
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397. You mean, McSpanky
Burger Factory McSpanky?
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398. Uh, that's my favorite place
in the whole wide world.
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399. Okay. Enough, you guys.
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400. We're ready
for the maiden voyage.
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401. Maiden voyage?
Maiden voyage?
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402. You're bringing a girl with us?
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403. Wow!
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404. The past is so dark.
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405. It's spooky.
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406. No, guys.
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407. The lab used to
be a basement.
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408. We did it.
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409. We went back
15 years in time.
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410. Yeah.
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411. I just love those three guys
with the high-pitched
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412. female-type voices.
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413. Check out the new
moves, Sugar Booger.
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414. I call it The
Monkey Grind.
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415. Oh, Hugh.
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416. You are so groovy.
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417. Grind that monkey.
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418. I'm grinding the chimp, too.
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419. Jimmy, can we please
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420. go back to the present?
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421. The past is
kind of dorky.
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422. N-not yet, Carl.
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423. I-I've got to convince Dad
to invest with McSpanky.
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424. Ooh.
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425. Mom, Dad.
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426. Hey, you cats don't live here...
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427. do you?
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428. How did you
get in here?
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429. Of course they don't know me.
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430. We don't exist yet.
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431. Would you let
me handle this?
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432. We come from
the future.
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433. You know what he means?
The door.
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434. The door was open,
so we just, uh, uh...
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435. Came inside?
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436. Yeah. Your crib.
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437. Uh, I'm Jimmy,
and these are my friends—
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438. Carl and Sheen.
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439. Hi.
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440. Glad to birada nicto.
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441. Jimmy.
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442. Uh, I love that name.
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443. Oh, that's quite a wild-sized
noggin you got going there, son.
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444. You're like a mod...
buffalo-headed boy.
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445. Now, look, I'm all for freedom,
Buffalo Boy, but you guys...
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446. You can't just go busting in
to a cool cat's bachelor pad.
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447. Bachelor pad?
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448. You mean you two
aren't married yet?
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449. Marriage is
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450. for the older scene, man.
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451. Besides, Judy Cakes only lives
five minutes from here
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452. and Hugh Doggy Dog's
a free spirit.
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453. We let love rule.
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454. The wind is our minister,
and true love is our chapel.
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455. Ah!
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456. Oh, Hughie.
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457. Ooh. Make it stop,
Jimmy. I...
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458. You seem familiar
somehow, Buffalo Boy.
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459. Are you one of
Hughby Dooby's
neighbors?
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460. Hughby Dooby. We live
down the street, and, um...
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461. Listen, can I talk to you
for a minute in private?
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462. Okay, listen
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463. I know we just
met and all
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464. but you have
to trust me
on this one.
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465. Now, when you
meet a man named
Hank McSpanky...
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466. Oh, you mean the smelly hobo
with the funny eye.
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467. You know him?
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468. Yeah, I just gave him a ride
the other day.
Copy !req
469. McSpanky's got some wacky
burger scheme
Copy !req
470. that he wants me
to invest my last $50 in, but...
Copy !req
471. Hey, hey. Do it.
Copy !req
472. What?
Invest.
Copy !req
473. Invest in McSpanky's
Burger Factory.
Copy !req
474. I did consider it
Copy !req
475. but there's something
very special
Copy !req
476. I'm planning
on using that money for.
Copy !req
477. A man has to have his priority.
Copy !req
478. Listen, listen, Dad.
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479. Uh, Hugh.
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480. Um... Hughby Dooby Do.
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481. Hey!
Copy !req
482. Only the chicks
can call me that.
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483. Sorry.
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484. You've got
to invest.
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485. McSpanky's Burger
Factory is going
Copy !req
486. to be huge, and
you'll be rich.
Copy !req
487. Oh, oh.
Copy !req
488. And when you're older
and have a son
Copy !req
489. make sure you get him
the 1,000-volume set
Copy !req
490. of The Encyclopedia
of Infinite Knowledge.
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491. I got to go.
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492. Ha-ha, we're back.
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493. Yeah, but-but everything looks
the same.
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494. Well... maybe he didn't
take my advice.
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495. Come on.
