1. Neat.
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2. Sweet.
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3. Petite.
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4. Thank you, Thing.
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5. Not bad for a beginner.
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6. Look who my teacher is.
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7. That's true!
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8. But remember in
the future, my dear,
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9. follow through! Follow through!
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10. Mother, can we go out and play?
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11. In this weather?
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12. With all that blue
sky and sunshine?
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13. We've been in for two weeks now.
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14. And there's nothing left to do.
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15. I know just the thing!
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16. How would you children
like to come down to the moat
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17. and watch me wrestle
with the alligator?
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18. In the quicksand.
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19. In the quicksand?
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20. Oh, goody!
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21. Oh, yes! I see what
I've been doing wrong.
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22. Oh, thank you, Thing.
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23. Gomez. Yes, my dear.
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24. I'm concerned
about the children.
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25. I know!
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26. But every silver
lining has its cloud.
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27. And with all of us cooped up
here on account of the elements,
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28. it's bound to get a bit sticky.
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29. Oh, no, darling. That
isn't exactly what I meant.
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30. You know, I thought Uncle
Fester was spoiling them,
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31. but Mama is even worse.
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32. She lets them sit on
her back in the morning
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33. when she does her pushups,
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34. she's told them where
I keep the yak fudge,
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35. and I know she's letting
Pugsley sleep with his tarantula.
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36. I'm going to speak to her!
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37. But gently, Morticia, gently.
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38. Of course.
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39. I threw him in 12 seconds flat.
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40. And she's gonna do
it again this afternoon.
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41. With one hand tied.
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42. Mama, that's the
fourth time this week.
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43. Don't worry. I'm in good shape.
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44. I'm gonna work out
again on my trampoline.
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45. It's the children we're
concerned about, Mama.
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46. You probably don't realize it,
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47. but you're being
much too indulgent.
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48. Besides, you're wearing
out the poor alligator.
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49. And you're shedding
crocodile tears.
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50. Pish tosh!
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51. And I think she means it.
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52. Oh, blue skies again!
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53. Oh, those dreadful petals
getting larger and larger,
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54. and my poor thorns
just wilting away.
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55. Great game, polo!
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56. I may donate a field
to the orphanage.
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57. On your way, Kelso.
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58. Good shot, darling.
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59. The door.
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60. Sounds like a wild beast.
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61. Optimist! Whoa!
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62. Gomez, is it really you?
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63. Maybe not. I haven't
been myself lately.
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64. Morticia!
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65. Thank you. Am I really home?
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66. Doesn't it look like it, dear?
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67. I don't know.
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68. Those blue skies,
all that sunshine.
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69. It's done something to my mind.
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70. I thought I was home
twice already this afternoon.
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71. Both times it turned
out to be a mirage.
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72. Whee!
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73. Thank goodness.
This time it's real.
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74. Mama just can't seem
to stay on that trampoline.
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75. Uncle Fester, what ever possessed
you to go out on a day like this?
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76. I had no choice.
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77. There wasn't a single
stick left in the whole house.
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78. And you know they
don't deliver on weekends.
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79. Couldn't it have
waited till Monday?
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80. What? Wait three whole
days without an explosion?
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81. How are you going to
explain that to a child?
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82. Uncle Fester, don't you think
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83. you've been indulging
them a bit too much?
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84. Fester, my parents were rich,
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85. but when I was a boy,
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86. I sold newspapers,
collected bottles,
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87. scrimped and saved my kopeks,
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88. so that I could buy one
single stick of 40% nitro.
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89. Now, that's how
you build character.
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90. But it makes them so happy.
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91. Uncle Fester, a happy child
is merely an unhappy child
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92. who's having fun.
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93. For their sakes, I'll take
care of this for a while.
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94. But that's my dynamite.
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95. I paid for it with
my blood, sweat,
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96. and my alligator egg money.
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97. Uncle Fester, please
try and understand.
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98. We don't want you and
Mama spoiling the children.
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99. Well, I don't call the bare
necessities of life spoiling them.
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100. All right.
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101. I'll be up in my closet sulking.
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102. Kind of dark in there.
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103. I don't think we were
unreasonable. Do you?
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104. Oh, of course not, darling.
You know he loves to pout.
