1. Welcome... to "Hole In The Ring".Copy !req
2. Let's meet this week's new contestant.Copy !req
3. Hello, I'm Sally and I'm
a publisher's assistant from Warwick.Copy !req
4. Sally...Copy !req
5. Let's play "Hole In The Ring",
and your time starts now.Copy !req
6. - In which shritty... city... was Mozart born?
- Salzburg.Copy !req
7. Correct. On the periodics table, what
element is denoted by the shrymbol "Fe"?Copy !req
8. Sorry, could you repeat the question?Copy !req
9. On the periodic table which ene-ments
is denoted by "Fe"?Copy !req
10. - Iron.
- No, iron.Copy !req
11. John, who won an Oscar for his
performance in "The Pi-anist" in 2002?Copy !req
12. Er... the what?Copy !req
13. - "The Pi-anist".
- Do you mean "The Pianist"?Copy !req
14. - "Pi-anist".
- Er, Adrien Brody.Copy !req
15. - (ALARM)
- You're out of time.Copy !req
16. So, te... So, team,Copy !req
17. at the end of that round
you scored a pathetic, a gay one point,Copy !req
18. which is shit, so... you idiots.Copy !req
19. So, team, who was the git
amongst the pigeons?Copy !req
20. Who's three bob short
of a ten-queer note?Copy !req
21. Who was the turd in the hamper?Copy !req
22. Who's... thick?Copy !req
23. It's time to decide who's...
the hole in the ring.Copy !req
24. Well, swimming with a great white shark.
How does that work?Copy !req
25. Well, get in the cage,
the cage goes down in the water,Copy !req
26. and you swim with a great white shark.
It's the authentic experience.Copy !req
27. How do we know we'll find
a great white shark?Copy !req
28. 'Cause there's one in the cage.Copy !req
29. What, I'm in the cage and the shark's
in the cage? The same cage?Copy !req
30. Well, they're not native to the UK, mate.Copy !req
31. If I let the shark out the cage,
who's to say what it will do?Copy !req
32. Right, so I go in the cage.Copy !req
33. Does it mind being in the cage?Copy !req
34. Too right it does.
It hates being in the cage.Copy !req
35. Thrashing around the cage,
desperate to get out the cage,Copy !req
36. destroying anything else in the cage.Copy !req
37. Stop it, Owen.Copy !req
38. So, do you want to get in the cage?
Only 50 quidCopy !req
39. Er...Copy !req
40. - Yeah, all right.
- Really?Copy !req
41. It's all fine, isn't it? It's all proper,
you've got a sign, it's all fine.Copy !req
42. Oh, yes, it's all fine, yeah. You in the
cage, the shark in the cage... It's all fine.Copy !req
43. You basically just want
to keep out of his way a bit.Copy !req
44. - Is it a big cage?
- Er...Copy !req
45. Yeah, yeah, it is quite a big cage,
yeah. But then it is a very big shark.Copy !req
46. - Well, can you hire me some gear?
- I can sell you some gear.Copy !req
47. I can't hire it to you, and I'll tell you
for why. It might get damaged.Copy !req
48. - What by?
- Erm...Copy !req
49. Shark attack...Copy !req
50. Yeah, that kind of thing.Copy !req
51. - I mean, the shark's not gonna attack me.
- Really? Oh, that's good.Copy !req
52. - What?
- Well, I imagined it would.Copy !req
53. That massive, angry shark
cooped up in the cage.Copy !req
54. Someone else gets in the cage.
I... I thought it might lash out.Copy !req
55. You're probably right. It's probably
a lot more scared of you than you are of it.Copy !req
56. Poor thing.Copy !req
57. Right, well, you know where everything is.Copy !req
58. Once... once you get down there
it'll all be pretty straightforward.Copy !req
59. - I'll pop off for half an hour.
- Aren't you gonna watch?Copy !req
60. - I'd really rather not.
