1. Gotta Blast!
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2. Help!
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3. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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4. and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
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5. Class, I hope
you're all planning
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6. to participate in tomorrow's
parent-child picnic games,
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7. though I'm sure
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8. Cindy and her mom
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9. will once again smear
the competition.
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10. Come anyway to watch Neutron
and his klutzy dad.
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11. Vortex, you know darn well
we won a medal last year.
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12. Yeah, for funniest
collision.
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13. Ooh...
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14. Class,
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15. please, it's not polite to...
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16. That collision was hilarious.
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17. It was
great.
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18. What am I going to do?
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19. My dad's all thumbs
and has two left feet.
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20. Cool! If your mom
grows a beard,
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21. we can start
our own circus.
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22. Me and my dad just want
to go the distance
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23. without breaking anything,
or twisting anything
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24. or pulling something
or dislocating...
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25. Okay...
we get it.
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26. Well, it's only
a game, right?
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27. And who knows?
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28. Maybe my dad will
surprise me this year.
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29. Hey, boys!
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30. Just going to the garage
to get... whoa!
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31. Does your mom
got game?
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32. Mom, could you please
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33. pass the pork loaf?
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34. Certainly, dear.
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35. Wow!
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36. Nice pass, Mom.
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37. Ever consider competing at
the amateur school picnic level?
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38. Well, I...
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39. That reminds me,
Jimbo...
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40. Aren't the parent-child
picnic games this Saturday?
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41. I've been looking forward to it
all year long.
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42. Hey, watch me shot-put
this potato!
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43. Oh! Oh! Ohh...!
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44. Hugh!
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45. Be careful.
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46. Ow! My eye!
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47. Oh, if Dad competes,
we lose for sure.
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48. Goddard— options.
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49. No... too mature.
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50. I'm no quitter.
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51. Hmm... cheating
would be dishonest,
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52. but I'm far too blinded by my
desire to destroy Cindy to care.
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53. To the lab!
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54. All right, just one more...
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55. Vox, display digital simulation
of Dad running.
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56. There.
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57. Now introduce corrective
electromagnetic cranial strip.
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58. You're going down,
Vortex.
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59. Ah, isn't this
great, Jimbo?
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60. You and me working
together as a team.
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61. Now, remember, son—
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62. there's no "I" in "team."
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63. Should we sublimate
our individuality
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64. for the good
of our combined effort?
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65. No, I mean there's no
letter "I" in the word "team."
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66. There's never a wrong time
for a spelling lesson, son.
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67. You know, Dad, I know how
important professional gear is
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68. to an athlete such
as yourself, so...
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69. Oh, look!
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70. A sweatband.
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71. Thanks, Jimmy.
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72. You know, once
I get going,
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73. I sweat like
a dock worker
on the noon shift.
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74. Um, Dad, shouldn't we
stretch or something?
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75. Uh, sorry, Carl.
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76. Can't risk it.
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77. Might dislocate a valve.
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78. Remember what happened
last year.
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79. Oh, yeah.
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80. That nurse was nice.
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81. Uh, Coach Grubber,
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82. my dad's out of town,
so I brought Max.
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83. He collects cans
outside my dad's office.
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84. No problem.
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85. The picnic games rule book
stipulates
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86. that in the event
of an absent parent,
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87. a vagrant may be substituted.
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88. So, where's
the free grub?
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89. Right this way,
Vagrant.
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90. I can't wait
to see the look
on Neutron's face
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91. when we whip
his butt.
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92. How about that klutzy
dad of his?
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93. That man is engaged in
a lifelong battle with gravity.
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94. May we have our ham back?
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95. Teams, take the field
for the marshmallow toss.
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96. Parents will stand
behind the line.
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97. Kids will fire marshmallows
into their pie holes.
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98. On your mark, get set...
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99. I didn't say go.
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100. Hurl!
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101. Dag nabbit, Carl,
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102. throw one.
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103. Ow, I'm hit!
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104. Am I bleeding?
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105. Incoming!
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106. Time— fall in
for a count.
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107. What's the deal,
Neutron?
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108. Last year, your dad couldn't
walk a straight line,
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109. and now he's like something
out of a fancy French circus.
