1. Neat.
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2. Sweet.
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3. Petite.
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4. Oh, darling, are you
sure I'm ready for this?
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5. Querida, I've taught you all
my mastery of the bullwhip.
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6. Surely, flicking the ash off a
cigar should be child's play.
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7. Very well, darling,
if you say so.
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8. Where's Mama? I
want her to see this.
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9. Did somebody call me?
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10. Mama, why the suit of armor?
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11. No offense, Morticia, but I
feel more secure wearing this
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12. ever since Gomez told me that a bullwhip
can slice a man's head off like that!
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13. Oh, I'm sure he was
exaggerating, but suit yourself.
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14. Are you ready, Gomez?
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15. Ready, my dear. Remember,
aim, close your eyes and fire away.
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16. Mama, speak to me.
Can you hear me?
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17. Certainly. There's
no need to shout.
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18. Lucky thing I
remembered to duck.
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19. Mail's in.
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20. I do believe Thing is
trying to tell us something.
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21. Of course, it's a letter
from Spain. Gracias, Thing.
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22. Oh, darling, it's for you.
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23. You open it, my
dear. Maybe it's a bill.
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24. Oh, you're so thoughtful.
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25. I better give this a rub
down before it stiffens up.
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26. That's interesting,
it's from Pamplona.
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27. Pamplona? I knew it.
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28. Don Xavier Francisco
de la Mancha Molinas.
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29. Who are they?
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30. They? Him.
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31. Oh.
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32. Back in the old country, our families
were as close as Siamese twins.
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33. How cozy.
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34. Oh, well, he says he's arriving here all
the way from Spain tomorrow morning.
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35. Tomorrow morning. Oh,
good heavens! Gomez!
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36. Shh. Wait, why don't
we surprise Gomez?
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37. You little imp.
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38. That's what everyone
called me in my sorority.
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39. Oh, it says here that he's coming
for his daughter Consuella's wedding.
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40. Weddings are such fun.
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41. Yes, especially
when everyone cries.
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42. Gomez! You big boy now.
Last time I see you, you so little.
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43. I'm Lurch. A church?
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44. Lurch. Oh, Lurch.
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45. The butler.
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46. I see. I Don Xavier Francisco
de la Mancha Molinas.
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47. Follow me.
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48. Oh, Consuella, I am so happy we
have wait for you to marry Gomez.
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49. Eh?
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50. It is your wish even though I
do not know Senor Addams.
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51. Only Senor Gomez Addams is
good enough for marry Molinas.
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52. That is why his grandpapa
and I signed marriage contract
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53. when you are little girl.
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54. Don Xavier! Gomez!
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55. Oh, this must be Consuella.
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56. My, what a big girl you are!
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57. Gomez, that is the duena.
How do you say? The chaperone.
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58. This is my Consuella.
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59. But of course.
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60. I haven't seen you
since I was five,
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61. but I remember how
we used to play casa.
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62. This is Morticia. Morticia,
this is Don Xavier Molinas,
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63. duena and Consuella.
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64. How you do?
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65. How do you do?
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66. Querida, this is my hermana.
My sister, you might say.
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67. What did he say?
He say she his sister.
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68. Oh, his sister! Si.
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69. Did you ever think I'd marry
such a beautiful woman?
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70. Oh, Senor. Oh, but
I knew you would.
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71. And you have waste no time.
This must be the padre, no?
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72. Padre, no. That's Uncle Fester.
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73. He went south
with his polo team.
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74. And they're winning, too.
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75. Oh, Don Xavier, Consuella, la
duena. You remember Mama?
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76. I'll see about
your rooms, ladies.
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77. You rang?
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78. Yes, Lurch, would you
please help with the luggage?
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79. Yes, Mrs. Addams.
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80. That's the day you fought
two bulls, back to back.
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81. But it was nothing, I...
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82. Thank you, Thing.
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83. In America, the
servants are cheap.
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84. To the Molinas. Eh?
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85. To you and your lovely
daughter, Consuella.
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86. Oh, to you and
your sister, Morticia.
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87. No, Don Xavier, Morticia's
not my sister, she's my wife.
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88. Life? Oh, si. You
lead a wonderful life.
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89. Consuella will be happy
with such a man. Thank you.
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90. I hope she finds one.
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91. Has Gomez changed much
since he was a little boy?
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92. Oh, he so little, me so little.
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93. Only remember we play casa.
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94. You played what? Casa. House.
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95. Oh?
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96. Now Gomez and I get
married, you and I real sister.
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97. What's she mean by that?
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98. Well, I'm sure she means... In
Spain, Gomez is a very common name.
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99. She probably means she's going
to marry someone by that name.
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100. No, me marry Gomez, you brother.
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101. My brother? Si.
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102. Who? He.
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103. My Gomez? My Gomez.
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104. You know, Don Xavier, I
have a vast network of offices
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105. all over the world.
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106. My girl in Madrid did
nothing but try to locate you.
