1. Neat.
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2. Sweet.
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3. Petite.
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4. Mama!
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5. I didn't know there was anyone
down here in the playroom.
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6. I just came
down here to relax.
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7. Uncle Fester!
I see you're relaxing, too.
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8. Very sensible.
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9. Something the matter
with that door.
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10. You rang?
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11. This door
wants attention, Lurch.
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12. Dear Uncle Fester,
is there anything
I can do for you?
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13. No, I'm very comfortable.
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14. This feels so good.
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15. Thank you, Lurch.
That's much better.
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16. I just love creaky doors.
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17. We both thought
we'd rest up a bit
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18. before going on
our spider hunt.
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19. That reminds me,
have you seen
little Pugsley's octopus?
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20. It's been running
all over the house.
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21. Aristotle!
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22. That animal's
just plain spoiled.
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23. I know, Mama,
but you know how children
are with their pets.
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24. That's not right, Morticia.
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25. Children need discipline.
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26. I know, Mama,
but they also need love.
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27. That's why I left
Gomez and Pugsley
alone upstairs.
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28. They need some time together.
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29. You know, father and son.
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30. Father,
could I go to the circus?
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31. What's come over you, Son?
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32. Why would a healthy
American boy wanna go
to the circus?
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33. What was that
thing you got yourself
involved with last week?
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34. The Boy Scouts?
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35. Oh, yeah. The Boy Scouts.
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36. This week it's a circus.
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37. I'm sorry, Father.
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38. Well, just this once,
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39. mainly because
he happens to be
a friend of mine.
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40. The gorilla?
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41. No, the owner of the circus,
Oscar Webber.
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42. Oh, I'd rather know Gorgo.
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43. I've got lots of
people friends,
but I don't know one gorilla.
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44. Oscar was a sword-swallower
when I first met him.
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45. "Oscar,
the Human Knife-Nibbler."
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46. That's a nice name,
but I'd still rather
know Gorgo.
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47. He'd make a wonderful pet.
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48. You're right.
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49. I'll have Lurch
get the car ready.
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50. We'll have a grand old time.
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51. We Addamses always had a way
with gorillas.
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52. You rang?
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53. The car, Lurch.
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54. I'm taking
Pugsley to the circus.
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55. Thanks, Father.
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56. Gomez?
You simply must do
something about that bell.
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57. Lurch says he
can hardly hear it.
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58. Morticia, I'm taking
Pugsley to the circus.
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59. Do you really
think you should?
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60. I mean, after all,
I'd feel a lot better
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61. if he was home
playing in his bat cave.
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62. This circus can't be so bad.
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63. It's Oscar Webber.
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64. You remember Oscar.
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65. Oscar Webber, of course.
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66. But what in the world
is he doing with a circus?
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67. He owns this one.
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68. Oh, lovely.
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69. You know, I'll never forget
the wonderful times we had
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70. when we double-dated
with him and his girl.
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71. What was her name?
That Irish girl
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72. with the pictures
all over her.
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73. Tattoo Ralloo Raloora,
the Illustrated Colleen.
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74. That's the one.
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75. I especially loved the one
that Picasso
did on her chest.
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76. Well, you two run along
and have fun.
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77. I must say it'll be
especially lonely here
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78. with the others
off on a spider hunt.
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79. I feel so guilty
running out on you, Tish.
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80. Oh, darling, don't.
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81. I'll be busy with my plants.
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82. My coniverons, bless them.
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83. They're eating like pigs.
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84. Especially since
I switched them
from pot roast to hamburger.
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85. Say, why don't you invite
some neighbors in?
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86. I would like to have
that lovely Miss Magruder.
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87. You know, the one with
the beautiful hatchet face.
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88. This is Mrs. Magruder.
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89. Mrs. Addams!
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90. The woman in
that strange house.
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91. She wants to join
the Ladies League.
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92. Heavens.
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93. Inviting us to tea.
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94. Think we should?
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95. We are on a membership drive.