- OK.Copy !req
61. Oh, and that's a bad miss.Copy !req
62. And a bit of a first for a quarter-final
at the Crucible here,Copy !req
63. in that both Laurence Caswell and indeed
his opponent Mike Sylvester are both,Copy !req
64. with the best will in the world, queer.Copy !req
65. Well, Peter, I'm not sure
that's quite the PC term.Copy !req
66. It is, Ted, I've checked.Copy !req
67. Well, I'm gonna
call them homos to be on the safe side.Copy !req
68. And as Mike Sylvester bends over
to break off now, Ted,Copy !req
69. what do you think will be
going through his opponent's mind?Copy !req
70. I can't say that, can I?Copy !req
71. I mean, you could use
ornamental grasses like these.Copy !req
72. They're very good just for
softening your harder landscaping.Copy !req
73. Oh, that's a good idea, isn't it, Martin?Copy !req
74. Mm? Oh, yeah, yeah. Very clever.Copy !req
75. Well, we've got some nice pampas
grasses. You could put it down...Copy !req
76. Hey, I think there's some kind of a...Copy !req
77. Mm... mm... Good, good, strong.Copy !req
78. Mm...Copy !req
79. I Utapoo. You?Copy !req
80. Er... Martin. I'm Martin.Copy !req
81. - Mar-tine. Martine!
- (MAN) Martine...Copy !req
82. (ALL) Martine. Martine. Martine.Copy !req
83. Martine. You... us now.Copy !req
84. No, I can't live here.
I've got a job and a girlfriend.Copy !req
85. Ha! Many brides here.Copy !req
86. No, Martine, you live here. Take his shoes.Copy !req
87. What? No, no. I'm not gonna stay here
just 'cause you've got my shoes.Copy !req
88. Huh! Then, how you cross
great gravel pathway?Copy !req
89. Martine choose stay.Copy !req
90. You learn our ways, take bride.Copy !req
91. In three moons, you not like,
we return shoes.Copy !req
92. - So, John...
- Yeah.Copy !req
93. - So, you're a zoologist.
- Yes.Copy !req
94. Do they have much call
for getting questions wrong?Copy !req
95. - What?
- When you're... with the... at the zoologist...Copy !req
96. Do they have much call
for being bad in quizzes?Copy !req
97. I'm ever so sorry, I don't really know
what you mean.Copy !req
98. Yeah, well, you're the...
Maybe you should be in a zoo, you prick.Copy !req
99. - Right.
- You are the hole in the ring. Goodbye.Copy !req
100. That's all for today. Until tomorrow's
"Hole In The Ring", goodbye.Copy !req
101. - Good morning, John.
- Morning, Hugh.Copy !req
102. And how are you and your excellent
corner shop this fine morning?Copy !req
103. Good. Good, thanks, Hugh.Copy !req
104. Good, right. There you go.Copy !req
105. Loaf of wholemeal, "Telegraph",
and an apple.Copy !req
106. - Right, Hugh.
- Although... just thinking, John...Copy !req
107. Oh, yes. Goodness, I'm thirsty.
I-I really am.Copy !req
108. I've... I've... I've got a tremendous thirst on
all of a sudden.Copy !req
109. - Oh.
- Yes, I...Copy !req
110. I feel like I should grab
something to drink right away. Do you...Copy !req
111. - Do you recommend anything?
- We have lots of different drinks, Hugh.Copy !req
112. Yes, yes, you do.Copy !req
113. I'm so thirsty, I feel like
grabbing something right at hand.Copy !req
114. Something from this chiller here.Copy !req
115. Yes, here we go. Export Jurgenbrau.Copy !req
116. - Yes, well... Maybe I'll try one of these.
- Yes.Copy !req
117. Maybe you will.Copy !req
118. Oh, actually, now I notice this...
this is an alcoholic lager beer.Copy !req
119. Isn't it, John?Copy !req
120. Ten per cent.
Blimey, that's quite a lot, isn't it, John?Copy !req
121. Yes, it's the most alcohol per millilitre at
the lowest cost in this corner shop.Copy !req
122. Is it really? How fascinating.Copy !req
123. Well, it... it's the continental way, isn't it?Copy !req
124. In Spain, they wouldn't dream of
starting the dayCopy !req
125. without a couple of cans
and maybe a vodka...Copy !req
126. probably.Copy !req
127. So, how much is that?Copy !req
128. - $2.70, Hugh.