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107. And then there's my girl in Barcelona,
and of course my girl in Toledo
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108. and then I have
two girls in Sevilla
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109. and then there's good
old Sadie in Lisbon.
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110. Do you hear what I hear?
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111. Shh. I'm counting.
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112. So many girls. Can
you not get rid of a few?
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113. I'd be lost without them.
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114. The wife is always the
last to know. Oh, dear.
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115. Now, about the dowry...
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116. The hand of Consuella should
be enough for the lucky groom.
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117. Uh-uh. It is a matter of honor.
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118. I do not have dollars, but
perhaps you will hold this for me.
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119. "I owe you one million pesetas."
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120. Well, let's see, that's, uh...
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121. Thank you, Thing.
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122. One million pesetas
is 16,600 potatoes.
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123. Oh, I'd better keep this in a safe
place. You will accept it, then?
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124. I shall guard it with my life.
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125. Wife? Life.
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126. Let me show you Morticia's
beautiful African strangler.
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127. That Bluebeard. He
should be boiled in oil.
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128. No, he enjoys that too much.
Besides, we must think of the children.
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129. Why don't you think of
yourself? Oh, it's too late for me.
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130. But we can still save Consuella.
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131. She can't be just
another cipher,
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132. another number in his harem.
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133. My son with a harem.
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134. I didn't know he had it in him.
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135. Cousin Itt? It's me, Morticia.
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136. Good afternoon.
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137. Cousin Itt, I'm in such
a terrible dilemma.
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138. Gomez is being untrue, but I
don't want to get him into trouble.
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139. What should I do?
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140. Have my head examined?
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141. But I still love him and he
wants to marry Consuella.
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142. Have his head examined?
You may have something, there.
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143. There must be
something wrong with him.
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144. He has girls all over the world.
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145. I'm sure he could
get one for you,
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146. but that doesn't
solve my problem.
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147. I'm sure it would solve yours.
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148. Oh, Cousin Itt, I thought you
were going to be so helpful.
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149. Haven't you ever been in love?
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150. What was she like?
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151. A tall, beautiful blonde?
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152. And brunette?
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153. Well, that's silly
of you to break up.
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154. Some of my best
friends have two heads.
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155. What shall I do about Gomez?
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156. Oh.
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157. Excellent idea. I'll
scare him. How?
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158. No, Cousin Itt, I think this
calls for a bit more subtlety.
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159. No. No, nothing physical.
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160. It should be psychological.
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161. That's it! I'll use psychology.
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162. Thank you, Cousin
Itt and... To you.
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163. By george, there's nothing like a
pogo stick for getting around the house.
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164. I think I'll get one for Mama.
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165. Mama prefers a skateboard.
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166. Mama and her dignity.
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167. Gomez, do you know what
the penalty is for bigamy?
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168. Of course, two wives.
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169. That's an old joke.
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170. That's an old law book.
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171. I swapped with Mama for
my pogo stick. How nice.
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172. The family that swaps
together, hops together.
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173. Shakespeare? Uncle Fester.
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174. Oh, good old Fester.
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175. He'd be quite a philosopher if
he weren't such a bubblehead.
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176. How do you like my painting?
Querida, it's marvelous.
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177. What is it?
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178. Ah, interesting. Do
you recognize the face?
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179. I'd recognize that face with
my eyes shut. Cousin Crimp.
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180. Gomez, it's you.
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181. By george, there
is a resemblance.
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182. Doesn't it send
chills up your spine?
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183. Gives me goose bumps. I've
got the perfect name for it, too.
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184. What? Joy.
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185. I think that this is more practical.
Egad, that's disturbing news.
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186. It is? Certainly is.
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187. "Weatherman predicts
sunny skies for entire week."
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188. Don't you notice anything else?
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189. How can I miss? Stock
market's down four points.
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190. You didn't see anything about a
jealous wife shooting her husband?
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191. I never read the sports page.
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192. It's right there.
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193. Oh, yes. "Jealous wife
shoots husband." Very messy.
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194. Yes, isn't it?
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195. Poison is so much
easier on the carpets.
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196. She's probably a very
sloppy housekeeper.
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197. And a spoilsport.
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198. As the man voted by my law class
as most likely never to pass the bar,
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199. I predict that this woman will soon
learn she can't go around shooting people,
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200. not without a permit.
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201. Oh, it's no use, Cousin Itt.
Psychology didn't work at all.
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202. No, no, definitely no shooting.
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203. Why? Because I have no permit.
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204. No, no, that would
absolutely ruin the carpets.
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205. No, poison doesn't
agree with him.
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206. Pin a medal on
him? Certainly not.
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207. I know. I can't help it.
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208. I am a soft-hearted...
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209. Oh, thank you, Thing.
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210. Thing, I'm going to take definite
action. I'm going to put a stop to this,
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211. no matter what the
consequences to Gomez.
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212. I can't. I love him too much.
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213. Did you know that Cousin
Itt said that I was a...
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214. I'm a double...
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215. Et tu, Thing?