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105. It keeps his battery charged.
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106. You rang?
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107. Yes, Lurch. Would
you... Darling.
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108. Where should we store
Uncle Fester's dynamite?
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109. That little shelf right above
the furnace should be perfect.
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110. As for the weather,
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111. this part of the country
will remain unchanged.
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112. Fair. Clear.
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113. Sunny. Maddening!
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114. Meanwhile, the Gulf Coast
states are bracing themselves
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115. for the arrival of
hurricane Zsa Zsa.
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116. Hurricane Zsa Zsa.
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117. Oh, Gomez. It makes me go all
tingly all over just to think about it.
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118. If we hurry, we can
drive down and catch it.
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119. Divine.
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120. Oh, no. It isn't.
Darling, we can't go.
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121. The children are in school.
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122. And we couldn't leave them
with Uncle Fester and Mama.
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123. It would be such an imposition.
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124. True.
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125. We won't have to. I'll
engage a governess.
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126. Querida,
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127. you're always at
your best in a crisis.
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128. You're so inspiring.
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129. That's what they said
about Old Ebenezer Addams.
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130. When he led the early
settlers across the great plains?
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131. When he sold the first
guns to the Indians.
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132. He really was a pioneer.
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133. I'm going to engage a governess.
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134. This is Mrs. Addams,
over on Cemetery Ridge.
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135. I'd like to engage a
governess for a week or two.
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136. Oh? Just a moment.
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137. They have a Miss Thudd.
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138. She speaks Choctaw like a native
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139. and holds a white
hunter's license.
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140. Sounds like a gem.
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141. Miss Thudd will be acceptable.
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142. A hundred dollars?
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143. Sounds like a steal.
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144. A hundred dollars
seems a bit high.
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145. After all, we do have a butler to take
care of the alligator in the basement.
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146. Yes. Alligator.
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147. All she'd have to do is
supervise the children
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148. and a few African stranglers.
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149. She'd see that their
food is well cooked
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150. and that they brush
after every meal.
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151. No, not the children,
the stranglers.
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152. Two hundred dollars?
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153. Very well, we'll take it.
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154. I kept her from going to three.
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155. That's what I
call horse trading.
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156. Zsa Zsa, here we come.
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157. One thing about traveling light,
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158. it doesn't take
you long to pack.
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159. Tish.
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160. You sentimental little dickens.
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161. I wore it at our
first hurricane.
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162. They'll be gone a whole week.
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163. It shows that they
really do count on us.
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164. I fixed them a
snack for the road.
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165. You better take it to
them before it stiffens.
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166. That's beautiful.
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167. You know what?
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168. I like it the way they
trust us with the children.
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169. It gets me right here.
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170. Oh?
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171. Oh?
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172. Oh.
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173. Well, thank you
very much for calling.
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174. Gomez.
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175. The governess can't
be here until tomorrow.
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176. Oh, well.
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177. We'll just have to miss
the first day of the big blow.
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178. If you've seen them sandbag
one lobby, you've seen them all.
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179. I don't like the
sound of that cough.
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180. And we don't like the sound
of what Lurch just told us.
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181. Yeah, the truth is finally out.
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182. You don't trust us
with the children.
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183. You think we're too feeble
and too old and too unreliable.
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184. And too shiftless and too
low-down and too uncouth and...
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185. Fester!
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186. I was carried away.
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187. Oh, my dears, we simply didn't want
to burden you with the responsibility.
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188. See? You heard it
from her own lips.
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189. We're not responsible.
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190. Don't be foolish.
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191. Now we're foolish,
too. Let's clear out.
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192. All right, we're gonna go pack
up our money and my light bulb.
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193. Gomez, darling, stop them.
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194. Don't worry, my dear. They're
obviously bluffing about leaving.
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195. They're merely children,
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196. and from time to time, need
mature, sensible guidance.
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197. We're not helpless. Imagine
a governess in our house.
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198. Fester! You know the
combination of that safe.
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199. How many times
do I have to tell you?
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200. It's so much more
fun cracking it.
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201. My. The things that
come out of a nest egg!
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202. That little fellow
must be hungry.
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203. Fester, I just remembered.
There's no money in there.
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204. Something better than money.
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205. The great Star of the East.