- Oh...Copy !req
129. Well... now... Now I... Now I... look...Copy !req
130. I don't think I can actually affordCopy !req
131. the bread, the paper,
an apple and this drink.Copy !req
132. Not quite, Hugh.Copy !req
133. Maybe I'll put all three of these items backCopy !req
134. and maybe get two cans of this...Copy !req
135. lager beer that you recommend.Copy !req
136. Just in case one doesn't completely rid me
of my perishing thirst.Copy !req
137. Yes. Yes, that is the usual solution.Copy !req
138. Do you know what? I'm so thirsty...Copy !req
139. I think I might just crack this open
and drink it here on the step of your shop.Copy !req
140. Of course. Why not lie down
on the pavement afterwards,Copy !req
141. - if you're feeling a little bit sleepy.
- What an excellent idea!Copy !req
142. - See you tomorrow, John.
- See you tomorrow, Hugh.Copy !req
143. - Oh, and that's a bad miss.
- (ICE RATTLING)Copy !req
144. Viewers in the north may be experiencing
some sound interferenceCopy !req
145. for which we apologise.Copy !req
146. What about viewers in the south?Copy !req
147. We haven't got any viewers
in the south, have we?Copy !req
148. It's not the highest standard of
play this afternoon,Copy !req
149. but it is respectable.Copy !req
150. Yes... it... it is perfectly respectableCopy !req
151. and these are
two perfectly respectable young men.Copy !req
152. They... they were born a certain way,Copy !req
153. presumably, or perhaps they were given
dollies as children...Copy !req
154. Who knows how this happens?Copy !req
155. But... now they've just gotta get on with it.Copy !req
156. Well, they do say to you these days, Ted,Copy !req
157. that if you do find yourself of the queer
or bent way of thinking,Copy !req
158. then the best thing to do
is just come right out and say itCopy !req
159. and don't, whatever you do,
spend 42 years living a lie.Copy !req
160. Those years weren't wasted for you, Peter.
You won the UK championship twice.Copy !req
161. - I know.
- But...Copy !req
162. what I didn't realise, is these guys,
that these gay guys,Copy !req
163. they won't just come up and do it to you,
if you don't want them to...Copy !req
164. as I know many in the sport fear they will.Copy !req
165. In jokes, Ted, in the film "Deliverance",Copy !req
166. but not in the Crucible bar.Copy !req
167. William, have you slept
with Alice again?Copy !req
168. - Mm?
- Have you slept with Alice again?Copy !req
169. Er... yes, I think so. Sorry.Copy !req
170. How many times must I say, I don't like
you sleeping with other women?Copy !req
171. I'm sorry. We were at a conference, I
wanted to some sex, you weren't around...Copy !req
172. You've always got a good excuse,
but still...Copy !req
173. Still what? She's very pretty and I never
thought you'd find out.Copy !req
174. Well, I don't care. I don't like it.Copy !req
175. Oh... come on, be reasonable, darling.
You've met Alice.Copy !req
176. She's taller than you,
she's got bigger breasts...Copy !req
177. I was hardly going to turn down the
chance to sleep with her.Copy !req
178. It's not as if you're losing out.
I carry on sleeping with you too.Copy !req
179. Yes, OK. Fine.Copy !req
180. - Good.
- Oh. I meant to ask you the other day.Copy !req
181. - Can we start a family?
- Er... no, better not.Copy !req
182. - Why not?
- I don't like children, I never want any,Copy !req
183. and if I did, it wouldn't be with you.Copy !req
184. But I want to have a baby.Copy !req
185. Well, you know. Sorry.Copy !req
186. Oh, did I tell you that I have
a secret gambling problem?Copy !req
187. For heaven's sake, Rachel,
what's the matter with you?Copy !req
188. Are you trying to pick a fight?Copy !req
189. - No.