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216. Oh, that must be Senor
Cardona, the flamenco dancer.
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217. I thought a little entertainment
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218. would make our
guests feel at home.
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219. Who knows? This
may become their home.
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220. Don't worry, my dear, I have
a way of getting rid of people
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221. who begin to pall on me.
That's what I'm afraid of.
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222. Senor Cardona.
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223. Ah, senor Cardona.
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224. Senor, we have a
wonderful surprise for you.
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225. I shall accompany
you on the guitar.
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226. How kind.
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227. Thank you, Thing.
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228. Ah, much better.
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229. I hear guitar.
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230. Oh, Consuella, darling, come in.
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231. Uh, Consuella Molinas,
this is Senor Cardona.
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232. What a beautiful thing.
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233. It's just a little something
I composed myself.
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234. I mean the guitar. May I?
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235. Oh. Do you play?
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236. Well, not so good like
Senor Gomez, but I try.
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237. Exquisite. Not
bad for a beginner.
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238. You play, I stay.
She no play, I no stay.
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239. She play, you stay.
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240. Okay? Ole!
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241. Excuse me, Querida.
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242. Wine, please.
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243. Thank you, Thing.
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244. Nothing like instant wine.
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245. Lovely evening,
cara mia. Lovely.
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246. To love.
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247. A bit sweet. Think I'll
switch to champagne.
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248. I must be alone with you.
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249. No, no, I am promised to Gomez.
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250. My padre kill me, kill
you, kill everybody.
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251. You know, I think I better announce the
betrothal of Gomez and Consuella tonight,
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252. right away. Excuse me.
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253. You're very handy.
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254. Morticia, Don Xavier is about to
announce Gomez' engagement.
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255. Gomez will be forced to deny it
and then Don Xavier will kill him.
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256. Oh, we can't let that happen.
Gomez is much too young to die.
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257. He looks a lot
younger than he is.
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258. Amigos, attention.
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259. I would like to make a
toast to my future son-in-law.
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260. I'll drink to that.
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261. My future son-in-law...
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262. Uh, but first a toast to
our friends from Spain.
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263. I'll drink to that. You
are most gracious.
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264. But I would like to make
a toast to... To Consuella,
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265. a lovely flower
blooming in her prime.
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266. I'll drink to that.
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267. Por favor, I want to drink to...
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268. A toast to Don Xavier
Francisco de la Mancha Molinas.
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269. A real cutie pie.
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270. I'll drink to that.
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271. Senor, you are most
kind, but what about...
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272. I'd like to propose a toast...
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273. To my future son-in-law,
Gomez Addams.
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274. I'll drink to that.
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275. A little joke. It is no joke.
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276. No joke? You are engaged
since you were five.
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277. You proposed when
you were five years old?
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278. I must have been a wild one.
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279. No propose. Marriage contract signed
in blood by Addams grandpapa and me.
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280. But I'm already
married to Morticia.
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281. You are married to
your sister? Sister?
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282. Si. Who?
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283. He. Me?
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284. I am not his sister.
We're husband and wife.
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285. Husband and wife?
You make insult.
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286. Who? He.
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287. Me? Si.
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288. Gee.
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289. Pistols at ten paces.
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290. But, Don Xavier, you're
the best shot in all of Spain.
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291. Huh?
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292. You're the best
shot in all of Spain.
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293. That's why I do not say swords.
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294. No. I will not have
bloodshed in this room.
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295. I guess we'll just have
to shoot around her.
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296. It's easy.
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297. I expect this kind of dishonor.
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298. Fire away.
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299. Querido mio, what
have they done to you?
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300. Oh, isn't that sweet?
They're in love.
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301. Who? He.
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302. She? Si!
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303. Don Xavier, I think you're
going to need this IOU.
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304. Not me, he.
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305. I am sorry, Don Xavier,
I do not accept IOUs.
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306. Senor, the IOU of Don Xavier
Francisco de la Mancha Molinas
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307. is as good as his
check post-dated.
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308. Now, now, now, gentlemen,
gentlemen, let's not quibble.
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309. Mr. Addams and I have decided
to give the young couple a gift
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310. in exactly the
amount of the IOU.
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311. Cardona, you'll have
my IOU in the morning.
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312. In cash, dear. Cash it is.
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313. Easy come, easy go.
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314. Senor Addams, you are
true Bluebeard. Blueblood.
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315. Who? He.
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316. Me? Si!
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317. Oh, darling, wasn't
it exciting last night?
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318. Not half as exciting
as this morning.
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319. United Cannonball is rising fast
and I neglected to buy a single share.
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320. Well, it's just as well.
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321. What would we do with all those
cannonballs around the house?
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322. Well, the children
are happy at any rate.
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323. Yes. Just listen to them
playing at their little games.
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324. Sorry, Mama, I didn't
know you were in there.
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325. You think the children perhaps
are overdoing it a bit, my dear?
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326. Nonsense, darling. After
all, you're only young once.
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327. Yes.
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