That '90s Show 2x2

Laura Prepon as Donna Pinciotti-Forman • Don Stark as Bob Pinciotti • Lisa Loeb as Self

As Leia and Nate go on their apology tour, Nikki ices them out and Jay thinks of ways to get even. Kitty and Red meet their potential new neighbor.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. My life is over.

2. I just announced over the radio

3. how I almost hooked up with my boyfriend's best friend.

4. Freaky Freddy and the Turd already named me Skank of the Week!

5. On the plus side, winning this week makes you eligible for Skank of the Year.

6. Gwen!

7. Shh!

8. I'm waiting to see if they'll still give me my Spice Girls tickets.

9. Remember? The ones you sabotaged with your yap-yap mouth?

10. Yes, I'm still holding.

11. Gwen, please tell me they don't know.

12. They know. They know everything.

13. Think that's gonna keep Jay and Nikki out?

14. - Yeah! - Worth a shot.

15. You forgot something.

16. The other door.

17. - I'm so sorry. - No.

18. Bro, I love you.

19. Don't you dare...

20. Can everyone just make out with everyone, so we can just move on?

21. Hello, Wisconsin!

22. Hey! Dude, you warmed up enough. Just...

23. Just kick my ass already. I deserve it.

24. Boys. Everything turns to violence, am I right?

25. Ow! Oh!

26. I can't believe I'm about to unleash my karate on the person I care about most.

27. I trained for literally everything but this.

28. This would be so hot if it was literally any other guys.

29. Jay, sweep the leg.

30. No mercy.

31. Damn you, Nate!

32. My legs wanna do karate, but... my arms wanna do a hug.

33. What if...

34. No, it's stupid.

35. Tell me.

36. What if you just listened to your arms?

37. - I missed you, bro. - I missed you more.

38. I'm so glad that we're all okay.

39. We're not okay.

40. And I gotta get out of here 'cause you're still hot,

41. but I'm pissed at you.

42. And that is super confusing.

43. Hey, Nikkle Pickle.

44. Oh!

45. One of my balls went back up.

46. I promise nothing happened.

47. Our faces just came near each other, but nothing touched.

48. Yeah, her face was completely dry.

49. You know how slobbery my kisses are. It's like sucking on a car wash.

50. It's seriously true. You can ask Gwen. She was there.

51. So you knew about it this entire time?

52. Which means you knew too.

53. Me? No.

54. Nikki!

55. Yeah, I knew.

56. Hey... Mom.

57. Could you say it without the face?

58. I thought I did.

59. So, I want to talk to you about the house next door.

60. It's happening!

61. You're moving back home.

62. We are gonna be best friends, Donna. I'll bring you to my aqua aerobics class.

63. Mostly we just stand there and do this and talk about Michael Bolton.

64. I just love you so much.

65. We're staying in Chicago.

66. You are dead to me.

67. Okay, but...

68. I think my dad might buy the house. He's coming up to check it out.

69. Then all the grandparents would be in the same place.

70. I can host Thanksgiving every year.

71. Oh, Donna! I am gonna buy so much butter!

72. I want him to live closer too.

73. I just had to go to Florida to bail him out.

74. He thinks every beach is a nude beach.

75. We just have to get Red on board.

76. Hey, honey, how's your morning?

77. I fought for this country,

78. and you know what people chose to do with their freedom?

79. Spit their Commie gum on my driveway.

80. Should we wait for him to be in a good mood?

81. I've been waiting 40 years.

82. So we have some fun news to share.

83. Donna.

84. You know how the house across the street is for sale?

85. Kitty.

86. There is a particular person. Donna.

87. Who might buy. Kitty.

88. It. Donna.

89. - Kitty? - Donna?

90. Red!

91. Bob?

92. We're gonna be neighbors again.

93. Kitty.

94. Donna.

95. Jay and Nikki still won't talk to me, and I'm freaking out.

96. How are you so calm?

97. Nikki and I fight a lot.

98. I'll just let her cool down, and then I'll apologize and...

99. We'll have bananas makeup sex.

100. Well, that isn't an option for me 'cause I made two people mad.

101. And three people can't have sex.

102. Oh, honey.

103. But I did have an idea on how to fix things with Jay.

104. Why are you in my apartment?

105. You don't.

106. You don't even look like me.

107. Can I have your cat?

108. Get out!

109. Fine. Whatever. It's not like I practiced the song all night.

110. Here's the thing, Leia.

111. Ever since you've been back,

112. every decision you've made has been tragic.

113. So from now on, I'm in charge.

114. No, Gwen.

115. I made this mess. I'm gonna figure something out.

116. Uh, just... let her do it, Leia.

117. She's really good at fixing stuff. When I kept sleeping through my alarm,

118. she's the one who figured out to just come in my room and punch me in the nuts.