- You've been niggling awayCopy !req
190. ever since you came in.Copy !req
191. "Did you sleep with Alice?",
"Can we have a baby?",Copy !req
192. "I'm a secret gambler," blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
193. I'm just talking.Copy !req
194. - I know what this is really about.
- It's not about anything.Copy !req
195. - This is still about the fridge door, isn't it?
- It's got nothing to do with that.Copy !req
196. Good, because... we have to move on.Copy !req
197. Nearly a whole quiche I had to
throw away, you bastard.Copy !req
198. So, it is about the fridge door!Copy !req
199. And milk! So much milk!Copy !req
200. I... look... I've said I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.Copy !req
201. Think I care if you're sorry?Copy !req
202. I'll never see that quiche again.Copy !req
203. It's... it's... it's just I know...
I know I had a moment of madness.Copy !req
204. I left the fridge open. I...Copy !req
205. I know you can never forget, but...Copy !req
206. Try to forgive.Copy !req
207. I will. I'm sorry I have these outbursts,
but I am trying.Copy !req
208. I understand.Copy !req
209. Give me a kiss.Copy !req
210. - All better?
- All better, yes.Copy !req
211. Oh, and about Alice, you did use
a condom, didn't you?Copy !req
212. Oh! (CACKLES) Silly boy!Copy !req
213. Good evening and welcome
to "Small Talk".Copy !req
214. I'm Raymond Terrific, and in a format
experiment I was not in favour of,Copy !req
215. tonight we'll be discussing some tiny
matters of no real consequence.Copy !req
216. Joining me,
instead of the usual boffins,Copy !req
217. are some of the most superficial
and idiotic people in the public eye.Copy !req
218. Anita, you got your pubes out
in "Big Brother".Copy !req
219. Your question, how do you like to relax?Copy !req
220. I'm very spiritual, as anyone
who knows me would tell you.Copy !req
221. I just like to chill out in the bath
with some oils and candlesCopy !req
222. and just get me a bit of head space, yeah?Copy !req
223. That was awful.
Right, press on.Copy !req
224. Tony, you were a professional footballer
before going to prison for racism.Copy !req
225. You now run your own nightclub.
What's your favourite flavour of crisp?Copy !req
226. - Er, probably prawn cocktail.
- I hate this.Copy !req
227. Anita, what is objectively the best crisp?Copy !req
228. - That's a tough one.
- I have to stop you.Copy !req
229. I'm being told that that talk
is actually marginally too big.Copy !req
230. Zack Chancery, a hairdresser
who came to the public's attentionCopy !req
231. for having a name a bit like a font.
Your question, how's your day been?Copy !req
232. Super.Copy !req
233. That's all.
For next year's "Children in Need"Copy !req
234. hopefully they'll just get me to sit in
a bath of Pot Noodle, or cut my cock off.Copy !req
235. In the meantime, sorry and goodnight.Copy !req
236. We don't!Copy !req
237. Martine, what is kiss?Copy !req
238. Bontempi like.Copy !req
239. Martine, what is hand job?Copy !req
240. Look, boiled sweets.
Pensioners must be close.Copy !req
241. You learn much, Martine.Copy !req
242. Utapoo, what is wrong.
You look sad, my friend.Copy !req
243. What is this place? I haven't seen it before.Copy !req
244. Covered retail area.
Great sadness for Utapoo's people.Copy !req
245. Every year more and more space devoted
to non-garden products.Copy !req
246. - The bastards!
- This, all once perennials.Copy !req
247. Now, home and giftware section.Copy !req
248. Soon, Father's land disappear
due to retail diversification.Copy !req
249. - There must be something we can do.