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96. We'll be delighted.
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97. Oh, yes, we know the house.
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98. The one that...
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99. Well, it does look
sort of haunted.
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100. Why, thank you!
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101. And thank you, Thing.
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102. There, that wasn't
so difficult, was it?
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103. Darling, being married
to you makes me
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104. the world's most
fortunate woman.
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105. You always were so frank.
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106. Ready, Pugsley?
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107. Be right down!
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108. Just want to get some money
out of my piggy bank, Father!
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109. Whew!
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110. Ready.
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111. Ready.
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112. Oh.
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113. Look who we're
going to see, Mother.
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114. The mighty Gorgo.
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115. My, he is a handsome fellow.
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116. Yeah.
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117. Business really
looks bad for Mr. Webber.
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118. There he is!
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119. I'm going over
to find Mr. Webber.
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120. You go play with the gorilla.
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121. I just couldn't
wait to see you, Oscar.
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122. How long have you
owned the circus?
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123. I bought it three years ago.
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124. But this past season,
everything's gone wrong.
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125. The fat lady fell in love.
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126. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep.
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127. Lost 240 pounds.
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128. That could be noticeable.
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129. Then Marvin the Midget,
he got himself
on a vitamin kick.
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130. Little punk
started growing again.
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131. Oh, no.
Yeah.
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132. I went along
with it for a while.
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133. But when he hit 5'8",
I had to fire him.
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134. 5'8". Had you
thought of billing him
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135. as the world's
tallest midget?
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136. Tried that.
"The World's
Skinniest Fat Lady."
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137. But it didn't work.
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138. The only real
attraction I got left
is Gorgo the gorilla.
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139. I saw him as we came in.
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140. He's quite a fellow.
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141. Good voice.
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142. But even Gorgo
doesn't bring in
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143. the customers
like he used to.
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144. If you've seen one gorilla,
you've seen them all.
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145. What are you gonna do, Oscar?
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146. Well, I'm gonna
close down early tonight
and go to Springfield,
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147. see if I can pick up
a couple of new acts.
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148. The funniest
thing happened to me
in Springfield.
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149. Wish I could
remember what it was.
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150. My word, the afternoon
has flown, Oscar.
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151. I must be running along.
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152. It's been a lot
of fun, Gomez.
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153. Now, you promise
you'll call us
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154. the minute you come back
from Springfield.
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155. Morticia and I wanna have you
for dinner soon.
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156. We'll prepare
something special.
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157. Eye of newt.
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158. Eye of newt?
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159. Baked.
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160. Pugsley! Time to go home.
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161. Fine-looking beast,
isn't he, Son?
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162. Yeah, we're buddies.
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163. I told you, we Addamses
have always had
a way with gorillas.
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164. Bye, Gorgo.
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165. I'm so glad Pugsley
enjoyed the gorilla.
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166. Fine type.
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167. Could I hang Gorgo's
picture in my room?
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168. Well, of course
you may, darling.
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169. He has such
a fine sense of beauty.
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170. Goodnight, Mother.
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171. Goodnight, darling.
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172. Goodnight, Father.
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173. Sweet dreams.
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174. I hope they're
about gorillas.
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175. That boy,
cute as a bat's ear.
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176. Gorgo!
It's you, it's really you!
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177. You'll wake the family.
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178. I just wired
Oscar in Springfield,
told him Gorgo is with us,
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179. there's nothing
to worry about.
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180. You know,
I've been watching him
play with Pugsley.
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181. They've been racing to
the top of that tree.
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182. Pugsley's won every time.
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183. A true Addams.
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184. Of course,
the boy has an advantage.
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185. Gorgo can't hang by his teeth
like our son can.
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186. That's true.
I never thought of that.
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187. A snack for the plants.
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188. No, thank you, Lurch.
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189. They're getting much
too fat.
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190. Lurch, have you seen
our new houseguest?
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191. He's the smartest ape
I ever met.