119. Happy to help.

120. Well, think about it.

121. Bob moving back here might not be the worst idea.

122. Yeah, it is. You don't remember what it was like when he lived next door?

123. No boundaries. He never knocks.

124. He just bursts into our house like the damn Kool-Aid man.

125. Well, I prefer to focus on the good times with Bob.

126. I can't... I can't think of any specifics right now,

127. but overall, I remember a happy feeling.

128. Why do you always have to force things?

129. I am not forcing anything.

130. A man died across the street, a house opened up.

131. If anyone's trying to play God, it's God.

132. - Guess who loved the house. - It's perfect.

133. All the bathrooms have carpeted toilet seats like I like.

134. That's all he looked at. He didn't even see the kitchen.

135. We are so excited you're here. Right, Red?

136. I'm thrilled.

137. Red, why don't you take Bob to the garage and show him your toys?

138. They're model trains. And there's only one controller.

139. I'm in.

140. Anything with "model" in the name, I'll play with it.

141. Have fun, Dad.

142. Okay, go on. Go on. I think it'll be a hoot.

143. Maybe I'll start the car and let it run while we're in there.

144. As long as you're doing it together.

145. It's a lot of grunting.

146. Did Nikki make up with Nate already?

147. No. This might be a solo ride on the pleasure train.

148. It's supposed to be this loud?

149. Hey, Nikki.

150. Hope you're at a natural stopping point...

151. because Leia's here to apologize.

152. Oh, good. You opened the door.

153. Yeah, so I could slam it in your face.

154. Okay, you better go.

155. But what about my Frosty?

156. Do you honestly believe you deserve a Frosty?

157. I do not.

158. Nikki?

159. Oh, thank God. It's just Tae Bo.

160. I don't want to talk to you.

161. - It's okay. We got rid of Leia. - I was talking about you.

162. - Me? - Yeah, Leia's clueless.

163. She's like a doll that was wished to life yesterday.

164. But you've been lying to me this whole time.

165. What about Ozzie?

166. Gwen told me to lie. She threatened my family.

167. I thought we were actually friends, Gwen,

168. and that I was more than just Nate's girlfriend,

169. but I guess I was wrong.

170. This is so stupid, Nikki. Of course we're friends.

171. Ozzie, give her your Spice Girls tickets so she knows we mean it.

172. Oh...

173. I wish I could, but I like myself more than either of you.

174. Are you serious?

175. A stupid concert is more important than your friends?

176. Don't ask a question if you don't want the answer.

177. Thanks for doing this with me.

178. So how'd you get Jay to agree to talk to me?

179. What is she doing here?

180. You said you got a buyer for my painting.

181. I'll buy it.

182. Oh, yeah, like you have $100,000.

183. Dude, just talk to her. She's really sorry.

184. I'm not ready.

185. You broke my heart.

186. Plus, I just had a huge art deal fall through.

187. I didn't know you were such a good painter.

188. Yeah, well, maybe if you spent less time sucking on his face,

189. your mouth would be free to ask me about my passions.

190. Almost kissed.

191. Okay, I'm going.

192. Is it this hard with you and Nikki?

193. Not really because... it happens all the time,

194. which isn't great, but I think we'll be fine.

195. If we get past me calling her grandma hot, we can make it through anything.

196. She was an Olympic swimmer.

197. Anyway, I'm more concerned about you and Leia.

198. I just wish there was something I could do to get past this.

199. You know, like, even the score?

200. She kissed my best friend, so I should kiss her best friend.

201. My sister?

202. Then I'll end up being your dad.

203. Yeah, you're right.

204. But there is someone else.

205. Oh hey, Jay. You hungry?

206. I'm always hungry.

207. You should eat more fiber.

208. Here. Let me help you with that.

209. Oh, that was a lot.

210. Hey, girl.

211. Dude.

212. What am I looking at?

213. I'm really sorry if I got your hopes up.

214. Dude, you wouldn't live through it.

215. Whoo-whoo!

216. Don't touch that.

217. Why don't you tell me what I can touch?

218. Well, you touch that doorknob over there.

219. Just wiggle it around a little bit, and then close it behind you.

220. Whoa. I thought we were out here having some guy-on-guy fun.

221. Look, Bob, I'm gonna say this as nicely as I can.

222. Every minute with you is my own private hell.

223. I got to be honest, Red, the insults to my personality

224. feel very personal.