- Mm. Must make sacrifice to the idols.Copy !req
250. Take him to the shed of destinies.Copy !req
251. (ALL CHANT) Primula,
Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
252. Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
253. Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
254. (ALL CHANT) Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
255. Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
256. Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
257. Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
258. Primula, Wisteria...Copy !req
259. - (SHRIEKS)
- (PIERCING ELECTRONIC WHIRR)Copy !req
260. Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
261. Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
262. Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.Copy !req
263. - Primula, Wisteria, Leylandii.
- (BELLS TOLL)Copy !req
264. Primula, Wisteria...Copy !req
265. - (SHOUTS) Leylandii!
- (BELLS TOLL)Copy !req
266. Where's Utapoo? Where's Bontempi?Copy !req
267. Martin, you've been like this for three
days. There is no Utapoo or Bontempi.Copy !req
268. It might be food poisoning.Copy !req
269. Did you have anything to eat
at the garden centre cafe? It's awful.Copy !req
270. It's not food poisoning.
I was there, it was real.Copy !req
271. No, Martin, you're just very ill.Copy !req
272. - Then explain this.
- (PIERCING ELECTRONIC WHIRR)Copy !req
273. - (WEAK CHEERS)
- Thank you.Copy !req
274. - Happy birthday, David.
- Oh, cheers.Copy !req
275. - I got you a card.
- Ah, thanks.Copy !req
276. - Don't open it now.
- Why not?Copy !req
277. - Just don't open it now.
- Is there a rude message?Copy !req
278. - Just don't open it.
- I'm gonna open it.Copy !req
279. Don't. Oh, he's opening it.Copy !req
280. - "To David, happy birthday from Robert."
- Yeah.Copy !req
281. - Is that the best you could do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
282. - "Happy birthday from Robert"?
- Erm...Copy !req
283. Why didn't you want me to open it?
Were you ashamed?Copy !req
284. - You didn't want to have to face me?
- That's it.Copy !req
285. It could have been written by someone
who's never met meCopy !req
286. - but has seen my birth certificate.
- I find it difficult thinking up stuff to put.Copy !req
287. But... you're supposed to be a writer.Copy !req
288. It's just that normally we sort of
do stuff together.Copy !req
289. - Oh, right. So you expected me to help?
- Well, no, no. I mean, would you?Copy !req
290. - Oh, yeah, yeah, Rob. Absolutely.
- Just jazz it up a bit.Copy !req
291. Jazz up your sentiments
on the occasion of my birthday.Copy !req
292. - I'd be grateful.
- Right, yeah, OK. Well, er...Copy !req
293. How about, "To David,
my best friend in all the world"?Copy !req
294. I don't know about that.Copy !req
295. All right, how about, "David,
my long-standing colleague who's OK?"Copy !req
296. - See why I've been having the problem?
- Yeah. I mean, what do you feel?Copy !req
297. I feel the need to do the decent thing
so as to avert your moods.Copy !req
298. - You're being very honest.
- Thank you.Copy !req
299. How about, "David, on your birthday I
notice that everyone got you a cake...Copy !req
300. Is that why there's cake?Copy !req
301. ".. Even Sally from the office
got you a DVD,Copy !req
302. "so I popped to WH Smith
to spend $1.29 of the petty cashCopy !req
303. "on a card with a golf joke on it."Copy !req
304. Yeah, 'cause I know you like cricket...Copy !req
305. - Hm...
- ..so... golf.Copy !req
306. - Yes.
- OK. So... erm...Copy !req
307. Just, "Lots of love..." Well..."lov...",
erm..."Best wishes"... erm...Copy !req
308. Erm..."Yours sincerely... Rob."Copy !req
309. "Brackets, Robert Webb."Copy !req
310. Thank you.Copy !req
311. Guten Abend und willkommen
zu Numberwang.Copy !req
312. Mit mir heute sind Julie,
der ist ein HamburgerCopy !req
313. und Simon, der ist ein Frankfurter.Copy !req
314. - Julie, wie geht's?
- Nein.Copy !req
315. - Simon?
- Ja.Copy !req
316. Round ein, lass uns
Numberwang spielen.Copy !req
317. - Simon geht zuerst.