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110. Je ne sais pas,
mademoiselle.
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111. With a record 37 marshmallows,
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112. Team Neutron wins
the first event.
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113. Yes, indeedy dandy.
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114. I'm on fire.
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115. I'm watching you,
Neutron.
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116. Fall in
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117. for the piggyback
teacher hurdles.
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118. Parents must vault over teachers
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119. while lugging their offspring
on their backs.
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120. Ready, set...
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121. I did not say "go."
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122. I said, "set."
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123. Ready, set, not go.
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124. Not go— go!
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125. Don't hurt Mama.
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126. Oh, dear, you're
wearing cleats?
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127. Ow!
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128. Behind you.
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129. Coming up.
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130. And dig it!
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131. We have a winner.
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132. Team Neutron
is dominating
these games.
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133. Who's hot?
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134. We're hot.
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135. Who's not?
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136. They're not.
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137. This can't be happening.
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138. Hey, that's weird.
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139. Headbands don't usually give off
electrostatic discharge.
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140. Mr. N.,
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141. may I offer you
a congratulatory Purple Flurp?
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142. Why, thank you, Cindy.
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143. My insides could
use a hose-down.
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144. Dad... no!
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145. Oh, no.
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146. Oh, yes.
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147. Say good-bye to
your medal, Neutron.
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148. Aren't you forgetting?
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149. There's only
one race left,
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150. and we already
have two wins.
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151. Aren't you forgetting
that the last event
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152. is worth 90%
of your score?
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153. Boy,
that was refreshing.
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154. I feel like doing
a one-handed double back flip.
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155. I think I will.
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156. Dad, wait.
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157. About your headband,
well...
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158. See, I electronically
enhanced it
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159. to make you better,
because I wanted to win.
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160. Well, I'm sorry
to hear that, son.
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161. You know, I thought
I'd taught you
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162. that winning
isn't important.
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163. What's important
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164. is the healthy
fellowship of sport.
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165. I'm sorry, Dad.
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166. I guess my need to win
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167. got the better of me.
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168. Smell that, Cindy.
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169. That's the stench of loserdom.
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170. Oh, yeah?
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171. Bring it on!
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172. When we're done with you,
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173. you'll be sucking loser
soup through a straw.
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174. But Dad, what happened
to the fellowship of sport?
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175. Sport, shmort.
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176. Losing blows eggwater.
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177. Now, let's kick
some Vortex hiney.
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178. Take your marks
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179. for the blindfolded
chariot race.
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180. Get set...
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181. And...
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182. I didn't say go.
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183. I didn't say go.
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184. Not yet, not yet, not yet.
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185. To the left.
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186. Dad, to the left!
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187. Cone at 2:00.
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188. Execute left turn now.
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189. Okay, a little to the right.
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190. No, look...
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191. Almost.
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192. No... stop!
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193. Onward to victory.
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194. Dad, lemonade stand!
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195. Dad, stop!
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196. Oh, for Pete's sake.
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197. Did we win?
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198. No, but I don't think
we're finished just yet.
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199. And for the third year in a row,
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200. the winner of the picnic games
is Team Vortex.
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201. Hold that trophy.
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202. This woman is an impostor.
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203. What?
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204. This is my mom.
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205. Impossible.
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206. The probabilities
of you and your mom
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207. having different eye color,
foot size and earlobe length
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208. are 270 million to one.
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209. You think just because
your stupid data says that,
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210. it's true?
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211. That, and the fact
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212. that she has a zipper
on the back of her neck.
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213. Aunt Suzy?
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214. Yes, it's me.
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215. Olympic champion and buff chick
magazine fold-out Suzy Vortex.
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216. Cheaters, cheaters.
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217. That means we win.
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218. Oh, goody, goody.
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219. Give me that prize.
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220. Dad, we can't accept that.
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221. We cheated, too.
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222. Oh, but Jimbo, it's so shiny,
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223. and there's an "I" in "shiny."
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224. Team Neutron is disqualified,
which means Team DeCarlo wins.
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225. Sorry, we cheated, too.
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226. Greased the wheels
on the wagon.
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227. Okay, then.