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192. He seems to have
lovely manners.
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193. Sets a fine example
for little Pugsley.
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194. Lurch, you will show him
the usual Addams hospitality.
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195. Fine man, Lurch,
but a bit of a snob.
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196. We've been having
such fun.
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197. This is
my mother, Gorgo.
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198. He is a playful one,
isn't he?
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199. We want you to feel
quite at home here.
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200. Just happy to
be here, I guess.
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201. Pugsley, darling,
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202. try to make your
friend understand
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203. that expressions of
gratitude aren't necessary.
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204. And, by all means,
forget you were in a cage
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205. and just act like
one of the family.
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206. I'll bet you
youngsters are hungry.
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207. I'll ring for Lurch.
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208. Lurch, lunch.
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209. Perhaps a bunch of bananas.
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210. Bring two, I'm going to eat
as much as he does.
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211. Isn't he darling?
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212. Yes, as I've always said,
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213. any boy who loves cobras,
toads and apes
can't be all bad.
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214. I'm so happy.
Oh, no, I'm not.
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215. Angel.
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216. I did so want
everything to be all right
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217. when the ladies come for tea.
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218. Why shouldn't they be, sweet?
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219. Well, with Mama away,
and all my tea linens
need laundering...
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220. If only I wasn't so
busy with my plants.
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221. That is a problem.
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222. The problem is solved.
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223. Me? Laundry?
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224. Dear Lurch,
I knew you would pitch in.
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225. It's the old
Addams spirit, Lurch.
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226. Yes, sir.
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227. Now let's see,
what shall I serve?
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228. Let's think.
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229. Darling, you're always there
with the right suggestion.
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230. Excuse me.
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231. Lurch, to the harpsichord
and play.
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232. While I'm doing
the laundry?
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233. No, no, now.
It helps me to think.
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234. Ole.
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235. That's very nice,
but you're still
missing the wrinkles.
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236. Sorry.
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237. Oh, well, it's all right.
You've never worked
as a laundress before.
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238. Have you?
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239. I'll try again.
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240. Now, you mustn't be
impatient with Gorgo, Lurch.
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241. Very nice,
but you're still
missing the wrinkles.
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242. Oh, I think I'll do
the dining room curtains,
too, Lurch.
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243. I should've
bought black curtains.
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244. Black is so
much more cheerful.
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245. Isn't it amazing?
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246. Congratulations, Gorgo.
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247. Well, Lurch, there are
some things you can do
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248. and some things
an ape can do.
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249. Darling, I'm afraid
you hurt poor
Lurch's feelings.
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250. All I said to
him was, "Lurch,
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251. "there are some
things you can do
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252. "and some things
an ape can do."
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253. What could be
fairer than that?
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254. I know, dear,
but Lurch is very sensitive.
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255. Besides, I think
he's jealous of Gorgo.
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256. He probably thinks
Gorgo is after his job.
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257. That's absurd.
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258. Lurch has been
with us too long.
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259. I better explain it to him.
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260. You rang?
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261. Lurch, something been
bothering you?
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262. Perhaps you
resent our houseguest.
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263. Well, Lurch,
you shouldn't,
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264. because we feel that you're
his equal in every way.
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265. He has talent, true,
but you have
charm and personality.
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266. No question about it.
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267. Come on, let's see you
turn a little of it on.
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268. I'd like to see the woman
who could resist that.
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269. Well, we just wanted you
to know how we feel
about you.
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270. We hope the feeling's mutual.
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271. Good.
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272. That will be all, Lurch.
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273. Darling,
you handled that beautifully.
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274. Well, there's nothing
like a good
heart-to-heart talk.
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275. She's almost.
finished, Pugsley.
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276. Looks like
a real space rocket.
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277. Hello?
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278. Hello? Hello?
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279. Hello?
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280. Hello? Hello?
Is someone there?
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281. Addams residence.
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282. One moment please.
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283. Mrs. Addams.
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284. Oh, thank you, Lurch.