- 2.Copy !req
318. - Das ist Numberwang
- 8.Copy !req
319. - Das ist Numberwang.
- 23.Copy !req
320. Das ist Numberwang, round zwei.
Numberhosen.Copy !req
321. Kommen Sie her, Simon und Julie.Copy !req
322. Ah, sehr gut. Julie, Sie haben 12, 30 und 8.Copy !req
323. Aber Simon, Sie haben 2.389.411.Copy !req
324. Ah, danke, danke.Copy !req
325. Als wir fangen das letze round an,
Julie hat 17Copy !req
326. und Simon hat ein bisschen mehr
mit 16,974.Copy !req
327. Also, lass uns Wangernumb spielen.Copy !req
328. Rotiere das Brett!Copy !req
329. (COD GERMAN ACCENT) Is it safe?Copy !req
330. Is it safe?Copy !req
331. Julie, Simon, jetzt ist die Zeit,
Wangernumb zu spielen.Copy !req
332. Bevor wir anfangen, darf ich Ihnen
beide sagen,Copy !req
333. - "Good luck".
- Oh, thanks very much.Copy !req
334. Ach! Das habe ich gewusst!Copy !req
335. Nimm Sie weg! Julie, Sie sind
gewangernumbed.Copy !req
336. Aber Simon, Sie sind heutige
Wangernumb.Copy !req
337. Also, das ist alles fur
Numberwang heute.Copy !req
338. Morgen kommen wir wieder,
aber bis dannCopy !req
339. bleib Numberwang!Copy !req
340. 1994, the year of putting a bit of a kink in
the handle, sales up by eight per cent.Copy !req
341. 1997, the year of putting some of the
bristles in diagonally,Copy !req
342. sales up by 121/2 per cent.Copy !req
343. 2002, your finest hour, Chas.
The year of putting in some blue bristlesCopy !req
344. to tell them when they need
to buy a new one.Copy !req
345. For the first time people are actually
taking orders from their toothbrush.Copy !req
346. Sales up by 26 per cent.Copy !req
347. Guys, it's 2006.
I have one question for you.Copy !req
348. What's next?Copy !req
349. - Erm... Chas.
- No.Copy !req
350. Come on, guys, this is serious.Copy !req
351. People are out there right now
buying toothbrushes that we didn't make.Copy !req
352. We may have run out of things we can tell
them they need on their toothbrush.Copy !req
353. I think we could get them
to brush their tongues.Copy !req
354. No. No, I admire your reach, Gus, but no.
They're not gonna brush their tongues.Copy !req
355. I think they will. I think that if we tell them
to brush their tongues,Copy !req
356. - they'll brush their tongues.
- Is there any health benefit?Copy !req
357. I have no idea, but show me your tongue.Copy !req
358. Er... yeah, you see? Dirty.
He's got a dirty tongue.Copy !req
359. - Has he?
- No. But you thought he might have.Copy !req
360. And when it's a Scottish brunette in
glasses and a lab coat saying it...Copy !req
361. I think you might have something.
They might actually brush their tongues.Copy !req
362. Of course they will.Copy !req
363. (COD SCOTTISH) Did you know that up to
68 per cent of us suffer from dirty tongue?Copy !req
364. Over time, microscopic anti-tonganoids
build up a gritty, towelly surface,Copy !req
365. which might very well mean that
people laugh at you behind your backCopy !req
366. - and secretly find you repulsive.
- We'll have to market it at men too, Gus.Copy !req
367. Which might well very mean that that's
why you're not getting enough sex.Copy !req
368. We'd put something
on the back of the toothbrush?Copy !req
369. Doesn't matter. People won't
actually brush their tongues.Copy !req
370. It makes you retch. Everybody knows that.Copy !req
371. But when they're buying a toothbrush
they'll forget everythingCopy !req
372. except the Scottish brunette telling them
that's why they're not getting enough sex.Copy !req
373. They will. They will.Copy !req
374. They'll brush their goddamn tongues.Copy !req
375. And if we can get them
to brush their tongues,Copy !req
376. - we can get them to do anything.