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228. Team Simkins?
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229. We cheated on
the hurdle thing.
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230. Team Jenson?
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231. Cheated.
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232. Wilderman?
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233. Played fair...
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234. Then cheated.
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235. You people are a disgrace!
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236. Isn't there anybody
who did not cheat?
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237. Take it easy, Dad.
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238. Now, go!
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239. Wait, hold it!
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240. We have a winner.
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241. First prize goes
to Team Wheezer.
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242. Huh?
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243. You hear that, son?
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244. We won.
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245. And not
a single injury.
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246. Ow, my foot!
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247. Ow, my neck!
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248. Oh, my head.
Oh, my head.
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249. Oh, I think I have
a bone spur.
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250. Oh, leg cramp.
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251. My kidneys are on fire.
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252. Hi, Mr. Neutron.
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253. We're here.
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254. Are you ready for us?
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255. Sleeping bags?
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256. Toothbrushes?
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257. You're moving in!
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258. Oh, no!
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259. Two more mouths to feed,
braces, college.
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260. Honey!
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261. Calm down, Hugh.
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262. They're just here
for Jimmy's sleepover.
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263. Oh, well, that's
not nearly as bad.
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264. Oh, I remember
my first sleepover—
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265. the games and
the practical jokes,
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266. the crying for my mommy.
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267. Hugh, that was
our honeymoon.
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268. Yeah, I know.
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269. Gentlemen, welcome
to what I expect to be
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270. the greatest sleepover
in history.
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271. Yeah!
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272. I baked galactic
marshmallow balls
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273. from the Ultra Lord
Recipe Book.
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274. And I brought a video
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275. of Larry
the Lovesick Llama.
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276. You know,
I think I have something
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277. you guys'll enjoy even more.
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278. Behold the Slumbertron 9000,
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279. designed to throw
the ultimate sleepover party.
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280. It provides the world's
greatest made-to-order pizza,
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281. tells superscary stories,
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282. and supplies the perfect pillows
for ultimate pillow fights.
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283. Turn it on, turn it on.
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284. Pizza, pillows, scary stories!
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285. Hey, hey— easy, Sheen.
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286. One thing at a time.
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287. This is the Slumbertron's
maiden voyage.
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288. I suggest we begin
with the pillow fight.
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289. These are perfect.
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290. Yeah, totally state-of-the-art.
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291. Time to take out the trash!
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292. Two, three,
touch my knee.
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293. Hugh, tell the boys
to quiet down.
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294. No, Sugar Booger,
let them have their fun.
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295. Eight, nine, bend my spine.
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296. That's what I'm talking about.
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297. I'm tired.
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298. I'm hungry.
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299. How about some pizza?
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300. You read my stomach.
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301. I want pepperoni and garlic
and onions and anchovies...
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302. And peanut butter
and clams and hot fudge.
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303. Don't knock it till you try it.
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304. Okay, okay, one ultimate
pizza coming up.
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305. Gentlemen,
let the gorging begin!
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306. Oh, stomach full, room spinning.
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307. I will eat no more...
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308. forever.
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309. Mom sent me down
to tell you boys it's time to...
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310. Give me a piece of pizza.
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311. Ooh-hoo, fudge anchovy,
my favorite.
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312. Mmm... carry on with...
your crazy... sleepover thing.
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313. I believe the time has come
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314. for scary stories.
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315. Okay, but, um...
not too scary, Jimmy,
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316. because remember
what happened
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317. the last time when
I got too scared.
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318. Did you bring
your rubber sleeping bag?
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319. Yes.
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320. Then what's the problem?
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321. Make it scream-your-
head-off scary.
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322. One scream-your-head-off
scary story coming up.
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323. It's just a story,
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324. it's just a story,
it's just a story.
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325. Good evening.
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326. I am Dr. Dark,
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327. teller of terrible tales.
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328. Hold up.
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329. Do you mean terrible
like lousy,
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330. or terrible
like scary?
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331. Scary!
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332. Got it.
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333. Once there was a monster
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334. who only appeared
at night at sleepovers
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335. and he was called
the Sleepover Monster.
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336. He only came out at night
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337. because the sun
was his mortal enemy.