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206. Oh, yes! The sacred ruby
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207. that Great-Grandfather Blob pried
from the head of the Hindu idol.
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208. Not pried from the
head of a Hindu idol,
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209. pried from the head of a Hindu.
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210. It was giving him a terrible
headache, and he was so relieved,
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211. he gave Great-Grandpapa
a present of the ruby.
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212. Gone.
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213. Burglars? Couldn't be.
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214. Why would they take just that
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215. and leave the rest
of these valuables?
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216. Let me take a peek.
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217. Remember?
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218. Oh, yeah!
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219. That cat that
yowled half the night.
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220. Well, it was the only
rock in the house.
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221. That's that.
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222. Now we gotta stay home.
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223. We'll do the next best thing.
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224. Now, they'll stay
on their side and,
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225. since we're not needed,
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226. we'll stay over here.
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227. One thing, this whole business
is so outlandish, it can't last.
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228. We'll keep it just
this way from now on.
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229. I should have thought
of this 20 years ago.
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230. Well, we might
as well have lunch.
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231. You rang?
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232. Hey, here's a hot one.
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233. Good-as-new rickshaw,
never been on a freeway,
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234. only $98.
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235. See Slippery Sam,
the honest Chinaman.
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236. I'd have to see that first.
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237. We got gypped the last time.
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238. Yeah.
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239. Oh, Lurch. Ask Mr. Addams if I
can see the sports page please.
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240. And if Mrs. Addams
doesn't mind, I'd like fashions.
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241. Sports page.
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242. See if you can get the want ads.
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243. That rickshaw
sounds like a steal.
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244. Lurch, I'd like theater and
arts when Mama is through.
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245. I heard him. I did, too.
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246. Thank you, Lurch.
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247. Thank you.
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248. By george! Here's
an interesting want ad.
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249. The ladies skirts will
be longer this year.
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250. Lurch, you gave
me the sports page.
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251. And I've got finance.
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252. Yeah, and I'm
stuck with the news.
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253. I got finance again.
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254. He gave me the society page.
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255. Schwarzkopf pitches no-hitter!
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256. Not bad for a rickshaw boy.
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257. Am I back to sports again?
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258. Appears to be. I'm in want ads.
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259. Lurch, you gave me real estate.
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260. And I certainly don't
need beauty hints.
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261. Oh, that must be
the new governess.
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262. Better answer the door, Lurch.
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263. I am the new governess.
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264. Follow me.
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265. That throat needs tending.
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266. Definitely!
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267. Wait here.
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268. Ah, Miss Thudd.
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269. Just call me Thudd.
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270. We hope you'll
like it here, Thudd.
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271. I like the house.
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272. It is nice and homey, isn't it?
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273. Cheerful, too.
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274. I think it would
be even cheerier
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275. if we put up a few
more family pictures.
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276. Oh, darling, it would
be too much with that.
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277. Oh, of course.
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278. Cousin Nanook's family.
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279. Won't you sit down?
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280. I prefer to stand.
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281. Ah, children.
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282. This is Wednesday and
Pugsley, our children.
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283. Darlings, this is your
new governess, Thudd.
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284. My guillotine's busted.
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285. "Broken," not "busted."
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286. Well, either way, we
can't make it work.
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287. You must think positively.
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288. Keep repeating
firmly to yourself,
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289. "My guillotine will work.
My guillotine will work.
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290. "My guillotine will work."
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291. I like her attitude.
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292. She's our kind of people.
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293. Well, you're in
complete charge, Thudd.
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294. Follow me.
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295. Run along, children. Have fun!
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296. Did you ever see happier
expressions on children's faces?
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297. Thudd does have winning ways.
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298. We refuse to remain under
the same roof with her.
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299. Right. We're leaving.
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300. But you haven't any money.
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301. We have something
better than money.
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302. We have the old
Addams ingenuity.
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303. I can get a job as carhop.
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304. Or, better still,
an airline hostess.
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305. And I can always go back
to testing skateboards or...
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306. I may take a whack
at brain surgery.
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307. Come, Mama, the
world is waiting.
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308. They may be naive and misguided
but, by Jove, they're glorious.
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309. You rang?
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310. Yes, Lurch, please put
our luggage in the car.
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311. Every now and then,
there's a bear gets in here.