225. The kids are married, Bob, not us.

226. We're supposed to see each other at the wedding and at one of our funerals.

227. You are doing too much in between.

228. For 30 years I've been trying with you, but there's no point.

229. I'm done being nice to you.

230. Hey! Put that little man down.

231. Oops! I popped his head off.

232. That was Mayor Brown.

233. And his wife just died.

234. You know what else just died?

235. My offer on that house!

236. I'm canceling it.

237. See? Now I like you.

238. Here. Ozzie and I really want you to have these.

239. Really? 'Cause you held him down and dug 'em out of his pocket.

240. You touched it, Gwen.

241. Not my jam, but my mom would be thrilled.

242. This doesn't change anything.

243. Something really bad just happened to me, and you haven't even asked me if I'm okay.

244. I'm sorry. You're right, I should have checked in with you.

245. It's just, you're so strong and together.

246. Your bras always match your underwear, like in the commercials.

247. Yeah, well, it still hurts.

248. For real. Nikki, are you okay?

249. Not really.

250. You look like you could use a hug.

251. Give her back the tickets.

252. Narc.

253. Unbelievable.

254. It wasn't all you, Leia.

255. Lisa Loeb?

256. Pretty weird when someone just shows up in your house.

257. This is a bad time.

258. I really messed things up with my boyfriend.

259. What about all that crap he pulled last summer?

260. And the stuff in the kitchen with your mom?

261. Dude's a horndog.

262. - Wait, how do you know about that? - Leia, I'm everywhere.

263. Hey, Leia.

264. Who were you just talking to?

265. Uh... I was just listening to Lisa Loeb.

266. Leia, I really didn't want to seduce your mom,

267. but it's the only way I could fix what you did.

268. You know what? I'm sick of chasing after you

269. like I'm the only one who needs to apologize.

270. Last summer, you made me feel like everything was great,

271. and then, out of nowhere, you just broke up with me.

272. But then I said never mind.

273. That messed with my head, and it hurt.

274. So this is my fault now?

275. Leia, you kissed my best friend.

276. Almost! Almost!

277. Almost!

278. Well, I don't know what to do. I can't take back what I did.

279. Well, I can't either.

280. This sucks.

281. I just...

282. I wish we could start with a clean slate and not mess everything up this time.

283. Why can't we just do that?

284. 'Cause normally girls aren't up for forgetting all the things I did wrong.

285. Let's just clean the slate.

286. I'll go first. I'm sorry I almost kissed Nate.

287. And I'm sorry for messing with your head.

288. And your mom.

289. And for all the dumb stuff I'll probably do in the future

290. because I wanna be together for a very long time.

291. I missed you.

292. Leia.

293. You have no idea.

294. What in the Blue Lagoon is going on in here?

295. What kind of a show are you running around here, Red?

296. I went to say goodbye to my granddaughter,

297. and I caught this skeezeball slurping up her face!

298. We were just having a conversation.

299. Oh, I love a good conversation.

300. Hey, foot, you wanna go on a little trip?

301. "Sure, Red. I just hope it's up someone's ass."

302. Oh, it is.

303. You have two scary grandpas?

304. - Yes. - Yes.

305. What is going on in here?

306. Why are you two about to murder that little Kelso?

307. Mrs. Formans,

308. they're threatening me.

309. And my butt.

310. I don't know if they mean it, but I really can't tell.

311. They mean it. You should go.

312. What? No kiss goodbye?

313. Red, Bob,

314. embarrassing your granddaughter, threatening a child.

315. Look at these two getting along.

316. It's too bad you're leaving, Dad. It's gonna be a long summer

317. of Leia exploring her teen urges in the most irresponsible ways.

318. - Mom. - I trust you. You're amazing.

319. Something else is going on.

320. Oh well.

321. I guess we could just cross our fingers and hope she doesn't get pregnant.

322. Screw that. I'm not going anywhere.

323. We need another set of eyes on that hairy little punk.

324. You know, maybe having you around again isn't the worst thing.

325. Damn it, Red. That got me right in the thumper.

326. All right. All right. Don't start.

327. Come on, let's go grab a beer.

328. I drank all your beer

329. when you wouldn't let me play with your trains.

330. What did I just do?

331. Jay and I decided to start over.

332. We've got a clean slate. We can be whoever we wanna be.

333. I wanna be Batman!

334. But I don't want to wear that Bat hat. I want everyone to see my hair.

335. Summer's back on track.

336. It was hard.

337. But the hard things in life are worth it.

338. I'm not giving up on you, Jiffrey.

339. Jiffrey.

340. What a dumb name.

341. Isn't that right, Smuckerella?

342. I have the best girlfriend in the world.

343. Not only did she forgive me super easy,

344. but she's taking me to see the Spice Girls.

345. I think that's a strip club.

346. You know what's weird? I haven't even thought about us today.

347. I haven't either.

348. Our entire relationship is falling apart,

349. and we spent the whole day caring more about other people.

350. That's messed up, right?

351. Totally.

352. Like, why are we even together, right?

353. You don't think we should be together?

354. No, I...

355. I... I don't know.

356. Maybe.

357. Did you think this year was as good as last year?

358. - We've been fighting a lot. - I can't believe this is happening.

359. Okay, forget it. We love each other.

360. No, you... you already started. You can't take it back.

361. Just say whatever crap you need to say.

362. I guess, sometimes I think maybe...

363. Maybe it would've been better if I'd kissed Leia,

364. because then you'd have broken up with me instead of me having to say that I...

365. I don't think we should be together anymore.

366. Got it.

367. Thanks for the honesty, you dick.

368. Nik...