- Exactly. Hence this.Copy !req
377. What the hell's that?Copy !req
378. (COD SCOTTISH) Did you know that 83
per cent of us hate the shape of our ears?Copy !req
379. Oh, and that's a bad miss.Copy !req
380. Well, Laurence Caswell has left
a massive opening thereCopy !req
381. for such a potent cue man
as Mike Sylvester.Copy !req
382. And while we're on the subject of gay sex,Copy !req
383. I've never discussed on air
with you before, Peter,Copy !req
384. the reasons behind your own decision
to come out as a gayboCopy !req
385. and how that's made you feel.Copy !req
386. Well, Ted, it's as simple as this.Copy !req
387. You get to a certain stage in your life,
when you realiseCopy !req
388. that your wife's about to go public,
and you think to yourself,Copy !req
389. "I might as well cash in
on the exclusive before she does."Copy !req
390. That's very moving, because... because
of course it caused a crisis in my own life.Copy !req
391. I was not, for many years,
a friend of the gays.Copy !req
392. I didn't perhaps understand it
as well as I do now.Copy !req
393. You were worried about the booth, Ted.Copy !req
394. If I'm honest, Peter, that was the nub of it.Copy !req
395. It's not a big booth, this our booth,
but as you pointed out to me,Copy !req
396. over that drink that
I finally allowed you to buy me,Copy !req
397. if you'd managed to keep your hands
off me for 18 years,Copy !req
398. why on earth would you
jump me now?Copy !req
399. Particularly when I'd be on me guard.Copy !req
400. And we laughed, didn't we, Ted?Copy !req
401. We laughed, and I think that was
the turning point. I...Copy !req
402. I thought, "That man Peter has been
to three out of my four weddings.Copy !req
403. "Best man at the last two.
I've been to his wedding.Copy !req
404. "Albeit we now know that was a lie."
Anyway.Copy !req
405. I have in my own way loved this man.
That's not a word I'm afraid of.Copy !req
406. We talked about what I was afraid of
and established...Copy !req
407. and... and established that
you wouldn't do it to me.Copy !req
408. So... so I realised that just because
my friendCopy !req
409. and long-standing professional colleague
has announced that he's gay,Copy !req
410. this is no time for me
to turn me back on him.Copy !req
411. Thank you, Ted.Copy !req
412. Particularly in the booth.Copy !req
413. - Greece, was it?
- Yeah, Rhodes. Spectacular.Copy !req
414. - Good.
- Me and Jen in front of the temple of Zeus.Copy !req
415. - Right, sunny.
- Yeah, it was brilliant.Copy !req
416. And this is us back in our hotel room.
Ooh, that one's a bit saucy, actually.Copy !req
417. Sorry, thought I'd deleted that.
Moving swiftly on.Copy !req
418. - And that one is actually even more, er...
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
419. Yeah, er... and this is us
on our deserted beach.Copy !req
420. - Ooh, dear oh dear. At least she waxed.
- Please... no...Copy !req
421. And this is us on the ferry over to...
Ooh, that is very fruity...Copy !req
422. - Please, can we stop?
- Oh, sorry. The rest are all...Copy !req
423. - Look. This is us in our villa.
- Bloody hell.Copy !req
424. Oh, you spotted that.
We were just having a quick...Copy !req
425. - And this is us by the pool.
- (SHRIEKS)Copy !req
426. - That one is very naughty.
- Look, I'm just...Copy !req
427. Stay where you are! And this is us
in a little taverna that we found.Copy !req
428. Not "Listen With Mother".
We kept that pepper grinder.Copy !req
429. - Please, can we stop!
- (SHOUTS) No!Copy !req
430. You've got to face it. Face it, David.Copy !req
431. Look at it. It's for your own good.
I'm trying to help you.Copy !req
432. All right, all right, leave me alone.
I'll read the porn mag.Copy !req
433. Cover to cover?Copy !req
434. Yes.Copy !req
435. There'll be a test.Copy !req