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312. Mean devil.
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313. Well, who knows? We may
have an indoor hurricane.
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314. Oh, Gomez, it's exactly
as I remembered it.
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315. Divine.
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316. You're the first
customers we've had here
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317. since you was
here two years ago.
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318. Gomez, darling. Look!
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319. So, that's where you left it.
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320. I'm coming to think there's
something's wrong with this place.
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321. Maybe the location.
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322. Nonsense. The location is ideal.
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323. Why, the vinegar
works are over there,
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324. glue factory is
right behind you.
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325. Gomez, darling. That thunder
is like music to my ears.
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326. Folks, we're
trying a new policy.
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327. Free Continental breakfast.
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328. Obviously catering
to the jet set.
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329. Nope, we got to use up the eggs.
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330. A flock of hens been
nesting in number six.
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331. Here's your key.
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332. Oh, one other little thing.
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333. Watch out for the
badger trap under the bed.
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334. What a divine touch.
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335. Stick with me, Tish.
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336. First class, all the way.
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337. Morticia!
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338. You, a night, and a swamp.
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339. Gomez, darling.
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340. Why don't we get into
something more comfortable?
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341. Capital suggestion!
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342. Fair warning, querida.
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343. I'm coming out with that new
cologne, Deadwood number five.
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344. Gomez.
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345. Gomez, come here, quick.
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346. Quickly. Quickly!
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347. Hurry! Hurry, Gomez!
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348. Oh, no, no, no, darling.
The suitcase. Look.
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349. Thudd's! Lurch obviously
gave me this one by mistake.
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350. Certainly looks that way.
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351. Vitamins?
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352. This Thudd seems
more like a dud.
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353. Look at this.
Mother Goose, and...
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354. Sugar plums.
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355. Oatmeal cookies,
lollypops... An apple.
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356. That women's a fraud.
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357. Well, she can't be all bad.
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358. Really? Reading Dr. Spock?
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359. Oh, I thought it was Dr. Spook.
Copy !req
360. Gomez, how could
we have been taken in
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361. by a pretty face
and a little charm.
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362. We must go back.
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363. Let's hope we're not too late.
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364. Lurch! Lurch, open up.
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365. Oh, dear.
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366. Lurch, is everything all right?
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367. Wednesday? Pugsley?
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368. Children?
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369. Pugsley? Wednesday?
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370. Lurch, what happened?
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371. Oh, dear!
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372. Gomez.
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373. Gomez, I'm afraid
we're too late.
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374. Better let me
check first, my dear.
Copy !req
375. So... The honeymooners are back.
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376. Did you enjoy your hurricane?
Copy !req
377. Fester, Mama. What
are you doing here?
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378. Our duty.
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379. Unlike some people I know.
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380. We couldn't leave the children
in the hands of that fiend.
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381. So, we swallowed our pride,
came back and fired her.
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382. I think she's on her way
to join the Peace Corps.
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383. Thank goodness!
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384. Well, since we are
not needed here,
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385. I can just about make the swing
shift at the skateboard factory.
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386. I have to get back
to the drive-in.
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387. Uncle Fester, Mama, please stay.
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388. We love you and
the children need you.
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389. Besides, the old place wouldn't
be the same without you.
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390. Well, I'll stay, but
on one condition.
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391. The sky's the limit.
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392. I'm a grown man.
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393. And a fine, intelligent one.
Copy !req
394. I can't be treated like a child.
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395. No grown man should
be treated like a child.
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396. So, I want my dynamite back.
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397. That's a deal.
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398. Goody.
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399. For a moment there, I thought he
was gonna ask for something silly.
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400. Something silly? Uncle Fester?
Copy !req
401. Oh, it's such a comfort to know that
the children are back in good hands.
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402. Cara. Darling.
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403. Good shot, Thing.
Good shot, Thing.
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404. It's wonderful having everybody
back together again, isn't it?
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405. Yes, but I am a little sorry
about missing hurricane Zsa Zsa.
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406. Zsa Zsa!
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407. Everybody outside.
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408. You and I can
go up to the attic.
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409. The attic?
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410. I know how sentimental you
are about the Last Chance Motel.
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411. I tore a big hole in the roof.
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412. Darling...
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