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496. Uh, Jimmy.
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497. I think he took your advice.
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498. We're rich.
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499. We're really rich.
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500. We're rich.
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501. Uh, Carl, Jimmy's
rich, not us.
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502. Okay.
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503. It's the principal
of the thing.
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504. I know.
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505. Um, Mom, Dad...
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506. I don't care if
he is my dad.
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507. Life-saving
operations
are expensive.
Copy !req
508. I mean, it's
my money, after all.
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509. If I give him some,
I have less.
Copy !req
510. Ow! Be careful.
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511. That's my
credit card hand.
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512. Mom, Dad!
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513. What?
Yeah, what?
Copy !req
514. Well, uh...
how are you guys?
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515. He's still
got two lungs.
Since I couldn't make up my mind
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516. Say it to him,
for God's sake.
I just said...
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517. Hey, hey, hey, come on,
I'm your son, and, well...
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518. Point?
Copy !req
519. Huh?
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520. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
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521. Oops! Looks like you just wasted
another chunk of my life.
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522. Thanks a lot, Jerry.
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523. It's Gary.
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524. It's Jimmy.
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525. Whatever. We don't have time
Copy !req
526. for this kind of...
Copy !req
527. talking thing you want to do.
Copy !req
528. And what are
they doing here?
Copy !req
529. The big one is odd
Copy !req
530. and the thin one
is... a weirdo.
Copy !req
531. Hey, you can't insult us
like that.
Copy !req
532. Here you go.
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533. Get yourself
something nice.
Copy !req
534. Sure they can.
Copy !req
535. Let's go,
odd guy.
Copy !req
536. You got it, weirdo.
Copy !req
537. Oh, and here's
some for you, too.
Copy !req
538. Bye-bye, now.
Copy !req
539. What do I do with this?
Copy !req
540. Oh, for heaven's sake!
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541. Hilgo.
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542. Hilgo?
Copy !req
543. He's being all...
sonish again.
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544. Da.
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545. Ooh, and get that contraption
out of here.
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546. You know I don't like it
in the house.
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547. Da.
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548. Oh. What happened,
Goddard?
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549. I thought being rich
would be great.
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550. Mom and Dad are...
Copy !req
551. Well, they're
not Mom and Dad.
Copy !req
552. Come on, Goddard.
Copy !req
553. Let's get Dad's 50 bucks back.
Copy !req
554. What do you
think, Jimalimb?
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555. That's just about
the greatest thing
Copy !req
556. I've ever seen.
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557. It's a Montana
Wormsnuffer.
Copy !req
558. Well, look here.
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559. My favorite men.
Copy !req
560. Jimmy, your father
and I had a talk
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561. and we've decided
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562. that as long
as it's for your education
Copy !req
563. we're going
to postpone our family vacation
Copy !req
564. and use that money
Copy !req
565. to order you
your encyclopedia set.
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566. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
567. Aw. You know what?
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568. I'm over that.
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569. I-I heard
it's not that great anyway
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570. but thanks, though.
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571. That was close.
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572. Hugh.
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573. Of course, it would have been
for a very... worthy cause.
Copy !req
574. Yes.
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575. Uh, Dad, can I just
ask you a question?
Copy !req
576. Hmm?
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577. Well, that $50
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578. that you didn't invest
with McSpanky—
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579. what did you spend it on?
Copy !req
580. Well, son, I spent it
on your mother's wedding ring.
Copy !req
581. Mm.
Copy !req
582. And it was all the money
your father had to his name.
Copy !req
583. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
584. You see it's about having
your priorities in order, son.
Copy !req
585. But, man, if I had
had $100 at the time
Copy !req
586. we'd be loaded
right now!
Copy !req
587. Ducks everywhere.
Copy !req
588. We'd live
in Quackertown.
Copy !req
589. And I would require
every member
Copy !req
590. of Quackertown
Copy !req
591. to have webbed feet
and a duck bill.
Copy !req
592. I would go to
the doctor myself
Copy !req
593. and have the webbed
toes put in.
Copy !req
594. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
Copy !req
595. and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
Copy !req
596. Oh.
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597. Hi. I'm Paul.
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598. Got to blast!
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