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285. Ready for the countdown,
Pugsley.
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286. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!
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287. Went right through
Uncle Fester's room.
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288. Too bad he's not home,
he'd have gotten
a bang out of it.
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289. That was Mrs. Magruder.
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290. She and Mrs. Page
are on their way over.
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291. In that case,
I'll take a run
over to my dentist.
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292. He's got some
wonderful new drills.
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293. But, darling,
I did want you to be here
when the ladies arrive.
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294. No, I don't.
I know the effect you have
on the opposite sex.
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295. Sometimes it frightens me.
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296. I live in constant
fear that some woman
will steal you away from me.
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297. Banish the fear, mi querida.
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298. You are the only cactus in
the garden of my life.
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299. I'm sure glad gorillas
don't act this way.
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300. I'm so delighted
you ladies could come.
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301. Our pleasure, Mrs. Addams.
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302. We'd heard so
much about your home.
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303. You certainly have some
unusual furnishings.
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304. I was afraid
the white curtains
would give it a dreary look.
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305. That's a very
unusual clock there.
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306. Oh, thank you.
It keeps perfect time.
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307. Oh, I'm afraid
it's 10 minutes slow.
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308. What strange plants!
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309. Well, they're really
not at their best.
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310. I think they need
some more hamburger.
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311. Hamburger?
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312. Their favorite food.
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313. Well, I never heard
of it as plant food.
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314. I wonder if it would be good
for my daisies.
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315. I wouldn't know.
I've never raised daisies.
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316. Won't you ladies be seated?
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317. If you'll excuse me a moment,
I'll see if the tea is ready.
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318. That's excellent.
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319. I'll ring
when I want you
to serve.
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320. I serve.
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321. Are you ready for tea?
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322. Thank you.
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323. That bell!
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324. Oh, we're having it fixed.
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325. I should think so.
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326. Oh, thank you, dear.
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327. Gorgo's so handy
around the house.
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328. And a fantastic laundress.
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329. Now, lemon, cream
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330. or saccharine?
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331. Mrs. Magruder?
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332. Gorgo!
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333. My sweet,
you mustn't be so distressed.
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334. But I did so want
to join their club.
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335. And Gorgo spoiled everything.
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336. You know,
I once read somewhere
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337. where some people
are afraid of gorillas.
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338. Nonsense.
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339. Who could possibly be
afraid of a gorilla?
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340. No, it was just that
he served so abominably,
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341. spilling the tea
out of the pot.
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342. I can imagine,
spilling the tea.
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343. I hope you didn't punish him.
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344. Oh, no,
I tried to cheer him up.
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345. I gave him some
more clothes to iron.
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346. Thoughtful of you, Tish.
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347. I'll get it.
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348. Oscar! How good to see you.
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349. I just got in town
and came right
over to pick up Gorgo.
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350. Come in, come in.
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351. Thank you.
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352. Gorgo, your master is here.
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353. He's ironing clothes?
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354. He learned it all by himself.
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355. Show him how well
you do it, Gorgo.
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356. Gorgo, the killer gorilla,
a laundress!
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357. I'm ruined, I'm ruined.
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358. Not while there's
an Addams on the scene.
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359. There must be a solution.
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360. Eureka!
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361. And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
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362. I bring you
the great attraction
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363. that you have all
been waiting to see,
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364. the attraction that
has brought thousands
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365. of people to my
circus this week.
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366. Gorgo, the world's
most domesticated gorilla.
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367. Darling, did I tell you
I spoke to Mrs. Magruder?
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368. She saw Gorgo
at the carnival.
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369. And all is forgiven?
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370. She apologized
for being so hasty
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371. when she realized
we were training
him for a friend.
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372. Gorgo.
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373. Guess he was won
over by his association
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374. with a typical
American family.
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375. Darling, you're so right.
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376. However, the next time
I serve tea to Mrs. Magruder,
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377. I'm going to do it
in the usual way.
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378. Never spills a drop.
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