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338. And he liked to eat children—
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339. boy children,
just about your age.
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340. Uh... m-m-maybe it'd be better
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341. if we listened to
the story in the morning?
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342. Yeah— not that I'm scared.
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343. I just don't want to wear out
Jimmy's new machine.
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344. Turn it off, turn it off,
turn it off!
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345. Good night, guys.
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346. Good night,
Jimmy.
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347. This is the best
sleepover ever.
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348. Wait a minute.
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349. Who said anything
about going to sleep?
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350. What are we, a bunch of babies?
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351. Come on, I'm going
to stay up all night.
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352. Party! Party! Par...
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353. Somebody's hungry.
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354. Hey, Jim,
how about some more pizza?
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355. Jimmy?
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356. Jimmy!
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357. Uh, I bet I could make
one of those pizzas.
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358. I want pizza.
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359. Love, Carl.
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360. Hmm.
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361. Maybe if I just push everything.
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362. Jimmy! Jimmy!
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363. Uh, breakfast time?
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364. Carl, what did you do?
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365. I don't know.
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366. My tummy woke me up—
it was hungry.
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367. I pressed all the buttons
and... and...
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368. Bad tummy, bad tummy!
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369. Hey, I made a giant pizza.
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370. Let's eat.
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371. The Slumbertron
must have combined
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372. the pizza
and scary story programs
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373. to create...
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374. a pizza monster!
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375. I can't delete the pizza.
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376. The screen's frozen.
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377. Time for
my dinner!
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378. We're being chased
by a monster!
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379. Tell those boys
to go to sleep now.
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380. Oh, Booger Sugar,
they're just playing
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381. Help, I'm Being Chased
by a Monster.
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382. Well, my tasty
morsels,
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383. the tables are turned.
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384. Now it looks like I get
to eat you!
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385. Let's split up.
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386. Whoever the pizza monster isn't
chasing can go for help.
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387. One, two, three!
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388. Go!
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389. Mmm.
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390. Hugh Neutron.
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391. Go downstairs
this instant
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392. and tell those boys
to settle down.
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393. Okay, sure, fine...
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394. Hate to be a party pooper, boys,
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395. but can you keep it down?
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396. Help!
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397. Thank you.
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398. What's going on out there?
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399. Oh, nothing.
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400. The boys are just
being chased
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401. by giant slices
of flying pizza.
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402. Hugh,
do something.
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403. Nice pillows.
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404. Now, stay— stay!
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405. Don't do anything evil.
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406. Help!
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407. All right,
this is it, guys.
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408. A pleasure knowing you.
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409. Think, think, think.
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410. Brain blast!
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411. Hey, hey— remember the story?
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412. The sun is the monster's
mortal enemy.
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413. Good, Jimmy.
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414. Go get the sun.
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415. Gas planet!
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416. Sunrise is still
eight minutes away.
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417. Maybe I can make the monster
think the sun is coming up.
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418. Carl, I need your glasses.
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419. Okay.
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420. We can't just stand here
doing nothing, Carl.
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421. We've got
to help Jimmy.
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422. Good morning,
Retroville.
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423. It's 6:00 a.m., 72 degrees.
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424. We got a beautiful
sunrise out.
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425. We've also got
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426. a jackknifed tractor
trailer on the 101.
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427. Marshmallows everywhere.
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428. Mission accomplished.
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429. If only he'd used
his anchovies for good
instead of evil.
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430. I'm starving.
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431. Let's eat.
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432. Fools!
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433. Haven't you ever
heard of sequels?
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434. It was only a nightmare.
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435. An anchovy-, clam-, and peanut
butter-induced nightmare.
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436. Whew, that was a doozy.
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437. Help!
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438. Help, help!
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439. Help!
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440. Bad dream, bad dream!
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441. Whew.
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442. I guess it was all just a dream.
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443. Hey, Carl, I...
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444. Honey, oh,
what is it?
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445. Oh, I had the most
horrible dream.
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446. There were three
terrible children—
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447. a tubby one, a manic one,
and one with a giant head.
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448. I told you, dear,
there's no such thing
as children.
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449. Now, go back to sleep.
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450. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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451. and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
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